How to Tell Your Overprotective Parents You're Moving Out

Updated on October 17, 2017

Depending on your personality and how rebellious you are, breaking the news will vary from excruciating to just picking up your stuff and taking off without looking back. Chances are though, if you're looking online for advice, you're nervous about confronting your parents.

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Be Sure of Your Decision

Nothing is worse than setting off the parent bomb without thinking things through beforehand. Be sure that you are able to move out and that this is what you really want to do. It'll only make things worse if you end up having to come back at a later date because you weren't able to make it.

If you're moving in with a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend be sure that they are trustworthy and someone you can function with and be around most of the day. The point of moving out and being on your own is to improve your quality of life and to experience new things. You don't want to move from one negative situation into another.

One piece of advice is to have spent a few days alone together, in a hotel, at a family member's house and see how everything goes. Is your potential roommate clean? Were they courteous with their space and did they look after themselves?

If you need some sort of an excuse to test the waters, try finding an event that is a distance away from your house so it will force you to stay with your potential roommate. A film festival, a band, a mini vacations, etc.

Experiencing roommates in College dorms is also a good way to not only familiarize yourself with living with someone else, but it will also allow you to visit your parents (on school breaks), and the act of your going to college may also help alleviate their fears.

Don't Break the News Alone

If you're moving in with a roommate or a boyfriend/girlfriend, having them there for support will show a certain level of commitment that you're not alone in your decision to move out and might help remove some of the fear that you're parents will be feeling.

It's also nice to be able to talk back and forth and show your parents that you've thought about potential job offers and what you'll be doing to accomplish your goal together and how you'll have someone to support you.

Have a Plan and Be Ready to Defend Yourself

If you're parents are like mine, as soon as I broke the news to my dad, he immediately said "No, you're not." In which case I had to defend myself and tell him what the plan was, who I had talked to and that I would still have the connection and support of people in my creative industry. It was a risk that I was taking, but I was prepared and willing to see where the decision would take me.

When planning to move out, is your job going to be a permanent one or is it merely a step toward your dream job? Be sure to think about how long you want to commit to wherever you're staying.

For me, my move's time was limited to one year. Same with my internship. I gave it one year to do everything I could (build relationships, networking, finished projects for my portfolio), then I would move on and continue pursuing my career.

This helps avoid getting stuck in a dead end situation and also gives me a driving force to complete what I want to accomplish in a set time.

When you told your parents you were moving out, when did you tell your parents?

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Break the News to Your Parents Last

This might seem a little odd to some people, but for me, I found that it was easier and a little less daunting after talking to my friends and family before confronting my parents. You'll be able to talk about what you want to do, without an air of disdain or disapproval.

Ask for advice. Your friends and family will be able to tell you how it was when they left the house and hearing it from them will encourage you to make your decision.

If you're like me, someone who hates conflict, this is going to be a scary and new situation for you. You'll be glad to have the support and love of people you care about before you step into the ring with your parents. There's comfort knowing that you have the support of friends and family, especially if you know that your parents are not going to support your decision.

Other Factors to Consider

  • Boyfriend/girlfriend - how serious is the relationship? Can you trust him/her? Are you ready to commit to living together? What would happen if things go wrong?
  • Any animals you need to find homes for - do you need to find a home for pet? Who will take care of it? Are you taking your animal with you?
  • If either of your parents are sick at the time - if leaving at the moment is the right choice? What will you do if things get worse with them?
  • Leftover junk - how much stuff are your parents going to let you keep in the house if any?


Tell Mom or Dad First

If you're closer to one of your parents, it might help to tell one of your parents before the other so that you can test the waters. You might also be able to ask for help from whoever you're closer to on how to tell the other.

Have Realistic Expectations Before Confronting Your Parents

Ideally, you want to tell your parents with plenty of time so you can say your goodbyes and get your affairs in order. However, avoid any kind of unrealistic expectations in your head. If you have any past experiences with mistakes, you should have a general idea of how your parents will react.

Were they mad for a couple months the last time? Will they support you or give you the silent treatment? Will there be screaming and is there a possibility they will kick you out of the house?

Preparing for the worse will help keep your resolve strong. As much as I wanted to still be friends and have my mom like me, I knew that telling her that I was moving out, across states (and with my boyfriend to boot), would make her furious. Knowing this, I was prepared for the silent treatment and knew that my name would be mud for a couple months.

If you are moving in with a roommate, it's a good idea to bring them by the house for your parents to meet so they at least will know what sort of company you'll be in.

Understanding Your Parents' View

As much as you want to move out and no matter how it goes down, remember to look at it from your parents point of view. If you're the first child to move out, or the only one, it's no doubt going to be harder for you to break the news to them. The same is true if you're a girl, if you're moving in with a boyfriend/girlfriend or moving across states.

Make an effort to alleviate their fears by having a plan and thinking things over before you act on your decision. Be sure to let them know that you still love them and they're welcome to come by and visit.

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Advice I Would Give My Past Self

Don't wait as long to tell your parents. The anxiety and stress I had, could have been reduced significantly if I hadn't waited so long. It's better to not picture every possible horrible outcome then just getting it over with.

Have a better relationship with my parents. Growing up, I never felt close to either of my parents or that I was able to talk to them about big life decisions. I found more comfort and support from my friends and boyfriends' family and parents. As such, I don't feel like I picked the right words to express why I wanted to move out.

Good-bye Sentiments

  • Leave a picture frame with a good picture of yourself inside
  • Write a nice letter when you leave expressing how you'll miss them, if you're better at writing than talking about your feelings, this may be a good way for you to express your emotions
  • Buy a webcam so you can Skype
  • Promise that you'll keep in touch.

The Aftermath

After you finally move out, there's a possibility that one or both of your parents will need a little bit of a "cool down" period. Let them have their space and when you feel like you've given them some time, remember to try to be friends after the situation.

You can't choose who your family are, but they're important and are your biggest support system. And as annoying as it is, being overprotective just means that your parents care for you. It's a big life decision, not just for you, but for your parents as well.

What's Your Moving out Story?

How were your parents when you broke the news? If you have a story, feel free to share it below. How you approached the situation may help someone else.

Questions & Answers

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        Jae 

        2 weeks ago

        Hi guys. I'm 23 and have been with my bf for 6.5 years. The only thing that's stopping me is my strict stepfather. The last few times my older (3) siblings moved out it wasnt the best. The first one traumatized me (happened over 10 years ago but is doing well now) and the last two came back home. Ive told everyone else, but him and i'm trying to leave in a week at most. The thing that worries me the most is that he prevents me from seeing my mom and my sister and that's all i care about. Other than that i'm secure about my new home and the people I'll be with, I've just graduated from university and personally ive shown that i am responsible despite his doubts. I think that although he has doubted a lot about me, he still takes pride in me as a "good" daughter who has graduated and respects rules. I'm scared to tell him ad that it leads to i won't be allowed to visit my mom and younger sister and them vice versa for me. I'm hoping it ends well.

      • profile image

        JBere 

        2 weeks ago

        I've told everyone but my father and i'm truly scared because I'd want to visit but i dont think i can win this one. I really want to move out but the outcome of telling him scares me.

      • profile image

        Romanda H 

        4 weeks ago

        im 15 years old and is planning to move out when i am 18. how do i tell my mother?

      • profile image

        Renee 

        6 weeks ago

        Hey I need help because I want to move away from my mom and with my dad but I am only 15 years old. What do I do?

      • profile image

        Rose 

        2 months ago

        Hi I am 18 years old and I want to move out of home. I’ve tried running away from home and it didn’t go so well I came back the next day because I felt so guilty and it wasn’t the right time for me to leave my house and family. But now it is I’m graduating school in 40 days and I want to move out because my dad is really strict and I know if I stay at the house under his control I will end up leaving on really bad terms and I want to be more independent I already have a plan and sorted everything out but the only thing that is stopping me is confronting my dad. My dad and I are so close and I don’t want to break that relationship between us but when I tell him he will just look at it as I’m running away again any suggestions on how I can tell him without any conflict

      • profile image

        Charles R 

        2 months ago

        I’m 39, single, and am just about to move out in a month. We got a packed house now that family has moved back in due to financial reasons. I’ve loved my parents every step of the way. There’s no such thing as a silent ultimatum... but the reality is, I’m old and alone. I’ve studied and worked and saved my way to this point. It’s easier for me to do this now that I’m way past the point of when I should have left the house. And, if I wasn’t motivated to do so, I wouldn’t have ever moved. I would have contributed half my check to keep this household afloat. But when you know you want more than to be a care taker, and when you get off your cross and see how much everyone else is pursuing thier happiness, you realize: only I can fulfill my hopes. It’s helps you stand up and make your life fully yours. Accountable to only yourself, and then you can continue your development to wherever your happiness lies. Plan. Save. Execute.

      • profile image

        Santina Shrader, 

        2 months ago

        I have thought about moving out for about a year now and being scared to be disowned or a disappointment to my mom has haunted me...my dad is happy for me, him and my mom haven't been together since I was 2 and he was always easier to talk to, I always wanted a small home with animals in a certain part of Virginia and a few days ago I got it and I have 2 weeks to tell my mom its not far from her but she always told me I couldn't leave tell after collage, this is my senior year and to go to my collage and not pay out of state tuition I have to be a resident of Virginia and my family don't live far my grandparents, dad, aunts and uncles, friends, and great-grandparents live down the road. I have a job and all I have to pay is utilities. the woman moving out is a close family friend....I have asked so many people how I should do this or if I'm a bad person for leaving and everyone says you have to do it at one point yes she will be mad but she will come around but I'm so scared

      • profile image

        Diana 

        2 months ago

        I'm moving with my boyfriend, we have been together six years now, and we do intend to get married but in a couple of years so we can have some money for the wedding. My parents are struggling big time with the idea that their eldest daughter is moving out and they don't think I have a serious relationship (but the truth is that I don't wanna get married before 25 because I don't want to have kids now and in my family after someone gets married everyone starts to insist on babies) and my boyfriend accepts that and is willing to wait. They said I could move out under the condition that we were to get married in a year time and they even offered to pay for a huge part of the wedding. I appreciate that but I don't wanna accept their money specially if it's a destino I didn't make.

      • profile image

        S.Lewis 

        3 months ago

        So far its not going well, i live with my father, grand parents and aunt. I have a autistic brother, i just reminded them im leaving tomorrow. They are saying im running away but i dont see anything im running from. My dads neck and back have kept him from work, my younger brother is autistic, and we live in a small house...i figured theyed be happy that im trying to get out on my own...guess it doesnt help im moving to the other side of the country. I honestly wish i could just tell them im afraid i wont amount to anything if stay here...

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        Lucine Rawiya 

        4 months ago from S-

        I'm too scared of my parents to confront them. I can just see myself leaving to stay with a friend and then telling my parents I'm moving out. I feel like they'd lock me in my room otherwise.

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        Rebecca brown 

        4 months ago

        That's is a ungly picture and I hate that picture

      • profile image

        ana 

        4 months ago

        sigh... just a read a few of these post and it just makes me sad. im on the same boat! i have been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 yrs, i am 20 and he’s 22. hes a great boyfriend honestly and we go to the same college. i was doing community college until a semester ago when i transfered to the same college that my boyfriend goes to and i stayed at the dorms for that semester. however, not even halfway through the semester i was spending more time at my boyfriends apartment than i was at my dorm! and its been like that ever since. it just makes sense to move in together to save money and to help each other out. i mean, we are already doing it kind of. i havent even told my parents about me dating him because they are very traditional... no sex or boyfriends before marriage... and they want me to get my degree before i do anything with my life. i am a junior in college btw. plus they are kind of racist... and my boyfriend is black. i dont know how to tell them that i want to move in with him when they dont even know he exists. but i am just PETRIFIED of what they would do if i told them. i dont want them to stop talking to me or to forbid me from talking to my little sister (since i’d be a “bad” example for her). im tired of lying all the time and of them thinking so closed minded about my life and my decisions. i am more tjan ready to do this with my boyfriend. i have a job and i am doing AMAZING in school; im talking about 3.8-4.0 GPA amazing. im getting closer to finishing my degree and be someone for society. i just want to have my family on my side too... and to have my freedom. please send advice. cortezzana@gmail.com

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        Des 

        4 months ago

        Hi i’m 18 years old ,

        And I am moving out and into my boyfriends and moms house. She recently got a divorce so she wants someone to help around the house while she is at work all day. We’ve been together almost a year and are far more mature than both of our ages. He’s also 18. We’re attending the same college. Right now I live with my dad and brother in a 1 bedroom where me and my brother sleep in the living room. It’s very cramped and at my boyfriends i will have my own room. I don’t know how to tell my dad who is extremely overprotective about me because i just started living with him two years ago for the first time in my life. Any suggestions are helpful.

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        Katelynn 

        4 months ago

        @Marzely:

        I can totally relate. I'm Haitian too and the only daughter. So I get the overprotective thing. I'm 28 and my parents have not gotten any better. So I set up a furnished apartment and plan to move out this Friday. I haven't told them yet. I plan on telling them the morning of and see how that goes lol. I didn't want them to try and talk me out of it. I'm scared as hell.

        Good luck!

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        Sarah 

        4 months ago

        My older sister moved out when she was my age.. all because of mu father constantly yelling and blaming her for his faults. Now, years later, he's doing the same to me, mentioning me that I can leave if i ever "disrespected" him, and we sometimes argue, he gets so mad at every little thing that doesn't go his way. I wanna move out from him, but my passport hasn't been renewed.... help!!!

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        taken-cheerleader 

        5 months ago

        hi im 13 i know pretty young but i need help where i stay i get treated diffrent then other kids. My mom left me when i was 6 and gave me to my dad and i lived with him till age 11 so 5 years just me and him then my mom wanted me back but i didnt want to leave my dad so he gave me to my grandpa also know as papa so i went there it was so hard without my dad so 1 year past by i went to vist my mom in Alabama and my dad past away. Know i go home back to papas and then another school year past by and one day i went to the eldon pool and meet this great guy but he is 16 and im only 13 and he lives here and if i leave we might not get eatchother. I want to live with my mom tho. this is really hard i need help someone help me plz

      • profile image

        Marzely 

        5 months ago

        I’m 22 and my boyfriend is 23. He just bought a condo and I plan on moving in with him ASAP. My parents are Haitian and are super strict about not moving in with someone unless you’re married. I don’t see it this way. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years (on this Sunday) and I feel very ready to move in with him. My parents love and trust him which is great. I guess I just don’t know how to go about it. I want to move out because I’m ready. I just graduated with my bachelors and got a new job. I also plan on going to law school next year. My boyfriend works for national grid and so together we are financially stable to do this. Not just that I’m ready but my mother and I don’t have a good relationship. She has taken money from my account without my permission and even used my credit card more than once without my permission. Since then I’ve changed my accounts to avoid this from happening again. I feel like I’m a roommate in my own home instead of a daughter. I pay for all my bills myself, I buy my own groceries, I do my own laundry. I don’t count on my parents for anything. I can’t wait to build a life with my boyfriend. What I’m more so worried about is how to tell my parents and how they will react about it. I’ve always been so scared to tell my mom things and so this is going to be very hard for me. Feel free to email me with some advice!! xomazox@gmail.com

        Thanks!!

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        Ikram 

        6 months ago

        Im 20 and I’m planning on moving out with my older sister before the next semester of college this year (end of summer) I live in an African household where women are not allowed to leave the house until marriage. Honestly my culture is very sexist towards women and hold them to a lower standard towards men. But besides that bullshit my family makes me feel suffocated all the time. Like I feel like I’m always walking on glass especially with my mother, she’s the type of person who doesn’t care what others feel or of the sort she makes me feel very depressed and sometimes to the point where I’m just like why bother existing when I can’t even be truthful to honest to her without having her belittle me and treat me like trash. I’ve had this mind set of moving out since high school im a sophomore in college, I don’t think I’ll have trouble bringing it up to my father as he has a more modern way of thinking (and believes women and men should be equal) my mother is the only rock I feel I’ll have to move in my path to adulthood. I just want to be able to experience life and make desicons and memories I’ll have for a life time, and wasting away in this hell hole until marriage won’t do me any good. How can they expect me to just sit here as a damsel in mf distress and wait for some man to be able to live my life to the fullest. Another thing is that my mother believes women shouldn’t go out to have fun with friends and that curfew is with the sun (df where they do that at??) she thinks as a girl I should only be able to go out once In the month and when I do I can’t be out past 5 o clock pm but at the same time she’s gone every weekend and that magically doesn’t apply to her. I’m honestly just fed up with this lifestyle I’m living right now I just wanna live a life where I won’t be filled with regret because I didn’t do something. I am scared to break the news to them but hopefully I’ll find the strength before then.

        Please feel free to share your thoughts or any ways I can break the ice!

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        East 

        6 months ago

        Hi Im 25 and my family is a mess haha , it all begins when i was 14 and my parents split for the 1st time and then a year later they got back together and my father got a new house and my brother, mother and I moved in and here is where im living since early 16 so, we lived here together 4 years and then my brother (almost 3 years older) got his gf pregnant and they married and she moved in... yeah... and when the baby was born my parents split for good (didnt divorced just split and they didnt talk at all haha weird i know but thats how they want to live...) and my father moved out since late 2012. Until 2016 my mother decided to move out to our old house (like it seemed my brother and his fast expanding family didnt seemed to have plans to get their own house) and my father told me that i didnt have to leave this house (his house) that this was my room and all that. But you can imagine how unconfortable it was and since im not a conflictive person all that disconfort and awkwardness just got me to the level that I no longer get food on the fridge bc sis in law its like THIS IS MY HOUSE. And mheee i dond feel like fighting with ridiculous persons so since january i’ve been thinking to move out for fisical and mental healt. But i know my father its going to be like “move with your mom” and o dont wany that and I have already gave the deposit to the house im going to rent and the house is ready in two days and im just figuring out how to tell my father. The real problem its that i got tooooooo atached to my first nephew, this kid its like my son and when the sugestion of me moving with my mother came up last year he didnt like it and cried about it but since i didnt knew what i was going to do i just skeep the subject with him and now that is a fact im sad for him and i know he is going to be the same, he is 5 years old now, and thats is my story. Really more worried for the kid than my father now that i put the balance.

        English its not mymother le guage in case i misspelled something.

        Good luck to all.

      • profile image

        Janet 

        7 months ago

        Hi,

        I am 24 and I'm thinking about moving out with a friend by August. I grew up in an African household with strict and traditional parents who believe that there's no reason for you to be living anywhere other than their home unless you're getting married. (This is very common in my culture. No matter how old you are unless you're getting married you're most likely still living at home with your parents.) I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers. 4 of them no longer live at home and that's only because they got married. I guess during their time, it never occurred to them that moving out as a single adult is a thing. I've always been the type of kid that follow everything their parents say due to fear of confrontation and not understanding that I can actually say no and have an opinion about my own life. (-__-)

        Lately, I've been feeling the urge that I want to move out and just experience life on my own. I understand the hardship that comes with living alone/with roommates but I also feel like how will I learn about these things if I've never experienced them? I don't want to go from following my parents' orders from childhood to catering to someone else for the rest of my life (marriage.) I have a job that pays me more than enough for me to move out and I have savings.

        I just want to give it a go and final commit to something instead of being so afraid of doing things that are "out of the norm" for my culture or at least my parents. I'm super anxious to have this conversation with them because as soon as the topic comes up, they get mad and loud and I get defensive and feel like I'm being shut down once again or my opinions about MY life doesn't matter.

        Please feel free to share your thoughts!! oyewole.janet@gmail.com

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        bbydolldiana 

        7 months ago

        Kendra Email me Diana.c510@gmail.com

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        Kendra 

        7 months ago

        Hi, i'm about to be 22, i'm single and i have recently got this burst of energy to start my life. It's always a back and forth thing of feeling very stuck and like my opinions don't matter. My parents have always sub consciously used scare/fear tactics on me growing up that gave me the worst case of anxiety that makes me feel suicidal a lot. It always results in very bad breakdowns every few years and me moving out, in the past they were not well thought out and i was back within 3 months but now i feel mature enough and ready. My parents harass me every day for my horrible attitude and its because of how bad i'm hurting inside and theres zero communication in my house. I had an accident a little over a year and half ago and was bed ridden and now suffer chronic pain and have found a passion and i'm ready to defy odds and start my life and get rid of this negative energy and bad memories in this town. I'm planning on moving to the next state over and i'm freaking out. My parents barely let me go on vacation trips, and go out with my friends without constant worrying. I can't imagine how it's going to be. My mom guilt tripped me into coming back home before so it's just really confusing because when i'm here they make me feel not good. I know they love me and maybe don't mean to have caused this burden so that makes it worse because i care about what they think TOO much. I don't want them to worry about me! It's caused me to worry about myself way too much and i can't even do simple things without anxiety. Also have come into recent drama with another family member that has been driving me insane feeling like people are going to betray me behind my back. Things are not okay in my mind and my parents will never get that because they never ask me how i feel. It's such a load of crap that has buolt up over the years. i'm 22! i need to start my life!!!

        please email me!!!! i need support. kayie35@yhaoo.com

      • profile image

        Melissa 

        8 months ago

        Hey,

        Ok, so I am an 18 yr old girl and will be 19yr old this month. I am a Christian and come from a Christian home where my dad is the pastor. Roughly 16 years ago my parents started a hispanic church from nothing in the state of Ohio. The church is now established, and is left in the hands of another pastor almost two years ago.

        My father felt the need to come to Texas to start a church here from scratch so we did. It was a long road for us to come here, and just many problems on finding a house to rent etc.

        Flashback to Ohio I fell in love with a man there who is now 34 years of age. Although a man who you can tell loves God my parents didn't want to accept him because of the significant age gap.They forbidded us to talk for a time period. Just trying to control every aspect of my life I feel. Then, after a year of moving here my dad told me we can talk (since he saw my determination), he said if I marry this man though we would not have his blessing unless my bf moved here.

        That is a huge move, and even more so difficult because he is an immigrant. I talked to him though and he was willing to come live here for me, because he knew I wanted the approval of my parents. So, my bf persued to speak with my father about the situation. He called once, and my father was ill and the second time he called my father already was asleep. So he talked with my mother for a bit asking about how the work is here and such.

        My mother replied to him telling him he should really think about whether he should come or not with the difficulties we faced, it would be very hard for him as well. Now, my mother did not say that with the mindset of helping him out, but rather to keep us apart because the good Lord knows they would never approve of me moving there!

        So with the feeling of rejection from my parents my bf has decided not to move here, but we are still together. Now, remember I said we moved to Texas starting a church? Well, I do the worhip songs, play the piano, and teach Sunday School. On top of that leaving would be devastating to my parents. I have tried previously, but they then tell me it isn't a good idea and this last time convinced me they would be supportive and that the harsh comments my mom has been making to me would stop.

        So I spoke to my bf trying to convince him they have changed...and then the comments started again.

        A lady called my mother from the church in Ohio asking if I had a bf. My mother replied no. Then my mother said idk if ******** has been saying anything, but sis. so and so has been asking me questions. I told her no you don't have a bf tho because he hasn't asked your father's permission. Anyway it is just a mess. I don't feel any support from them at all and have been depressed: I am always alone for the most part. My life consists of work, home, church, I really don't go out with friends seeing to as I don't have any close ones here. I would stay with my best friend if I were to move and my bf would pay for my plane ticket. I already told them I am coming, but I am terrified to speak to my parents.

        I am so worried of rejection and disappointment they will have. I just want them to realize that this man I love is a very good man who loves me, and most importantly God.

        So basically I have everything set for when I go, besides a job, but I would find one getting there. I have to give two weeks notice to my job here telling them I am leaving, and some notice to my parents concerning the church. I just feel very nevous about speaking to them, and am scared that from all the emotions when I speak to them they will sway me in my decision making. I never wanted to come to Texas, but we came anyway. I think my father may guilt trip me too, but maybe for once I need to stop thinking about what everyone else wants and think about myself. Also my grandmother on my mother's side passed two weeks ago. I want to be back in Ohio the 19th, but Idk if my mom can handle that stress right now. My best friend says I need to give my two week notice asap and have my flight booked bf I talk to them so I won't be swayed in the moment when I do talk to them. Any advice would be helpful as to when I should talk to them, and also how? I am a very emotional person when it comes to stuff like this, but I do feel they need to give me independency allowing me to make my own decisions; without making me feel uncomfortable/not supported. I know they are like this because they worry, and love me etc. It is just difficult. I also have the pressure of the Church here on my shoulders since I do about 50% of the things. Thanks for reading!

        Boggus16@gmail.com

      • profile image

        Shawna 

        8 months ago

        The goal is to move out soon after graduation. My mom is very emotionally protective while my dad is logically protective. She doesnt want me to go and he says I wont be able to unless i stay home and work for 2-3 years. What they dont know (and i wont be able to tell them till after i move) is that im going to live with my boyfriend. My friends question if i should trust the relationship, but i know i can. Its not like we are together for financial gain and we've been together for over a year now. I trust him and have been so cautious moving forward with him. It was his idea for me to even move out to him. I guess there is no "what to say to your parents when breaking their hearts" script, but it would be nice if there was. Im still totally lost on how to get out and away from my parents.

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        Wendy 

        9 months ago

        Okay Hi.

        I am currently a freshman in college. im a girl, which i am also dating a girl for 2 years now. she recently came back from the navy but she got hurt and shes in recovery right now. she finished the recovery may 21. we are planning to move in together at the beginning of june but i have no idea how to tell my parents. my mom doesnt care much about what i do but my dad i so overprotective. He pays for my college which when i move out im gonna tell him its okay if he doesnt wanna help anymore, but i also dont want to stay in the same house anymore. I dont have an privacy or nothing anymore and it sucks, i love my parents but they also are a pain in my ass.

        any advice on how to tell them ?? help!!!!

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        Taylor 

        10 months ago

        Hey! So, my moving out story is still in progress but I'm at the place I need to be. So, I turned 18 this past December and I planned a few months ahead about where I was going. At first, my family thought that I was just going on vacation. But things changed. I fell in love with someone, and I fell in love with the place where I decided I wanted to be. However, my parents weren't so happy. They said things along the lines of "you're an evil person, you're breaking our hearts, you're gonna die, etc." after hearing all of this I felt guilty because I knew I'd miss them but I had to do this for me. I needed to reinvent myself in a place far from what I've known. I understand it was all of a sudden but I did say goodbye. I feel free, I feel larger than life. And yes it's scary. Yes I do have regrets. But I've never been happier with this decision. I know in time they'll get over it and we'll see eachother. But, most importantly they'll see I'm capable and I have a game plan. I won't be a failure, and I will be happy.

        Because now they did their job. They raised me for 18 years. They don't have to anymore. They can let me live my life now. So I guess the moral of the story is: do what makes you happy. You're not selfish for your decision. Because at the end of the day we all need to move on at some point. Make the most of this life, we only have one.

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        Sydnee 

        10 months ago

        I'm 17. And on my 18th birthday I am going to move out and in with my boyfriend. Right now things at home haven't been very good. My boyfriend is 21 and before we even got togeter my parents didnt want me seeing him but I ignored them. They found out we were together and took my phone and car. They decided he was controling and they believed rumors in my family that he beats girls. Yeah, to some people at first glance might thin hes controling but I ask him the same things he asks of me so everything is equal. He doesn't beat girls and my parents or family wont listen to reason. I've also always had a very strict life and so I haven't gotten to go do things most teenagers get to do but now it's worse. I couldn't go to homecoming and I might not get to go to prom or the senior trip because of the situation. Idk how im gonna tell them im moving out when the time comes. They are terrified hes going to hurt me but I have so much proof that he wont.

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        Ashley 

        11 months ago

        I'm moving out next month to be with my boyfriend (2 years), I'll be moving to a new state, from Minnesota to Nevada, and I'm scared to tell my mom. I'm an only child of a single parent, and my mom is super protective of me, she doesn't even want me to learn to drive, because than it'll be easier for me to leave. She has expressed dislike of my boyfriend because he is African American, and is a few years older than me. I almost don't want to tell her I'm leaving, but I feel I owe it to her even though she is the main cause of my Anxiety and Depression. What do I do? @ashleigarry@gmail.com

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        Michelle 

        11 months ago

        My sister and i are moving out together next month. Keep in mind it’s just my sister and i that my parents have so we are basically they’re everything. We’ve always been good kids we help them out a lot. We love them but we want to experience living on our own and having freedom also to be closer to school. It’s only 20-30 mins max from our home. My mom would be really emotional but i feel like my dad might be understanding more. We have also thought on telling our dad first so he can cool off because he’ll probably be mad at first then tell our mom. We’re both scared to tell them but we want to get it over with so they have time to cope. We just don’t know how to tell them. If you guys can give me advice I’d appreciate it michellemmar1@gmail.com

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        Brittney Roberts 

        11 months ago

        I am 20 years old and i am still living with my parents in a household that is unhealthy. I want to leave because of the unfairness, the mistreatment, the yelling and negativity. my life from the beginning of me remembering things, my life has changed. I just cant deal from the way my stepdad treats me as well as my sister. and my mom takes his side. I am 20 years old with a 10:00 pm curfew. i cant even spend time with my friends because everyone knows that the most exciting things happen after 10. Im not a bad child or in my case right now, im not a bad adult. all i want to do is have more freedom. Freedom in which i dont have to constantly ask to go out and i can stay out until i want to come home. i dont think that's bad but what im talking about for example is staying out late on New Years with out having to ask for more time.For me its always a mission for me to ask to go out. I cant even go a visit my own father because my mom hates him and my stepdad wants to control me and my sister by keeping us from going. I want to move in with my boyfriend and his family and he told me his parents dont mind if i stay. they just dont want any problems with my family. I want to and plan to move out this month and i dont know how to approach my parents.From reading this story i already planned on having my boyfriend by my side with i tell them i want to leave. the only thing is how do i still leave even though they might reject my decisions. I remember my father told me that i may gain something and lose something the only thing i will be losing in my dog, who i have had since i was 8, and i would be losing the person who helps me pay for my classes. but i have already decided to save my money (because i work and my boyfriend pays my phone bill) to pay for my own classes. so really leaving would be a change but it wont effect my so much to the point where im crying in the middle of the night. I have the support from my friends and my boyfriend and his family. i wish i had that from mine but i dont not even from m y own sister but i plan on leaving i jsut need advice. can anyone help me you can email me at Brittney1021@gmail.com

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        Marshon 

        11 months ago

        Thanks for this advice.

        Im 19 and im tired of my mom treating me like im just some random person living here. She even tells me shes tired of me and that she doesn't like me. Shes bantered about me not having a job and now that I have an actual job, she was more upset than before. She took my phone (its technically hers, its on her family plan), and I've ordered my own with my own contract (my own money). Now im planning on taking out a loan for a car in my name (she took the one in her name away from me), and im planning on saving up for an apartment to be ready to move in January with my boyfriend (to cut down the cost for me alone). I was planning on not telling her and just leaving, I want to cut her completely out of my life. Any advice is welcomed. (clark.marshon@gmail.com)

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        kanika 

        12 months ago

        Thanks a lot for this wonderful write up, in many cases it was quite related to me. I really think this idea will surely help me.

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        Ari 

        12 months ago

        Thank you so much for writing this article. I have to tell my overprotective parents that I’m movin out next month and they’re absolutely going to flip. However, I know that for the sake of my mental health it is absolutely the best decision. I love your idea of goodbye sentiments and will be sure to use it

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        Carli 

        12 months ago

        I do not get along with my family at all. I turn 18 in 16 days. I plan on moving into my boyfriends house with his parents. They are super sweet and support me in everything I do. I love them so much. My problem is that my parents will freak when I tell them. Im not sure how to tell them. Any advice is welcomed. Email me please at 99funke18@gmail.com

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        Nessa 

        12 months ago

        Okay so my parents have never approved of my relationship with my partner. He is ten years older than I am. We have been together for almost three years. I know that they will be incredibly mad when they find out that i am living with him. I plan on moving out soon, and I dont know how to do it. If he goes with me they will kick him out and lock me away somewhere even though i am almost 25 years old. I work, I help to pay the bills, i do my chores. I am pretty responsible. I know that my grandma would support me, but she sadly passed away two weeks ago. He and I have talked about it, and we are ready to make a life together. I have been thinking of telling them that I am moving out, or to leave them a letter and just be gone. Because I know how they will react to their only child moving out with someone that they dont like. They have never given him the chance to prove to them how good he is to me. We have been there for each other in the worse and best of times. We havent left each other alone. What should I do????

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        Anon 

        13 months ago

        I've been a good son all my life. I've also done a lot for my parents like help renovating the past 3 houses and helping them build a restaurant. I'm in the marketing and graphic designs area and have no desire to continue doing this labor. I already signed a lease to an apartment with my girlfriend and have been paying for the apartment since. It's been so hard to tell my parents that I want to move out because I'm an only child and I have a lot of responsibilities at home. It's difficult living a life as an "immigrant" and having all of these duties. I also don't have a solid relationship with my dad because he's been instilling fear since birth. I feel depressed and anxious everytime I drive home after work. I have a solid job and can afford to move out with my girlfriend but it's going to be in the city. I just recently told my mom about my unhappy situation living at home and even said I would come home on Sundays to help continue the renovations but she's been so upset and even told me not to dare tell my dad. I'm struggling so much with the pressure of being home and the pressure of my girlfriend wanting me to move out. I don't know what to do. Any advice would really help... dhsong91@gmail.com

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        zhy 

        13 months ago

        Hi, Im 26 this yr. A girl that loves a girl. In the month of July, I went for surgery and also I took a personal loan with my gf to pay her school and some of outstanding bills which that i didnt inform my parents. One day, they found out about it and went bonkers over it and spit out everything they are not happy. Starting to make me feel like shit and i was so stressed. That night, I packed my stuff and left home. I move out from staying in hotel for few days then I decided to crash over at my gf house. When i was staying over at my gf's crib, my mom and aunt came over create a scene. It made me feel stupid and ashamed for being confronted like a kid. That night i still went home but I decide that that's it. I can't keep running and come back. I have to decide what I should do as an adult. So the next day I left home again permanently, renting out with my gf. I did visit my parents for the past 3 months. Yet, they still asking me questions. I didnt tell my partner how stress i am, bcos she already hated my family for confronting me infront of her family which makes her to lose her pride. Sometimes I feel numb inside. I feel that I have to be fair to my family and gf. therefore I keep telling my parents that I want to live away from them. They still don't understand what I want to do in my life even though numerously i informed them. My family aren't happy bcos I am gay, in my country i couldn't get marry as it is not legal. My gf hates my family. My parents hates her. I am happy living by myself yet sometimes I do feel pressure when I receive text /call from my parents. I want to visit them but whenever I went over, they keep asking me when i want to go home? Till when I want to stay out? Why waste money to stay out? I dont know if im going through depression/stress.

        please share ur advice to me: elmo_skyler@live.com

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        Me 

        14 months ago

        Hey Guys, so I'm currently 21 years old and I have an amazing relationship with my boyfriend (2 years). Anyhow I want to move out and I already got my apartment and everything. I just don't know how to tell my father because he's an overprotective man...and I resent him for trying to control my life and being so strict. I don't want to do anything to do with him but I don't want to lose contact with my siblings, who are younger than me. I feel so stressed out and worrying about it too much. I cant have a good conversation with my father because of how much I resent him. I want him out of my life. Any advice?

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        Blackqueenn 

        14 months ago

        Hi.

        Okay so I am currently 16 turning 17 in February and I am graduating early with class of 2018 instead of class of 2019. I've been with this amazing guy for 4 months now and I've known him as a good friend for a while before that. He is currently in a sophomore in college and wants to transfer with me to my college after I graduate in June. He's getting his applications together now to transfer. The housing plan is I'm originally from Miami, and we have property down there. So I wouldn't pay rent just bills. I am a very mature person and my mother has acknowledged that as well I will be fine on my own and will excel. However he's a SOPHOMORE in college. And to make things worse I have a friend that graduated a year before me and she wants to move with me as well. So it'd be my bestfriend, my boyfriend and myself. There's plenty of space to go around, if I take the 3 bedroom instead of the one bed room unit my mom originally stated she'd give me. He's taking me to prom in May, and in June for my senior week we're going to Haiti with some friends. I'm so unsure of how to handle this entire situation. I was thinking about waiting until after the college application process, and after my moms wedding (January). As I previously stated my birthday is in February so I thought I might wait until then. Once I get my mom on board I now have to get my (very Christian) old school grand parents on board bc they live in Miami so I'd be seeing them very often and I don't want to have that problem. (My grandma is cooler than my grandpa he's the pastor). If you even gotten to the bottom of this essay, any advice you have would help.

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        Xina 

        14 months ago

        I'm having a lot of trouble because I want to live with my bf but the problem is my mom keeps saying he's not good for you, your not ready, and u don't know anything. I really want to live with him so bad but my mom is way overprotective I can't stand it no more. How can I be with the one I love when I having trouble with my mom saying yes? I did everything that I could but either way she will always say no no matter what.

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        jay 

        14 months ago

        i came up here to live with my mom and her boyfriend but i don't like him he always yelling at me he don't yell at my brother are sister but he yells at me like who are u so that's why i want to go back and stay with my dad but i don't know how to tell her

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        Anonymous 

        14 months ago

        I told my parents I was going to move out to live with my boyfriend at the beginning of August. We both have taken time to plan our finances and get everything in order so we plan to move in together in early Oct. They were angry and not supportive. Mom didn't speak to me for two weeks. I told them we are moving in early Oct at the beginning of August and now it is Sept and they are acting like I am not moving out at all. They disregarded everything I said in August. Now, I have to tell them again.

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        bree 

        14 months ago

        my grandparents the same so overprotected cant do or go nowhere

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        Nancy 

        14 months ago

        I'm 17 years old and a senior in high school. My mom is probably the reason why I want to move out after senior year. She's a very strict mom. She tells us when my sister and I have to eat, she tells us when to sleep, when to wake up, and basically tries to control our life. I can't remember the last time I can go out at night without having to worry that she might call to bitch. Also did I mention my curfew is 12:00 AM every time i go out? The fact that I have to sneak out of my window which is two stories high tells you something about her. I want to be able to live freely without having to worry about a thing. Worst part is.. she yells. ALOT. and I don't mean once in a while, I mean every day morning AND night. You go crazy being in a house with someone like that you know? We've never been really close. We only talk at the dinner table. Anyways, my sister moved out three weeks ago and she is 22, but was forced to move out cause she couldn't handle my mom's yelling anymore. After my senior year, I am planning to move out, and I don't know how to break the news to her. She'll probably be devastated that her middle child is moving out... but honestly she makes up about 50% of stress in my life. How do i tell her without making it seem like i'm moving out because of her?

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        Afy 

        15 months ago

        I'm 21 I want to move out because my parents fight everyday I have a brother who is 11 and another one who's 17 .. they fight with each other and tell every problem to us. It's just annoying how they mess up our mind and make us suffer, my mom gets beaten up to death my dad says if you split up I won't let u live a peaceful life I feel bad for her my heart is just breaking , I hate living like this. I once loved a boy whom I dated for a good 3 years after I told my parents they hurried to take my wedding but now I'm not happy anymore I just don't love him anymore but my dad doesn't let me divorce him he forcefully tells me to be with that guy. I just hate my life I have so much problems .. I want to move out but my dad is VERY VERY STRICT I'm scared if I say him this and that he'll like "ok, go from now on I don't have a daughter" I'm just so scared but also tired of everything. Please someone advice me I'm dying I have no one to talk. I need to find a job first . Someone help me

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        Nikki S. 

        15 months ago

        Being bullied by my own parents, told to clean the house 3 times a day, being mistreated, and forced to pick a job in a month. Pushed me to move in with my bf over 600 miles away in 9 days. Still a senior and moving on my own will be rough. However, telling my parents will be even harder than moving. They are way over protective and stubborn.

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        Caroline Kiepe 

        15 months ago

        I tried to move out after my parents caught me with a guy in a motel and tried to drug test me. Mom called the cops claiming i was trying to hurt myself, and I would have had to hurt her in order to leave so I stayed until the cops came. Mom had my brother steal my bags and hide them from me so I couldn't leave. I told them what happened, but being 19, I didn't want my parents to have anything to do with the real story. Recently they've been keeping me locked up in the house. LITERALLY. I'd have to break open a window to escape, and they'd chase me and lie to the cops again to get me in their sights again, I'm certain of that much. My parents have always been over protective, keeping me from having friends or even going out to the lawn, but if you're anything like this please burn in hell. I have never not been depressed or anxiety ridden, all thanks to them. I envy the lucky fucks out there who have a happy go lucky fucking life, and I will never know the joys of that.

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        Tonyah 

        16 months ago

        I’m not exactly sure how to move out against my parents wishes. I plan to move to a college far away from them that they hate. They are very religious too so im scared they’ll say things like im being unbiblical and stuff.

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        Jay 

        17 months ago

        I wished my parents wanted me to stay lol my bags and clothes hamper were already packed on high school graduation day

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        Hailey 

        19 months ago

        Im moving out in two months and have absloutely no idea how to tell my parents.

        Im moving in with my boyfriend, of whom they know and like well enoigh, but they are very conservative and i know they will object.

        We went over budget sheets yesterday, and with our combined income we will have over 600 dollars left over from every month.

        I just dont want to face my parents.

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        Nora Bean 

        20 months ago

        I'm 17. I told my parents I was bisexual in November and that I had a girlfriend. We're a Christian family and they believe that it's wrong and disgusting. It's been causing a lot of tension at my house. They threatened to keep everything they can if I try to move out; my car, phone, bed, clothes, etc. I can't tell other family bc it will make my parents upset. They've always been super overprotective and they get upset even if I tell them I decided to pursue something without including them in the thinking process (whether it's what school I wish to attend or what movie I want to go see with friends that night.) They also won't support me at all with college if i move out. This argument was a few weeks ago. I turn 18 in four weeks and for months I have been planning to move out and talking to friends and close family-like adults in my life about what to do. Lately they've been trying to plan a summer vacation and pretending like nothing is wrong when really it's still uncomfortable and tense. I hate being here. They don't believe I can make it on my own and I think they'll be very surprised and upset when I break the news to them about me moving out. I've been waiting to do it. I'm still planning to tell them about a week before my birthday or a few days even out of fear that they'll take my money and try harder to make it impossible for me. I've got everything set up, I work two jobs and am still an okay student. My counselor at the high school agreed on my birthday to change my status on my FAFSA to independent and send it to whatever school I plan to attend. I'll be moving in with my girlfriend and her father until my friend and I get an apartment over the summer before school starts. I'm set to go. I'm so excited too but my parents love to guilt trip me bc they know I'll feel bad and I'm not looking forward to that. So thank you so much for posting this because it's nice to hear that others have gone through this too and that this won't make me the failure my parents see me as.

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        Abby 

        22 months ago

        Looking to move out myself, I have my plan prepared, but the most unpredictable element is my parents. This article was so much more strait forward and warranted for keeping a relationship with your parents of they don't approve, which has been lacking in others I found. Thank you for the advice. :3

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        Kay 

        22 months ago

        I hope this does help. The only thing I'm worried about is my step-mom and father not letting me get my stuff from their house before I move out.

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        Maritza 

        22 months ago

        So today is the day I'm telling my mom, I'm moving out she is over protective, and I been planning this for 3 months, and never could, I been having alot of anxiety with everything that has been going on. And I feel like this will make my relationship with her better and stronger, I basically started to panic and so I looked online and came across this , and it helped so much thank you so much

        -wish me luck

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        Ashley k 

        23 months ago

        So my boyfriend me and my 16 year old brother all want to move in together but my mom is very protective and though I'm just moving two towns away I know she's going to yell and me and I just don't know how to bring it up to her

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        Monica 

        23 months ago

        Hi guys, I never felt like I had a close relationship to any of my family members. Actually till this day I feel awkward with my sister even though we are suppose best buddies. The point I am getting at is that I have been with my boyfriend only 4 months but am already planning on moving in with him. We were together for a week at his house and things were magnificent but I am so scared of how my parents will react. sigh

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        Marielle 

        2 years ago

        I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. I currently live with my dad but feel as though I am beginning to overstay my welcome at his house. For the most part, my dad and I have a good relationship but a few months ago, he told me that I needed to find another place to live. I automatically turned to my boyfriend and his parents (whom I'm close with) and they openly offered to let me live with them. (My boyfriend lives in the "in-law quarters" within their house). A few days later, my dad revoked his request for me to move out. It is now that I have decided to move in with my boyfriend and I am nervous about approaching my dad with this idea. I feel as though it is the right move but I feel like my dad would disagree. I've asked a few friends and even my boyfriend's mom and my own mom for advice and have received various points of views and great advice. It's all a bit nerve wracking but I know I have to be mature about the whole situation... I just hope that I'm not crazy in doing this at my age.

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        Cassie 

        2 years ago

        Did i write this? Because this is my exact situation...Thanks for the advice! :)

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        Emile 

        2 years ago

        My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years this past week.

        Despite this my parents act as if we are both still a couple of pre teens.

        We've had a lot of trouble with boundaries, especially with my mom.

        My mother refuses to change her attitude towards me. The amount she respects my thoughts and actions hasn't changed much as I've grown.

        I want to tell her that I plan on joining my boyfriend and his roommate in their two bedroom apartment within a few months. But I am worried about dealing with the fallout in person.

        On the other hand, were I to wait to tell her, I'd have to continue dealing with this built up anxiety over the matter.

        My boyfriend is working full time (at a temporary job, until he can find a position in linework, for which he is certified).

        His apartment is closer to my college and not too far from my work.

        I've always felt my parents put far too much value in the opinions of others and unfortunately I have inherited that trait from them.

        I worry so constantly about how she will treat me after I tell her that I have paralyzed myself.

        It will likely be 2-3 months before I am ready to physically move out, as I have some cleaning out of clothes and things to do.. should I tell her now and deal with her barrage of arguments (attempting to change my mind) or should I delay it so she can cool off with me out of the house..and deal with the stress of bottling it away.

        Any advice is welcome..

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        Hannah 

        2 years ago

        Hi,

        I am nineteen and i go to college an hour and a half away from home, but every month for the past five months my mom has gotten into fights with me about stupid things and the worst fight of all just occured. I am scared to live home for the summer so I want to move into a rental house with my boyfriend where his parents agreed to let us stay if we pay utilities. My mom is not talking to me and if she does, it is violent yelling and name calling while i beg her to stop, I dont know how she will react or how to tell her, my dad is caught in the middle but i feel like they wont let me leave, or will kick me out. How do i handle this?

      • profile image

        guest81 

        2 years ago

        I have a very very hard time talking to my parents in person but for some reason I can write it down easier than telling them in person. I told them about 4 months ago but I'm still at home & my boyfriend keeps asking me when I'm moving in. Is it okay to write them a letter?

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        Tori 

        2 years ago

        My family is moving to Florida and I want to stay in Georgia. I'm 20. I want to move in my friends house or move into a apartment with my friend . I've discussed in some with my parents before and they are not okay with it. They are very overprotective in my opinion and scares me that they'll cut me off. I would have job and split expenses equally. Jobs like cleaning, shopping, etc. would be shared equally. I could still go to school. My parents think I won't be successful at all. When I talk to my friends about it, they are completely supportive. My dad doesn't want me to have a job. I would save up money. They treat me different than they do my brother who is same age as me. I'm an adult but they treat me like a child.

        Any tips or advice would be helpful.

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        Emily 

        2 years ago

        Hello. I'm in a sticky situation. My boyfriend(brown) and I(chinese) have been going out for a little more then a year. Im the youngest of three and the first one to be in a relationship.

        My mother had known about us since the firstt date. But she never accepted it. I've asked her why she hates my boyfriend so much, and she says she doesnt need tk explain why. She just hates him.

        So to this day she still hates it when I go out with him. My mother is one of the most over protective parents ever. I am turning 24 this year. And I still have to be home before 12. I've never had a close relationship with either of my parents.

        I want to get a place with my boyfriend by the end of the year. This is going to be really hard to do since my sister (28) and my brother (26) still gladly live at home. Whenever I mention my boyfriend, my mom starts yelling at me and gives me the silent treatment afterwards. I can only imaine how telling her I'm going to get a place withy boyfriend will go...

        Any advice will help

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        Lilly Marple 

        2 years ago

        I told my mom first and she told me to go for it. My dad on the other hand wasnt to happy, we had a screaming match. It was hard on me though because i didnt think he loved me anymore. But then again i was only 17 when i moved out. My birthday is January 16th and i moved out on January 2nd. I am now living with my boyfriend and i love it, its so quiet and i dont have to worry about all the screaming and yelling in the house. Yes i miss my parents and yes i still love them but i just couldnt take it anymore. I was the one blamed for everything and got in trouble for everything, so i think moving out was the best thing i ever did with my life. Im glad i told my parents i wanted to move out because if i didnt i would still be thinking that question "what if ?" So yes moving out was the greateat thing i ever did. Thank You for letting me get my thoughts out and that is the end of my experience.

      • Irish Shrew profile image

        Ro 

        2 years ago from Midwest

        Very well written and concise Hub. If I may- I would like to also add (as a parent) that parents consider their child's personality as well. My older girl I knew wouldn't venture far but was independent enough and also exhibited streets smarts to the point of full survival. My younger daughter is very smart but naive to a fault. She trusts everyone and takes them at their word. We parents know our children. Granted, we also have met some shady people in our lives along with being sticklers at news watching! It is very hard to see them walk out the door when we don't feel comfortable that they are fully equipped to tackle all that may land on their doorstep. Maybe I would add one thing to the list of dealing with parents? Make sure to tell them you hope you can call for advice any time it is required-even though you have no intention on doing so. At least you have left that door open!

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        Mary 

        3 years ago

        NoelleNichols,

        Our parents have met, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, so our families have interacted quite a bit.

        Thank you for the advice! I'll make sure to bring it up to him!

      • noellenichols profile imageAUTHOR

        Noelle 

        3 years ago from Denver

        Hi Mary,

        It sounds like you and your boyfriend are quite prepared for this move. When I first moved out of state with my boyfriend (we had been dating for over a year), my dad flat out said "No." which of course I was ready for. Just be sure to have your resolve and really stick to it. Either of your parents might think this is a mistake, but really in life we all have to make our own journeys.

        Have either of your parents met one another's parents? If not, I wouldn't consider maybe telling one set of parents at a time, not together. That would just lead to a lot more stress, I would imagine. That's how me and my boyfriend did it. Otherwise parents start thinking you're asking about marriage, etc, and already be in a bad mood.

        You could start off telling your parents you'll each have your own bedroom and this is more of a roommate situation. It's always great to have a good support system as well (aka your boyfriend) when going to college, so maybe throw that out there as well. I would just make sure to state that you'll be focused on schoolwork as well.

        Other than that, just remember a big change takes some time for everyone to adjust. So don't be too worried if you ruffle some feathers!

      • profile image

        Mary 

        3 years ago

        So, theres this college that i want to go to out of state, and my parents seem okay with me going there, because of the college experience that ive had with a college prep program I'm in. What they don't know is that I want to move to the state with my boyfriend (the city the college is in is his home town), and get an apartment.

        I'll be 18 in February, and he'll be 19 next month in December. I'll be the third child to move out, but he's the oldest and will be the first.

        I don't know how my parents will react, but it's possible that they may just act like the conversation didn't happen and will be the closed-minded people that they normally are.

        His parents aren't extremely Catholic, but still up there, and two people dating living together is a bit of a no-no. He had a cousin who lived with his (now ex) girlfriend, and it seemed as though his whole family was furious. I don't want them to hate him or anything because of me. However, things are different because we'll actually have jobs, be going to school, I've had plenty of experience living away from home, and his family seems to really like me (apparently I'm all his mom talks about).

        We're looking at 2bedroom apartments, and we're more focused on going to college than what their fears of us living together probably are (both of us are virgins not interested in that stuff).

        We were planning on telling out parents at the same time...

        Any tips?

      • profile image

        guest2 

        3 years ago

        Hi,

        Its a nightmare trying to persuade my parents to let me even go to a good college that has a program I'm interested in. 23 and want to be out before 25 (that means not living within bus distance of them).

        I've let my dad know and I won't give up this time as its important to me I can do school without them. I want to apply to the school before the end of this month and definetley before November & will do so even if they don't support me as they can't control me forever like they for the past few years. I will do residence next year, make the jump from being with them, to feeling comfortable on my own. I have already done college close to home on their wishes but it can't always hold. The last time I was apart from them for a week it felt great they just don't get it. Maybe being female and the oldest doesn't help but I won't let that stop me this time!

      • veronicaadams profile image

        Veronica Adams 

        3 years ago from Mobile,AL

        Don't you hate it when your parents tell you to grow up but that still treat you like a child?

      • profile image

        justine 

        3 years ago

        How late is too late to tell them that youre leaving? I leave to move back to my home state 850 miles away in a little over a week but just found out yesterday. It feels wrong to only give them a weeks notice but I didnt know before yesterday so its the best I can do I guess.

      • profile image

        Laura J. 

        3 years ago

        Im 24, and i want to move out.

        I left when i was 18 in bad circumstance, i made the decision and just left while everyone was out and didnt say a word. I regret doing that.

        But now i want to move out. Im stuck in a toxic situation where my insecurities areused against me in arguments. Where things i did years ago are somehow relevent in every argument and im made to feel that im priveledged to have a room in this house for two thirds of my wage [which is a full time job at £7 an hour]

        She wants a months notice, but i just know that that month will be living hell because she'll be stressed and shoutier than ever.

        I have multiple options of friends who would be happy to let me live with them and share the rent... hell i could afford my own place...

        I just dont know how to approach the situation. At all...

      • profile image

        India Terry 

        3 years ago

        Thank you for this article. I'm moving out of state to be with my girlfriend. My mother doesn't accept gay relationships/marriages because she is a pastor. I don't know how to stand up to her face to face so the "writing" option is my only way to express my feelings. I know if I have an argument or talk to her, she will bribe me with something I love. I know because I have done this plenty of times. If she keeps telling me "if you're going to leave, do it!", does that mean she wants me to leave or does that mean that she will care once I leave.

      • viviana213 profile image

        viviana213 

        3 years ago from California

        I need help with telling my dad that I’m moving out. I'm 19 years old and have already made living arrangements with my aunt who I’m going to be staying with till I have a stable job and find my own place, I’ve already told my mom who I’m closer to and she has known for a year now that I’ve been wanting to move out, but I don't know how to break it to my dad since I already have a feeling of what he is going to say. I don’t want him to take it the wrong way either and have been stressing out so much about this. I”ve thought about writing him a letter and letting him read it so he could let it sink in because he wouldn’t let me explain everything if we were to talk. All of my other family members support me and even some friends that I’ve told support me too. I plan on leaving in august and just want them to know how serious I am about moving. Even though I’m the "baby" of the family when I tried to talk to my older sister she thought that I was overreacting because she hasn’t moved out and she’s 21 years old. She even thought that I was too prepared because I already found places that are hiring, a car to driving while I’m living over there, and things I need like insurance, my phone bill and other necessities.. If anyone could possible help me with any advice it would be a huge help. Even though this article has helped me I just need other opinions.

      • noellenichols profile imageAUTHOR

        Noelle 

        3 years ago from Denver

        Hi Sarah,

        I know how tensions can get with parents! Just be sure you are your friend are able to support yourselves. The worst case scenario for moving out is not being prepared for what's to come and ending up having to move back in. I would recommend not just leaving without saying something. Keep your cool, even if she does get mad. Sit your mom and tell her. Even if it's hard. "Mom, I've given this a lot of thought over the past xxx weeks. I have a job and know what I'm getting into. As you know, I'm 18 now and I want to take the next step in my life. I'm moving out....." ----- Something like that as a starter. Be sure to get some advice from friends and family too! Good luck!

        I can tell you all from experience that it DOES get much better after breaking the news to your parents. Sometimes it does take some time, but my relationship with my dad is great. Some parents just have a harder time letting go. Like they say, time heals all! Growing up (and moving out) is inevitable. Just be smart out when you move out/who you move in with/and how you handle the situation.

      • profile image

        Mandela 

        3 years ago

        Im 20 years old. Turning 21 in December. I get my apartment key in one week and i still didn't tell my parents i'm moving out with my friend. They're old school and overprotective. I plan on telling my dad first since he's easy going. But it won't be easy. I'm growing up and i've decided it's time for me to go and see the world without them.

      • profile image

        sarah 

        3 years ago

        im 18 and decieded to move out in two weeks with my best friend due to extreme tension and arguments with my mom. im scared to tell her but i know i have to. i just dont know how to break it to her. ive thought about it in my head but still cant find a good way to tell her (might just be me avoiding it) please help me

      • profile image

        Sam Stephens 

        3 years ago

        I am actually planning this while I am still young because I share a close bond with my mom, and once the day comes I move, I know it will be painfully hard. I want to start a band with my friends, and if we are good enough to be signed, I will be able to visit them frequently. If it doesn't work out, I'm a saver, not a spender, so I can still visit, call, text, and skype.

      • profile image

        Ryl 

        3 years ago

        Still Planning how to starr the conversation , i quit my job because of the apartment my sis got, we are paying it together but its too much for me, i can't tell her that i want to stop paying and move out.,

        p.s. she always says that she can py the apartment alone...

      • profile image

        Juan 

        3 years ago

        I am somewhat ready to move out but currently I am helping my parents with some bills. My dad only works and my mom stays home. I don't want to take away the money..

      • profile image

        Marie 

        3 years ago

        I started working in the adult industry a few months ago, and I know that I can comfortably support myself so I just got my own apartment. I move in 2 months, but my strict Asian parents have no idea about my job so I honestly have no idea how to tell them... They'd disown me if they knew. I know I'm in a tricky situation. I still want a relationship with them though, so I think I'll just tell them that I got a great office job in the next city... Wish me luck.

      • profile image

        Kelah 

        3 years ago

        This article was really helpful for me. It seems like the older I get the more overprotective they get (I'll be 21 in August). As a result my friend told me I can come stay with her over the Sumner until it's time for me to go to my new school in the fall. I've always had a decent relationship with my parents but they've been getting more and more difficult to talk to lately and ever since I've made my decision to move I've been really nervous about sitting my parents down and talking to them. This makes me feel a little better and a bit more prepared because the author's situation is similar to my own. Thank you for this post :)

      • profile image

        Sammy 

        3 years ago

        Just broke the news to my dad over email, mum is 100% on board as I have a full time job, flat mates and a house already sorted, also a good weekly budget. I'm the only daughter and I've had a touch history with mental health so he is a bit over protective and I'm worried that he will not support me. Also, I would totally stand me ground, but I work side by side with my dad, and I don't want to lose my job or make work awkward. But seeing your dad for 9 hours straight and then living with him is hard! Wish me luck for tonight...

      • profile image

        Marie 

        3 years ago

        Moving out from the overprotective parent nest is always easier the first time. The next time you live with your overprotective parents, the harder they may try to hold onto you, and the less they will be able to tolerate you as an adult. Although you may move out again (and again), you risk ruining your relationship with your parents.

      • profile image

        Brenda 

        3 years ago

        This was very helpful. I am a week away from my 21st birthday, and wondering how to break the news to my parents that I'm moving out. Although I am a bit older I have very strict parents, this has caused a lot of conflict for me. And because my older brother is 26 and still at home my parents see it as me still being a child. No to mention that I am the "baby" and there only daughter. Gonna stick my ground..thank you for the advice.

      • profile image

        Emma-May 

        4 years ago

        I'm 17, and my parents seem to think that I won't make it alone like I'm going to live with them for ages. I've been offered uni an hour and half away from home, and they expect me to drive that everyday. My friend has also been offered uni and at the same place, we are trying to organise living together in that town. But breaking the news to my parents? Since I left school it has been hell! They have been yelling at me for things that arnt my fault. I live in a town where getting a job is totally not easy, in this new town it would be different but yea. Anyway so I want to go on social security so I have some money cause atm I have none, they won't let me do that, they won't let me go for my p's when I have all the log filled in and done. They used to be happy with me being the one that wants to move on sooner (my brother is 22 and still at home) but now it's like an issue, I'm planning on telling them about my plans to move out soon some time soon. And I know it will be an argument. I just don't want to leave with bad blood, but atm it seems like the only outcome. :/

      • profile image

        Avril 

        4 years ago

        My parents are very traditional and old fashioned. My boyfriend has asked me to move in with him and im terrified with the idea of asking my parents to move out! Reading this helped me think things over clearly... thank you so much

      • Erin Jade profile image

        Erin Jade 

        4 years ago from South Australia

        You made some really good points here. My parents were fairly strict too and it led to a lot of conflict! Looking back I wish I had made a much better plan such as having full time work to support myself and move out once I could buy a house rather than being a student and share housing. It would have saved years of heartache bouncing from rental to rental living with people who turned out not to be the nice people I had always thought they were!

      • profile image

        nicoshaguerra 

        4 years ago

        Good topic! It took awhile for me to move out own my own , but some how my boyfriend who is now my husband gave me the courage to actually tell my mom why I'm moving and its about that time to be out own my own anyway . Good post ! Hope to see more post like this soon .

      • profile image

        Xyro 

        4 years ago

        This information helps me a lot. Thanks for the support.

        My moving out story is a bit complicated. Bit of a Drama. Where you might give up on yourself and just thinking about moving on and support yourself through life and provide things for yourself with needs that you need to improve, like your "Quality of Life".

        Sorry I can't say no more than this.

        Thank You HubsPage.

      • gmwilliams profile image

        Grace Marguerite Williams 

        4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

        Excellent article. While many parents are happy that their adult children are moving out of the nest and establishing their new lives, overprotective parents view the independence of their adult children to be an affront to them. They still view their adult children as children, not adults. They want to infantilize their children or at least keep them in a dependent, subordinate status. The average overprotected child oftentimes do not have the wherewithal to separate from their parents. It takes a stronger natured overprotected child to state that he/she is an adult, quite capable of making adult decisions. I voted this hub UP.

      • noellenichols profile imageAUTHOR

        Noelle 

        5 years ago from Denver

        Mathira - Thank you for the comment and kind words.

      • mathira profile image

        mathira 

        5 years ago from chennai

        Parents sacrifice their life for the well being of their children. But the grave mistake they commit is not to realize that their children are individuals who want to lead their own lives. Excellent hub about a sensitive matter.

      • Sundeep Kataria profile image

        Sundeep Kataria 

        5 years ago

        Very nice and point wise presentations. Thanks for sharing your views.

      • LensMan999 profile image

        LensMan999 

        5 years ago from Trans-Neptunian region

        The hub is very wonderful. I should have known these tips when I was too young. However thanks a lotfor sharing the hub!

      • kthix10 profile image

        kthix10 

        5 years ago from IL

        Woohoo! I just saw this was pinned by Hubpages - hoping you gets lots of traffic!

      • noellenichols profile imageAUTHOR

        Noelle 

        5 years ago from Denver

        Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I'm happy it was useful.

      • Vacation Trip profile image

        Susan 

        5 years ago from India

        Great hub with good tips. Voted up and useful. Thanks for sharing.

      • Nemetos profile image

        Nemetos 

        5 years ago

        This would have been some good tips for when I moved out haha, great hub!

      • pinto2011 profile image

        Subhas 

        5 years ago from New Delhi, India

        Definitely this way of straightening fact is going to help both ends. Very nice idea.

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