How to Go on After the Loss of Your Mother

Updated on February 14, 2018

Your mother is your first friend and playmate. She’s the one who rocked you as a baby, patched you up as a clumsy kid, and eased your heartaches as a teen. She helped you plan your wedding and coached you on the ins and outs of being a first-time mother. In a sense, your mother is the biggest part of your life. This article is about dealing with the loss of this woman.

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose your mom. I’ve had many friends throughout the years who have lost their own mothers. I felt sad for them and offered words of comfort. I cooked lasagna and bought cards to help my friends “get through” the grief. I had absolutely no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother with you.

No matter what I write in this article, if you haven’t lost your mother, you won’t fully understand the depths of grief one goes through. The pain is crippling, and it hits you at random moments. One minute you might be fine, and the next minute you are curled up in a ball on your bedroom floor in inconceivable pain. If you have lost your mother, then you’re probably sitting there nodding your head in agreement.

"The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her."

— Author Unknown

My mother passed away on September 18th, 2011. She had suffered with lung cancer for the year and a half prior to her death. Her suffering was long and difficult for everyone. We all knew Mom was going to die. In fact, there came a point when we were praying for God to take her and end her suffering.

I thought I was prepared for Mom’s passing. I’m an educated, intellectual woman. I read all the books on death, dying, and grief. I knew it would be hard, but I figured I was ready to face it head-on. After all, losing a parent is a fact of life that millions of people before me have faced. Mom was very brave and was ready to die. I was going to be brave too. I thought I would grieve for a while, and then I would be able to move on with life. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

The following is based on my experience. Your experience might be completely different, but I’ll bet most of you can find some similarities between my experience and yours.

Coping With Grief

• Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

• Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

• Remember Your Mom

• Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

• Find Your Peace

• Smile and Live Your Life

You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.
You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.

The first few days after your mother dies are going to feel like a blur. You will function only in that you will make funeral arrangements, contact relatives, console family members, and go forward taking care of necessary tasks. Numbness is the perfect word for this time. The funeral will come and go, and so will the relatives and well-wishers.

After the burial, it’s time for life to go back to normal, right? Wrong! Life will never be normal again. It will be different, but it will never be as it was. How could it be?

For the first few weeks, your friends and coworkers will be wonderful. They’ll offer you lots of smiles and hugs. They’ll offer to take you to dinner and they’ll listen as you talk about how bad the pain is. You’ll hear a lot of “I’m here for you”, and “If there’s anything I can do” comments during this time.

After a couple months, it will seem like people have forgotten that you lost this important part of your life. They’ll stop asking how you are, and they might even look worried when you want to talk about your mom. You see, people who haven’t gone through this pain think there’s a period of grieving and that's it. After a certain time, you should be ready to move on with your life and "get over it."

But you will never get over it. The pain will lessen, and the moments of intense grief will be farther apart, but how can you ever get over losing your mother?

Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.
Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.

Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

Well-intentioned people will try to speed up the grieving process for you. They’ll try to keep you busy, and some of them won’t mention your mother’s name for fear of hurting you. But you must allow yourself to grieve. If you try to stay busy and put it out of your mind, it will catch up to you. You’re going to feel it at some point. It’s best to let it happen when it happens.

After Mom died, I tried to push away the grief. Any time I felt like falling apart, I would take deep breaths and get busy with something else. This worked for a little while, but not for long. The pain was not going away, and I needed to feel it. One night—two months after Mom’s death—I was sitting at the dinner table with my husband and children. The kids were talking about their day, and I was trying to actively listen. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I knew what it was, but was trying to ignore it. You see, grief is a very physical thing. You literally feel physical pain. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I got up and ran to my bedroom. My husband gave me some time alone. When he finally came in to check on me, I was curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. After that night, I learned to allow myself to feel the pain. I didn’t ignore it anymore.

Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.
Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.

Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there's no set time limit on the process.The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is not entirely accurate, but not entirely inaccurate either. I don't know if the wound of losing a mother is ever healed. The pain does get more bearable over time. But how long it should take? No one can say.

Five months after my mother passed away, the parent of one of my students died. I knew this man well, and I wanted to help my student. I planned to go to the funeral, but then the day before, I realized I couldn't do it. I hadn't been in a funeral home since Mom's wake, and I nearly hyperventilated just thinking about it. I told a friend I wasn't going, and she became aggravated. Her words were, "Your mom died in September. Don't you think it's time you moved on?" I probably don't have to point out to you that this woman's mother is still very much alive. I'll be honest, I felt like something must be wrong with me. Why wasn't I able to move on? Now, I realize that I was still grieving. I wasn't following any timetable, and it was okay.

Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.
Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.

Remember Your Mom

That heading sounds silly. Of course, you're going to remember your mom. She was your mom! What I mean here is that you should remember your mom for who she was—the good and the bad.

I spent months remembering my mom as this perfect human being who was, by far, the greatest mother who ever walked the earth. Mom was a wonderful person, but let's face it, she's was human. After a few months, I started having memories of the real mother I grew up with. She wasn't perfect, and we didn't always get along. Mom had a knack for being negative toward me, and I wasn't always patient with her. Putting Mom up on a pedestal wasn't fair to her, and she would've hated it.

Yes, remembering the bad times isn't always easy. Regret may rear its ugly head, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You can't push it away, because like the grief, it will find you. As they say, it is what it is. My mom knew I loved her dearly, and I knew the same about her. We didn't have the perfect relationship, but in the end, I was there by her side. I watched as she took her last breath, just as she watched me take my first. She was my mother. The good, the bad, and the ugly ... she was my mother, and I loved her.

Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.
Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.

Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

It's now been a year and a half since Mom passed away. I miss her dearly, especially when I go visit my Dad. I hold up pretty well, though. I can laugh and smile as I tell my kids something Mom used to say when I was a child. I can crank up her favorite songs and sing as loudly as she would. I would say, I'm doing pretty well.

Some days are tougher than others. One reason I wrote this article is that yesterday was a particularly rough day for me. I woke up craving my mother's voice. I wanted to call her and hear her laugh. I wanted her to make me laugh. Mom had the best sense of humor of anyone I've ever known, and I needed that yesterday. I cried several times yesterday, and it was okay. I let myself feel the grief again. Those days will come, no matter how long it's been. Let it come.

Do the things you enjoy.
Do the things you enjoy.

Find Your Peace

People find comfort in different things. For some people, taking a walk helps. For others, a long, hot bath does the trick. The important thing is not WHAT you do, but that you do something for you.

There may be songs, smells, or images that bring comfort to you as well. For me, it's the sight of a hummingbird. This was Mom's favorite animal, and she had several items around her house with the tiny creature on them. During one of the darkest moments of my life—Mom's funeral—a hummingbird flew to the window of the church and lingered there for a minute. I have caught glimpses of hummingbirds a few times since then, and it they have brought me great peace. Silly? Maybe, but you find whatever works for you. Don't let anyone diminish those moments. I truly believe they are meant to help us.

Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.
Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.

Smile and Live Your Life

At some point after your mother's death, you will find reasons to smile again. I think this is one of the greatest things we can do to honor our moms and the love we have for them. Find joy again. Laugh heartily. Love deeply. Live like your mother would want you to.

On those days when you just miss your mom, don't fight it. Allow yourself to miss her. A wise friend of mine said, "Your mother deserves to be remembered. She deserves to be missed."

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Reekii 

        5 hours ago

        I miss my mom so bad. I try not to let anyone really know, because I've always been the strong child. My heart is so broken. She died of pancreatic cancer 7 months ago.

      • profile image

        Lynn 

        16 hours ago

        Thank you, Resh. I'm so sorry for your loss, too. It's a long road ahead but, we forge on, I suppose. Today I will go visit my mom at the cemetery.

      • profile image

        Motherless daughter 

        38 hours ago

        Thinking of you all, god bless

      • profile image

        Motherless daughter 

        2 days ago

        Walt , you have lost soo much and yes you are still here. The dream , I don’t think you can get it anymore beautiful then that. I yet to have a dream . My mom passed March 30 2018 also being my half sister her step daughters birthday. I believe my mom came to me two weeks after her passing on tv. I was watching a program. Half way in the mom went inside the house and came out with her child. Her name was Norma , my moms name. Then the name Norma flashed across the bottom of the screen. I started to cry something awful . I’ve been told it’s her letting me know she’s ok . But I feel I need something more to make me believe she is .I miss her soooo , she was also my best friend & she loved me sooo. The things she did I now know she was my greatest fan. She was my mom & dad and it hurts something awful . I cling to everything I can , if I see an elderly I gravitate to them more than before to say hi or talk . I also feel sad or bitter when I hear a mom and dtr talking or laughing or just hanging out because I don’t have mine. I’m 54 my mom was a young and vibrant 81. We came especially close the last 4 years . I’m happy we did . I made a promise to her and even though I’ve had my bad days of feeling so sad I’ve managed to keep moving forward, i talk about mom all the time it’s natural for me & I don’t want anyone to forget her .I have kids and grandkids and although my family understands my time grieving they say they need me too, so theirs another reason to move forward . I work so that’s good , and I recently got a promotion and I don’t know what I’d be doing now if I didn’t have a job I went to church Sunday it was an out of the blue decision my plan is to go every Sunday , mayb it’s God’s plan for me and I’m thinking of joining a gym or doing something for myself. I still have many days of unhappiness about mom but now she is my my special angel watching over me. God bless.. motherless daughter

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        Jen 

        3 days ago

        My mother died 1 1/2 years ago, but the trauma for me has not stopped. She was my rock, my home-base, my best friend and a second mom to my daughters. The loss was huge, but immediately became "complex grief" when 3 days after the funeral my father insisted I help get rid of her clothes, purses, shoes, while he announced that after 57 years of marriage (in which she placated his self-centered self) he needs me to know that he hasn't been happy with her. He aggressively started a relationship with her best friend, who'd given the eulogy, and proceeded to blow the rest of the family up, marrying this woman a year later. Now mom never got buried and my siblings and I are barely speaking since no one can figure out a way to get through this pain and trauma. He harasses my family through constant texts and emails to demand we "get over it". I am not sure where to start in all of this grief.

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        walt 

        5 days ago

        I'm 64 and I have lost a few family members. My grandpa died 1973, my father-in-law 1989, stepmother 1986, my grandma 2000, my dad 2003, my mother 2010, my mother-in-law 2014, my sister 2015, my father figure 2018, and now my step dad at 91 is going to leave- he will be the last of that generation.

        Each time a loved one past away, it took a piece from me until I thought there was little left, but here I go on. I'm thankful for the kids and my wife and I try and focus on them, but from time to time, a smell, an event, an object or even a sound will remind me of one of them and I cry for the lonesome feeling and say; "If I could just hug you one more time". I hear Gods voice replying; "And then what? Then you would want another hug then another........."

        I miss my mother and father so very much, and I had a realistic dream not long ago. My mom was standing 6 feet from me in a beautiful field of tall grass waving in the wind and in the background beautiful mountains - the sun was bright and the air cool and clear. She had the most beautiful and content smile on her face as if to say; I am very happy and I'm fine and I love you. In the background, my dad was walking in the tall grass and a dog was bouncily jumping and running around him (He loved dogs)- both were content. It was so real, I saw details and colors and could feel the breeze- I awakened feeling so content and happy.

        We are separated only for a while I know, but it sometimes doesn't help to know that. Do not forget those you still have now- tell them you love them and spend as much time with them as possible. Time heals some things and other things it doesn't, but you must go on- that's what you would want them to do.

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        Babs 

        7 days ago

        I’m reading your article in bed crying it’s 4 years since Mom passed , yes I do have regrets but she was my best bud , Always there to listen to me good and bad , She always made me feel better no matter what , sometimes I cry and talk to her wishing she was here . I know she’s at peace and yes sometimes I go to her grave and talk to her maybe some people would say I’m nuts , but it is what it is . I can always remember when dad died mom would say you never forget you just learn to live life differently. To all those people out there when you have a sign and think that is your loved one believe if it gives you peace , God Bless

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        Marilyn 

        7 days ago

        To all of you who are having a really hard time just know even if we don’t know each other we are all feeling the exact same way. I’ve alwsys been a crier so that helps me. Whatever helps do it. My moms been gone 3 months and it’s a tiny bit better. My mom always said we all have to go so don’t worry. That’s part of life. I believe she is watching over me and I’ll see her again. I’m starting to become angry because my sister has totally dumped everything in my lap and the worst part is to come. Cleaning out my moms house, that I was raised in, snd selling it. So I’m still grieving and angry at the same time which turns into anxiety attacks. I pray “This Too Shall Pass”!!!

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        Maya 

        8 days ago

        I lost my mom on December 7th,2014... The pain becomes weaker by time, it's true... But it never goes away. There are still nights that I spend crying and feeling huge hole inside of me. Of course life goes on and you learn to live without her, but mother is a mother, and it's true that nothing is ever the same... To all of you who lost your mothers not long ago- you are not alone! Talk to people you love, cry, walk, look at the things and people you love, enjoy your kids if you have them... Good luck!

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        Resh 

        8 days ago

        Lynn i can totally relate as i also lost my mom on christmas eve to a cardiac arrest

        She was healthy and fine and just 57 yrs

        Makes me realise that god has better plans for all of us when its time to go you need to.

        He chooses his angels and gives them a chance to be our gaurdians .

        To all those in pain of loosing their mom

        Its ok to cry its ok to feel lost and lonely

        Life may not be the same

        But thats just how it is .

      • profile image

        HUNTER 

        8 days ago

        I held my mama's hand as she took her last breath Dec. 31, 2019. I had been her primary care giver for 2 years, my brother had passed in 2010. She was all i had and now my life is so empty. I feel lost, im not crying much. I am more confused of why im not grieving and falling apart, why cant i cry, why cant i scream, why am i not angry... i feel so guilty for doing anything because mama cant do whatever with me, shes gone.

      • profile image

        Lynn 

        9 days ago

        I lost my mom on Christmas day, 12-25-2018...15 days ago. The pain is immense...it's not getting any easier, but harder. I feel so lost, lonely and sad.

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        Angie 

        12 days ago

        My mom passed away on Christmas day 2018 due to kidney failure from ovarian cancer recurrence. My mom was 83 years old but full of life. Even while she was in the hospital she kept telling doctors that she was not going to die and they had no idea what they were talking about. Somehow I believed her. If course I believe my mom she is ALWAYS right. She always made things better and always comforted me. Few days later she went into hospice and died 2 days after going into hospice. My heart is extremely broken, I am an only child, never left my mom's side in my 37 years of life and now she's gone. I miss my mommy. I know she's with the Lord now but I sure wish that I could feel her presence. I don't know that I will ever move past this. This is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life.

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        ASDespain 

        12 days ago

        I lost my mom unexpectedly 12 years ago- she was 59. We had really only become close in a few years before that (for very complicated reasons) and in those few years, she became my best friend. The night before she passed away, she called me at work- in that conversation, she told me how proud she was of me. There is no monetary value for that.

        When I think about her, it's getting hit in the gut hard, every time, but I'm actually grateful for that. It's a reminder of how important she was, is, and always will be.

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        Samaneh 

        13 days ago

        I lost my mother 14 years ago.I was only 14. every day I think her and never forget her.

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        Judy P. 

        2 weeks ago

        today my mother was advised that cancer has returned to her body, in several areas. How long she has is not (yet) known,, but I'm starting to grieve already....not necessarily for the impending loss of my mother, but for the loss of myself....as I was 5 hours ago. :(

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        Brittany 

        2 weeks ago

        I lost my mom 12/17/18 unexpectedly due to an aneurysm. This article is exactly what I've been experiencing. I'm 28 years old. My mom was my everything. Christmas and New Years I was very sad. I tried to keep it together for my 5 kids. I'm also pregnant, my childrem were very close to my mom. This article has comforted me in so many ways. It's still very fresh, some days I don't wanna move. No appetite, no desire to interact. Other days I'm a little better. God has gotten me through though. I will continue to lean on him. Thanks so much for this article. Finally someone who understands.

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        Donna 

        2 weeks ago

        I lost my mother, my best friend and kindest person on 6/19/18 and I am not dealing with it good at all. I lost a huge piece of my heart I will never get back, I am crying everyday and night and struggling to get into life. It feels like this should be against the law losing them. I pray to all of us who lost our moms and dads cause it definitely is life changing.

      • profile image

        San 

        2 weeks ago

        To all if you people that are suffering the worst pain in the world. Don't let anyone tell how you should feeling or telling you to "just get on with it", these people don't know what it's like, or they just don't know what real love is. Let the tears come and don't fight it, it will make you feel worse if you do, they will flow for a long time, and it's normal, so stuff everyone else and do what is right for you. And Rick i think your neighbour is in serious need of some proper help. They should be supporting you not yelling at you. God bless you all. I totally feel your pain.

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        lisa 

        2 weeks ago

        Thank you for this article. I just lost my mom 5 days ago. She has been battling Alzheimers and Dementia for about 10 years now. Even though we knew this day was coming, it’s still been very hard on me. I find myself breaking down and crying out of nowhere.

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        Barre 

        2 weeks ago

        It should of been my name Barre to felice sorry

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        Felice 

        2 weeks ago

        Thanks felice i will look into grief therapy at the end of this month jan 31 would of been her birthday she is dead 5 weeks now first christmas first new year now first birthday coming its horrible . As you all know how hard it is and i get panic attacks on and off my whole life and my mom knew and helped me . Now my rock is gone.

      • profile image

        Vuyo 

        2 weeks ago

        Today last year I lost my mom. It's been a year now; there are days I hope it is just a lie.. It hurts, the pain is too deep

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        Naomi 

        2 weeks ago

        Lost my mom on the 5th of January 1985 as a baby, the pains is still very fresh n severe in my heart

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        Rick 

        2 weeks ago

        I just lost my mom and my neighbor stated yelling at me what are you going to do now with out your mom, how are you going to get by, next morning when leaving to work the neighbor screamed I'm going to get blank blank drunk today, what is wrong with this person?

      • profile image

        Felice 

        2 weeks ago

        Barre and San, I’m feeling your pain. The thing that helps me is attending weekly group grief meetings where you can say how you feel and not be judged.

        We just listen to each other and no comments allowed. I have friends and relatives I stay away from because they are so judgmental.

        This is my 2nd NewYear without my mom. Next big day will be Feb, 3rd, her birthday.

        I pray a lot.

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        Sherie 

        2 weeks ago

        Thanks for writing this article. I lost my mom 17 days ago. So I have already went through a few firsts, Christmas and New Years. THE WORST ! My mom was also under Hospice at my home and I was her primary caregiver. I too was by her side in the end. I told her I loved her and she told me and my brothers that she loved us. She was 63 years old. This is the worst pain ever, i just want it to be over so i can get through a day with no tears. My mom struggled a long time with her health and was on oxygen fulltime with a full face mask she hated it. She told me she was tired and i knew she was about to leave us. Being her caregiver i knew it was going to be hard but I thought knowing she is in a better place and no longer struggling would give me comfort but i cant seem to find it. She was a birthday coming in about a week, I am definitely not looking forward to that...another first I guess. Not looking forward to all the "firsts" coming my way.

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        Marilyn 

        2 weeks ago

        My mom was 91 when she died in Oct. 14, 2018. I miss her so so much. I find it hard to get out of bed every morning. My husband lost his mom Aug. 19, 2017 so both of us are so depressed. My sister has totally closed me out of her life since my mom died. I don’t understand so now I’ve lost the only other family member I had. I know my mom is with her family and friends and I’ll see her again someday but it’s so raw right. I don’t want to bother my friends or other family members with my feelings. They think I should be over this by now. It’s helps to share on this site.

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        Barre 

        2 weeks ago

        First new year without my mom she is only dead 4 weeks its horrible.Felice thank you for letting meknow you feel the same way even though our moms were older. God Bless us All through our grief.

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        San 

        2 weeks ago

        Felice, i totally get where you are coming from when you say you feel worse now. My mum died on 5th December 2017, but sometimes it feels like yesterday. This is my second new year without her, but the pain is so severe, i wish i could sleep and wake up when next week when it's all over. God bless everyone who is feeling this pain.

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        Felice 

        2 weeks ago

        Barre, I was just like you when my mom died on Nov. 9, 2017. Until now I wear her nightgowns to feel her hugs. Mama and I usually prayed together and said “I love you” to each other every night. I knew she was going to die because they put her hospice care at home. I was her main caregiver. Hospice agency gave me written instructions on what to do, what to look for, what to expect. And it happened just like they said. I’m as devastated now as I was when she died. I can still see her look at me as if to say I love you and goodbye before she shut her eyes for good and stopped breathing. She was 95 years old and died from kidney failure. My heart aches and tears flowing now as I write this. They tell me time heals but I feel worse now. I love her so much. I am very lost without her. I’ve been in grief therapy for a year but not helping. Good luck to you.

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        Vuyo 

        2 weeks ago

        I am having a heavy heart... Lost my mom on the 02 January this year. 2019 will be the first new year without her. it is so not easy

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        Barre 

        2 weeks ago

        My mom died nov 28 2018 i dreaded this day my whole life she was 86 but a young 86 a typical brooklyn mom. We did everything together my whole life she had so much life in her she was a kind sweet women when we went out she talked to everyone and they loved her . I miss her so much iam numb iam so heartbroken i lost my beat friend in the world i know my lifewill never be the same she died suddenly from a fib . I will be lost forever i talk to her and sleep with her shirt on me . My hear aches so so bad i cry all the time i need her to comfort me and she is gone.

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        Clinton 

        3 weeks ago

        Mom will be gone a year and five months on January 3. I sent a few comments to this site a few times. Thinking that time heals, I find it very slow. I miss her very much. Holidays are hard. Thank God for my faith that kept me strong through this ordeal. Life needs to go on and she would have liked to have us enjoy it. Peace to all of you.

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        Charm 

        3 weeks ago

        You are welcome Felice.

      • profile image

        Felice 

        3 weeks ago

        Thank you, Charm. God gives me the strength to carry on. I attend group grief sessions where we all understand each other and just listen. The only place, other than thos forum, I can share my grief.

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        Anonymous 

        3 weeks ago

        Thank you all it’s going to be tough I spoke to my mum today and she said it won’t be long son.

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        Charm 

        3 weeks ago

        I feel your pain Felice. I lost my mom 2yrs ago it’s HARD. I miss her dearly. Keep God close to you. There is no love greater than Jesus. God bless you.

      • profile image

        Felice 

        3 weeks ago

        Here it is Christmas Eve and I am alone. It’s my second Christmas without my Mama and it’s even more lonely than last year. The pain is so intense. Mama was my life. My family and friends keep saying that time heals or I should be over my grief. That’s why I am alone tonight. They just don’t understand what I’m going through having lost my mom, my best friend. I miss her so much. I am still devastated. Tears never stop.

        I am so thankful I’m finding support and understanding here.

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        Jeff 

        3 weeks ago

        I lost may mom last night after she battled various diseases and ailments for several years. Through it all she was able to live independently until the last four months of her life which is a tribute to her strength and determination. Although she lived 83 years, she always seemed much younger to me. She was the matriarch of the family and leaves a void that cannot be filled.

        My God I miss her!!! I love you Mom.

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        Tab 

        3 weeks ago

        Lost my mother when I was 12 I’m now 24 and this Christmas. I’ve been avoiding it so much. Just tellling everyone I’m not in the mood. I even decided not to visit my other family members. I didnt even notice I was depressed untill I cried today for a whole 3 hours. Wishing I could call my mother or see her. Let her know about my life currently. Spend the holidays with her. Wow haven’t felt like this in the last 5 years. It hits you out of no where. Be strong! Holidays are the worst

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        Daughterless 

        4 weeks ago

        You all have been heavy on my mind at this time because I know we are feeling pretty much the same. December has been a month of non stop crying for me. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much in my lifetime as much as I have in the last 8 mos coming up to 9 on dec 30. I know I will never get over losing mom( it’s still unbelievable) as I say it and I hope someday I can manage this pain so that I can move on with my life because I know mom would want me too. What I can say is I’ve gotten to care about my job again well enough so that I can try to advance, almost as if I want to continue to make mom proud . But their are times when I need to be alone still and grieve and I do.Christmas eve will be spent with kids and grandkids (doing it for them) . I’m not as angry anymore and I’ve decided to go to church in the morning I know it will help. New years will be just another day for me and I don’t plan on celebrating a new year without mom in it and I’m fine with that. So For whatever it’s worth I want to send blessings your way during this holiday season & know your not alone because we care .Motherless Daughter

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        Darlene 

        4 weeks ago

        Just lost my boyfriend 4 months ago then my mother 2 days ago

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        Villia 

        4 weeks ago

        I'm 32. I lost my mother 3 months ago. I hadn't seen her in over 6 months. I had no idea she wasn't doing well because she told noone. She refused to go to the ER (she worked as a Lab Tech so always hated going) and she'd been in and out different hospitals over the past few months. She was clearly not herself and she had really bad water weight from her diabetes. And she refused to tell anyone what she was going through and her 'husband' (they weren't legally married) told noone and just kept fixing her mixed drinks like she asked for instead of making her go to the ER. Maybe I would have gotten more time with her. He should have noticed something was wrong with her since he saw her every day. But he didn't. And yes I'm pissed about that. I had no idea any of this was going on. She checked herself out of the hospital and she wasn't supposed to leave. If someone had just told me what the fuck was going on, I would have made her go, I wouldn't have picked her up from the hospital without release papers. But it's all too late now. She'd always had health problems (her heart) but she was always so strong, and always pulled through. She just got worse it seemed all of a sudden. She was in rehab, supposed to be doing better. I went to see her. I had no idea it would be the last time I ever saw her. She drastically got worse and had to be rehospitalized. They had to keep her sedated. The stupid nurse told me she'd give my mom a cup of her favorite hazelnut coffee when she woke next. 2 days later I found out there was nothing they could do, she would never wake up. They sent her to hospice, where I was able to make it down one more time.

        This whole thing has been such a cluster fuck. I wasn't on any of my mom's emergency contact list things, so through out this entire ordile, I was getting information from someone from someone from someone. Instead of calling ME first, her ONLY daughter, I wasn't notified of her passing. I found out 6hrs later, while I was getting up to go down and visit her again. All her family (she had 8 brothers and sisters), had been down saying their goodbyes. After her passing, they took off like bats out of hell. I didn't even get to see most of them. She couldn't afford a funeral and I was the ONLY one who wanted to see her one last time. I had to find transportation down there a day later to sign papers for her wished cremation. (Our vehicle is broke down and my mom lived 3hrs away). Noone wanted to do a little ceremony with me. Noone even would go and look at her after she'd been....prepared. This seemed so strange to me, considering all the family and friends she had that loved her.

        Now I'm dealing with more clusterfuck. Direct TV had the NERVE to view my moms passsing away as a 'breach of contract' (it was in her name) and proceeded to charge my family an extra $350. This only added insulted to injury.

        My mom had just turned 70. She'd only been 70 for a week and hadn't even gotten to celebrate because she'd been ill.

        I dont know what to do. I'm going to have to go through all of her belongings. I can't keep it all. What does one do with one's own baby teeth and childhood locks of hair? I don't want that stuff, that's for a mother to keep. My father is out of the picture and has been for years.

        My mom was my mom. We went through hell and back with my abusive father, she was my best friend, especially as I got to be an adult. She was a huge source of joy and light in my life and its gone now. I called her every day on the phone and now I can't. I even had an old message she left but the stupid answering machine ERASED it and now I'll never hear her voice again. There's hardly any pics of her over the many years because she was the one taking pics at party's and holidays and such. We went 5 YEARS without taking a pic of us together, (we were the ones always taking pictures); I was so glad I took one of us the last day I ever saw her.

        And people make these stupid comments, not realizing how painful it is. Rubbing it in how their mothers are still alive, or 'oh did she die?' and etc etc.

        I can't sleep that well, I have fucked up nightmares of her dying again or leaving me or me looking for her and not finding her. I cry myself to sleep. I wake up crying sometimes. Some days are just bad days.

        A friend of my mom's was telling me something about losing his mother, that 'there's never enough time' and he's right. Take all the time you can with your loved ones because you never know when time is up. If anyone has any advice on dealing with this, I'm all ears because I feel like I'm living a nightmare I will never wake up from.

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        munmun 

        4 weeks ago

        I am a 35-year-old man who has lost his beautiful mother.. I sob like a child for her.. I miss you dearest mom.. thank you for the precious moments we had .. thank you for making every moment beautiful! you were the light of our lives ..and you will always live in our hearts ! you are the world's best mom rumrum !

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        grace's boy 

        4 weeks ago

        day 440. Love to all of you, through the minefield of memories to come.

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        DanAlabam 

        4 weeks ago

        I just realized that I do not dream of my mother, she is not in my dreams, I only think of her as I wake up and immediately realize she is gone) Mom passed away September of 2016. She was the most important person in my life (in this world) my everything, I totally adored her.

        What gives?

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        Glenda Storey 

        4 weeks ago

        I am 40 lost my Mom on 12/09/18 she was 58 years old . My parents were married for 40 years . My mom was my best friend and Mom . I miss her very much.

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        Kristen 

        4 weeks ago

        I'm 29 years old. I lost my Mum 5 months ago, aged 60. Although she was unwell for a long time and I was her primary carer, I was completely unprepared for the enormity of her passing. I have felt a multitude of emotions and continue to do so. But I want to let those of you who are in the fresh grips of their grief that you are not alone. What you are feeling is normal. My Mum's final lesson for me was true feminine strength, and I honour her memory each day by trying to live my life with gratitude. Sending you all big hugs x

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        Susan Jamieson 

        4 weeks ago

        I am sitting here crying and can't find a way to stop. I lost my Mom almost 2 years ago and the pain and emptiness is so strong, it like she just passed. I was an only child from the time I was 12 as my sister had passed then. I am 61 years old and I feel like a child who misses their Mom. My husband is a move on kind of person and never had a close relationship with either of his parents, so he totally would not understand this sense of loss. I don't want to burden my grown children and make them sad also. There are these days where I feel like I just want to be with her. When is this suppose to start getting easier. I remember moments all through my life with my Mom like it was yesterday. Even when I was a little girl. Her look, what she was doing, or wearing. I think I am making myself feel worse talking about it. I wish I could feel her arms around me.

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        Ciera 

        4 weeks ago

        I lost my mother yesterday 12/16/2018 at 4:44am at the age of 56,, right now i just feel so numb,, i watched Her suffer for 8 months,, i Feel at peace because she’s not suffering anymore,, but i am completely lost

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        Catherine Lagman 

        4 weeks ago

        I lost my beloved Mother 2 weeks ago. All that I have read here is exactly how I feel. It is comforting to know I am not alone. And I do know and understand that pain. I too am counting the cost. I feel like I have one foot in heaven and the other in hell. Loving her so deeply. I heard a song on the radio called All of me. And I felt that was a message from her. I am her perfect imperfection. She, mine. She was always my strength. She was my terra. For the 1st time in my life I can honestly say I no longer fear death. Just to be with her and see her again. I find that reading poetry especially by Hope Edelman is comforting. All the other voices who are singing my words back to my heart is healing.

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        Nicola 

        4 weeks ago

        Thank you have just lost my mom in october

        Im an only child and super close to my mom but your wo4ds have given me so much comfort

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        Neeb 

        4 weeks ago

        I lost my 41 year old mum at the age of 13 and my sister is only 6

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        Sarah 

        5 weeks ago

        I lost my mum a few days ago on 10/12/18 she was only 55 years old and it was so sudden and unexpected. I’m 26 years old with a daughter of my own and I’m not doing very good at all.

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        clifford mulbach 

        5 weeks ago

        I am 68 years of age and I lost my mom 12/12/18 at the age of 95.

        She was old, but I miss her and love her. Her voice I have on her

        phone. This Christmas without her will be different. Both of my

        parents passed at 95 years old. How can I get over the passing

        of my mother? I have my loving wife and her family to see me thru.

        Greetings, Clifford mulbach

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        Mitchell 

        5 weeks ago

        Amen l lost my mother in February 2018 in life changed the moment i found out she was gone. I saw this very real but invisible umbilical cord that was attached to my back being cut as i saw my mother ascending upwards. I knew instantly what it was and wondered why I had never seen it. I heard a voice say I would no longer need the physical her to go through life. Yes I miss my mother tremendously but everyday i hear her teachings. Thank you so lovingly My

        Dearest of dear mama.

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        Lynda Halbert 

        5 weeks ago

        My Mum passed away, suddenly, 3 weeks ago...aged 72. The numbness has given way and reality is slowly creeping in. I so miss her, and my heart aches.

        Despite studying psychology and reading many academic texts on grief...nothing prepares you fully for losing your biggest fan, and in my case, my best friend.

        I struggle with feeling totally alone, even though I have a husband and 3 children. I know grief makes others uncomfortable, so I try to conceal my pain. I know the more I fight it, the more I’ll drown. I’m now trying to just ‘be’, let the feelings come and go, and trust the grieving process will get kinder over time. I pray it does.

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        Heather Marie 

        5 weeks ago

        I just lost my MOM yesterday December 10th at 2:24....I still cannot believe this is happening The pain is so deep

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        Denise 

        5 weeks ago

        It's been 3 weeks today and it still hasn't sunk in that she's gone. Even though I was there when she took her last breath, I still go to her empty home and look around it as if she should be there. Her shoes are right where she left them, kicking them off to sit in her favorite chair. I walked around her home saying `mom!' over and over, with the sad realization that those words would not cross my lips much longer. At least not so she could here them.

        My mom was 84 and though her death was unexpected, I still spent the time prior wondering what it would be like to lose her someday. Nothing prepared me for this.

        I read the term `untethered' the other day. It's the best description I could find. I lost my foundation, my safety net, my big sister in my adult years.

        I see and do things and my knee jerk reaction is to want to share it with her and the heavy sadness overcomes me that I no longer can.

        I am having a hard day today. At work and tears sneak up on me unexpectedly.

        I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her. I miss you Mom.

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        Sandra Crowell 

        5 weeks ago

        I also miss my mother very much. My heart yearns to feel her special sweet humble presents around me again. I hate that life has to be so sad. That people have to leave. I remember being small and feeling so safe with my mother. I wish it could be the same. I'm sorry mom I didn't appreciate your loving presents as I should have.

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        Enzo 

        5 weeks ago

        It's just gone past the one year mark, and it felt like reliving those last 10 terrible days all over as if my mother died a second time. A year on my life is meaningless and perfectly useless .

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        Bethany 

        6 weeks ago

        I lost my mother three months ago. I am so sad most of the time. My mom and I had a strained relationship most of my life. She was a very religious person (Baptist) and she had pretty high standards, always trying to impress my pastor Grandfather. That made things hard with my dad, and they pretty much fought every day when I was growing up. She pushed me pretty hard, in order to keep up appearances. When I went to college and then married, I withdrew from her because of how small she made me feel. Over the course of my adulthood, I tried to understand her, and that made it easier. I lived in Oregon and she lived in Alaska. I saw her maybe once a year, and talked on the phone about once a month. When my husband and I divorced, she actually flew down from Alaska to make sure I was ok. She purchased cute items for my apartment to make it easier for me to be there. She was there when I needed her.

        She passed away in September from a year's long battle from metastatic breast cancer. I didn't think that I would ever be this sad. After all, we didn't really get along. I have never felt this way in my life. My divorce was not half as painful. My boyfriend of 5 years and my two sons are telling me that I am like a stranger. Always either angry or crying. I feel alone. I feel like they should show me love, but they say im acting like a crazy lady.

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        Ricardo 

        6 weeks ago

        Hello.I just lost my mother early this morning.She was dealing with some physical problems.I she will remind me

        that when it happen to die to keep living my life,Dying is part of life she said.Well .I have to continue to live but

        i miss her already.Did not have chance to say goodbye.RIP MOTHER.

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        Rosa d. 

        6 weeks ago

        I lost my momma nov 27th 2018 and dont know how to deal with.I took care of her 4 half years saw her everyday .I numb right now and dont understand why this happened so fast.She was only suppose to go in hospital for blood transfutions and come home but everything went wrong afterwards and in three weeks in the hospital and three days in hospice i saw her took her last breathe.What i feel is she should still be here and im tired of people saying "shes in a better place". My mother told me she wasnt ready to go i heard this all the time from her.I feel that im living a dream and i cant wake up.That this is not real.Im trying to accept this but im having hard time accepting it.I wish for all of us to have strength and love for us to get through this.

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        Danielle 

        6 weeks ago

        Really nice article thank you just lost my mom

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        Linet 

        6 weeks ago

        I thought I was all alone...my mom my sister my best friend take her last breath in my precence...she was my everything.. My world..my entire life...the pain is so bitter to swallow..mum I love you and I will always love you...nakumiss mamangu... She died at 42

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        catherine 

        6 weeks ago

        thank you. I just lost my mom 2 weeks ago. and I keep saying from time to time I got to call mom. A big open hole in my heart.

        I miss her so much. thank you for writing this.

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        Sunita 

        6 weeks ago

        The experiences written in the article are the same I'm going through since I lost my mom. I miss her a lot

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        Mothers Daughter 

        6 weeks ago

        Thank you. This article was just what I needed. My Mom, age 68, died of Metastatic Endometrial Cancer on October 22, 2018. She was the caregiver for my Dad with Parkinson's and Crohn's Disease for several years and now my sister and I realize how big of a job that really is.Thanksgiving was the one month anniversary of her passing and now the holidays are here. I teach communication seminars, yet I am at a loss for words in the depths of my grief. What is more of a challenge is that I have two daughters. They are 16 and 9. I am trying to honor my mother while not taking away from my kids... especially at Christmas. I'm not feeling very cheerful. I cry often and I feel like I am an emotional wreck. There are times when I can't breathe. I have upcycled every flower from her funeral into several craft memorials. I look at her picture throughout the day and just miss her voice, her guidance, and her hugs. I realize there was a slow fade over the last two years, but she was only in hospice for 8 days. I try not to remember her gasping for air or writhing in pain, but these memories sneak into my mind. Thankfully, she was able to go to Germany with my sister and me in June and though she was tired, we had a great time.

        I am most challenged with now trying to deal with my Dad. He lost his wife, but expects me and my sister to "get his house in order." Then, we bag up things to donate and he confiscates items that he wants to keep. He has never done finances, so my sister has been handling that while I am in charge of his medical needs. I am trying to keep my cool and judge the illness, not my Dad, but this is just so heavy.

        I don't expect people to identify with my circumstance if they haven't been through it, but, I would appreciate any words of wisdom as I navigate a new "normal" on many levels. How can I effectively grieve my Mom while parenting my daughters and my Dad?

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        Pamela 

        6 weeks ago

        Love sing my mom very close to it help

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        Felice 

        6 weeks ago

        SKV....your post hit close to home. My mother was 95. I was her caregiver until she was placed under hospice care at home for the final 2 months of her life. She looked at me with full of love and said goodbye at 3:25 pm on Nov. 9, 2017. I have cried almost every day since. I sleep in her nightgowns to feel her hugs. I look forward to being with her. I continue to be devastated.

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        SKV 

        6 weeks ago

        My dear mother passed away on 15 March 2018. She was 82 and I helplessly watched her taking her last breath in my house. She lived with me. Yes, I was her so called caregiver but the truth is which I realised after she passed on was that she was taking care of me for almost 57 years. Never day went by without me crying for her. Sometimes I sleep on her bed, hug her clothes in her wardrobe and call out for her. The day she died, she took part of me with her, hence I am existing and not living right now. I see no joy and am tired of life. I am waiting...hoping for the day when I could embrace death happily and peacefully in my sleep. Home is wherever my mum is!

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        Linda Haylett 

        6 weeks ago

        I lost my mum seven years ago and still I have times when I feel as though she only died last week, It is the most acute pain I have ever felt. I berate myself as to why I didn't cherish her as much as I should have. I am an orphan of sixty five years old now. I want her to come back and wrap her arms around me and tell me how much she loves me. I love you mum and hope to see you when it's my turn to go. xxxx

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        sanbad 

        6 weeks ago

        The overriding emotion right now is guilt. I could have made my mother's life more comfortable. A softer bed would have been so good for her.

        I should have talked to her more often. I used to think my mother would live for a long long time. That was not to be.

        I am being told, i have to move on and that everything is temporary. But i cannot overcome this. I miss my mother very much.

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        shibu k.k thomas 

        7 weeks ago

        i lost my mother on 26 september 2018. i am devastated. i don't know what to do. god give me strength

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        Daughterless 

        7 weeks ago

        Hello , I’ve been thinking of all of you especially during the holidays. I know we are all feeling the same going through our first year of special occasions and holidays without our moms. I’m saying it but still can’t believe it. I hold on to everything I can to be near her. Mom and I are not religious but we did go to church sometimes. I am in contact with one of her friends who is very religious and what I can confirm is that speaking the word and hearing her give me comfort words about about where my mom is and what’s going on up there gives me a lot of comfort , listening to her always makes me feel better. This is the most worst feeling to endure and I’m holding on to anything I can .take care everyone and god bless

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        Jojomary 

        7 weeks ago

        Hi everyone my mother past away 1-7-2018 its going to be 1 yr. its the hardest thing to live with this pain, sadness and emptyness Now that the holidays are approaching i know it will b the hardest times i miss her every day think of her going to bed and waking up i dream of her here and there my life has been turned upside down. But we MUST go on thats what our mothers would have wanted for us to go on. God bless everyone who has lost a loved one. On your good days listen to music on ur bad days try to let it all out this is what i have been doing for last 6 months i say 6 because the first couple of months i was numb and crawled into a ball pretty much. We will never forget them and we will always carry this pain inside we will learn to manage the pain like the author Vicki of this article says (we must give our selfs those bad days) thats what we can do to keep our loved ones alive. On bad days i try to pretend shes gone on her trips when she would go when she was alive but then reality hits me again and i feel the pain again. Wrting to my mother on a journal helps some days or writing here in this webpage also helps. Life is painfull but also beautiful just stop and look around once in a while you will see what im talking about. I miss you mom and love you with all i have.

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        Mark C. 

        7 weeks ago

        Mark C.

        My dear mother made her transition November 20, 2018 at 6:52 pm. There really are no words to describe how I feel. At one moment, I feel great sorrow, anger and guilt. Guilt because I feel as though I failed to do enough for my mother's comfort while she was still living, even though she always made it known to me how she appreciated my help. But I still feel I could have helped her more than I did. I wished I hugged her and told her I loved her every single day. People tell me I shouldn't beat myself up. But still, I can't help the way I feel. Sometimes, I just cannot accept the fact that she is forever gone out of my life. I find myself believing I will see her again somewhere in another world. I guest that's just a way of finding comfort, to ease my pain. I love you mom...

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        Shock 

        8 weeks ago

        I'm 29 years old, single mother. My mom was 59 and my absolute best friend and support system. We got along so well, hung out just because we loved being around each other. We had a special bond, as I was her only daughter, and her youngest.

        On Oct 14 she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. On November 14 she died. She was a healthy, vibrant, 59 year old. She had a high-powered position and job and was the mother to my 8 year old niece, who she had adopted when her birth mother abandoned her at 3 months old. She was young and vibrant, had no preexisting health issues, so no one saw this coming. And then she died just one month later and that entire month was filled with incredibly pain and suffering that even the heaviest doses of narcotics could barely relieve.

        To lose someone so quickly, so unexpectedly, when you thought you'd have 20-30 more years with them, is devastating. But I've been getting by from the support of my family. I have my daughter, my niece (who is like my daughter, especially now that my mom is gone), my dad is very close to me, and my brothers. Aunts and uncles have been amazing as well. You have to have a support system around you. You can't go through this kind of tragedy alone.

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        Daughterless 

        8 weeks ago

        I’m laying in bed watching it’s a wonderful life , i just keep replaying it have watched it 4x in the last 48 hrs. This use to be a favorite of mine during Xmas time and now I’m trying to find meaning in it because I don’t feel like it is right now , life to me pretty much sucks, motherless Daughter

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        Daughterless 

        8 weeks ago

        I miss my mom sooo. I still cannot believe she’s gone even as I speak it now. I’m single and my kids are grown . My mom and I pretty much did everything together as she too was single well a widower like myself. I never imagined being without her I knew it would happen but just not yet I wasn’t ready. After she left the hospital we followed up with her dr , he came in and said “Kalani” which is her last name , you shouldn’t b here your strong and made a fist. He said you had renal , kidney and heart failure. He scheduled for another visit the following Friday. That following Thursday evening we went back to er That Friday am morning she wasn’t feeling good again and I asked her would you rather go to emergency room then see your dr mom , she said yes . We got there a little after 2pm and by 630 we were told she wasn’t going to make it through the night. She didn’t want to be kept alive by tubes , we let her go by 930. My life will never b the same. I’m bitter and angry, I don’t like being around daughters and mothers it breaks my heart all over again . I’m trying to believe god had plans for her and I could see my mom did suffer in her last month and I am grateful god didn’t let her suffer any longer. It’s hard for me my mom was a strong 81 . She didn’t look her age and she was young at heart. This will b my first thanksgiving without her . I’m trying I really am to move forward with my life but I can’t not now . I work all the time and offer to work almost 12 hours a day . It just hurts and I’m so sad for myself and to those who have lost your moms. God help us through this unbelievable loss. Take care everyone especially through the holidays . We lived our moms like no one else and she love her children

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        Anthony Webb 

        8 weeks ago

        I lost my mother who was 94 on October 1, 2018. I had just taken her to see her doctor 2 days before her death. I doctor told me he was concerned about be breathing and to keep a eye on her. Mon had asthma. The morning of October 1 at 6:00am I called 911 because mom was having trouble breathing, by 8:00pm mom was gone. I knew when I looked at her about 2:00pm I knew mom was ready to go. She is at peace, I took care of her by myself for over 20 years with very little help from my family. Now I am alone. I will get pass this I know. I'm retired and thinking about going back to work. I will know when I am ready. I have learned a lot reading about other people experience. Thank you for sharing

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        Waymar81 

        8 weeks ago

        I’ve posted a few times since my mom passed on Oct. 14, 2018. I cry everyday and I miss my mom more than I ever thought but reading the comments on this site help me feel less alone. I’ve been trying to get all my moms affairs in order without any help from my sister who seems to have moved on like nothing ever happened. When I told her I haven’t had time to grieve because of taking care of moms affairs she said she tried to help me grieve but I’m beyond help. That was like a stab in the heart. She just wants her inheritance so she can move. I always heard how family can get awful when it comes to money but I never thought I’d have that problem.,

        To everyone, Hapoy Thanksgiving. Be thankful you loved your mom so much it hurts. Really that is the best gift ever.

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        Angela 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mom 11/26/18 and I have not been the same since. She was my best friend, my everything and I it feels like 1/2 my heart went with her. It seems so crazy that a year has almost gone by when for me it feels like yesterday. She died 3 days after thanksgiving and I feel like someone is squeezing my heart each day the 1yr of her passing gets closer. She died from Liver disease. I was 13 weeks pregnant with my son when she died and I was so scared that everything I was feeling was going to cause me to miscarry. Me and my husband tried everything for 6yrs to get pregnant and then it finally happened right before IVF treatment and then 2 weeks later my mom was diagnosed with Liver Cancer. My world was upside down. I spent the next 5 weeks by my moms side at all appointments and at the same time terrified of the stress I was feeling while pregnant. I wanted my mom to stay alive long enough to see my son. I have my husband, 13yr old daughter and now 5 month old son but I find everyday is hard to be happy. My dad died when I was 12 and all my grandparents are gone so being 35 with no elder family is such a tough pill to swallow. I know I am not alone but I feel alone everyday. I am also extremely angry. I think it is part of my grief but the littlest of things make me so mad and I know its not far for my family, especially my husband because he definetly gets the worst of it but its stuck in my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. This Thanksgiving will be a hard one.. I would do anything to talk to my mom one more time....

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        Lin 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mom November 24th 2017. It was the day after thanksgiving. Now it is approaching the year anniversary. Also the last holiday of my first events without her which is thanksgiving . The pain is crippling . As we all know especially from the article that grief has no timeline. Even with that being said it just seems so final. The last time that I can reflect on her presence being with me within this year. Just so strange and of course the expectation is that I should be ok by now. Ofcourse with grief you learn to cover up and mask your true feelings and just function to get by. We have to go to work and take care of our children as well as be supportive to spouses. Inside I feel insurmountable pain. Hating everyday that moves closer to the anniversary. Cant believe its been a year. It all feels like it was just yesterday and my heart holds just as much pain.

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        Adriana 

        2 months ago

        I lost my beautiful mother on May 18th 2018 to Cancer. We found out she had stage 4 bone cancer on April 5th 2018. It’s been 6 months without her and I’m lost without her. I miss her hugs, our talks and her always telling me everything will be ok. I grew up without a dad so she was both my parents. She lived with me and everyday I think of her and miss her dearly. I feel when she die I left with her. The pain in your heart is the worst ever. I’m 30 years old and I need my mom forever in life. She was an amazing person the most loving and humble person. Thank God for all my family support and for him helping me cope with this and praying everyday that I trust his will. This is the most difficult thing I been through.

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        irnja 

        2 months ago

        12 Nov 2018 day i will never forget, lost mom. Miss mom so much, house is so empty without her. All so sudden. Thought she had bad flue or something, according to first dr. And before we know it she landed up in hospital, unable to breath, water on lungs, but the cause for that was cancer! but we didn't even know the cancer is back. All happend so fast. She is gone to soon, need her so much! unexpected. I wish she can come back, always thought she will become 80. She was only turned 60 the other day. Heart is broken, feeling empty.

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        Jennifer 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mom two days ago after a long battle with cancer. I stayed with her the last five months as the disease took over. I thankful she's not suffering now but I miss her so much. I'm broken.

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        Jane 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mother on November 11th 2018 at 12:31 am.

        That date is constantly ringing in my head.

        I cannot explain my feelings.

        I know death is part of life but I want my mom back.

        My heart is in pieces.

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        Jose 

        2 months ago

        I lost mine, 3 hours ago. I was at work. I played it off all day. And when I got in my car I broke down crying. I haven’t cryed in over 18 years. I am totally lost. I have never felt sadness like this. I am truly broken down.

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        Christina Greco 

        2 months ago

        I lost my Mom last night

        She is in Our Lords arms now

        Although our relationship was a windy road we made our peace

        As we again grew closer. I lose her

        And now I hate myself for All the lost time

        And I have No idea how to function without her

        PRAY FOR MY FAMILIES STRENGTH

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        San 

        2 months ago

        Dear Felice. I am totally with you on that, reading your post is like a mirror image of the relationship i had with my mum. I phoned her in the morning, saw her through the day and phoned her at nine oclock every single night to say goodnight and tell her that i loved her. Take care my thoughts are with you.

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        Felice 

        2 months ago

        Dear San,

        I lost my mother on Nov. 9, 2018. She was my best friend. We were inseparable since my father died in 1997. I have been in pain since she passed. Like you, my heart is broken. Every night we said I love you to each other and hugged and kissed. I miss her so much. My therapist said that because my love for Mom was so strong, is the reason I’m hurting. There’s no replacing her in my heart.

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        Shiela 

        2 months ago

        I Lost her September 30,2018. I was taking my board exam not knowing she's gone. That was the day I really felt what broken hearted seems like. Life has suddenly stopped for me. My mom was my life, she was my motivation and Im clueless on how and what I do with my life. I was too excited to go home to tell her how was my exams but it wont happened. Im still grieving I withdraw my self to society. I dont go out. I spend all my inside our home. Im depressed as what they say. I forgot to take care of myself. The lost of my mom was my greatest dowfall. Ill be okay soon, but not today

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        Ocean 

        2 months ago

        This is me rn. Im totally broke, clueless on how to deal life.

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        Person 

        2 months ago

        This is going to be really long so warning right here if you don't want to read an extremely long post.Anyway I'm basically going through the ssme thing, I think the situation is what makes it slightly different.So my mother was not really there for my childhood, she was unfortunately in jail.Soon she came back after about I was 7 or 6 and everything was good.I basically lived in a crack house at the time so it was not unusual for relatives or friends to leave suddenly when they got arrested and I wasn't there.My mom got in trouble again and had to go to a parol or rehibilitation center.My dad was there more than her though he was forced to become a firefighter because he did a crime.So we would visit her, it was confusing since when I was a kid I had no reason to believe she was a bad person and she was gone again.She came back after that got in trouble again and went to a different place, I can remember it clearly.She was on the very top floor of the building and had to yell down to me since I wasn't allowed inside.It seemed like an endless cycle of where when I had her back she would disapear.Finally for one last time I she came back though she was different, she basically went insane from the wrong medicine the people at the place gave her.I was scared, I was 8 at the time.I soon became scared to even go near her or speak to her since she would see things and panic at every moment.She had asthma and we finally went to my cousin's house.She had an asthma attack, my uncle was there though he waited 10 minutes before he called 911.She was unconcious by then.All I can remember are the screams of my dad and being totally confused on what was happening.She went into a coma, they pulled the plug and sge lived.It seemed like a sick joke for her to continue suffering.Though at the same time you have hope she will live.She became brain dead, though was still alive.I was 8 then at the time.Soon 5 years later she dies 2 days after my birthday.I'm now a 13 year old girl who has a bipolar father and a dead mother.I'm honestly not sure how I'm still living through my personal hell right now.Anyone else I think would've quit.There's a lot more to my life that was half horrible as this and only added to this pain.I guess diffrent situations can still have the same factors.

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        Bonnie Scotland 

        2 months ago

        For San

        Dear San

        I wish i could say or do something to help you .strangely enough i am sitting watching the Long Island Medium when something told me to check my emails and there you were on the site.sending you a big hug love B x

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        San 

        2 months ago

        It has been 11 months and 1 week since i lost my mum/best friend and I'm still struggling. How do people cope because I can't. My heart feels as though it's been ripped out.

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        Jenjimin 

        2 months ago

        I just lost my mom July 17 2018. I’m still finding myself forgetting that she’s gone. I’ll want to call her to tell her something and then it’s like “Oh, right. She’s gone.” I had a very stressful relationship with my mom but after her cancer diagnosis we said what we needed to in order to heal and move on from the past. There’s still things I wish I said or did but I know how much she loved me and I know she knew how much I loved her. She was my rock and I feel the emptiness left in her absence every day. I just wish I would stop forgetting she’s gone. When I remember it hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel shattered all over again. I know it’s a normal thing and time will help but that isn’t comforting me right now.

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