I Hate My Dad—Trouble at Home

Updated on June 9, 2018
LongTimeMother profile image

With her children's ages spanning 22 years, LongTimeMother has 40 years experience in parenting - including home schooling and foster care.

Why Would I Hate My Dad?

Irrespective of their age, a child or adult who associates hate with their father has a real problem. Whether that problem is abuse, abandonment, or some other issue, the child who hates their father deserves to be heard.

The ideal emotions associated with fathers include love and respect. When a child says "I hate my dad," something is definitely wrong.

Over the past 30 years, I have heard a lot of children explain why they hate their fathers. Here are some of the main reasons, and a few thoughts that might help.

Reasons Why a Child May Hate Their Dad

1. Physical, Mental, and/or Emotional Abuse

Some dads abuse their children. No wonder their kids hate them.

I find it hard to imagine that any woman would deliberately choose to have a child with a man who would subject any member of his family to physical, mental, or emotional abuse, but you just have to look at the statistics to see how common abusive relationships are.

When a child says "I hate my dad," it is important to establish if the child is a victim of abuse.

Instead of simply assuming that the seemingly pleasant man we meet in the street or see at work or at church is a good father, we owe it to every child to give them the chance to tell us what their father is really like.

Many children are victims of abuse. Because they do not have the power, knowledge, or ability to resolve an abusive relationship, they require intervention to help resolve the conflict.

If you become aware of a child subjected to abuse or have reason to suspect a child is a victim in their own home, please arrange for intervention.

2. My Dad Makes My Mother Cry

When children see their mother crying, it can be instinct to hate whoever or whatever causes her grief.

You'll hear a child whose mother has cancer say, "I hate cancer." After watching their mother's repeated frustration with an unreliable car, a child will commonly say I hate our car."

Similarly, a child who witnesses their mother's distress during arguments or issues associated with their father is likely to announce that they hate their father.

When parents constantly argue and cannot get along, staying together for the sake of the children can be a mistake. If both parents cannot be happy, pleasant, or at the very least polite and civil to each other, the emotional outbursts in the child's home are likely to generate emotional responses in the child.

Hatred can be one of those emotions.

A father expressing frustration can be frightening for a child.
A father expressing frustration can be frightening for a child.

3. My Dad Is a Control Freak

Many fathers are genuinely surprised to discover their children hate them.

They worked hard to pay the bills, bought the essentials, provided gifts, and paid tuition, and yet, after all their effort and willing contributions, their child as a teenager or young adult announces, "I hate you!"

If you deny your son or daughter the space and freedom to explore, experience, and develop their own individuality in their early years, be prepared for trouble as they mature. Nobody likes a control freak.

Every individual needs a certain amount of space for personal growth. If you try to control every aspect of life, there's no room for a child to develop and discover who they are and what they are capable of.

Sooner or later, they will demand the freedom to be themselves. If they resent the restrictions you placed on them year after year—refusing to allow them to make their own decisions, pursue their interests, and have the power to reject the sports or school subjects they had no interest in but you insisted they pursue—don't be surprised if they hate you.

4. Constant Criticism vs. Supportive Advice

If your expectations are set too high for your child, you are setting your relationship up to fail. Don't confuse constant criticism with supportive advice.

It should be mandatory for parents to regularly tell their children:

  • "Well done"
  • "Good job"
  • "I'm proud of you!"

Every parent needs to learn to bite their tongue and resist the urge to always add "but..."

Over the past 30 years, I have attempted many times to explain to friends of my children that their father doesn't mean to be critical. On every occasion, I have had no option but to agree that the many examples they offer of 'fatherly advice' appear more critical than supportive.

I always point out that it seems inappropriate to hate a father who is trying to do his best, and that there are many other fathers who are more guilty of bad parenting. However, I can't rewrite history, and these kids have had many years of believing they hate their dads.

5. My Dad Makes Me Feel Guilty

Parents can often unwittingly place a child in a difficult position. For example, a child discovers their father is having an affair. This is a surprisingly common problem for teenagers. Do they tell their mother?

  • They feel guilty if they don't tell her. Mom's doting on Dad and clearly loves him, but he's cheating on her. She's keeping his dinner warm and making things nice for when he gets home, but all the while the child knows he is with another woman.
  • They feel guilty if they do tell her because all the tears and heartache somehow seems to be their fault.
  • Or they feel guilty because they didn't tell her when dad eventually leaves her years later, wishing they'd given her a chance to find a new partner when she was still young.
  • They feel responsible for the separation when the mother leaves the cheating father.

Either way, a child who suffers the pressure of keeping a secret about their father's affair or the trauma associated with revealing such a secret is likely to end up hating their dad.

A child's self-esteem can be directly linked to how they believe their father perceives them.
A child's self-esteem can be directly linked to how they believe their father perceives them.

6. Hating My Dad Is My Mom's Fault

If you are the mother of a child who rarely sees their dad, make every effort to keep dad alive and well in your child's heart. Their self-esteem can be directly linked to how they believe their dad views them, and a teenager with low self-esteem is more likely to get into trouble.

When negotiating a separation, insist their father send birthday and Christmas cards every year. Also, make sure they agree to accept any phone calls from your child and to always be loving and supportive.

Perhaps the most difficult issue to address is the knowledge that a child's father was violent, irrespective of the circumstances. Somehow the child must be helped to know any trouble was not their fault. Their dad, after all, was the grown up. He should have been able to control himself and make better decisions to protect their relationship.

Encourage your friends and family to resist the urge to speak badly about the child's father in front of them. Of course, it is important to answer their questions honestly, but don't be brutal when dealing with a child's feelings.

Be gentle and thoughtful in your response to a child who genuinely hates their father with good reason.

Sometimes you might just have to admit "It's okay to hate your dad. I'm sorry he wasn't a better dad to you because you deserved the best!"

7. Abandonment

When parents separate, there is no excuse for a child to feel abandoned. If you were actively involved in the child's conception, you have a responsibility to show an active interest in the child's development.

Fathers who are guilty of ignoring their children generally pay the price when the child grows older. Instead of having the company and support of their adult child in later years, it is Dad's turn to be ignored.

Mothers who stand in the way of a child having a healthy relationship with their dad simply because the adults have argued and are hurting are equally guilty of causing abandonment issues for the child.

Children need to feel loved and valued. I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give a child is to speak highly of their father—even if it is difficult to think of nice things to say. Mothers should encourage positive sentiments regarding a child's father, regardless of the parents' relationship status and level of friendliness.

"I'll bet your dad would be proud of you if he could see you today" is a wonderful gesture to a young child whose father lives far away. By hearing reference to their dad in positive conversations during their early years, a child can grow up feeling as though their father is interested in them even if they are not present or actively involved.

Of course, a phone call from dad or the chance to phone him after special events is even more helpful. When parents separate, they shouldn't "divorce" their child.

Don't Shut the Child Down

My first response to anyone who says “I hate my dad” is to ask the question “Why?”

It is wrong for us to assume that we know more about the situation than the speaker. Too often, a child who claims to hate their father is silenced quickly without anyone bothering to ask why.

Generally, someone interjects with, “No, you don't.”

Often it is the child's mother, trying to smooth ruffled feathers and prevent further conflict.

Bad Dad Compared to Other Fathers

Any father can give the impression they don't love or care about their child when:

  • other dads attend sporting events to watch their children play, but you don't
  • other dads spend time going fishing or playing ball with their kids, but you don't
  • other dads talk and laugh with their children, but you don't
  • other dads tell their kids they love them, but you don't
  • other dads seem like "real" dads, but you don't

If you don't express your love for your child both verbally and demonstrably, don't be surprised if they don't express love for you either.

If your child thinks, rightly or wrongly, that you hate them, there is every possibility they will mirror that emotion and hate you right back.

If you hate your dad ...

What is the main reason you hate your dad (or simply don't love him as you feel you should)?

See results

How to Be a Good Father

A Hated Dad Has to Redeem Himself

Cross your fingers and hope that your child grows into an adult who can see and respect your efforts to do the right thing. If your child hates you now but you honestly believe you don't deserve it, keep trying to reach out. One day they'll have a lot of questions, and you'll want to have the right answers.

  • If you are getting a divorce, address the specific ways you want to be involved with your child as part of the divorce settlement—and stick to the agreement.
  • If you're having an affair, admit it to your wife. Then tell your child you are to blame, and they have no reason to feel as though the divorce was their fault.
  • Send birthday cards and gifts even if you know your ex-wife won't pass them on. When they are older you'll want to be able to look your child in the eye and say, "I sent you a card and a present every year. I'm sorry if your mother didn't give them to you."

Let your grown child decide how they feel about you once they have the facts. But until then, don't blame them if they don't know what's really going on. You can't blame a child if they hate you. You have to earn their respect and deserve their love.

Planning structured activities is an excellent way to be a great dad.
Planning structured activities is an excellent way to be a great dad.

How to Be a Better Dad

If you want to be a better dad to your kids than you've been before, identify where you have been going wrong and take steps to change it—ask your children and listen to what they have to say.

Spend Quality Time with Your Kids

One of the most obvious areas for improvement for many fathers is the amount of quality time you spend with your child. First, you have to get your head around what quality time actually means.

Kids who hate their dads may have had a father who spent a great deal of time at home—but how much time did he actually spend paying attention to the child? Watching the television or entertaining your adult friends don't count just because your child was in the room.

Fathers who have to force themselves to set specific times aside when their child becomes the center of their universe (instead of genuinely being pleased their son or daughter wants to spend time with them) ask, "How do you do that?"

It is not so difficult, particularly if you have the right attitude. The hardest part might be turning your phone off, but phone calls are interruptions and should be avoided.

  • Read a book aloud from beginning to end.
  • Play a board game.
  • Play outdoors until a pre-designated time.
  • Set a task and complete it together.
  • Have fun together until their favourite TV show begins.
  • Go fishing until it is time to go home for lunch.
  • Play Paper, Rock, Scissors until the school bus arrives.
  • Dance like crazy people until it is time for you to go to work... and then dance out the door and out to the car. Kids love stuff like that.

The most important element of any of these suggestions is the natural completion point. Have you ever noticed how many fathers spend too much time trying to bring activities to an end? Then, because it is such a hassle, they don't bother starting another activity in the future.

Get Involved in Your Children's Lives

If you are a father who has disappointed your children too many times for them to even bother asking or expecting you to spend time with them, you are in serious trouble. Before you know it, your sons and daughters will be fully grown and they will probably leave you out of their lives, just as you are ignoring them now.

Reach out to your children and make a serious effort to be a better dad.

  • Suggest a game or activity (with a natural completion point) and make sure you both enjoy the experience.
  • Get to know each other.
  • Ask each child about their friends, school, and sporting activities.
  • Tell them about your childhood, and share jokes and fun stories.
  • Smile. Laugh. Play.
  • And don't forget to listen.

You should know the names of each child's best friends, what sports they play, which days they play them, the teachers and subjects they like most at school, any problems they have, and any challenges they face.

A good dad knows all about their kids' lives and gets involved in them.

If you haven't attended at least a few games each sport season, arrived early enough to watch your kids in their dance or karate class, and offered to take each child and a friend for a movie or a meal a few times in the past year, you'd better start doing those things now.

When Children Become Adults

I believe it is important to remind every child that the time will come when they can leave home and live without the fear of what mood their father will be in when he comes home at night.

Anyone who is able to endure their childhood years will have a chance at making a fresh start and deciding just where their father will fit in their future lives. Kids grow up.

If you want your kids to love you, not hate you, you need to make the kind of memories they'll remember fondly as they look back on their childhood. Spend time with your kids and enjoy each other's company.

Unless, of course, you know you can't be trusted near your children and they have good reason to hate you. In which case... stay away.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

  • My dad is a total control freak. He controls everyone in the house. He targets me the most, and assumes that I do things that I don’t. He is always depriving me of something, physically, socially or emotionally. My father is very inconsiderate. He acts in such a condescending way, and believes that he should receive respect just because he is a father. I hate being at home with him, and I wish that he could just disappear or start being supportive. How do I cope with this?

    I’ve often written at length to other kids with the same kind of family problems. I suggest you read through the hundreds of comments at the bottom of this article. You’ll see I’ve given a lot of suggestions for coping with difficult dads.

  • I have a complicated relationship with my dad. So my dad is cheating on my disabled mom. I found out through his phone. I'm afraid and confused. Should I tell this to my mom? She's not independent, and neither am I. It hurts to act like everything's fine. I haven't told anyone because I think it will be a painful for everyone. Lately, my dad makes it really obvious, and I find myself kind of protecting him. I just don't want anyone to know. It will damage our family. But it hurts me. What can I do in this situation?

    You are in a challenging position, and I’m sorry there’s no simple solution. I don’t know why you were looking in your dad’s phone, but you should stay away from it. Here’s what I’m thinking...

    If your mom is disabled and can’t earn an income without your dad, what’s she going to do? If your dad treats her well (apart from cheating on her), she’s probably happy how things are. And if your dad doesn’t mistreat you, I’m not sure there’s anything to be gained from telling her.

    I want you to try and get your head around this, without messing with your sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ because you obviously have a moral backbone and that’s good. But life is complicated so here’s what I want you to think about.

    Your dad may still love your mother. But maybe she’s not meeting his emotional or physical needs, and so he’s cheating on her. But he hasn’t left her. Perhaps he’s just coping the best way he can.

    Your mother might already know your dad’s cheating. You figured it out, so there’s every likelihood she has as well. But it would probably break her heart if she knew that you knew.

    You’re the child. They’re the adults. They are probably both trying to protect you from harsh realities and keep life ‘normal’ so you can go to school and grow up without any more drama than is necessary.

    If you confront your mother or your father you will completely change the dynamic within your home. If you bring his cheating out into the open air, your parents will have no way to continue the way they are now.

    Should you ‘protect’ your father? No. Should you tell your mother? No. Should you touch your father’s phone? Never!

    I believe you should be concentrating on studying and having fun with your friends as well as being an active, helpful member of your family. Don’t get involved in the dynamics of your parents’ relationship. Just concentrate on staying out of trouble, so things don’t get any more difficult than they already are.

    I understand that you don’t trust your dad, but if he’s doing his best to support you and your mom, you have to give him some credit for that mentally. We don’t know what the future holds but you should not lose sight of the good parts of how life is in the ‘now.’

  • Will you write one of these articles about mothers?

    Many of the issues would be the same in regards to mothers. It is not likely that I will write another article, but I can certainly answer questions about mothers on this one when asked.

  • My 14-year-old daughter states she hates her Dad but says he’s done nothing wrong. She won’t talk or answer him when he asks her questions. She doesn’t want to be in the same room and even goes the roundabout way in the house to avoid him. She will ask me to tell him about her day, but when I start to tell him, she corrects me and takes over telling her Dad. They talk and laugh briefly and then she leaves and continues to ignore him. Do you have any ideas what’s going on?

    It could be one of a number of things. At 14 kids seem to feel the need to have the same problems as their friends. If her friends are avoiding their fathers, she might be doing the same thing so that she has a story to tell. Maybe it’s ‘cool’ in her group to hate their fathers.

    If I were you I’d be asking ‘Do you hate all men or just your dad?’ If she says all men, you need to figure out why. If she says ‘Just dad,’ you might have a problem.

    ‘There must be a reason. It wouldn’t be fair to hate your father without reason. So tell me. Should I hate him too?’

    Give her a chance to talk. Keep asking, ‘Anything else?’ Tell her if she hates him you need to understand why. If there’s no immediate problem revealed, tell her you hope she’s going to either talk to you properly soon so you can understand or mellow out and stop the drama.

    You could say, ‘The time is going to come in your life when you’ll look back at being 14 and wish you did things differently. So if you think you’re making some mistake right now, now is the time to change it. If you hate your dad, tell me why. If you don’t really hate him, it is time to stop acting like you do. It really isn’t fair to him or me.’

  • My dad makes me feel like rubbish and I want to kill myself. He abuses me physically, verbally and emotionally. What should I do?

    You should ask people for help. Your mother, your grandparents, teachers or parents of friends. Keep asking until you get help. But don’t harm yourself. There’s so much fun to be had when you’re older, and people out there in the world who are waiting to meet you. You have to get through these tough years to reach the fun and rewards you’ll have as an adult.

© 2013 LongTimeMother

Please share your thoughts ...

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    • profile image

      Corey 

      2 weeks ago

      I wish I would of known younger that it is ok to detach from my father. He is a phony. He is very good at playing nice. The only thing he cares about is how things appear not how they are. He was verbally and physically abusive. But I am gaslighted by my sister and him. My sister knows and has spoken about it but she gets a lot of money from him and they are a lot alike. How do I not hate my sister. Honestly I hate him so much even people

      close to him I don’t like. I use to be very close with my sibling but since my mother died she and he have teamed up. He bought her a 400k condo and she allows him to call her all the time. He is controlling and co dependent. I am in my late thirties and I have recently come to the realization that almost all of my decisions have been based around escaping from him. I moved as far away as possible but I really have problems now with anyone who has authority over me and that hasn’t helped me in my career. Oddly when covid hit the first thing that went through my mind is I hope my dad gets it. I know that isn’t normal. But when I was younger I would take my food and poor it over my head if I didn’t have good table manners. He would couch all my teams he lived through me. He was physically emotionally abusive. I don’t think he has ever complimented me. I guess I wanted to know if other people feel like their adult lives have been ruined by either running away or not appropriately dealing with things. And it is hard for other people to understand bc he couched my teams put me in private school built tree house. I just truly hate him. I now have started transferring my hate to my sister just bc they are so close. I notice she use to be more independent and funny. We are both in our late thirties never married no children and she is dependent on him. The abuse and depression has led to me abusing pain killers and then I made mistake of being open about it after I got sober and it has been used against me with other family. When I describe how horrible my childhood was I have had therapists have to take a break and I see their chin giving out and tears. But he is so good at being charming and funny and playing nice. He even keeps friends with ex’s. It is bizarre. I don’t want to be a bitter emotionally broken adult. I only have very strong feelings I know society wants you to have a good relationship. But I absolutely hate him. How do I manage to keep the relationship with others in my family without him? Also I play nice on holidays sometimes I let him in and soon I realize ut is toxic, is it better to just be completely done. Like in any other relationship that sucks?

    • profile image

      I just need someone to read this! 

      2 weeks ago

      Many people say "I hate my dad" or "he's the worst" but that is only because they refused to let them do something for once, but when I say I hate my dad, I really mean it. My dad is a control freak, hates my mom, very harsh/violent/abusive, he beat me and my brothers up for the slightest thing, he never asks nicely, we never talk and if we do it is only to confront me about something or make me feel guilty about something or maybe ask me to do something for him, he does not even give me an allowance like normal people. he has high expectations for us, and he thinks he is a great dad just because he works and pays tuition and bills, but I never felt the love every father should give, I am overweight and he would always make me feel terrible about it instead of motivating me, my mom also has the same problem even though she always tried her best to be like who my dad wants her to be he always beats her up and makes her cry a lot, and complains about everything wrong she does, like forgetting to iron/wash a piece of cloth because of all the other things that she has to take care of, he never looks at the good things she does, like preparing food, washing, cleaning, and everything anybody could everyone think of. My dad is the worst male I ever knew in my life and the worst dad from the people that I see around me or my friends that have great fathers that give them personal space, privacy, allowance, wants, love, care. I can go for another 3 hours just talking about the worst person I know. I don't even call him dad anymore.

    • profile image

      Unknown Girl who hates his father alot! 

      3 weeks ago

      At this father's day 2020 me and my siblings were planned for a nice surprise for him...... We make nice poster through mobile for him and put it in watsapp status then we decided to make yummy food for him ...... At first we seat together for breakfast... I eat a little bit but mothers told me that ate more but i dont want to ate..... After this my dad shouted at me...... I know uh bitch dont uh dare to celebrate father's day....... I hate uh he said me.... He said me lots of bad words that makes me cry....... Then he warns me that dont u dare to celebrate the father's day if u guys celebrate then i will destroyed all....... I want to cry... N my eyes in full of tears.........

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      I hate uh dad.

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      Want to die forever

    • profile image

      Justin Tom 

      3 weeks ago

      Hello from the Philippines.

      I do have couple of reasons on why I did hate my father which began only about a year ago, in which some reasons are not mentioned above in the votes, and another is couple of weeks ago. I've had expectations of my dad being a better one, even a nice dad who wouldn't resort to hit his children.

      The first one was that, I forgot to cook rice for everyone since I got too distracted in watching my favorite films, until he comes out of the door as he recently woke up, he asked me if I cooked rice, I said no, I forgot. It was too traumatizing for me to recall the whole event because it was only a small mistake, I was only 16 at that time and then Dad resorted to physical violence and verbally yelling at me. I was near the kitchen, at the backyard door, that's when he started to throw a rolled up tissue at me, then he approached me at an aggressive way as he pushed me up against the door, as he slapped me couple of times in the face, as the insides of my mouth have bled (no tooth had been lost), then he raised a fist on me, as I know he've been wanting to punch me, but he stopped himself to. He even suggested that do I want to fight him back, I refused, then he forced me to grab my Arnis stick just to hit him back, as that almost made me resort to retaliation. Until Mom woke up as she stopped him as she was crying. I felt too depressed at that time, and never did I get to confront Dad to tell him to apologize, because he's slightly bigger than me, he's got some training, heck, even I lack strength to fight back, because I still love him, but I'm growing more hatred within. He's currently in his 40s, as he's having a bad vice of smoking cigarettes outside of the house, and inside the bathroom, and also gets angry easily.

      I also discovered he's an authoritative parent as he has set high standards on me, like he wants things to be prepared as soon as he steps out of the room after being awake. This event has happened again, only to know that Mom told me I don't have to cook rice since he and my brother are still asleep. I was sewing my pillow case, and the next thing I'm hearing from him is roughly slamming the rice pot as he tries to prepare it himself. Dejá vu just get the better of me.

      The next reason, is the one time I woke up and getting out of my bed, as I prepare to cook rice, then I heard my mother sobbing quietly, I've waited for the right time to ask, as she told me that she's getting pissed off with him. That's when my bitter hatred grew even more.

      No matter how much I've tried to love him, it's just too hard. One time it was late, then I was doing some personal stuff, until he just breached my privacy. It was so rude of him that he just told me, "You never left your phone out on the table, and you're not sleeping yet."

      That was when I don't feel like trusting him. Never did I hear from him apologizing for his past actions, never did I hear from him offering a food or a game that I would eat or play. He is too unforgivable, as he even told me, if I were to be having a family, my actions would repeat.

    • profile image

      Nikki 

      3 weeks ago

      Growing up I always thought my dad was a great dad, and in a lot of aspects he was. He made sure that I knew he loved me and that I never needed to find validation in a romantic relationship because I had a good dad and no daddy issues. He always supported me financially. My mom was emotionally unavailable All my life and growing up I realized so was my dad. I found so much validation I’m him and I now question why? He was manipulative in a very subtle way. He’s a salesman for his business so he knows how to persuade but uses it to his advantage on making me and my sister feel like we are wrong and he’s right. He makes himself seem like he’s always right and smart and makes me feel like I know nothing. When my parents got divorced my dad didn’t have my mom to use as a scapegoat so it was me. He always is so suspicious of me and thinks I am up to something jumping to conclusions. He is controlling and doesn’t want me to date certain races or straight up said he would never accept me if I were a lesbian (which was one of his accusations for no reason). He holds the fact that he pays for everything over my head. Anytime I do something he doesn’t like his threat is he is going to cut me off. He is always right. He never apologizes for his actions, his way of doing that is buying me something but womt actually admit he’s was wrong or is sorry. He only did this to me, but I have no privacy or boundaries. He got on my icloud on his computer and got my text on his computer without me knowing so he could spy on me and catch me doing something I shouldn’t be doing (which worked). He tracks my location on life 360 and bought premium and CONSTANTLY is stalking me. He snoops thru my room when I’m gone. One time in high school he found my private journal and his excuse for reading it was bc he was reading it “as a concerned parent”. The first HALF of that journal was about crushes and boys. The second half was VERY personal and stuff I never told anyone. Also sexual experiences, my friends problems, my mental health. He was being nosy and not respecting my boundaries. I felt mind raped after he did that. Total invasion of my privacy. He gives me shit for the way I dress because i look like a “liberal” or “goth”. Two things he doesn’t agree with. He told me and my sister that one way to get him to disown us is to become a liberal. He always says he’s disappointed in me for the stupidest things like my hobbies, friends, music, clothes, opinions, and beliefs. He won’t see the world in any other way but his own. It’s very emotionally draining and gets worse as time goes by. I am not in any way able to support myself financially. I’m just trying to get thru college (That he’s paying for) so I can get out from under him and not speak to him. There’s A LOT more to him and my family

    • profile image

      Angelica 

      3 weeks ago

      I recently have gotten very very weird vibes from my dad. He and I (when I was like 10) used to be really close, but now I lean towards my Mom I guess. Nothing really happened, but all of a sudden he just is judgy over things that I take care of, and I know I sometimes do wrong things but he never used to be this.... I don’t know it’s as if he’s offended by what I’m doing. For example, I have a eating problem and I know it, I try to eat more but it’s hard. I know he’s just caring for me but seriously? Just coming in my room and staring at me and asking “why the f*** didn’t you eat” and I just- it’s annoying in my opinion and almost scary. I don’t usually get into fights with my parents, and if I do they’re small ones. This is very recent by the way what has been happening.

    • profile image

      Gabby 

      4 weeks ago

      I hate my dad because, he always doesn't let me do my nails

    • profile image

      Someone 

      7 weeks ago

      I really hate my dad so much he treats our brothers better than us this really show that he love the son than the daughters it's really annoying and I hope one day he will regret what he done to me I don't understand why something so simple make he mad so badly like there's a ghost inside his body did someone put a spell on him but the great things is I'm not always in home cause I was study in boarding school it's actually really calm me down when you don't need to meet your parents can I turn 20 more faster

    • profile image

      Hatemydad 

      7 weeks ago

      My dad is an ass. I once pierced my ears and he told me to remove the earrings and when I refused he beat me with his belt and left my body scared for life I even pooed on my pants. Another instance is when he was agureing with my mom and I made a comment against him and he slapped me and kicked me on my back saying I disrespected him. He also refused for me to go to prom and to buy me a phone. I finally got one when I turned 17 and that's because I needed one for school. I hate the way he's paranoid about things and the way he treats my mother and him favouring his stupid relatives over us. He loves people praissing him and he puts me down and compares me with my younger brother because am not as smart as him. He would also never take blame for anything even if it was his fault. I wish he was dead plus all his crappy relatives so that my mom and I can be happy. He's behavior has caused me a great load of pain and I wish that I can go up to his face and tell him how much I hate him but I know that if I do that he'd probably just hit me. I wish that he wasn't my father because he's the worst person I know plus he is one of the key contributers of my mental health issues.

    • profile image

      unknown 

      8 weeks ago

      My dad is violating my privacy. He can go to an extent but now its going way too far. He made me turn my computer around so hee can see what i do. I dont do anything bad but its humiliating me among my friends during online class that my friends can see my dad watching me from behind. Why cant he trust me like other kids fathers??

      Another thing is he doesnt like it when i watch youtube, and if im watching youtube i should watch educational and"productive" videos. Why cant i watch something of my satisfaction when im not studying??

      Please tell what i should do

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      8 weeks ago

      Today my dad hit me in the face throw shoe at my dog and said Im dumb.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      My dad hits me with shoes hits me and yells at me when i did not say anything.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      He treats my stepmom better than my mom,makes her feel special and all. I just feel he loves her more than he loves my mom. I also have the feeling my mom feels lonely sometimes

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      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      I hate him. I honestly do not know why. He hasn’t physically hurt me, my mother, family, left, or tried to control me. I’ve already read several articles, and can identify with nothing. All I know is that I completely hate him. I don’t love him. I don’t even think I like him. I am repulsed by him. Angered by every noise he makes, and I want to cry even if I just see him slightly. I hate him so much, I’m miserable at home. I don’t want to touch the floor of the house ever, don’t want to touch anything after him, don’t want to go anywhere near him, and definitely don’t want to eat food he touches or makes even. I tried once, and I couldn’t swallow the bite I took. I hate calling him dad, or father, I don’t even like using the pronoun him to refer. I hate him. I can’t stand being around him. I hate him so, so much. Why do I hate him? When I cannot think of anything he has done that would hurt me, why do I so completely hate him? When others have issues that are so much worse than mine, why am I recoiling at his presence, why do I seek the physical pain to match my mental one, my anger? I hate him, I hate him, I HATE him. My mother is supportive, too. Of whatever I feel. She asked me if I hated him and I said I didn’t. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t admit it to her. But whenever he’s around, it’s the only thought I can ever have. I hate you. You make me feel disgusting.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      My father occasionally makes some sexual comments on me,when my mom is not present. They are often the ones that mean nothing when said but the expression and tone matter a lot. Several months ago,my father had to go to a business trip for 5 months. The time that I spent with my mom only were the best days of my life. Now yhat my dad is back,I have started hating him completely and totally confused about how to convey all of this to my mom. Please,I am 15 and I need help.

    • profile image

      Burrito 

      2 months ago

      My dad will not hear other people's opinions at all. He always thinks that he is 100% right and can never be wrong even when we show him proof of otherwise. He can just be so stubbornly bent on stupid things even when everyone else in our family tells him he is wrong.He doesn't value my opinion and emotions as he should. He just laughs emotion off. I am a very emotional person, and he is the opposite. He gives me freedom with most things but weirdly is a super control freak about a few select things. He is mostly nice, though, he just acts so stupid and can't understand things. He is a real pain to be around. He also always yells at me and punishes for random things that don't make sense, and the next minute he acts like everything is fine and wants to play ping pong and "be with his familiy."

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      anonymous 

      2 months ago

      i dont want to call him dad, father or anything like that, he doesnt deserves it. he abuses me alot, ok i did some mistakes in past but he taunts alot and makes me cry on them he constantly says he is feeding me he keeps on making me remember he gives me money because i am still studying and not earning i am in second year of my engineering. on top of that i got failed in two class tests, so he got two new reasons to taunt me. hes like so irritating that i just get so irritated and devastated that either i end up beating myself or i go to depression for many days, i cant sleep at night due to it. he abuses hell alot, to me to my mother and my sister even. he just wants to speak and doesnt listens to anyone, he always keep on barging about what he does and always tries to prove himself as hes protecting us but hes actually treating me as a slave or a laborer, i really wanna kill myself every day i wake up and he makes such a shit face like i did something wrong itself in the morning

      this piece of shit respects no one, NO ONE, not his mother not his father or his own brother leave me and my mother and sister apart. he never respected anyone. he just beats us up and abuses us when his things dont get done. i wanna end my life, i know nobody can help me here and to be honest i am just tired, tired of my life, tired of me, tired of me being bore, recently he said kids like you dont deserve to even be alive, go die you piece of shit, he keeps on saying i hope i never had a piece of shit son like you whos good for nothing, i am how to tell him, i know he wont even care if i dead or alive because he simply doesnt. I NEED HELP I REALLY DO NEED HELP

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      2 months ago

      My dad has been sexually abusing me since I was three and he absolutely hates my mother as well. No one knows and I feel absolutely horrible about it, like I'm having an affair or something and I feel so broken all the time. I want to tell someone but I'm afraid that of the consequences and how my siblings would view me. I don't want to break up our family. I hate it so much. I feel so broken. I hate him for breaking me but then being the only one I can go to in the end about it. He knows it caused me to sink in severe depression, get panic attacks several times a day and become an insomniac. I get 3 or less hours every night. I used to be a A student with so much potential, but now I can't even imagine a future for myself. He knows this but he still tells me he wishes he could marry me and that he loves me so much. I feel like he's messing with my brain and I just want to get away but I can't. I'm 17 years old and he's been bedridden with cancer. I'm his primary caee taker and even now he still wants me around and always tries to touch me. He hates my mom too and always complains that she doesn't pleasure him. He hates her despite everything She does to for him. He obviously got it a lot because he has six children, but he always complains about it. Even blames this whole sexual abuse that's been happening for years and years on the both of it. He says my 2-3 year old self was practically drooling over him. I hate him. My siblings hate him too, but for other reasons. He makes false promises and we're also so poor. Why have 6 children if you even struggle without? He's disgusting. I'm just waiting for him to die already. He can't even roll over and he still wants to have his way with me. Disgusting.

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      Katie 

      2 months ago

      My father is quite a control freak, especially about my room, and he constantly gets angry over the smallest of things, such as a pencil being dropped and me not seeing it. (I kid you not, there was a pencil under my bookshelf and I couldn't see it, and he got mad and wouldn't let me use my free time until I eventually saw it.) He forces me to do school work, and yes, that is very small, however, it's different when you already have done the school work and you have a schedule which permits you two-three hours of free time and then when you are ON said free time, you're not allowed to have it.

      I've recently fallen into a harsh state of depression, constantly belittling myself and just overall not liking myself or other things, and when I tell him and my mother, he just says the only way to make myself not feel guilty is to get my butt up, go to college and get a good job because that's the only way to get anywhere in life. I constantly get blamed for tiny things and I really can't take it anymore. Not to mention I've been the butt of jokes from friends and him for years, and I am through, but I can't tell him anything or I'll get the same answer of "just get a good job".

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      Despair bear 

      2 months ago

      My father is always a hot-tempered man.He gets angry easily ,he scolds my mother and starts fights.I usually sit in a conner and cry but as i grow older,I changed,I put an expressionless mask on my face when i faced him.It was a long time since I cried,and I never consider myself to hate him.But ,that night,changed everything.It was a night like any other day.He came up rushing cause we are late for the usual sleeping time by just 1 minute.When he entered the room,he started beating me.He usually beats me but this time its different i wasnt the only one who did something wrong.He screamed and shouted at me yet my sister who is also at fault wasnt scolded nor beated.Its like im his personal beating bag when he gets angry.I cried.I decided that i dont want to share the same bedroom with him anymore. I hid in the toilet and dried my tears while not forgetting to lock the door.He wasnt happy with my decision.He came barging in the room and he threatened me to open the door.He said if i dont come out,bad things will happen.He even said he would break down the door.I didnt dare open the door cause i know the punishment will be severe.He pounded on the door countless of times,each loud sound made me panic even more.I couldnt take it anymore and ran out .He was about to beat me but my mother stopped him from doing so.That night,I cried myself to sleep.I will never forget how loud every time he pounded the door.

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      Anonymous 

      3 months ago

      A day would not get by without my 'father' starting a fight with my mother.He would call her a pig even though she did nothing wrong.My mother used to be a slender woman but after his constant ignorance to her appearance,she despaired and gave up on body shaming after her pregnancy with my sister.My father treats me the same way he treats her,if not worse cause I look identical to when my mother was young.He would get angry on small things and he forces me to do things that I dont want to.He even told me he cant hit mother cause if he did,than it would be against the law.But my case is different,he have complete dominion over me,cause he is my father,he could hit me however he liked.He acted like the world revolves around him.Now,I became rebellious cause im fed up with

      him.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      3 months ago from Australia

      Ally, I'm sorry your stepfather treats you so badly Try to talk with your mother privately when your dad can't hear. Tell her exactly how you feel and ask her to help you. Don't expect her to 'know' how you feel. Make sure you tell her. Write back to me and tell me how things work out. I'm hoping she'll be able to make life a bit easier for you.

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      Ally Ricard 

      3 months ago

      My stepdad is the absolute worst. He gets very drunk and then yells in me and my mom's face. He starts fights. He calls "just a little girl" " stupid" "dumb" and laughs when i tell my mom someone is bullying me. He says im worthless and i cant do anything. He threatens to kick us out when he knows we cant afford to be kicked out. He also treats my stepsister like she is queen of the world and she gets whatever she wants when she wants it. Pls help.

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      Greg 

      3 months ago

      I love him yet I hate hi he is really mean and I just dont like anything about him not even his new self

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      Otter 

      3 months ago

      I just really never had a connection with him. I don’t like him. I don’t think of him as a father and I dislike everything about him from the way he carries himself to how he spends his free time. It’s almost a deep disgust. Maybe if myself for being related to him or the fact that I see how oblivious he is to his flaws and I never want to be like that. I almost never get in an argument that I’m not certain I’ll win. I don’t like arguing with him. I make valid points about things like clarifying his this and that stuff because he’s never specific and he gets mad that I can’t understand what he’s asking because it’s so broad. And then when he’s backed into a corner because I have a valid point, then he’ll tell me to, “drop it.” And I hate it! I don’t know if it’s the dismissal or feeling like I’m never seen but I just severely dislike everything that makes him who he is.

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      Awe 

      4 months ago

      My Father is not so bad. He's very friendly to neighbors and others. He never abuse us physically. He always pays the bill, until he retire. He always wants the best for us in education. At least that's all I know. According to my mother, he is not so good of a father before I was born. He never been there for my mother, physically and financially. My older brother even called him by 'sir/mr', since he was never been home (working). She feels like hasn't married to anyone. My parents always arguing about chores and our economy condition, ever since I was a child. I NEVER hate on him back then, instead I feel sorry for him being the anger target for my mother. She always argue about how ignorant/stupid my dad was and is.

      I'm in my 20s now, I still live with my parents (pretty common in where I live). And he is retire now. 2 years ago he lives in my grandparents house because he was passed away. We always texting, asking how each other doing. Now he come back living with us, I was the one insisted for him to return. My mother disagree, saying it is better for him to stay there. Now I regret it. Time passes by, I can see how ignorance he is. He never even care for his own health and his own hygiene. he do chores but not straight, it's always involving us finishing it or cleaning up his mess. He always do the same mistakes dozen times, and never learnt. He rejects advices and very denial. He also got a big mouth, I understand that he likes to talk with people, but please can it be not family's matter that he's discussing with others. He never doing things that is satisfy us. For some of you, this might sounds selfish or else. But I'm not the only one feeling this way. My mother and younger brother also feels the same. I can feel the atmosphere in my home is unhealthy, due to argumentation we always had on our father. I think this gotten worse bcs I dare to curse him. I know what I did/feel was wrong, but I can not let this things slide, this is also bad for him if we ignore his ignorance.

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      Dean 

      5 months ago

      When I was a child I loved my Dad with a child-like faith but over the years when I got older, I can see how selfish and controlling he was. At age 17 that's when I knew I didn't like him anymore. I use to always say to my Mom I don't want to be like him, Mom. She would always say Dean, just accept the good and don't except the bad. There are four siblings in my family and all of us have a dislike for our father.

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      Adi 

      5 months ago

      My dad was awful to my sister and now I can’t even look at him without thinking about what he did. I think he loves us but he is overbearing and not open to what we want. He also puts his girlfriend before me and my sister it seems like. I cry every time I have to go to his house. That’s why I hate him and can’t get over it.

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      Sara 

      6 months ago

      It’s funny because i hate my father very much and he do all thing that you write☝

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      Dandre 

      6 months ago

      I hate my dad because he's always mad at me for some reason... He drinks and tells me and my mom to fuckoff out of his life... I just wish i can go somewhere and never see him again

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      7 months ago from Australia

      Hi. Concentrate on the parts of your life you are happy with and try not to let your dad spoil your days. You will grow up and you will leave home. Keep your mind on the future and don’t get too caught up in your problems of today. I know it sounds hard, but I’m sure you can do it.

    • profile image

      He thinks he is doing what's right, but almost everything he does makes me hate him, and most of it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me 

      7 months ago

      I'm not happy with most of my life because of him.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      8 months ago from Australia

      I think you should talk with your grandparents because you obviously respect their opinions. Maybe it would work well for you living with them.

      You sound to me like you’ll be very successful in business in your adult years. You cleverly think through all the financial issues, which most teenagers (and many adults) don’t.

      It is tough for any kid who is more clever than their parents. Parents can get frustrated and flounder, saying and doing things that make no sense and just making situations worse. But in some ways, it helps to just keep reminding yourself they’re obviously not blessed with a brain like yours ... and your future life looks much brighter than theirs.

      I want you to put your clever brain to the task of figuring out how you can survive living with them with minimal conflict if you don’t get to live with your grandparents.

      Surviving your teenage years is your current mission. Thriving and enjoying your adult years will follow. You’ll have many, many happy adult years so I promise you it is worth the wait!

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      8 months ago

      Hi and i have just lost hope and everything in this world just because of my parents, My both parents are stupid enough to not being able to understand what doing something else means.

      Now heres the good part of the bad , I always like to do chores and stuff bla bla bla and everytime i do that i do it with my will, i dont want to be my parents dog just fricking helping them with everything , This just keeps on continuing .... It has been 2 years now since i was 12. My birthday is on february and when its someones birthday you get presents you know and i expected nothing but a good bicycle and i didnt get one so heres the beginning of no end. I invited my 15 cousins so, here in sweden 25$ is 250kr almost and thats alot for 13 year old kid, so it began with this when i got money from everybody my father began to think this was some bussiness going on like birthday bussineses because everybody was giving money on each birthday party so what i got what was from 15 people 25$ each person and that makes up too 3.750 on swedish money. If my father could think close enough and use his intelligence he wouldve understood that birthday parties your supposed to give presents and presents here is money because sometimes you may buy an Medium hoodie when he needs a Large, i earned 3750 kr (swedish money) With that money i knew i could use that money to give back in my friends birthday parties you gotta remember Some families of our doesnt make birthday parties theirselves but goes to others, i can name them but i wont for their sake, 15 cousins came to my place and 8 of em doesnt do parties because their place isnt right for a party so if i calculated right from 3750, i get to keep 2000kr and give them back the 7 left their 1.750, i did that. I had 2000 kr in my pocket at the time i didnt have credit card or anything im keeping them in my wallet 2000kr oof thats alot for a kid to keep in a pocket so still i dont have one and never wont get untill im 18 for sure because my father. Anyways i had 2000 kr left so i bought a bicycle and my father said ok you can buy one and from nowhere he said I wont let you do anymore birthday parties because this is a birthday party bussines your doing / - Giving him 25$ hes giving him that one him l... So long story short that ended i said fine , so i never do birthday parties where i invite and yeah.

      Now here where the awful things come, Im living my life you know, a late friday we eat candy and chips having a good night watching Movies and i get an idea of selling my bicycle on an website called Blocket.se just like Ebay and all that stuff, I can sell it for 2000, I also have a ps4 slim with 2 controllers and 3 games also sell them 2000+ 3300 = 5300 kr In pocket Clear, Bicycles fresh used 1-2 months dont remember so much, 5300kr in pocket I can build a gaming pc ( Strong computer ) that will come in effort for my future and stuff, i will start going on college and it will help me with essays and quick upload speed it will give me Motivation to work harder and my father said yes to it we had made a deal and when a deal is broken theres always a reason... Fathers are real disasters they can break deals just because their a "King of the house" and my bitch mother following his steps and being his yes man" So much stupidty in my family right.. Your probably laughing cause i am, the dumbest turkish family in the whole world never seen such worse, anyways we agree and its time to sell my stuff, I know what my fathers thinking is, Before before long time ago 1 year 2016 December i got my ps4 2017 June i had been playing so much in summer ( NO FRICKING SCHOOL) He wanted to get rid of it so he started making "good deals with me" it started of with sell ur ps4 ill get u the finest bicycle etc etc . And i didnt take the trap i was too smart to get my parents to sell my ps4 they wouldve just broken the deal either way after i sold it and wouldve taken my money. He said to me Sell your ps4 first and , bicycle you can sell later i understood that this was some of his dumb ridicilous trap , I said ill sell it after you buy me a gaming pc , he said ok fine you have to behave and be good do chores thats when i got angry because i always do chores i clean up whats mine i dont need to be going in your room lixking all the dust i do whats mine and not my little sisters, yours or anyones, ill do whats mine and what mines part of Trash, fine my trash also, Food fine put the plates in the machine fine, clean rooms guests coming over fine, when i dont do 1 small thing when my fathers getting like coffee to guests i need to be with him delivering it to the Board where there is Fruits, And stuff i didnt do that one time he canceled up everything called me an idiot and your never getting anything again after the guests left ./ He also said while the guests were here he said Stop being idiotic and help me and you are nothing but shit , HE IS A MOTHERFUCKER I DONT FUCKING LIKE MY FATHER, I HOPE HE DIES I have been Mentally disabled like seriously i dont want this life anymore i want to move to my Grandma and grandpa and they are much more better parent then my parents they are so dumb i Dont get a pc, I NEVER GET APPRECIATED WHEN I GET GOOD GRADES , THEY SAY IM TRASH AND DONT DO SHIT WHILE IM THE ONE LICKING ALL THE DUST, Im fucking done Today also in the car he is all good anf shit then he starts making excuses like i cant affiord you a gaming pc, i say just 7000 more Kr and he says no, today he bought a Car cleaner machine for 2000kr and hes thinking of buying me a gardrobe for 1500 kr and he says he cant afford he also bought a new Hugo Boss watch for hisself and 2 new glasses that costs alot he just says shut off when i Own him.

      I need serious help with this , i just want to die i dont care how just die painless getting stabbed overnight maybe works i dont know.. Please id you could help me. I have been having this for over 2 yeara now. I have tried everything it doesnt help my parents are dumb as fuck they are stupid whores.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      8 months ago from Australia

      I’m sorry that you’re broken.

      Your mum is obviously doing her best so I hope you are supportive and help her around the house. She needs to know you appreciate her efforts.

      As for your dad, he has a responsibility to pay child support. In some countries, child support can be taken by the government from his pay pack.

      If he isn’t responsible enough to voluntarily help meet the many costs associated with raising children, I think you should suggest to your mother she take steps to have the government intervene.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      8 months ago from Australia

      I’m pleased you and your sister stand up for each other but if your father still slaps or beats you or your sister, you really must tell someone and ask for help.

      If he can’t be trusted when you go to visit him, maybe he should be visiting you at your mother’s house or a grandparent’s house.

      I’d like you to talk to adults in your life and get some advice.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      8 months ago from Australia

      Liv, you are making your way through childhood the best you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re going to make occasional mistakes, we all do.

      The day may come when you feel like apologising to those you pushed away. If you explain to them what was going on, they should understand. But you don’t have to open your heart to everyone, especially not now while you’re still young. Just do what you need to do to get through each day, and week, and year.

      Find a handful of people you can trust and turn to, and make your dad ‘less important‘ in your life.

      Your mother was obviously worried enough to take you to the doctor. Can you talk with her?

      Maybe you could ask her to take you back to the doctor. You could say to your doctor, in front of your mom, “Last time I was here you asked me if there was trouble at home and if I was abused in any way. I said no, but that wasn’t true and I want to talk to you about it.”

      It could be helpful to have the conversation in front of your mom so that she can hear how you really feel ... and hopefully she can also get some advice from the doctor.

      You shouldn’t feel guilty about any of what’s going on, Liv. Your parents are the adults. It is their responsibility to keep you feeling safe.

    • profile image

      broken 

      8 months ago

      my dad is supposed to child support to my mum every month right now he owes her 37,000. My mother has been struggling to keep us afloat living of her pay check with two girls. I have felt that I never had close relationship with my dad. but over the years I got to know him and I hate him.Just to see him sad I call him his name instead of dad.thx for reading

    • profile image

      um 

      8 months ago

      I have ptsd from childhood, all I can remember from my parents being together is them screaming all the time, my dad blames me and my sister when one of his relationships go to crap, it hurts but I know its not our fault. whenever he yells at me know I can just sit there and cry hoping he wont hit me again like in childhood. sometimes he has to stop himself from slapping me. one day I heard him and my sister arguing and then he slapped her, I started crying but I heard more screaming and he slapped her twice more, I was furious because that was my sister so this was the first time I stood up to him, " you cant treat her like that, shes my sister and I love her, so you need to respect her." He obviously didn't like that and he tried to slap me but my sister stopped it. I try to be happy now but all I can think about is how he used to beat me and my sister.

    • profile image

      Liv 

      9 months ago

      My dad started drinking after I was born, as long as I knew, my dad would be drunk and yell at myself and my 3 siblings, causing us to be afraid of any little action... or word or joke... so we alll would stay out of the house... most nights my sister had to convince me that dad loved us... BS now..

      When I was 10-11 my dad got his 4th D.U.I ... he was so pissed about it and the drinking stopped cause he had an ankle bracelet.... this happened 2 months before my birth day... during our annual family vacation in Hayward, I made a mistake as he was trying to dock the boat and I got SCREAMED at about how stupid I am... he had the guts to apologize to me and say he didn't mean it...

      He a few weeks later went to court and was setemced 2 or 3 motnhs in a rehab place... he missed the while summer and my first day of 5th grade.

      The summer of 6th grade I spiraled into a deep depression and pushed everyone away, and some hold it against me still. It was bad too the point I could not love anything about myself... so my mom took me to the doctor and the doctor ushered my mom out of the room and aksed "Is there trouble at home? Does anyone abuse you in anyway?" I said "No" because I wasn't sure about it at all... though, yes, there was alot of trouble and yes I was verbally abused.

      My dad is an awful one and fits in with

      -Abusive

      -Makes my mom cry

      -Control freak

      -Makes me feel guilty

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      9 months ago from Australia

      Hello Abe. When you finish high school you will be able to assess your options and come up with a plan to move away from your father. We are adults for a lot longer than we are children. As an adult you can make the decision not to let your father control your life.

      When you do good at anything, feel proud. Don’t listen to your father’s negativity. Yes, he has made your childhood difficult ... but I want you to have the confidence that you can create a great future life for yourself and you won’t let him spoil your adult years.

      Dream about a positive future ... and then work to make it your new reality!

    • profile image

      Abe 

      9 months ago

      I hate my dad, i hate my dad so much that i try everything just to be the opposite of my dad. We from Africa but he treats us like we still in Africa been a control freak, no matter how good i do he always find something nwgative about it. He put guilt on me to a point where i can't speak, i hate my dad so much that the feelings i have i hide it in me its like a bomb that's about to go off. He even want me to stay in the same place when i finish highschool. What should i do?

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      9 months ago from Australia

      Satyapriya, you should follow your dreams. Lots of successful actors had no encouragement from their families ... but they still had success.

      Your dad will have less influence in your life after you move out. So keep studying and preparing for your new, happy, adult life!

    • profile image

      Satyapriya 

      10 months ago

      Very nicely said all points, as i see my dad, he abuse me, he cheated on my mom and he break my heart everyday. I wanted to be an actor, he called me humilated me badly. I just want someone to understand my feelings rather than devastating my abilities. Thanks,i am feeling nice after sharing my thoughts. He tilr me lies about leaving my mom i have seen his letter send to step fuc*ker mom,he really cheated on my mom. Now i don't like being with him,when i get graduate i will be leaving my home.

    • profile image

      Help please 

      10 months ago

      My dad complains about everything. He doesn’t clean, is selfish, doesn’t help my mum financially AT ALL! He does not work at all and sits at home all days and finds a way to talk shit on my mom and her aunt that lives with us. Her aunt earns money and spends it on us and he manages to verbally abuse her and tell her she shouldn't be there and talks to be about how much he hates her but when he is in a good mood he has monologues with her like nothing ever happened. He talks for hours selfishly as if people want to listen but nobody respects him anymore. One time he got angry at me for absolutely no reason and my great aunt defended me and he started yelling. I had a breakdown and she hugged me. He continued yelling and said why didn't you speak up earlier and she said I don't listen to you and he said well then why do you sit in the kitchen all day you have a room in this house. I yelled at him and said that she is my family and he can't talk to her like that he continued standing there talking as if nothing happened. My 7 year old brother started crying because of what was happening and my dad wanted to defend himself I said shut the fuck up you're disrespectful and ruining my family. I know it was harsh but he has been doing this for years and he is insanely disrespectful. My mum is struggling financially as she does with everything and he doesn't work but lives off of her money as if he is rich and buys cigarettes everyday . What should we do? What can we do? He angers me so much. He doesn't understand that I hate him and I wish that he did. He angers me so much no one gets it I just don't know what to do please respond to this:(

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      insha 

      10 months ago

      because he hates me too..

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      layaninaa 

      11 months ago

      My dad is a stranger . He dont have a job and always stole the money from my mom and he smoking with a bad small . He is kind with us but bad with mama so she kick him out from the home . He travel far to his family so everybody laughed at him cause mom has kick hom out and that hurt me hard . I talk with him but our relationship is so cold and that make me feel sad when i saw myfriends with they re dads . I dont know why i cant be close with him s i try but i cant and i feel so helpless since he is ill now

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      Christina 

      11 months ago

      My dad, isn't my real dad. I know that sounds werid and it is. You see my real dad passed away when i was eight years old. I was at school during that time when he had a car accident. My parents were planning 5o pick me up after school, but seems like they had came a across with an argument. I never really found out what they were arguing about. My mom won't even tell specifically what happened. But later on I found her diary and read it. How He didn't have a cat accident, but an attempted suicide. He could've lived, only if those docoters at least tried to save him and not thought about the stupid money! He had a brian damage... The doctors had claimed that he wanted to donate his organs to an old lady that was about to die too. But of course i refuse to except any of this. I didn't want him to go, he promised me and my siblings that we'll go fishing. But here i am with another guy that isn't related to me, or even my bloodline. I wasn't suplose to go fishing with him! Not him! I want my dad! Not this man that replaces whoever he wants! My mom once thought it's okay to marry another man, she thought it would made us let's people to look down on us. She married him when I was 10. Literally 3 years after my dad's death. I knew this man wasn't my dad, but I was forced to accept him. I really didn't like him at all. He had abused my mother! He forced her to have sex with him even before they gotten married!! I don't wnat him but I must. If it makes her happy fine, but now and then I would do something to myself that I shouldn't have done... And I perfect not to say. Let's just say it leaves on marks/scars. I go to a all white school that he forced upon me. I didn't want 5o change schools, but I'll tell you he ain't making my life any better. I would have a school physiologist to talk to me about making "friends". Chay right, friends? I don't NEED them. I'll just blad about my stupid life, and then they'll just spread it among themselves. I just need to be okay for once. Just okay. It's been 5 years now, and here I am, just turned 15. And I will always hate him. I was told when I hate someone dearly to my heart, it means I had murdered them. And I don't mind. I just wanna grow up fast and live away from him. So yeah that's my story, it's not as bad as everyone else's but hey, we all suffer here and there flooding someone. Thanks for listening.

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      Betty 

      11 months ago

      Hi. I am an 18 year old girl who still lives with her parents. I will be nineteen in December, which is the age of majority in my country (which is when I can legally rent a place or open my own bank account or get a credit card). I am still living with my parents even though I want nothing more than to finally escape. They are emotionally/verbally abusive. I have tried to take your advice on how to talk with them about stuff when they blame me for things and won't apologize, but they literally ignore any points I make if they don't want to accept what I have to say. I would have left right now, even if I can't technically get my own place or anything, but I am afraid because I have lived a pretty sheltered life (I only lived alone when I went on a trip for two months), and my biggest problem is that I am financially dependant on them. I have savings, but they own a bakery and this is literally the only place I have worked my whole life. If I were to leave and find a new job or apartment, they would be my only references, you know? How can I get away from them or at least get over my fear of doing something that will get me kicked out/my savings blocked (as my parent has to be on the account as well)? My dad especially is always talking about how I am naive and won't survive the 'real world'.

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      athina 

      11 months ago

      my dad seems manipulative, whenever i ask him to do something, he always mentions him dying even if i just simply ask him to clean the dishes while i'm walking the dog. He also blames me for everything, i stay in my room most of the time unless i'm asked to help out, do some chores etc. other than that, i sit in my room and listen to music since i genuinely want to avoid him and if we ever have an argument, he brings it up to state a "fact" although its completely uneccesary. He calls me useless, manipulative, tells me to hang myself quite often and then acts like nothing happened. it's an everyday thing though, i'm used to it. there were some points where it got physical, he kicked me so i'd straight out "fly" into my room so he wouldn't have to see my "disgusting" face. he compares me to other children that apparently behave better, are more fit. i can't talk out to him because the last time i talked out about me having suicidal thoughts, i was called manipulative and a liar. the last time i've gotten a hug, an "i love you" from him (when he was sober) was about 4-ish years ago. Once i asked him why he didn't love me and as you guessed, i got called manipulative for that. it's the biggest thing that brings me down.

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      Blue Gaves 

      11 months ago

      I hate my dad because he has anger management issues and stress management issues. He shouts at me (not everyday) about how i stay in my room all day. And honestly the reason why i stay here is because I'm afraid and scared of him. If he tells me to do something like wash his car i will do it. Then after i would go in my room again. I'm completely fine going outside when my dad isn't home or when I'm with my mom in the house. I just can't be with him in the living room or any room. I'm never happy around him but I'm always happy with my mom. She is the type that supports me. My dad isn't. We never had a real conversation or a dad and son moment. Maybe when i was a baby or a child. He doesn't even know my age. He just assumes it. And that is also why he gets angry. Assumptions. I took his groceries from the car because he told me to and i did. A box fell but he was not there then he just assumed a threw it on the ground. Then got angry at me saying i stay in my room all day. I really can't seem to talk to him about this matter. All he does is get angry. Sometimes i think why my mom chose to marry him. He is not suitable to be a parent. Probably why my sister stopped school and doesn't have a job. He the type to blame everything on someone else. I'd always cry in my room when he shouts at me or gets angry at me. Maybe because of that i feel comfortable in my room on not want to go outside when he's around. I always laugh and smile with mom around but not with him.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Sky, it must be very annoying for you. Perhaps you could say to your dad, “I’m not like that, dad. Are you worried about this kind of thing because that’s how you were as a teenager?”

      Establish with him if he believes he was trustworthy as a teenager. Develop the conversation from there. Hopefully you can help him see you deserve to be trusted.

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      Naomi 

      12 months ago

      My dad always throws a pity party when I’m around. It’s all the time. Today, I walked into the kitchen for dinner and my dad was talking to me, and I was giving answers to all of his questions and I was being nice, just quiet because I’m on pms. He just asked why I was being so quiet and I shrugged. He then went on to say how I act like he’s the most annoying person ever and how he thinks I hate him. I will admit, I can be kind of quiet around my family members, but I still am kind and treat them with respect. Another example is when we were sitting at a bench on the forth of July waiting to watch fireworks when my dad said “Hey, look at the tree line, it’s pretty.” I told him I saw because I was focusing on the landscape while they were taking photos. He took that as me disrespecting him, and once again said that I hated him. He never gave me a chance to talk, he just assumed how I felt. He does it all the time and I feel like in my house I don’t have a voice to say anything without it being used against me. What do I do?

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      Sky 

      12 months ago

      What ab when they never let u go anywhere or they don’t trust u even though u never did something for them not to and thinks you r going to go around and sleep with random ppl even tho u have never done anything like that

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Kit, I’m writing to you a second time (even before you continue your story). I’m particularly concerned you don’t feel safe at night. Plus I can see there could be big, unexpected problems with your sister, ‘B’.

      Because I will also be chatting with Alexis (and anyone else who writes here), I encourage you to scroll down every time you come back to this page. My answers to you might be jumbled in among posts to others. Okay?

      Now first, let’s talk about your sister. ‘B’ had the same difficult childhood as you, made even more complicated by being touched inappropriately by your stepdad. And even more complicated when CPS became involved. (She confided in a friend, and suddenly she’s in the middle of a big, emotional firestorm ... feeling as though she had to say she lied.) Geez. That’s a tough childhood.

      And now she’s a druggie, living in a trashy apartment with her boyfriend and his mother. Sadly, that’s quite in keeping with how life goes for many youngsters who have been sexually assaulted, and then faced with the emotional dilemma of not seeking justice for fear of upsetting their mother.

      I’m sorry, Kit, but my gut feeling is that your sister was telling the truth. And I believe you absolutely must heed her warning to ‘be safe’.

      Let’s talk more about her for a moment. (This is important, and will help you better understand my advice to you about other things.)

      You said you became aggressive, and that you are an animal person. I’m thinking your sister, B, is also aggressive and an animal person. That cat may be something she truly loves.

      I’m hoping you’ll say to her, “Don’t worry, B. I’ll look after the cat, and you can come and get it whenever you’re ready.” I want you to say it, and I want you to mean it. Here’s why:

      You need to let go of having any kind of ‘competition’ with B. You are both victims of your childhood. And even though it probably doesn’t feel like it, you are actually both on the same team. You might never be ‘close’ sisters, but you have a heck of a lot in common. In fact, many of the things you have in common are what drive you apart. Particularly the aggression. (If you’d had a younger sibling, I fear you also might have become a bully.)

      So please don’t compete with her about the cat. And don’t feel jealous that she’s your stepfather’s ‘favorite’. Believe me, it much less damaging to be yelled at by your stepfather, than to be touched inappropriately.

      B has big problems. But they’re not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to her, and you can’t blame yourself for the path her life is taking!

      You can’t blame her, either. She’s trying to cope/escape/survive etc. And unfortunately I don’t see how you can help her work through this process ... other than keeping yourself safe, and babysitting her cat.

      On the subject of giving her money, I understand what you’re saying. Yes, there is a danger she’ll buy drugs. And yes, there’s a real risk she might overdose again. It will be a real tragedy if she dies.

      So instead of giving her money, perhaps you could occasionally buy her a small gift, like (cheap) funky earrings, or a jacket from a secondhand store. She might seem rude and ungrateful, but don’t be discouraged. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your loving gesture, even if it is in the middle of the night, sitting by herself. To have her sister show love and caring, just might turn her life around.

      We hope she will work through her issues and successfully overcome her addictions. But if she doesn’t and tragedy strikes, you’ll know you tried to make peace with her.

      I’m trusting you not to make the kind of decisions your sister made. Being safe has a lot to do with your lifestyle choices, including staying away from drugs.

      You can talk with me here as often as you need. I want you to be aware of positive options for addressing problems.

      For now though, I’ll have to stop writing. We’ll talk again soon.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      I didn’t stop reading, Kit. I was with you all the way. If there’s more, please tell me. I will certainly write back to you with my thoughts, but it makes sense to have the whole story so I can give proper thought.

      Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your writing is not choppy, and I understand every word. I’m actually very impressed by the effort you’re making to give a full picture of what’s going on.

      So you rant, and I’ll read. Then I’ll give you my advice. Hopefully I can help you.

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      Alexis 

      12 months ago

      Ok I'll do it Thursday when my dad gets off work and I would love to come back and talk to you more

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Alexis, you explain yourself and make your points very clearly. All you need is the confidence to talk with your dad. I’m sure once you accept you have a right to be heard, you’ll be happier to talk.

      Nobody else is going to speak up for you about this, Alexis. You have to do it yourself. So take a deep breath and go tell him. “Dad, I miss Mom. I really want to visit her.”

      Believe in yourself. I believe in you! So go talk to your dad, then come back and talk with me more.

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      Alexis 

      12 months ago

      Thank you I will tell you how it goes and hopefully he lets me see her cause my brother gets to see her but he lives with his dad and step mom like me and another reason I want to see her is so my brother doesn't have to feel alone while with her I know how he feels about her so I want to be there with my brother and my mom cause I know their both going threw lonely times and my mother. Is engaged u also don't want to miss her wedding

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Muhammad, we all face challenges in life. I can see you have challenges including your health and your difficult father.

      You really must not do anything that makes things worse. I hope you will show love and support towards your mother and sister. I trust you will work hard to gain an education, and get a good job so you don’t need money from your father.

      Your father can make your home life unpleasant during your childhood. But he can’t stop you from being successful and happy as an adult.

      Create a good, strong future for yourself. Welcome your mother and sister to share your adult life and future happiness ... and turn your back on your father.

      You don’t have to see him when you are older. Unfortunately you have no choice now, so I encourage you to busy yourself with your study and other activities instead of concentrating on him. Keep your focus on the future. The years will pass and you’ll soon be an adult! I encourage you to be ready when the time comes.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Hexy, not every dad is a prince. It would be great if they were, but a lot of fathers are more like toads. Sadly.

      I know it doesn’t feel fair to have a dad who is a disappointment.

      I also know plenty of kids like you who have grown to be happy, healthy, successful adults ... despite having been disappointed by their fathers throughout childhood.

      Sooner or later you’ll have a prince in your life. No, he won’t be your dad. He’ll be some other fabulous guy who enters your life and makes you feel like a princess!

      Meanwhile, you just have to put up with the toads, including your dad. Finally meeting a real prince is worth the wait, I promise.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Alexis, I hear what you’re saying and I understand. But I’m not giving up on you working this out, and I don’t want you giving up either.

      I accept that you and your dad can’t talk without feeling uncomfortable. So the price you’ll have to pay is leaving your comfort zone and feeling uncomfortable for a while. Really, that’s not the end of the world.

      I want you to walk up to your dad and say, “I miss mom. I really want to visit her.”

      If you don’t say that to him, he won’t know. And if he doesn’t know, he’s never going to change his mind.

      Go on, Alexis. You can do it. By making the effort to actually say those words out loud, your father will see how important it is to you.

      You’ve told me you want to see your mom. Now it’s time to tell your dad. He’s the one who can make it happen.

      Let me know how you go.

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      Hexy 

      12 months ago

      Hey! I dont feel any connection with my dad. Every girls prince is his dad. But, in my condition he's not my prince nor he's a good human being. He verbally abuse us in our family. He has no manners at all. This is the reason my brother is very non mannered right now because he didn't care him properly. Bad languages, meanest person who think about himself.

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      Muhammad 

      12 months ago

      My father don't own me he always beat us I have health issues my height is quite small he beat my mother he don't care my sister is less than. 5 feet and now when people become old he will do second wife and do not give any share so I want to beet him and to never see him again

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      Alexis 

      12 months ago

      Thank you long time mother for the advice but me and my dad we can't really talk to each other without feeling uncomfortable and when he makes up his mind he doesn't really change it and it would probably take a few years to change his mind so I really don't know what to do about my problem and also I would never make the decisions that my mother made but I guess my father thinks I hate her for it but I don't but if he suspects I hate my mom then he might also suspect I don't want to see her but that isn't true and I don't know how to communicate without actually talking

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Alexis, try telling your dad that you have to see your mom because it is important to you to continue having a relationship with her. Tell him that you can’t cope with never seeing her. Promise you’ll try to be calm and settled when you come home from seeing her.

      I wonder if he’s worried you might end up getting involved with drugs too, because of her influence. Maybe you need to tell him he doesn’t have to worry about that, because you have no intention of making the same mistakes she did, and ruining your life. If you remove his ‘fear’, he might be more willing for you to see your mom.

      Alexis, I don’t know what’s really going on with you and your mom. I trust you’ll be safe and not let yourself be put in danger. Please don’t fight to spend time with her if her ‘world’ is in any way unsafe.

      But if you believe there’s no danger, take the time to explain it to your father. I think you’ll be pleased you made the effort to help him understand.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Your father has no one to blame but himself if you and your siblings choose to ignore him when you are old enough to move out, OllieBoy. He is cruel to be attacking your self esteem by calling you names, and yelling doesn’t help anyone.

      Grounding you like that sounds like he’s trying to prove he holds the power. But you and I both know it is petty and stupid. I’m sad that your mother doesn’t stand up for you. I think you need to tell her how you feel. And maybe you can talk to your grandparents ... especially his parents. Maybe he’ll listen to them if they tell him he’s making big mistakes in how he’s treating you.

      Perhaps you could address the power issue directly with your dad by saying to him, “I know you’re the boss,dad. You don’t have to ground me or yell at me all the time. Couldn’t you just try being a nice, friendly dad to us for a while, please?”

      Be calm, not upset, if you decide to try that. And only say it if you think it won’t make things worse. He might need someone to ‘remind’ him his behaviour is inappropriate. But I don’t want you ‘challenging’ him, if you know what I mean.

      Please remember how unpleasant it is to have a dad who behaves like him. Never let your own children in the future feel that way. When your time comes to be a parent, be a good one.

      I’m sorry you’re having such trouble with your dad, but don’t let him influence your own personality. Feel good about yourself. It is not your fault he’s so awful. You’ll be so-o-o much nicer than him!

    • profile image

      Alexis 

      12 months ago

      My father took an important choice away from me and it has changed my life my mother had done drugs and we had visitation untill one day we had stopped and he told me that I can't see her anymore and my step mom is nothing like her she cares more about ice cream than her own step daughter but what I'm trying to say is that my dad is responsible for me being broken my mother could fix that but he says I act bad after coming home from seeing her

    • profile image

      OllieBoy7236 

      12 months ago

      I only hate my dad because he grounds me for no reason.I remember i got grounded because one day i woke up late and he said i had 5 min to get downstairs. (I have a 2 story house) so i went to the bathroom,came downstairs and he said that i was grounded and i was like Why? He said it was 6 min. So i was only 1 min late and he grounded me.He also calls me and my siblings Stupid,Dumb, and useless.He also yells like a crazy person when hes mad.Even if i spill something he will yell at me. And he always blames me for EVERYTHING

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      I understand what you’re saying, anon. I suggest you try accepting that your dad is like your dad is. Sounds to me like he’s worried.

      I don’t know if it will help, but maybe encourage him not to stress about everything so much. Tell him you’ll let him know if he needs to worry about you, but meantime you’d like him to let you enjoy life.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Don’t stress about it, Jack. I’m thinking your dad may well see that he was wrong to complain. First game with a new team ... of course it takes some time to settle in.

      I suggest you don’t mention it again. Accept the grounding, but don’t apologise to him. It won’t take you long to settle in and gain confidence with your new team. Don’t let your dad spoil your fun. Hopefully he won’t be complaining in the future, now that you’ve argued with him. Good for you, Jack.

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      anonymous 

      12 months ago

      My dad always just wants attention and it's always at the expense of others. My mom has cancer again, and he is always over dramatizing everything and I hate it. He gets everything wrong. He says everything like it's so much worse than it actually is. I have heart problems and he's always over dramatizing that too and then I have to explain to everyone how most of the stuff he said isn't true. He's always telling everyone. I hate it so much and I'm tired of people saying it's his way of coping. I'm the child, he's the adult. I shouldn't be responsible for all of this. He also doesn't believe in me at all. When I graduated from therapy he told me I wasn't ready and that I will always struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm just so tired. Tired of his mean, stupid jokes. Tired of having to be an adult. I just want to be a teenager.

    • profile image

      Jack camm 

      12 months ago

      After a basketball game my dad seemed very upset with me. He told me I was just walking and out no effort into the game. I didn’t want to argue at the moments becuase I didn’t want to have a all out war with him. But, this is my first game ever playing with a new team, I’m playing a position I never played before, and I work out 2 hours a day and my legs were sore from the workouts. I didn’t tell him this right away to avoid a argument. But then he complains later on the way back home and I tell him what’s going on. And he says none of that is a excuse and proceeds to tell me that I am grounded for a day. The punishment is not bad at all, but I got mad at the fact that I am getting punished for this reason. I told my dad he was being kind of ignorant and he yelled at me after this. I want to apologize to him but he doesn’t want to talk. What should I do?

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      If you’re happier at your mother’s place, that’s a good thing, Vic99. I think it was a very wise decision to move out. Don’t give in to the guilt trips your dad’s side of the family dumps on you. Tell them you really want to have a good relationship with your father but now isn’t the time, for all the reasons you explained here.

      It is hard to know exactly why he’s being ‘better’ with your brother. Maybe he doesn’t want to make the same mistakes he made with you, maybe he’s trying to discourage your brother from also moving out ... or maybe he’s just trying to make you jealous.

      Unfortunately, even if you were to move back to his house, he probably wouldn’t be different. I suspect he’d feel like he’d ‘won’ and no longer have a reason to be nicer. I do hope your brother appreciates the difference in his life, thanks to you. It might not be until he is older and more mature, but I believe one day he is going to thank you.

      Europe is a great place to visit, but I suggest you go with friends when you’re older. It would be a tragedy to have beautiful places spoiled by your father’s attitude towards you. I’m not sure if he’s taking your brother or just leaving on your birthday. If he’s taking your brother without even inviting you, he’s just plain rude.

      I want you to make it your goal to let go of some of the stress, anxiety, depression. Don’t torture yourself over what’s happening with your dad. Concentrate on studying, and creating a bright future for yourself. There will be plenty of years to consider establishing a fresh relationship with your father once you’ve established yourself in the adult world and gained more confidence.

      I’m quietly confident your father will have no option other than respecting you for what you achieve in life. And if he’s honest with himself, he’ll respect you for moving out to live with your mom instead of putting up with his bad parenting.

      Again, it might take some years but sooner or later I think your dad will be thanking you as well. Particularly if it results in him having a better relationship with your brother. You may have provided him with the shock he needed to make changes in time to stop him from losing a second child from his home.

      Too early to tell exactly what will play out, Vic. But I am extremely proud of you for getting yourself out of an abusive home environment! I understand you’ve given up access to your dad’s cash flow, but waking up without money in a home where you don’t feel threatened is heaps better than money with fear.

      You’re going to be just fine. Don’t get swamped by the guilt and emotional blackmail. Smile to yourself, and be proud. You’re on your way to a brilliant adult life.

    • profile image

      Vic99 

      13 months ago

      Last July I moved out because I could not take my fathers abuse anymore when I was younger he used to hit and grab me he’s left bruises and I’ve had a sprained finger from the time he went to smack me and I put my hands up to defend myself in the last few years most of the abuse has been emotional and mental making me feel less than. I have a stress/anxiety/depression issue that I’ve been diagnosed by a doctor around the time I moved out anyway I moved out last year because I couldn’t take it anymore everything was always my fault or my mothers even though they’ve been separated for years I moved in with her, the only real reason I stayed with him is because he’s more financially stable and I was going to college I thought it would be easier, now that I’m with my mom things are better but my dads side is mad and they can’t seem to understand that what he’s doing isn’t good. I tried visiting every Friday which took a toll on my Friday night and one Friday I had a fever so I texted him saying I was just going to go home and go to bed he said to just come for dinner but I was exhausted and wanted to sleep was that so unreasonable and He turned around and said I didn’t need to lie even tho up till then I’d been keeping my promise so I stopped going bc I got mad and only went over on special occasions which in my family is at least once a month. My dads side keep saying things like he’s your father and he loves you and just make me feel guilty for leaving and I want a relationship with my dad he’s my father but I need him to understand what he’s done and he just wont he tries to justify it and doesn’t care that I’m hurt or that he continues to hurt me he gave my room to my brother even though he said I’d still have a home there and he’s been doing all these things with my brother that he’d never done before when I was there like skiing and tree top trekking and now what hurts the most is he’s going to Europe on vacation directly on the day of my birthday. I don’t know how to fix this any advice would be great because I’ve been trying to be the bigger person and forgive him but I feel like this is just ridiculous.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      Cassidy, I want you to concentrate on developing plans to lead a very different life to both your mother and your father when you’re an adult. Don’t be abused ... and don’t be abusive.

      It sounds to me like your father’s behaviour hasn’t changed over the years ... only you’ve changed.

      Here’s the thing to remember right now. You’ve survived living in the house with him until now. Your sisters survived and moved out. Your turn to move out is coming. So work hard at your schooling and set goals for the future.

      I see no point in challenging him, although I do think it makes sense to ask others close to him why they keep making excuses for him instead of actively trying to get him to change.

      Perhaps you can turn to your sisters for encouragement. It sounds like they shared the same kind of problems you’re having. At the very least, I trust they can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

      You’ll be free, one day. Then you can get out and become the best person you can be. So start dreaming! It will help carry you through.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      Ada, you are 17 and nearly an adult. Your father doesn’t define who you will become. Free from his control, you can set yourself goals and achieve them. You can create your own happy home and in the future you can leave him behind you.

      You’re not alone. Lots of kids (and adults) are embarrassed by their fathers. Don’t worry, you’ll find people judge you for you, not who your dad was as you make your way through adult life.

    • profile image

      Cassidy914 

      13 months ago

      My father is an alcoholic and becomes very rude and angry when drinking. Since I was a kid, I can remember him waking my sisters, my mom, and I up at night to yell and tell us how much he hates us. My sisters are both out of the house now and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He has zero respect for his family, constantly talks bad about my mom and I can't stand to hear it, and he acts like a crazy person. I hate my dad and everyone makes excuses for him when he's sober (he acts like nothing ever happened). Any ideas on how I can deal with this?

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      Hello @No one. You shouldn’t have to apologise for sharing your snacks with kids who don’t have any. I think that says you’re a nice person, and I’m proud of you! And your dad is a fool if he thinks you write small to annoy everyone. (My writing is also small. I remember wishing I wrote larger at school when we were told to ‘write one page’ on a subject.

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      Venting is a good thing .... it relieves some of the pressure. Take heart in the fact you’ll be an adult soon, and your father will no longer be able to treat you badly. You’ll be old enough to turn your back and walk away from him. So just do your best to cope, my friend. Life can get so much better!

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      @Name, I’m pleased to hear you are looking to the future. That’s the best thing to do. Yes, you will have the chance to leave and start afresh. Try hard to study and develop skills that will help you in your adult life. I’m sure you can achieve great things!

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      13 months ago from Australia

      I’m sorry, Ricardo. Hopefully you can watch and learn from those other happy families. When your turn comes to be a parent, I’m counting on you to be a good one!

    • profile image

      Name 

      13 months ago

      I hate my dad, he is the most jerk dad out of all he has physically abuse me, ALWAYS BEING CRITICAL instead of complementing me beside he never do, he must be thinking what kind thing i have to be proud with a child like you he always compared me to other family child saying that they were so what he think of his "role model child" he dont that he is the reason of making me stress what kind of thing of a bad dad that he hasn't do i really really really hate him i'm just waiting to be adult and get ready to moved up from this garbage family and house i ,its been thousand of year since i go out from this house beside to the school

    • profile image

      Ricardo Avery 

      13 months ago

      I feel like my dad doesn't love or care about me. I see other kids that are happy, and they spend time with their parents. To me, he was never a Dad to me

    • profile image

      .... 

      13 months ago

      I'm seventeen years old and since very young my dad has been abusing myself and my family both verbally and when I was much younger physically too. I grew up to fear him because he would always lash out at the smallest things and make it into such a big deal. That's why I have reasons that he is bi-polar, but I can't be too sure. Nonetheless, he's always enjoyed putting me down as a child. I grew up shy with absolutely no confidence or self-esteem, he made me feel weak and small and I grew up believing that I was never enough. The day I fully lost respect for him is when he put his hands on me for the smallest thing. He was angry at something else and so directed his anger on me. He stormed off and got his belt before returning a few seconds later. I sat there frozen and in shock as he repeatedly struck me Luckily my mother heard him and came out to stop him. That day he hit so that I had lines and lashes all over my body. He tried to apologize the next day claiming that he did it "for my own good". I've never seen him the same way since. My older brother suffered even more. He tore his confidence apart with so much verbal abuse as a child and even went as far as pinning him against a wall by the throat. When my brother told me about this, I was mortified and compeltley disgusted. How could a man who claims he loves us hurt us so much? My mother, of course, suffers the most. I wish that sometimes I could just end her pain. As I reached my teenage years I stopped fearing him and began to deeply resent him. Which has now turned to hate. I have absolutely no love or respect left for this man and sometimes my thoughts get so dark that I just wish he could die. Pray that he could die. So that we may be freed from this constant pain and suffering.

      sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent. I'll be fine.

    • profile image

      :"( 

      14 months ago

      my dad is the one who has the most income out of my parents. he is a seaman working abroad every six or more months. my problem with him, is that he has a short and explosive temper. my brother had troubles with his math work, namely adding fractions, and answered the whole worksheet wrong. my dad saw this and got angry quickly, loudly asking my brother how he got a wrong answer. my brother's lips quivered and he stayed silent. he was about to cry. my dad got annoyed at his silence and threatened to punch my brother, he flinched and shakily answered. he's only in the third grade. the worst part is, that also happened to me when i was his age. another thing, my family keeps on putting those things behind at all times. they never talk about it, my dad never apologizes and they just let it happen, they don't talk and face my dad's horrible behavior. what am i supposed do? i'm now scared of him, i hate him and i don't want to talk to him at all costs. if i express that, my parents will probably threaten to send me to an orphanage or guilt trip me for being a bratty child.

    • profile image

      :(( 

      14 months ago

      My father always gets uncontrollably mad over small things. He’s slapped me for yawning. He has made me feel guilty for hanging out with my friends. He has publicly embarrassed me for wanting to put soap in a gift bag, and no, I’m not exaggerating. I’ve told him he gets mad way too much, and I can go on.

      I get good grades and stuff but he ALWAYS finds a reason to make me feel bad. He says things to me like “other kids work harder than you, other kids are better than you, other kids deserve more than you”

      I can say a whole lot more.

      He wonders why I hate him! I don’t know what to do. Help?

    • profile image

      No one 

      14 months ago

      My dad is completely normal. He has a job, and he pays bills, and can get things a family needs and wants. He isn't like other people's dads, who are abusive or have secrets (?). My experiences are very childish compared to others. But sometimes he can be mean to me, and I hate it. I know that it's partially my fault, but in my point of view, I think it's his fault. He makes me cry, but I'm not sure if that's good enough, but he accuses me of motivations based on "expired evidence". He said that I gave some snacks because I don't like it, though I feel bad about eating it when others don't, and want to give it to them. Another example is that I write small, and it's just my way of writing. But my dad accused me of writing small on purpose to annoy everyone. I crumbled the paper from anger, and my dad came in and saw it. He got mad, and told me to get out of the house. When my mom told me to come back in and ask/beg for forgiveness, I had a cold, and was hyperventilating. So, that means if I show that I don't like what he's doing to me, he lashes out, yelling at me, sometimes hitting me, or kicking me out. So, that's why I don't "stand up for myself". I have to face him lecturing me about why I don't have manners, and how rude and disrespectful I am. Sometimes, he acts on mild favoritism. My brother has some faults, and my dad knows about them. Yet he gets less frustrated with my brother than with me. When my brother admitted to something, my dad looked at me and said I should be more like him. So one day, I did something, and my dad asked about it, and I admitted to it. My dad yelled at me.

      I don't like him, and I feel like he doesn't like me.

      P.S.

      I think he's rather hypocritical. He tells me to help fold the laundry, yet he doesn't do anything to help. He tells me to not leave a single mark, he leaves stuff. When I see stuff like this I just scream mentally and think of those cringy memes of people saying 'boi'.

    • profile image

      Couponbunny 

      14 months ago

      Get away from anyone who fills you with negative emotion and who themselves are unwilling to do their part in working on the relationship. If you are a kid, find someone you can trust; and tell them. If you are an adult, work on your part; and hold the other party up to their end...at a safe distance. Do not give hurtful persons access to you.

      My entire life, I pretended and alternatively swallowed what my insides and brains were screaming: I HATED MY FATHER! And get this, I am not Caucasian (kind of pisses me of, when I hear ignorant ass people say stupid crap like "that's some white folk foolishness". So AAs don't have a full range of emotions? No, that's what went down, when we weren't considered full fledged human beings. Yes, he passed away; and I hadn't seen him for years. And it felt so good not being there for an individual who was an utter failure as a parent. I was there for my most authentic, and honest self. And I made sure I gave him 0 honor; I had no children. The last thing I would want to give him was an opportunity to live on via me. With everything in me, even if it meant no me, I wish he had never existed. He was a monster; and to my siblings dismay, he gets no quarter from me. Whoever you may be out there, your life is yours and yours alone to live. And sperm or no sperm, no other person should get your love, and respect without giving the same to you. I am a Christian; blind honor is not what God teaches. Parents have a deep responsibility to their offspring. Wouldn't it be nice if producing another human life was about much more than responding to a physiological urge?

    • profile image

      Aaron 

      14 months ago

      My dad just can't just stop comparing me with other people. Whenever he sees me not studying and being on my phone, he always tells me, "I bet that your friends are going to be more successful than you because you are on your phone doing nothing". And I always get upset why he needs to say that. I mean I did what I was supposed to do. I was on it for like 15 minutes! And plus, he never reads, and he says that I don't read enough like my friends.

      I just hate him. I hate my family members that are on my dad side. I get compared with my cousin. my cousin is an SAT teacher, he went to Boston University, which is a pretty good University. My dad always talks about him, "You need to work hard like your cousin, you have to read, study more than the normal kids". I wish that I had a dad who always encourages me, not comparing me.

    • profile image

      Hoda 

      14 months ago

      My dad is somehow a successful person who hates to see me succeed.i feel like he is jealous and scared of my succuss.its like he sits and wait for me to lose,and then tell me "i told you so!"

      I hate him because as i wanted to gain a position or do something right i should done it all by myself,and he wouldnt be supportive of me.he is also a control freak who refuse to accept things can be done the way except his way.

      And when i need him,he would be all angry and critisize me all over again and again,which makes me regret why i even asked him to help.

      I hate my dad,i even hate my family name,you would'nt believe!

      I sometime even hate my mom when she defend him out of pitty.i think he deserve to die alone.i feel more angry everytime i see him around the house and i should think that i don't have father and his support,but he sits right there and could help me but he refuse to help to show me im nothing without him.

    • profile image

      Kat 

      15 months ago

      My dad is in a midlife crisis.

      I’m sure everyone over the age of thirteen has heard of one: a man starts thinking of how little time he has left in his life and how many dreams he’s failed to accomplish and goes out to buy himself a new flashy convertible.

      They never mention that he usually cheats.

      And that he can abuse his wife of twenty-four years for months as she tries to forgive him for the kids.

      And that, even after he’s cheated on his wife for five months and she finally gathers proof of the continuing affair before she kicks him out, the kids still want to love him anyway.

      He’s your dad, after all.

      You get in a hysterical screaming match with your mother about how “he’s your dad and you want to love both your parents” and endure a summer of suffering: not sure how to act around him but wanting to forgive him even after everything he’s done, and incurring the guilt-inducing collapse of your mother for “choosing HIM over me” the entire time.

      You have a talk with him, where he says he “never meant to hurt you” and “didn’t realize you were upset when he missed your concerts and games,” and you promise to talk more.

      Then he tells your littlest brother, the one you’ve been sheltering since the night it all went to hell, that his dirty cheating girlfriend isn’t his dirty cheating girlfriend, but a friend who’s having a rough time but “saves birds” and has “a heart of gold” after your brother overhears her call him “honey” on the phone.

      You give him one last chance. You invite him to your senior day, to be there as your parent. It’s on a Saturday. But he “has to do something for work,” and “was not informed with enough time to cancel.” You know nobody has work on a Saturday, and any real father would miss a day of work anyway to be there for his child, especially when he’s in danger of losing her.

      So you stop talking to him. At all. And when he asks you to “at least say hi,” you tell him you know where he was two weeks ago on your special day. You look him in the eyes and tell him you know he’s a liar and can’t believe anything he says as he scrambles to justify his actions.

      You think on this exchange, and you realize you don’t even recognize this man you used to call “dad.” He has the same height, same hair, same face, but his eyes...his eyes are the eyes of someone you’ve never seen a day in your life. You think some more, and you realize your real father’s been dead for months, years even, dying since your sixth grade band concert - the first concert he ever missed. This new man is not your father. He has your father’s body, and he shares half of your DNA, but you don’t know him. He is nothing to you.

      He invites you and your siblings to watch the Super Bowl at his house. You go, because you are together. You think that together, nothing can really go wrong. Then he tries to play-wrestle your littlest brother, the one you’ve tried to protect since the day it all went wrong. It’s something he used to do with you and your other brothers all the time, but this time, something is fundamentally off. You feel like you’re watching a rape. Your little brother says he wanted him to stop, but he thought that asking would make him angry, so he decided to lay still until it was over.

      You don’t speak to him for months. You see him cleaning up his house. You see he plans to go to a concert nearby on the weekend of your birthday. You know he goes to concerts with his girlfriend. You know, then, his house-tidying can only mean one thing. She is coming. On your birthday weekend. And, after all of this, he thinks you’ll still invite him to your birthday dinner.

      You begin to plan exactly how you’ll lose it on them when she comes. What else would you do?

    • profile image

      Abbi 

      15 months ago

      My dad said he wishes he had never had any children to me and my sister. This isn’t the first comment and I’m sure it won’t be the last. It’s just all building up and that resentment is growing. Just his voice makes me angry sometimes. We were sat having dinner and he randomly said he wished he’d never had children and started rambling on about all the things we do wrong. Why? What does he get out of upsetting me? Pride? Some sick thrill? I’m a very sensitive and emotional wreck and he tells me I need to grow up and get a life. I sometimes think that the only way to get him to see sense would be to kill myself.

    • profile image

      Star-Dustship 

      15 months ago

      My dad is a control freak, i like certain things...my dad judges me for it and it's horrible. He usually calls me names and tells us not to imitate my siblings but he always imitates us and when I call him a hypocrite he tells us to stop being so rude. Not to be dramatic but I actually think that HE thinks I am the literal spawn of satan, he does everything he can to stop me from going to school assemblies and wants me to go to a different school that isn't Catholic, he says he doesn't want other people affected by satans offspring...I have made fun of this many times before in my head that my dad must be satan if I am satans offspring but I made the mistake of saying this to him once and he got very mad at me. He won't let me go out with my friends or have birthday parties with them and I am convinced I have depression, he hugs me on PURPOSE even though I have a fear of being touched, and yes, I have told him many times before. I cut myself and I'm probably a masochist, the sort that likes the feeling of pain, not anything to do with...'human reproduction' (it just feels awkward to say the actual word..sorry) and my psychologist gave my parents advice to congratulate me or buy me something I like when I don't cut myself, no I didn't tell them, they found out because they have no idea what privacy is and they unlock the door from the outside to 'check' on me, I think it's awkward and weird...I also have a fear of mirrors and because of this he likes to buy mirrors and put them in any available place, I also have a fear of white witch was a problem considering my room and the rest of the walls and ceiling is painted white expect for my brother and my parents room, and the movie room, witch is painted in a metallic-ish mauve grey-brown I don't mind the colour so I often stay in that room. This is a problem because I draw all over my school papers just to avoid my fear and my teacher gets me in trouble, assistant teacher hates me aswell and i told the school and I don't have her as a helper teacher anymore, I've had two mental breakdowns already....I'm only 12 and my birthday is in May so I'll be 13 soon, I'm somehow in grade eight and oops I got very off topic around somewhere! I have three different moods; sad and depressed. Angry, conceiving, tricky, toxic, hurtful (this is most of the time). And overly happy, just WAYY too optimistic and positive. I'm never around my dad when I'm overly positive, I'm usually in my second mood and I like fire and warmth and often set things alight and seem to be happy when people are mad, so my dad assumes I feed off their depression like some sort of demon...okay I honestly don't know why I'm happy around depressing things and depressed around happy things it's a real problem, I probably said this already but I can't remember, oh well! Okay and my friend flicked holy water on me once and a burn with burn marks around it showed up a few days Later the same place as the water, it was strange and painful but as a masochist I didn't mind the pain of course. Anything I can do? I read the comments already, may have laughed at the depressing side of comments and then tried to feel bad for it and ended up overly happy, oh- I'm probably bipolar then... Uhm, okay thennn! this is gonna be ignored! Because I am always ignored! Oh gosh I took so long to write this. Too many pun opportunities wasted.... How disappointing-

    • profile image

      Jason Zhang111 

      15 months ago

      My dad expects too much out of me. I'm just in elementary school and he expects me to do work 3 grades higher than my grades work. He would expect me to get A or he'll make me feel guilty. I was born a sensitive child and my dad still doesn't understand that. My dad would slap me, yell at me when I do a mistake especially when I cry. every time he would apologize to me and say it won't ever happen again. But every single time he would either forget or just ignore what he said earlier and just continue doing that. My mom and my grandparents understand how I feel and defend me and talk with my dad about but he won't listen. I usually hide what's inside me when I see my dad and be happy towards him but in the inside, I feel like I'm going to explode. I understand my dad is trying to be a good dad but he is failing hard. what should I do?

    • profile image

      Real Stranger 

      15 months ago

      My dad just wants everything to be his way he doesn't want us to hang out or if we someone from opposite sex call even for for homework he starts doubting and if my rank even goes to 2nd from 1st he gets too angry. What should I do? I cannot talk with him because he is too strict

    • profile image

      Hadley 

      15 months ago

      My problem is different, I think:

      1.) My dad has stated several times that he “has failed as a father”. So I’m a failure?? I’m a straight A student, I’ve never gotten in trouble at school, I try to be kind all the time... but none of that matters to me. If he thinks i’m a failure, I must be. I don’t want to be a failure.

      2.) There was this one time that I told him I loved him, and he just stared at me and didn’t say anything.

      3.) He has NO patience. None. He gets mad so quickly, and when he gets mad, he throws things and cusses me out and screams at me and threatens to throw away my personal belongings. He has no empathy. He doesn’t ever look at my side of arguments or think about how I’m feeling, but I promise that I think about his feelings all the time. I know that if I tell him that I don’t want to live with him anymore than he’ll cry, and I hate to see him cry.

      Look, I know that some kids have it terrible, and I know that I have it great compared to other kids, and I don’t mean to complain. I just need someone to talk to about it. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t like him to touch me really anymore because he has spanked me to the point of red marks on my back for days, which I know isn’t very terrible at all and that I should be lucky that he hasn’t done worse, but, I don’t know, every time he touches me, I just get reminded of that.

      4.) For years, I felt bad about myself because of him. For years, I told myself I was terrible, that I was the worst child in the world. I burnt myself with a hair-dryer when I was nine years old because I felt like I didn’t deserve that pretty, flawless skin because I was such a flawed, ugly-moraled person. I clawed my nails into my skin and left scars another time because I was so angry about myself. I never hated myself enough to hurt myself extremely, but I always thought I never deserved anyone and anything in life. I was convinced that I wouldn’t amount to anything, that I was unlovable to anyone but my mother. And, every time we get into fights, I instantly feel bad because he tells me about how much he’s hurt my feelings, and he explains to me that he doesn’t know how to control me.

      5.) That’s another thing. I hate being at his house because of who I am there. I’m constantly quiet there, and I never really know what to say to him. A lot of times, I don’t want to be there, so I’m sad, and he can tell. So when he gets mad, I get mad. And I don’t get mad like that anywhere else. I never, ever want to be mad like that again. I’m like a different person there.

      6.) He brought my stepmother into my life. They’ve been married for almost two years now, and I still can’t get used to her. She critisizes everything I do, and she tries to one-up me all the time, which is extremely annoying because i’m the child, so I’d love it if she’d act like an adult sometimes. And, also, she acts like she knows my mother all the time, and criticizes my mother when she doesn’t even know her. And my mom is my role model, and I don’t think that anything about my mother is bad.

      7.) My dad is so immature. During a fight when I was nine, he made me dinner, then threw my dinner on the ground, and then refused to make me more dinner. He refuses to be friends with my mom on social media, even though they have a daughter together and have been broken up for 11 years now. As well as that, all of my dad’s family follows my mom on social media, so they obviously don’t have a problem with her.

      I hate him, and I hate my stepmother, and I really hate to hate people. And I don’t want to hate them, but I do anyways.

      Well... that took a while. If anyone has advice, I’d love to hear it. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. Thank you so much!!

    • profile image

      NeedingHelp 

      15 months ago

      I need major advice. My dad is always critisizing me and being condescending and always gets impatient with me when I try to explain my views on things. I cant express how i feel to him because he gets angry and hits me. If I ask him if i can go out with my friends (since I havent done so in 1 and a half years) then he says no, and I explain to him that I really miss my friends and I ask him the reason why he wont let me. He calls me ungrateful and spiteful and gets angry for the rest of the day. Help?

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      16 months ago from Australia

      Tonight I responded to a bunch of comments, yet there's still more waiting. If I've not yet answered your question, I hope to get to it in a day or two. :)

    • LongTimeMother profile imageAUTHOR

      LongTimeMother 

      16 months ago from Australia

      Hi Nick. You have angry outbursts. You explained that things your dad says sometimes 'freak you out' and you start yelling at him.

      Have you noticed that it sounds like your dad has the same kind of problem that you do? He seems to have that same kind of anger issue ... because when you say things (like asking him to leave you alone), he flies off the handle and starts threatening you.

      Wow. It must be very difficult to have a rational conversation if you both have anger problems. Can you see similarities in the way you both behave?

      Here's a link for you, Nick. It is an article I wrote years ago. https://hubpages.com/health/Why-Is-My-Child-So-Ang...

      I suggest you read my article, and then discuss it with your family. If you can't get the testing done, perhaps you can make some notes for yourself and see if it is relevant to you. You're 15 and old enough to think it through for yourself. Hope it helps.

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