The Silent Suffering of Parent Abuse: When Children Abuse Parents

Updated on May 3, 2018
Expert ReviewedAlicia Bradley, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC)
Source

What Is Parent Abuse?

We have all heard of child abuse and how children are damaged by this terrible behavior, and you only have to Google "child abuse" to find page after page of information, support groups, and advice on this subject, but, how many people have heard of parent abuse? Especially at the hands of teenage children with serious social interaction and violence issues? Google it. You won't find much, except on a few support sites.

Parent abuse occurs when the child commits an act or acts against the parent through manipulation, control, and intimidation in order to exert control and have power over the parent. According to Barbara Cottrell in the book When Teens Abuse Their Parents, parent abuse can be defined as "any harmful act of a teenage child intended to gain power and control over a parent." Though it should be noted that children of any age (whether pre-teen or adult) can commit parent abuse, not just teenagers.

It's a growing problem for parents who share their home with abusive young people, and there is virtually no support. In both the UK and the US, the law is on the side of the child, not the parent, and that along with the stigma attached to it, make it difficult for parents to come out and admit abuse.

Parent abuse can take on many different forms, from physical, emotional, verbal, to financial abuse.

Spotting the Signs of Parent Abuse by a Teenager

Parent abuse is a form of domestic abuse and it is a serious problem which results in physical harm, depression, damage to property, job loss, and family breakdown. It is usually perpetrated by a child in their teens displaying the following behavior towards you and members of your family. Signs include:

  • Threats of and/or physical violence including hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, slapping, biting, hair pulling with or without weapons or objects.
  • Swearing and name calling
  • Intimidation
  • A constant refusal to do what has been asked (going to bed, coming home, asking friends to leave, cleaning up after themselves, not attending school/college/work) or contribute to the household or participate in normal family activities.
  • Bullying by text or phone
  • Stealing money or property or misuse of parents credit cards/phones/computers
  • Deliberate damaging of property
  • Threats of or actual violence to pets or other children of the household as a way of intimidation
  • Emotional blackmail
  • Drug/alcohol abuse in the home
  • Belittling parents in front of friends/other family members/public.
  • Willful drug abuse in front of family/friends
  • Other illegal activity

Many parents may recognize some of these signs as "normal" teenage behavior, but those suffering from parent abuse have experience physical harm resulting in medical treatment or even death, damage to property, theft, and bullying at the hands of their teenage children. This causes parents to lose confidence in themselves and it is debilitating for the child as the parent loses complete control over them.

Quite often, the child who is abusing the parent does it wilfully and for enjoyment, since the ability for empathy and compassion is not well-developed in the teenage psyche as they are dealing with anger management issues, psychological disturbances, and hormones. Not all teenagers turn on their parents, but there is an increasing number that are.

Since children have been made more aware of their rights as a child, it has prevented parents from administering chastisement and punishments traditionally used to control rowdy and unacceptable behavior. The law is always on the child's side, through legislation in child protection, but there is very little to protect parents from children who abuse their parents, and in the UK, as a parent, you are legally responsible for that child. In the US there is a similar system in place. This abuse expands into the realm of schooling as well, where students abuse their teachers and in other situations where an adolescent abuses an adult.

In most cases, Social Services are not interested, unless the child has a long history of repeated offenses of violence involving the police. Schools often permanently exclude teenagers with behavioral issues, but since there is virtually no support for these kids or their parents, they quickly turn to drugs and crime.

Parent abuse is not restricted to certain social groups; it can affect single and two-parent families equally. It is usually the mother (or the main caregiver) who is most affected, but other children in the family and fathers suffer too.

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What Causes Teens to Abuse Their Parents?

Many people consider parent abuse to be the result of bad parenting, neglect, or the child suffering abuse themselves, but many teen abusers have had a normal upbringing and have not suffered from these issues. Other factors contribute to children abusing their parents, such as undiagnosed mental illness, which can cause the child to be unable to control their emotions. Additionally, if the child sees domestic abuse happen in the household, they will be more likely to continue such behaviors.

My personal belief is that as a society, we are not teaching our children respect, love, and care. We are allowing them to be subjected to violence on TV, film, and music, and violence is considered "normal." Drugs and alcohol can play a huge part, as can gang culture. Social deprivation is another factor, as is many teens not having adequate role models or enough input from male members of society. The breakdown of the family unit and the increasing number of children who have poor or nonexistent relationships with an absent parent, debt, unemployment, and parental drug/alcohol abuse are also contributory factors on parent abuse.

Psychological Effects of Parent Abuse

Parents who are exposed to abuse from a child are affected in many different ways, with many psychological issues as a result of the abuse. They can lose their ability to control the household and feel trapped with nowhere to go. Taking more serious measures against the child could result in Social Services taking the child away.

Loss of control and the inability to parent effectively are two major effects of abuse. This loss of control can bring up feelings of inadequacy as the parent feels that they have let down the family and that there is nothing they can do to remedy the situation.

Blame

Many parents feel that they are to blame for the child's behavior and are thus reluctant to seek help from anyone. Giving into the child's demands and abusive tactics only make the situation worse.

10 Steps for Dealing With an Abusive Child

Do not allow yourself to suffer in silence, take back control. You do not have to give your power away, and you can put a stop to this abuse.

  1. If you are suffering from parent abuse, you must recognize that you are not at fault and do not deserve this, as with any form of abuse. Speak to a friend, or contact a domestic abuse support group. Seek professional help.
  2. Calmly confront the child about their behavior and tell them in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate it anymore. Explain that what they are doing is abuse ( be prepared for them to turn the tables on you and abuse you further) and explain that they need professional help. Re-assure them that you still love them, but this is the end of the line. Remove all privileges, rights to cell phones, computers, video games, money, etc. and refuse to be a taxi service. If they refuse to come home, report them as missing to the police and get them picked up in a squad car. Sometimes police intervention is enough of a wake-up call for them. Be careful, set boundaries and punishments and enforce them. If the child makes homicidal threats don't hesitate to call the police and get them a psychiatric evaluation.
  3. If you feel that you can still communicate with your child, seek mediation, and explain that you will not tolerate this behavior. Lay down some ground rules, and regain control of the situation. Take a hard stance and tell your child that if you are hit again, you will call the police and have them arrested. Don't call their bluff, do it. They need to see that you mean business. If your child physically harms you, steals from you, or damages property, involve the police immediately and PRESS CHARGES! It's tough love we are talking about here!
  4. Try not to retaliate by hitting back unless in absolute self-defense, and disarm them if they come at you with a weapon. Many abusers will ring social services to claim you have hit them, and the law comes down on their side every time. You will be prosecuted for hitting your child, and your child will be placed on an "at risk" register as will any other children in your household. They may even be removed, which can be good news if the offending child is removed but unfair for the siblings or for you. If in doubt and under threat of violence, call the police. Invariably, Social Services will not be interested at all, unless you are yourself a drug abuser/alcoholic or violent towards your child, in which case, they will put the child on the "at risk" register, and seek to remove the child for its own safety. See? No support for parents who suffer from appalling behavior from teenage children who are often physically bigger and stronger than the parent.
  5. Seek help from extended family and friends, and see if they can offer to give you respite by taking the child from you for a few days.
  6. Get in touch with Parentline Plus, a UK organization dedicated to helping parents with their issues. You can call them on 0808 800 2222. Visit their website and look on the message boards for help and support groups in your area. They often run groups which offer practical support and tips for parenting difficult teens. You can meet with other parents who are in the same boat as you and find support there. Additionally, in the US you can call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  7. Approach your child's school and have your child referred to child and adolescent mental health services, or refer them yourself, informing them that you are suffering parent abuse.
  8. Keep a journal of events, with dates, times, etc., or a video diary, and film your child when they are abusing you (you can use your mobile phone or digital camera). Often, when faced with media of their own behavior, it can shock them into accepting help from professionals.
  9. Get therapy for yourself and your family.
  10. If none of these work, then the last resort is to do what is termed a "lock out." This is where you lock the child out of the home and refuse to allow them to enter. It's tough love, but you cannot continue to allow this behavior to go on without resolving it. You owe it to your child to teach them that abuse is unacceptable and that they will be excluded from the home if their behavior continues. This will cause Social Services to get involved so be prepared for that if you decide to take this step.

Resolving Parent Abuse

Hopefully, you found some strategies in this article to help you deal with abuse from your children. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and there are solutions that can stop the violence from continuing. Just stay strong and be vigilant.

Expert Review

Alicia Bradley

Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC)
Chicago
  • The article has been modified since this review was written.

“Looks great! This is an important topic to make people aware of.”

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    • profile image

      Mahesh Shah 

      7 days ago

      I have a daughter who has been living with me since 5 years ,when i took custody and she was then 9years old./now at 15years she is absolutely impossible to control and i control freak and as knocked me twice.She is a dangerous girl and will not listen and keep demanding money all the time and I am on state pension and cannot afford monies.I am a heart patient and cannot take it any more.Please I need desperate help.I need to get rid of her from my house.I also have a brother who has learning difficulties and I am his carer.All I and my brother want is to live in peace.I am 65years old.Please can soeone help and advise.

    • profile image

      NewNana 

      8 days ago

      My 24 year old daughter keeps threatening to keep my brand new (and only) grandchild from me. Even before the baby was born, if we had any kind of argument, no matter how severe she would threaten to block my number and I'd never see her or my unborn grandchild. Now that the baby is here, it has gotten worse. My daughter lies, twists everything I say, and focuses on part of conversations thus distorting my words and telling the story to people like my son, my sister and her partner so that they think I'm the bad guy in all this. If I try to explain to my son (who I am close with, for now!) that it's all distorted, he tells her off and then I get abused for hours over the phone, accused of "playing the victim". I allowed her and her partner to move into our rental property to help them out (rent free) and although she has just moved in, is now angry with me because she feels it is her home and refuses to acknowledge that it is only temporary (we agreed verbally 3 years) which we felt was more than generous! She is so horrible, any attempt to get close to her, and she accuses me of only doing it because of the baby, and so she tries to hurt me by threatening to take that from me. Please help! I'm shattered.

    • profile image

      Going Nuts 

      10 days ago

      My daughter is 26yrs of age. She has chosen to do a Masters. She lives with me and all she has ever done is blamed me for everything that has gone wrong. Her relationship, her life and just about anything that makes her feel bad. She is highly intelligent, beautiful to look at and generally can be very kind. However, there are times when you are having a discussion and if you do not agree with her she just lashes out and starts name calling. "You're pathetic" "Sad" "A joke". She swears and compares me to her dad, who is the better parent, as I am a "shit mother", why can't you be a normal mother. Last night I stayed quiet and it upset her even more. I am tired and exhausted mentally and physically. She tells me that I have depression and I need help. She is so abusive, I told her she is being a bully and she then screamed at me and said I'm affecting her self esteem, making her feel more anxious and affecting her health, making her want to commit suicide. Sometimes she can be sweet and kind but when she turns it is so horrible. I have found solace in knowing that I am not a bad mum and she has a health issue. I understand that she is not well and I do care, however, the buck stops now. She is 26, chose to do a Masters and is not working. It's not my fault her dad and I did not work out. I am a kind, caring and loving mother to both of my children and I will always love them, but it's time to cut the apron string and allow them to experience life without me for a bit. I have a life to live and will not allow anyone to abuse me anymore. Thank you for all of your stories it has helped.

    • profile image

      Colleen 

      2 weeks ago

      I see a lot of comments but is anyone getting help? This article is amazing. I love my 15 year old so much I tolerate his physical (I was just thrown down on the ground for taking Phone I didn’t get), mental , & verbal abuse. I have been all over my state out of money in testing, counselors, And crying out for help. I’m not a drug therapy mother. My oldest is in military but my youngest sees this daily and I adopted my nephew. My heart hurts so badly. I’ve not been in a relationship since my divorce in 2010. I can’t be. I give him all my love and support. I want him to know my children will always be most important. I have so much more but want to know someone will speak to me.

    • profile image

      Seekinginfo 

      2 weeks ago

      I love to investigate any thing that interest me and abuse of parents will be my next topic. Hope that what I find will open many peoples eyes. To me abuse of a parent starts at a very early age.

    • profile image

      Parents 

      2 weeks ago

      Most of the time if you think your kid is abusing you your abusing them and there scared

    • profile image

      2 weeks ago

      Ive been mentally and physicaly abused by my daughter 15 for the past 2 years ive been hit , spat at she causes damage to my house and car , she refuses to go to school , belittles me infront of her friends even tho they tell her to stop , demands everything if she doesnt get it she flips , has hit me in the car as im driving and dragged my head to the floor as im driving you name it shes done it , ive got no control and my partner doesnt help me i feel like ending my life at times just to escape the abuse , i cry myself yo sleep most nights

    • profile image

      Rebecca McInroy 

      3 weeks ago

      My son my youngest who I love with all my heart they all know this, I haven't seen in months I miss him terribly he has told me many times that he will come by for a hour visit never shows up he calls me names is cruel he is a complete different person it's killing me with worry I feel like my son is dead I'm very sad and upset

    • profile image

      Hopeless 

      3 weeks ago

      I have a 24 yr old son that treats me so bad. , He has called me everything from a worthless cunt to a f ing b tch and everything is always my fault every time I try to talk or defend my self I am told to shut up. I would move him out but a few yrs ago I got a divorce and bought my place and put it in his name thinking it was the right thing for us and now I'm constantly reminded that he is not moving out and I used everything I had and now I live pay check to pay check paying the bills as that's my purpose in life for living there. He screams out in front of my friends and neighbors and belittles me about what a fat lazy bit h I am .I'm always on pens and needles wondering what he will do or say. I feel sometimes it would be so much better if I wasn't here. I'm a Christian but I constantly pray for help and it seems like this is my he'll on earth.please help me understand

    • profile image

      do the world a favour DIE 

      3 weeks ago

      my son has been trying to destroy my happiness he made an accusation against his father leading me to flee to protect them...successfully he won in . 2014 I fleed our home as my husband was domestic violent , after beginning again with 2 liitle kids our son 16 came to live withus 2 .2014 and 3mths later he had me fleeing again, I had to leave him he wanted the kids to go to docs . he tried to set me up after I called the police for his rage on my knew tv and windows …. he put his pipe in my room, the police were clever enaccountough to get him to slip up and so he was charged for that and for 4 counts of willful damage, he stole 1000 from my bank . in order to protect the little kids , I had to pick up and go to refuge 2x in 1year [my husband& son] I fully left . kept paying the rent so I could return after he had returned back to his dad...….. well there was not much to return to ,the kids rooms wer perfect, my room ,all my clothes and things bleached egged flour cornflakes etc the rest of the house graffiti and personally sighned ,they took anthing and everything I had.what they didn't take they destroyed evry wall smashed after we cleaned and scrubbed graffiti . I still owe public housing 4000$...… after all this I despised him ,hes putrid ,no son of mine. my brother mad us cuddle and try, we family so now after beginning again again and now again in 2017 he needed me so im a mum[biggest sucker] I hear his change , gotta hope for the best chance, its 2018 now its been bad since my brother left. things have been escalating doors being broken from smashing them , verbal assaults . disciplineing his sibling by terror , and smacking, i have to protect them from him, he lives under neath our lounge so they tippeetoe everywere , he is addicted to the game fortnight 4 mths now ,ive seen big change, and sleeps when hes dead …its peak hour 6 pm [dinner time] kids might of skipped and woke him up and he got physical threatened to punch me twice ,rained abuse at me then started throwing my furniture, for nearly 3 years i haven't felt fear and terror ,most of all he made me a victim ….superheroe is what i thought i was VICTIM,im sick of being the victim just at the end of my healing , he wants to bak plot destroy he wants my chi ,our safe,home is gone he wants us to live in fear for he is GOD almighty1 its been 2 days since i no we have to flee again, this time i have house and contents insurance , an eviction notice, local country cops[great blokes]and a nice holiday to lay low.....hes the kicker have the electricity switched off from your supplyer …… TOUGH LOVE people may call it , i despise the despicable bludgineing grub, i do not have an adult son ,my children love me and would never hurt me. im ashamed of him, i really don't give a @#$# ill be actually greatful if i never ever here his voice or see his grubby face...…. 1 shame on mu 2 shame on me 3 no 3 hes great at sabotaging other peoples lives up...… put the joystick down and go hard alone finish destroying all the good u ever had and honestly before i go to refuge i will make it clear lose my number your dead to me. done dusted. my boy max he died.

    • profile image

      4 weeks ago

      Thank you for this article. It tells a painful truth. Many teenagers would be locked out if parents could find support rather than blame from social services.. We live in a world that allows childen to rule, and this damages all of us.

    • profile image

      ohio parent 

      4 weeks ago

      me too. abusive language, disrespect, damage in the house,attacked us numerous times. if i put a mark on him i'm in trouble, i can't be there for the rest of the family all the time. he's been in counseling, detention home and places like that. it's all a joke to him. we can't do anything about it and he knows it. the system looks the other way instead of facing the problem. you're not alone.

    • profile image

      Mori 

      5 weeks ago

      I have taken physical and mental abuse 4 many years and watch my husband just bury his head even went to jail for something I was falsely accused of and now the youngest of 7 has started physically abusing and falling in the same pattern of her siblings not sure I can take it any longer I don't know where to turn to other than I know God sees all hears all I feel like just giving up and ending it

    • profile image

      Kat w 

      5 weeks ago

      Outstanding resource thank YOU

    • profile image

      Www 

      5 weeks ago

      Please !!! How can I help my friend . She is being beaten by her two boys 15 and 13 . The beating is bad !

    • profile image

      mary dean 

      6 weeks ago

      endured years of abuse from son eventually diagnosed as autistic.one neighbour made our life hell by constantly phoning up social services every time he kicked off so we eventually let him attack us especially myself usually when my husband was at work and damage our house to stop any involvment of socias sl ervices who accused us of all sorts of abuse eventually when an adult son went to London where given somehelp On one occasion when

    • profile image

      6 weeks ago

      You know what they say - they learn from the best

    • profile image

      no name, please 

      7 weeks ago

      I have a 54 year old daughter who verbally abuses me & has used the f ---word. She doesn't live with me. She never did this when her father was alive. He would have hung up the phone when he heard me crying. She is a coward. She never yells at me when anyone is around. She is a coward. She knows I'm not well but for 3 months hasn't called me. When I tried to reconcile our situation, she said she needs space. I'm ready to let her go. Enough is enough , but it breaks my heart. It's difficult to unlove your child, but for my health , I have to.

    • profile image

      AR 

      7 weeks ago

      My son is 13 and I am 33. I just noticed this I was searching for something

      Or some help. I was just beat up by my son so bad and I am so scared to call the police on him. I love him but I am so scared-

    • profile image

      Victoria 

      2 months ago

      Ive been suffering for over a year now and im at my wits ends with my soon to be 16 year old he has zero respect he belittles me infront of his mates he steals he does drugs and stays out never comes home on time police been called many times he has carried knifes im so ill from all the stress

    • profile image

      Tee 

      2 months ago

      Is there a place shelter for abused parents I need to get out of my house my 18 year old is completely abusive to me the law states I can't put her out would have to evict her. She curses me destroy my home fights brother pulls knives out steals do drugs. Cut my mattress, sheets broke tv medicine cabinet. Turn over furniture and the police say i can't put her out I'm afraid she's going to try and kill me has wish death upon me please someone help me I need out of this house until I can get her out.

    • profile image

      Christine Wynes 

      2 months ago

      My son is 35 and he’s forever crazing for money if I don’t give in he’s really nasty so in the end I give in its easier but I’m sixty five and only have my state pension ... I’m getting to the stage where I want to kill him he’s making my life a misery Regards Christine Wynes

    • profile image

      SiFifi 

      2 months ago

      My 20 year old son demolished his room and his door because I woke him up at 11.30am, 30 mins before he wanted to wake up. He has an important exam on Tuesday. He also told me to f -off approx 50 times, called me a f-ing c__t the same number of times. This isn't the 1st time.

    • profile image

      Rachel 

      2 months ago

      Where is the help??

      My mums is mentally abused by my younger brother it's awful nobody seems to want to help

    • profile image

      Michael 

      2 months ago

      My nephew gets abused by my parents he gets hit in the back of the head name calling and gets hit with a wooden spoon to his back and behind have proof of it as well and turned into cps and they didn't do anything he is only 10 and will not speak out about this for he is terrified of them.

    • profile image

      SPENT 

      2 months ago

      I have an high functioning Autistic son...diagnosed @ 2.5 yrs of age we have had early intervention with Drs..social workers..mental facilities etc....be through it all! No support for parents....he is now 21 lives @ home goes to Jr College...has a weekend job....however...he is so mentally abusive towards me...which is from day one...always hatred...cussing....saying I'm a piece of shit...a slur a white u name it in been called it...we pay for everything...even the police say we can't kick him out because he has legal residency in our home...I'm just seeking other parents that they too have an adult child that are abusive...I thank u all for reading this...

    • profile image

      Sam 

      2 months ago

      Thank heavens someone sees the situation from the parents side. We have been dragged through courts,social services and youth offenders for the past 3 years !! But all the law wants to do is support the child and blame the parents. Our son is almost 17 and a complete nightmare !! No control no respect and very verbally aggressive.cant wait for him to leave home or worse go to prison !! At least we could get a good nights sleep and a reprieve from the anxiety and panic attacks .

    • profile image

      Melund 

      2 months ago

      I need help with my grown daughter hitting me

    • profile image

      Vicki 

      2 months ago

      Sitting here with an aching swelled skinned knee and bruised hand from a metal gate being thrown at me. I'm elderly and the grandma raising this 16.5 year old male, widowed, and getting ill. If I call cops I have to deal with juvie who don't do much but make it tough on the parents. I'm packing up, moving, and leaving my home empty in 18 months when he's 18. He can work and make it on his own afterward.

    • profile image

      Linda 

      3 months ago

      I called the police and I was the one that they arrested. My Son is so good at lying that I can actually understand why the police believed him over me. I am extremely depressed and feel like I have to give in to whatever he wants so I don't get hurt anymore because the last time he pushed me so hard that I can barely walk.

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      Mom of misery 

      3 months ago

      I have a 14 yr old son who has been in extensive therapy since 4yrs old. He is suicidal, physically abusive, verbally abusive, mentally abusive to me his teachers and siblings. My life has revolved around him i love him so much but i cant help him anymore im tired mentally tired i have no family to help and his dad tought him this behavior. He is taller and bigger then me now and he hites me, pushes me, calles me names pulls weapons out on me but has not pulled a knife out on me since he was 11. He walks and talks in sleep so i dont sleep. He blames everything on me and tells me what a horrible parent i am and he would never torture his kids like i do him because i took his videogames and phone. He tells me a lot of things actually. I have always been by his side, talk to him, help him catch up on school work, he saved me. But at the same time im so mentally tired i want to die i think about it all the time. How can i love somebody i almost died giving birth to and would do it again in a heart beat so much i cant imagine life without him, hate me so much put his hands on me disrespect me make me feel like a bad mom, person worthless. I just want to kill myself get it over with maybe he would do better without me.

    • profile image

      mary 

      3 months ago

      I wont give my name but l two duffer from my 18year old daughter. I know she is goong through a lot. I have to sell up as l am not with her dad anymore. I had to make a choice which was the best one for myself and my two teenage girls. But now l feel she is blaiming me. I cant take it anymore anf l have to look after myself. I have told my youngest of 18 it is not right the way she treat me. This only makes things worst. What can l fo l havebtold her she will gave to move out. But she wont and my ex wont help. I dont know where to turn for help. No ones wants to listen saying they cant make her do something she does not what to do. Its mad l left my husband to get away from abuse now here it is again from my daughter and apart from putting her on the street there is nothing l can do.

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      E and As mom 

      3 months ago

      Well I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who has TWO abusive children one 5 one 9! So I’m not looking forward to the t”teenage years”. Is there help for us anywhere????

    • profile image

      Richard Shellenberger 

      3 months ago

      I need help I get abused by my daughter every day I need help

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      hunter foster 

      3 months ago

      i am 48 with two young sons of my own,one eleven the other nine.i have been in a relatioinship for three years with a woman that i love dearly.

      she has a son 16 yrs old that has some serios issues,and has ecused me of hitting blacking his eye,breaking his arm and throwing him down the stairs.he also went to the sherriff dept.,dhs. and his probation officer and tryed to sale the up as a victim of abuse.

      HE never mentioned he had attack his mother and caused bodily harm...stand and fight for self

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      Bjorn smith 

      4 months ago

      This has been a bit of a relief finding this post.

      I have been struggling with my daughter since she was 13-14

      She’s abusive violent does pretty much what she likes and shows no empathy or remorse!

      When reading the information above it totally resonated

      I will never give her the satisfaction of lifting my hands to her, but she literally battered me, punching kicking pulling my hair, then at school alleged she was assaulted by my partner and I.

      She was taken into care during a police investigation. From there I did everything asked by social services etc all the meetings. The police investigation ended and they said that we had shown incredible restraint in difficult

      Circumstances.

      I begged with her to behave just so she could come home. She assaulted me every single time we met.

      After a few months she said she’d kill herself if she didn’t get to live with her gran. As she shouted and swore at me in a busy cafe whilst Social Work congratulated her for not losing her temper, I agreed.

      Since then the guilt is crippling. She emotionally and mentally abuses me, and since then, assaulted me at Christmas time and whilst I was driving the car.

      Everyone is just concerned about her welfare and I don’t feel safe to be with her. The judgy ness by education in particular is also difficult to bare!

      It’s her 15th birthday in a couple of weeks and she doesn’t want to see me and says it messed with her head seeing me.

      I don’t know what to do, but I long for her to be 16 so I don’t feel so responsible

      I’d love someone to talk to who is in the same situation

      This is not a child (just to counter the above stuff) who is socially deprived, in fact probably towards the side of being spoiled. I’ve always worked to make sure she has what she needs.

      I have been single parent with no financial support from dad, and I have had 3 partners in 15 years.

      So I am clearly to blame because of that . The guilt is quite profound..... when do I draw the line??

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      alone 

      4 months ago

      ive felt so lonely for so long killing myself seemed the only way to be free of the abuse and the hurt im generaly a happy person try not to get down try and smile but recently my 30yr old son has moved in its worse than ever he say im stupid everything that goes wrong is my fault embarasses me in front of guest by belittling me i.let him move in with hopes things would be different there worse i cry everyday all day and ask god what i did to deserve this. as much as i try to make him love me he doesnt he has no respect for me he would stick up for a complete stranger before ever takn myside before i end my life i will try cutting him out which makes me so sad cuz i love him so much and he hates me lonely and deperate

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      K SANTHOSH KUMARI 

      4 months ago

      Hi! I am a parent of 17 year old son. I am very much frustrated with the way he is behaving, he doesn't respect us, abuse with foul languages, through the things here and there, addicted to cigarattes, roaming with friends and always with mobile.

      If we question him, he will respond so rudely and misbehave with us. We are feeling very bad and unable to handle the situation. We are not in peace of mind and unable to control him.

      We pampered him and made him relaise about the facts of life. only for certain period of time he will listen and misbehave again.

      I literally need help to handle the situation. We are deciding to stay away separately from him.

      We are facing this situation since 3 years.

      Pls advise in this regard.

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      Caring Daughter 

      4 months ago

      Both me and my sister have been watching our younger 17yr old brother mentally abuse our parents for the last year and a half. It breaks my heart to see my parents treated this way considering how loving they where raising all three of us. My sister living next door with her boyfriend has tried to talk to my brother on countless times and it only ends in him never trying or changing. Even on Christmas me and my sister tried taking with him and all he does is cry or not talk. Then after that my dad gave him 4 cigarettes and he left for the rest of Christmas Day. He’s called my mother disgusting and useless when ever he doesn’t get his way. It’s always there fault when his car they bought for him breaks down because he drives it like its meant for a destruction derby. Countless times my parent have tried to get him a job but everything is always to hard or isn’t perfect so he doesn’t apply or talk the offer. School is something that maybe he goes for 20min a day otherwise he’s driving around town wasting there gas. If they don’t give him his way the house feels it and he punches holes in the wall. His room is full of stolen road signs to hide the 12+ holes in his walls. My mother father and I where in a serious car accident about 3yrs ago and my father couldn’t do his job as a painter anymore. Money is very low and he drains any penny he can get from them or steals from there room or wallet.

      Also nothing is ever his fault. Last night his car got broken into when he left it somewhere full of valuables in a shady town and that was my parents fault??? It breaks my heart because every time I come down to visit they’re fighting or my mother is crying. All she says is she hopes it will go back to normal because some days he good. But he won’t change...... I’m seeing the man my brother is becoming and on this path he’s taking he won’t have his family with him. My parents don’t deserve this and just because he’s my brother/ there son doesn’t mean he can get away with abusing them. I’ve read lots of the story’s here on this page and they all sounds so familiar. I’m scared the stress on my father will put him in the hospital from a heart attack or when my brother finally snaps on either on of my parents. I want my brother out of there house and I’m done letting this happen to them no parent deserves this from there own child. I’m not saying I understand %100 what you as parents go though or your situation but what I know is your child is becoming and adult and starting there life and if they treat you like utter shit you need to let them go.

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      coastalvixen 

      4 months ago

      I made the mistake of asking my daughter to help me when I had been warned for years to stay away. And I even told her that I was putting my house up for sale because things had gotten so difficult for me. I didn't realize that she wasn't even my daughter anymore, that her illness had completely taken over any morality or sense of fairness or rationality that she may have ever had. I have clinical depression, agoraphobia and PTSD. I had had a restraining order against a very dangerous person who the day after the 3 years were up showed up behind me at the corner store. This wasn't a new experience, it was the culmination and the worst of a string of bad experiences. I hadn't seen her in years, there had been periods where I had been able to just be alone and live quite well within my own world of rescues and other interests within my agoraphobia. But I always gravitated to painful men. And I had several years of very good psychotherapy. And some very bad disturbing mind controlling therapy manipulated by a psychologist and my 2nd ex-husband. That's enough for now. But I don't have a lot of time. But I was warned. Over and over.

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      Nobody 

      4 months ago

      I don't know where to start.im at lost of words why my daughter hates me SOOO much.. My daughter will be turning 18 in couple days .we have a really bad relationship.I have tried to bond with her and won't let me treats me like shit .she will only be nice when she wants something but when she does it's like I can't be smiling or in a good mood because she just always arguing me !! I can't even ask her anything cause she said I annoy her I get her sick .it's always something .I have no control at all .she is the type that will want to fight me if I try to disapline her so I just try to avoid her now ..I have tried and tried to fix our relationship for Soo long ..I have told her sorry for anything that I have done to cause her to hate me so much .But I'm to the point that I'm sick of kissing her ass and giving her everything and letting her walk all over me..I'm a single parent and I also have 3boys ages 14,11,3...There father isn't around and get Noo help from him so I'm also dealing with my 14 yr old son feeling hurt ect because of his dad not being around or has no contact with him . There father and I separated 3 yes ago And has moved on ..I'm just at a point right now feeling overwhelmed and Sad that my 18year old girl can be Soo mean and not care to see how much I try and do for them !!!!I can be in a good mood and she will just change all that..She literally bringing me down and it affects the rest of my kids...

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      jane 

      4 months ago

      My daughter is 15, she got into the wrong crowd at the age of 13, kids who smoked, took drugs and stole, their parents for whatever reason allow this sort of behaviour in their homes, let the kids flock around and take drugs and drink and smoke.

      My husband and i are not like that. I will not condone smoking weed in my home, if i find it and i usually do because it is skunk and stinks i flush it down the toilet. She tells us she is staying out at weekends and the mum she is staying with condones drinking and smoking.

      If i report her missing the Police bring her back and then she waits till they go and starts again, in fact the last time she went missing the Police found out where she was, my daughter, her friend and the mother where she was staying asked the police to meet them at the local shop, the police agreed and met them, then turned up at my house to say she was clean and happy and wanted to stay out again that night....this is the Police, so i have no power!

      Last night she came home and admitted that there had been a party at this house and she had got drunk, this resulted in her being sexual, the other mother condoned all of this.

      We have children's services on our backs because she is always late for School, she turns up at School smelling of weed and we are the ones under suspicion.

      My daughter steals money from us when she can, she swears and abuses us and even when we lock our home she breaks in and invites others in who look around our home, steal our things and abuse our life.

      I am at the end of my tether, i lie in bed on my days off work trying to sleep away the worries.

      She on the other hand is having a great old life taking drugs and drinking, what can we do.

      Well today i have made my mind up, i will be reporting the friends mother to childrens services, i will be making sure childrens services know that the Police condone such behaviour and i will be making it my mission to get her taken away from our family home.

      I will always love her but i hate her with a passion, and why should i be abused in the home i have been making for the last 20 years, why should i be stolen from and swore at.

      I am in the UK, here they make sure the emphasis is placed on the child, no help for the parents, in fact you are looked badly on if you state that you cannot cope, as i told the social worker, drugs are against the law, she smokes them in my home, i will not break the law, his only advise, compromise and allow her to only smoke drugs at the weekend....WHAT THE HELL!!!!

      NO i will not compromise on drug use, i tell you what you take her into your home and compromise with her, no i didn't think he would.

      The next time she does anything illegal she will be reported to the Police, i then hope she will get taken away and then i can at least relax in my own home without fear of being abused.....failing that i will kick her out at 16 so she can make her merry way in life, maybe then she will realise just how easy she had it at home.

      This abuse needs to be stopped, children know the way it all works and they know how to play the system, and if they don't they soon learn how to play the system from the other wayward children they mix with.

      I never imagined when i looked into my newborn daughters eyes with utter love and devotion 15 years ago that one day i would hate her and wish her gone, that she would become an abuser and a drug taker and that she would destroy everything she touched, that reality is soul destroying and has placed me to a point where i want to end my life, so i don't have to watch her destroy herself.

      THERE IS NO HELP FOR DECENT PARENTS LIKE US, THAT IS WHY OUR STORY WILL END IN TRADIGY.

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      Anomunious utah 

      4 months ago

      I have been verbally abused from my son he's in his 20s and I have tried telling hI'm to leave on his own since he graduated. He should be able to leave on his own since he has a big mouth..he's starting to abuse alcohol now and he's getting worse..I really want to move away from him since he won't leave our place..what do I do in a situation like this .I really need help talking to someone who would guide me through this..

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      Jakki 

      4 months ago

      I have read these parents cry for help.

      I thought I should share my experience in hopes of saving just one mom. Everything said has happened to me. Except hitting me. My son now 22. I took everything I had and sold it. There Just things. I then Co signed a apartment put food in refrigerator and moved him. In one day. My life is so beautiful now. I think its not real.

      He has 2 months to get a job or I will break the lease and he will be evicted. His choice. There is public transportantion. He's in a place he could walk to a job. I will also put him on public assistance. I also made a list of government agencies. The food bank. The shelters ect. I got him a cheep cell phone. He breaks it. His problem. Why did I do this? I love him so much I can't bare to see him not try in life because I did nothing. Every Sunday he comes to do his laundry and we talk. If handicape people can work and live on there own so can a young vibrant healthy strong man. God bless take your life back! I will not let anyone move in my home and abuse me or my husband.

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      fiona 

      4 months ago

      my son has got progressively worse - we have a lovely home - one of 4 kids - second eldest - he very lucky we have everything we need and they are taught to appreciate it . Over the last 18 months unknown to me hes started smoking weed and just turns into somebody I don't know - last week I battled to get them to let hims to stay in school after being found with cannabis. On Sunday - he broke 2 of my ribs and punctured a lung after being licked across the living room after repeatedly asking him to go to bed at 1045 . I do and don't want to call the police but I am so HURT and so ANGRY and whats overwhelmed me more is now hes saying its my fault - and said I need to apologise . My ex husband is clueless on what to do this is part of the issue - I am the discipline - but hes 6 foot 2 now and size 11 feet . One of his smaller siblings would not have got up from that punch . Im scared of him and he is absolutely not scared not me on any level .

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      Bandit 8 

      4 months ago

      My son has been hitting me calling me every name in the book while he demands money for pot he doesn't work or take care of himself at all no shower lo g nails long unkept hair and has no friends outside his drug connections. I live in San Jose area what help is there in my area

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      MrsX 

      4 months ago

      My 14 year old daughter has just started hurting me. She thinks she is above the law now. I’ve rang the police, they take her and then bring her back!! I’ve rang social services and they aren’t doing anything. I’m sat here with a bald patch and a bruised cheek because I took her phone for sneaking out of my windows at night. I don’t know what to do

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      anon 

      4 months ago

      This isn't just a problem with teens. I know a family who was afraid of the own adult child who stole from them, cursed and screamed at them and threatened them when they didn't give them enough money. They even tried to get control of their assets by trying to declare them incompetent, which went no where because everything said was a lie but it cost a lot of legal fees and emotional distress. They ultimately had to cut this child off as they refused counseling and the relationship just became more and more toxic.

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      RMD 

      4 months ago

      I am the mother of 14 year old abusive daughter living in India. We had a normal middle class family...until my daughter started acting up 3 years back...mu husband and me treated this as a normal teenage issue at first. She staryed throwing tantrums when we would refuse say no to getting some new gadget or going out with friends. She started getting verbally abusive and would hit me occasionally. And now three years on we are in a the worst possible situation. She now not only abuses me but also my parents using the worst possible base abuses in our native language. She threatens to kill me, hits me if i react to her abuse, has beaten me up om 3 to 4 occasions. We don’t seem to have any forums for abused parents in our country. Every minute of the day is torture. She treats us like servants ordering us around and we do things to keep peace but there is no peace. She is completely the opposite in front of outsiders. She hates most of our relatives. She has this fake superiority complex because i sent her to an upscale 5 day week boarding school to get her away for sometime. I had no other boarding school options at that time. Instead of improving things have gotten worse since then because she has chosen the worst possible friends...hell

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      Terence Bolton 

      4 months ago

      this government is absolutely pathetic,they have taken away most of a parents rights to discipline their children,i am a single parent,my daughter is out of control,there is no support for me,i am not listened to,i am being abused by my daughter,what about my rights?

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      Long Lasting Effects 

      4 months ago

      Am I suffering from PTSD? This is the question that runs through my mind as I read this article. I have reread it several times today, I am finding solace that others have been though similar traumas as myself with their own children. I love my child, we have cared for him and gotten him the proper help when necessary, and now this Young Adult Child is now continuing the abuse but in rather different ways. He is thriving into adulthood and this fact I am proud of. It's a shame really, for your own off spring to turn against you like a ravenous fox with rabies. Especially when you give this child love, care, understanding, and so forth. There seems to be a lack of respect when respect was taught, a lack of emotion when emotion was taught, and a lack of relationship, when relationship was always most desired. I was not the best of parents, but I tried incredibly hard to be the best parent that I knew how to be. In fact with him, I tried even harder because of the early tantrums he exhibited and my oldest child suffered because of it. I sought parenting class, parenting books, and many more things to make sure that I helped develop a child that was responsible and respected us. I often ask myself, Where did I go wrong? I can't pinpoint a particular instance or time that caused the rift between us both, but at some point he must have thought I no longer protected him. I miss the relationship that we should have. We as parents are supposed to guide our Adult Children into the next Chapter of their lives. Yet, I do not have this luxury. I have other children, they are unabusive and well adapted. Our relationships are beautiful relationships with our other children. I think all the children suffered at his abuse, not because he abused them but because they watched him abuse us. I wish things were different with him. We have extended family members too, that influenced his thought patterns. Many of those damaging words from extended family have unraveled over the past few years. I am baffled at how it affected his relationship with us. People he admired spouted off lies that he believed about me. Then he lost all respect for me along the way. Somethings he has admitted to us about certain events that happened, but they did not happen at all or they did not happen the way he said. Once we confronted that to him and he stated that it didn't matter because this is his reality. This is confusing to me, and it seems like created lies to make him forget all the times he was horrible to us. To be honest, All I truly desire from this young adult is a true relationship, and honor and respect for being the best parent I could be, that I strived to be, Love, and to be able to pour into his life the stuff I learned from rather he takes it or leaves it behind I do not care. I feel like he has stolen my ability to mold him as a child, to guide him as a teenager, and to love him as an adult. A parent is supposed to love their child with a deep affection, unfortunately I feel a lot of misery from his attitude towards us. I often grieve the missed opportunities that was stolen from us as parents. Thank you for your bravery to write this post. Is there a Facebook page as mentioned before? How is your relationship now with your child? Are they adults as of yet?

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      grandma 

      5 months ago

      This is so helpful, I thought I was the only one, I get abused by my granddaughter.

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      Unsure 

      5 months ago

      I am married to a wonderful man. Between us, we have 6 boys. We have 3 teenagers. 13, 17, & 18. The 13 and 17 yr olds F-bomb me a lot. The 17 yr old won't go to school the 18 yr old dropped out. We can't get the 3 to even clean their rooms without them yelling at us. The 13 yr old has self-medicated with weed. He has stolen money, the liquor that we keep in our bedroom. He will climb to get it. Every time we confront him we get F-bombed like we just did something wrong. We barely touch the liquor that we have put up. I bought it 3 days before Christmas and still have some left. I don't know what to do or how to help my 3 teens. Sometimes I feel that we are being held hostage because the 17 yr old will start others step-siblings when he is told no. Unsure what to do

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      vicki 

      5 months ago

      my sister isn't well and she is a single mum with a 10 year old girl,the girl is escalating from verbal abuse to physical abuse over the past two weeks , her mother is currently being diagnosed with a rare not terminal brain condition,her child only yesterday started messing up her meds seemingly trying to overdose mum then takes all meds out of boxes mixes them all up!!! can my sister get help anywhere ss or schools? just yesterday girl hit head teacher aand expelled,what can they do?

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      Help me please 

      6 months ago

      My 22 year old son bullies me and has done for approx 6 years now.i am a single mother with no other children.he constantly talks to me like I'm shit I don't even get out of bed anymore.i really want to throw him out but he has no friends and no where to go.he won't go to work or sign on and asks me for money constantly.he never leaves the house.im scared of him and have no idea what to do about it,I'm nearly at the end

      My heart is broken.anon uk

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      April 

      6 months ago

      I have two kids that have put me threw hell since elementary age. There father does help at all not even financially. They punch holes in my walls in my home, throw and break thing, scream and yell at me even have hit and kicked me. One child is 13 sneaking out the window being sexual active. My 15 year old sneaking around smoking cigarettes and weed. They are both go to mental health services. It doesn't work. I can't handle it. I call the dad and all he says is what do you want me to do about it?? I asked could he take one and he said no. I have raised them in a good environment. They are out of control. I'm on the verge of signing them over to the state.

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      Matth321 

      6 months ago

      Some of the comments here relate to a situation I am trying to understand and resolve on behalf of a parent.

      Have a look at Borderline Personality Disorder.(BPD)

      Many of the comments and situations may be due to a child having this condition...

      I’m readind a book walking on eggshells ... it is making a lot of sense and is helping...

      Good luck be strong !

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      Krisfa 

      6 months ago

      I need help my 4 year old boys are dangerous and has tried killing their baby sister how do i get help

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      Anonymous 

      6 months ago

      I have adult boys who have hit choked and put me down for years but they grew up around domestic violence toward me and them. But they also beat and control girlfriends too. I am afraid of my kids and my boyfriend. I tried counseling for my kids before they turned 18 but it didn't help. I love my kids I want them to get help. I just don't know what to do.

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      Karen 

      6 months ago

      I have been emotionally and verbally abused by my daughter since she was 12. She’s 21 and continues to hurt me emotionally and really brings a lot of negativity into our family. I keep hoping for a change but it never happens. I’ve been trying to get her the right kind of help she needs for years but have had no luck with therapy. And now I’m crying incidents she’s an alcoholic. I’m so depressed. She’s so resentful toward me and ironically I’m the one who worries about her the most. I feel this is going to be my life... will never change. I come from a loving family and my other three girls are so loving. I just don’t understand this.

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      Tammy 

      7 months ago

      I’m writing this with blurry, tear filled eyes. I had my daughter arrested tonight for abusing me. My heart is so heavy right now. It’s been going on for years. I blamed myself for not having a back bone but, I tried to help her with counseling and I even took a parenting discipline class, to learn how I might do things better for both of us. I told her time and time again that, This was the last straw and I would call the police if she did it again. Well, tonight was the last straw. She’s 19 and this is not how I seen her future to be. I’m so damn torn right now. I always swore I would be the parent that protects and helps her children. I feel like such a damn failure. Thank you, for the article. I get it about everything you wrote, it just doesn’t make it any easier.

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      Melinda 

      7 months ago

      My daughter is 23 I put my ex husband in prison for 20 years for getting my daughter pregnant she miscarriages they got the baby out of the toilet and buried it in my back yard my daughter has had 2 babies with a sex offender she left dec6th 2016 just came home in October she has told me she has a drug problem she has lied to me so much I can't believe anything she says everything that comes out of her mouth is so hard at times I go to court soon for full custody I pray that they don't give her the kids back I just feel like she is trying to get clean but no professional help as a parent I feel like I don't know her anymore I was always scared of drugs so therefore I don't know any thing about them she tells me I need to learn I tell her I don't have time her kids keep me busy tonight got bad and she tried to blame me for what happened to her but at the same time it's very hard for a parent to sit in a room full of cops and detectives and watch your child make porn movies for your husband not to mention ever since I had him locked up she talks to me the same way he did it's very hard being a parent really bad when you teach your child if anyone touches you improperly you have to tell me I really thought my daughter and I was so much closer the everyday pain is so bad she did come to my house breaking things I did call the law went to court they gave her 10 days I just don't know what else to do

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      Lucia Cardoso 

      7 months ago

      My oldest son verbally abuses me and calls me names which make me sick to the core. My younger son instead of saying this is not how you should talk to our mother instead has told me I’m dead to him and has spent the past week ignoring me. They stay with a family member who perpetuates their behaviors by always telling them they are right and that she will support them. Both refuse to sleep at home and despite my efforts they keep judging and criticizing me for everything. Hatred in its deepest form is manifesting in my family and I don’t know what to do. My husband is no help and shies away from confrontation and feigns off my heartache with “not again”. I’ve cried so many tears the heartache shows on my face. I’m glad for this article and to know that I am not alone. Thank you for your words of inspiration.

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      LeAnne Leblanc 

      7 months ago

      Hi ,my boys one age 30 and youngest is 26yrs old ,first I like to mention the primary yrs of their life’s I was there but at the ages of 11 and 15 I ended up being have gotten an addiction and lasted 10 yrs from start to finish and now with 10 yrs sober and I have repeatedly apologize for this as they ended up living with their abusive father and being mentally and physically abused,I have regrets about my life that drive me suicide but my boys have been back in my life and seemed well until now my youngest is now mentally abusing me and not physically but mentally although I sometimes feel I deserve it, I have spoken with other ppl who say lock him out it’s been happening for 5 yrs now and I have let him live with me until it’s so bad I do nothing but cry . I no longer let this go on .but he just showed up and stays until I loose it then abuse all over and he works and pays nothing and I’m on fixed income ,I can’t do this anymore but I have managed to stay sober and don’t get me wrong I don’t think by any means my problem of parenting I am responsible for this but what can I do

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      J. Wynder 

      7 months ago

      My 13 year old has threatened to kill me and pulled a knife on her respite worker. She is incorrigible. She had a waiver for 2 years and the State canceled it after I complained about her assigned social worker. She has destroyed countless items in my home and other family members home. I feel trapped in my own home as I have to sleep with my bedroom door locked. Parental abuse is Real!!!

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      Dieumene Limage 

      7 months ago

      Please tell me what I should do. I am in fear of my 15 yr old. She has became very rebellious and violent. She busted the windows to my house. I've called the police but they refuse to help me. She's made false accusations towards her father regarding abuse. They now gotten dcf involved and to tell you the truth I want them to take her because she's made threats that she is going to kill me. I have 4 other children to raise. I don't want to hurt her and go to jail and I don't want her to kill me. I am begging fir some answers please

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      Terrence R. Kiellman 

      8 months ago

      FIRST: When did congress or the senate for that matter enact a child constitution? I didn't get that memo. What rights? They have no freaking rights! Its LIBERAL RAG papers like the Huffington Post who make these kids believe they are some kind of adults.

      OK... My daughter Shaina is a master manipulator, a savant in mind f... she is a narcissistic sociopath just like her mother and their entire family. Biggest bunch of lunatic criminals on the planet. They care nothing for the law, rules, order, nothing. My daughter has seen this and treats me the same way my ex wife does. Extremely verbally abusive, physically abusive, (I mean I could throw this kid through a wall, along with her mother and grandmother) I am just not going to jail for her. I control my mind not my mind controlling me. Trust me, I SNAP in my mind lol. She recently turned 18 and you have to really thank the wanna be governor, and the entire liberal NYS Legislation for their MORONIC ways at looking at taking care of children. These people are the biggest DUNCES... I mean really. 18 you can do whatever you want, you don't have to listen to your parents, you can come in the house any time you wish, (hows 4 am)? in the streets of Brooklyn, NY. I mean we SHOULD RISE UP and take these bastards on! If you are 18 years old and REQUIRED to live with your parents, then there should be some LAWS involved don't you agree? How do you make a kid listen to you when they don't? That's insane. Oh, you whoop their ass you go to jail. Oh yeah in feminist NY a man hits a woman he is going to jail. I do not condone touching women but these kids they need a SMACK! The state should have a place that if your kid misbehaves you call them up and they take them away. Bring them to the filthiest disgusting worst food on the planet place, that in 30 days, they are MODEL children. Liberals are ok with KIDS having sex at early ages, and its disgusting how we allow this pedophile pimp Mark Zuckerberg to pimp out our children on his disgusting site allowing them to post disgusting vile pictures of themselves and us fathers simpy have to eat it! How many fathers reading this would love to see Mark and all his other peds snap chat, reddit, hung by a lamp post where we could beat them like a Pinata!

      Then you have these degenerate parents. The mother of my daughters boyfriend permitted her to be in her sons basement apartment for 90 days, 90 days of not telling me, talking to me, make me aware, or anything. The woman drove my daughter up to my front door and never asked to meet me! 90 days of this little pervert having sex with and OMG so much more in his private F den! Oh but you have to hand it to her, she finds a boy who's father is a detective in the SVU. NYS Penal law Article 130 130.20 ASK any father in this state they know it like the bible! You should read it... How its written, like I said MORONS! and his son has my daughter at 16 in his basement! I ORDERED this woman to keep my daughter OUT her house and she absolutely refuses!

      For liberals... Yes my daughter is 18 but she has the mentality of a 12 year old! She watches Hannah Montana and Comfy Couch! She is 18 years old and still in 10th grade! She does absolutely NOTHING like an adult, and mental is key not physical.

      I have an 18 year telling me to go F myself on a daily basis, walks in ANY time she chooses, 4am, 3am 2am on WEEKDAY! I won't lie I want to STRANGLE this kid! Especially, when I am mad at her and she is EXTREMELY nasty!

      Just to show you how this state is, FEMINIST... My daughter was physically hitting me, throwing things at me, smacking me in the face, calling me the most vile names, and she went to punch me in the face and restrained her. She told a social worker this and they called ACS on me. So, I was supposed to allow this kid to hurt me...

      As for calling the police? LOL! I called the police and they said there is nothing they can do, she is 18 she can do whatever she wants, and I can't throw her out.

      Ever since she met this little bastard out relationship has been eviscerated. He cheats on her left and right and she still goes back to him! He is a little freaking pervert who has sex with girls on school stairs and films it! If this kids father wasn't a cop I would have broke his face a long time ago, and put the mother in therapy!

      We as parents have allowed the system to STEAL our children away from us, making us POWERLESS to do anything, we need to STOP being AFRAID and MAKE THEM ACCOUNTABLE!

      PS: It doesn't help when I have NO support, especially, from the sociopath other side... They tell her she can do whatever she wants. They tell me she should have no rules! I have had ACS CPS in my life for 13 years. My ex is a child abusing and heroin addict, and with every complaint these bastards come after me! I do not do drugs, drink, smoke, nothing. Heres a fun fact. My daughter (youngest) when she was 7 years old was raped and molested by a man my ex wife had orgies with, 7 years later we found out through a diary. When Shaina addressed it with her mom and grandmother they said this " Oh its no big deal, he just put it on her! " No big deal some fat pedophile 45 year old freak put his C**ck on a 7 year old!!! You ever see Shameless? My inlaws The biggest bunch of low life degenerate criminals. ALL protected by SC and its agencies!

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      Dave Goodrich in Iowa USA 

      8 months ago

      I am 66 and my wife is 63. She had a stroke a few years back and lost a leg last year. After reading your posts I knew I was not alone. Out 17 year old son has been abusing us for years . He is our grandson and we adopted him when he was 10. He has lived with us since he was two. He hits me, calls us everything in the book and refuses to do anything we say or ask. It is so good to know that we are not the only ones suffering.

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      Diane 

      8 months ago

      I am 66 years old and have guardianship of my now 18 year old niece. She has stolen my credit card and used. She steals money from me and is verbally abusive. Tonight she said to satay awake because she will slit my throat. No one will help. She says I have to evict her from my home which she has destroyed. Why do I have to live like this?

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      Jamie Roberts 

      8 months ago

      My son is 14 y ars old and suffers from oppositional defiant disorder and autism. I try everything I can as a parent to help my son but have medical issues that have been making it harder to handle him as he has gotten older and bigger then me. He has a social worker and is on a waiting list for crisis services. He has other workers that come in my home and try and help him also. With all of this it doesn't stop him from beating my younger son as well as myself when he gets mad. I have reported bruises and bite marks from him and no one cares. Well last night he was threatening to kill my younger son and make me watch and then kill me before he kills himself. I called the police and they came to my home to get him, they called his social worker and hospital he goes to and I was told they had a bed for him there. It took 2 police officers to get him out of my home as he fought them (not as bad as he does me though) and they put him in the police car. The officer said because my son was 14 I had to follow them to the hospital to have him admitted. While there with him the headache I had been dealing with all day turned into a full blown migraine! I was light headed and ready to pass out, my fiancé went to get me the nurse who said they wouldn't help me because they were there to help my son and if I needed to be seen I needed to go out front and check in myself for medical attention. My fiancé got me a wheelchair because I was so dizzy I couldn't walk and wheeled me out to front window of the ER. While waiting this nurse comes out and tells me that they don't have a bed for my son so I need to take him somewhere else! Mind you the police brought him there because they had a bed for him there when crisis called them! I said I can't do that cause I couldn't even bring him there and now I need medical attention myself. The nurse then said if I do this that they need to call Child protection on me because I will be in a different room from my son so I better choose what I want to do and I said call CPS! I can't do this anymore! They made me wait in the waiting room in pain hyperventilating until I finally just said I want my son I'll just take him home and if we all die we die! Well then they brought me back and asked me what do you want us to do we don't have a bed for him, at this point I screamed that they needed to treat my fuckin migraine because my head hurt so bad I couldn't stand all of this. They had police come to stay with my son and took my blood pressure finally which was 190/106! The dr came in and said I see you suffer migraines regularly what can I give you to help so I told him and that's what he gave me and the pain got a bit better. Well the nurse asks your history and also if you are being hurt or threatened but anyone in you home and do you feel safe there? I said NO I don't because of my son and what he does to us all! The police came in and said well he has to go home and you can't drive him so the police took my homicidal suicidal son home to my 21 year old daughter and younger son while I was still in the emergency room! I got home an hour later and he was sleeping and everyone was safe for now. I didnt sleep well worried we would all be dead by morning. The worst part was that they were willing to charge me with child abandonment if I had left him at the hospital so instead they sent him home knowing he could kill us all and himself. I'm so lost right now I don't know where to turn.

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      Lori 

      8 months ago

      Excellent article with excellent support links. Thank you so much. I am not writing personal details here but this sensitive and empathetic article helped me if only to totally make me feel that someone understands what I am going through.

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      Neva for my friend Carrie 

      8 months ago

      Idk what to do for my friend who's 11 and 10 yr old sons abuse her daily. The 11yr old physically hits kicks bites pulls her hair tells her to shut up and calls her nasty names. He the 11yr old has cursed at me and threatened to hit me and I dared him to! I so wanted to tell him go ahead and make my day! I wanted to beat his ass for seriously hurting his mom my friend who asked for my help making it my business. My man doesn't want to get involved nor do many others. Well I am one of those who will not stand on the side lines! Idk what I or she can do. This is horrible to witness and feel so helpless. What can I do for her? I fear for her safety. Yes they all get useless counseling as it seems. They attend church too. This is a serious matter please help me help her. Ty

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      Charlotte 

      8 months ago

      My 15 year old Stepdaughter steals (money, clothing, my car-no, she's not licensed, etc.), she lies regularly, smokes pot in the house, has friends over at all hours, leaves trash all over the house and ignores me or refuses to be in the same room unless she wants something. My husband (married two years) has had full custody of her since she was eight and for whatever reason, he will not tell her no or hold her accountable for any of her actions. I don't want to leave my marriage (Other than her toxicity, we are happy together). Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

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      A sad Mother 

      8 months ago

      I am so happy that today, I finally decided to use Google and found this page. I thought truly I was the only one being abused in so many forms. I had to get a restraining order and have my daughter removed from my home and I have not see her in 4yrs, BUT, I still am the brunt of her now thank God verbal abuse. 3 days ago I put my foot down and my wall of self preservation up, we have not had any contact. I feel finally like I can breath, that maybe my life will have some meaning and I will have happiness, the weight is gone. The lies she has spun about me are mind boggling !! And now she is close as to chums can be with her bio father, whom she has not had an ounce of contact with during her entire childhood due to his drug and alcohol addictions , other than the countless times he sued me for silly things. Sadly, she was passed down his fuck up mind trait. He is now sober, or so he says, really I could care less. Well, it felt good to get some of this out, my story is long and horrid, as are many of yours. I am grateful that I have had this chance to "get it out" and will return. Thank you all, you are all loved and mean something to someone and deserve to love yourselves. Peace for now.

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      steph 

      8 months ago

      i have suffered as well at the hands of my daughter i too thought i was alone thats why i started a webpage on Facebook to try and raise awarness of this issuse i have not posted as much as i need to do to life situations i am trying to get better at it the webpage is called "Parental Abuse" feel free to look at coment post pictures what ever need a place to sound off i will try to get better at getting back at people

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      Jane Cook 

      8 months ago

      My 14 year old son has attacked me and hit me im devastated what do i do ive never felt this pain

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      MaggieMay 

      8 months ago

      My son is 23 years old, hasn’t worked for 18 months, pays nothing towards the bills yet everyday he is verbally abusive to me, demanding money and unless I give it to him he will shout and call my names, I’m always vile, that’s his favourite word for me, sometimes I’m a fat ugly disgusting vile but normally vile is his word to describe me. His verbal abuse is daily now from money to food to this or that Infact anything can kick him off. He has my house a disgusting mess, sleeps on the settee and when I get in from work at 8.20pm from a 13 hour shift at work I creep upstairs just so I don’t wake him. He will at some point wake me up when he wakes up, it may be 11pm it may be 2am, often I’m lazy he says because I haven’t done any house work even though I enter the house in darkeness because putting a light on will awaken him to start the abuse towards me. I kicked him out once and 4 months later he was back I was stupid to believe he had changed but within days the abuse was back, sometimes not as bad, but 2 years later he is worse than ever. I really don’t know how I function, how I get through those 13 hour shift on limited sleep, sometimes it’s a blessing to be at work because there he can’t insult me or cause me upset. I need to get away as my health is being affected by him, I’m 52 years old. I feel all alone in this dark abusive world, yes I tell close people what’s happening but I’m just so alone in the suffering.

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      carol 

      9 months ago

      My neighbors son is about 10 years old.he loves saying the f word.his mother doesn't say or do anything about it.plus,I haven't seen him go or come home from school.i know the mom doesn't homeschool.ii don't talk to them but they r sure loud.everybody on our street can hear them.what act can I take and still be the unknown person?

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      Susan Rankin 

      9 months ago

      Finding this page has helped me calm down. My son is an adult. If he leaves my house, I will be forced to pay bedroom tax on 2 bedrooms. He gets so angry and verbally abusive. I have called the police a few times but my son told me, they told him I was wasting their time ! I am in a horrible trap.

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      Gina R. 

      9 months ago

      I am ddrd

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      Suzie 

      9 months ago

      My 28yr old daughter has emotionally & verbally abused me for yrs,it has been a constant very exhausting battle for me. 5yrs ago very 1st time she physically abused me, which left me very broken & hurting deep inside. But I would just act as normal in front of pple. Abt 2,mths ago she moved into our home with my 2 grandkids. My daughters name is also on house title. The day she moved in,it's been pure hell with her continuous emotional & verbal abuse at me. Her name calling & always putn me down. Her threats on my life telln me she will slice my throat,put me 6ft under n telln me to go kill myself. Then she is ok for abt 1wk or so then bang it's on again. It's like she turns into another personality. Which has contributed to my depression n suicidal thoughts more severe. Then other day she physically attacked me,u cld see it in her how much she wanted to inflict pain on me. I finally had enough n got enough courage to go to the police n filed a report. Im exhausted protecting my abuser n suffering in silence. I can't bring myself to file charges. She is my daughter. Good thing is Ive stood up for myself & no more suffering in silence ☺bad thing is I can't live in my own home no more ,need to find new home & that's not easy. Like I said to my friends that I'd rather live our on the streets than keep living the everyday hell that i live.

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      Kristi 

      9 months ago

      I have a child with many diagnoses and need help..IS there a website on fb we all can talk on so we can exchange stories and maybe get some kind of he p or relief..TY

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      Alex 

      9 months ago

      Have you considered including links as text, where the "." is replace by the word in brackets (DOT):

      Eg. xyzwebsite(DOT)com

      Another useful way to lead folks to sites that might help is to share specific search terms that flag sites on Google for instance.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and support.

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      Lucy 

      9 months ago

      My son is 25 and I have suffered first verbal and bullying and it turned to physical abuse. I have start fighting back with the law. I got me an protection order. I had to pray and ask God to take my child off my heart and start thinking about myself. He has always said he hated me wish I was dead, constantly threatening to kill me and I believe him. You think everything is okay , but he will turn on me. I have to watch what I say or do.

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      Nicole 

      9 months ago

      I have a autistic child qith aggression i am always there for her . But she is nice until u say no. I have been pushed In front of a car .hit while driving called a bitch she says fuck you. Excuse my language i have had dislocated fingers hair pulled.i have bought so many things for her out of love but i feel she doesn't care . she demands things .there is always something if i don't do what she wants i will get struck . she is 211 pounds and i weigh120 i love her i take care of her basic needs . I feel unappreciated. She is 15 .

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      Marie sawdy 

      9 months ago

      I got punched in the face today,spit on, kicked, punched and called names. That was just today. I've been bitten multiple times to the point of almost drawing blood. I've been kicked in the stomach and repeatedly hit. I've had rocks thrown at my head. Pinched n clawed. I've been hit with objects to the point of bruises. This is just the last few weeks. This is being done by a 9 year old that has bipolar disorder, ADHD, extreme anger problems, verbally abusive and the list goes on. This is my boyfriend's daughter. His 10 year old son is in the process of being diagnosed bipolar and adhd. He is extremely verbally abusive towards me. I've been called a cunt, bitch, dumb ass, stupid, fuck face, lier, whore and more. I am strong but how much more do I have to take......

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      Dave M. 

      9 months ago

      I am 13-14 and after accidently back-handing my big sister, I can say I am an abusive child, I call people names when angry and are constantly paranoid maybe it's not as severe as the cases and comments below me,

      but thank you for showing me that I'm just a prick, not a normal teenager and need help. Cheers

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      Julie Whyte 

      10 months ago

      Dearest All, who are going through abuse at the hands of your children. I hope the information I have listed below helps you because it has helped me. Much love to you All.

      Luke173ministries.org

      Cutting ties, knowing when it's time to walk away.

      By Reverend Renee Pitteli

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      Looking for solutions 

      10 months ago

      Thank you ... it really helps just to hear I am not alone and to recieved a hug

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      Nat 

      10 months ago

      My 13 year old has been abusing me taking drugs I have had to leave two jobs due to coming home to a household of girls smoking weed eating all my food, I then got social services to put her in a rest bite for 30 days as I'm in Australia and all my family are in the U.K. And won't look after her and she even smashed their house up and still leaving and then getting high, I don't k ow what to do they have said I either bring her back home after 1 week or foster care! I love her so much and do t know what to do!

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      Mag 

      10 months ago

      My Son who is 19 will spit at me name calling hit me break my belongings will take no responsibility for his actions and I have suffer this since he was 14 I don,t think he will ever change to me we will go several weeks where we get along then he will go back he then tells me its my fault he was spoilt as a child and still likes to get his own way he will tell me I am not his mother only a birth mother these are very hurtful he will lie to me and then say I am the lair he will blame me for everything so he looks good he is just a bully and as a mother I cannot take it I have thought of throwing him out of my home but he as not where to go he is also very secret about his friends he will never bring them to my home when I read the comments I as a mother can relate to this and we do suffer in silence when I go out I put on a happy face but inside my heart is breaking.

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      Mi-Ly-A 

      10 months ago

      We went thru this with my oldest, who is now 20 and spending time in County for stealing a car.

      Many years of lying and stealing- he would/will steal anything not nailed down. Went through Psychologists, counselors, juvenile justice system.

      His younger brothers felt the impact as other families would not allow their children around...until he was sent to a residential probation facility. As soon as the younger children could trust that their things would not disappear, they began to flourish. They had friends- it was amazing. Once discharged from the residential facility, he came home and stole/sold video game systems, games, whatever he could get his hands on. Then decided we were "too mean to him" ( he was 18 by this point), and moved in with his father an hour away.

      He then was arrest for stealing from his job, broke into his disabled grandmother's house and robbed her ( she pressed charges), broke into the other grandparents home ( they did not press charges - " he's already in so much trouble"). Then he stole a car and went on a high-speed police chase.

      Somehow, he only got 6 months for this. I have had to make the tough choice to not allow him back into my home once he is released from jail. I can't put myself or my other children through it.

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      Lorraine 

      10 months ago

      My son who I am now 18 physically assaulted me in my home when he was banging on rented home walls after having had punched two doors in the home I have yet to repair. I am a single mom and during my sons 10th grade he had a girlfriend who lied and said she was pregnant because he broke up with her. He didn't know how to cope since people were treating him bad at school. I had to deal with his outbursts at home. His father answered I do not get along he has 6 kids going on his 4th marriages he never paid child support and never ever wanted to help my son. He turned my son agianst me k owing I am the only one who ever helped him. Well getting back to aug 14 2015 a day I will never forget my son banging on walls punching I had to make him stop I put him against the wall and yelled at him then like a monster he started punching me Amanda choking me out. I had to go to hospital my family urged me not to press charges and that was a huge mistake. I had internal ear bleeding black eyes my capillaries red from the assault. I had a nurse yell at me for not telling it was a horrible experience I was so alone and confused and the abuse didn't stop there it continues for the next year the bullying more house damage all because I listened to family members that never helped me. I had to get on medication and seek therapy while my perpetrator walks scot free. I'm the victim and I have to live this way with a person no one wants. Ive contemplated taking my life but I'm a coward and I worry for my daughter who I a kind. This is a horrible way to live and I pray the laws change because as more damage has happened to home and police comes he never gets arrested even now that I am willing to have him gone. I pray this generation gets help ans the media makes parental abuse awareness this is not the way anyone should live my son needs counseling and refuses to get it. All the policemen tell me to do is to evict him! Are they kidding with a Person who almost killed me!!! Insane!! I pray for all of us victims every day that these monsters leave us alone and may be gone to find their peace without us

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      Anabel1234 

      10 months ago

      My eldest daughter is now nineteen, been in care since 12 years old - adopted at 5, now knowing that the big problem with her was "attachment disorder".

      Now she is care for adult over 18 - she is now bored and wanting to be back home with her younger sister who is 17, me and dad. The motivation on her part is to rule the house, slob about, having me as the slave and to try to corrupt her younger sister, last I heard when she lived with us was her telling her little sister to hit me. Always looking for dramas and an exiting life. Her exitement being, argue, fight, throw tamtrums and get a big audience where ever she can find it.

      What a great lucky escape I had. Cannot immagine what my life would be now if I would have to have lived with her these past seven years. Very different, depressed, exhausted and possibly suisidal. The only reason I got a long awaited respite was because I am not married. I adopted the two girls and my partner did not. So thankfully, because he would no longer have her under his roof, bye bye. Bliss - thank god. Anyone out there considering adoption in Britain, be very careful, some of these kids can absolutley ruin your life. I was lucky with the youngest child, but only because she was not influenced by her big sister. She was in a home for 11 to 18 year olds for 7 years, causing mahem and thinking she was a big fish in a small pond. She now has a flat, has two very kind but strict carers, ex prison officers and is looking to hit base at my peacful home to cause havoc. Dream on, aint going to happen. Xmas is comming up, that will be a pub meal then, dont even will let her have our new address. The last one she new about, spent 2 days there and left stealing her sisters stuff and swearing ect. Resovoure is totally dry, not looking to refill, tired of trying to clear out the slime.

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      David 

      10 months ago

      Sick to death of being abused

      Sick to death of being Humiliated

      Sick to death of being thrown pushed shoved threatend

      Sick to death at being kind loving gental thoughtful. Iam always their for them .i took them in when they had nothing. I gave them everything i had..

      My reward is i hate kids now. Iam mean old tired of working my butt to the bone for young adults who never appreciated a fucking thing.

      Mostly iam 61 just had my birthday. AND I AM SICK TO DEATH OF BEING SHOVED AGAINST A WALL AND KNOCKED TO THE FLOOR. FOR DOOING NOTHING?

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      Annabel 

      10 months ago

      I have had a long respite from my eldest difficult daughter and really feel that I have had a very very lucky escape. I adopted 2 girls aged 3 and 5, they are now both 17 and 19.

      The eldest girl has been in care since the age of 12, kept running off, police and social services involvement. Not much help given either, offering temporary respite which would include short term foster care.

      However, the day she went into foster care, I felt that a backpack full of bricks was taken of my back and given to a dozen others - what a relief. When they talk about "disfunctional families" - my experience is that you take that One disfunctional person out of the family home -- you are Functional the very Next Day !!

      On visiting her in her care home, she was telling staff how she never went anywhere or did anything. So up went 20 hours of dvd footage regarding holidays, tenerife, lanzarotti, greece, Italy, spain, france, every birthday party she had, ice skating, swimming, camping ect. That was her first big lie uncovered.

      As this story unfolds, she never came back from foster care. My partner would not have her living under his roof and as we are not married and I was the sole adopter, that was basically our get out and keep our sanity clause !!. The youngest girl was constantly picked on by her big sister and she was beginning to becomme a real bad influence on her. I was totally exhausted and depressed, not really being able to look forward to years and years of monitoring her behaviour and having to deal with the unreasonable demands ect. ie: on the home phone all day, everything seeming more unsolvable because she has a low IQ, cannot even now read or write at 19 years old and not understanding the value of a pound coin.

      Forwarding to this recent past week, she has been placed in a care home for adults over 18 and has moved withing a 40 minute drive to where we live. She wants back in the house, recently calling me a bitch on a short caravan holiday and having to come home early from the holiday as she was fighting with her sister. We have just moved house and as a family we have decided not to let her have our address. Screaming obsenities outside the door and looking for a street audience is not far from what could happen and at a previous address whereby she came for a 2 day stay did happen. She has recently found and met her birth dad, she is now saying that in the past that I slapped her. What a joke, she did the slapping on around 3 occasions and I never slapped back. Because of this accustation - I have decided that if I ever do meet up with her for a meal or the park with the dog - that I don't really want to be alone in her company - as I do not wish to be further accused falsley of abuse. Given her history, she will try to instigate a scenario of self defence in order to make a confrontation happen.

      So for all the hard work you put in as parents over the years - this is your repayment. Thank god for the youngest girl. She is 17 now and has been a joy to raise. I do know for certain that if her oldest sister would have stayed and have been here since 12 years of age, my life would be nothing like it is now.

      Probably continuosly depressed, living in a constant pig sty, as she never cleanes up and considers others her personal slaves. Her younger sister would have followed suit and I would be looking at ways to vacate, sell up and leave them to it.

      The reality is that we have a great family set up, me my partner and Shannon. I am so greatful that I never married giving me a loophole to get rid basically. Sounds harsh, but hey, she had no consideration for this families feelings whatsoever. Years of help in a home which had the expertise to help her be socially acceptable and non violent failed, although every effort made. Now that she is 19 she is realising that no one cares anymore, not at the under 18 year old level of attention. She is bored where she is, finding it difficult to cause mayhem as no one is listening. So looking to restart it here with me. Her dreams are So Large !!

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      zn 

      10 months ago

      WOW... this article is spot on point! There is a normal amount of chaos associated w/ teenagers, you expect your boundaries as a parent to be tested...thinking "what does not kill you will make you stronger" is not the logic to have in this situation. At the first signs .. real signs that there is a problem get help.. get some counseling and not the state.. or police.. or schools. Try to find some resources they are hard to find.. if you have never had to look, mental and behavioral health care in the states is hard to come by.. its very costly and there are laws for minors that even prevent the police from taking action.. Your childs life is at stake.. you may think ...its no that bad, other kids act this way.. ect. The truth is the longer you wait to get help.. the harder it will be to reach them. I am speaking from 2 years of stay at home dad experience. Were a pretty typical home 2 parents 2 kids.. one 15 one 12... Our son the 15 year old has been on the steady decline for about.. the last 18 months.. it has all byt destroyed us.. running away, contantly.. started w/ normal stuf.. not cleaning room doing dishes chores..ect.. then school, then kicked out of school... then not going to new school then.. Breaking into cars.. which they got a hand gun from a backpack in a car.. .and robbed some 16 other cars.... he is now facing 14 felony charges of robbery with a fire arm... SO.. this kids went from xbox.. to robbing blocks in about 6 months flat or less.. the Progression was fast..fortunately Im only looking at upcoming court dates... not an coming funeral... im a step parent ... his mother has given up - she is at a total loss and devastated.. Everyday we end up fighting over his behavior.. and the results of his actions.. I have had to threaten to call 911 as my last resort when things escalate.. any damage to the house or threats of violence... CALL the police.. I hate to say that im not a fan.. of the cops but.. you cant do much else, they grow so quickly and in a world that is not forgiving ..stay steady w/your discipline.. DO NOT ENABLE there behavior.. remain calm.. and whatever you do.. respond to the REDFLAGS.. TRUST your instincts as a parent.. do research.. do your homework.. reach out to support groups ... No one else knows your child as well as you do.. and chances are if you stop fighting it...or feeding into it.. you can cope better. Loosing your cool.. your mind.. and your heart will not help the situation. Good luck.. many prayers one love! ~zn

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      rina 

      10 months ago

      I am 67 years and my son is on adult with children few years ago I suffered severe panic attacks I called my son because I was scared and I though I was going to die my son told me on the phone woman get hold of yourself, another time I called from the airport if he could pick me up and because I didn't say thank you he started to yell at me and told me that I should be thankful that he picked my ass from the airport I have helped with his own children on my day off I would go over his home and take care of my grandchildren and also when him and his wife go away for 3 days and day 3 children and they are well behaved

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      Dawn. 

      10 months ago

      Great article! Really hit home. I was consistently got, bitten,kicked, spat at. It was so hard my partner wouldn't believe his daughter was doing this. She is disabled and came to.live with us after traumatic experiece and after we found out a bad up bringing. I loved her and tried my best she became attached to me and obsessed. Even to the point she didnt want me sitting by or talking to her dad cus she said I should just be for her. My partner started believe once he saw the finger mark bruises on my arm and chest. She refused to do most anythings she was asked. Social services knew but they didn't care i was told to try to move out of the way! I'm disabled myself and needing an operation. Then the false allegations started first against at her dad then when i refused to leave him against me. Social believed her the abuse got worse. The allegations were investigated and were dropped but social still believed her. We had to place her in care partly for her as we cudnt manage, and to protect ourselves and our other child same age who saw it happening. 5 months on we still see her n I'm happier in some ways but the guilt I feel, the failure of not being able to help her, the family is so damaged we r clawing our way through this. I'm getting nighmares which I'm trying to work through. It really is awful that we have no support as the article says others get support for different things. I would love to have the strength to setup a self help group there must be so many people suffering in silence like i did. I was too embarrased to tell people except those so close to me. But when i finally did they were very supportive and reassured me it wasn't my fault. I hope you think about a fb page. I would be happy to be involved. Stay strong everyone.

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      Lacey 

      10 months ago

      I am a counselor and have been working with a mother/grandmother who is in crisis as her adult children choose to verbally abuse her. It is a very difficult issue when it's the children against an aging parent. This mother was verbally abused when she was growing up and her reaction to her own issues have spilled over on some of her children (not all of them). Her husband is not supportive of her and does not show any comfort to her. The only thing she can do is apply "tough love" and place the abusive children in the closet of her mind, and focus on the children who does respect and love her. We all go through estrangement of one kind or another with family, friends or co-workers. It is a human frailty to encourage us to feel better. Anyone can have a bad day, but when it becomes a constant in our daily lives, it is best to refocus our energies into something that we love to do. Issues usually tend to resolve themselves as they become like a stale slice of bread with no strong relevance for us, but can make a tasty treat for a bird. It reminds me of the quote of "time heals", but our own dislike/anger keeps it alive. You must heal yourself before you are worthy of trying to heal another. For everyone on here may God give you joy and a day worth living.

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