I have a BFA in 3D animation. I'm also very interested in cinematography, editing, and web design.
If you have overprotective parents, then you're familiar with the fight that comes with wanting to go out of the house or hang out with friends without supervision. Depending on how overprotective they are (there's definitely different levels), you may or may not be in for a real fight (even if you're just wanting to go out to see a movie with a bunch of friends).
Even though my dad would encourage me to go out, my mom would say, "How dare you want to go out. You must hate me!" When I was younger I couldn't stand up to my mom, so I grew up never hanging out with friends or leaving the house. Throughout elementary school and middle school, whenever someone asked if I wanted to do something with them, I would ask my mom and she would guilt me into not going. After that, I stopped trying. My friends stopped asking if I could do things, so I became lonely and upset with my mom. I desperately needed to gain my freedom.
Steps to Gain Freedom From Your Parents
- Prepare yourself and your resolve.
- Make your stand.
- Be patient and keep trying.
1. Prepare Yourself and Your Resolve
If you've reached the point where you are tired of not being able to go out with friends, or you want more freedom for yourself, the first thing you need to do is ready your mind. This is crucial. The first time you make your stand against your parent(s), you'll have to fight against the urge to avoid further conflict and cave in.
For me, this didn't happen until my third year of college or so. Yes, I know that is a very, very long time. I regret not going to any of my high school dances. Although, to be honest, I wasn't too interested in dancing and I was super self-conscious and rarely said a word to anyone throughout high school. I did, however, really want to go to the party after prom, but my mom somehow ended up guilt-ing me into not going. I ended up crying and just thinking "fine, I didn't want to go anyway."
2. Make Your Stand
Before even confronting your parent(s), keep your end goal in mind. If it's to go out with friends to a movie, don't let them win right away. It's okay if you don't get what you want at first. Try to barter and keep it at a level that they will be comfortable with.
If your parents don't want you hanging around with the opposite sex (which is another issue, but relevant), assure them that there will be a lot of people going. If they don't like you being out past a certain hour, see a movie and be back before that time. After a while, you can start asking for more. They will get more comfortable with you leaving the house. Just give them what they want somewhat (like a text message when you get there) and don't push too far too quickly.
Honestly, it's a lot like taking baby steps. Don't expect them to be okay with you having a serious date and not coming home until 1 A.M. the first time you ask. Let them build their trust in you first and get comfortable before stretching their limits.
Really, it's not so much as "asking" as putting your foot down. This may be hard at first, but if you open yourself up to a "yes or no" question, they're going to automatically say no, because they said so. An example of this would be "I want to go to the movies this Friday with so and so. A lot of people will be there and I'll be home by [insert time]. I'll text you when I get there."
Depending on how they answer, you may end up having to barter and convince them. "I've been doing really well in school lately and I don't go out a lot. I'll be sure to be careful, [insert name of responsible friend] is driving." It also helps if your parents know who you are hanging out with. If you have to bring them by, go for it. Play video games, ask if they can come over for dinner, etc. If your parents are comfortable with your choice in friends, they'll be less likely to say no.
Read More From Wehavekids
3. Be Patient and Keep Trying
I can't stress how important it is to keep trying and pushing your boundaries. Depending on how overprotective and how hard it is for you to get your parents to agree to let you have your way, the longer it'll take to get them used to the idea.
My mom always complained that I was "given a little freedom and then I took advantage of it." Yeah, because I had been cooped up for years and years! But, realistically, this made it harder to get her used to the idea of me going out. I probably should have taken it slower, but by that time I was 19 or 20 and I knew that she was being unreasonable.
Be prepared for "I'm not talking to you" and the silent treatment every once in a while. I luckily had my dad to help calm my mom down sometimes, but I would still come home and find that my mom wasn't speaking to me. Eventually though, she did finally get used to me leaving the house, having a job, hanging out with friends and having a boyfriend. It wasn't in any way easy for her to accept it, but I tried to make it easier by spending time with her.
I figure that one of her biggest fears was me not wanting to spend time with her, so I made sure to still watch tv together and keep in touch with her via texting when I could.
It's not easy, but if it's something that you want, keep trying. It's well worth the struggle and once you finally do gain your freedom and independence, you'll find that you don't feel as anxious, lonely, and caged up as you used to.
Why children of overprotective parents are slated to fail in life
Overprotective parents are invasive in many ways. They solve problems for their children that the latter are often capable of solving for themselves. They infantilize their children by making them feel incapable of charting their own course. This can lead to anxiety and feelings of inferiority. It makes it harder for the child to handle chaos.
How do you define an overprotective parent?
The overprotective parent wants to protect their children from harm, physical pain, unhappiness, rejection, hurt feelings, failure, and disappointments. When it comes to their children, these parents are fearful of everything. This can lead to feelings of over-dependency or resentment from the child.
Is being overprotective good in a relationship?
Trust is the base for any healthy and good relationship, familial or romantic. To keep a relationship going you must trust a person. Overprotective parents are signaling that they do not trust their child. This can create feelings of inadequacy in the child.
What causes possessiveness in a relationship?
Simply put, insecurity causes possessiveness. When one becomes overly possessive and protective, it demonstrates that the person doubts the relationship. This insecurity is presented as a lack of trust. If a person cannot demonstrate confidence in someone else, then how does that person expect to be held in the confidence of others?
How do I stop being overprotective?
- Keep expectations and goals realistic.
- Don't let guilt or fear make you overprotective.
- Don't bail out the child from every mistake.
- Respect the child's need for privacy.
- Don't try to choose your child's friends.
- Allow freedom and privileges based on the child's developmental level.
- Encourage and support independence.
Conditions Caused by Bad Parenting
Lack of Independence
Kids who are unable to make a decision without their parents are usually too afraid to take chances. They have a perception that the world is a dangerous place without the help of their parents.
Depression, Feeling Guilty
By belittling their efforts, parents can inadvertently cause their children to think of themselves as fools and failures.
Inability to relax
An adult who can never relax may not be able to understand children. They often hate immature people.
Extremely Low Self-Esteem
Parents who too often compare their child to more accomplished children will raise a self-critical child that will become an adult with an inferiority complex.
Suppression of Emotions
By denying a child the right to express their emotions, the parents are also suppressing feelings, which can give rise to psychological issues.
Ways People Control Their Children
Parents try to choose the child's friend.
Your child will likely revolt against your choices. They want to feel that they made their friends on their own.
Parents have unrealistic goals.
The child will become stressed and feel like a failure or a fraud even when they're doing well.
Parents don't give their children privacy.
The child is likely to resent you or become overly dependent on you.
Parents make daily choices for their children.
Let your kids make their own choices about what to wear. Don't demand that they like your music or artistic tastes. This will lead to resentment.
Parents don't let their child fail at anything.
Eventually, your child will be an adult and will fail at something. If they don't know how to handle failure, then they are likely to overreact, becoming angry or depressed.
What to do with a child that is out of control?
- You need to remember to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically, so your children don't end up with that job.
- You need to remember to observe yourself and your relationship patterns. These include your own thinking, feelings, and behavior.
- Set rational and realistic limits and give enforceable consequences.
- Recognize your own contribution to the positive and negative behaviors you see in your child.
Most Common Parenting Mistakes
Under or overdoing it with your kids.
Becoming overindulgent in your children, never giving them space, being too critical, or living through them will only lead to resentment in the long run.
Not getting to know your child.
If you do not know your child, then you will project your own impressions onto your child and this will skew their self-image.
Believing that worrying about your kids will prevent them from harm.
You are not in control of the universe. The more scared you are of everything, the more scared your children are likely to be.
Maintaining expectations that are too low or too high.
Parents often make the mistakes of compartmentalizing their children. Maybe the parent labels their firstborn the "smart kid," the next child "the attractive one," and the youngest one "the social child." This is unfair. Comparing your kids inadvertently gives each of them the message that they are good at only one thing.
Making your children the center of your life.
You may not be taking care of yourself. And, what message do you think that is sending to your children? The message is that life is no fun for adults because adults don't take care of themselves. This makes your child hate the idea of becoming an adult.
Skills Needed to Communicate With Children
- Active listening
- Empathizing with the child's point of view
- Developing trusting relationships
- Understanding non-verbal communication
- Building a consistent rapport
- Explaining, summarizing, and providing useful information
- Giving feedback in a clear way
Do these rules work in other relationships?
Yes. In fact, all of these rules revolve around one core issue, trust. Trust is the base for any healthy relationship. Demonstrating that you trust your children is important. To keep any relationship going, you must trust a person. Trust is one thing that can definitely help you avoid being an overprotective parent, friend, or partner.
- David Stoop and James Masteller (1997-02-10). Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: Healing Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families. Regal. ISBN 978-0830734238.
- Nancy J. Napier (April 1990). Recreating Your Self: Help for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families. ISBN 978-0393028423.
- Raising Children Network Staff. "Praise, encouragement and rewards". Raising Children Network. 2011-04-10.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
whaa on August 25, 2020:
Y'all really hate ur parents? u see they may be overprotective, but just deal with it, until you are big enough to leave them and start ur own life. That's easy, just do what they want you to do, then when ur big, leave them, but not forever. You can visit them sometimes, but dont end up hating ur life, and praying for yourself or your parents to pass away, like me. I used to do these prays, but i stopped, and my parents didn't pass away, thanks god. So.. have fun with ur life, and peace!
Joy Njiru on August 15, 2020:
Amm my parents started refusing me to go out when l was 11years just because l was a girl when l was 13 yrs they became somehow not strict but immediately after l finished kcpe it is like they changed when l asked if l could go for a sleepover they would always assume the worst and not listen to me right now am in form 1 and l have been suffering from depression for 4 years l feel that since l am the firstborn l can’t live my life l am always the househelp they mostly just assume that am in bad company l recently asked them if l could go to a party and l would observe the precautions of covid but nonetheless they just said no without asking me my point of view because of them doing this l have been shy and always afraid when trouble comes l just wished they could just hear from my point of view
Anonymous on August 11, 2020:
I really want to go to Agnes with some of my best friends for her birthday but my mum told me no cuz it’s for my own safety but there will be two adults supervising, 5 others there to stop me from doing anything dumb, no people of the opposite sex and it’s still a no. I will admit that I am still quite young (13) but I’m a teen now so I should get some freedom. I’m never aloud to do anything with my friends not even aloud them over.
Lena on July 23, 2020:
I'm 26 and my mum still overprotecting me. :(
pooja on July 15, 2020:
my mother isn't talk to me since 4 hours i am feeling soo alone that i am missing something in my life that i would die without her may she talk to me soon that may she can understand my feelings god plz make us one
Emma on July 14, 2020:
I thought I was alone, but after reading these comments I feel like i'm not the only one with this same problem. My parents don't let me wear crop-tops or let me walk around my neighborhood or let me go out to see movies with friends...I can't have social media because my parents think that my account will get hacked and someone will find out where I live. I can't walk around my neighborhood because they think I'll get kidnapped (even though my neighborhood is a gated community) They said that I can't wear crop-tops because who knows what reasons, they said I can't wear ripped jean shorts because they show my underwear (Even though they dont) @emily, i feel the exact same way as you do. I do try to obey my parents best i can but the more I try the more misserable i am. The more depressed I am. Kids at school laugh at me because my parents dont let me do anything. Sometimes i feel like i dont even have a life worth living. I can't make any dicisons on my own without my parents butting in. They treat me like i'm five years old or something. But I'm not. I'm a teenager. I can talk to my mom about other things but every time i ever bring up this topic they shut me out. They say "I know whats best for you." But the thing is they dont. Do any of yall have parental locks on your phones? I do. If they really knew what was best for me then they wouldn't tell me how to live every detail of my life. Sometimes i feel like i'm just a book charchter, like the author of the book if my own parents who already have my whole life planned out chapter by chapter. Does anyone else feel like this? I am also scared that when i grow up, i wont know how to be a good adult or handle the real world because i was never taught it as a child due to the fact that im so sheltered.
minari on July 08, 2020:
emily on June 20, 2020:
reading these comments made me feel like i wasn't alone and that many people are struggling with the same problem. My parents have always been very strict with both my older sister and i. The only problem was that my sister never chose to go against them. She continued to listen to them, she in their eyes was the 'golden child.' but the only problem was that I was different. I always tried to 'fit in' as best i could. My sister had no social life, and i saw the way she ended up, tho she was very successful, she had little to no friends and was very overweight with little thought about her health. I may seem stupid saying this, but small things like the restriction of wearing cropped tops to not being allowed to not have sleep overs with my friends was a huge problem for me. i ended up losing so many friends.. i just wans't as close to them as they were to each other. my parents are very caring and loving, but they were always so demanding. to the point where i felt like i wanted to take my own life. i tried so hard to listen to them, i rlly did. but i felt that listening to them made me miserable. i felt so worthless, my life was so empty. my parents always worries about how other people would perceive them. 'if u wear that ppl will think that im a bad parent' despite them always telling me 'not to care what other ppl think' and that i 'didnt hv to try and fit in so much.' the thing that irritated me the most was the fact that they always brought up traditions. i was born and raised in a western society, and they expected me to be the perfect brown child? how would that work. i was also sent a girls school where majority of the people were white, which meant that i would obviously start acting like them. my parents used to hit me a lot, until i spoke up and told them that it was wrong and they drastically reduced the amount they beat me. my parents always blamed my friends for being a bad influence, but in reality, they didnt even want me to have friends. I am rlly sick and tired of them. and i just want to move out, bcos my mental condition isnt good anymore. and im not so sure i can bare this pain.
I'm not joking on June 20, 2020:
I trained my body until i was realy strong then fought with my parents it sounds absurd but i realy did it
Destinee Charles on June 17, 2020:
I'm 14 and my parents NEVER let me go out/hang out w/ friends. Even saying that I had friends was weird and awkward bc they didn't allow me to have any. The only place I would ever go was home, church, and the store
My mom never talked to me about emotions, sex, friends, hygiene, so I learned everything from YouTube. I was never allowed to have a phone, and I wanted one so bad b/c I just wanted to keep in touch w/ my friends.
They took me out of school in the middle of the year in 8th grade and since then I've been struggling with depression, social anxiety, and feel so trapped. They think they are doing the right thing, but their actions have only caused me to hate them even more (which I know is not right, but that's just how I feel)
I just want to leave. There were days where I wouldn't eat, days where I wouldn't shower, wouldn't leave my room bc of how depressed and lonely I felt. I would cry myself to sleep at night just wanting to feel loved. The only thing they did for me was make me feel guilty. Now my entire high school experience is over. I won't have a graduation, I lost my closest friends, and my entire life is a lie.
Strict parents only produce rebellious, depressed, and lonely kids who want nothing but freedom
Ria on June 16, 2020:
I- I literally searched 'what shall I do with my over-protective parents'
Im sick and tired. Im so frustrated its getting depressing. I HAVE NO PRIVACY. I share my bedroom. I don't have internet access. I cant go out. wear branded clothes. message my friends. HAVE FRIENDS.
None of these steps work for me. is there any other tips Yall have?
Just went to fly like freedom on June 14, 2020:
My parents are to overprotective my siblings follow , everything I say or do is wrong it always has to be there way nor mine. My siblings are they follower and I am my own leader. What I believe and etc is wrong. My parents and siblings also invaded my privacy , controlling, toxic and many more. I feel trap and in jail they don’t let me make my own decisions even tho I am an adult my dad is chill sometimes but he does what my mom says , recently in February that passed I found out they went into my old iPhone that I had I deleted and erase but it was to late and my family had it saved in there IPhones and computers and are blackmailing me with it because none of my fam like my bf even if they got to met my bf im scared what they will do or capable of doing so I don’t want my bf near mi family I don’t even wanna be near my family . They judge me on everything and are criticized always compared me to my siblings and other on the other hand my parents and siblings don’t respect my boundaries no one respect me and what they are doing to blackmailing is wrong because of a agree to disagree with my bf which is normal having ups and downs that’s how I see it. And it all started because of my sis like getting into my buisnees when no one in mi family had the right to come in between without me even asking them and I never ask them to get into my life it’s my life not there my parents alredy live there life and are trying to repeat the same story on me the oldest I just wanna live my life wihh my bf , have my freedoms be respect I have always respect my family but they have never respect me and my decisions my anxiety and depression gotten worse I even have anxiety or panic attacks sometimes I can’t sleep good anymore and I wanna go away and cut toxic people such as my family off and have no contacts and I want to start fresh and new for my health and mental Health. Even if I told my fam that I want to move with my bf I’m scared of what they are capable off but either way you only live once and do whah you got to do and forget about my family it’s my happiness that I want all I wanted was support from my family to move in with my bf I tried talking with my family but they tend to do the opposite, and I am going to do what I believe is right for me nor for them is they actually care abut my happiness my family they would have supported me and not blackmail me the way they are doing. I get it that they are afraid of experience of me living life but that part of life we live and learn from our mistakes no one perfect and we are humans we all have the right to think different point of views but my health and mental health comes first for me. I don’t like when my parents and siblings to attach makes me feel wierd and nor use to it I just want to be me my own person and not pretend to be someone else I am not cause I am nor like that I don’t judge anyone we all have different stories but my story in my life to Much for me I can’t do this anymore and want to be free as a bird experience life and the world you only live once I don’t want to lose good memories I want to make I want good memories nor bad ones, even if my parents think they doing good is not good like the frase says what they think is good not always the best.
Just Like a Wavin Flag on June 08, 2020:
I ended up searching on google "why my parents don't let me be who I want to be" and found this website. I was very touched by the comments on this page. I'm turning 21 in 2 weeks and my parents are still overprotective (yeah...I know it’s very shocking!). My Mom won’t let me make decisions or go out to places independently with friends. I have to ask her for simple things, such as wearing nail polish, buying something, taking a bike ride around the neighbourhood and all sorts of stuff people do in life, but mostly getting “no” as the answer. My Dad is the opposite, still overprotective but filled with anger issues, and completely lacks the ability to understand my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. There have been times when he has turned into a monster because of his anger and superiority, which has left many long lasting memories in my mind about him. My parents would never let me make any decision by myself, which caused me to develop a dependence on them, as they are the ones who will always make the decision. When I was in school, I would be asked many times to go to parties, hang out with friends, go on trips, movies and much more, but I would have to ask my parents and they would always say no and tell me to not leave the house alone. My Mom would sometimes go on a field trip in elementary school with me, telling the teachers that she will act as a supervisor, but in realty keeping a close eye on me! I was not allowed to join school clubs as I would have to stay after school, or participate in any extracurricular activities. The lack of freedom to be like others made me a target for bullying, which I experienced throughout my school life as I wasn’t like everyone else. In a nutshell, I was never given the chance to be independent. I would often become depressed and commit acts of self harm because I was not allowed to be myself. Still, life has not changed. I continue to ask my parents for everything. I am not allowed to go out with friends. I am not allowed to go on social media. I have to get my parents permission to wear makeup and nail polish. The list just goes on and on! This is only because my parents are overprotective. I get the idea that they are very attached, but because of being overprotective, my parents never really got to understand who I really am. My future career is also chosen by them. At times I have told them that I want to pursue a certain career in life, but they just shut me up and tell me that they know better and they will decide what I will be. I really wanna stand up and tell my parents that I want to be independent, but I get scared and nervous everytime I think about it. I feel that my mom will be heartbroken from this as she is very attached to me. On the other hand, I don't have the guts to stand up for myself against my dad, and he will never understand me and it will turn into a a massive argument which can potentially go wrong. I wish my parent would give me a chance to take my own decisions, and let me live my life in peace and happiness.
I want to be free…
I want to be free “just like a wavin’ flag”.
Cameron on June 05, 2020:
This article made me feel so much better and seeing the comments from everyone and their stories makes me feel not so alone i turn 19 in a week and my parents can be a little overprotective my stepdad is the one who started it all when he cane into the picture it was all sweet my mom was happy and that made me happy but then they got married had my little sister who turns 2 next month and since they got married he has cause all of us nothing but stress, and lits of fighting and im sick of it, im trying to move out but im scared to say something this will be th first time i do something life changing and im terrified but i know i really want it. I have friends i can move in with and my relationship with them is not the best that it use to be but, i know that once i move out tbings will be better not just for me but for my mom she wont be in the middle of our fights and wont have to deal with either of us. He is a very black and white kind of guy where its his way or the highway kind of guy so I really wish i knew how to talk to my mom about moving out, i have mentioned it here or there but its like she tries to convice me otherwise and it works because one i love her but two she is letting me use her military benefits for school and i really need that but i want to leave without her getting mad at me. And i know that might sound crappy of me but if u lived in my house u would actually be able to slice the tension in the room with a knife.
Kusal on May 28, 2020:
I feel comfortable knowing that I am not the only person that is troubled by having overprotective parents. Compare to many of you here i feel like a spoiled brat writing this but here we go. My parents are really religious people and have their own beliefs that they think i also believe in. My parents did always encourage me and love me a lot but as i grew up i needed to socialize but never got the chance. I have never been on public transport alone, i have never had a birthday party or celebration with friends or even attended a birthday party. I've never hung out with any friends and i have never even been on a school field trip. I always wanted to have a best friend that i have had since i was small but my parents are doctors and they transferred a lot so i had to move too. I know my parents love me a lot and that is the reason they are being overprotective but I also would love to have some fun once in a while. I was never allowed to go out ever since we moved from an apartment complex where i got to play outside sometimes. Ever since then i have been a chubby kid cause i never got exercise Because i never got to play with anyone. Then i got addicted to gaming and now i just cant seem to stop. I also suffer from depression and anxiety but since my parents are doctors and I am from a South Asian country many people here don't take it seriously. I was also bullied at school to a point where i didn't like to go to school and skipped school by faking to be ill. My father was never home he works his ass off to provide for us but that also is a factor to our distant relationship. he was also very stern in in his opinions and cared more about his mother than he did about us. My parents were never in a happy relationship with each other. Whenever they talk to each other they like to point out their flaws in a sarcastic way and end up fighting and i have to try and calm them down. My father and mother both are very opinionated and most of the time their opinions are opposite. If I were to do something incorrectly i was always reminded of it again and again to a point where i didn't want to do anything so i would never mess up. I've come to point where i have given up on everything and i waste my life just playing games and procrastinating . i have my A/L's in 2 more months (which basically determines our future in our country). I'm pretty sure if i cant make it my parent will pay for private university but still i feel like i have wasted their money and time but i do not feel sad for them because of all the things i have missed in my life. I love my parents and i know they do everything to protect us from everything but they have learn to loosen the reins a bit. I do not blame them completely but they also have a big impact on why i have become the useless person to society i am today. I know there are people who suffer a great deal more than me but still this hurts too much and i had to share it with someone.
Lorelai on May 14, 2020:
My parents are so strict they won’t let me hang out with my boyfriend unsupervised (neither will his parents) even though we are both teenagers and responsible we both have good grades like all A’s and if my boyfriend gets lower than an A on something even if it’s an A- he gets grounded for a month his mother hates me and let him maybe once every 5 days talk to me on the phone for 20-60 minutes. We can’t go out for our 1 year anniversary in a month and a half even if COVID wasn’t going on I wish they would just let us be out I’m just tired of it and I’m scared that if I ask his parents about it that they will make him break up with me his mother hates me and idk y I’m nice and polite when I see her and I never have a bad word to say about her I just wish I could at least know why they are like this it’s better than not knowing
nikasha on May 05, 2020:
my mother is way to overprotective
she checks my insta acc. and decides who i shoud be friends with and who i shouldn't. i get really pisssed. She doesnt let me go hang out ith my friends without adult supervision
rania hamdaoui on April 13, 2020:
my father is very strict he always controlling me like how to eat or how to dress and just everything I don't even ask to go out with friends because ik the answer will be no and I'm just scared for how hell react my friends don't invite me places anymore because of that. i just feel lonely and have no one to talk to because when I try to express my emotions hell yell and makes me feel worthless. I just want a little bit of freedom. im tired of getting yelled at and feeling worthless every day when I do nothing its hard to speak when I'm home and I'm just quiet and when I try to go to my room for privacy my dad makes me sit with him so I never have a chance for my self
Latite on February 27, 2020:
I am 22 my mother doesn't want me to go out, she always complain even if i go out in a day for 30 minutes, she will just call in the mean time and yell at me. She dont want me to have friends, she want me to always be with her or alone. She always look for bad behaviour of my friends... I always have to try to have new friends coz i think maybe there will be the one that she will get connected to her. We dont have a mother daughter relationship, she doens't want to talk to me about general things, it always about work, money, family, college and so. I wish she should understand that i have reached that stage of making my own decisions not everythinf but as a child i need to be with my peers, to have girls talk and now i have a boyfriend the same age of me. This is really bothering me i even sometimes get annoyed if i have to go back to the house because she will be there she will start to yell at me and even if im trying to make a general nice conversation with her
Lisa on February 16, 2020:
Wow!!!i have to send my parents a link to this considering how nice the advice is
. on February 06, 2020:
I’m 20 years old and my mother doesn’t want me to go anywhere by myself. That includes walking places. Everything is questioned. I feel like I will never be able to “get out and do what I need to do to live”. No one should ever feel that way. And when I talk to her about this she tells me that I am the one who makes myself feel this way. Funny, last time I checked I wasn’t allowed to walk somewhere by myself.
man bur on February 03, 2020:
I just wrote an article but I was not signed in its name is mbdl but it was not saved imma just tell a short story in the summer of 7th grade my mom would not let me leave the house friends would come over and say hey can u come out my mom is east African and she always said no then i became sad and depression life till this day in 9th grade when i asked my mom can i go to the gym she kept on saying no then i became sad in depression in summer times she lets me play games then i started gaining weight but in school season im grounded i really hope this story gets shared and pl z help me get my other comment i posted on here get posted
Natasha H on December 22, 2019:
My mum is emotionally unavailable and very strict with my life. It feels like I cannot breathe because I’m unable to voice my opinion and I’m being kept at home. My family have forced me to stop being friends with my best friend because ‘she’s a bad influence’. Parents need to stop thinking they know what’s best for their kids and actually understand their emotions and desires instead of developing an unhealthy relationship. This parenting has caused me to develop poor self esteem and made me become very detached with my emotions.
Emerald Ekeng on December 09, 2019:
Hi, I'm Esmeralda!
I wish someone could just tell my parents to just stop interfering in my personal life. Like, I can't do nothing. Everything is a no, I have less friends and people hardly relate with me. It's so sad. Plus, I just want to be away from my Dad cause when I'm with him I feel kidnapped. I want to take my stand without anyone telling me down. Help, please!!!!
glory on December 02, 2019:
My parents don't allow me to go anywhere. Not even stay 5 minutes after school. I try to talk to them, but they use the excuse that i'm going to get kidnapped or something. I want to enjoy my adolescence. I have good grades, and i listen to everything they have to say, but it's not fair to not be able to go or do anything without them being on my ass about everything. Maybe i'm overreacting, but i just want to go out man.
Ashiii on December 02, 2019:
I wqnt ro go abroad for higher studies after 12th. But my parents are too protective of me and they say that living a life abraod is not safe. They never let me go on any movies with my friends. There are many of my friends they hated in my junior classes. They want me to befriend those who get good grades. I always text them when i reacg school and when by chance i cant text because of some network issue, they react in a way that is too annoying. Many people make fun of me because of the fact that i cant take any decisions of my own. They decided my career without asking me even once and i just got to accept it. They say they are just trying to better up my future so that i dont need to go abroad for higher studies. They want me to clear CA or LLB so that i can get a good job in this country itself. I wanted to become a writer but i cant even speak anything regarding my wishes in front of them. It's nearly impossible for me to confront them in case i want to go abroad. Just help me what should i do!! Try to understand my situation. I'm too fed up
Plink on November 06, 2019:
Hi everyone I'm a 19 year old Girl Doing my first year in varsity, My parents are very. Strict Especially Dad he is never allowing me to do anything they take me places i want to go, They take me to school, even when i want to go see my boyfriend, which they don't know about my Parents tell me i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend I'm still young, it's boring really Because my daily activities are Going to school read, clean the house, cook, watch TV, and sometimes go to the beach with them of course they're watching me About my phone they haven't taken my phone this year and read everything, thank god, they don't wanna see everything there, i make sure u delete every chat with my friends and my Boyfriend, my boyfriend and i meet up when i lie and say i'm going to school or what ever, we rarely meet about my friends we meet at school, and sometimes have a movie Day go to The Cinema, When i' m out with them they call every Hour if i'm okay or something, I love my parents very much but not trusting me it's hurting i have never got out at night partying, nor drinking alcohol, smoking all the cool things other people do To show them i'm not like them i know what i want in life, not that i want to do all of that, but i just want to have freedom now i know what's right or wrong i know how to take care of myself but they don't see that to them i know nothing about life
J on November 03, 2019:
Hi. In my case there are some similarities descriped in the article. But major difference is that they let me do things I ask but then when the time comes to go out my mum just somehow makes me feel guilty to go out. For instance she is always throwing the same example. Everyday when I come home from college she asks me if a have a lot to study and I say yes. So when I go out she says dont u have anything to study. But since i was a kid I have never ever said anything back to her because I was too afraid that she will be angry and that fear left till this day.
A on November 02, 2019:
My mom is very overprotective and I think it comes from my dad passing away when I was little, idk for sure but she won’t let me do anything the first time she let me stay home by myself I was 13 and before she wouldn’t let me go for walks I could only walk to the stop sign and back where she could watch me the entire time. Not only is she overprotective but she won’t let me do anything. I can’t get certain piercings (which I understand If it was like a belly button piercing but like I just want a nose piercing) she won’t let me cut my hair, she won’t let me dye my hair either (which I don’t understand because she let me in the past) she’s also judgemental, she’ll say things like “I don’t like the way that looks on you”, “you look homeless”, “that shirt makes you look bigger”, “those are for skinny people”. I know other people are going through much worse but I’ve never really had a safe place to talk about this. Like I don’t want to be here anymore I feel trapped, like I’m drowning and the surface is eighth above me but my mom keeps pushing me back down. I would runaway just so I could breathe for at least a couple hours but I’m too scared to. She also gets so annoyed sometimes when I walk into her room to ask a question so I usually don’t anymore. Like there’s so much more I could tell you but I think I’ve written enough. My plan is to dip next year when I’m 18 and I’m not gonna tell her til it’s happening so she can’t stop me. I want to be free so badly.
Ray Freeman on October 30, 2019:
My treatment foster parents every time I am at a friend's party I get dragged back to the foster home by my treatment foster parents
patrick on October 12, 2019:
I am 13 and my parent still treating me as a little child when i stand up they say i am disrespectful
dylan on October 02, 2019:
I'm 14 and have been dealing with my overprotective parents for as long as I can remember. I've tried standing up to them but that only leads to threats of extreme punishment. One of the worst side effects of having these kinds of parents is how I am almost constantly thinking about ways to run away. This sometimes makes it hard to study in class. My parents are the type of strict that rarely let me hang out with friends. And even if they do let me hang out, they insist I let them know exactly where I am at all times. Now, I am friends with the smartest, most well-behaved kids in my school and they still think they're a bad influence on me. It's gotten to the point where I don't enjoy being around my parents at all.
Ami on September 18, 2019:
I know that I have a little bit more freedom than other children, but that still doesn't change the fact that my parents are also overprotective(both of them on different levels). I'm 15(almost 16) and I don't really feel belittled, until it's about my grades/school or going outside. Me and my friends want to go to a city that's pretty far away(for internship) and of course, they didn't allow it(I understand why they would deny). My friends' parents allowed it and i'm the only one who's not allowed to go... I honestly just want some time alone(either for myself or with my friends), because just being alone at home is not the same as being outside alone. My parents think everything outside of our house is dangerous for me. My mom often critizes me(not aggressively. More like "You acne is still so bad" and so on... It's mostly because I have acne). She compares me with other people and doesn't trust me AT ALL. She's that kind of person that hits you, insults you, abandons you and will crawl back to you later and tell you how much they love you(sorry for this badly written sentence, haha). If I wouldn't have met my friends, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't even know, that I was manipulative to my old best friend(he distanced himself from me). I just seriously want to get some time away from my parents. It still feels like they're watching me, even though I'm all alone at home.
Oh, and they once tried to trick me into installing a GPS into my phone to know where I am. And btw: I've never lied about my whereabouts. I was obedient until now and they still don't trust me. They don't want me to live in another country when I've grown up and they told me that I can just live in the house we're living in right now... It's difficult for me to not just run away. I'm getting sick of my parents
Aneri on September 18, 2019:
Hi,I really liked your article because it felt like I had written this.I’m 19 and currently in third year of my college yet due to strict parents I haven’t got enough freedom.Everytime I go out I have to ask them first.In my first year I had to text them everytime I reached and left college.They are way too overprotective and that feels really suffocating.I want to live an independent life just like most of my friends do but I don’t see that coming to me in the near future. I’ve always been frustrated because of their stubbornness and everytime I argue I am shut down by them.This is becoming really hard for me and I’m losing all hope about being an independent,confident and self-sufficient person. I’ve been patient but it just doesn’t help.
David on September 09, 2019:
I'm 14 and have never had a phone. As many of you have said. No phone or social media then that means you are doomed. Thats entirely true believe me. My mom too reads all my texts between my friends on her phone which pretty much makes me never text my friends. Sadly my dad is pretty much working all day and gets home late. I dont even know how i have friends. I was pretty much the only kid who didnt have a phone at the end of 8th grade. Clothes isnt much of a problem as i like to wear plain hoodies and jeans. But i dont really get to hang out with my friends. The first time i had a friend over was last year when i was 13. last time too. Ive never been to a friends house without my mom waiting outside. Only have done that twice never again. Again that was last year. Honestly ive lost so much over this summer now that im in high school. i dont know any of the trends and half of my friends dont talk to me. undersocializing is a problem as i am pretty much always home. i dont go out much which made me socialy awkward and im always nervous when i go to stores or something. I honestly dont know how parents talk about how they used to be free and dont let us be free. Even my sister is being overprotective. Shes been threatening me about dating and shit and its horible. Shes just been getting in my business like its her life. IDK HOW WE CAN LIVE LIKE THIS. We need to be strong people. yet again i am a pessimist thanks to all this shit so oh well
Ingrid on August 25, 2019:
Hi I’m 14 and I think my parents are kind of overprotective. I am not allowed I have any social media when all of my friends do. I have never left the house to go hang out with friends other then their own homes. They still think I am a little kid. I just tried on some leggings and my mom said I had to wear them with one of my longer tops. Every time they judge something I wear I just want them to see what kids my age are wearing compared to what I wear. I am about to go through high school and more then over I want some form of social media. I have talked about it with them and they said that if I did get something then they would have to constantly check it. I have a phone and I get it in like 5th grade and just last year I got an Apple ID and I had to do it behind their backs because they kept just avoiding the question if I asked if I could get one. I finally got my own email. I can’t live my life like this I feel like they don’t even know me and that their idea is to go wherever I go and after high school I want to take a year off and travel but I feel like they would wind up going with me. I want to discover who I am without them. I need help someone tell me what to do.
nougat on August 18, 2019:
Im going to be 18 in a few days and feel like my mom is simply incapable of getting over treating me like a child. i have 3 other siblings younger than me (aged 9 to 16) and my mom never ceases comparing me with them..
My college is going to start shortly and i know that my mother is going to be strict with me. i fear that i wont be able to lead my college life like other fellow students. i frequently get teary eyed every time it dawns upon me how suffocated ive been feeling all along.
Throughout my school years, ive always had to beg them to let me hangout with my friends. There never was a time when they would say yes without first denying me. it pains me for always having had to persuade them to let me do something, especially because their denial was pointless. i always despised how weak it made me feel.
My mom always tracks my online activity and she pauses the wifi on my phone at all times. and because of that, i have no personal life. Every time i need to talk to my friends, i cant do so unless i ask my mom's permission to use her phone. i feel delusional every time i get a little hope that things would get better with time.
i wasnt allowed to pick a college i desired and hence i cant stay in hostel. ive been looking forward to it all my school years, just to get away from those torturous clutches, but no, whom am i kidding?. i fear confronting my parents since they are extremely manipulative and will somehow drive me into believing that im wrong and always come up with pointless arguments.Although, i have tried it but it always ended up in me crying in my room. i hate how it makes me feel so weak at the end, how helpless i am and how hopeless all this is. the idea of leading my future like this gives me the shivers. and i cant say anything to them since i live off of their money and they are the ones providing for me, paying for my college fees etc. her online tracking methods have immensely encouraged me to learn about the software she uses and find loopholes in its system, just so i could be anonymous.
Lily on August 18, 2019:
hi, im 14 years old and i just can't stand my parents anymore.They never trust me with anything. They have never let me do anything i really wanted to do , like going out with my friends or having a phone or using the internet on weekdays or even going out of the house to hang with my neighbourhood friends. I have two best friends and they're both very good at the internet and has many friends. But i don't have that many. I only have them. They havr told me to talk to my parents or talk to a teacher because they think my parents are really giving me a lot of depression. I've tried once but i made a second decision and decided that i shouldn't. Because i'm scared of them more than i love them. i reallly just want them to trust me . I've tried runing away to my friends house before because they wouldn't even let me go to any friend's house even if i told them to come along. Sometimes i don't even think im their real daughter. I just think they adopted me just to bully me everyday and let me do my homework everyday and all. I really just wanna tell them how i feel and cry it all out in front of them for once.
Once my best friends got into this squad and it kinda felt like they were leaving me out so i just ate my lunch in the toilet everyday.Now, they are fighting about some cheating pproblems. I just wished they would drop me off for an adoption and leave me with foster parents because that would've been better than living with them
Sarah on August 14, 2019:
My parents control everything they don't let me go out they don't let me wear what i want or do what i want they just control every single aspect of my life i feel like my life is just meaningless iam tired of it whenever i try to talk to them they scream or hit me iam just tired
Malvin on August 14, 2019:
I'm 15 turnig 16 next month from the UK. All my life I have felt like everything I do isn't really for my sake, but for my parent's. I never really enjoyed my time in primary school because I never had the courage to ask to do sports. I was wasn't a very bright child and I mostly kept to myself. Now I'm in secondary school and since I started my teens I haven't enjoyed it at all. I am rarely able to go out with my friends or just out in general without them being sceptical. I have always wanted to experience a real party or go to a carnival that happens every year here but I know that my parents will say no. I don't think they fully trust me. I have always had good behaviour and now I have some of the best grades in my year group yet it's never enough. I don't think that the hard work I'm doing is for myself, but more for my parent's approval. I finally convinced them to allow me to do a sport but when I tried before they never let me. I love them so much and I mean no disrespect but I have never been able to be the real me and express myself.
Caitlin From 3 Weeks Ago on August 01, 2019:
Hi, I have a little update. So, guess what. Im not allowed to wear ANY dress to an event that ALL my friends are wearing. I swear my mom wants me to shop in MOTHERCARE for it. I always feel left out around my friends as they usually ignore me. It hurts and i cry everyday and myself to sleep. There is also soooooooooooooo many things I can say, but im afraid to say it as it seems too real. I asked when can I get my eyebrows done cause almost everyone in my class has them done, but my mom said eighteen. But they are only little things. The ignoring from my friends has gotten reeaallyy bad. I cant even express how upset I am about it, and i wish I looked like the other girls in my class. I have gotten nasty comments on a certain part of my face loads of times. And good comments too i suppose, but yeah. I only lie in bed doing nothing cause I dont feel like excersising, talking, doing anything. Great way to spend the holidays. I dont know if i have depression, and there is four people in my life who are causing it. I cant say though.
Zee on July 27, 2019:
I'm 19 years old, going to be 20 in a few months and I'm stuck with an overprotective mom. She has controlled my life as long as i can remember.
I'm in my 2nd year of college and i still have to beg her to let me go out with friends. She doesn't approve friends of the opposite sex, she thinks every boy i meet has bad intentions or either drinks or smokes.
She doesnt let me go out for roadtrips, doesnt let me have sleepovers, and is totally against having a boyfriend.
I'm scared to stand up to her because i still financially depend on my family for college tuition.
My dad is comparatively much better and broad minded but unfortunately lives in another country cuz of his job.
I really don't know how to gain freedom from her, she wont let me stay in hostel either for no reason.
I want my freedom and privacy but i cant argue or fight with her. Please somebody help me!
anonymous on July 20, 2019:
hi. my parents essentially monitor everything i do on my phone. i am 16 and i cant stay up past 9 pm on weekdays (even if it’s to finish homework from my multiple ap classes) i’m not allowed to have my phone while i’m doing homework so that led to me creating a whole online account on discord and making friends there. it’s gotten to this point because they feel like they can’t trust me. i’ll admit i did chat on an online game called animal jam when i was little, but first of all it’s a kids game with moderated chat, and secondly everyone did it. i had seen so much worse from other people so i figured it was okay. my parents resent when i spend time with the opposite sex and when i was asked to prom i was literally struck with fear! not happiness, not surprise, FEAR because i was scared of what my parents would say. my dad got angry a boy ASKED me (it’s not like it made him my boyfriend). as a result of their overprotective behavior i’ve had multiple relationships long distance and online and i had to deal with the breakups internally and on my own to keep it secret. my mom basically guilt trips me into looking the way she wants by criticizing the way that i look (example, she hated when i had really long hair to my butt, so she would consistently make comments like “you look like a hag” “you’re so drabby” to get me to cut it short. needless to say i chopped 2 feet of it off and i couldn’t regret it more :)). i can’t listen to anything but christian music (which i break quite often because even my christian school doesn’t adhere to that) and they guilt trip me into not doing sports because they don’t want to drive me, yet they don’t want me to get my permit. it just frustrates me how much they control me and since i have good grades and a kind attitude whenever i confront them about it, they mention how everyone else tells them to “keep it up”. i feel trapped and misunderstood. i’m pretty sure i’m depressed but they claim it’s just teenage hormones. i’ve contemplated cutting at this point.
Aya on July 18, 2019:
I'm planning on leaving my parent's house in two years, with or without their will. And i'm kinda scared because i've never talked about this topic.
Caitlin on July 05, 2019:
I'm twelve years old, turning thirteen in a few months. My parents are the worse. I am probably the most mature person in my class, even though I am the oldest. Yep, I am the oldest in my class and this still happens to me. I got a phone about two months ago. I had been begging for one for years as EVERYONE in my class had one. As I got one a little later than everyone else, I presumed there wouldn't be any of my moms crazy rules. Haha, wasn't I wrong. My mom nags me if I am on my phone for five minutes and says Im addicted. Then she said Im not allowed it in my bedroom. I'm allowed my phone from ten o clock in the morning to seven o clock in the evening, for one hour. WTF. I also have to have my phone downstairs by seven o clock on the dot. My Mom also has an app to track what I'm doing. EVERY single ONE of my classmates hung around the town for four hours two days ago for the last day of school. EVERYONE. Except me. My mom lied and said we were going in town but we never did so I could miss it. I'm not allowed to hang around anyway. If she was going to be like this with my phone, why didn't she get it for me when I was older and there was no rules? I literally know my Auntie soo well, and she NEVER does any restrictions to her NINE year old daughter. My mom turns off our internet box. Oh yeah, and did I mention my mom promised that I'm not allowed to get a second piercing till I'm 26? All I can say is overprotective much?
Mariya on June 24, 2019:
I’m 13 and turning 14 in a couple of months. I read some of the comments below and i found that a couple of you guys have it worse than me, which reminds me to always be grateful of what i have. Anyway, the ‘level of my parents is quite high. You see, these days, if you are my age and still don’t have social media- let alone a phone - you’re practically doomed. That means you can’t communicate with friends, you can’t feel included in the..society. And I don’t have a social media account nor a phone. I’ve tried to get my parents to buy me a phone, but they don’t trust me. They say i’ll misuse my ‘freedom’. But I won’t. I’m not that type of kid anymore. I’ve changed. But the thing is about my parents, once they have an image of you in their mind, it will never change. I mean they think I am the type of kid that sleeps at 8:00pm. They thing they know me, but they don’t have a single glimpse of the real me. That fragile girl under that ‘dazzling smile’. Back to the real issue. They once offered i use their phone, and I accepted. But I stopped using their phones when I caught my mother reading the messages between me and friends. Every time I look around me, i see kids having the time of their lives, and when i look back at myself, i see years passing by with no highlights, no special memories. I mean, childhood is all about memories, and my childhood is coming to an end, with tons of blank pages in it.The one good thing about me is that i can stand up for myself, so I don’t get bullied, and i’m surrouned my a group of friends that i like, but no one knows my struggles. Another thing about me is that I am an intelligent student (my teacher’s words), I get good grades, but my parents never notice that. All they notice is that lost half mark, or that detention for being tardy. The other kids’s grades literally SUCK, and i swear to god i gave this girl in my class who failed in three quarters of the subjects so her parents took her to malta. Me, in the other hand, with a great report card, getting a lame congratulation. I haven’t reached the point of self-harming or suicide, and i hope I don’t, but crying myself to sleep is still present, showing no sign change in the future.
No name on June 15, 2019:
I’m a 14 year old female...almost going onto 15. As some already know, 8th grade/highschool females are VERY judgmental about everything that is different. And as a girl who has no social media because of my mother, and isn’t aloud to be fashionable, other girls pick on me. My mother says “You dont need social media” anytime I ask for snapchat. For christ sake I even told her she could MONITOR all social media accounts! But no... she doesn’t trust me. I told her I want Snapchat because no one texts anymore. It’s not “cool” I guess? I don’t know. But anytime I try to ask she just says no, adding a smart ass comment. But I know the real reason why she says no, BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T TRUST HER OWN FLESH AND BLOOD. I have made good grades all my life, I’m going into culinary arts and JROTC with all advanced classes. I’ve never committed a crime, never lied to a teacher or my mom, I’m serious. Why doesn’t she trust me? I don’t know. She always says how when she was a kid that her father used to whoop her with a switch because she got a “D” on her grade card, and she also worked at a bar at 16, SNUCK OUT of her house to go DRINK, STOLE from farmers nearby, she grew up in the country and is now in the military, and drove cars illegally without a license. Yeah, she told me all that. And she doesn’t trust ME? THANKS TO HER IM JUDGED AND PICKED ON. I CANT GO ANYWHERE, I CANT HAVE ANYTHING, I FEEL LIKE IM TRAPPED...I know it sounds depressing but whenI day I love my mother I KNOW i’m lying to myself. Truth is, I cry almost everyday day after school and add on to my big runaway plan. Yes I have one, I guess it’s not running away idk. I’ll go to college, get my degree, move to the opposite side of the US, give my mother the wrong location, and send a letter telling her about all those years when she shunned me from living a happy childhood and having some experience with love, At the end of the note I will leave it with “You never trusted me or liked me so why would you want to be near me? Sorry mother I am finally free and happy. Maybe now you’ll see that everything has a consequence.”. I will go Make a living and enjoy my life to the fullest, that is if I don’t kill myself. And I know your thinking “This girls a attention seeking emo kid”. But I actually am picked on everyday. I am the oldest yet least liked. I am “Sensitive and weak” as my step family likes to say, or “The mistake” as my brothers say. I am LITERALLY LIVING IN HELL. I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO STOP ALREADY AND I JUST WANT TO BE STUCK IN A FEILD OF FLOWERS... A field where only animals can see me, while they eat berries and chase each other, where the bugs don’t bite. THATS where I want to be. In a sun catching grassy field , watching children play while they mind the deer, and be happy, quick lean dogs chasing squirrels and mothers playing tag with their barely grown children. That is true happiness.
Karen on June 01, 2019:
Hey guys I’m 12 years old and my parents won’t let me go on a date with my boyfriend because they don’t think I’m mature enough and plus they don’t like him I really want them to get to know him better so I tryed to ask them if he could come over sometime but they said no I really want them to know that I’m okay and I’ll keep them update with everything that me and him are doing but how do I let my parents know that I’m mature enough and can handle anything and say NO when something starts happing how do I get my freedom and be allowed to go out with my boyfriend
Janella on May 31, 2019:
I wish from the very start of me having good friends (both genders) back in middle to the beginning of high school, I was able to hang with my friends more often that I would like to. I regret the decisions I made up until this day because I turned into a rebel, being angry at my parents because they wouldn’t let do things. I see other kids/teens have the time of their lives with their friends, and I know I messed up now because of my recent mistake, but I still wish to this day that I could spend time with my friends.. guys, girls, and my crush/boyfriend. I feel that it would take me out of depression and lessen my anxiety levels, and be more coping/kind with my parents. I feel so excluded and my friends rarely invite me anywhere anymore or when my friends do ask, I already have the sentence ready.. “My mom/dad won’t let me go, I’m sorry”, and they would persist or get mad. I tell my friends sorry all the time because I can’t really go anywhere with my past mistakes still in my parents minds. But once again, I wish that they were more accepting of m emotions to the way they handle my life. I wish I was free and be happy. I feel that my life would progress and be better, along with my schooling being better if I was able to be somewhere I am happy and not always feeling like I’m caged and not able to be happy. I feel that I am belittled all the time and forced to spend time with family more than friends (not that I don’t love my family), it just makes me feel alone because even my cousins could spend time with their friends if they wanted to. I also feel that just because I’m the only child and a girl (16, about to be 17 in July), I am restricted always and forever will be. I wish my life was easier and more fun.. I feel drained everyday.
John from 2 weeks before on May 26, 2019:
This is John from before. I feel you and your struggles. I feel like my childhood was wasted. My dad promised to get me a bike when I was 10 if I could get good grades. I worked my butt off and got the highest grades in my class. He then told me he couldn’t get me the bike because it wasn’t “safe to ride around in the neighbourhood. I was like “Okay. You know best.” 3 years later, he got my sister a bike and when I talked to him about his old promise, he said he would get one for me. I am now 17 years old; I do ‘t know how to ride a bike because he made promises and never kept them. What made it worse was the fact I wasn’t allowed to go outside so I couldn’t even learn on other kids’ bikes.
Furthermore, he keeps treating me like a child. It was supposed to rain one day, so I decided to wear boots because my shoes weren’t waterproof. He saw me in my boots and got mad at me and told me to go back home and change them. I tried to explain but he didn’t listen and told me if I wasn’t changing them, I should stay home. I decided I would stay home. 2 minutes later, he comes into the house and slaps me for not changing my shoes and orders me to change them. I said “No.” and got slapped 2 more times. I eventually had to change them because he pulled them off my feet.
This is my life. A life in which making decisions about my shoes gets me slaps from my parent. He spent the whole day trying to guilt trip me for saying no. I cringe at the thought that I’ll have to stay with him for some more years. I know there will be more fights but my mom is dead and no one can help me reason with him. I am honestly very afraid for my mental health because I feel like hurting him very badly and these thoughts scare me, because they’re not me. Can someone give me advice? Please take into consideration that he doesn’t let me go out and I don’t have a single dollar. I am also a very new immigrant from Africa. Advice please before I might make a decision I regret for life!
some human in uae on May 22, 2019:
I feel u lol I basically have strict dumb parents and I can't go out if u cant sneak out trust me its worth it if you scared then don't you deserve to enjoy ya teenage life
Njara on May 11, 2019:
I'm 24 years old and I'm having all of these issues and all of other issues on other websites and youtube videos. I've discovered this concept of "overprotective parents" today. I thought we (me and my siblings) were the only subjects to this curse.
I've lost my childhood, a childhood that will never be back again never ever. Same for my teenage. I was trying to avoid it when I had 12, I remember it like yesterday. I was aware of the problem and I knew my childhood was lost, and I wanted to avoid loosing my teenage again but it happened and it's over I'm 24 years old.
Currently, I'm already experiensing the fact I would loose my relationship life too. I suck with my girlfriend (and any other elementary relation with others).
I have other plenty mental illness like depression, OCD, ADHD, tachypsychy too.
I'm just done with my life and I'm planning suicide soon or later before 40. I'm currently having to make hard decision about pursuing my relationship with my girlfriend and having childs. I don't want and I will never let any child if I'm planning suicide. I'm looking for a way to explain all of my issues to my girlfriend now and telling her to find a far more better husband then I'm free to just commit suicide. I always dream of this ultimate freedom and hapiness. 3 This day will come 3
Maya on May 09, 2019:
Hey guys I am 12 years old and basically I have a hard life. In school I started cross country and I convinced my mom to let me have a phone so that I could call her because cross country was an after school thing. When I had my phone my mom would be so strict and me not having social media and if I did I would face consequences. First thing you know I go to a birthday with friends and they were like get instagram. I got it and then my mom found out and she did not let me have it for a month.After that I was done with cross country and I just had my phone and then my mom was seeing that I was getting addicted and she took it away. After that I back talked to her and guess what.... she took it away for a long time and she said I could have it in 8th grade. I am in 6th grade right now and that was a cruel punishment.I was really mad. Then at school all my friends would have parents that were soo nice and not mean like my parents. They had phones and tbh I would get jealous. I would also walk to the library across school and I only walked there twice. After that my mom was being so overprotective and she would say I would get kdnapped when the library was right across the street. She would say that she had to drive me there and I would get mad. After that I was hanging out with bad friends and she would literally spy on me and after that I would just say there is no point in this lets just go home. About three months later she would get very strict and one day I couldn't handle it anymore so I walked to Starbucks across the street that was about 15 minutes walking. My friend said that nothing would happen so I did it. Well my mom found out and she said that she would not let me go after school and hang with friends and go to the library across the street for a month. It was April so basically for the rest of the school year. My friend gets to go to the mall and basically anything and I can't do one of those things.She would ask me do u want to come to the mall with me without parents and I have been trying for about a month to convince her and my mom will just say noooooo.To this day on, I do not know what to do anymore AND I just give up.If you have a life like this I am so sorry and I feel you I went through this and have cried myself to sleep.I am done with all of this.
John on May 06, 2019:
Hey. I’m almost 17 and this describes my life. My mum passed away when I was 12 and since then my dad has raised me and my siblings alone. I am grateful but at the same time, he hasn’t taken things too far. I never go out to meet anyone. NEVER! He got mad at me for choosing to wear pants that he didn’t want me to wear. He got mad at me for choosing to walk on one side of the street. He got mad at me for keeping my hat on. He gets mad at things that don’t even make sense. He is pushing me to the verge of rebellion and then he tells me not to provoke him. Who is being provocative?! I”m done with it all.
Izabella on May 03, 2019:
Ye im 15 and this all fits into the category of my parents. I got bullied a bunch last year and then this year i finally have some amazing friends and my parents wont let me go to a sleepover because their will be boys, and ive told them im ace and they dont care. Im missing out on having these memories and my whole childhood has just been abuse from my mums ex and he is finally gone but its one thing after the other. I realise now my parents barely know me. They think they do but they dont. Being restricted from making decisions for my whole life has caused me to think of self harm and i feel like i dont belong anywhere cause im not getting the chance to know my friends and i know i can just go back to my old friend group but i dont fit in and id just be sad. My friends are my source of happiness and i only have 2 years left with them. Thats not long and when that goes away and ive been Pressured to be the most perfect child and never hang out with friends, ill have no stories to tell about highschool apart from my over protective parents. I get its because they love me but its not good and i feel untrusted and lonely. Should i feel this way? It feels wrong but i didnt know it was wrong till i resd this and heard about my friends parents. I wanna show them this page or get them to read it with me to try and understand
Emma on May 01, 2019:
Hi guys.. i'm 12, 13 in July... 3 months. So basically I have the same problem as u guys but i'm a few yrs younger. My parents aren't AS strict as ur guys ones but i'm still annoyed. Anyone out there who has the same problem of their parents being too strict... I hope u guys eventually get ur own freedom! So i'm allowed to go to the mall and stuff and have playdates but HOMEWORK MAN. Ugh don't get me started! So my mum basically plans my routine when my one is fine! I like my one more bc its made by me.. not her. I like being independent. I've said to my mum... homework isn't my passion. I don't want to be a mathematician or teacher when i'm older. I like music, and sports. I think I definitely NEED to do my homework.. but i'm 12. I DONT NEED TO DO 2 HOURS! I think 1 hour is enough for me and i don't like sitting down for AGES. If i don't do my routine the way my mum likes it... i'm not allowed playdates or going to the mall. I DO LOVE MY MUM! I just wanna put that out there! All my other friends think my mum is strict.. so i guess she is? I just need more freedom.. and she isn't giving me enough. I will find a solution if i keep trying.. i'm sure! I want all you guys out there to stay positive, like me!
Gummygummybears on April 29, 2019:
I'm 17 and wow all these things up there are just so true. I see myself not a super duper perfect kid, but i've never stayed out late (up to 10pm: almost every time i'm still out "that" late is because im going out for classical concerts with my teacher/parents/supervisor), i've always been having good marks and staying on good terms with my teacher cuz that's what my parents want, i've never gone out or dated someone properly for more than half a year cuz everytime i got a boyfriend my parents would freak out and do everything to make us broke up. Recently i've been asking them for permission to hang out with my two friends (they are both girls) to LEARN for the endterm test cuz they have been helping me so much in some subjects and i want to pay them back. I know it may seem weird to go out and LEARN for the entire day but the endterm test is coming and we really do have the intention to learn properly. But as expected, my parents didn't accept and to be honest, i'm quite disappointed. I've always try to be an optimistic girl, but after this happened, I really feel like giving up and be a good "doll" for them for the rest of my life. I have been refusing too much hanging out request that I can't even count. Every time my friends (only girls) ask me out to watch movies with them or just hanging out a day and take pictures, my mom would said I don't have time for such thing and compare me to other geniuses and made me feel bad about my marks and stuff. My friends stop asking me out and even when they don't leave me alone, I still feel bad for them to have such a terrible friend like me. But what really irritates me here is that they don't treat my younger brother the same. He is 12 and actually he has been hanging out with his friends quite recently ( not for too late but at least he got to hangout). Is it because he is a boy? I'm 5 years old older than him and far more responsible than him, but never in my life have my parents stopped blocking me in their cage and make me do exactly what they say "for my own goods". Every time i fight back, they would used the same reason all over and over again: I'm still not 18 yet and i should learn to have a better future. EXCUSE ME? I'm learning like hell over here? I've been learning piano for years and spend at least 3 hours a day to pratice, learning for SAT, IELTS, tests at both music school and my other school, and still my parents used this as a reason :). Well, sooner or later, I think I'll broke down in piece at this rate.
Detective on April 27, 2019:
Hie Guys i'm 21 and i really feel you. i'm also a victim of similar case, my Parents are over protective they treat me like 10 year old kid. They are after me always to such an extent i have no room for my own privacy. In as much as i'm introverted sometimes i really wish i can be as spontaneous. Whenever i confront them about other perspective of life with good points, i'm always sidelined they claim that i'm becoming disrespectful . At times i get yelled at for nothing just because i'm the first born, intimidated . Whenever i'm away from home i.e ( at college) i feel free and happy i wish school never close for holiday vacations. Whenever i'm at home i am never happy, free. Its like hell can't wait to leave and start my own life. I have been living with this for years now can't hold any longer its killing me inside. I have never given my parents any problems during my adolescence, neither i got in trouble . If this continues it result in resentment which in latter will to depression then death( suicide)
The Rebellion on April 12, 2019:
I'm 19 and experienced almost everything you all have experienced. Sheltered, guilt-tripped, verbally abusive, no support, etc. All the videos I watched here is exactly what I've been through. I'm going to college while living with my parents. They guilt-tripped me into staying in town so I won't go away. I wanted to go to UCLA with my boyfriend but they literally built an expensive ass home and gave me the best bedroom. They got me a car, wifi (we never got wifi before), and an iPhone Xr. They said that I was going to have college easy because I will get their support. Once college started, I felt trapped. I couldn't go out with the new friends I made (like omg I was actually making friends). But all that was taken away because I couldn't keep in touch with them. It was so hard to study because I was constantly asked to drop off my siblings, cook, clean pick them up, and much more. I decided to study at Starbucks instead of home and now they blame me for going out too much and that I'm not helping them at all. I'm a Psychology major and I have been doing so much research on parenting. I used to blame everything on me until I realized that it may possibly be my parents' fault. I get that parenting is hard, but after my older sister left on bad terms doesn't mean to be harder on the rest of the kids. I have learned from my older sister's "mistakes" and became the best daughter they could have possibly asked for. Top ten out of my high school class, best Asian daughter, great role model... but when I ask for one thing, I am the worst daughter in the world. I wanted to visit my boyfriend but they said no. I asked why and they didn't give me an answer. I know they care for my safety and want me to be focused in school, but I felt like I deserved to go on this trip. I have been building up my confidence to stand up to them and express how I felt, and I finally did it. But it all turned to shit. We were in nonstop arguments. They finally told me why they wouldn't let me go. They said that they didn't want my siblings to think that they could just do whatever they wanted. I called bullshit because what I saw was that no matter how hard we try to win their approval, we can't do anything. He said that I was trying to tear my family apart and that I hate them. I told him "hell no. I love you guys to death. look at all the sacrifices I made for you. Do I have friends? no. Do I do whatever you say? yes! I try so hard to be such a good daughter and why can't you see that I love you so much?" I saw the fear in my dad's face. I think he realized what has been forming and now he's giving me the silent treatment. I got my phone taken away, my keys are going to be taken away and no wifi. I literally have been so sheltered that I couldn't get a job. I don't even know how to. I was never given a credit card to build my credit so I can't take out a loan nor rent an apartment. I can't even get a call back if I do get an interview for a job, and if I do happen to get the job, I wouldn't even have transportation. My mom won't sign my financial aid papers so I doubt I'll get any money for college next year. I feel totally lost.
My boyfriend bought me train tickets so that I could have a place to stay. I am leaving today, but I know that I can't stay too long. When I get back home (don't even want to call it that) I'll probably get kicked out. I have no money, no place to stay, and no one to go to. I'm scared, but I don't want them to win. I want to prove that I can live on my own and support for myself while getting a degree. It's going to be one hell of a ride, but I have hope for myself. I give you all my love and best wishes. I aspire to be a counselor that helps kids go through what we have been going through and I hope that I'll help many of us. I'm sorry you are all going through this, but we can do it. I believe.
Zero on April 08, 2019:
Im 15 and my whole life my parents have been stubborn, never ever let me hang out with my friends in my whole life, control me with force, manipulating, quick to argue, quick to insult anybody and they hate everyone I talk to. I'm going through the hormone stage of puberty. I have a girlfriend secretly because my parents don't want me to have a girlfriend. I love her so much and they keep trying to find her so they can press charges on her but shes never done anything but be a good girlfriend. My parents have taken my phone around 7 times after going through my messages with my friends. We never did anything bad but send memes on instagram and play around and she hates it. Every Time i've had a phone it only lasts from a week to a few months and they take it for a few months to year. I cant deal with this anymore, my parents are so bad to me and don't ever listen or help me. Everytime i try to talk to my mom about my problems she turns it into an argument and screams at me at any chance she gets. I Hate it so much, I just want my parents to understand what i'm going through and just let me be happy. They are always shunning me and pointing out flaws that they caused, They only let me take showers once a week and if i drink water late I to drink unfiltered tap water. I just want to be free from this everyday hell. I want my parents to stop yelling at me for everything, I want them to let me have friends, stay with my girlfriend instead of me having to keep her from them, and I really need to be able to leave by myself instead of being trapped in my room 24/7 because im afraid to go downstairs around them and be left alone with them because they will find a way to get me to say something that gets me offended and then in trouble and i have to get yelled at and possibly lose my internet for a few months to a year. Please somebody help me
indian kid on April 02, 2019:
ok so yall I have indian parents ….. I don't even need to say anything else lmao.....so I don't have social media and I am not allowed to go out with my friends even when the mall is quite nearby. she insisted on her coming with us and walking around with us during the hangout..... my friend's birthday venue was a mall and I knew my mom would never allow that so I had to force my friend to keep a party at her house and that was very embaressing...… I was shifting my building and my friends insisted on one final hangout in the building clubhouse at 7pm when I told my mom about this she told me to return by 8 and I was clearl;y told by my friends that after playing bb in the clubhouse we'd party in one of my friend's houses until 10......honestly my life sucks......im not allowed to wear crop tops or off shoulders.... im not allowed to call my male (guy frnds)family friends "best friends" because having a guy frnd is a sin.....im not even muslim wth……...there are many rumours spreading based on me on Instagram by anonymous haters and even after knowing this I could never fight back cuz I don't have social media hats coz my momforced me to swear id never own insta without her knowing( acc. to indian stuff breaking a promise like this results in the death of my mom)…………...don't get me wrong I LOVE MY MOM but I really think that she should sometimes let me a little loose coz I think she thinks I smoke and I have a bf but honestly im lonely af ad very lost I life
sad indian girl who wanna die on March 24, 2019:
MY OWN PARENTS SUSPENDED ME FROM MY SCHOOL!!!!!!
so here is my life story y'all..oof i am 16 and i am almost a failure at everything that i do for example studying but the thing is that my parents r fucking over protective that they wont let me even have female friends and forget about even hanging out with friends without being my parents around me . ugh so i have a bf and i bunked my tuition class to go out with him as i can barely talk to him or meet him, which was an optional class to attend as it was a sunday. i planned it before hand in school as they took my phone away for having a chat with a guy friend of mine like about dank offensive memes like pewdiepie memes. we went to a nearby mall n hung out but i was really stressed about the fact that my parents may find out. it was 1 in the afternoon when i when i went out with him and returned back to my tuition center sharp at 4 as my dad was coming to pick me up from the classes. unfortunately even after so much of me being careful about the whole hangout thing the security guard saw me waiting at the tuition gate for my dad. he immediately called me upstairs and asked me in front of the teachers that why was i absent in the extra class. i made an excuse to them about me joining a dance class which was a floor below the tuition center . they all kinda doubted me but still let me go as my dad reached. as soon as i got into the car with my dad he got a call from the tuition center to ask why i was absent . FACT NO. 1 the tuition faculty never asked any child why were they absent for a class and this was not even a compulsory class like wtf. after that my dad asked me angrily "WHICH MALL WERE U AT , TELL ME THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I WONT BARE U ANY FURTHER'' . i was shaking and i knew what was gonna happen but i tried to convince him that i was at the class and the teacher may have made a mistake but ofcouse why would they believe me so easily. he took me back home and started beating me up and my mom asked anxiously WHY R U BEATING HER UP LET HER EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED. my dad took my mom to the coaching center to show her the cctv footage of the enterance gate of the tuition class so that she could be sure that i didnt even enter the center. after reaching back home from all that hustle i still tried my best to convince my parents that i didnt go to the mall with anyone as i didnt wanted my bf to get in any kind of trouble cos of me..
i lied to them saying that i had a period and i was in the washroom near my coaching center and i didnt have a pad so i sat on the toilet till it was time for my dad to pick me up and i wrapped tissues on my underwear in order to not get a stain until i reach home. but duh man how can they believe it ??? why would they even . even though i barely have a male friend and i am a tomboy still my parents think what not wrong thoughts about me. i was bared from attending even school until i told my parents the truth. anyways after 2 days i went to school after telling my parents the truth about me going out with a boy and a girl . i included a girl so that they wont think in any wrong direction. as soon as i reached school after my dad beating me up so many times before i sleep and i soon as i woke up , i talked to one of my female friend whose parents were chill n all she has freedom and she also went out with her friends a day before i went out .i knew my mom was about to come to my school to get info about the people i went out with n stuff ugh now that im typing this from my pc it makes me cry so bad remembering all this (all this happened in august 2018 ).i convinced my female friend to agree that she was with me .as soon as school got over i was called by the vice principle and the school counceller as my mom was there ready to get me suspended from the school with all the two of my friends. they all assumed bullshit about me and my friends and asked me if i had sent nudes to my bf. that councellor used to see me and my bf waling together during break time and exaggerrated it as if i walked with him all day and making my mom believe that i was dating him even though we barely used to be close even if we just walked around in school. that counceller said to that female friend of mine as she knew her very well that she will also get suspended if she was with me . she got scared and told her that i told her to say all this and that she wasnt with me at all.
At that moment , it all began. my vice principle said to my bf that she would slap him if he lied to her and he never lies so he told them the truth that we went for a normal hangout , walked around the mall and had some milkshake but im pretty sure they didnt believe this even though it was all true like for fuck sake.
wait if someone is reading this do u think that this was a matter of this concern like they made a huge issue of a pity thing.
me n my bf got suspended for almost a week from school for committing a ''MINOR CRIME'' as per the school law even though we did not bunk the school .
after that i had a major breakdown at home and cut my hair so bad that i had to get a boycut.
when i returned to school i wore a cap in order to hide my haircut.
still people found about the whole issue and were completely against the school staff and decision as this all happened outta the campus and the school had nothing to do with it.
oof im about to go into grade 11 and my bf was a year ahead of me and he failed 11th so he left the school.
this is so sad alexa play sad by xxxtentacion
ugh i mean if u r reading this may god bless u
even though its been almost 7 months after that hangout punishment my parents dont let me even touch any phone or electronic or let me have any friends female or male doesnt matter .
they made me go to the tuitions again n no one bothered to even ask me why i did what i did which was something good. but i was embarrased for the fact that my parents used to drop me to the class room like bruhhh .
finally i left those tuitions somehow as i was too tired to my dad scolding me all along going to the tuition n coming back.
big oof man my life sucks and ik even when ill be an addult my parents wont let me do any fucking thing out of there eyes so fuck my life and go enjoy every possible moment of ur life cos atleast your life isnt like mine .
sad girl on March 22, 2019:
i’m 13 almost 14 and i can’t do ANYTHING
i almost have NO social skills because my parents don’t let me go out with my friends (which are not a lot) i have no friends right now i asked my dad and told him about that and he said that it’s okay when he was a kid he didn’t have friends he was friends with books.
he’s controlling my phone he makes me play no more than two hours and i have no kind of social media except for whatsapp.
even when i want to download an app i have to ask his permission first it’s so annoying!!
when i try to tell him that i’m not a baby anymore and that i was responsible, he says that he’s trying to make me safe. i can’t even go to my friends HOUSE!!
i don’t even have youtube! i asked him and gave him reasons why i want youtube i’m my phone and he said no.
i’m allowed to do NOTHING!!
my parents only care about school and i’m not even allowed to use my phone after 8 o’clock.
Annoyed as hell teen on March 20, 2019:
I'm twelve, thirteen next year. my parents don't let me have friends, i can't go outside, i can't even draw. my grandmother doesn't let me. I am so annoyed. my mother is never around and is always with her boyfriend. they ae very religious jw's, and i'm not allowed to even associate with any person who isn't in the religion. my grandma hates me, but treats my brother like a god. he is always hugged and loved ad shit. but my parents basically keep me captive and force me to be friends with the stupid ass kids in the kingdom hall.
so fucking annoyed on March 12, 2019:
im 16 and a half and i am allowed to do nothing. i stay in my bedroom, my mum comes running up the stairs 'what you doing' 'get downstairs' this that. i used to self harm and mainly, because of this. the overprotectiveness these parents hold over me. i have a shit phone, im not allowed to get a new one, im not allowed to go on call with anyone- even if its my female friends, im not allowed to wear makeup to school, im not allowed to come home 10 MINUTES FROM SCHOOL, im not allowed to go to the corner shop, im not allowed to go eat with my friends or go out with them on the weekend, im not allowed to spend more than half an hour in my bedroom, im not allowed to go to prom, im not allowed to do NCS, im not allowed to go and buy myself a takeout, and the list goes on and on. long story short, im not allowed to do anything, and when i do do something, my mum rings my aunty and uncle straight to come and 'sort me out'. why cant i live a normal life? they turn the wifi off at 9;30 every single day and i have to give my phone. yet my older and younger brother can do what they want, they both have girlfriends and my parents know this but still let them go out wth their mates, keep their phone on a night, let them go on call with her etc etc etc but for me, the rules are so different. im not even allowed to look at boys. i hate it/ i hate where i live because i cant do anything. i wish i killed myself.
xxnobodyxx on March 08, 2019:
My parents hate my boyfriend. They always talk about him in a disappointed tone even though he's so polite and kind to them. They're constantly putting us both down. They even do that to my other friends always pointing out the negatives and never concentrating on good things, never acknowledging any successes. They stop me from meeting up with friends and always make excuses so I don't have to see friends or my boyfriend. If I get awards or good grades I don't tell them because I know they don't care. They're just going to tell me I need to try harder. They never say it, but their actions always tell me I'm not good enough, they don't like me, I'm stupid, worthless, etc. I want to die I hate living with them. If it wasn't for my boyfriend, I would've stabbed myself in the chest with that knife already. I don't want to deal with this any longer I want to end it all. I hate feeling like I'm worthless and that I mean nothing to my parents, I hate that they put down my friends too, it isn't fair to them. I want to run away but there's nowhere to go and I don't want to leave my boyfriend.
Fu on March 05, 2019:
This is TOOOOO FAR but i wanna KILL my parents
YeaIamATeen on February 13, 2019:
Welp my mom snatches my phone and scrolls around my phone like if she knew I would watch some type of innapropiate show or something but like not really I have the habit of turning my phone of because i feel like my mother will freak out around the dumb funny things i talk about with my friends.. and memes I don't feel free but after all I am only a teen so it's ok i guess my mother loves me and trys to take care of me but c'mon mooom don't be too nossseyy I just wanna raaaaant
Ellie on February 09, 2019:
I dont have much to complain about, but i just turned 17 last month. The morning after my birthday I got grounded and my phone was taken away for over a month. I finally got it back and I'm driving my car again because they confiscated that as well. I was Grounded For What seemed like longer than that so I feel like I'm still grounded even if I've had my phone for about 2 weeks now. I have a boyfriend that likes to party and drink occasionally and I want to get into that life just a little bit because I've been raised by mormon parents and I've been cooped up a lot for really stupid reasons. When a friend of mine moved out of state I didn't go outside anymore, I used to go to a local park with her and she is to come over a lot and she was the only person that got me outside. There's a lot of things that give me anxiety so it's not very easy to go outside and be able to interact with people without having a nervous breakdown. I wish my confidence would just get better. It is getting better as I grow up but I would like to be able to go places and be worry free. In the morning I have to go to church and ever since I turned 14 I've been steering away from the church more and more because I I have never felt God in my heart and things around me. My impression of the church is it's all bulshit and I want to stay away from it but they force me to go because they think I can still embrace it eventually and they think it's good for me which is really not because whenever I go I always return home in a bad mood and I stay like that till the next day. I hate church so much I hate Mormons I hate Christians. Everything to do with God feels like a hoax to me I can feel things around me that aren't Godlike or faithful. Everything has an energy in that's life and I don't think Church has anything to do with that. The church has nothing to do with what I see around a person. My life is just one big screw up I feel like my parents are never going to let me go to do what I believe is good. You can be a good person without going to church or having a relationship with God I have no relationship with "God" the fact that I have to dress up in a dress every time we go is ridiculous that's the part I hate most about it because I have to wear something that I can't feel comfortable in. I draw whatever I feel and usually I try really depressing things whenever I go to church to offend people around me that maybe look at it. I guess I'm just venting now because whenever I try to talk to people they don't know what it's like and they're out every week doing things that I could never dream of doing or getting invited to. I feel like those people would just think that I'm talking out of my ass because I have it good and they are struggling but the the privileged life isn't always the best if you want to have fun and be a teenager before you turn 21 and high school's over. Before you have to get a job I had innocent childish fun back then but now I'm ready to try new things and I'm ready to go places and I'm ready to meet people that are fun like that girl. It's just really frustrating because I don't know a lot of people. im too unexperiened to hang out with the cool crowd and I'm too fun to hang around the good kids
Random Girl who draws anime and stuff on February 03, 2019:
I’m just about 12, and my mum won’t let me do anything. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in my school walks to school on their own, or at least with a friend. Like, I’ve never even crossed a road by myself yet. And I know it’s at least a phone, but I only just got a NOKIA.
Sitting @ Home All Day on January 28, 2019:
I'm 11 (12 in a few months), so I'm quite a bit younger than everyone else here, but my parents are getting ridiculous. I can't ride my bike by myself, let alone go around the block, and I have no idea why. I only have to cross one street, I memorized the neighborhood, and nothing bad ever happens in my city. Apparently, I need a phone, which I don't have. And then, they say there's no reason that I need a phone, which is super contradicting. I can't even sell my art online to save up the money (which people have said they would purchase if I DID), because the answer is always "I'll talk to your mother/father", and I never hear from it again. I'm getting super sick and tired of it and most of the day I either spend trying to clean my constantly messy room (perks of sharing a room with your little sister), drawing, watching Youtube, or watching the rest of the kids get off the school bus and go to their friend's houses (I'm homeschooled btw).
Suffocated on January 23, 2019:
My mom has such high expectations and I actually live up to them (unlike my sisters), but I still am not allowed to do anything. I have stellar grades, have played piano for years despite the fact that I hate it, and play travel soccer. I just wish she would at least listen to me when I say I want something - if she could give me a legitimate reason to not do or get what I want then I would be fine with that.
I have a SUPER OVERPROTECTIVE mom on January 21, 2019:
I'm 13, and I have a little brother that is 10. My dad bought us bikes and honestly he doesn't care where we go or how long were there as long as we're back by 5. But my dad is usually at work or at a side job, and whenever we try to go somewhere my mom will stop us right away. We'll even tell her how my dad said it was fine, or how my dad even gave us money to spend whenever we're going. But my mom doesn't even like us playing in our own yard because "we could get hurt" or "it's not safe". but my dad is on our side and will ask us to ride our bikes somewhere to get milk or paper towels just to let us out of the house. Seriously even if it's literally 5 minutes away she'll come up with this big argument on how the world isn't a safe place, or she can't trust other people. I really wish my mom could be less overprotective and let us go places on our own some more. It's getting REALLY annoying
An annoyed teenager on January 17, 2019:
My parents aren’t such idiots they won’t let me go to the mall which is where everyone hangs out and they won’t let me watch any good tv because they say im not mature enough and yet they let my older brother whos only a year older do and watch whatever the heck he wants!!! IM so sick of them
a miserable 18 year old on January 09, 2019:
so my I'm the first born and when I was done with my highschool I thought that my parents will allow me to be but my mom has a lot of influence over my dad and one day I had taken my friend to the mall to buy a cake my mom was not home so when she came home she didn't find me and she called to ask where I was and I told her and immediately called my dad and told him that she came home and found me missing and she doesnt know where I am and my dad was so pissed and he came home and told me that the next time he hears any complain he takes my phone.Time went and another day thee of my female friends came to my place and one guy and my mom was home and to cut the long story short she told my dad that I turned her house into a dating site this really got my dad angry he bet me up and threw my phone down until it broke it was such a horrible experience. When any of my female friends come to my place I have to ask for permission mehn my life sucks!
person on January 08, 2019:
they don't let me go out, if I go to the mall with people and an adult they would still come and follow behind us. They simply say no to me, i am not sure why but they were never like this with my sister. And my sister is the one who is failing and does stuff behind their backs but never gets the punishment. I know life isnt fair and I know this isnt fair. I just want to live my life, they can meet my friends I am cool with that but they don't want to. But when I ask them to go out they say I don't know any of your friends which is pretty condradicting. I am bad at being social and this is one of the many reasons why. I am not allowed to do anything. I don't even buy my own clothes or use my own money because my parents don't let me or take me to use it. I should ask more but it will never work.
Someone who's trapped inside all the time on January 04, 2019:
i really just want to go outside
there's a circle.
it starts with my mum being like why aren't you outside
then i say can i go outside
she says no
i go back on my computer
the cycle repeats
u dont need to know my name on January 02, 2019:
im lucky my parents are divorced cos i can see my dad every other weekend and he lets me do whatever the hell i want cos he knows how difficult home life is with strict and constantly worrying my mum. im also lucky that i have friends who try and arrange things with me so its on a weekend when im with my dad. i get the impression that my mum us trying too hard to be a good mum. my dad told me that when they were having arguments before they divorced that he told her that "his life at home was too stressful and he didnt agree with the way she wanted our family to be", she apprently responded with "ok then, i must try harder to make our family happy". i think a good mum or dad is one who doesnt expect the very best of you all the time and is realistic about your actions and your friends. most of these overprotective parents (like my own) are the ones who read that propaganda which somehow gets into papers etc. theres not much you can do in the real world about overprotective parents apart from trying to discuss their actions with them. if they start trying to turn the conversation against you and start shouting then dont give in but look blankly at them instead and respond with how they might be wrong. your friends and people around you will understand the situation and will support you through this. it is wrong that people like myself and all of you have to live like this as it is holding us back from achieveing basic like skills and social skills. i know youve heard it all before but im gonna say it anyway, i consequently suffer from depression. another example of overprotective parents is not letting you go out and socialise with friends. a common response is that it is dangerous to let you go out by yourself as "there are all sorts of nasty people out there". i seriously doubt theres somebody out there trying to attack groups of kids having a good time. also, wtf if an overprotective mum gonna do in that situation? ask politely for him to leave us alone? basically just do what you want sometimes. i might just walk out of the house one day and come back a few hours later, wot r they gonna do about it. if theyre going to ignore me and what i want to do then im gonna ignore them.
A seriously annoyed person on December 30, 2018:
I just wrote a two page essay stating three reasons why I should get Instagram (she said she’d let me get if I came up with three good reasons) and guess what her response was... “It’s very well-written but still no.”
A seriously annoyed person on December 30, 2018:
My mom literally ignores me whenever I ask her for anything she doesn’t approve of. She’s gone so far as to walk out of the room while I am speaking. That’s not ok if I were to do it. I’m so done
Anh Doan on December 22, 2018:
Ever since I told my mom that I have a boyfriend, she became really strict me. She is constantly checking on me and also doubting me. I thought that telling her I have a bf she would have some trust in me because I want her to know and not hiding it. I thought she would be proud. I know she is just trying to protect me but she never gave me the benefit of the doubt. She always think that once I have a boyfriend I will drop out of school, which is clearly not because I have still manage to balance my love life and my education and my grades are pretty high. I hope my mom will start to understand me more. Sometimes she made me not wanting to tell her anything anymore.
Katie on December 11, 2018:
My mom is just crazy on trying to find every possible little thing to try and get me into trouble so that her excuse tp say no is that I am grounded. My friend and I were trying to study together. we both do our study guide by our selves and when we are done we check answers with each other. it not a grade, we get NO credit for completing this study guide (its not an assignment) but she insists that I am trying to cheat and copy someone else's question when I clearly did mine by my self and was just checking answers. she wants to get my friend in trouble and tell my teacher that I was cheating. What should I do if she wants to ground me all the time? I Have Rally good good grades, the best they have ever been actually, so she finds something else to pick at. it really discourages me and now I don't even want to study.
Alexis on December 11, 2018:
My dad is fine, but both my dad and step-mom are Christians. My step-mom will not let me do anything outside of the house, and the longest I can be on my phone is an hour. They also track my text messages, I mean, I get not texting guys, but still this is... ugh i don't know. I am pan(romantic) but they don't know because I know my stepmom would never let it go. I have only been to a friend's house once and that is because she was in choir with me. I have a school computer that I use for anything. My dad checks my computer history, and I am not able to erase it. My parents don't trust me with anything and the only place I am allowed to go(ever) is my grandparent's house. I also have two brothers, both older so I guess part of it is that they(my parents) don't want my brothers to feel left out, but I am the one being left out. Whenever they do anything fun outside of the house I have to go to my grandparent's. I am 14, so moving out is not an option yet. What do I do? Please someone help. No one at school is willing to help me.
Kid on December 05, 2018:
I’m 17 year old and my dad literally doesn’t let me go anywhere if i do want to go somewhere it has to be school related or I can leave with friends some place else but be home by 7 which is like no time to do anything it’s funny Because I just turned 17 couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden I have all these rules it’s frustrating because I really do want to go out with friends and he doesn’t trust me he thinks I’m going to do bad things when I’m just going to go watch a movie or go eat. I’m at the point where I have to lie where I’m going I stay after school saying I’m at Tutoring but I’m actually at my friends house. I don’t like lying but I don’t have a choice I tried having a talk with him telling him I’m old enough to take care of myslef but nothing
Nic on December 05, 2018:
I just turned 23 and had already graduated college. It is depressing whenever my friends would ask me to hang out, just talk or eat out or sometimes drink a little. My friends were good people, smart even, i had friends who are student leaders and one is even a cum laude. I've never had a night out and they wouldnt allow me to sleepover even with my longest and closests friends. I don't even get to go out on hikes or outings because I wasn't allowed. I am too tired to ask and explain because they dont even try to understand me.
Ben on November 27, 2018:
My Mom and dad are very overprotective it can become a huge problem my parents never allowed me to go out with my friends in middle school and becuse of that I have littel friends, and the biggest problem of it all. I now have very littel social skills and get nervous around alot of people especially around girls am 18 now , I have an car and drivers licence, and my parents dont alow me to go to friends even if they live around the block from me, Relationships has also become a problem becuse its a real struggel to convince them that i want to go see the girl in person , becuse of that my Relationships never work out :( I feel caged up as am not even allowed to leave the house I tried talking to my parents and did not help as they always have there way to say no to everything I want to do . Becuse of all this problems am very insecure and have very littel social skills with people and struggel to get an girlfriend as am not allowed to even go see her . Pleas help me
Anonymous on November 26, 2018:
I am 22 and still my parents try to control everything. I am independent. Despite this. What do I do?
Sarah on November 23, 2018:
I’m 15 and my mum won’t let me go out shopping with my friends. She says if I want to go she has to drive me up there and walk around with us!!! Its so annoying because I’ve been to the mall like 100 times but I can’t tell her because then I’d get the lecture of safety and everything. She’s literally smothering me like I ever get any space from her. And whenever I bring it up she just goes “I’m just trying to keep you safe” I don’t know what to do! I’ve tried all the things in this article and they’re just not working
Anika on November 18, 2018:
Hello.. I m in a big trouble.. My parents doesn't allow me to go outside.. I live in a very small village where colleges are not available.. I have studied up to 10th.. My dad is very stricted and he doesn't allow me to go out side some big towns or cities for study.. I want freedom.. I talked with him a lot of time.. He doesn't allow me to do anything.. He says only learn how to cook.. That's it.. I can't fulfil my dreams my hobbies.. Please help..
Stella on November 16, 2018:
My parents are really overprotective, to the point where I sometimes lie to them about things, such as telling her I'm going to the nearby park to exercise, but in reality, I'm just there to meet and hang out with my friends. Even so, they think that it is not safe for me to go there "alone" just because it's an "open" area, and I could be abducted or some stupid piece of shit thoughts they have. And I know they're trying to protect me, but this is too much. They can't even trust me to walk to the park myself, in the afternoon, and that park is always filled with people, and mostly people I know. Like, if I get abducted, it's my fault. And only I am to blame. But the fact that i need to lie to them to do something just shows that history is repeating itself. My mother used to lie to my granny all the time to play with her friends, maybe now it's my turn to do so. I totally get how you feel girl, its always " When you cming back? Who is that? Who you hangin with? Boys? How many times have I told you not to hang out with them?!
john on November 11, 2018:
This helped me a lot with my English task for school about writing a text about this subject! thanxx
Anonymous on November 06, 2018:
Ok 1 is it bad that im only 13 and 2 ive been trying to do all of this and it isnt working. Yes my perents arent as strict as all of your perents but still they wont let me do anything really like my mom has to know their perents. Please help
mm on October 31, 2018:
my mom is always checking everything i do she does not trust me at all.
anonymus on October 29, 2018:
I'm turning 16 soon and my parent's strictness has not changed, no going out with friends unless my mum has been friends with their parents for at least 2 yrs, only close friends birthdays(my friends don't even bother asking me if I want to go out anymore), after a lot of arguing, no sc until yr 12 ( gonna have to find a way to hide that ). Must read through all msgs, know who, when and what I'm texting and basically, I can't do anything. If I'm seen on my phone for 1 second ( which btw is broken now and won't get fixed in forever), she suddenly snatches it from me and checks everything and says I'm on it too much and when I get good grades as well, if I'm seen talking to the opposite gender she always asks me about it, unless they are good family friends from like 5 yrs ago, shes only looking out for me but just let me live a little bit pls?. I don't go partying or get drunk (like some ppl my age) when I had snapchat I just put pictures of the sunset or my drawings, never add strangers, so basically I've never done anything wrong or bad. If your reading this first of all thank you for reading my comment, if u also have strict parents that won't lay of your back, just wait it out and be patient and trust me I've been doing it my whole life and I still have so much more time left to wait. The kids with the strictest parents are the best at hiding, just don't hide anything bad from them that would hurt them, have a good day!
A.N on October 23, 2018:
I am turning sixteen on December sixteenth. I don't go out, i don't hang out with friends, I don't go anywhere with out my mother unless it is a field trip with friends, I can't even go out or sleep over my cousins house for gods sake! I was home schooled my ninth grade year because I had to help her with my new born baby brother and that made me very antisocial. I am a tenth grader right now and I still haven't seen any changes!!! I am sick and tired of living with this lady. She judges all of my friends too! Just about four days ago I went to a football game and she had an attitude about me going because she didn't know who I was going with. While I was waiting I went up the street to pickup some Chinese food before the game and she flipped the fuck out. My mom is a Jamaican woman and already they're very strict and old school. My friends parents are very strict and do not do half the stuff my mom does!!! I used to get asked to go to parties, brunch, malls, etc to the point where I stopped making excuses and blatantly said no myself. She wonders why I don't want anyone to know her and meet her. I am embarrassed of her ok? She embarrasses me so much it becomes disrespect out in public. I just want to turn eighteen and be able to do what I want. She told me once I turn sixteen more leeway will come. My bedtime is the same as my eleven year old sister(which is 8:30) is bullshit like what the actual fuck?! She took away my phone because she was "searching for a picture I took with my brother" and saw my close friend and I text messages. Yes I talk about inappropriate things, but the difference is I am not the one doing it. I am the person to help my friends with their problems and is very open to every topic that is introduced in a new conversation. She wants my social media, my only social media which is Snapchat, to go through my messages and pictures. I don't have anything inappropriate on there that is about me but the conversations with people are about different people that have done wrong. Every time I talk to her about it it is always "you lie to much. That's why I cannot trust you." My mom does not even make an effort to trust me because she is so paranoid with her little piece of shit thoughts. My mom and I are the same sign, Sagittarius, and she rebelled the same way to her parents because they were strict pentecostal christian parents which got her kicked out of the house. And she wonders why I am acting this way, I do not like being told no especially when it does not make sense to me. I literally cry to myself because it is too much to think about where I have been told has given me a minor type of depression. She's even scared for me to have male friends. But to wrap this up I hate my life and my mothers strict ways. Anyone want to switch parents?
Natalie on October 19, 2018:
This is so meeee. I wanted to go to a football game with a friend tonight so we carpool and my friend took me their we had a great time then my mom came and realized that there wasn’t a parent there with us (this was a town game with many close friends) so she wouldn’t let us leave her sight until my friends dad came ughhhhhhh. She totally embarrassed me
H .k on October 07, 2018:
I am 20. Still my mom not allowed me a phone ,she doesn't understand me she always used to scold me because of her over care . I don't know what to do
Unknown on October 06, 2018:
My mom just dosent trust me at all I can never really do anything like just recently My boyfriend broken up with me because I can never leave my house she’ll never let me go places my self with my friends or I can’t go places without a family member coming with me.
K on September 23, 2018:
I’m 18 and my mom won’t allow me to do anything. I can’t even go to the movies with friends and I literally live 5 mins away from the theater. Everytime she sees me on the phone with my boyfriend she calls me to do something then try to hang the phone up. My dad allows my boyfriend to come over but she gets mad if we even step outside or sit beside each other in the couch. He’s willing to take me anywhere I want to have fun because she can not afford it but she refused no matter how excited I am about it. I wanted to go to my prom after party but she refused to send me. I literally cried and begged her but she insisted that I would be out too late and she won’t be able to sleep until I get home and she’s not losing sleep because of some silly party. She promised me when I’m 18 I’ll be allowed to go out but now she’s changing everything. She keeps saying I look sad whenever she looks at my face but I’m afraid to tell her she’s the reason I’m sad I rather not hurt her feelings. I just need her to give me my space
ano on September 22, 2018:
I hate this so much I want more freedom to go outside and hang out with friends Not getting whatever I want and staying at home