Dolores is a mom of a wonderful child who has Down Syndrome.
So, you’ve got the news that your child has Down Syndrome. Maybe you’re not even sure what Down Syndrome is. Maybe you think this is the worst day of your life.
If so, logic dictates that, after 24 hours, the worse day of your life will be over! Done with. That’s a good thing, right? What you’re left with is an adorable little baby who will change your life for the better!
Many people have a preconceived notion that life will be perfect. After all, you are perfect! You’ve lived a good life, so far, effused with high moral values, hard work, education, ambition, good looks and good health. Life should unfold, for you, in a neat, predictable manner. It’s so unfair! Life should be a constant momentum of improvement.
I am here to tell you that Down Syndrome can make your life better. So, what will you gain by having a child with Down Syndrome? How can this "imperfect" baby improve you?
I am here to tell you that Down Syndrome can make your life better. So, what will you gain by having a child with Down Syndrome? How can this imperfect baby improve you?
1) You will learn patience. You may have to wait a bit longer for your child to talk or take those first steps. Your friends have made a contest of those accomplishments and swell with pride when their kid is the first one to yell ‘NO,’ because we all know that verbal prodigy is a sure indication of the content of the parents’ character. It is not a contest. Isn’t a bit absurd to pit babies against one another? Would you resent your normal child if he waited a few extra weeks to lift his head? If your ‘normal’ child is a bit smaller than your friends’ children – does that make you a loser?
2) You will learn the true meaning of love. Who is deserving of your love? Is there a system of protocols that must be followed in order to be worthy of your affection? Is someone less deserving of your love due to the size of the bridge over their nose or that fact that they are incapable of performing higher math? You will learn that love has no bounds, no rules or expectations, that love exists for all of us, that no matter what you look like or who you are or how many chromosomes you have – everyone deserves love.
3) You will become that open-minded person you’ve always secretly envied.
4) You will become fearless and worry-free. The one thing that will ruin your life, if you have a child with Down Syndrome, is to waste time and mental resources worrying about something that may or may not even come up. Worry makes you miserable, your family miserable; it makes you unhealthy and unattractive (that scowl is just not you). What is the sense of worrying about something when you’re not even sure what it is you are worrying about?
5) You will be a lot of really nice people.
6) You’ll save money on clothes. Children with Down Syndrome grow slower than average so you’ll get your money’s worth out of all of those cute outfits.
7) You will become more accepting of other people’s idiosyncrasies and less concerned with artifice and BS.
8) You will grow spiritually. The first step on the road to enlightenment is compassion. The Dali Lama says that you can’t walk that path without cheer.
9) You will psychologically benefit from giving of yourself and earning the love and admiration of your child with Down Syndrome and a host of others.
10) You may just learn the true meaning of life. I am not going to spill any beans, but the other nine points will lead you here.
Questions & Answers
Question: My 95-year-old grandmother wants to sell her large collection of Desert Rose dishware. She lives on the other side of the country, and I am unable to help her. how would you suggest she sell her collection?
Answer: There are many ways of selling old dishware, but it may be difficult for a senior woman to haul an extensive collection to a dealer. Due to her advanced age, I would not recommend that she contact someone out of the blue. Perhaps there is a friend or relative, someone that you or she can trust to assist her in finding a local dealer. She can either sell it to a dealer or to a dealer who sells on commission. Of course, if she relies on commission, she will get nothing if no one buys it.
Dolores Monet (author) from East Coast, United States on January 14, 2016:
Jennifer Mugrage - of course people meet any diagnosis with fear born of misunderstanding, especially if it involves a baby. That is why information is so important, to relieve the anxiety. We can't get to know our babies while experiencing anxiety, but with open hearted love.
I am concerned that in many situations, people associate life's troubles with behavior or morality. Of course we want the best for our children. We want them to be strong and safe and successful and healthy. But there is a sense in some, that problems are "asked for," and that the good things are earned. In my own case, I sometimes ask myself, what did I do to earn my daughter? She is and has been a blessing.
Nina L James from chicago, Illinois on February 08, 2012:
What a neat hub!!! A child that is born with Down Syndrome can become a person that can live a normal, healthy, productive life. Your hub has shown me that patience, care, lots and lots of love far outweigh any mental and physical challenges this child may face. I guess it's all in how the parent chooses to help the child to reach their full potential in life. You also give a lot of good resources in which parents can use in terms of helping their special needs child. Voted up!!!!!!!!
Dolores Monet (author) from East Coast, United States on May 29, 2011:
Angela - thank you for your input, so honest and well thought out. Mixed emotions are common for all of us, so we might as well let the good ones rule! God bless you and your son. Life is beautiful!
Vicki - I guess we all feel bad when there is a 'problem' with a child, as if we somehow are less than perfect. It's a good life lesson. What the heck is perfect anyway! Thank you dear. Blessings on you and your family.
Mary - my daughter and I just went to a wedding. The beautiful little flower girl has DS, and my daughter went up to her and they had a little conversation. My daughter looked up, afterwords, with a hint of tears in her eyes. She always introduces herself to someone else with DS, shakes hands in a sort of welcome to the club kind of thing. Her kindness is inspiring to me and others. Thank you!
valerie - thank you so much. You folks from outside of hubpages, leaving such kind comments on my article have really moved me.
Ann - my experience with my own daughter changed my life in many ways. Also to the lives of the people around us. She is an inspiration to us all. Sometimes, we don't right away recognize where our blessings are. Thank you.
Vickie - I don't know how many times I've been pondering something. Then my daughter pops up with some simple comment, her view on the topic, that sums it all up, shuts everyone up, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss is about. Thank you and God Bless.
Dolores Monet (author) from East Coast, United States on August 30, 2009:
I guess God has blessed you, Ria, thanks for commenting.
Such a lovely commnent, Pamela. I think that when doctors deliver a DS diagnosis, they should hook the parents up with a family who has a child with DS in order to calm their fears, answer their questions, and just generally introduce them to a world that they do not understand.
Janhavi, thank you so much for the lovely comment. It seems that, in general, love comes into our lives so much easier that one would think possible.
Janhavi on August 29, 2009:
I am a mother of a child with Down Syndrome. He is three years old. Before he was born, whenever I saw children with disabilities, I used to wonder how difficult it must be for the parents to love their atypical children! Now that I have one which would be thought of as disabled, I know it really and truly does not make a difference. Love for the child comes to us as naturally as it would to anyone with a typical child! That in itself is a wonderful, perspective improving experience.
Pamela Wilson on August 29, 2009:
I really admire you for your self-control and discipline - it must have been so difficult to limit yourself to just ten ways a baby with Down syndrome improves your life!
Those smiles! Those eyes! That sweet voice; the feeling of those tiny fingers curling around one of yours; their amazing ability to push their sibling's buttons before they are a year old and those sly smiles when the parents finally catch on; that determination: to crawl, to walk, to win the race; to read, to work the vending machine, to program the DVR; to win the video game; to outsmart the computer program; to make their own decisions and defend them with flawless logic and sly humor...
Who knew that being 'more like mainstream children than they are different' is as close to a threat as it is to a promise!?! Every baby with Down syndrome is unique and wonderful ~ I wish we had all known the joy and pride our children would bring us when we first heard their diagnosis.