How to Go on After the Loss of Your Mother

Updated on February 14, 2018

Your mother is your first friend and playmate. She’s the one who rocked you as a baby, patched you up as a clumsy kid, and eased your heartaches as a teen. She helped you plan your wedding and coached you on the ins and outs of being a first-time mother. In a sense, your mother is the biggest part of your life. This article is about dealing with the loss of this woman.

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose your mom. I’ve had many friends throughout the years who have lost their own mothers. I felt sad for them and offered words of comfort. I cooked lasagna and bought cards to help my friends “get through” the grief. I had absolutely no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother with you.

No matter what I write in this article, if you haven’t lost your mother, you won’t fully understand the depths of grief one goes through. The pain is crippling, and it hits you at random moments. One minute you might be fine, and the next minute you are curled up in a ball on your bedroom floor in inconceivable pain. If you have lost your mother, then you’re probably sitting there nodding your head in agreement.

"The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her."

— Author Unknown

My mother passed away on September 18th, 2011. She had suffered with lung cancer for the year and a half prior to her death. Her suffering was long and difficult for everyone. We all knew Mom was going to die. In fact, there came a point when we were praying for God to take her and end her suffering.

I thought I was prepared for Mom’s passing. I’m an educated, intellectual woman. I read all the books on death, dying, and grief. I knew it would be hard, but I figured I was ready to face it head-on. After all, losing a parent is a fact of life that millions of people before me have faced. Mom was very brave and was ready to die. I was going to be brave too. I thought I would grieve for a while, and then I would be able to move on with life. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

The following is based on my experience. Your experience might be completely different, but I’ll bet most of you can find some similarities between my experience and yours.

Coping With Grief

• Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

• Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

• Remember Your Mom

• Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

• Find Your Peace

• Smile and Live Your Life

You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.
You are likely to receive a lot of support from friends and co-workers in the days immediately following your mother's death.

The first few days after your mother dies are going to feel like a blur. You will function only in that you will make funeral arrangements, contact relatives, console family members, and go forward taking care of necessary tasks. Numbness is the perfect word for this time. The funeral will come and go, and so will the relatives and well-wishers.

After the burial, it’s time for life to go back to normal, right? Wrong! Life will never be normal again. It will be different, but it will never be as it was. How could it be?

For the first few weeks, your friends and coworkers will be wonderful. They’ll offer you lots of smiles and hugs. They’ll offer to take you to dinner and they’ll listen as you talk about how bad the pain is. You’ll hear a lot of “I’m here for you”, and “If there’s anything I can do” comments during this time.

After a couple months, it will seem like people have forgotten that you lost this important part of your life. They’ll stop asking how you are, and they might even look worried when you want to talk about your mom. You see, people who haven’t gone through this pain think there’s a period of grieving and that's it. After a certain time, you should be ready to move on with your life and "get over it."

But you will never get over it. The pain will lessen, and the moments of intense grief will be farther apart, but how can you ever get over losing your mother?

Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.
Allow yourself to feel just the way you feel.

Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

Well-intentioned people will try to speed up the grieving process for you. They’ll try to keep you busy, and some of them won’t mention your mother’s name for fear of hurting you. But you must allow yourself to grieve. If you try to stay busy and put it out of your mind, it will catch up to you. You’re going to feel it at some point. It’s best to let it happen when it happens.

After Mom died, I tried to push away the grief. Any time I felt like falling apart, I would take deep breaths and get busy with something else. This worked for a little while, but not for long. The pain was not going away, and I needed to feel it. One night—two months after Mom’s death—I was sitting at the dinner table with my husband and children. The kids were talking about their day, and I was trying to actively listen. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I knew what it was, but was trying to ignore it. You see, grief is a very physical thing. You literally feel physical pain. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I got up and ran to my bedroom. My husband gave me some time alone. When he finally came in to check on me, I was curled up on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. After that night, I learned to allow myself to feel the pain. I didn’t ignore it anymore.

Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.
Your feelings will move up and down in an unpredictable way.

Don't Put a Time Limit on Your Grief

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there's no set time limit on the process.The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is not entirely accurate, but not entirely inaccurate either. I don't know if the wound of losing a mother is ever healed. The pain does get more bearable over time. But how long it should take? No one can say.

Five months after my mother passed away, the parent of one of my students died. I knew this man well, and I wanted to help my student. I planned to go to the funeral, but then the day before, I realized I couldn't do it. I hadn't been in a funeral home since Mom's wake, and I nearly hyperventilated just thinking about it. I told a friend I wasn't going, and she became aggravated. Her words were, "Your mom died in September. Don't you think it's time you moved on?" I probably don't have to point out to you that this woman's mother is still very much alive. I'll be honest, I felt like something must be wrong with me. Why wasn't I able to move on? Now, I realize that I was still grieving. I wasn't following any timetable, and it was okay.

Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.
Let yourself remember both the good and the bad things about your mom.

Remember Your Mom

That heading sounds silly. Of course, you're going to remember your mom. She was your mom! What I mean here is that you should remember your mom for who she was—the good and the bad.

I spent months remembering my mom as this perfect human being who was, by far, the greatest mother who ever walked the earth. Mom was a wonderful person, but let's face it, she's was human. After a few months, I started having memories of the real mother I grew up with. She wasn't perfect, and we didn't always get along. Mom had a knack for being negative toward me, and I wasn't always patient with her. Putting Mom up on a pedestal wasn't fair to her, and she would've hated it.

Yes, remembering the bad times isn't always easy. Regret may rear its ugly head, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You can't push it away, because like the grief, it will find you. As they say, it is what it is. My mom knew I loved her dearly, and I knew the same about her. We didn't have the perfect relationship, but in the end, I was there by her side. I watched as she took her last breath, just as she watched me take my first. She was my mother. The good, the bad, and the ugly ... she was my mother, and I loved her.

Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.
Even long after your mother's death you will have days when you miss her dearly.

Allow Yourself to Have Bad Days

It's now been a year and a half since Mom passed away. I miss her dearly, especially when I go visit my Dad. I hold up pretty well, though. I can laugh and smile as I tell my kids something Mom used to say when I was a child. I can crank up her favorite songs and sing as loudly as she would. I would say, I'm doing pretty well.

Some days are tougher than others. One reason I wrote this article is that yesterday was a particularly rough day for me. I woke up craving my mother's voice. I wanted to call her and hear her laugh. I wanted her to make me laugh. Mom had the best sense of humor of anyone I've ever known, and I needed that yesterday. I cried several times yesterday, and it was okay. I let myself feel the grief again. Those days will come, no matter how long it's been. Let it come.

Do the things you enjoy.
Do the things you enjoy.

Find Your Peace

People find comfort in different things. For some people, taking a walk helps. For others, a long, hot bath does the trick. The important thing is not WHAT you do, but that you do something for you.

There may be songs, smells, or images that bring comfort to you as well. For me, it's the sight of a hummingbird. This was Mom's favorite animal, and she had several items around her house with the tiny creature on them. During one of the darkest moments of my life—Mom's funeral—a hummingbird flew to the window of the church and lingered there for a minute. I have caught glimpses of hummingbirds a few times since then, and it they have brought me great peace. Silly? Maybe, but you find whatever works for you. Don't let anyone diminish those moments. I truly believe they are meant to help us.

Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.
Let yourself smile when you feel ready to.

Smile and Live Your Life

At some point after your mother's death, you will find reasons to smile again. I think this is one of the greatest things we can do to honor our moms and the love we have for them. Find joy again. Laugh heartily. Love deeply. Live like your mother would want you to.

On those days when you just miss your mom, don't fight it. Allow yourself to miss her. A wise friend of mine said, "Your mother deserves to be remembered. She deserves to be missed."

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Bubba56 

        103 minutes ago

        My mom was diagnose with Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis in 2005 and was given a second chance at life with a single lung transplant.

        I decided at that time that I would give all of me to take care of her.

        I had my own house, but I moved in with her and took care of her 5 days a week because I was single so you can say I was her caregiver for 14 years and so we develop a very good relationship as son and mom. My mother wanted to buy me stuff all the time to show me how much she apricated me taking care of her and would tell me every day she would not have made it this long with out me. In the last two years of her live she was in and out of Hospitals and rehabs for broken bone from all the medications she had to take to stay alive but my heart was always there for her and I was able to fix it.

        But on May 2nd 2019 she passed away which happen to be my sister Birthday and it hurt me so bad that I would think about if I had a million dollars I would buy her back from haven. My life feels upside down and a void that I can not fill and a lost in my soul that I might never find. It as been one of the hardest things that I have had to go thru. I pray ever night that god would help me find peace and help me grief the lost of a wonderful mother, that put everybody first but herself. The hurt is so deep that I feel like that it maybe a long time before I feel some what normal again and that is scary to me.

        But my mother would not want me to suffer, she would want me to find someone and settle down and be happy!

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        Christina83 

        27 hours ago

        Yhe words in Your article will save me more times than i even know

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        Heather 

        39 hours ago

        Thank you for writing this.... my beautiful mom, my best and only truest friend died April 14, Palm Sunday 2019 . She was 71.. was with her in and out of hospital and living at my parents home since December 2018 never left her side..slept in office chairs on the floor, I just couldn’t leave her... now she’s left me... my dad ... I’m now with him...every day 2-9pm taking care of the business sides of death etc..and like a ton of bricks crushing me Mother’s Day came and I now cannot get myself together... the sadness heartbreak needing to hear her voice ... I am stuck in the deepest hole hoping it will stop hoping for a sign from her she’s alright I’m patient.. however I’m physically feeling grief my chest is heavy my mind won’t shut off so I can rest I am compelled to carry her ashes, my small portion of her wherever I go ...talking to her like she’s still here... your article brings me hope thank you kindly. Heather

      • profile image

        Grace's boy 

        2 days ago

        day 590. One day there will be new tears, without howling or sobbing. You let them gently explore your face and know it is the beginning of peace.

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        R.Smith 

        3 days ago

        My mom passed on Wed May 15, after mother’s day and before her birthday on May 22nd. I can’t put into words what I feel because the strongest person you know and the first person you loved is gone. My mom lived with me the last few months and there are many things here that are just like they were when she left. Her final room number was 2211, 22 her birthday and 11 is mine.

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        Cp 

        4 days ago

        Tomorrow is gonna be my 32 birthday, the first one without my dear mummy by my side. I miss her so much, it’s been less than 3 months since she passed away due to cancer.. and my tears don’t stop running on my face.. for a few days I was about fine and I haven’t cried so much, but since mother’s day I can’t stop crying. I miss her terribly, I’d love to be waken up by her wishing me happy birthday like every year, and i’d Love to unwrap her present, but tomorrow will be very different and sad... I miss you mummy and I love you with my entire soul

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        Susie 

        6 days ago

        my lovely mum died just yesterday. the pain is so intense. she was a kind lady loved by all.

        i just can’t imagine not having her here anymore.

        she had 82 wonderful happy years which is what will be my focus. but just cannot think or imagine her not being there for me.

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        Marilyn 

        7 days ago

        Mother’s Day was the first one since my mom passed on Oct. 14, 2018. I brought a bouquet of beautiful flowers to the cemetery for mom and my dad who are together. I thought that day would be the hardest but tomorrow is going to be the really sad when my childhood home where my mom lived till she passed away is closing escrow.. I’m going over one more time but I know I can drive by anytime to see it or visit the neighbors. It’s really tough trying to move on but it’s part of life. I will see my mom again and that keeps me going.

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        Clinton 

        7 days ago

        This is my second Mothers Day without mom. I went to her grave site just yesterday to put flowers on her grave, along with Dad laying next to her which I miss dearly also. I couldn't go on Sunday due to bad weather. Two beautiful bouquets of her favorite color of flowers (Pink, White, Lavender and Purple Carnations and Roses). One for her and one for Dad. I wrote in before saying that time heals but oh how long will it be before I can feel the healing. I don't know, I just don't know. I love you Mom. You will always be close to me in my heart.

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        Missy Wilson 

        8 days ago

        I ran across this article (which was wonderful by the way) as I am also having a "bad day" today. Not all days are bad, but there is this nudging feeling in the pit of my stomach every day. I recently lost my mother to esophageal cancer. In addition she suffered a stroke on new years eve 2017. I had this connection with my mother than I cannot describe and miss her dearly.

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        Motherless Daughter 

        9 days ago

        Today I spent almost two hours at the cemetery with mom. Even though I have grown kids now For me Mother’s Day has always been about her , and since it’s my day too I chose to b with her. The other day my daughter told me mom we will never forget nana and everyone deals with grief differently. She said mom don’t lose yourself to keep nana alive .we will never forget her but she’s worried about me. Mom was very strong never wore her emotions on her sleeve . I’m different because I do. It’s true losing our moms changes us in so many ways and I do feel like I’m losing myself no matter how hard I try Today I woke up trying to change that even if just a lil , I put on something nice because I actually cared and i wanted to look nice for mom ,it helped. Took mom flowers and sat with her awhile. I cried so hard and I just feel so exhausted. But as heartbroken as I am life does go on for me even without mom . I love u mom Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day❤️

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        Shaishav Berry 

        9 days ago

        This is such a deep and well written article. I so much needed to be here somehow. I lost my mother in September 2018, just 13 days before my 24th birthday. And to be honest, I will never be the same person again. I miss her terribly and I completely agree to the point that grief is such a physical thing to feel. I cry in between work, whenever I’m alone and to be honest, no amount of people or work can bring peace to me. And, to our misfortune, I couldn’t do anything to save her. Now, I mostly write about her and remember her,that’s how I manage to do what my mom taught me to be, to become a good man for the society.

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        Felice 

        10 days ago

        Dear Heather..

        I, too, am having a more difficult time on this Mother’s Day, my 2nd without my Mama by my side. It’s a very lonely time. There’s such a huge hole in my heart from her physical absence. Tears haven’t stopped from anticipation of this day. I don’t have her to spoil anymore. 20 years of just the 2 of us enjoying life. Now I’m alone even when there are others around. I am lost.

        It’s 4 o’clock in the morning and I’m unable to sleep.

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        Wayne 

        10 days ago

        I lost my mother on May 6, 2019...Mother’s Day is tomorrow and her birthday is Tue....she would be 81. She was my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I am heart broken, and shaking as I write this. I feel like I have entered a long dark tunnel with no light at the end. It’s suffocating me.

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        Debbie 

        10 days ago

        My Mom passed away two days ago. Mother's Day is tomorrow. How will I go through this??? Grieving so hard right now.

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        Paromita Mukherjee 

        10 days ago

        Today is Mother's Day. I miss my Mom terribly. Everybody thinks that I m normal. Only I know what is happening within me.I lost the charms of living a meaningful life.Waiting eagerly to meet her again....perhaps somewhere..in some other world.

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        Jo's Thom 

        10 days ago

        My 1st Mother's Day without my mom! I will try to spend the day remembering all the happy times we shared together throughout our lives. My emotions and thoughts are running wild. My wonderful mom was my life so this day will be tough to get through! I know she will be with me in spirit for sure. I will always love and miss my mom forever!!!!

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        Rebeca 

        12 days ago

        I lost my beautiful mom last year in October. At that time, I was preparing to bring her home after 7 long years in a nursing home when she had a fall that took her life. During those 7 yrs I cared for her the best I could in an impossible situation. She knew the core of me; how to get me to laugh, give me valuable advice and just love me. Everything in my life surrounded caring for her. A tsunami of sadness overtook me when she passed. Nothing is important anymore. I love my mom and miss her profoundly. I can relate so much to this article. I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing about loss of mother.

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        Heather 

        12 days ago

        This is my second mothers day without my mom..and i find it harder this time.. my heart is just broken. I havent stopped crying for days now..

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        Melissa 

        12 days ago

        I lost my beautiful Mum and best friend last October. I know some of my friends are fed up with my sadness. I’m not going to make it. She was my world and there’s no point in anything anymore.

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        Tom 

        13 days ago

        hi james-

        my mom passed on january 19, 2019. i took care of her for almost 5 years. from your post you sound like you definately need to talk to someone in person regarding your mom. if she has not passed yet talk to the professionals who are attending to her care. you need to let them know that you are not doing well at the moment. find whoever you can that can give you some time for you to let it all out. dont delay. most who post on here know exactly what your feeling. i know i do. i was having several good days when i felt secure with myself after my moms passing. things seemed to have smoothed out a little bit. then today i woke up at 4 am which is something i have not done since her passing and felt terrible about her passing. it was as though it was just yesterday. all those same feelings and emotions returned to me. the mind is so complicated. find someone in person to talk to james. start now. take care-tom

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        Thom P. 

        13 days ago

        Gary

        Thank you so much for your comforting words of advice! I know our mom's meant the world to us for sure. I'm glad to know that other people feel the same as I do. Losing our Mom is the worst experience of our lives!!! Our love for our mom's are why we are in such deep sorrow and pain. My mom was my everything! I'm still so completely lost and lonely without her. I feel as if I am living in a totally different place that I do not know now! Every happy memory of us together for 57 years now hurts so much without her. I miss my sweet mom's voice and presence every minute of the day and night!! It is so hard for me to accept that she is not physically here with me. I still feel like I'm in a blur and nothing seems real. Hopefully our pain and sadness will lessen for us some day. Take care!

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        T Johnson 

        13 days ago

        I lost my Mom recently on April 2, 2019. Her 42 birthday was April 10. It’s one of the hardest things to go through in life. It hurts physically and mentally. Grieving has no time frame. Mother’s Day is right around the corner lord help us all.

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        Motherless Daughter 

        13 days ago

        I am grateful for this sight . It’s true grieve as often as you need to and this sight has allowed me to do that. Thank you

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        Grace's boy 

        2 weeks ago

        day 578. James ,tell us what is happening ...

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        gary 

        2 weeks ago

        Dear Thom P the loss of my.darling sweetheart mother in may 2017 is the most.n devastating event of my life.I miss her very deeply.I cry for her everyday. She is with us and trying to.communicate with us. Oh how my heart.aches with.such.pain and sorrow. We all.have to be strong .Everything you feel and experience.is what.I am experiencing.Hopefully for our sakes the pain will lessen. Talk to people that will listen tell them of your pain and loss. in doing so you are keeping your mother alive.She was a person. Express openly your love for her. If you cry in the shop the supermarket elevator in the train in the cinema anywhere. it matters to you do it thats how you wish to grieve grieve as much as you want and wherever you want.Dont worry what people think. I love ny darling mum very very.much .We will always be together. That is you what you.say I love you I am always with you. Please take care

        her everyday.

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        Thom P. 

        2 weeks ago

        Felice, Our wonderful mom's deserve to be remembered, cherished, and loved forever!!!!

      • profile image

        Motherless Daughter 

        2 weeks ago

        These last two weeks for me haven’t been good , I went into the store and seen mom balloons , flowers I just felt I do not want to go back in until after Mother’s Day is over it’s just too hard and although I’ve been getting through the loss day by day it hasn’t been ez I’ve been crying and just work and go home , as I sat on my porch yesterday I started to think is this how my life is going to be like because mom is gone. I have kids and grandkids a lot to be grateful for and live for, grandkids who make me smile and keep me bz with sports. I still can’t believe it . We purchased a marker a year after her passing 03/31/18 & now I’m waiting on the cemetery to set it , I have been as strong as I can but that just doesn’t seem possible when you lose mom.i pushed to get the marker bcuz I didn’t want her in an unmarked grave where no one knew where she was , nope not my mom.i don’t know how I will feel when I see it , seeing her name , making it final that she’s gone . I just don’t know. I pray for all of you on this page & that may god be with you on mother’s day. Take care & god bless

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        Felice 

        2 weeks ago

        Thom P.

        It’s as if I wrote your post except my mother passed in Nov. 2017. I’m feeling exactly like you. Mother’s Day is less than a week away and I’m missing her so much.

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        Thom P. 

        2 weeks ago

        My sweet mother passed on Aug 31st 2018.I miss her more each and every day so very much!!! My life will never be the same as I feel my heart has broken into a billion pieces!!! I find every day now harder to exist without her. My pain and loneliness without my mom most days is unbearable because we were so close!!! Life just seems so meaningless to me now with out my mom!!! .It's almost seems impossible for me to get through because I feel she was my reason for being!! I know she is here with me in spirit but it is just not the same as her physical presence. She was my best friend and we were always together everywhere!!! Places we use to visit together I can no longer go. I grieve more each day now for my adoring mom that I miss so much and will love always and forever until we are together again for eternity!!!!

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        Holly 

        2 weeks ago

      • profile image

        San 

        2 weeks ago

        It is 17 months today since i lost my mum, best friend and soul mate. The pain is as intense today as it was on the 5th December 2017, the day i lost her and my heart shattered into tiny pieces. I love you mum. X

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        Charm 

        2 weeks ago

        Hi Anon,

        I definitely relate to your pain. It will be three years this coming September. I miss my mom terribly. There are days when the pain of missing her is unexplainable. I have family and friends but I still feel lonely without my mom. I enjoy my career. I laugh and have fun. At the end of the day sometimes I can’t wait to go home. To be alone. Sometimes it is hard to be on a front but I manage. The transition of my mom changed my life forever. I am grateful to be living but life is not the same.

        Stay prayerful for all that has lost their mom. Keep God first.

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        JAMES 

        2 weeks ago

        MY MOM IS GOING TO DIE ANY DAY NOW, MY MOM IS 89 I CRY ALL DAY AND NIGHT.I MAY NOT MAKE IT.CANCER HAS TAKEN MY HOLD FAMILY BUT ME AND MOM,TEARS JUST KEEP ON FALLING NON STOP,I THINK THAT I AM IN TROUBLE AND NEEDS SOME HELP. SOME BODY PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE.

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        Felice 

        2 weeks ago

        My mom died on a Thursday afternoon, 11/9/17, at 3:25 pm. Ever since that Thursday, every Thursday has been hard for me. The last loving look she gave me before she shut her eyes and took her last breath are etched in my aching heart. I miss her so very much. She was my best friend. For 20 years we were together enjoying our lives side by side. Now I have nothing but memories. I want to hug her, kiss her and tell her I love her. The hurt doesn’t go away. Today is Thursday, such a painful day.

        And soon it will be Mother’s Day and it will the 2nd Mothers Day I won’t have my mother around to spoil. My heart is forever broken.

      • profile image

        Anon 

        2 weeks ago

        Having one of those bad days today where I’m missing my mum terribly, I miss her every day but some days the pain is more Intense than others. I’ve found since losing mum the hole in my life and sadness in my heart has never gone away, I’ve just got so much better at putting on a brave face and front. She passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly August 2018 at the age of 67. I’ve been listening to a couple of songs, “supermarket flowers” by Ed Sheeran, and “Hurts” by Christina anguilera, I can relate to them and it sort of says how I feel if that makes sense. This article and other comments makes me realise I’m certainly not alone, it’s so easy to feel so alone when you lose your mum - I have a lovely husband and 4 fairly young children but it’s still a lonely world without my wonderful mum in it.

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        Grace's boy 

        2 weeks ago

        day 567. I meant to add, 'because everything continues'

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        Jane 

        2 weeks ago

        My Mum passed away on the 16th March 2019, aged 88, following a brain haemorrhage. Fortunately I was with her at the time and also at the end so was able to hold her and give her a kiss goodbye. I am missing her so much, more than I could ever have imagined but take comfort from other peoples comments and realise that my pain is normal, its what other people feel when their Mum dies.

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        Grace Little Nimphy 

        2 weeks ago

        Thanks... Ur words helps me alot... I lost my mom on 14/06/2018... I have gone another place for my higher studies... The whole year i dnt feel the pain... My studies over i returned home i cant do anything everyplace every little things make me brust out... I dnt know when will i come out... When will i smile agai

      • profile image

        Melissa 

        3 weeks ago

        I lost my mother three years ago, I still cry, I still feel the ache. She suffer from dementia before she died. Feel like I lost her twice. Still have really bad days

      • profile image

        Grace's boy 

        3 weeks ago

        day 570. Hymn to Her - The Pretenders.

      • profile image

        Grace's boy 

        3 weeks ago

        Day 567. The promise of spring and the missingness of Mum were being a discord beyond words. Impossible antagonists. Cruelteasers. Then it clicked. All of nature is trying to tell us that the afterlife is another version of spring, even better than this one.

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        Lisa 

        3 weeks ago

        Two weeks Now. Feel numb one minute then reality. Thank You for Your article. Miss My Mom.

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        Jessica 

        3 weeks ago

        It hasnt even been a week... I feel like happiness is gone. Thank you for your article.

      • profile image

        Mandy 

        3 weeks ago

        I lost my mum 42 years ago . It doesnt get any easier ! It's taken part of my life away ! I find it hard to cope as ive never had any closure ! X

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        Kim 

        3 weeks ago

        Thank you

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        Markita H 

        3 weeks ago

        Thanks for sharing. I lost my grandmother on 03-06-19 then I lost my mother a week and a day later. The pain is unexplainable.

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        Liz B. 

        3 weeks ago

        I needed this so much. Its been 8 months since my mother's murder and its hurting more then ever.

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        Motherless Daughter 

        3 weeks ago

        Thank you Jeanne for sharing . I really appreciate it and I’m looking forward to watching it

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        Jeanne Marie 

        3 weeks ago

        I lost and my mom and my best friend on April 3rd of this year. I feel for everyone who has posted here. I loved my mom so much and it hurts so much to be without her. I am totally devastated by the loss of her company. But one thing that is helping me a lot is an audio tape called the Grace in Dying. I just wanted to post it here in case it helps anyone else. It is helping me to realize that this is not just a time of pain and grief, it is a time of Grace. And if we allow the pain to overwhelmed and overcome us, we miss that ever present Grace that connects us to the very person we want to be with most. So I appeal to you, to give yourself one moment of reprieve from the pain, and open your heart and allow yourself to feel your mom's prescence there. You cannot be with her in body anymore, that is impossible, and is what causes us so much anguish. But you can be with her in spirit and she can and will be with you everywhere you go in every situation if you just open your heart and let her in. You may feel that opening your heart to your mom at this point is only going to cause you more pain, but I promise it will actually heal the pain and you will feel peace and comfort from her. You have nothing to lose but to try it... Someone suggested it to me, I didn't want to try it because I was afraid of the pain, but I did it anyway and it filled me with the most intense and beautiful peace. When the pain comes now as it inevitably will, I try to open my heart and feel the love and peace she's offering me. And I am here offering that same love and peace to all of you who lost your mom and are still hurting do badly....

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        Motherless Daughter 

        4 weeks ago

        Debbie my heart goes out to you in your recent loss, as well as all of us on this page . I made my first year on March 31 2018 on Good Friday

        so I have made it through all the holidays & I think the reason is I feel I was in shock of her loss. Mother’s Day has got to be and will always be the hardest. I feel even though this is the second event without her I feel like it will b my first because I’m in reality now and feeling it all. Their are no words but I did find and believe god and my family helped me through , even though at the time I felt like it was not enough . I still turn to god it’s the only faith I have through this pain .take care everyone

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        Debbie 

        4 weeks ago

        My mom died on nov 28 2019 as time is going on i seem to be getting worse and worse there are days i feel like i cant go on i miss her so bad we were never apart it is so hard i cry all the time and go into panic i feel for all of us who have lost our moms .

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        CRYING 

        4 weeks ago

        I just lost my mom a few hours ago. Every memory is just flashing through my mind. For me it hurts because I wasn't there when my mom died. She died in Africa where she lives. My mom had me when she was 16 and she died aged 35. RIP MAMA Gone but never forgotten.

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        Waymar81 

        4 weeks ago

        My mom died on Oct 14,2018 and I have the same exact feelings of being in places I didn’t know anymore. I took care of my since 1989 when my dad died so it was very hard for me to accept she was gone. Believe me it gets better but you will have moments even days where your feeling of total sorrow come back in waves. Just do what you can to hold on until the feelings pass. Keep busy and live your life because your mom would be very upset if she knew you stopped living your life to the fullest. That seems impossible now but you will feel emotionally better as time passes. There is no exact time frame for the grieving process. Just pray and thank God your mom is not suffering anymore. She is in paradise waiting for you when it’s your time. All of us go through this, that’s life as awful as it seems. I think of my mom daily and wish she was here too but she is with all her friends and family that already passed so I’m not worried about her. I just have to learn how to accept it and keep moving forward. It’s scary, overwhelming, sad but these are normal emotions all people feel when someone they love passes away. Take care.

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        Clelia 

        4 weeks ago

        My mummy passed away 4th March, and I am not able to accept she will never come back to me by my side. I am an only child and since that day my life has changed completely. I am totally upside down, I just wanna be on my own, I don’t wanna go out with my friends, and I quit with my fiancé after 9 years.. I am angry, sad, empty and hollow.. the most painful thing is that This black hole I have now in my heart will lasts forever and I only have to accept it and live with it.. this is scaring me and making me feel terribly alone. She was the most important person of my life, beyond all other people in my life and family, but a liever cancer dragged her away from me.. this is the most painful feeling. It is indescribable, only people who were so close to a person and lost they, can understand..

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        Jolene 

        4 weeks ago

        I lost my mom on 4/6/19 due to advanced lung cancer. She was my best friend and raised me as a single mother. My father passed away in Oct last year, and I am an only child never married and no children. I lost my whole family within 5 months and dont know how to move on with my life. My mom is gone forever and i am finding it difficult to even wake up in the morning. I dont want to because all i have is emptiness. My family isnt talking to me and i never had friends. I am literally all alone now. My mom battled breast and lung cancer for 4 years now, and I was the only one there every step of the way. I would do it all over again just to be able to give her a hug again.

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        Dine 

        4 weeks ago

        Thanks for your writing, it was slight relief to my huge grief after loss of my mother on 16th April.

        No one can imagine how hard the pain until you loose your mother. Even though I was a good son as I think, I am still thinking of what I could have done to make her comfortable and it hurts me a lot.

        I love you my ever loving mother until my last breath.

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        lonelyman 70 

        4 weeks ago

        I lost my mom on the 12th of april 2009 and it still hurts why does it not get any easier

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        dave38 

        5 weeks ago

        7 month next week my beautiful kind mum passed away 24th sep 132am life has not been the same since an dont think it ever will be im beyond consolable i started greiveing counselling 2 month ago an iff i be honest it aint really helping but that dont mean it wont help others people who still have there mum dont have a slighest clue off this undescriable pain day in day out im just so empty a void that cant be filled with money love nothing .people starting to tell me is been 6month i should get on with my life a patner who as no understanding at all and is actually jealous to the core off how much i love my mum and when i say mum is the love off my life says it is creepy an strange and makes me feel in adequate like im wrong or something my mum was my fuxxxing life my world my everything and i worshipped the ground she walked on i am so empty so confused so baffled with peoples responses not on here but in life in general is almost as iff im weird for feeling how i feel and i should be ok the resentments an anger im holding are unbearable i feel i wont to hurt someone so bad an is so unhealthy but i guess some people may not give a sxxt about there parents that i can not get my head around my mum was loyal tonthe core i not been a great person in my life time in an out off jail most my childhood life an no matter what she always there im trying to get as honest as i can coz i truly feel other than this group no.one has a fuxxxing clue about this pain and god ive experianced pain in my life as god my witness but nothing measures up to this the last 8 years off my life i have cleaned up no trouble no alcohol no drugs nothing and gave my mum the son she always wanted and despite everything ive done not so good ..ive never ever disrespect my mum never once said F.to my mum she has always been my whole world my everything and no matter how i feel i will never use drugs or anything again in honour off my mum i no i can never be the person she was .well im a male so that would kinda be hard anyway LOL .but god this pain is brutal im at the cemetary most days 1st 4 months was there every single day without fail i feel so much resentment to my partner she has said some un.forgivable stuff what i wouldnt share on here and has no clue atall off what this is like i miss my mum more than anyone could ever imagine not a day goes buy i dont cry like a baby an now certain people in my life trying to make me think it aint normal.what aint normal is that people cant feel like that about the women that bought us intonthis world un.conditional.love many times i think i dont wanna go on practically every day to be honest but im not that selfish to act on how i feel im 39 and anova 30/40 years before i see her again makes me so bitter every night i go asleep i say 1 day closer mum and i no that aint healthy but i have no control over my thoughts but i do my actions ..thats why i act diffrent to how i think coz iff i acted on my thoughts i wouldnt be here now writing to a forum god is so hard and u never get over it u get through it and thats about it life will never be the same no matter how hard i try and is trying to accept that is bullshit theres nothing that could ever happen to me i a lifetime that could ever compare to this pain my one best freind theres nothing i wouldnt do to have 5 more minutes with my mum the most beautiful loyal kindest women to ever walk this planet i just thank god i never in all her life disrespected her for that im grateful indirectly i broke her heart many times in an out off jail bit directly she has always been my world sorry iff ive been a bit deep just need to get it out no one is perfect but our mum.s were the love off my life is that creepy ?? whever itis or not is my truth an always will be i worship u mum with every part off me an will love to my very last breathe nothing compares to u mum god i love u x

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        Grace's boy 

        5 weeks ago

        day 555. Gary forgive me. Thank you for your message, that has been said to me too. I recognised it was the perfect way, I even got there once. Trouble is we are rarely in charge of our thoughts now. They slip seamlessly from love into loss, from gratitude to deprival. We could catch it if we knew about heaven. Stay strong.

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        pallavijog 

        5 weeks ago

        Hi, I lost my mom last Friday and I am just starving to get relief. Somehow because of my son, I am able to gather myself. She passed away suddenly due to massive heart attack. No other ailment, no diseases, never admitted to hospital. Just had a marginal BP problem but I suppose it slowly killed her. Its horrible to drag the day by day. I am not able to concentrate on my work.

        I have decided to take the help of a therapist who said that she will be definitely be helpful to me. She asked me to come back after 2 months and then therapy sessions will be started.

        I hope something comes out of it.

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        gary 

        5 weeks ago

        Dear Sam I am so very sorry. for your loss.I know what you are going through because I lost my darling mum two years ago this may and I.am.so heartbroken.I cry most.days and when I at work.or go.out I hide my sadness my pain my sorrow.Grief is.a roller coaster ride.Its. especially horrible when I am alone the demons.are there. Grieve the way you want dont let.anybody.tell.you how to grieve and when to grieve.Only mix.with.people that are.compass ionate and care for you.Express your.sorrow as to many.people as you.Talk cry.Dont swallow

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        Mg 

        5 weeks ago

        I lost my mum on Tuesday and I feel like I'm drowning, nothing anyone says is giving me comfort, my mum was ill and was getting better then just died, I'm so angry, I miss her so much it physically hurts

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        Motherless Daughter 

        5 weeks ago

        Cont. today I took my grandsons who are 16, 10 and 8 for pizza but before going we stopped andtook mom flowers which is something I normally do every couple of weeks . I asked first if they wanted to go because I wasn’t sure how they would feel and they said yes. My 16 was a lil emotional but the other two seemed ok when we left I told her I loved her always and the 10 year old said love you nana.

        I will always remember mom and speak of her often more than my other family members. It’s natural for me since I was around her all the time. I guess for my brothers it’s not as ez but I will continue to keep her alive for as long as I breathe after all she did care for me , my kids and their kids. She truly was my rock, how was I going to go on , make her proud when I myself was torn and the only person to help me through it was gone. Seconds into minutes into hours into days months and now a year, how could I have made it without her, mayb I am stronger than I think and her love for me is still strong and in spirit. And that’s why I am getting through it , one second, minute, hour, day and month at a time.I knew when I lost her I was either going left and give up or right. Im glad to say I chose right but I feel I did it more for her and I worked very hard which I received a raise and also a promotion. I cried because she wasn’t there to share it and tell me that’s great miha but she was there because I heard her or mayb I wanted to hear her. I’m 54 and My kids are grown and now I spend time with my grandkids doing for them what she did for mine. It’s still hard to believe she’s not here but theirs no doubt I believe she is in a better place and no longer suffering and that’s what I want for mom... in heavenly peace.Motherless daughter

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        Linda 

        5 weeks ago

        I lost my sweet mother 6months ago but it might has well been today my heart is aching thinking of her.sometimes I feel Iike it's a dream a horrible one I feel so lost without her.she always had time to listen and I felt stronger because of it but now who will listen I feel so alone .My sisters and I took care of everything after she died the house etc.now it's over but I can't let go of her....I live 2houses from hers and all that's left are her beautiful flowers I remember her in that yard gardening even when she could barely do it.Life just seems so exhausting...it takes a lot of energy to live it now because my mom is gone

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        Motherless Daughter 

        5 weeks ago

        May 30, 2018 marked a year losing mom. I was very angry, torn and in spite of my kids and grandkids I felt I wanted to be with mom . Ive lost a husband a dad but nothing could compare to this type of loss. My heart hurted something awful, I literally felt if the pain got stronger I was going to die & I was ok with that because I would be with her. But mom wanted something more for me if that makes sense because where she’s at is so beautiful. Today , I don’t feel as angry, I’m spending time with my family and taking care of me and I think back at times of her illness and if I missed something but then I think mom is gone and nothing I do will bring her back and that I need to focus on the time I had with her and be greatful . Is it enough , probably not but it has to be for my life to move forward. I think of the laughs we had and then their are days where I cry but those days believe it or not are fewer. The first year I isolated myself from everyone, cried everyday all day sometimes, I took off 3 mos from work. Nothing or no one made me happy & the smiles were fake.But for me it helped and I feel that did me a world of good dealing with it in my own way .. i miss my mom everyday & always will. I thank god for giving me mom. I love you always

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        Sam Trujillo 

        5 weeks ago

        My mom just died a few weeks ago. Mom was my best friend and I'm still trying to cope. Everything looks so gray. I go outside and I don't see color, if that makes any sense. The inner happy of my soul feels like it has been taken away. Every breath feels harder and harder to take. If I could describe the feeling it would be like someone is literally pulling my heart out of my chest and cutting it with a steak knife right down the middle, over and over each time I think of her. I break down frequently and I can't take this pain. The more someone says it will get better it just takes time, makes me want to scream. Mom was my best friend, she suffered her whole life with her illness, the day before she passed we talked for a little bit. We were both happy. I spent most my younger years and my adult years taking care of her, I can't understand why it's so hard to heal or even get better from this. I lost my soul mate my one true person who understood me, she was my pal, my best friend and my heart.

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        Felice 

        5 weeks ago

        I’ve posted here a few times. It’s a good place to share our mutual feelings about losing our beloved mothers. It has been 17 months since my mother died and they have bern the most grueling months I have ever spent. She was under hospice at home for the last 6 weeks her life. I thought I was ready. I even gave her permission to go because I can tell she was having breathing difficulties and didn’t open her eyes since the day before. But, my mom had dementia and the last weeks of her life, she kept seeing her dead siblings and my dad. She said they were there to pick her up. One day I walked in on her talking to somebody and when I asked who she was talking to, she pointed at the wall and said Jesus and those angels, as she smiled. The day before she died, I asked if she wanted to join Papa. She nodded yes which was different from other times I asked in the past. And that’s when I told her she can. I never left her side during thise times. On Thursday, Nov. 9, 2017, at 3:25 pm, she opened her and looked at me with so much love then shut them and stopped breathing. My mother, my best friend and my companion since my father passed in 1997 was gone. Until now I remain devastated. It’s as if she took a chunk of my heart. Pain is unbearable. I miss her so very much. Mom and I would hug each every night and say I love you. I still say I love you to her but I can no longer hug and kiss her. I am a wreck. I attend group grief meetings which help and also therapy. Grief strikes whenever and wherever. I’m sobbing as I write this. Still trying to figure out how to live without my beloved mother. My heart is broken.

      • CrzyMama profile image

        CrzyMama 

        5 weeks ago from North Carolina

        I lost my mother suddenly to a heart attack almost 5 months ago on Nov 24,

        the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It was so unexpected and it still don't seem real. People may judge me on this but I could not go to her funeral, the first funeral in my life i couldn't attend and I lost my precious nephew years ago when he was 12 yrs old. I've gone to call her so many times and I wish I could tell her what a great mother she was and still is because everything she taught me growing up will always be with me. She was my rock, my biggest fan and the only constant in my whole life and the only person who loved me unconditionally and supported and encouraged me no matter what. She was also my best friend and my inspiration, I wish I could be half the mother to my kids that she was to me. I know that out of the blue kicked in stomach feeling that literally put me to my knees and I'd break down but after couple hours I'd come out of it somewhat but last week it happened and I didn't even start to come out of it until a week later. I know she'd tell me that I've got to be strong for my kids that they still love me and need me and not to worry about her that she's happy and in better place and even tho I know that, the pain and heartache of her being gone so suddenly and never even getting to say goodbye or hug her one more time is just unbearable and I've noticed I've starting withdrawing and not hardly talking to anybody much but she's constantly on my mind, her voice her face, I just miss her so much and i don't know how to handle this grief.

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        Maleko 

        5 weeks ago

        I just lost my mom five weeks ago, we were very close. She died in front of me on the floor from SCA, I gave her CPR but it didnt save her, her heart was too far gone the coroner said. Its felt surreal like a dream. Its the most paralyzing and painful thing Ive experienced in my life. Everything described in the article is right on the money. My emotions and state of mind are all over the place. I catch myself dreaming and reflecting on childhood all the time now. These are unchartered waters for me, its gonna be one long and sobering voyage. I have some long nights ahead. I pray and meditate and talk to her a lot, that alleviates some of the pain and sadness. I yearn to kiss and hold her again and to tell her how much I love and miss her.

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        Amerks96 

        6 weeks ago

        I lost my mother 5 months ago. I’m an only child. My relatives want nothing to do with me. I’m totally alone. I’m 71. Still very devastated over her loss. Don’t know how to get on with my life after her passing, I know my mom would want me to be happy, she was my life. How can I. She was 97 and had a good life. Still miss her daily. I still cry a lot.

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        Nicole J87 

        6 weeks ago

        My mom passed away hours ago.. I don't know what to think or feel or how to act..I miss her so much.. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. She was my best friend and in ways she was like my child because I took care of her since I was 12.. My heart is absolutely broken.

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        Shanaaz 

        6 weeks ago

        My mom turned 60 a day after my birthday on Jan 5...she was diagnosed with heart failure a while back and was tired most of the time so we had a huge bash to celebrate. Such beautiful memories of that night. 3 weeks later she went to a specialist coz her lung infection wudnt go away. After examining her she was given a letter for admission to hospital to have some tests done. We knew she wasnt healthy but was strong and survived heart attacks and other illnesses but nothing prepared us for what happened the next 2 weeks. On 30 Jan she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Feb 1 the ct scan confirmed it had spread to her liver and bones. She was discharged same day and came home in a wheelchair. Cudnt believe this frail woman who was in agonising pain was the same woman who walked out the door 5 days before. My MOM, a beautiful,kind,strong independent woman cudnt sit up on her own anymore. A week later it spread to her brain and she cudnt talk or see anymore, and it was the worst feeling knowing there was nothing I cud do to make her better. On the 10th Feb paramedics came to take her to hospital as she cudnt breathe but it was too late. They struggled to get her in the ambulance, and pretended to give her cpr. I kept asking them if she was breathing n they wudnt answer n i knew she was gone. They let us wait in an empty room and 30mins later the doctor said there was nothing they could do. I went to see her and just wanted to hold her and hear her say its a dream but that wasnt gona happen. I watched the nurses cut her pyjamas off her body then wrap her in white plastic like she was a piece of meat. Since then my life has been a blur and all I do is cry. Im in so much pain and miss her and it doesnt get better. I hav 2 boys and know I have to be strong but just cant. I dont know what to do. Everyone says its normal to grieve but how can i believe that this is how its supposed to be. My life changed in 2 weeks and i desperately need to find the strength to carry on but I CANT.

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        dave38 

        6 weeks ago

        hi debbie is just ridiculos aint it ? like there is no words empty undescribable pain i just wanna be alone feel like getting my passport an going somewere where no one else is .an never coming back problem is ill be taking myself with me

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        Debbie 

        6 weeks ago

        Dave i know exactly how you feel i feel the same way my mom passed on nov 28 2018 my life has been hell iam so empty she was everything to me iam lost forever till i die. Love you mom

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        dave38 

        6 weeks ago

        i been reading posts and it brings me some comfort as i slways beleave no.one could possibly love there mum as much as i do or hurt as much as i hurt an i see people actually do my mum passed 24sep 2018 6mth 12days ago at 132am i watched her take her very last breath still over 6mth later dont feel real an people are so right unless they have sufferd the loss thereselves cant possibly understand my life is so bloody meaningless im in such a state off depression that wont shift for nothing on the outside is all ok car apartment money all that meaningless rubbish but inside i truly wish i csn go asleep sn not wake up ive never felt suicidal in my life an never understood people that are .but i understand now .im 39 yrs old an the thought off anova 30/40 yrs like this worrys me sick i have a patner 2x kids that i adore but yet right now im at my flat an wanna be alone an sleep all the time constantly argueing with my patner feel so angry so alone so worthless mum is the one true love unconditional no matter what she always there and yesmothers day was ridiculos pain it hurts so much is all most commical like i csn actually laugh at this pain im empty like theres nothing in side me any more i started greiving counselling ..i dont drink alcohol or use drugs so i have no escape just me an my thought ls and my head is crazy anyway im not to keen on doing life no more but just aint got the balls to do anything about it an im not that selfish but these dark thoughts are haunting me day an night i just want my mum back god i would cut both my arms off right now to have mum back i would walk to the end off the earth she passed off what they csll CANCER to me cancer is just a underlined word for a illness that cant be explained an whoevet goes in so called remission never had csncer in the 1st place chemo killed my mum for sure i hate hospitals doctors and not to keen on god eaither sn yet i been religious all my life an slways beleaved i dont even no who i am no more this has chsnged my life in s million ways god i need help so much i wish my head could just shut up i love my mum until i take my last breath it hurts me to no so many people are also broken by this an slso comforts me yo no im not slone i will make a promise to everyone and for the 1st time in over 6 months i will say s prayer for everyone on here tonite godbless an takecare off u all love u mum xcc

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        Tawana 

        6 weeks ago

        I lost my mom May 21st 2018 and it has been very difficult. It's coming up on 1 year that she has been gone and it does not get easy. I can't sleep and I feel like I'm by myself in this world. But knowing that she had a relationship with God and I'm finding peace in that. I'm now trying to find and activity to fill that void even though I know nothing will. God Bless you and Thank you for this post

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        Humanityy 

        6 weeks ago

        Whenever your dear is in the serius level of cancer or heart attack and doctors have dishoped her it maybe ignite a little hope in you search and read about "cryonics"(cryonics means freezing body and tessues exactly after death by special method that tessues dont rot in the hope of revive human in the future by that times science and technology) plz for humanity put this message in anywhere helpful

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        PAROMITA MUKHERJEE 

        7 weeks ago

        Dear Lynn,

        I am writing on this site after a long time. (After seeing ur post,I couldn't help writing to you)I have lost my sweetheart Mom on 20-12 -2017.I was staying with her in the hospital, watching her screaming in pain...crying helplessly and fading away day by day. Even today...I am not able to forget even a single minute of those horrible days. My normal life stopped..from that very day. I cry almost everyday, blame myself, become angry...lost faith and above all I miss her so much.Sometimes I really wonder how I am alive after bearing so much pain.I joined work immediately but being busy never helped me to cope up

        I feet exactly the same way you are feeling right now.My wounds are still very much vulnerable and bleeds everytme I think of those days. Sometimes I feel like nothing good is waiting for me anymore. Living this unbearable life for the sake of my daughter.

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        Lynn 

        7 weeks ago

        I lost my mom 12-25-18. I have had nightmares almost nightly. I stayed with my mom at the hospital (hospice) for 13 long, painful days and nights. I witnessed her wailing out in pain while being unresponsive since the first day she was put in the hospice ward. After she died (A HORRIBLE, PAINFUL DEATH), I witnessed her being stuffed in a grey plastic body bag with a toe tag slapped on her toe. It was horrendous! NOBODY should ever have to endure this. My poor, incredible, wonderful, loving, selfless mom suffered needlessly --- especially after we were promised her pain would "be controlled". It was not. I have never seen anyone in so much pain! She would have also been mortified knowing I witnessed same. Not a minute goes by that I don't think of her. Not a minute goes by that I don't relive what transpired at the hospital. The pain is almost unbearable.

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        Susan 

        7 weeks ago

        It's been a bit over 5 weeks now and I find myself at this site often. I've read the above article three times and it helps. I also read the posts and I am struck by the fact that we are all still hurting whether it be 5 weeks or 5 years. Not that I expect the hurt to go away but I want to be happy because I know this is what my mom wants for me. Of course I am happy much of the time but there is always the reminder that I'll never hear my mom say my name again. Just typing that makes me cry. Really dreading Mother's Day because we always spent it together. Love you Mom!

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        Bonnie Scotland 

        7 weeks ago

        For Felice

        I too am in the UK and its my second mothers day without my darling mum too. Felt so low in the build up over the last few days. Feeling pain every time i heard an advert for Mother's day or watching people buy bouquets of flowers or make plans for the day with their own mums.

        Tried to be more positive today. Gave my kids hugs for their beautiful flowers and visited my mother in law with gifts. When i went to mums grave however it all became to much. Had my arms stretched out cleaning the headstone and suddenly felt like I should have had my arms round my lovely mum and not a cold stone with her name on it. I couldn't stop sobbing irrespective of the fact the graveyard was so busy.i think we try to be brave as much as possible but there are some occasions where the pain is just too much to take.

        So now i am sitting watching Mamma Mia as that was mums favourite visit to the cinema ever she said. What a lovely day and memory that was.

        Not posted on this page for a long time but ironically it was last mothers day when i first found this site desperately looking for ways to cope.

        To all new posters.... People cant fully relate to the agony of losing ones mum until they go through it as at times the pain is indescribable. From experience (nearly two years down the line) the feeling of loss never goes but you just learn to adjust your life whilst being mindful of the fact your darling mum would want you to live your life as much as possible.

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        Yolandi 

        7 weeks ago

        Ive lost my mom 24/6/18. I am an only child, not married (engaged) with no children. Me and my dad never got along. My mom was 65 and suffering from Lupus for 13 years. My dad was the actual cause of this stress related disease (in my opinion), there was alot of money and affair and mom and i just had to live with it. Since my moms passing my whole life changed.

        I felt numb, even 2 months after her death. I couldnt look as they shut the machines down. She died of organ failure.

        I struggle to cry, I always wanted to be strong for my mom even though she was a very strong woman.

        Its 9 months and i am still devastated. My heart still feels heavy and ripped out of body. I have huge panic attacks, i hate my dad as he swiftly moved on. Some days i just dont know what the purpose of living means, so many question with no answers. Random outburst of crying, drinking my night away. She was my everything as only child. Theres no one left. Family turned their backs on my dad the minute she passed on.

        I truly believe in God. I never got mad at God for one minute but i get anger outbursts as well because of my dad. Anger makes the healing process so much slower. Regret!

        Loosing your mom is loosing yourself. I dont want to see people, just not up for anything. I cant concentrate at work. I know forgiveness is key but I am not their yet. Self forgiveness also plays a huge roll.

        Im so sorry for everyones loss in so many different circumstances. For those who still have mother. Love them, cherish them, respect them. You never see it coming, but when it does, its the worst agony ever. Regards

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        Michelle 

        7 weeks ago

        I lost my beautiful Mum yesterday - I have never felt such heart wrenching pain.....for my own loss but also the loss of a caring wonderful Nan for my two girls, it’s heartbreaking

      • profile image

        Felice 

        7 weeks ago

        Mothers’ Day In May, my second since Mama died. Last year I broke down in church as they honored all the mothers that were at the sevice.

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        DanAlabam 

        7 weeks ago

        In this world, no one will ever love as much as your mother. I just celebrated my third birth day since mom passed, for some reason birthdays keep getting harder and harder as time passes. They are so incomplete without mom. I thank God for blessing us with such a beautiful mother, he blesses us with love. someone to love he lends us.

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        Mark New york 

        7 weeks ago

        To all who have posted here im so sorry for the loss of your moms...my mom will be gone 2 years this may...my sister and husband took her house all her money and never treated her for lung cancer until it was to late...how i havnt killed either one of them yet is a miracle ...police and adult worthless protective services in new York and florida did shit ...no funeral ..no wake ..no service ...took her to florida away from all her family and friends and cut off all communication ...motha fuckas should both be hung by JESUS.

        .anyway ...your right it gets different...not any better when moms die.....i hurt like hell still ...just different...may god bless us and our moms

      • profile image

        dave38 

        8 weeks ago

        mum been gone 6month today the feeling is still so raw not a day goes by i dont think off her im a completly diffrent person now looseing my mum has devastated me and i just dont really care about life no more she was my world my 1 true friend the real love off my life i worshipped my mum i still do 24th september 132am 2018 ..life aint been the same since an i no never will be to say it gets easier is rubbish it hurts just as much right now as it did from the start just hurts diffrent thats all u never get over it you get through it i can talk a load off crap an say o.it gets better rubbish it gets diffrent iff thag makes any sense.. not better im self destructing i wish there was a way out im so cold now .so ruthless .dishonest inpatient i hate the man ive become god it hurts so fuxxxing much

      • profile image

        Lenee 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mom in November 2017. Seems like so long ago but feels like it was just yesterday. I have gotten to a place where I don't cry every day or with every thought of her. Time does help with that. What I am struggling with now are stressful events in my life. The stressful events make the pain of losing her return in a crippling manner. I just think about how much I miss her and need her and how I know she would have been there for me if she was here. I guess this will keep coming up as I go through life.

      • profile image

        Debra 

        2 months ago

        My mum passed away 5 weeks ago after a 3 month diagnosis of cancer. I feel worse than i did before the funeral. I just want to hear her voice i cant believe whats happened. We spent a lot of time together mostly weekends shopping. I dont feel right most of the time i have gone back to work just for dome routine. Will this pain stop i feel choked when i tnink about her and in pain when i realise i will never see her again

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        Mrinmayee P 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mum, in December 2018, She was 83 and had Alzheimer for 10 years and by the end she had stopped talking. The only communication we had was recognition in her eyes. Her eyes shined when she looked at me even in her last minutes. I am just glad I was with her then. The funeral and the activities there after kept me busy. I got back to work and I thought being busy and working would get me over the pain, but it doesn't work that way. The memories come back suddenly, and I find tears rolling down my eyes, when I least expect it. As you said, its part of the grieving process. I am waiting to see, when I will come to terms with the pain. In my youth, she was my best friends, we shared long walks and talks. I guess we live with the pain.

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        Susan 

        2 months ago

        To all that come to this post,

        It has now been about 3 weeks and I feel worse than I did two weeks ago. Is it that shock has worn off? Maybe the shock protected me for a while? Anyway, this is far worse now. Reality setting in I guess. I know I will think of my mom and be happy some day but for now it is absolutely shattering. One thing that seems to help is to take deep breaths and go into the pain. It amazes me that people have had to go through this since the beginning of time and yet here we are. Proof that we do get through it somehow. Love and peace to all at this difficult time. We're gonna make it.

      • profile image

        Felice 

        2 months ago

        Dear Gary,

        My mom was 95 when she died in Nov. 2017. I know exactly what you’re going through. I continue having weekly counseling and attend a group grief support. I am still so much in pain and devastated. Not a day has gone by without me crying sometimes screaming. So much memories of wonderful times that I don’t have now. My life has been altered for the rest of my days.

      • profile image

        gary 

        2 months ago

        Dear Graces Boy my darling sweet mum passed away.in.May 2017 at 98.I am deep grief even to this day I just cant come to terms with.Dont let anybody tell you she lived a long life you should be happy not sad. The fact that I had.till 98 doesnt ease my pain.I love her and miss her very much my darling.To all of you who have your beloved mothers seek professiona counselling cry if you feel dont hide your emotions its very devastating love

      • profile image

        gary 

        2 months ago

        Dear Graces Boy my darling sweet mum passed away.in.May 2017 at 98.I am deep grief even to this day I just cant come to terms with.Dont let anybody tell you she lived a long life you should be happy not sad. The fact that I had.till 98 doesnt ease my pain.I love her and miss her very much my darling.To all of you who have your beloved mothers seek professiona counselling cry if you feel dont hide your emotions its very devastating love

      • profile image

        Clelia 

        2 months ago

        My mum passed away March the 4th.. 4 days ago, and I can not realize she is no longer here by my side.. everything seems so unreal. I was on vacation in Iceland and my dad called me and told me mummy had an heart attack.. I was in shock and suddenly went back to Italy and I could not believe when I first saw her sleeping with her sweet face.. she is my light and my sun.. I don’t really know how to keep going without her, my guide, my heart, my everything

      • profile image

        Jeps 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mama February 23, 2019. I can’t explain the pain, it’s really painful. my heart is heavy, i’m vulnerable, i don’t want to talk to people. What’s next? Why and what my next step? Help.

      • profile image

        Missy8c 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mum yesterday. I can't stop crying. Hoping and praying for the strength to get through this horrible time.

      • profile image

        Sandraharley 

        2 months ago

        I lost my mum 19 this month,i feel lost like i shouldnt be here while shes not ,i have kids and my partner is very supportive but im numb,cant bear to carry on its killing me,she bein laid to rest thursday ,i see her in chapel of rest .I know shes gone but still her bodys all i have left when shes buried il have nothing.I question everything i did i had to put her in nursing home when she came out of hospital because i didnt want her alone at any time,now i regret it i hate myself she deteriorated in ther i keep seeing her so thin just bone cant bear it.

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        Mary 

        2 months ago

        i lost my mum 25/02/2019 I’m over the blurr and living in deep pain.. I find myself questioning everything, did she suffer, did she think of me, could something be done to save her.. it’s so raw .. so painful I loved reading your article

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