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How to Go on After the Loss of Your Mother

Updated on November 18, 2015

Your mother is your first friend and playmate. She’s the one who rocked you as a baby, patched you up as a clumsy kid, and eased your heartaches as a teen. She helped you plan your wedding and coached you on the ins and outs of being a first-time mother. In a sense, your mother is the biggest part of your life. This article is about dealing with the loss of this woman.

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose your mom. I’ve had many friends throughout the years who have lost their own mothers. I felt sad for them and offered words of comfort. I cooked lasagna and bought cards to help my friends “get through” the grief. I had absolutely no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother with you.

No matter what I write in this article, if you haven’t lost your mother, you won’t fully understand the depths of grief one goes through. The pain is crippling, and it hits you at random moments. One minute you might be fine, and the next minute you are curled up in a ball on your bedroom floor in inconceivable pain. If you have lost your mother, then you’re probably sitting there nodding your head in agreement.

"The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her."

— Author Unknown

My Loss

How I miss this.
How I miss this.

My mother passed away on September 18th, 2011. She had suffered with lung cancer for the year and a half prior to her death. Her suffering was long and difficult for everyone. We all knew Mom was going to die. In fact, there came a point when we were praying for God to take her and end her suffering.

I thought I was prepared for Mom’s passing. I’m an educated, intellectual woman. I read all the books on death, dying, and grief. I knew it would be hard, but I figured I was ready to face it head-on. After all, losing a parent is a fact of life that millions of people before me have faced. Mom was very brave and was ready to die. I was going to be brave too. I thought I would grieve for a while, and then I would be able to move on with life. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

The following is based on my experience. Your experience might be completely different, but I’ll bet most of you can find some similarities between my experience and yours.

Coping With Grief

• Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

• Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

• Remember Your Mom

• Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

• Find Your Peace

• Smile and Live Your Life

You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.
You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.

The first few days after your mother dies are going to feel like a blur. You will function only in that you will make funeral arrangements, contact relatives, console family members, and go forward taking care of necessary tasks. Numbness is the perfect word for this time. The funeral will come and go, and so will the relatives and well-wishers.

After the burial, it’s time for life to go back to normal, right? Wrong! Life will never be normal again. It will be different, but it will never be as it was. How could it be?

For the first few weeks, your friends and coworkers will be wonderful. They’ll offer you lots of smiles and hugs. They’ll offer to take you to dinner and they’ll listen as you talk about how bad the pain is. You’ll hear a lot of “I’m here for you”, and “If there’s anything I can do” comments during this time.

After a couple months, it will seem like people have forgotten that you lost this important part of your life. They’ll stop asking how you are, and they might even look worried when you want to talk about your mom. You see, people who haven’t gone through this pain think there’s a period of grieving and that's it. After a certain time, you should be ready to move on with your life and "get over it."

But you will never get over it. The pain will lessen, and the moments of intense grief will be farther apart, but how can you ever get over losing your mother?

Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.
Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.

Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

Well-intentioned people will try to speed up the grieving process for you. They’ll try to keep you busy, and some of them won’t mention your mother’s name for fear of hurting you. But you must allow yourself to grieve. If you try to stay busy and put it out of your mind, it will catch up to you. You’re going to feel it at some point. It’s best to let it happen when it happens.

After Mom died, I tried to push away the grief. Any time I felt like falling apart, I would take deep breaths and get busy with something else. This worked for a little while, but not for long. The pain was not going away, and I needed to feel it. One night—two months after Mom’s death—I was sitting at the dinner table with my husband and children. The kids were talking about their day, and I was trying to actively listen. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I knew what it was, but was trying to ignore it. You see, grief is a very physical thing. You literally feel physical pain. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I got up and ran to my bedroom. My husband gave me some time alone. When he finally came in to check on me, I was curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. After that night, I learned to allow myself to feel the pain. I didn’t ignore it anymore.

Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.
Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.

Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there's no set time limit on the process.The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is not entirely accurate, but not entirely inaccurate either. I don't know if the wound of losing a mother is ever healed. The pain does get more bearable over time. But how long it should take? No one can say.

Five months after my mother passed away, the parent of one of my students died. I knew this man well, and I wanted to help my student. I planned to go to the funeral, but then the day before, I realized I couldn't do it. I hadn't been in a funeral home since Mom's wake, and I nearly hyperventilated just thinking about it. I told a friend I wasn't going, and she became aggravated. Her words were, "Your mom died in September. Don't you think it's time you moved on?" I probably don't have to point out to you that this woman's mother is still very much alive. I'll be honest, I felt like something must be wrong with me. Why wasn't I able to move on? Now, I realize that I was still grieving. I wasn't following any timetable, and it was okay.

Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.
Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.

Remember Your Mom

That heading sounds silly. Of course, you're going to remember your mom. She was your mom! What I mean here is that you should remember your mom for who she was—the good and the bad.

I spent months remembering my mom as this perfect human being who was, by far, the greatest mother who ever walked the earth. Mom was a wonderful person, but let's face it, she's was human. After a few months, I started having memories of the real mother I grew up with. She wasn't perfect, and we didn't always get along. Mom had a knack for being negative toward me, and I wasn't always patient with her. Putting Mom up on a pedestal wasn't fair to her, and she would've hated it.

Yes, remembering the bad times isn't always easy. Regret may rear its ugly head, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You can't push it away, because like the grief, it will find you. As they say, it is what it is. My mom knew I loved her dearly, and I knew the same about her. We didn't have the perfect relationship, but in the end, I was there by her side. I watched as she took her last breath, just as she watched me take my first. She was my mother. The good, the bad, and the ugly ... she was my mother, and I loved her.

Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.
Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.

Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

It's now been a year and a half since Mom passed away. I miss her dearly, especially when I go visit my Dad. I hold up pretty well, though. I can laugh and smile as I tell my kids something Mom used to say when I was a child. I can crank up her favorite songs and sing as loudly as she would. I would say, I'm doing pretty well.

Some days are tougher than others. One reason I wrote this article is that yesterday was a particularly rough day for me. I woke up craving my mother's voice. I wanted to call her and hear her laugh. I wanted her to make me laugh. Mom had the best sense of humor of anyone I've ever known, and I needed that yesterday. I cried several times yesterday, and it was okay. I let myself feel the grief again. Those days will come, no matter how long it's been. Let it come.

Do the things you enjoy.
Do the things you enjoy.

Find Your Peace

People find comfort in different things. For some people, taking a walk helps. For others, a long, hot bath does the trick. The important thing is not WHAT you do, but that you do something for you.

There may be songs, smells, or images that bring comfort to you as well. For me, it's the sight of a hummingbird. This was Mom's favorite animal, and she had several items around her house with the tiny creature on them. During one of the darkest moments of my life—Mom's funeral—a hummingbird flew to the window of the church and lingered there for a minute. I have caught glimpses of hummingbirds a few times since then, and it they have brought me great peace. Silly? Maybe, but you find whatever works for you. Don't let anyone diminish those moments. I truly believe they are meant to help us.

Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.
Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.

Smile and Live Your Life

At some point after your mother's death, you will find reasons to smile again. I think this is one of the greatest things we can do to honor our moms and the love we have for them. Find joy again. Laugh heartily. Love deeply. Live like your mother would want you to.

On those days when you just miss your mom, don't fight it. Allow yourself to miss her. A wise friend of mine said, "Your mother deserves to be remembered. She deserves to be missed."

Find the Support of Others

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      Vijay 12 hours ago

      Dear friends,

      this situation is worst for a man or woman to coup up with after death of his or mother.In my case I being the last member of my family knew the impact on the death of my mother on 31.10.1988.

      On 30th Oct was the last time i saw her and left for work.I had separated from my family consisting of my 1st ,2nd & 3rd Elder sister and mother.Though she had a heart attach she was on medication.It was my mistake I shouldnt had left her.I had Rs 1000 and she asked me if i could give her 1000 rs I told I will bring it next day.But I didnt knew that would be the last time i would see her.After lunch a call came from home saying mom passed away.I cried in front of my boss and many other colleques.I mmediately i asked for cash withdrawal against cheque I withdrew the cash of Rs 1000 meant for hospital admission ( actually I had reserved this money to purchase a small black & white TV but as per God's command this money came of use for paying for her last journey) for cortage.

      After all was over I went to my house where we lived.She use to sit on a dining chair but after her death I felt she was still sitting on that same chair.I butsted in uncontrollabe painfull situation my wife was not beside my side I dint mind I cried and cried deep from the bottom of my heart my crying could be heard below and they asked why Vijay is crying so lould I was continously saying I want amma I want amma.

      I felt half my life was over.

      According to me If mother dies half the life of a person is over and when wife dies full life is over.

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      Mark 2 days ago

      Lost my mom 3 months ago....my mom trusted my sister and husband the rewrote her will took power of attorney and robbed all her money credit cards retirement account and Home.....mom came down with lung cancer and they didn't even tell her took her out of her home sold her home took all her money dragged her to Florida put her in condo they inherited 10 years ago from my sisters husband mom they robbed and killed as well .......as they use my moms money to fix up house scum bag husbAnd bought on water and my mom dies 4 months later ......no funeral wake or nothing for the best woman in earth .....worthless police sheriff adult protection services should all be prosecuted by FBI along with my piece a shit sister and husband for grand larceny and premeditated murder of my mother......I flew to Florida from NY to say goodbye to my Mom behind glass window in a warehouse for 15 minutes before she was lit on fire to destroy evidence of all the drugs they kept feeding her .......this is a fuckin crime and my mother deserves justice .....to say I'm devastated is an understatement....

      My sister and husband need there heads handed to them fuckin low lifes......don't talk to anyone unless they lost their mom .....or their lack of emotion and insensitivity will piss you off .....I love and miss you my mother Mary....I tried warning you and protect you from those 2 filthy animals you where deceived by .....you just wouldn't listen to me for 8 years and now your gone ....the pain is beyond words .....it will never leave me until Jesus comes back and makes everything right and judges every wrong ...Amen

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      Copping 2 days ago

      I lost my mom just about 1 year ago. Reading this article had the Water Works going. It was hard that day and it's still hard today. I will think of all of you and pray that we can all deal with our pain.

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      Sad 3 days ago

      I lost my mom May 2013 i thought i would be over it by now but I'm not she was my mommy we did so many things together I miss that so much now I'm wondering if you ever get over it are do you just learn to deal with it because I'm not over it by a long shot

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      Michele Medina 3 days ago

      I lost my mother three weeks ago and man it is so painful I can barely function. I just want to scream and say "Why?????" You know it's inevitable that your parents will pass away, but man when it happens, it's like "What the ..." I miss my mother so much that I would do anything to have her back.

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      Coretta Johnson 3 days ago

      I lost my mom 4-13-15 and brother 6-15-15. My daughter told me to stop talking about their death and move on. This was tragic loosing my brother to a wrong way driver. We never recovers his brain, it was gone. Why can't she see why this hurts so bad. My mom died to neglecting docters. But, their gone. I've started having seizures, and it hurts like he'll. Someone tell me how to explain the pain to my daughter she's 22yrs old.

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      jacqueline mg nielsen 5 days ago

      i lost my mom just 2 weeks ago..its so hard!!

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      Peggy Sioux 5 days ago

      No matter how old we are I don't think we're ever prepared. I lost my Daddy in 1998 and my mother almost two years ago. Yes most days I function like the mature capable nearly 50 year old woman that I am. Yet I still have times when I will curl up on my bed and cry like a small child. Oh how I miss them both.

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      Lisa 5 days ago

      It's almost 4 months since my mom passed, and it still doesn't seem real. I miss her so much.

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      Bobby 5 days ago

      I lost my mom a week ago....I miss her

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      HEMALATHA VARADHAN 6 days ago

      No one can replace mother in this world

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      Thnkr917 8 days ago

      I lost my mother tonight, suddenly. I've already gone through stunned and numb and breakdown and back to stunned again and I haven't even got on the flight back "home" yet. Little thoughts like "why didn't I save one of those messages she left me, now I'll never hear her voice again". puts me into tears. I have to deal with this by myself. My son is holed up in his room, dealing in his own way, I guess. We are across the country from our family. We didn't always get along, but boy I never thought it would hurt this much.

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      Broken 8 days ago

      My daddy died of cancer on May 22 2017 . My momma died exactly 3 months later of a massive heart attack while visiting my Daddys graveside for his Birthday I am just numb I feel empty and broken.

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      MomsFavGrl 8 days ago

      I lost my mom almost three months ago and the pain runs so deep. My dad passed just 2.5 years ago and I'm an only child so no one feels my pain. I reached out to a grief counselor but never received a call back. I'm a newlywed whose marriage is going downhill and I also have a child with a disability. Life is so hard and through it all I could always depend on my mom. She was my very best friend, my everything and I knew she loved me in life but in death I see how she dedicated her life to My daughter and I and that fills my heart. I feel my relationship with God getting closer and I know that's something she always wanted. I never imagined that I'd be in my early thirties without parents... The thought really breaks my heart, but then I think of young children who lost their parents. I thank God for the great times we shared and they are all trophies and bakebadges of honor to me. I'm not afraid of death anymore. Life is different. It will never be the same. I love you Mom.

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      Ilovemymom978 10 days ago

      I lost my mom July 20th 2017, mom was sick with COPD was on oxygen, and was always in pain. She was on pain meds for over a year. Her Copd progressed breathing got more and more difficult walking became less and less in and out of the hospital for 6 months at least 1 time a month 4 months in a row. Every time she went she got X-rays nothing really show mulitable times. Than begining of June Drs told her they saw couple spots in different areas of her body. Wanted her to do a biopsy in her liver, asked if she wanted to do it she said yes, I told her I'm moving in with her and going to help her get around and she's not going to be alone found my dog a home moved all my things into storage and began my journey with her my mom new I was trying to get everything done I was filled with pain stress a lot of feelings my mom new it she saw it in my eyes everyday it was a struggle to be there and get everything done at the same time I love her with everything inside of me and doing what I was doing was a choice I made I promise I made to us both her health was failing, than her dr because she was in and out of the hospital messed up on the amount of pain peds mom ended up being rushed into the hospital and was put on life support. I spoke to the dr told them everything and head my moms hand asked her if she wanted off the machine she was uncomfortable with that thing down her throat. I asked her if I took her off if she would be strong for me she said yes I took her off she was strong took her home days later we were out and about shopping as much as I could as much as she could with her energy and breathing problems, they increased her pain medication it was than became to much for her little body she would take it and not be able to get up she needed to take that from Friday to Monday till I could get her to the office so we could change it, 3 days she was out of it Monday came she didn't want to go and it was like that for a couple weeks hard to even get her up to go to the back room she started retaining water in her angled she wanted a medical bed she made me promise she would stay in her bed no more needles no more nothing she made me promise no morphine I promised night after night praying for a miracle it never came I wasn't able to keep that promise. To her, in the morning of the 18th my brother made it so 911 came, while in the ambulance they started to put her on life support while in the hospital there is 2 types of life support on that a forced mask placed on her face or the tube they wanted the tube I said no do the other one so they did, she made it. They were poking her as she made me promise no more her potassium was too low sugar was too low but in a couple of hours her color was getting better but then the doctor came in and told us that she would probably never get off that mask and that she would probably die within 12 hours, that we should do care and comfort which was morphine, I begged to let me take her home they were against it! I than told the drs they were wrong I'm taking her off the mask please have the oxygen in the bag and she will breathe on her own again so for second time I held her hand and asked her again if I could take her off and if she would be strong and she said yes and she did and she was breathing with just the oxygen again, dr told us she is suffering and we need to know that her organs are failing and at this point icu and drs said care and comfort was the right thing! I wouldn't do it my brother made the choice to do it. I wasn't happy she's only 63 and told me she don't want to die and this wasn't real to me next thing we are in a room and the morphine started my mom lived 2 full days on morphine passed on the 20th in all the ways she's fears and didn't want all because I didn't tell 2 ppl to back off my mom told me "where there is a will there is a way" my brother held the WILL from me till the day after she passed and on the WILL MY MOM MADE ME Number one health care proxy durable power of attorney and power of attorney she told me where there's a will there's a way for a reason if I had had that well my mother would still be here today I will live with this regret for the rest of my life. I hope my brother has to answer for his part and I pray my mom know I tried to the best I could!

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      Tricia 11 days ago

      My mom went to heaven. It will be 3weeks ago this Wednesday. I cry a lot. Walking by her place, seeing her church, when I go to the store and see cards for mom. Its really hard. But I have to allow myself to feel the pain. .

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      Harris 8510 11 days ago

      I lost my mother February7th 2017 she was my best friend I was her baby boy at 46 years you turn into a child all over again when you loose your mother. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer December 9th 2016. Grief is like a roller coaster. I thank you for this support group. I am lost without my mother I tried to work and stay busy and that ended up being a crash and burn out. I was wondering am I the only person that feels like a part of me is gone with my mother. Sometimes life is just a blur I take it day by day. I thank you for this outlet. Maybe my words will help someone else along the way.

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      Shaun 11 days ago

      My mom died this Saturday and don't know any feeling to word. I was at her home stherings more things for er spitsl stsy. To make her more comfortable and happy. I stopped at home and recieved a callthe she in cardiac arrest. I did not get tho say bye or i love you. I shouldve been better to her.

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      Tsh 12 days ago

      My mum passed on 13th july 2017, just over a year since my father died. She would have been 62 now. Life is hard especially because i was the last born and only girl. She was my everything. Im still studying and i feel so sad because both my parents died before i could fulfill all plans i had for them. Its hard..

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      Nur 13 days ago

      I lost my dear mom in Nov 2016. She was my best friend, we were always talking on the phone. She had ovarian cancer / sufferred a lot. I still feel numb, I cant stand not having her around. I am keeping myself busy. I miss my mom. I am so lonely without her.. thank y for sharing

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      Era 2 weeks ago

      I lost my mom 15 days back in an accident.. People are saying that it was destiny.. But I know it was not. She was supposed to be alive.. Supposed to be with me.. I miss her talks.. I miss her love, her warmth, her touch, her laugh, her smile.. I want to hug her, kiss her and tell her how much I love her.. I want her back..

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      Clinton 2 weeks ago

      Dan, you will be reunited in heaven. That is how I feel and that is what faith is all about. I lost mom on August 3, 2017, I am still grieving in my own way but I asked her to make me strong and she did. So be strong, make her proud and remember all the good things that she taught you in life, she would have it no other way. God bless you.

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      DanAlabam 2 weeks ago

      Well it has been a year since my mother passed away, after reading the last few entries I feel embarrassed as I was truly blessed to have my mother strong and healthy for the majority of my life. You were my best friend and the only person in this world who really cared for me. God Bless your soul mom, and thank you for being such a beautiful mother, best friend and for all of your love. By the grace of God I pray we will all be reunited heaven.

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      Jordan 2 weeks ago

      Thank you for making this article. It has been two and a half years since she passed away and I'm fourteen so it's pretty rough for me going to school without thinking of her. She was the love of my life until she died when I was 12 going on thirteen and when I woke up to see her lying on the floor that day I was shocked with fear and I tried to get over the pain but no matter how much I tried to hide the paid or run away from the truth it always found its way to get me. I just wish I would be able to see her, feel her skin, and hear her voice just one more time. But on the night before she passed away her last words were ¨I love you¨ and that meant everything to me. I wanted to find better ways to grieve or get over her death but nothing worked until I read this, so I want to say thank you for the article. It's a inspiration to people who have lost their mothers as I have.

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      molaligngirma79@gmail.com 2 weeks ago

      It is only 30 days since I lost my mom. she was 43 when she pass away...she is unique for me and even can't worth her all other 7 children like me...she suffered a lot because of me and in my childhood period, I was hyperactive and disruptive. I firmly disagree with my father and she was beaten, abused and punished for my mistake and I am the only reason for her to reside far from her parent and family. she died of stomach cancer and suffered for 2 years with out diagnoses and eventually she diagnosed for cancer and underwent unsuccessful surgery and in the following day she's breath stopped while she was proudly chatting about her recovery with my families at the hospital.I tried to cope up with taking GOD's word by reading the bible and passing my day at work and sleeping the night with my friends....currently, I am suffering by reading the letter sent to me while I was studying @college, it contains love, encouragement, and hope.the worst thing is @her final day, she called me to the hospital and asked me 2 sit on her bed and hugged me shaken my hands and told me many things and she was following me on her eye all the night ......now I feel low and depressed in my home @night....i feel very lonely....that is why I searched your web on the internet.........

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      Lisa 2 weeks ago

      I just lost my mom on Aug 11, 2017, I was there holding her hand when she took her last breath and she was there when I took my first breath...I miss her so very much and really there are times I feel so guilty, we had to put her in a nursing home and I truly believe she had no clue where she was, she did have COPD, and beginning stages of demetia. My dad made the decision to start giving her morphine every 2 hours and of course we knew what the outcome of that would be to follow, I agree with my dad and now I feel as though it is my fault she is gone, my mom was always a active and the last few years she had no quality of life whatso ever and my dad who is in his late 80's did everything he could to take care of her but finally he had to do what he had to do and put her in a nursing home where she died 9 days later. Today my dad is still grieving and will for a very long time they bascially grew up together so after being with someone for over 70 years it is hard to just move on and not grieve...so for all of those of you out there that haven't lost your mom please stay close to her and talk to her everyday, take 2 or 3 minutes just to call and say I love you, cause tomorrow is never promised. Now I am praying that my dad just understand that we love him and we are all here for him...I haven't called him in a few days and I really need to but I am at a lose for words I don't know what to say it is really hard for me and I want to be there for my dad and help him thru this, I lost my husband of 12 years and this month will be 21 years since he has passed, I know what it is like to lose a spouse but not one that I had for 60 years plus.

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      Isabell 2 weeks ago

      I lost my mom this May. In the first two and half months I cried every day and I felt I was living in a bad dream and I will just wake up. The pain is still very intense, I am just learning to live with it. I somehow feel that a part of me died with her. I just hope thst I will have kids and I can give them everything, just like my mother gave to me.

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      Chrissy 2 weeks ago

      My mom was killed 8-12-17 my best friend. Pain is incommunicable and my life is a mess. Everyone seems to be critical and the coments that go "well its tuff but what about your kids? .. they need their motther as well" make me feel horrible and shamed which only pushes more weight on the pile of messy feelings im carrying around, which then becomes like some horrifying self fullfilling prophecy that is difficult to bear. I thought i was doing pretty well i mean i was feeling quite astonished at my ability to pull strenghth that i never even knew i had actually untill I started hearing these things coming from concerend love ones and it was ridiculous at first it angered me. But now i cant seem to do anything right and now i feel like becoming something that may need to be for real concerened about, and that seed is sprouting very ugly roots that are cultivated by my fears. And now i feel ive made grieving take a back seat to my natural more comfortable self blaming and self hating self sabotaging mindset. But then i read this article and it helped thank you. It helped a lot.

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      Bhuvana 2 weeks ago

      I lost my mom on the 8th of April 2017. It has been 4 months now and the whole period is seeming blurry.She always wanted to see me achieve something in life so I decided to do my masters in psychology despite of all the difficulties..I really pray that she find peace and look after my father and me and help me build myself..

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      Kayla 2 weeks ago

      I lost my mom on 08/13/17 and its soo hard didn't expect to loose her soo soon, so everyday I am missing her and hurting looking for ways to find peace.

      -Thanks for sharing your experience.

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      Clinton 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mom on August 3, 2017. She was 92. I was her caregiver for the past 7 years plus since her health started to go down hill but I never regretted it and I would have done it again with no remorse whatsoever. She was such a sweet lady, I miss her very much. My younger sisters seemed to have been closer to dad but I was very close to my mom. They say that usually happens, boy's are attached more to their mom's and girl's more to their dad's and I think that is true. Before she passed, she and I had a one on one talk, she answered me only with uh ha and um's with a gentle hold of my hand and I asked her to be by my side and make me strong through this ordeal. She did! I believe that she is still with me, very close and I can feel her presence. Our family religious beliefs are very strong, I know that she is watching over us and hopefully I can get over the grief that I am holding within me to be let loose soon and have a happy life knowing that my mom will be always by my side. To her I say, "I love you, Mom". God bless.

      Your loving son.

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      Macada 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mum June 3rd, 2017. I think about her every day. I was her caregiver for 4 years and the last 9 months of her life I had to put her in a nursing home. I went to see her every morning. I went and saw her the morning she died, she was not conscious but they told me hearing was the last sense to go, so I leaned over and spoke my final good-byes in her ear and kissed her cheek several times as I was speaking to her. Then I left the room and about 10 minutes later then nurse came and told me my mum just died. I believe my mum heard my final words to her and she felt free to go.

      I feel so much physical and emotional pain sometimes I wonder if I will make it. There is such a huge void in my life. I want to get past the guilt of putting her in a nursing home so I can focus on all the happy memories. There will never be closure.. only acceptance. I believe it will slowly get easier not having her here but there will never be closure.

      I visited her out at the cemetery, she was cremated and she is in a niche in a gazebo, so I purchased a niche right across from her so when I die we will be close to each other for all eternity.~

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      Crystal 3 weeks ago

      I lost my Mom 6 months ago...thank you for this ❤️

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      Veronica 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mom two days ago. She's been in and out of hospitals for the last two months. On Saturday, we got the call from the doctors that we dreaded. After experiencing an excruciating night of pain, doctors had to put her in full sedation and on a ventilator. We saw her one week prior to this and she was laughing and telling us that she'll make it through. I talked to her on Friday on the phone. She was in good spirits again. Then in less than 24 hours, she was literally on life support. My sister and I had to give the doctors permission to remove the meds keeping her alive and just make her comfortable. We held her hand as her heart stopped. I spent those last hours trying to memorize everything about her face, her hands, her eyelashes and eyebrows. She's gone now and I'm back home where she lived with my husband and kids for the last 10 years. I'm in such pain right now. My heart literally hurts. I don't know how people go on. It's a bit of a comfort to read that there are so many others going through the same thing. In our pain, we are united. I understand all of you so much. If I met you on the street, we would just have to make eye contact and I'd get you.

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      annie 3 weeks ago

      i lost my mom 14 year ago... i realizing that i am strong now when you wrote in this qoute

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      Mira 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mom six days ago. Thank you for the write up.

      :)

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      Barbara 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mum on the 15th August I have walked around in a bubble since the kids keep me busy but I would do anything to call her and chat about the weather. I feel like no one knows what to say to me so they just avoid me.

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      Sibu 3 weeks ago

      I lost my Mom on the 30th of June 2017. It has been a month and a couple of months since. I think I'm literally losing my mind. Not a single day goes by without thinking and crying over her passing. I smile and laugh a lot with people but the minute I am by myself I have this pain in my chest. I want to scream. It still feels like sometimes she's still a phone Call away. I haven't deleted her phone number and I feel so alone. Surrounded by people who have no idea what I'm going through. I have accepted that it won't get better I will just get used to the pain of never seeing her again. And no matter how many sibblings you have, you will realise that non of you will feel and react the same way to the loss, yes we all lost a mother but we don't all relate the same to the loss. It's painful and very hard to get used to. Yes mom was sick for roughly six months then suddenly she dies. I can't believe how fast it happened. it really feels so unfair.

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      Geralen 3 weeks ago

      I lost my mom on August 11,2017. A woman ran a red light and hit my mom then she had cardiac arrest they couldn't revived her. She died in the Emergency room. It was so sudden the night before we we're discussing purchasing a condo so she could moved back with me after living by herself for 18 yrs by herself. It never happened. It so painful losing my mom unbearable pain.

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      Mark 4 weeks ago

      My sister and husband rewrote my moms will 7 years ago ...racked up her credit cards stole all her retirement account ....didn't tell my mom she had lung cancer for 1 full year so it spread faster sold her house 50 grand under value and six weeks later my mom dies in Florida after they dragged her from her home in new York and away from all her friends .....this is grand larceny and premeditated murder and the worthless sheriff police and adult protection services did shit to protect my mom .....she died may 3 2013. .I'm 51 and her youngest son and my fuckin anger and grief pain and frustration is off the charts ....finally spoke to grief counselor and that pissed me off more ......horrible

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      Leo 4 weeks ago

      Than you Janet

      I will start the process of reachin-out to a counselor tomorrow

      Thank you

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      Janet 4 weeks ago

      Leo, you cannot end your life. Please reach out to a grief counselor who can be found through your local social services agency. Just Google "social services agency" in your town and you will find someone who can help you through this.

      My Mom has been gone for 2-1/2 years now and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her. She had memory loss at the end of her life but she still knew me, had her great sense of humor, beautiful smile, and words of wisdom. How can I forget that?

      At her funeral I read thoughts that I had actually prepared several years before her passing. I talked about how she rocked me and held me as a child, about how she cared for me and my brother, about how she always wanted to right every wrong that came into our lives not only as children but also as adults.

      Last night, I attended a meeting at my Church where we are trying to begin a grief group. I brought in a grief counselor whose words were: "Grief isn't supposed to leave you. It may diminish over time but it never leaves you."

      Bless you, Leo, and please look for some counseling and reach out to someone who can listen and advise you.

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      Dona-Baltimore, MD.- now living in the EU 4 weeks ago

      I sit here after reading the post, engulfed in tears, and fighting the pain. The moment I feel it coming on, I suppress it. It has been 19 months, and I too just want one more hug, one more kiss, one more sound of her beautiful voice, one more moment to smell her perfume, hold her hand. She was INDEED the BEST Mother on the planet. She was the organizer-the do-er-the everything-dance lessons, girl scouts, trips, picnics, school projects, the list is infinite. She was the BEST cook in the world. Made the BEST Maryland crabcakes. I still each day have a moment, where I simply cannot believe that she is gone. She was as brave, and as strong to the bitter end of her life as I remember her always being all throughout her life. Her name IS Laura. The most beautiful part of my LIFE.

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      Leo 4 weeks ago

      Thank you Jaime

      Thank you so much

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      Monnique 4 weeks ago

      It's been 22 days....sigh

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      Jaime 4 weeks ago

      Leo, I lost my Mom this year March 18. She was 79. She had liver disease and diabetes. I watched her suffer I watched her have seizures over many days in the hospital until my Father and I had to make a decision. We removed her feeding tube and gave her morphine. It was her time. I felt like you did. It's only been 5 months for me so I am right here with you. But you have to honor your Mom. And by honoring her, you'll be honoring yourself. You be the best Man you can be. You remember the things you loved about your Mom and you take them with you. Even adopt some of those traits or traditions. Keep her beautiful memory alive. Talk to her. Pray to her. Before we made the decision To remove the feeding tube, the hospitality, Gastroentologist, and liver specialist all talked to me. They were telling me she was dying. That she would either need 24 hour care at home or she would be in a nursing home needing round-the-clock care. She would need to be fed and probably wear diapers. Her baseline at home I've been so low that the doctor said even if she did make it out… She wouldn't be anywhere near where she had been healthwise. The doctor looked me straight in the eyes and asked me "if your Mother was here, looking over her body....if she was here with us listening to us, what would she want?" I immediately burst into tears because I knew. My mom would want none of it. We made a decision to honor her. It wasn't what we wanted to do. We kept thinking if we just waited another day. But we couldn't watch the suffering anymore. It is such an odd feeling to go through life without my mother. My nine-year-old son who loved her so much, has been a rock for me. I have also found that doing deeds for others has been great for me. Many people who have lost loved ones who have reached out to me… And I have kept myself surrounded around people who have lost their mothers. I find comfort in that. I feel that those are the people, the only people who really understand. Pray to your mom tonight and to God for guidance, strength, and support. I couldn't do it without support from my loved ones. I have found support where I didn't think I would. I have found that people I thought were there for me, haven't been. Or they just don't know how to react so they avoided me. It's okay. This is my journey. You will be okay Leo. Lean on those who love you. Just recently I started laughing again. I am enjoying my days again and only crying 5 times a day instead of 20. I am starting to remember her healthy and being her witty, sarcastic self. Lets honor our Moms by being our best self. I am there with you in spirit. What would your Mama want for you?❤️

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      Leo 4 weeks ago

      My mother passed away in April of this year.

      I am having difficulty and thinking about ending my life.

      I am not strong, thought I was, but I am not , just to much to bare, the pain is unbearable

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      Ian 4 weeks ago

      Lost my mother 3 months ago to pancreatic cancer. I have my moments and having a moment now....i seen her hand writing on a peice of laundry and broke down. I had lived with her up til she passed. Last thing she told me was before she went into hospice care was " don't worry I'm not going there to die" 6 days later she was gone...3 days before she died when she was in and out of consciousness she seen me and was trying so hard to give me a hug it took all her strength to do so....she finally was able to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me I smelled good...i know that sounds cheesy....but to me that was the last coherent thing I heard from her. The next day she slept the whole time and then from there on out even on mother's day....i kissed her on her for head, was trying not to cry....because I knew it was only a matter of time. I didn't see her pass I just couldn't bare it...my brothers told me that moment will never leave them....i just couldn't bare another second seeing my own mother in that condition. She lost over 40 lbs from the time she started getting sick til she passed. She went very quick from beginning of March til May 15th....she refused chemotherapy, ahe wanted to go quick as possible....thing is to this day....it still breaks my heart because she never told me how much pain she was in til March and it had been on going since last year..... Last summer she thought she hurt her stomach mowing our yard while I was at work....it just went from there....we thought it was acid reflux....we thought then it was severe gas pains....she didn't want to get checked out. Then came March 22nd the same very day I was diagnosed with cancer just 33yrs prior my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. And May 15th....she was gone.

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      Natasha Jones 4 weeks ago

      Knowing how much people grieve makes me not want to have kids.

      My grandmother took her own life before I was born when my mum was 21. I can't conceive mum's agony. I remember consoling her age 4 if she burst out crying over missing a bus. I.also remember a point where she snapped left home.and started to travel the world.

      All mum's have babies because they want to give a life. So.my.mum chose to get one.

      I.like to think that when.someone passes away that they are still there. They speak to is if we choose to listen.

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      Diane 4 weeks ago

      I lost my best friend, my mom, a week ago. I have so much grief & anger inside me that I don't know how I'm going to go on. No one else in my family is grieving & the anger is consuming me.

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      hani 4 weeks ago

      I lost my mom early this year. Almost 8months now, and im still grieving. More to regretting. Im suffering from the guilt. Ive been living my life, my whole life, wrongly. I cant even remember a time i sincerely showed her how much i loved her. Or maybe if i did love her. Im such a disgrace

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      MsTee1220 4 weeks ago

      My Mom went to my Daddy on June 23, 2017. While I am very happy for her rest in Eternity, I feel so forgotten down here by people that I thought were FRIENDS. I see them planning events or whatever, but my phone doesn't ring. I am focusing on my own family and my siblings now, but dang!!! this hurts!

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      Nicole 4 weeks ago

      My mom passed away may 28 2017 n not a day goes by I don't think about her she had pancreatic cancer n she was in a lot of pain for so long n she left her 8 children she was a single mother...I thought I was ready to let her go but none of us were ready but I am glad that I got to stay with her till the end n told her I loved her everyday oh god how we all feel lost without her and all I do is constantly working n come home to my 4 babies n have them keep me busy but I know that won't last

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      Rob 5 weeks ago

      I lost my mum 2 years ago to breast cancer and honestly I was completely devastated. I was by her side when she passed and it is difficult to describe the feeling of being completely knocked over. I found the article to be quite accurate and I do still feel periods of intense grief but have allowed myself to let it happen. All I can say to everyone who has recently lost a loved one is time does help but allow yourself to grieve - it hits in waves at unexpected times. I think of my mum every single day and miss her terribly but have tried to focus on my young family which I know mum would be proud. Life does move on but from what I have learnt in a slightly different way. I am forever grateful of being her son and friend.

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      Mikki 5 weeks ago

      I lost my mom 10/8/16...due to bone cancer..and her birthday is comin up..8/22.....ur story touch me and hit all the points...fell like I can,t go on living...miss her so....nothin but tears first birthday without her..

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      Chela 5 weeks ago

      I lost my mother on 7/4. The pain has been unbearable. She had been diagnosed with Large B-cell Lymphoma - stage 4 in October 2016. She lived only 9 short months after the diagnosis. It was difficult to see her suffer. The day before she passed I had begged God to take her as she was suffering badly . I thought I was ready. In reality no matter the illness, no matter the age it is impossible to be prepared of losing your mother. My heart aches. My mind says she is no longer in pain and one day we will be together but my heart has a hole in it now. It literally feels like part of my heart is gone. My daughters miss her as well. They are very young and have many questions but have helped me with my grief in some way. When I hear them talking about Grandma being the brightest star in the night sky or the most colorful butterfly in the garden it makes my heart smile. I know my mother is bringing them some comfort. I pray that soon you will find comfort in some form whether through children, prayer or memories

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      Vanessa 5 weeks ago

      Lost our Mam 24 july 17..She had rang my son at 5.40 am, my son then rang me not knowing what to do due to mem being a heavy drinker for most of my life..I spoke to Mam and told her to ring the emergency services as I knew she had been on the drink which may sound harsh but this was the reality in our family..when I got into work I rang my mams mobile and the paramedics answered telling me that mam was refusing medical treatment and she seemed of sane mind and there was nothing they could do. I carried on my days work then called to see mam the following morning believing she would be fine only to find her dead in bed..app she had died not long after the paramedics had left due to peritinitus. .I cannot get the guilt put of my head..if only I'd gone to see her!!!!

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      rhi 5 weeks ago

      I lost my mom on June 21, 2017. I am so very sad. There is nothing that will ever compare to the pain. I feel lost. I feel like I lost my only ally in life. Yes, life goes on, but it will never, ever be the same. May all of you find comfort and peace in your hearts again.

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      Kimmie 5 weeks ago

      Hello my mom died May 27 2017 I can not go on what must I do?

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      Vicki 5 weeks ago

      My mum passed away June 26 2017 from breast cancer which eventually spread to her bones and other organs , she had 2 months to live , I nursed her till the end , we only buried her husband my stepfather of 35 yrs, 11 months 2 weeks prior from bone cancer also ,my mum was my best friend and was everything to me , I feel so lost and empty without her , I'm always sad , I just want her back , I'm 51 yrs old and always been there for my mum , and now my daughter is having twins , that she was never told about because she was terminal and would never see her 4th and 5th great grandchild , life will never be the same without her in it, I miss her everyday , day by day that's all we can do the best we can , the emptyness will always be there and the love we have for our mums stays with us .

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      Melanie 5 weeks ago

      My Mum passed away 2 years ago, on the day of my boyfriend's birthday. It literally just feels like it was yesterday and some days I still think I've been in denial this long about her really being gone, that the pain is so raw and fresh. I definitely do have some good days remembering her and I try to think she's up there with God now, but no one can really understand unless you have been through it yourself. I just want to be happy and make her proud, but I will never get over her loss. I can only just take each day at a time and know that each day I wake up to be thankful because she passed away at 48 years old after a 4 year battle with cancer and I know she would be grateful for each and every day.

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      Denise 5 weeks ago

      Thank you for sharing your grief and pain. Our mother passed in June of this year. Even with the sure knowledge of our Savior and life beyond this, it is very difficult. The things you shared are so like what I am experiencing. "Home" just seems like a place now, even though our dad is still alive. I so appreciate the time you took. Thank you

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      Kayla 5 weeks ago

      I'm 24 years old, my mother was my best friend and now my angel, she passed away Jan 16, 2017 unexpectedly. Alls I remember is waking up early morning to 4 paramedics trying to bring her back, took her to the hospital, and there was nothing they could do....she was gone. I love this article and I shared it so my friends and family that get upset with me can read this.... moms death is more painful than any other. Thank you for writing this

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      Anonymous 5 weeks ago

      Lost my mother 9 month sister ago and everyday seems like it is still the same shock.

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      Tina 6 weeks ago

      My mother died 26 July 2017 accidentally I wos with her just somefew minute before she pass away now I don't know what to do

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      Christian 6 weeks ago

      Today is 72 hours since our mum died unexpectedly, she passed peacefully 2 hours after suffering a massive bleed on the brain. My dad was with her although she never regained consciousness, but we all like to think that in some way she knew he was with her at the end. I would not want her to have suffered or to have been scared - most of all I am grateful she was not alone. I live about 3 hours drive away from my parents, that drive down was a never ending, blurry and so painful. It seemed to go on for ever. Arriving at the house our whole world had changed in an instant but the house hadn't of course, everything was normal. Her car parked outside waiting for her, her handbag with her phone etc. All reminders of what was, and what will never be again. I'm staying at the house to help my day. My brother and sister are brilliant but just as sad as me, but it's so hard staying here amongst all the memories. But it's worse for my day. We are all looking for answers and comfort, which of course we will get in the end. But that's a long way off. I miss you mum and wish I could have told you more often xx

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      Grazed 6 weeks ago

      i loss my mom just 2 weeks ago and im back in dubai to work and im still in denial that shes gone your article helps me a little reading how you guys slowly coping up well you are right no definite time frame we can tell we are moved on it hard everyday specially in my case im the youngest in 6 siblings and only one not married and it was me and my mum after my father passed away 2 years ago. when my father died i have to be strong for mom but now my mother is gone somehow i feel so weak and i dont know how to moved on.

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      Winney mbori 6 weeks ago

      Just lost my mother on June 28th 2017 I'm having unbearable pain, just reading this gives me some comfort, I'm not able to eat or even sleep. Hopefully I will be able to cope.

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      susan 6 weeks ago

      my mum was my best friend my everything really. when i needed her she was always there . and when she got sick my little boy fell off a trampalean and had to go to the hospatal the day she died so i couldnt say good buy i feel so emnty without her its been 9 years today

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      NicCam 7 weeks ago

      My Mum passed last week and her service was yesterday / until now I've kept busy getting on with life - but now I am struggling but this article sums up completely how I am feeling ! And at 27 there is no one around me (except my brother who doesn't share) knows how I feel! So thank you for this

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      Stacey 7 weeks ago

      It's been 4 years. I think I'm OK and then out of the blue, Im sobbing.

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      CSC 7 weeks ago

      My mom died this Tuesday at 5:15pm. I was at work and called her to say I'll be right over at 5:30pm to take you to the hospital. I missed her by 15 minutes. A neighbor friend that was with her at the time of my mom's death told her "don't die, don't die! Your son and daughter are on their way to see you." But alas, due to her frail condition having lost so much weight and strength from her stage 4 bile duct cancer, her body simply shut down and she collapsed. I arrived at her place and found my mom lying in bed without any breath. I cried. My sister arrived soon after me and we were both saddened. We had just been with my mom for dinner the night before to eat her favorite dim-sum food. She looked terribly thin and weak, but I didn't think she would die the next day. In hindsight, I'm thinking that God allowed was gracious to spare me from witnessing my mother's death. It would have been harder on me seeing my mom die in my arms. She knew I was on my way in minutes, but yet she passed away. I'm trying to think on the positive side and believe mom tried to spare the family of having to be in long term healthcare. Mom was 76. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer about 4 months ago. She steadily lost weight and later had trouble going to the restroom and lost lots of weight and strength. She was in pain and had trouble sleeping. Even to the very end, she was hopeful in defiance of her doctors and wanted to try chemo therapy in hopes it would help her. My mom was a good, decent person that cared for me, her only son. I'm now 51 years old, and I always thought mom would grow to be one of those old Chinese ladies that I see walking around in Chinatown. Alas, that was not to be. I don't blame God for this. Instead, I thank God that I was given a caring mother who tried her best. Having read many stories on this board, I can see many others having a much harder time with their loss. I'm still coming to terms with my own loss. I currently find myself feeling a void in my heart and don't like to be alone thinking about this. I will go to her place this weekend to clear out her apartment and to the funeral home to make arrangements. I'm fortunate to having older aunties who are experienced at this and helping me out. Still, it will be hard on me. Like others, I have regrets and wish I could have spent more time with my mom when she was healthy. I'm trying to free myself of that guilt since it's not productive. Anyway, thank you for reading this, and I never thought I'd be posting a message like this on a blog, but I'm finding inspiration from others here.

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      Mario 8 weeks ago

      You are spot on and I feel for everyone who has lost the 1st person who loved us unconditionally, who made us feel better just by a hug or words. I lost my mom in July 2017 14 days ago and floods of emotions keep ripping me. I love her with all my heart as everyone here does and life will never be the same. These words and posts let's all of us know that we are not alone. God Bless.

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      Bella 8 weeks ago

      So sorry for your loss, my birthday is 18th September :( My own ma is currently getting tested for cancer and I cannot even bear to think of a world without her. We have had the discussion of the possibility of it happening due to this unknown cancer thing, but I still have the thoughts that if she goes, I have to go too, because I just cannot bear the thought of living in a world where she isn't here. My mum is my best friend and losing her in my teen years, I can't lose her.

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      Joanne 2 months ago

      I lost my mum on 8th July around 4pm. What you have said is perfect and I can relate to it all. Thank you for helping me understand my grief xx

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      debbie curtin 2 months ago

      my mum passed away very suddenly on may 20th 2017 most days I can barely get out of bed only to do what I have to do I cry every day and wonder how I will go on without my best friend I just want to sleep and maybe I will see her in my dreams one night I did I ran up and hugged her I miss her beautiful smile and so much we did together I only hope we will see each other in heav en one day

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      Nuala 2 months ago

      My Mum passed away 4 weeks ago after a long illness. Thank you for your article. I empathise with everything you say in fact I am in tears as I write this. Missing her terribly but I have the comfort that I was with her right up until the end. We planned her funeral service together as She knew she was dying. She was so brave and courageous to the very end. So mentally alert but her body could not take anymore. She died from acute renal failure.

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      meme 2 months ago

      Think happy and try to get your mind of it and do something to get your mind off of it

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      trudi 2 months ago

      i lost mum 3 weeks ago and i cant make sense that i will never see her again . Why didnt she see a doctor earlier , why didnt i do something when i noticed her legs getting thin and i just thought it was her anxiety . i just want to know shes safe .

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      Rheda 2 months ago

      Thank you for writing this. My mom has been given 2 weeks to 2 months to live. My heart is broken…. and I feel I will surely die when she does. She is the love of my life. Your article touched me deeply. Thank you so much!!!!

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      birdlynn 2 months ago

      Thank you for this post....my mother passed away on Sunday, July 9th, 2017. Almost 84 years old. She gave me the best last two years of her life, her pure love. I too, loved her so much, and so dearly. I don't like being without her, she was my mom. Nobody else like her, I knew her every move, thought, feeling, so it seemed. She made me smile and laugh so much. I still feel spaced out.

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      Mustafa 2 months ago

      My mother passed away at the age of 57. I am now 32. My mother will not see me get married. Will spend time her grand kids. Will never see my life accomplishments. The day she passed was April 28th 2017. I find myself have so many memories of her all the time. It is not easy. I am sure that their is someone out there that knows exactly what I am going through. Life is going to be hard without her. She was the glue to our family. She is survived by 4 sons me being the eldest of the 4. And my father.

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      Deb 2 months ago

      Hurting so bad today. Miss my mom. All I can do is cry.

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      Charlotte Brewer 2 months ago

      I just can't get over of losing my mom she passed away September the 18 of last year she was payed out and brief on my birthday September 21 is my birthday

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      Megan 2 months ago

      It's been 4 months and 2 days. I've been to one funeral and one visitation, but didn't go to the cemetery. I have visited my mom twice at her grave though. I think the worst part is she will never see me get married or have kids if either happen. Everything else I read is very true. It just sucks. Sorry for your loss. :-(

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      Missy 2 months ago

      My Mom was killed in a car accident when I was 22, four days before Christmas. I am her only child. It is going 15 years since she died, I can't let her go, the pain gets harder for me. I've never been able to move forward with my life. Thank you

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      2 months ago

      My precious mother died on July, 21, 2013. She died in Texas. I took her there for treatment.

      She was the very epitome of motherly love: compassionate, empathetic, quietly sacrificial, wise, gently encouraging, smart, accomplished, funny, and kind.

      So kind.

      She was light.

      Her name was Lucia (pronounced to rhyme with the color fuscia).

      It is a Scandanavian / Nordic name that means light. In fact, one of the biggest celebrations in Sweden, Norway and Finland is St. Lucia's Day, a festival day...a day of lights.

      How apt that her name conferred this.

      She was light.

      She is light.

      The problem is that I am just a soul, limited to my feeble human body who cannot see her light anymore.

      But I will.

      In time, I will. No one escapes death.

      Her extraordinary light was not extinguished; rather, her physical form died and her beautiful soul--that radiant light--lives on.

      Her light bathes heaven in resplendant glory.

      I know it.

      And in the meantime, I must remember that life is a gift. I must remember to live my life.

      I need to remember that I also have a light.

      Grief is hard. Four years later, my grief remains. There is a chasm in my heart. It aches. It hurts. It bleeds.

      The missing part never leaves, as I will never stop missing her or loving her. Never.

      But I must push myself forward. She would want that. She would also be patient with me and understand my devastation, my grief.

      But, ultimately, she would tell me to move forward in my own way. And that was the thing about her: she would respect me enough to do it my way, on my terms. She would help me but also step back and let me heal.

      I miss you with all of my heart, Mommy. I love you. And I miss you. My heart aches for you and it always will.

      You were extraordinary. I will always love you. Always.

      ...

      Postscript...one thing I noticed about grief is how utterly lacking in empathy most people are. They mouth bromides and platitudes that are not helpful. When someone is in the throes of pain, shut up and listen! Empathize. Try to understand the enormity of their pain. Loss is devastating. Thank God for my wonderful man. He is a gem. Without him, I could not have coped with my mom's death. It felt like the whole world deserted me, but he did not. Grief can be a great teacher. It taught me empathy. It also taught me loneliness and a depth of sorrow I never knew. It has changed me.

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      JAmie 2 months ago

      My mom died last Wednesday morning early morning at 145 am. And I am functioning with all the preparations. And cried couple of times. I am in the verge of hopelessness and hopeful at the same time. I felt like I am climbing on a hill and couldn't get a grip.

      The pain especially at night is extremely horrendous. I felt that my heart is going to explode from sorrow and grief.

      I spoke to couple of my family members on how my mama used to protect me all the time and never realized that she did protect me very well. So well, that i hardly even noticed that she's doing it.

      Her kindness and love let me stroll life as if I am living in a rose colored glass and every time I think of it, I am grateful that she shielded me from all the pain and all the sorrow and she's there when I needed comfort and to hear her voice once again will be like an angel singing or perhaps a gorgeous bird that sings just for me.

      I don't know when I will be able to get over my mother's passing and I don't think I even want to. But, all i know is that I am hopeful that someday I will meet her or she will meet me once again. All I can do for today is passed on the kindness that she shown to me. So that her death and her legacy of kindness will never be forgotten.

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      Lesley Woolfstein 2 months ago

      My mum passed away 20th of April 2017 im 56 years old how do I stop crying as its making me ill as im constantly crying day after day I doñt want to keep crying any one else like this

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      Joy 2 months ago

      That was very well written thank you! My Mom passed in November 2016. I didn't realize what I did until I read your article, I stayed really busy. Now 7 months later I can't seem to pull myself together to go on. I always looked to my mother for guidance and she's the only one that every really understood me and how to give that information to me so it's will received good or bad. I'm really not sure what to do I'm not working can't find work. My brother through undu influence got my mother to change the trust removing me as the trustee and put him in charge. I've had to hire an attorney but nothing seems to be happening. meanwhile my brother gave my sister anything and everything she wanted but will not offer me anything. He's selling and getting ride of the two things my mother said I could have and refuses to give me any of her ashes. This makes things so incredibly hard and much worse than they really need to be. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. And I want to sincerely Thank you for your article it helped me not feel so bad for missing her so dearly it was and is an indescribable pain you feel throughout your entire soul.

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      Robert Radcliffe 2 months ago

      The Doctor asked me if she should be made aware of her cancers and how long she had to live, due to her confusion I requested that she should not. Days later the Doctor informed me that she would be told the following day, I agreed that she had a right to know, unfortunately I received a call at 4.30 the following morning telling me that my mam was very poorly and I should be at the Hospital, naturally I went to the Hospital and was informed that my Mother was unresponsive so I said goodbye and waited for the call.....

      There is such a void that is impossible to fill and I feel so lost without her..

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      catnebron215@gmail.com 2 months ago

      Thank you!

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      Hannah 2 months ago

      My mum died suddenly three weeks ago. The pain is something I cannot describe. Thank you for this, it has helped me.

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      Dirk 2 months ago

      Thank you. My mother passed away 9 days ago. I needed to read what you wrote. I feel this immense guilt that she now knows everything about me. All the good and all the bad. Your article was very helpful and it is my hope to find the peace for which have written about.

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      Kathy 3 months ago

      My mother passed away on November 21st 1994, and to this very day I miss her terribly, I know that I will always miss my Mother till the day I die, it's a very cold, lonely world without my Mother!

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      Christine M. Lynch 3 months ago

      My mama died 5-13-2017 of brain cancer. I miss her so much. I am in such excruciating pain. Each day, even each moment is a struggle without her. God Bless Dianne Marie Sanlorenzo.

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      SRW 3 months ago

      It's been 6 years and it still hurts. Thank you for this article. It helps to know that someone else understands. That helps a lot.

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      Lucy 3 months ago

      My mom died last night I cried a lot I don't think I will ever get over it

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      Leath 3 months ago

      I love my mum

      Because I very much

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      Coretta 3 months ago

      Thk u for yr article my mom went to be with the lord may 18 2016 its been 1 year now i miss & luv her so much i have good & bad days i cry a lot this was 1 of my biggest trial in my life thk God for my Husband im a only child my mom & i were very close but im keeping trust in God that i will see her again when christ comes back God bless every 1