With a desire to help and inspire people around the world—Ashley currently blogs about life, psychology, purpose, spirituality, and more!
Growing up in a Broken Home
Growing up in a broken home can be a difficult experience, especially if you're forced to at a young age. Those that have grown up in a broken home understand the difficulties and everyday challenges that you have faced in the past. Although toxic environments aren't easy to be around, there are also important lessons to be learned from them. Here I will share with you the ten lessons that I have learned personally from growing up in a broken home.
When you come from a broken home, you can understand the vulnerability in which you saw weakness in your family that you never wanted to see in the first place. From the constant fighting, screaming, and door slamming, you've witnessed broken hearts from a young age. It's almost like you were forced to grow up and be the strong one in the family and you were there so much for others that you were never there for yourself.
People that have grown up in a broken home understand the feeling of never wanting to go home. We find the comfort of home in other places, so we try our hardest to stall going home as much as possible. Running away is the closest thing to us that feels like home.
If anyone knows pain, it's us. We know what it's like to hurt so when we come across others that are hurting, we do our best to be there for them. We show the empathetic side of ourselves because when we were at home hurting, we wanted the people that weren't for us which makes us give out the things that we've always wanted, but weren't able to have.
When you grow up in a broken home, you can understand the feeling of wanting to be loved. It's something that you will always want in life because it's something that you didn't have growing up. You tend to have a big heart for people, and continuously wish that you could have the same love in return. Even if you don't receive the same love from others, you still go out of your way to give because you understand what it feels like to not feel real love, and you don't want anyone else to ever have to feel the same.
Many people will unintentionally bottle up their emotions. We tend to guard our emotions, simply because of the fear that we have. We fear that the emotions that we have, will be used against us later on, which leads us to remain quiet about how we truly feel. We have a difficult time expressing our emotions because anytime that we have, it has been at the wrong times.
When you grow up in a toxic environment, you are already aware of the different traits of a toxic person. This is why we have the ability to differentiate those who are a threat to our lives and those who are not. It is also why we distance ourselves from other people because we have already gone through intense chaos at home, and don't want to relive the pain.
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Some of us have had to protect our siblings, or even our own parent's from physical and emotional pain. If you had to act as a protector at a young age, of course, you will carry the same trait with you as you get older. It is completely normal and the reason behind it is because we sense that we NEED to act as the protector to those that mean the most to us.
We become our own bullies because it felt like anything that we did, wasn't good enough for anyone. It always feels like there is something wrong with us. It becomes so persistent that over time, we begin to become our own self-critic. We become self-aware because others won't.
When you grow up in a toxic home, you begin to resent the tension. Tension for us is almost like a ticking time bomb and we do everything we can to try to avoid it. We would rather communicate and try to resolve problems before they manifest. That is why you will find yourself wanting to run out the door when you are in an argument with someone and is your first instant reaction.
As we get older, life assures us that things will get better and that we as humans matter. We have this inner desire of wanting to succeed in life because we want to have a better future rather than dwelling on the past. We want to succeed so that one day we can have a family of our very own and give them the life we never had as children.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2018 Ashley Marie Riley
buttercup35 on February 24, 2020:
This was honestly the most relatable thing ever :( everytime someone says your too sensitive or empathetic but they just don’t know the reason behind it
peachy from Home Sweet Home on May 23, 2018:
Sorry to hear about your family. It is hard and difficult but I am sure you will learn to accept a new life as you walk ahead