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Jealous Family Members: A Family Relationship Problem

Updated on June 09, 2016

Joined: 7 years agoFollowers: 7Articles: 6

Jealous family members do exist, and they can cause a problem within the family overall. They are not an urban legend or a strange delusion. Family and all of our interactions with them are supposed to be a blessing. But if you have a jealous family, you feel absolutely cursed.

There’s a saying that goes, “Blood is thicker than water." In my opinion, blood is more jealous, too. It’s so sad to know that jealousy might motivate your aunts, cousins, or even your siblings to hurt you. And when it comes from family members, the hurt is deeper than if a stranger had done it to you.

Strangely, I’ve had horrible luck in dealing with jealous relatives in my life. It could be worse, but it’s still a shame that jealousy occurs in the family. I suppose that we can say it’s just human nature, but it’s so unnecessary.

How to Deal With Jealous Family Members

Keep Your Mouth Shut

While you cannot remove yourself from the family tree, you can easily manage any jealous family members that you have. The most important step is to keep them out of your personal business. They do not need to know that you are purchasing a new home, awaiting a promotion, or even dating a new partner.

You do not want your goals or current events to be the main discussion at their dinner table. They will simply devour it and speak negatively about your life. Do not fuel the fire for their gossip and their negative talk.

Stop Feeling Guilty

Do not feel guilty that you are pulling away by not sharing your life story with them. Sometimes, you just have to love people from far away. It’s easy to feel that you are being the bad guy when you are simply trying to protect yourself.

Manage Family Gatherings

If they invite you to family functions, you can still attend. You just have to be mindful about what you share with them. There is nothing wrong with enjoying their company.

However, in most cases, you will find that certain relatives who harbor jealousy will usually not invite you to their events. You should not despair, and do not force your way into their world either. It is probably best that you limit your in-person interactions with them.

Avoid Confrontation

Some say that a person should call a family meeting to discuss the jealousy issue, but a lot of times it only makes the drama last longer. Stay away from all-out confrontations or Dr. Phil-style interventions.

The most important thing is to remain a loving, caring individual and not allow the antics of jealous family members to make you bitter. This may sound weird, but become the peace that you seek from your family.

It Is Not Your Problem

Sometimes, these same jealous relatives may feel conflicted on the inside. They may actually be proud of you but are simply jealous that they were not able to achieve what you've been able to.

While that is sad, it is not your problem. You shouldn’t have to be overly humble and be ashamed of your milestones so you don’t offend your family members.

In time, you will either find that your absence has made their heart grow fonder for you or that nothing has changed. Search your heart to forgive them so that you're not consumed by bitterness.

Forgive them so you can ultimately release their hold over you and your emotions. You can only control your own actions. This is the only way to find peace.


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    • Nora411 profile image

      Nora411 4 years ago from Chicago, IL

      So much jealousy usually comes from family members, I absolutely agree with you. It really is sad that when you grow up with these people, and you really wish the best for them, they can't do that for you as well. I miss so many old relationships I used to have with certain people that have now become "aquaintainces". Nice hub.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 4 years ago from Texas

      You said it best, Nora! As family, why can't we simply uplift each other and be happy for another? (Shrugs) I miss certain relatives, but it's best that they remain acquaintances.

      Awesome comment, and thanks for checking out my hub! :)

    • MamaBambie profile image

      MamaBambie 4 years ago from Dallas

      very useful and interesting. Voted "up" and "interesting"

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 4 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, MamaBambie. I appreciate your comment! :)

    • prospectboy profile image

      Bradrick H. 4 years ago from Texas

      This is an absolutely great hub. You are so right on this topic. I wrote a blog posting a couple of years back about this same exact issue. Family can definitely be our worst enemies at times. I limit my interactions around some of them, because I know that they don't mean me well. Like you said in your article, it's okay to love them from a distance. Excellent excellent article and advice mzindependent. I'm definitely sharing this one on Facebook, Twitter, and my followers on Hubpages. You definitely should write more often. Great job!

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 4 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, prospectboy! I knew I wasn't the only one experiencing this "jealousy" phenomenon. I definitely appreciate your comment and your sharing of my hub! With that being said, I'll follow your suggestion and start carving out a bit more time to write some hubs. :)

    • prospectboy profile image

      Bradrick H. 4 years ago from Texas

      You're very welcome. Looking forward to reading more from you :)

    • Sharon 4 years ago

      Wish I had read this article before our family had our little "family intervention". The article was right, it only makes things worse to do a sit down and to try to talk it out. Everyone feels victimized, negativity rises, old wounds come up. Just keep your distance and put them in a wider circle. And definitely DO NOT tell them good things going on in your life. Just like the article says, they can be proud of you and still jealous at the same time.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 4 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for commenting, Sharon! I learned my lesson the hard way with certain family members. With the holidays fast approaching, I'm sure jealousy will be raising it's head in a few more families. Eek! Good luck with your fam, too! :)

    • SHS 4 years ago

      can i just be honest here, i read through your article and i am really amazed by the level of maturity you are exhibiting here ( i meant this as a total compliment).

      i think you are right, that techinically speaking, one should not sink to their level and that in itself will bring about peace....

      but sometimes it is probably easier said than done , esp if you have to deal with this kind of behavior on an ongoing basis, esp if the person you are dealing with is simply doing it because they are mean spirited, and no part of them is conflicted in a sense that part of them is actually wishing you well.

      i once came across this comment online from this woman, saying she is going to smack her sister the next time her sister made some put down remark,while i can not say i condone this way of handling the situation, i can relate to it somewhat, because ultimately, i think some people just push their luck too far, and you just think to yourself, enough is enough!

      and yes, as terrible as it sounds, it would feel damn satisfying too....

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 4 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for the honest compliment, SHS. I so feel you on the satisfaction of laying the smack down on someone, lol. It honestly took a lot of trial and error to finally decide to take the high road.

      Like you mentioned earlier, some folks are just mean spirited and enjoy hating others. They like it - I love it, and they can definitely stay away, lol. It's just an easier way to escape the bat that they love to beat you with...figuratively speaking.

      The high road is not an easy road to take, but it's worth the peace you gain in the long run. :) Once again, thanks so much for your insightful comment!

    • Livingtwentyfirst profile image

      Betty Tobiko 3 years ago from Mombasa.

      This one is so on point you just talking about it when i was quietly imagining,i was tossed into a family of horrible people.The people who can hurt us most are our relatives and close friends

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      I feel your pain, livingtwenty. Just keep your distance and focus on your goals. They'll eventually get over themselves or more than likely remain the same. We just have to learn not to make it our problem. Really tough. Wising you the best!

    • ClassicBeautee 3 years ago

      Great post and advice. I'm going through this now with my cousin and it sucks bc we come from a small family in a small town.. It would be nice to have my fam to hang out w when it's gets boring ya know? lol.. but my family in general is not close.. Jealousy exists btwn my mom and her sisters (our parents) so it's not surprising that it just trickled down.. Still hurts though, but it's nice to know that someone else out there deals w this too. I will definitely take your advice.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      It's pretty harsh when you have a small family in a small town, ClassicBeautee. However, I'm glad the hub helped you a bit and hope things improve for you!

    • EmpatheticAdvisor profile image

      Ruth Laughery 3 years ago from Montana

      You have a lot of good information on how to deal with jealous family members and people in general. However, if I might add, staying away from those who wish you ill is much better.

      In my experience, if it looks likes a snake , acts like a snake, and hisses like a snake, it's a snake. Much better to just walk away and not have anything to do with them, lest you give them another chance to "bite" you.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Well said, EmpatheticAdvisor! When people show you who they REALLY are, please believe them. Thanks for commenting, too!

    • WhitneyAustin 3 years ago

      I like what you wrote. But I've kept my mouth shut for so long. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. My mom has 2 brothers and my mom has a mother who I falling apart, medically, and my uncles think that she can still do everything for them and my mom has to take care of my grandma without the help of her brothers. It frusterates me. I want to say so much to them, but I can't. Two of my sisters are so disrespectful and so unappriciative. They are al adopted but me, but two of my sisters are so disrespectful and my parents took them in and saved them from abuse.

      One of my sisters is a mom and I took care of her daughter for a whole summer and I had to buy her stuff because her own mother wouldn't do it. This same one I texted her and a lot of other people on my contact list saying to have a good day and I added a scripture on there and she called it me forcing "my stuff" on her. I was so hurt. I've kept my mouth shut for 21 years and I"m getting tired. LOL! What would you do?

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Wow, WhitneyAustin! 21 years? I can see why you're overwhelmed over there. However, It's clear that you love your family and only want the best for them despite their shortcomings. One of the greatest revelations I received is that "everybody is not you".

      By that I mean, some people just don't care about how or why they hurt other people. They aren't interested in showing appreciation for any large or small favors casted their way. No point in worrying yourself over why they won't do the right thing or confronting them because there will never be a good answer. Some people act from past hurts or traumas, but that's something they need to CHOOSE to work through on their time - not yours.

      While I keep my mouth shut, I do not get involved or interested in their affairs at all. The only thing that we can control is the amount of access we give people into our lives and vice versa. Taking a break from people and their nonsense offers a boatload of clarity for the most important person being drained in this vicious cycle - YOU.

      Wishing you the best!! Stay respectful and loving them from a distance. (Hugs)

    • WhitneyAustin 3 years ago

      Thank you so much! for the advice! The other thing is that some of my sisters and family members treat me like I'm dumb because I keep my mouth shut, it pretty much sucks either way! LOL! Thank you for the advice! I could really use a vaction sowhere! I really enjoyed reading your hub! You're welcome to read some of mine!

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      I'm glad to know it helped a bit, Whitney. Vacations are some of the best treats we can give ourselves - even if it's a stay-cation at home lol I am most definitely checking out your hubs. Enjoying one right now!

    • WhitneyAustin 3 years ago

      Yes! Aw, thank you so much!

    • miank 3 years ago

      Yeah, great article. I feel so divorced from my family the older and more accomplished and ambitious I become. As sad as it is, I can't deny that I feel sometimes some of them pull me back instead of push me forward.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for commenting, miank. I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing this as well. The most important thing is that you've recognized how their behavior holds you back. Hopefully, one day they will see the error of their ways. Keep flowing in your ambition and accomplishing the great things you have planned in the meantime!

    • JPA 3 years ago

      Am I the only one who think cutting people out of your life is okay?

      I'm not saying you should cut off everyone who is jealous of you ... but I do believe there should be a spectrum of methods for dealing with jealousy that incorporates the difference between minor infractions and major infractions. This article is only useful for minor infractions. Jealousy in extreme amounts can actually motivate people to do extremely hurtful things or to form patterns of emotional abuse.

      If the issue's a small one, sure, put them into your wider circle and don't tell them when you become a millionaire. If the issue's a big one, I say confront the issue privately (not in a family meeting) and if the person is not willing to work towards a resolution, cut 'em off. As in a marriage or a relationship of any kind, no one is worth the effort if you are the only one trying.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for commenting and I do agree with you, JPA. I've learned that we teach people how to treat us. When we allow the minor infractions caused by jealous behavior to slide, then everything is downhill from there. That alone motivated me to write this article. Once they see you let small things slide, they'll push their luck with bigger issues. Most people know how to handle jealous acquaintances, but guilt stops them from really cutting off family when they are acting out in a jealous manner. Majority of people with bad attitudes/behavior seem to be quite aware that their antics are shoddy and really don't care to change even if confronted. So, you might as well just fade to black and let them live their lives elsewhere without your presence. Once again, thanks for your input!

    • lesliebyars profile image

      lesliebyars 3 years ago from Alabama

      This hub rings so true thanks for sharing it. Voted up and pinned.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks so much, Leslie! I appreciate you reading and sharing!!

    • vasha33 3 years ago

      This is a great article. I been using all the advice given. It still hurts a lot though. I was working so hard, I never seen it coming. And when others would bring it to my attention, I refused to believe it. I had my daughter at 13. So that was my concern from then on. Little did I know that everyone thought my life was over, except me. Lol! It wasn't until my daughter and I both

      became successful,

      that I was made a believer. The family members that I loved the most don't love me the most. This includes my mom, sister and 2 of my closest cousins. I'll just keep on keeping on! Great article!

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Wow, Vasha - thanks so much for sharing your story! I'm glad to hear that you put your daughter first and gained so much in the long run. You have the right attitude already, and I know you'll be just fine. It just stings 10 times more because it's your mom and sis. They're truly missing out. However, as you said, keep on keepin' on!

    • Omska Kaiser profile image

      Omska Kaiser 3 years ago

      A very good article, I must congratulate the writer for his indept analysis

      of jealousy....

      Jealousy destroys good deeds, the way fire destroys wood...AbuDawood

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks so much, Omska! I love how you likened jealousy to fire's destructive nature. Couldn't have said it any better. Appreciate you stopping by!

    • Danielle Days 3 years ago

      Thanks so much for this, it is so close to home for siblings are upset with me and we had the same options coming up (some parents, same upbringing). It is sad...I feel like a victim. This article helped me. Each time I get a different vehicle (not new ...different!) The minute they see it...they are rolling their eyes...not one comment on the car, not that they have to, but its noticeable that they are jealous of every blessing that I receive, they only call when they want something...never to see how I'm doing. I just needed a place to vent, thanks again :)

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Thank you so much for your comment, Danielle. You are really good at reading between the lines and caught how they really felt about your purchase. It's sad that their attitude alone will keep them stuck at the same level as you continue to climb upwards. As they say, favor isn't fair. Enjoy your blessings, sweetie!! :)

    • Agreewithyourarticle 3 years ago

      Thank you for this article, I'm going through this with my mom's side of the family. They have always treated me and my brother like outsiders and I got into a confrontation with my cousin years ago and she accused me of being jealous of her (which is not true) when every time I see her, she starts talking negatively about me, it's unnecessary and the rest of my cousins and aunts follow behind her in their little clique. I feel that my aunts are jealous of my mom because of the way they treat her and her children and it's unnecessary.

      My brother has not seen them in over 15 yrs and I'm going to get smart like my brother and cut them out of my life as well. I feel that I'm better off and they intentional try to hurt me. My mom and her sisters grew up in a small town and it's dumb of them to act that way. I came to the conclusion that they don't mean me or my immediate family well at all. So, I will continue to keep my distance.

    • vasha33 3 years ago

      Hey Agree, being distant is tough. I know because that's what I did. You'll miss them. However, missing them won't change them. The hard part for me was missing the young kids and the babies of the family. Be sure your ready to walk away. Good Luck!

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 3 years ago from Texas

      Sorry to hear that you're also enduring this drama, Agree. It sounds like it you made the right decision to maintain your distance. You don't need to hang around and be their punching bag. You're worth far more than that. It's disappointing to know that people simply do not know how to love their own flesh and blood. Yet, they will treat a stranger like a king. Either way, I wish you the best in this case. You'll be stronger and have a bit more peace in the end. Thanks for sharing!

      @Vasha33 You're so right on the point about missing the younger family members. They were truly innocent and didn't participate in the rude behavior of their parents. However, it's just too toxic to deal with the drama that comes with hanging around. Like you said, missing them won't change them. Thanks for commenting!

    • lisa 2 years ago

      You should really right this on a normal web page one that has your name on it. I wanted to use this information in a reflection paper but can't because your name is nth posted for references and the web site isn't "Professional enough" but I really like whAt u had to say

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 2 years ago from Texas

      Hi Lisa! I wish my article could have been a source on your paper. :( However, I definitely appreciate your feedback and suggestion. Hmm.. I may consider it. Wishing you the best and hope your paper turned out great!

    • Questgiver 2 years ago

      Reading this post and the comments collectively bring me peace of mind that I've been looking for for so long. I come from a priveledged upbringing and there is jealousy in SO MANY of my family members it's like I don't even have a family at all. Except for my grandmother who is surprisingly very happy with me. I think one of the main things is that for black people and the things that we've endured as a group in this country it's hard for us to accept our past and respect progress when it exists.

      My parents made it from the bottom to a very respectable living and have been hated on since the early 80s but now my own parents are jealous of me and my blessings. Not to mention everyone else. Sometimes I just feel like "Wow, not you too...". It hurts cause I care so much for them and this is what they give me. Pulling away from them is def the hardest thing I will have to do but I have to do it to keep my sanity.

    • vasha33 2 years ago

      @Questgiver. I know what you mean when you say "not you too"! My list keeps getting longer! I'm realizing that hate is just hate. My daughter gets like that sometimes. How can you be jealous of the person who would give you anything you ask for? I haven't spoken to my sister for 2 yrs, now. 2 of my cousins for 1 yr. My mom for about 8 months. As u can see its not getting any better. They only thing I can say about this situation is that you are not alone. Best of luck!

    • Questgiver 2 years ago

      @vasha33 Thank you so much for actually understanding; which most people cannot seem to do, or they think I'm delusional. But I'm not at all. Someday when I have a son I know I he'll be the best because there's nothing in the world that would ever bring me to hate on him the way my whole family did me. Most people don't understand how economics and self hate in the black community in general contribute to issues like this. Again thanks for sharing and encouraging.

    • Topsy-Turvy 2 years ago

      I have read that jealousy is really about 3 things: Projection (someone projecting their inferior feelings on you; Protection (trying to protect a perceived threat); or Competition. We really are living in a time of massive competition. Notice whenever a trend comes out of Hollywood (white teeth; big boobs; plastic surgery; fake hair; toy dogs as asscessories; etc.) people clamour to emmulate these things. I have also heard it said that MOST people do not want to see another have any more talent; success; beauty; money; adoration; popularity than they have. Sadly, this truth is also common in families. Whenever I deem someone "un-safe", I keep my distance! Good Advice in this post!

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 2 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for the wonderful comments @Questgiver, @Vasha33, & @Topsy-Turvy. (See Below)


      I'm so glad that you were to get some piece from the content/comments on this topic. I must stand in agreement on the lack of respect for progress in our community. Sadly, I have witnessed the competitive spirit that some parents have that allows jealousy to creep in and dissolve their relationships with their kids. Everything is available for ANYONE to attain. It's so simple.. they need to be happy for their kids and feel blessed that their equipped them to these great things. When you succeed, it means they succeeded, right? That's at least the way I like to look at it. Just slowly back away and see if a little distance helps before you go completely cold turkey. Just take it one day at a time. Wishing you the best and praying for reconciliation in your family.


      Smdh .. I'm finding my list keeps getting longer as well but it's nowhere hard as it was when I first distanced myself. As always, thank you for your insightful comments and for sharing your experiences.


      I love what you added to the discussion regarding the 3 things about jealousy. I've witnessed projection and competition as being the major culprits with family members. Since a lot of people are so consumed with emulation, it makes sense that it would set them off to see someone genuinely succeeding and being an authentic person. You made an excellent point on that. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

    • sheena 2 years ago

      I have the same experiences, sometimes its jealousy and other times you have relatives that just don't like you for some reason. I cut people off that are jealous, or don't treat me right. It is better to not include them into your world, especially if they are always talking negative about you

    • vasha33 2 years ago

      I had a birthday party and invited everyone except my ugly a## sister. I invited her crew (my cousins) because I knew they would report back to her. It's so disgusting to have to deal with all the hoopla. I will say this...Jesus said "if they hate me, THEY WILL HATE YOU". P.S. I know they also told her about my new Camaro. #reportthat

    • urstrulee profile image

      urstrulee 2 years ago from Midwest USA

      And the church said...Amen!

    • vasha33 2 years ago

      Hey? Has anyone experienced ur family showing love to strangers, but treat you like a stinky baby that no one wants to change? I really need this explained to me. Some of my family members do this ALL the time. When I was talking to my sister, she needed to borrow my extra car. Of course I let her use it. However, she kept it a few days more than we agreed only to drive her prefabricated sister in law around??? Wtf! And this is just a lil thing. So the girl went to jail and when she got out my sister threw her a party?? But when my birthday comes she doesn't even tell me Happy Birthday? Sometimes I just want to send her a text and say "B!Tch" lol just too pizz her off! Sorry guys it gets real in the field!

    • sekapa 2 years ago

      I think the issue of cutting-off and also distancing yourself from them comes with a relief in your life but sometimes you guilty.

    • Agreewithyourarticle 2 years ago

      Hey Vasha33,

      I know exactly what you are talking about. My mom's side of the family hates my guts and I hate their guts also. I never did anything to these people. These people are supposed to be christian, but yet they are the most hypocritical, racist, judgmental and gossiping folks that I have ever came across and I don't ever want to see them again. I don't want they around me or my son because they don't mean me or my son well at all. They use to try to talk to my parents to try and get in my business. They would question my mom and dad about what kind of car I drove, where I lived and what I was doing in life. The reasons behind asked those questions was to have something to talk about and to try and compare their lives with mine. They would always accuse me of being jealous of them, when the truth is, I wouldn't change my life for theirs, even if I was paid to and every time when I would decide to be around them, they start with their talking behind my back about every little thing about me and my son. Ever since I decided that not to have anything to do with them, I been just fine. They accept my cousin's wife into the family and I don't like her because she joined to crew of talking about me behind my back when she don't even know me. She looks her nose down at everybody but they are too dumb to see it. They are so blinded by their hatred for me and my son, they can't see when someone is not geninue. She accuses me of always staring at her when the truth is, I always catch her staring at me and she is nothing to look at. I call it the looking her nose down at me stare, she is looking at my clothes and how I have my hair styled. I definitely don't want nothing to do with this family, It's pathetic how these people act but yet I'm suppose to be the jealous one, when I don't simply like or deal with you. I can't be around fake people.

    • Star 2 years ago

      I'm here to tell you firsthand of marriage destroyed by a jealous sister-in-law. From the moment my former husband and I started dating, she would be on his case telling him not to be a gentleman to pick me up, saying i should drive to his place (mind you, I had just gotten a car at that time so I was not family with highways and roads). Once we got married, she nitpicked at everything I did and say, it was like she was his mother. What made things worse was that my former husband listened to her bs. She would roll her eyes when I gave her family gifts. She would tell him that porn and gambling are healthy when I complained about his addictions. She would tell him to stay home when I said to go on vacation to help with his addictions. One time, she accused me of standing in front of her house with a club when we lived like 2 hours away from her. He believed her. She secretly wanted our marriage to get destroyed and it came true. Of course, the fact that my husband believed her bc blood is thicker shows he's not a husband material for me. So I count this as a blessing. I was able to get an annulment bc of his hidden addictions.

    • Lupe 2 years ago

      It is so sad for family members to be so envious of us doing well in like but we worked very hard to have a better life made good choices and God has Blessed so much we never wish bad on anyone and pray for them who are so unhappy for they will never get ahead

    • vasha33 2 years ago

      Battling a lot right now. My daughter just got married. I think I would be happier if she would have waited, like I asked. But hey, who cares about how I feel these days. And the fact that we're only 14 years apart is a part of why I wanted her to

      wait. I worked hard for her to have a life that was not related to the statistics that

      we were supposed to be tied too. And

      maybe she is living that way. However, it

      doesn't change the way I feel. Just saying. Somehow, it hurts me and deep inside, I don't feel that I've gained a son in law, only that I've lost my daughter. I was

      young and always working hard. So I

      didn't get to honey baby her 24/7. Maybe

      that's why im hurt. Not sure....or maybe

      now im on the jealous side.

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 2 years ago from Texas

      @Vasha33 I hope things have been improving for you since the recent developments. But, trust and believe that you raised a phenomenal woman even if her marital plans were executed long before you hoped. I guess the better question to ask is: do you believe the man that she married is worth her time? Honestly, I love how self-aware you are because a truly selfish, jealous person would never admit to have these feelings. They'd just become passive aggressive. You are a loving, selfless individual who is in the process of grieving the separation from your daughter as she unites into one union with another. It's truly okay... Trust the process and all will definitely work out :)

    • Vasha33 2 years ago

      @mzindependent thank for saying those nice things about me. It was really sweet. I don't have a problem with him. I was just saying that I didn't feel as if I gained anything. They're both in the military. So they should be well off. They were only dating a yr. But they got along and she never said anything bad about him. I was just adjusting to her being gone for almost 2yrs. Then she gets married. So its like double empty nest. I guess. I really wanted her to put her career and goals 1st. But she didn't feel the same way.

    • Christy777 2 years ago

      My Mom as a child needed a lot of attention. One time while her and her four siblings were walking home from school she fell. Her siblings kept walking. Because they didn't pay attention to her she pretended she was blind for nearly a month until my Grandma took her to a Doctor who told her that she was just trying to get attention. She had me when she was 18. While she was in labor the person who gave her an epidural made a mistake that caused her to start having seizures. We were both in the hospital for a long time. When she brought me home she expected to get a lot of attention. Both from having had seizures and also from having had me, but I was the one who got the attention. I was the first baby in the family and in the neighborhood. So I guess you can say her jealousy of me started nearly at birth. After she had my sister a year and a half later she would use her to hurt my feelings. She would hold her and not me. Telling me that everyone held me but no one held my sister. My Aunt and Grandma tried to tell her it wasn't true but it didn't matter. From there many horrible things progressed to the point of physical child abuse. When someone found out that she was hurting me I was promised that I would never have to live with her again, but she tricked her brother into not calling the police on her so I grew up in her household. I remember times where she quit buying my sister and I school clothes, once when she purposely gave me a bad hair cut when I was 15, and her giving my middle sister and I away twice. After the Step-Dad who raised us died she remarried and told her new husband and his family horrible lies about me. Both of my sisters were not allowed to be around me. Every time I would go over they were sent to their room and my Mom would go to her room so I would be sitting in the living room alone. Then one day as I sat there alone I looked up and saw a family picture taken without me. After that I moved away. I thank God everyday that He gave me a loving Grandma and that He watched over me that whole time. When my Mom's new husband passed away my sisters would have nothing to do with her. She had no money, no food, and was stuck in a small town away from everything. I brought her to live with me. She lived with me for five years before she moved away. She is nicer to me now but she still tells lies about me to others. I made the decision when I was little that I would never be like her. My sisters would have let her starve but I love God and I know He wanted me to help her. So I did and I would again. Sometimes the hurt resurfaces and I pray about it. Mostly I feel sorry that she feels so badly about herself that she had to feel jealous of her own child. I have other family members who are jealous of me as well. They exhibit the same sickness my Mother has in their own lives. I keep them away from me because I don't want that drama in my life and I don't deserve it. To quote what my Grandma told me as a child, "You don't have to like your family but you do have to love them.". Loving your family doesn't mean that they are allowed to treat you badly. If you have a family member who is jealous of you keep them at arms distance and say some prayers for them. They must feel really horrible about themselves if they have to work so hard to try to make you miserable. Thank God that you don't.

    • Kingstreet 2 years ago

      I thought my husband I were the only ones who have had to endure this. For us it started after we built a new house 20 years ago. The home was built for entertaining and hosting relatives when they visited. My youngest sister has said some very hurtful things to me and my daughter. She is evil. The last time I spoke with her she said, " I am about to tell you something that I know l hurt you. That you l not speak to me every again in life." I have a cousin who visited us and we threw her a surprised birthday party. When we went to visit her for Christmas she was so vicious I could not believe this was a person I grew up with. As for my husband, he had the same problem with two of his brothers and their wives as well as his sister! The irony of this is that we introduced his brother to the woman he later married. This brother refused to set foot in our home. Needless to say my husband was hurt. Later that brother became ill and his wife moved her ex-husband into the spare bedroom. She then put him in a nursing home and refused to pay the bill. The state forced her to take him back home. She did not want to because her ex was living with her. It was at that time he wanted to re-establish a relationship with my husband. He was bedridden. My husband would not go to see him due to his wife and her living arrangement. My brother in law has passed away and the wife of my other brother in law has also passed away. Now whenever my husband sister calls, she is forever asking by I never call her. I tell her that our relationship is fine just as it is. I cut these folks off years ago! It took my husband a hike longer to finally see who they truly are. I prayed to God to remove my husband's blinders and he did!!

    • Robin 2 years ago

      Wow, you're right on how we SHOULD behave toward family members who are jealous or does us wrong. My whole life, my cousin who is a year older than me (I'm 44 now), has been jealous of me and done everything in her power to make me look bad. I always felt like a sucker because I always IMMEDIATELY forgave her and would then AGAIN open up to her on things that she would use against me. This was repetitive until I turned 18 and said, "no more". Anyway, I moved and we didn't speak for 12 years, THEN out of nowhere, she called me, we began talking again, I forgot ALL ABOUT how she use to do me, and then when our Grand-dad died, as we were all heading for the funeral in another state, I MESSED UP and told her that her and her mom should move to the same city we live in. I KNEW I messed up when at my Granddaddy's funeral, the man doing the service mentioned MY NAME FIRST, then all the other grand kids - and she immediately got mad AT ME! I didn't tell that man to mention me first! I had no control over that. HOWEVER, she DID end up moving to the same city as I live in, and since then my life has gone DOWNHILL FAST. FIRST, she turned my mother against me by telling her blatant lies, and instead of my mother asking me about the lies she was telling her - she just cut herself off from me, my husband, and my two sons. It has been four years since me, my husband, and sons have been invited to ANY family function, NOT EVEN holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas. When I've tried calling my mom, she don't answer. And then the last straw - when I COMPLETELY lost it with my cousin - was the night she called MY CELL PHONE at midnight while I was asleep in bed with my husband, and she started moaning into the phone, "OH RICH, YOU'RE SOOOO GOOD IN BED, OOOOOH YEAH, DO IT LIKE THAT..." in other words, she was acting like she was having sex with my husband! She had blocked her number because she THOUGHT in her half wit little brain that she could disguise her voice and I wouldn't know WHO was calling - what she didn't plan on me doing was recording the vile crap she was spewing out - and she definitely didn't count on me taking that recording to HER HUSBAND and asking him if he thought that was her - JUST LIKE I DID. And sure enough, when he heard it, HE WAS LIVID at her! He didn't leave her because he knew she was just doing it out of being mean, and HIS exact words were, "she's being evil toward you! She TRYING to piss you off!" He also went on to say how ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT is destroying ME and how my mother and grandmother always saw ME as their perfect little angel and HER as the black sheep! She also told him SEVERAL TIMES that one day I was gonna be where she's been placed her whole life, which was in 2nd place to me. She said I was gonna SEE how it felt to not have anyone believe you, let alone LIKE YOU! I've never done A THING that would warrant ANY of what she's put me through EXCEPT for my being stupid enough to believe she'd changed. I won't fall for it again though. And what's even worse is my mother, AND NOBODY, realizes that my cousin is a drug addict. A friend of mine who works at the Sheriffs Department told me that my cousin has been arrested more than three times for DUI's and drugs, and she's NOT suppose to be driving, BUT SHE IS. But I stay out of it now. If they don't want to talk to me because they believe HER LIES, then I'm not gonna offer them any information on HER secret life that I KNOW she keeps from them because if they knew - they'd cut her lose JUST LIKE THEY DID ME, and I WASN'T doing drugs and have NEVER been arrested! She's also been arrested for shoplifting and theft, and nobody knows about THAT either. Again, I'm not tellin em. They deserve EVERYBIT OF HELL she's about to rain on them with her drama, mischief, and criminal activity. SO THAT alone makes ME feel justified with them cutting me out of the loop. Matter of fact, it was when I told my cousin I couldn't be around her anymore because of her negative behavior, that two weeks later she called my mother and told my mother that I was mad at her (my cousin)BECAUSE she wouldn't get me any drugs! And again, I'm NOT, NOR WAS I on drugs! My brother was the one who told me my cousin said that to mom. My brother said we have so much drama down here that he's not coming here for a while. He lives in another state and has actually not EVER liked our cousin.

    • mrsunderstood72 23 months ago

      I am a total outcast within my family. My parents have died more than 13 years ago. I took care of both my parents when they became ill. My other siblings didntnhave or make the time. My older sister will invite me over but if her kids or friends show up, i become a bother. My sister next to the oldest is hellish to the core. She has turned two of her kids into drug users and has turned her other daughter against me. We don't speak. She is.also sleeping with our older sisters husband. For years. She has talked about me around town. She throws in my face that i can't have children. I disown her. She is rotten. Thw only one, thus far is sheila. She lives out of town but we speak daily. I have a wonderful husband who.loves me morw than i could ever imagine. I adore him. My blood family..well its few and far in between.

    • Priscilla 22 months ago

      My mother told me that she did not need any of her children's love, because she has her self to love. She abandoned me & my brother when I was 5 years old. I did not even know where she or my father who is a deadbeat was half the times growing up. By the grace of God my grandmother was there to raise us & give us the love & care that we deserved. My mother collected child support & welfare for us even though we were not living with her. She took $2,000 of my child support checks & took herself & my brother's father who is also a deadbeat to Jamaica, while I am helping my grandmother raise her 2 other children while she is partying with him & her friends over the years, as she treat us like crap. She belittled me & still does to this day at 29 years old. I have 2 careers, never been in trouble with the law, happily married, no children yet, & she still can't be proud & happy for me, no matter what I do. She is a very disrespectful & unkind person & likes to start trouble with people. I can go on & on about her, but I'll leave it at that.

    • sush 19 months ago

      well said words. but dear what to do when your mother only take side al the time to the sister who is always jealous from me...on nasty things even??? And then she always look for chance to put me dwn infrnt of mom...whyy??? She even md hell on my wedding day but still mom forget tht and tk her side alwayyysss. what to do???

    • mzindependent profile image

      mzindependent 19 months ago from Texas

      It's possible that your sister uses your mom's 'favoritism' of her to anger you and employs it as a way to inflict pain on you. In this case, I simply wouldn't entertain both of them at the same time. Work on your relationship with your mom one on one without your sister present. I've seen parents simply take sides with the brat kid to calm them down and hopefully end the squabble. This may not be the situation that you're facing. However, I'd stop giving the jealous sister the opportunity to use your mom as a pawn in her game to belittle/destroy you. Wishing you the best!

    • Sanjeev 19 months ago

      I used to feel guilty for my success. I found that some family members were jealous inside of my success but in the outside they were not showing it. It is sad to hear from third person that your own family member are jealous of your success. Now, I have learnt to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.

    • Mustbeheard 17 months ago

      My mother, sister and brother are jealous of me! My husband family are jealous of him and I! So, it feels as though we are on a island. It's really hard, and emotionally devastating that both of our families are so much against us that none of them attended our wedding! I even had a group of them plan a event that literally almost killed me! I really hate the advice of you should not say anything about your personal life, which means you have to be on guard! Personally, I just cut them out of my life! It hurts, but sometimes a person needs to respect themselves first, as you have to live with yourself! As of late, my husband and I have been trying to make new friends and make our own family!

    • vasha33 17 months ago

      Im still tired of all the BS myself! Trust me Mustbeheard it gets worse! Try having friend who was ur coworker and became ur boss be jealous of you! I've never experienced anything like it. Until now! Jealously has no fu#king mercy!

    • Antoine 17 months ago

      I choose to stay away from them as much as possible. If you're for me then you're against me. If you're against me then you're an enemy, not family.

    • Shireen 16 months ago

      Hi i just love ur hub this is so true .. U have given so many wonderful examples ..i want to read more from ur side .. This is a great article.. iam going through the same problem since many years .. And im just tired of some of my family members my aunts and cousins who are always jealous of me in everything ,what i buy what i wear where i go,who i meet ,and they just be so irritating and involved in my life .. It really sucks and i just hate ppl getting involved unnecessarily in my life.and they just copy me and do competition with me just to get better and expensive things than me and they spend alot of much money in comparing and buying stuff tht i buy ..Apparently i got married 3 years ago and it was an arrange marraige and i think im very blessed to have a wonderful , caring and loving husband who is always with me in my ups and downs even my parents and siblings loves me the most .. And i have a loving 4 younger brothers who love me and care about me and did so many things for me and they are always with me and im the only daughter so my mom dad and brothers loves me like anything ..But still there are some of my dads sides relatives n my cousin sisters who just hate me n imagine 2 of them are younger to me n 2 cousins r of the same age..they Hate me so much that they just show it on their faces and give negative comments ,and when i go to their place they just dont talk to me and just give me weird looks and show attitude.they always ignore me and they leave me alone n hang out . they are younger but still misbehave with me and when i tell their parents about their behaviour they dont believe me rather they encourage their kids to misbehave with me n their children do it in front of them.when i ask them what the hell they r doing they dont accept it.n just show as if im being aggressive and simply telling n i try to ignore them and cut them off from my life many times but they still disturb me through fb whatsapp by putting weird senseless comments and status indiectly about me.. I just want to go far away from i just deleted them from fb n whatsapp.. But i know that they will not accept if i ask them about the abusive and mean status tht they hv been putting .. Im very glad that i remove them from my fb so i dont stress so much now.. I have done my mbbs and im officially a doctor now and i completed my studies 2 years back .. Im 25 .. And my parents, siblibgs and my husband are really proud of me and they encourage me in everything i do n they are happy from inside.but my cousin sisters didnt study anything great in life .. Rather doing gossip cheating people ,laughig at minors ,being mean to others and being disrespectful to elders n poors and just wasting life in hating people , spending money spoiling others life and being jealous .and they parents earn a lot of money that is why they think the are rich enough n treat everyone as no one has nothing in life if theres no money.they are money minded what matters them is just money nothing else ..But my parents made an effort and did so many sacrifices just to make me a better person in life and a doctor .. But these cousins and my aunts just cant take it.. They dont appreciate my success and my good things and they just be mean with me .. And they have always created a drama in my life and whenever i tried to fix it and be very nice to them n sometimes i miss them but they have ruined every effort that i made and hurt my feelings..and their parents support them in being disrespectful.. So i thought these people wont change so i should just keep going forward and shut my mouth n keep away..because im not like them n i dont want to get to their level.. i was just ruining my career my profession n going away from the people who love me the most by thinking about them n i think they dont worth it.. They dont worth my attention n love and ppl just try to stop u and pull u down when u r doing so much better in life .. So i decided to love my parents ,siblings , friends and husband the most rather than wasting my time in entertaining my relatives who just cant be happy .. And love the ppl who love u the most, who was always with u in ur difficulties and in ur success and happiness .. Y to waste ur single minute in just thinking about losers..and since 2 months i started keeping distance with my cousins and aunts and just want to be happy ..and live happily and make ppl happy around me ..

    • Shireen 16 months ago

      Just need more advice from u .. So pls help me what else i can do to be happy

    • Mustbeheard 15 months ago

      @Shireen- The first thing you need to do is, realize that you do not need your cousins, aunt and uncle to be happy! Celebrate your immediate family's love, mother, father and brothers! Know that your cousins know they are hurting your feelings, that is why they do it! Once, you show them that their actions do not hurt you they will quit! Its tough to pretend, but YOU can do it! Or just remove yourself from any time with them whatsoever!! Love your life be proud of your accomplishments, and appreciate and treasure the people who do love you, and forget about the rest as it is their problem not yours. Best Wishes, and Good Luck!

    • Shireen 14 months ago

      Thank you so much @mustbeheard i like your advice .. Do you think that deleting our cousins and aunts from fb really helps .. I feel bad sometimes for not controling emotions n overreacting in depression.. Do you think its best to be away or trying to fix things back to normal ?

    • Vasha33 14 months ago

      Hi Shireen. Maybe there is nothing to fix. They are the way they WANT TO BE WITH YOU. I bet $20 that they only act like with you. I've learned so much about fixing. Maybe this is the fix. Get out of their way and your own way. Trust that it's difficult but whatever is going to happen will happen. Them being crazy is normal

      to them. Not to you. They don't think anything needs to be fixed.

      Be Blessed!

    • anonymous 13 months ago

      Great website. Im going through alot right now and my mothers sister does not help. She calls everyday and complains about something and when she calls us at times and were not home she will say things like where were you thought you were out of town etc. I dont want her knowing my business at all. I live with my mother. She never learned how to drive and im unemployed and my father died a few years ago. I am an only child. And i am thinking of relocating to florida my mother wants to stay for her sister who never comes over to see her and lives a half hour away and is also unemployed if this isnt nuts i dont know what i . I could goo on and on but i cant live my life because i half to make everyone else happy misery loves company

    • 12 months ago

      All I can say after reading these posts is, Bless The Lord that someone understands. I've been dealing with aunts, cousins and friends being jealous practically all my life. Though, I'm a child of God I still get very, very sad over how I've have been and continue to be treated by them. I'm 42 years old, soon to be 43 and I still cry just like a young child. I cry at night and wake up to swollen eyes in the morning. I'm so hurt and feel so alone. I want so much for my aunts and cousins (especially) to love me and see me for who I am and stop hating me because of what they "think" I have or see me as. I have no more than the rest of them and have even less than some of them. It just hurts so much.....

    • Cena 11 months ago

      Hi T, I feel your pain, I've been there.. I'm seriously tired of my family. If we had a choice to walk out of one family and into another I'd take it, that should say a lot! God has to have a lesson for us to learn from this situation. I don't understand what it is, but thats how I deal with it for now.

    • Deepti 11 months ago

      Thank you...

    • Craig 10 months ago

      I too have experienced the poison of having jealous family members.

      I am a single childless male. I have two sisters. One married with two adult children and another single sister who is also childless. I own my own place and two others. They know this. My mother died recently and after the family house was sold, we each inherited equally (myself and my two other sisters). That's when the comments from my sister's husband started. Comments like: you are lucky to have what you have at your age, Craig will give you a few thousand (he said this in front of my sister's children - my nieces), he talks about my apartment and guesses how much it is worth. He has made comments about me being in steady employment too and how lucky I am to have a well paying job whilst completely ignoring that I work hard and am a valued employee.

      I am a non-drinker and when we go to restaurants they would order expensive wine. When I indicate that I am only paying for the food I had, I get snide comments, like "Thanks Craig."

      My niece told me that she thought I was someone to be jealous of, and when I acted surprised she said "What don't you think so? You own your own place and have seen the world!" That is a reference to me travelling - obviously it must have bothered them.

      My sister asked me to give money for her adult child's (she is 22 and working) overseas holiday, I told her that if people travel they should make sure they have the money to go before they leave. Fair comment - I certainly haven't asked people to pay for my trips.

      Up to last year I bought they kids birthday and Christmas presents each year - I got nothing in return. Now I do what they do for me, a text message wishing them a happy birthday.

      My sister's husband has often been mean to me over the years and I think that me inheriting money as a single person has really gotten to him and gotten to his wife (my sister) as well. I am gay and he is also a homophobe. I think he has gradually been poisoning my sister and her children against me.

      We have never had a big argument as such but it is just the general vibe I get from them, plus the comments too make me think they are very resentful and jealous of me.

      One of my nieces told me that her mum (my sister) says I am selfish and yet I paid for my mum's aged care facility while they did nothing. They rarely visited her.

      At my niece's 21 birthday party, my niece made a speech. In the speech she acknowledged dead relatives, friends and even neighbours but I was ignored.

      I think they are jealous of me and resent me having my own place plus others but I bought those places and went travelling before any inheritance. They would love to say I owe them something but I don't and they know it.

      My other sister who is not married, kind of wants to be popular with them and let's me know when she sees them but I have kept my distance the last few months and I am putting them on the back burner and limiting my communication with them. I don't need their negative energy. I just get on with my life and enjoy my friends. When I hear from them, I let them know I am well and wish them all the best. My guess is that just fuels their resentment.

      It is disappointing but I am keeping my distance as for me, that is the best thing to do.

    • vasha33 10 months ago

      Hey Craig. You keep doing you brother. That's all that matters. I don't have inlaws yet. But I can image the b/s that they can bring. I'm sorry your mum is gone...didn't seem like you had the time to mourn her correctly. Start you a business. It can be home-based. Then you could really focus your time and energy on that. Your sisters are dumb. I wish my family cared as much as you did. I stop buying presents a log time ago. I got tired of getting nothing year after year. Don't let that brother in law trip you up either. He is definitely hating and that's a shame. Keep doing you and think about the home based business. If you have time go to my website It may be something your interested in. Its sad that we let ourselves get down behind acceptance from others. But that's the only we go up. Is by going down. However, we can't stay down. Staying down is how they want us. Lower than they are. But I read that anyone who is trying to keep you down is already below YOU! Find it in your heart to release any pain. Its hard but you will find away. I've done it alot. Ive been so mad that my face would hurt the next day from frowning. But the "good news" is there is always a way out! Stay Blessed! Here is my Instagram @castlevee

    • MiddleChild312 9 months ago

      Yes, very mature response. I do love my jealous family members but, since their jealousy seems to dominate our relationship, I can't help nudging them a bit sometimes. They treat the members of the family they aren't jealous of very differently from me and my spouse and kids so I just sort of point this out with gentle ribbing. It relieves any small lingering hurt feelings that could develop. I love them and they will have to live with their jealous/selfish actions, not me. But we are all human and I don't and can't always "rise above." I'm ok with that. I don't do anything I would ever feel regret or shame about but I don't not acknowledge either. It's a loving balance. And I definitely don't hide it when I or my spouse or kids have good fortune or work hard for something that we are excited about or proud of. I sing to the hills - on FB anyway - and let the chips fall where they may. I figure it's good for them to deal with their own feelings - not my job! I love my life. I shout about that. And I think that's OK.

    • mustbeheard 9 months ago

      The strangest thing about jealousy,(am I have been jealous of others, but not in a vicious way), is that once you acknowledge it, it just disappears. It's like a cancer that keeps on growing inside, if you hide it, and once it is released it dissipates! I think in the future, I will tell my jealous relatives that I know they are jealous of me, I am going to put it out on the table. Hopefully, once they acknowledge it, it too will dissipate; and we can become the family we were meant to be. I will tell you how it goes

    • vasha33 9 months ago

      Mustbeheard please let me know how it goes. I just seen my sister the other day. I just waved and went on. She didn't acknowledge it tho. Lol but hey I could have just cussed her out. Ur right we do get jealous but dang we leave it at that! I fix credit and offered my service to her and she didn't respond, she know I know her sh*t jacked up! I been doing for her kids and grand kids and she still have a problem with me. Oh well My God is bigger! Take Care!

    • lkanony 9 months ago

      I find this article very interesting and intriguing. Would you happen to have any insight on handling/dealing with aloof/jealous in-laws? Sister-in-laws to be exact.

    • scooter 5 months ago

      In my case, it is my only sibling and even my parents. It has caused me lots of sadness throughout my life and your article was very helpful. Thank you so much!

    • MiddleChild312 5 months ago

      Hi Ikanony,

      I have the same sister-in-lw I think! Lol! Very judgmental and aloof but because she has a school counselors degree - not a full Clinical Psych degree by any means - has decided she understands everyone's behavior and has these odd pat phrases in response to everthing like, "I'm very sorry that happened." But you don't get the sense she has even really heard what your said. Very held, very cold, vet always making sure she does and says what she things is the right thing, whether empathetic or not. Almost robotic. Very uncomfortable to be around. I don't think she would ever admit to jealousy and I have noticed she doesn't ever say, "I'm sorry." That's a big alert for me. My feeling if someone can't actually connect with you or admit to their own feelings and take some responsibility for them, even with humor, it's not your responsibility to make up the difference because they are family. A relationship is a two way street. It takes effort, caring and commitment on both sides. I would say just don't waste to much time because nothing you do is likely to change who she is or how she behaves.

    • SoDone 5 months ago

      this article and comments have been so helpful. I have been so frustrated with both sides of my family (mother and fathers). I feel like I'm the outcast since I have chosen to take a healthier path and better myself. I don't drink anymore, and have been working on myself for almost 10 years. I don't care what they do as it is there choice, and who am I to judge. I am now 30 and have a solid grip on who I am, and it's like the more happy and clear I get, I am being jabbed at, and/or left out. Certain family members have cliqued together, and I know they bitch about people. I live away from my hometown, and I can sense the weirdness when I am around some of them. (like when you've been talked about). Even when I come into town they dodge me or don't even make an effort when I reach out to try and see them or make plans. Going home used to be my favorite thing in the world, but I have no desire to go home anymore. All I have been doing is living my life and I haven't even seen them lately. Yet its like some of them secretly hate me or something. My mothers side doesn't even talk to each other since my grandmother passed away. My dads side is so screwed up since my other grandmother passed away. I am so done with all un-healthy behaviors, and gossiping. I have learned my father does not have my back and has treated me like shit the last 2 times I seen him and never apologizes for anything. (Last straw). I watch the unhealthy patterns, and am asked for advice, yet they act like nothing has happened. My dad had a heart attack last year, and is not even supposed to be drinking or smoking, and chooses to continue basically on the daily. he gets ugly when he hits a certain point and I have spoken to him about this. I have set the biggest boundary in my life and have solidly chosen to not take part in any of it anymore. I choose love and to be peaceful, and don't need to feel like this to feel like I have a family. family is who you choose, and you have a choice where you put your energy and who you choose to be around. if they want to speak to me fine, but I am not going out of my way anymore. So much harder with family. It's like the older I get the more insane people are lol.. if that makes sense, and bigger choices you need to make for your self. Aside from Family BS I am happy every day and its like they don't like it. they want me to be happy but mabe not happier than them? I don't get it.

    • Dorothy 3 months ago

      What a brilliant article. Thank you.

    • Hanan Alshameri 3 months ago

      I love this article i wish my family reads it

    • Grams 2 months ago

      Wow, I have been trying to pinpoint my feelings on this topic for years, can't believe how many are experiencing the same things. Was feeling so isolated until now. Thanks to all for sharing on such sensitive subject. Hope and solutions restored for this Thanksgiving!

    • Got a be different I 13 days ago

      Excellent article.Exactly what I was looking for.

    • Fran 42 hours ago

      I couldn't agree more the person who is the center of this jealousy needs to stay strong and realize they are not at fault. My eldest son & wife are very jealous of his younger sister. Even though all my four children have been treated as equally as possible, my son is constantly making sarcastic and negative remarks towards her, which I am totally fed up with, as she has done nothing to warrant this treatment. My daughter has always been a loving and supportive sister to him, so really can't understand his behavior. I am only assume it is jealousy. I try to stay out of it as much as possible and be neutral, as certainly don't want to add fuel to the fire. My daughter has taken the stance that she is just going to continue to live her life as normal and treats her brother well, despite the fact that his behavior really hurt her feelings. As said the person who is the object of the jealousy needs to stay strong and continue living life to the fullest , as they are not the ones with the problem. It is a shame in this instance, as we feel that we can't share any milestones or good things in my daughters life with her brother and wife. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't have a sister as I just don't feel like I can talk about her in front of him. This is such a shame as they could be the best friends and support for each other, if he only let it. Sometimes I feel like giving my son a good talking too but honestly feel this would only make the situation worse. What do others think?

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