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How to Avoid Babysitting Your Friends' Children

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

How to Get Out of Babysitting

How to Get Out of Babysitting

No Kid Zone

Kids . . . some people have them and some people don't. If you happen to be one of the adults that do not have children, but your friends have started having them, you might be asked to babysit. If you genuinely enjoy the company of children, you may not mind babysitting your friends' children. However, if you are like me and not a big fan of kids, you are going to have to think of some excuses to get out of babysitting those children. I mean, seriously, why ruin the bachelor or bachelorette pad with Legos and Goldfish cracker crumbs?

Since I am never stuck babysitting my friends' kids, I am happy to offer some great advice on how to avoid babysitting kids for other people. In some cases, you will need to babysit the kids at least once to prove how untrustworthy you can be with them. In other situations, if you hate the thought of ever babysitting, I will offer some helpful advice on how to get your friends to stop asking you to babysit once and for all. The suggestions may seem a little harsh, but hey, I am only trying to help.

Babysit Once and Never Get Asked Again

  1. When babysitting a group of children for the first time, make sure to give them as many caffeinated drinks as possible right before the parents come to pick them up. They will be so hyper on the trip back home, the parents will never trust you again. Bonus points to you if any of the children wet their pants on the car ride back to their house.
  2. With great enthusiasm, agree to take in your friends' children for a while. Insist you are going to teach the kids some important new skills. Once you've got them in your home, it is time to start all those home repair projects you've been putting off. Sure there may be child labor laws, but at least your friends will never bother to ask you to babysit again when they pick up their children and find them tiling your bathroom floor. If they are too young for home repair, they can at least do all your dishes and vacuum. You might not even mind having them return if it works out well.
  3. Completely wrecking young children's sleep patterns is a great way to make sure you never have to babysit kids again while the parents are on vacation. Let all the kids stay up as late as possible. If they are too tired to get up early in the morning, perfect! Now you get to sleep in. If you were forced to babysit the kids for an exceptionally long time, see if you can get the children to sleep all day and then stay awake all night. You will never be allowed to babysit again, but you will be the coolest babysitter ever.
  4. Make sure to let the children watch anything and everything on TV they've never been allowed to see. Does Betsy want to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Well, pop in the DVD. Has Kellie and Kevie always wanted to watch Jersey Shore and Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Time to go On Demand and start a TV show viewing marathon!
  5. If you are babysitting the kids at their own home, this is the perfect time to buy everything for them they are not allowed to have when their parents are around. Some perfect items are:
  • Smelly magic markers
  • Play-Doh
  • Paint
  • Extremely loud toys
  • Hundreds of Legos for the livingroom
  • A puppy

One Time Excuses That Work

Instead of ever suffering through a babysitting experience, you may want to use some of these helpful excuses when asked to babysit so no one will ever ask you again:

  1. "I don't think I will have time to watch them this weekend. I will be trying to earn some extra cash for bail money. My new boyfriend is in jail right now, but don't worry. He told me he was framed. I can't wait for you and the kids to meet him!"
  2. "Oh sure, I can help watch the kids. Do you think they will mind helping me prepare for sacrificing a chicken tomorrow night? Oh, and I will have some company over helping me. The kids might learn some new chants. It will be fun."
  3. "I could babysit the kids, but remember that time I lost Sally's kid for 3 days? Honestly, I did not even realize she was missing for a day or two. Let's face it, I am pretty forgetful."
  4. "I am sorry, I can't babysit your children on the weekend. That is when I volunteer to babysit zoo snakes in my home. I have about 15 snakes staying with me this weekend."
  5. "I guess I could babysit for a bit. Can I pin them up in the same cage I use for my cockatiel? It is pretty big."
  6. "I won't be able to watch the kids at my place. We will be filming an episode of Hoarders there. I am hoping we find my couch soon. I haven't seen it in two years."
  7. "Sure, I'd love to babysit little Joey and Sue this weekend. As a matter of fact, I already managed to kill my pet goldfish and two potted plants this week. I need something to love! Keep your fingers crossed! I hope I have better luck with your children!"

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 27, 2013:

FlourishAnyway - Cursing like a sailor usually helps keep the kids away.... unless their parents are desperate for a sitter. The movie Uncle Buck is a good example of that kind of desperation. Hehe.

MelonieGilchrist - Thanks so much! I am happy you liked it.

Thank you both for your comments.

MelonieGilchrist on May 24, 2013:

This is hilarious!! Love this article!

FlourishAnyway from USA on May 24, 2013:

Good hub. With my nieces and nephews (there are SO many of them), I remind their parents that I can sometimes curse like a sailor ... but that I will TRY to hold it in.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on February 24, 2013:

Oh, you are a good friend. I just do whatever it takes to get out of babysitting. :-)

carrierichard from California, USA on February 24, 2013:

well sometime you got to.. no escapes.

SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on February 13, 2013:

Thank you for following me. From WA to HP.. Its all about making money. Thank you once again for the interesting hubs.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on February 13, 2013:

Sure, my fellow WA user! :-)

SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on February 13, 2013:

I guess we should follow..

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on February 13, 2013:

Nope, I always have the same sarcastic outlook on life. ;-) Thanks for checking out my page.

SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on February 13, 2013:

So you never leave your WA character. I love this Hub and thank you for sharing. This is very interesting.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 26, 2013:

You are a nice guy to babysit your nephew. I don't have much patience with babies. They are cute for a few minutes, but they are way cuter when you can hand them back to the parents. Hehe. Thanks for your comment!

Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on January 26, 2013:


this is quite an interesting read. My friends have kids, but they have never asked me to babysit. However, I have often watched my sister's baby boy. I hate baby sitting when the child cries and gets dirty, otherwise it is fun to watch a child.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 18, 2013:

Glimmer Twin Fan - I don't blame you. I am sure your own kid is way cooler than anyone else's kids. Thanks for the comment!

shiningirisheyes - I am happy you enjoyed it so much. I am happy to say I will never be known as the queen of babysitting. ;-) I have a tough time taking care of fish. I fear for children's safety if they stay with me for any length of time. Thanks for your comment!

Shining Irish Eyes from Upstate, New York on January 17, 2013:

I just do not know where to begin here! I am also having quite a hard time typing through my tears of laughter.

I was someone who couldn't have children but love them just the same. That being said, I am the queen of babysitting.

This article had me laughing from beginning to end,

Great job!

Claudia Porter on January 17, 2013:

I have a child and I don't like babysitting other people's. Funny hub.

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 17, 2013:

Hahaha... if they are pumping them full of sugary sweets the whole time, it must just mean they actually enjoy babysitting them. :-) Hooray for awesome grandparents! :-) Thanks for your comment.

Marissa from United States on January 16, 2013:

So wait: you mean to tell me that when my parents watch my kids and give them gallons of sugary drinks and then send them home, they're actually trying to tell me they don't want to babysit? Yikes! (Or, they're just typical grandparents...)

This is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. :)

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 16, 2013:

Victoria Lynn - Most of my friends already don't ask me to babysit. I think they already see I can barely keep my plants alive, so trusted me with a human life is not a good idea. :-) Thanks for the vote up!

jonmcclusk - You are a pretty cool person if you don't mind babysitting. I guess older kids are OK, but younger kids are just a handful. Thanks for your comment!

drbj - Yes, a puppy just might help. Of course, I've found the chicken sacrifice works well on getting out of many awkward situations. Thanks for checking out my hub!

drbj and sherry from south Florida on January 16, 2013:

I'm going to try out that ordering a puppy online for them suggestion, Jeannie, and if that doesn't fly, the next time I'll do the chicken sacrifice routine. Thanks for these awesome excuses.

Jonathan McCloskey from Cinnaminson, New Jersey on January 16, 2013:

Ha, I babysit children all the time and I don't mind it actually. I should still send this article to the parents, haha. Great read.

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on January 15, 2013:

This is awesome! I'm fortunate that my friends don't ask. Whew! I did babysit my nieces some when they were younger, and it isn't so bad anymore now that they are getting older.

These are great excuses. A very funny hub. Voted up and everything else!!

Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 15, 2013:

Uh-oh... perhaps it isn't as easy to get out of babysitting as I had imagined. Perhaps I need to seem crazier. Hmmm... thanks for the comment!

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on January 15, 2013:

That is hilarious Jeannie! There are a few kids around here that I can tease and I say stuff like, "oh look it's time for you to go home!" or I might pretend I'm letting something leak like my mafia connections...then when my husband gives me "that" look? I say well honey if they go home and tell their mom I said that they aren't ever gonna let them come back here! Much to my surprise some parents just don't care! They do send em back anyhow! LOL