Child Custody Battles and Child Protective Services (CPS)
Parents Need to Work Together For the Good of Their Children Whether Married or Not
Don't Call Child Protective Services (CPS) to Try to Get Custody
Child Protective Services (CPS) wasn't created to help parents wrench custody from one another. The agency exists to remove children from situations where they're being abused, but once the kids are in CPS hands, parents have NO control over where they'll be placed.
This page explains the risk of calling Child Protective Services (CPS) during child custody battles.
Image: The Tragedy (1903) by Pablo Picasso. You can buy this print at AllPosters.com.
The proper place for a child custody dispute is in Family Court (Divorce Court) - not with a Child Protective Services (CPS) agent.
The Social Services Gestapo - They Destroy Families!
Janson Kauser, the author of this book, is not an angry parent.
He has worked as an attorney, a Guardian Ad Litem in Juvenile Court cases, a municipal court judge, and a police officer who investigated cases of child abuse and neglect.
From that perspective he wrote this book (his only book) to inform the public that child protective services (CPS) social workers have become corrupt and are wrongly destroying families in America.
In this book he explains your rights, including the fourth amendment right to refuse to allow government agents of any kind into your home without a warrant signed by a judge.
The book is really a booklet, 46 pages... well worth the investment to gain more knowledge on how to protect your rights and the well-being of your children.
When You Call CPS...
Divorced or separated parents often have child custody disagreements. Those that call Child Protective Services (CPS) on their ex's are often dismayed with very negative unintended consequences.
Likewise, grandparents who think they can get custody by calling CPS are often disappointed, and even traumatized when the children are given to strangers and all family ties are broken.
Child Protective Services caseworkers can play both parents or both sides against each other, put the child in foster care, terminate parental rights, and adopt children out to strangers! Beware!
The Best Custody Solution
The best way to deal with a child custody issue is to make friends with your ex so you can work together to make your child's future as happy and perfect as possible.
I know this is difficult for many of you, for a variety of reasons.
1. Don't try to keep the child all to yourself. It took two to make this child. Every child deserves both a mother and a father. Keep your child's best interests in your heart.
2. You may be hurt by what your ex did to you. Understandable. But that doesn't mean he or she should be cut out of your child's life. Put the child's needs first. Work on forgiveness issues. Share.
3. Your ex may be uncooperative. Read about joint parenting. Work on including that other person in your attempts to establish a harmonious and mature joint parenting situation.
4. Your ex may have abused you. If that's the case, a family court judge will have to make the decision on whether or not that person should have a role in custody or visitation. Respect the judge's decision, and abide by it. If you can't prove (and I mean PROVE) that the other parent is dangerous to the children, you may not have a case for keeping them from custody and visitation rights.
5. Admit to yourself that you are responsible for making the decision to create a new life with that other person. YOU are responsible. So take responsibility for creating a harmonious co-parenting atmosphere for your child to thrive in.
6. If at all possible, reunite with the other parent. A two parent family is the best thing for the children.
A Call to CPS is Like Opening Pandora's Box
A Warning to Separated or Divorced Parents in Child Custody Battles
...put your kids first!
Even if you're convinced you would be a better custodial parent than the other parent, I recommend you NOT call Child Protective Services (CPS) to try to keep the other parent from seeing your child.
File a child custody modification petition in Family Court (Divorce Court) instead! (And you had better collect a lot of believable evidence.)
CPS agents, sometimes called "social workers" though they may not possess a social work degree, can wreak havoc in YOUR life, cause trauma for you and your child, and turn a bad situation into something much worse.
Before You Make That Call, Read This!
Here's How It Happens
1. The CPS agent takes your call, listens to your complaints, and writes them down.
2. The CPS agent goes to visit the other parent. The other parent makes complaints about YOU. The CPS agent writes those down.
3. The CPS agent now has a case file hidden from both parents that contains allegations against both of you. They can drop the case or pursue it. If you're lucky, they drop it. If you're not lucky, they take you to court and / or make you complete "services". You have to deal with the fact that your life is no longer your own; you are being told what you must do by government agents. It is very unpleasant!
4. The CPS agent may make decisions that you believe are the wrong ones. Many parents who called CPS had their children taken away and given to the other parent. Some believe that complaining parents are "alienating" children from the other parent. They believe the habit of making CPS complaints is emotionally abusive to the children involved.
5. Worse yet, the CPS agent can decide that BOTH parents are pathetic and neglectful, and take the child to a foster home.
6. While the CPS case is open the parents have to complete a "service plan" that is anything but a service to you. It is used as a way to get more evidence against you.
7. After keeping children in foster care for 15 out of 18 months the CPS agent can petition the court to terminate parental rights in a TPR hearing.
8. After the TPR, your child can be adopted out to strangers.
9. States get bonus money from the federal government for adoptions, and adoptive parents get subsidy payments if they convince a doctor that your unhappy, traumatized child needs psychotropic meds and is therefore a "special needs" child. See: Drugging Foster Children.
Who Is Reading This Page?
Which of these statements pertains to you?
Learn Co-Parenting Rules
Get hold of a good co-parenting book and learn the rules of peaceful and happy parenting, even after separation or divorce. Your children are depending on Mom and Dad to make this all work out for the best. BE MATURE and do the right thing. Learn to get along with your ex.
People Who Call CPS to Complain About a Relative's Child Often Regret It
This is no way to handle a child custody battle. For the sake of the children, resolve to get along and make two happy homes for the kids.
Frequently I get comments at my site, Fight CPS, from parents or grandparents who called CPS thinking that they would get custody. However they constantly tell me how terribly things turned out, and how much they regret their decision to make that call.
Mainly it is the children who will suffer forever because their parents couldn't get along.
Have You Called CPS to Make a Report? (100% Anonymous Poll - You Can Be Honest Here)
Have you ever called CPS to file a report?
Do You Think CPS Social Workers Want to Hear Your Complaints?
CPS is NOT the place to resolve a custody issue. That's a family court matter. CPS isn't your short-cut to adjudication.
If you call to complain about your ex, don't expect that the person taking your call will like, respect, or even believe you. The CPS worker would also have to investigate YOU and may end up not liking you at all. There's no reason to think a call to CPS will help you get custody.
Over the course of my years as a CPS victim advocate, I've met and talked to many caseworkers online and off. Whenever the topic of parents who call CPS to complain about the other parent came up, they all had the same reaction - that it happens far too often and that the complaining parent is suspect. This is said usually in a manner that told me the CPS caseworkers didn't like or respect parents that used CPS to try to get a child custody advantage over the other parent.
Children are about ten times more likely to be abused in foster homes than in their natural family homes according to statistics gathered by the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS).
Your Opinion on Child Custody and Child Protective Services (CPS)
Should CPS help parents get child custody from one another?
No, that's not what CPS is for. Child custody cases should be decided in Family (Divorce) Court.
Is Your Ex a Jerk?
If you've got a custody battle going with an extremely difficult ex, consider getting this book for tips on how to end the power struggle, renegotiate your relationship, adjust your perspective, deal with denial, and end self-destructive self-talk...and so much more.
This book is highly recommended for people involved in difficult child custody battles.
More Co-Parenting Help
- Co-Parenting After Divorce
PDF file with advice for separated parents, from the University of New Hampshire.
- Co-Parenting 101
A blog about making a safe family for your child after separation of the parents, or divorce.
- How to Keep Children Out of the Middle
Maybe you could talk these points over with your ex and resolve together to do what's best for your child.