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10 Reasons Why People Want Kids (and 10 Reasons They Don't)

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Rham is vegan, married and child-free; she loves nature and wildlife, has two dogs and six, sometimes seven, other four-legged boarders.

Why have kids? Ten arguments for why some people want a baby, and ten justifications for why others don't.

Why have kids? Ten arguments for why some people want a baby, and ten justifications for why others don't.

Why Do People Want Kids?

This is a question many couples ask themselves, and there are many reasons for and against having children. In this article, I will go over some of the ways that having children can positively impact your life, and I will also go over some of the ways that having children can negatively impact your life.

Reasons for and Against Having Kids

Reasons to Have ChildrenReasons to Not Have Children

They Want to Create a Family

Environmental Impact

To Carry on the Family Name and Values

Economic Impact

You Love Babies and Small Children

Stress Levels

Human Biology

Unhappiness

To Give and Receive Unconditional Love

Sleep

To Give Your Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence

Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits

To Give Meaning to Their Life

Overpopulation

To Create and Mold a Life

Logistics

To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents

Passing Down Physical and Mental Health Issues

Social Pressure and Expectations

Marital Issues

Ten Common Reasons to Have Children

Here are ten common reasons my friends and other people I know tell me when I ask them why they want to have kids.

  1. They Want to Create a Family
  2. To Carry on the Family Name and Values
  3. They Love Babies and Small Children
  4. Human Biology
  5. To Give and Receive Unconditional Love
  6. To Give Their Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence
  7. To Give Meaning to Their Life
  8. To Create and Mold a Life
  9. To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents
  10. Social Pressure and Expectations

1. They Want to Create a Family

People who were raised in a positive home environment with a stable family want to create that life with their significant other. They want to create a family that is full of joy and love where they can be affectionate towards their children. Essentially, they have placed a high priority on creating a family of their own like their parents before them.

2. To Carry on the Family Name and Values

There are plenty of people out there who want to carry on the family name and the family values. Of course, this tends to apply to the father's family name, but the point is that many prospective parents want to continue the historic family lineage. They find joy in knowing that their child will bear their last name and keep the family going. Again, this is all based around societal customs.

3. They Love Babies and Small Children

The idea of being around babies and young children might disgust some people but others love the notion of raising a little one from birth into adulthood. These people may want to relive the silly and fun parts of their childhood with their child.

4. It's Human Nature

The simple fact of biology is that we are hardwired to procreate and pass on our genes to the next generation. This biological imperative and drive are strong in many people, who feel the need to have and raise children.

5. To Give and Receive Unconditional Love

There is a certain type of bond between parent and child that is incredibly powerful. The unconditional love that a parent has for their offspring and vice versa is a motivator for some. They want to feel those strong emotions and share those emotions with their significant other and their children.

6. To Let Their Children (Who Don't Exist Yet) Experience the Joy of Existence

The idea of bringing another human into the world and the joy of seeing that person go through life is another powerful reason why couples want to have a child. Parents want to see their child grow up and become a productive member of society.

7. To Give Meaning to Their Life

While it may seem obvious to some, having a child completely changes your life, and it gives new meaning to your life. After having a child you become responsible for their life and because of that, your existence takes on a whole new meaning.

8. To Create and Mold a Life

Many people love the idea of getting to create and raise a child, one that they can share their love with. This concept is appealing because you get to determine how your child will turn out and what values they will have. Couples can find that type of experience exciting and gratifying.

9. To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents

Not everyone gets to grow up in a stable home environment with good parents. Many people grow up with parents who have serious flaws and so they decide that when they become parents they will not make the same mistakes.

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10. Social Pressure and Expectations

There is a lot of pressure on couples to have children, and this has been ingrained in society since the very beginning of time. Their mentality is that they have to have kids just like everyone else and be just like their parents. It has become an expectation that couples have children and start families.

Ten Common Reasons Why You Should Not Have Children

There are a lot of environmental, economic, and personal reasons that suggest having multiple children (or even one child) is not worth it in the long run. Here are ten of the most prominent reasons:

  1. Environmental Impact
  2. Economic Impact
  3. Stress Levels
  4. Unhappiness
  5. Sleep
  6. Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits
  7. Overpopulation
  8. Logistics
  9. Passing Down Physical and Mental Health Issues
  10. Marital Issues

1. Environmental Impact

With the current state of the environment, having a child is one of the most environmentally destructive things you can do. According to a study done by Lund University in Sweden, not having a kid can save “an average of 58.6 tonnes of CO2-equivalent emissions per year”. That is a massive amount of CO2, and it easily outpaces other individual efforts to cut down on personal CO2 emissions.

2. Economic Impact

According to the USDA, the cost of raising a child amounts to around $233,610 from birth until age 17. For many couples, this type of economic commitment is not feasible and having a child would put a lot of stress on the parents to provide economically for the child. This number goes up the more kids you have as well.

3. Stress Levels

The amount of stress placed on the parents while raising a child is enormous, particularly on the mother as she tends to wind up having the biggest burden. According to a study conducted by the University of Texas at Austin, a mother's self-reported stress levels increased by 20 to 22 percent after having a child. This level of stress continued for years after having the child, and the impact of such high-stress levels is poor health for both parents.

4. Unhappiness

While many people claim that having kids has made them happier, there is a growing mound of evidence that suggests that is not actually the case. According to work done by the British Psychological Association, having children dramatically increases unhappiness. People delude themselves into thinking that feelings of unhappiness will not crop up when they have kids but that is simply not the case. Having a child is a stressful event that places parents in a tough position and it leads to feelings of unhappiness.

5. Sleep

As one could imagine, parents do not get a lot of sleep, and this is not healthy for the body or the mind. There are a wide range of issues caused by sleep deprivation such as mood disorders, increased risk of heart disease, increased risk of diabetes, memory issues, high blood pressure, weight gain, and many others. The early years of raising a child are when this is the worst and having more than one child can make even more years of disordered sleeping pile up, which is terrible for one's health.

6. Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits

Much like poor sleep quality, poor eating habits and poor health increase when raising a child. It is all too easy to fall into the trap of eating processed food that damages one's health and not getting enough exercise and outdoor time. Seeing as your free time is severely restricted when you are raising a child, it can be difficult to live a healthy lifestyle. In fact, many non-parents report they live healthier lifestyles than parents.

7. Overpopulation

With the world's population now over 7 billion people, the competition for housing and resources is only becoming worse. The strain on the earth will only increase as the population does and we will get to the point where it is not sustainable for civilization to continue.

8. Logistics

The logistics of two parents raising a child can be difficult to navigate. With the costs of childcare factored in and the growing need for both parents to work full time, it puts even more stress on the parents to find a way to make everything work. This gets even more difficult if it is a single parent raising a child.

9. Passing Down Mental and Physical Issues

Many individuals have mental and physical health issues that run in the family and could be passed down to future generations. Having a child born with these issues may be something that potential parents do not want to deal with. This is particularly the case with mental health issues, which have been increasingly shown to have a genetic component that can be passed down.

10. Marital Issues

Research has shown that parenthood tends to have a negative impact on marriage due to the restrictions and stresses that come with raising a child. This negative impact can lead to other fissures in the marriage and the more children in the family correlated with lower parental satisfaction according to a meta-analysis from the Journal of Marriage and Family.

What to Do?

When you decide to bring a new life into this world, think about it many times and think as if you are your unborn child. Ask questions and answer them in your unborn child's perspective and not in yours. Think about the ramifications and consequences of having a child and the impact it will have on your life and the life of your significant other.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

Question: Are two children expensive for parents?

Answer: One child itself is extremely expensive for the earth. On top of that, not only is the earth paying the debts that humanity accumulated over centuries, children will be paying for the interests accrued over generations in the form of war, riots, conflict, food supply, water shortage, unbreathable air, etc. So, think about the children who will inhabit a world trashed with plastics.

Question: For what reason does someone take on other people's issues while NOT overextending the earth?

Answer: In today's overpopulation issues, it is always good to encourage those who want children to adopt and take care of those who are waiting to be with a family. People's issues affect everyone else in the world, directly or indirectly. When a farmer is sick, food production gets delayed; a road construction falls ill, road building will have one less worker to finish the job; when a husband beats his wife or children (and vice versa), their situation affects the neighbors and friends. When it comes to breeding one's own, however, it affects, not only other people's lives but everything on the planet (environment, wildlife, non-human animals, etc.) So the best way to take on other people's issues without adding population to the earth is to adopt children, adults, elderly, non-human animals AND educate people about the same.

Comments

Nat on August 09, 2020:

you missed one against:

A perspective that it is immoral to purposefully produce a consciousness with out it's consent

which runs contrary to the assumption that experiencing life is a privileged that no consciousness would refuse.

"Life is a gift" is true bullshit for a majority of the population.

Dana Jonynas on June 21, 2020:

There are over 7 billion people in this world STOP breeding like cockroaches! You give birth to a kid but do any of you say this is a miserable world where no one is happy (just look at our history). Life will take you on an emotional roller-coaster and then your just reward at the end will be you get sick and die. Lucky you you cute little baby! You want to give love rescue a dog it may not think exactly like you but it is made of the same material as you.

K on May 21, 2020:

As I read the comments, I thought about my daughter currently sleeping in her crib. She is not a useless mistake. Maybe bringing her into this world was selfish for my husband and me but I regret nothing. I am okay going without sleep if it means comforting her. I am okay with leftover peas and Cheerios as a meal here and there in the rush of caring for her. I am happy reading the same book 12 times in a row because she likes to laugh at all the characters. I am happy to help her learn about the world around her. I am so lucky to have this small person in my life and if that makes me selfish, then so be it

Many people have commented that Parents control a child into being a copy of them. If you know how to control a willful toddler, by all means please tell me your secret.

Each side is allowed to have their opinion but is it possible to be a little kinder in our words?

Umair on May 06, 2020:

Greetings,

Dear really helpful and useful information.

Umair Idrees on May 06, 2020:

Can anyone answer my question whether it is necessary to have children in Islam?

Anonymous on April 25, 2020:

Heres why I will NEVER have kids.

The

Are

Terrifying

Kids are loud, abnoxious, rude, selfish, bitchy, whiny, they break everything and then lie about it, I dont get why people are saying they make you a " better " person, are you saying that people who don't have or want kids are not good enough? Kids are also disgusting little shits. Like I was, and theres already too many people in the world.

Dcanter on March 02, 2020:

children are a disgrace, People that have/want kids have to own the circus they created in their life, is not anyone else’s problem. You miss work days, don’t dump your nasty little critters on your parents lap, realize the rest of us don’t have to find your Small savages cute. You made a huge mistake or several mistakes, you pay for it, you suffer for it, you deal with it. Having kids is the dumbest thing you can do to yourself.

Kritesh on February 29, 2020:

One more reason for having kids is that people want to control someone fully.Want to mould a life.Children give then feeling that they are god and can uphold a life.But this all goes for 7-8 years atmost.so after the time they start questioning....

Ritami on January 04, 2020:

The author has at least 8 pets at home...no comment

Nikos Alexopoulos on December 02, 2019:

So basically there is no selfless reason for having kids. We have kids to satisfy our own desires. The argument that we offer our kids existence is not rational, as since they did not exist before birth, they did not need anything. It is their birth that brings all their needs and desires, and then if we manage to satisfy these (which we won't), we think we are offering them something. It's like someone starting a forest fire and then manages to put it off and he expects our congratulations. And what if our kids are unhappy. What if they become crippled, what if they have depression, what if they have lingering disease towards death, what if they become homeless, what if, what if? Having kids is the superior selfish act, to satisfy our petty desires and run from our fears, to load it all to our children's head. Humanity is funny and tragic all the same

shaun rosenberg on October 19, 2019:

I find it funny that people actually think they will have a positive impact by not having kids. If you are in a developed country, chances are your country isn't even having enough kids to replace themselves, let alone increase the world population.

All of the population explosion that is happening is happening in places like Africa and the middle east. So, if your in Europe or America where there is added stress to our systems because of the shrinking generations you're not really doing anything positive by not having kids.

Ramilyn (author) from India on September 21, 2019:

You don't need to bring an unborn child into the world to show your love to someone who is completely dependent on you, though. There are already many orphans who would love to get that amazing love from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

April on September 16, 2019:

Children make people better humans. It is very sad that so many people think that having children is pointless... Make me sad for children growing up around this generation of negative millenials who think only of their own autonomy, and not what they can ever do for another. The gift of parenthood, whether planned or unplanned by the way, is one of the few blessings in life that shows us what an amazing love you can have for someone who is completely dependent upon you. Kind of like how we are completely dependent on God, the Father.

Unknown on September 09, 2019:

If your thinking having a baby is useless look at your self you are a child to your mother and father that means your calling yourself useless.

Rosesbeauty on August 06, 2019:

Guys your so right with everything your saying and all your opinions make total sense to me and i also have a very similar opinion too but i wont really talk abot details now because i dont have time

Boriana on July 21, 2019:

I never understood the idea that not having kids is selfish, especially for a woman.

So, choosing not to let a man have *** with me, not allowing my body to expand and get deformed, and choosing not to be sick for nine months is selfish???

Why is that choosing to NOT have something that I don't already have is considered selfish?

Furthermore, people who have children are NOT more loving than those who don't. They are giving birth to someone whom they will control vigorously for eighteen years. It's easy to "love" someone who does exactly what you want and becomes a replica of yourself for eighteen years.

A married couple without kids is actually the most loving because they are choosing to love grown adults who are "set in their ways" and will not be controlled - yet, they love them whether they are wrong on right.

Finally, no one talks about the BAD part of a woman having kids. Here is the timeline:

1. Usually, the woman is coerced into unprotected *** by a husband or partner who claims to be there for the child.

2. While pregnant, doctors abuse her through tons of unnecessary pap smear and pelvic exams which are painful and violating. If she refuses, they threaten to call CPS because his molestation, er, I mean, vaginal and breast exams are "good for the baby".

3. She gains weight, ages, and is constantly sick for nine months.

4. When the baby arrives, it tears the vagina or a C-section leaves her in pain for months.

5. After a few months of the stress and dealing with an overweight wifewith limited libido and smelly diapers, the man leaves for a thinner, younger wife.

6. The single mother seek welfare, Focus Hope food, and other government assistance.

7. The mother is so stressed that she becomes emotionally abusive.

8. When the child grows up, he/she is expected to be indebted to the parent forever because she struggled to survive.

Billie LeTourneau on June 29, 2019:

I used to fantasize about having children when I was younger - what would I name them? What would they look like? Who would they be? As I got a bit older - I was involved in a high school sweetheart relationship and I just knew he was the one and we would have kids together. Reality hit, he found other partners and I was left in the dust. I was with for 8 years before reality hit. My 20's consisted of a few awkward relationships with men that I knew would not be good fathers. I protected myself and I did not get pregnant. One big reason, I was poor as a box of rocks and was damn near homeless for quite a few years. In my 30s - I pulled myself out of that situation, I got a great job in DC and I met a new boyfriend. I moved to DC and lived with him. The situation got bad pretty quickly, I needed to get away from him and he is now in jail for raping a teenager. NOT FATHER MATERIAL THERE - and I am glad that I was on the pill. Then in my late 30's I met a new man - he was in the Army. He was wonderful (at the time) - I thought to myself, wow - this is the guy that I want to marry and start a family with!!!! The relationship soured when he came back from a deployment and he had totally changed. He was abusive and cruel. It crushed me and I had to leave him. There was NO WAY that I could have had children with that man. I had given up on finding a husband at that point. I had just turned 40 and I was barely getting by. I live on the outskirts of Washington DC, where everything is super expensive and it is hard for even middle income people and families to survive. It was not until I turned 43 years old that I met my true love and at 44 - I finally got married. My husband and I talked about having children, but I felt that I was way too old to even consider it. So, now I am married and I have pets that I adore. I have a better paying job and we are in a good place. I wish that I would have met my husband back in my 20s, things would have been so much different now. I don't have kids, but I do not lose sleep over it. I have seen others with children that are very happy and I know people with children that are miserable. Each one of us has a life story to tell. Not everyone wants kids and then some actually do want to be parents. I will say that I have witnessed some lousy parenting in this area though. I am not saying that I would have ever been a perfect parent but my God - I have seen some really eye opening situations - where I felt really sorry for some kids. Then there are the parents that have everything right. Both parents work, they have a beautiful house and their kids are very well taken care of. They are lucky. LUCKY! Not everyone is lucky. There are parents that are miserable. So, with my own experience - I am okay with not having kids. I have seen too much happen and the pressure on women to be this perfect Mom is awkward. I have often wondered why my Mom had me. I think it was because that is just what women did back in the 60s and 70's. You graduate - and if you do not go to college, you get married and have kids. I do not think that I was planned but I do think that I was cared about.There was some obvious abuse as a child, but I will not get into that much because it is painful to talk about. My Mom was not a bad Mom but she did go through some bad times and I do feel like it was taken out on me at the time. My Mom was killed in a car accident when I was young - so I never got a chance to ask my Mom why she had me. I do have some wonderful niece and nephews and I am thankful for them. I do however fear for their future because this world is definitely a challenging place to live in! People are so cruel and judgmental. So before someone is so quick to judge why someone does not have kids, each of us has a past that contributes to that. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Whether it be by choice or by circumstances, remember that not everyone is lucky and blessed, whether they have kids or not. As for having a 40 year old body? I celebrated my 40th birthday in a dojo at the time, because I was really into Japanese martial arts. It was wonderful. I was very fit then and I still look good now. Not because I did not have any kids, but because I was very active. I am now a professional folk dancer in the DC area and I dance with women half my age and that have children. They have become a whole new extension of my human family. I am thankful everyday for surviving what I have been through. Things could have been different yes! But I consider myself lucky now. There is so much misery out there, I really can't focus on why I do not have children all of the time. Life is too short to worry about things in the past - though I have learned a great deal from it. I live in the now and of course I worry about the future. That is only human. For all of you out there - whether you have kids or not. Please be kind to people. You just do not know what they have been through and what they deal with n a daily basis. I know it is hard not to judge. We constantly compare our lives to others and that is human also. But there does come a time when you just need to pay attention to yourself and your immediate loved ones to get through another day. It takes strength and it takes a little bit of faith. When and if you lose that, that is when things can go really bad, really quick. It is not hard to notice - if you look at the news headlines everyday. Stay Strong people! We have so much to deal with.

Nick on June 02, 2019:

In my opinion having a children is useless. Those who experience social pressure, be stronger and don't pay attention to their words. Because it's you who will be spending money, time and experiencing stress all the time. Just imagine. You are right now 25-30 years old. How old would you be when your child will become an independent adult? 45-50 years old. Don't you have your own dreams to fulfill? Why do you need to spend 2 decades to raise a child and in the end experience that your life was unsuccessful?

S on May 17, 2019:

Every person has his or her reasons for having or not having children. The worst reason to have a child is due to societal pressures. I'm sorry but unless you are willing to write me a blank check or sign a contract to agree to help raise the child you can keep your mouth shut.

Gerardo on February 12, 2019:

You are in a mistake, is not necesary to have someone of your same blood to feel and give unconditional love, you can find that feeling sometimes in people who dont have your blood, also there are lots of parents betrayed, hurted, and killed by their biological sons, in ancient times and now, stop telling the people that only blood parents or descendants can have unconditional love.

shaun rosenberg on January 31, 2019:

I wish people would stop with this "Environmental impact" thing. If you are in a developed country you are actually having the problem of people not having enough kids to replace themselves.

Developing countries have problems with people having 10 kids.

Developed countries have problems with people having 1-2 kids.

We need to all be 2-3 kids to maintain a stable population. That means developed countries need to have more and developing countries need to have less.

Emad on January 22, 2019:

I am an uncle, I'm not sure if I personally want kids or not. My wife wants kids but she doesn't know why. I think it's due to social pressure as she always mentions that theirs so many pregnant girls everywhere. I dont feel social pressure at all

LookhereU on January 20, 2019:

Very early in my teaching career (early 80's), I had an elderly lunchroom worker noticed that I did not have children after my fourth year of marriage. She was perplexed because the culture called for babies married, employed, or not. This was a Head Start program filled with unwanted and neglected children. Her comment to me was, "you better have you some babies so somebody will take care of you when you are old". My sociology professor said that was the main reason (at the time) people procreated. An old age insurance policy. I always thought both were profoundly wrong. I am 60. I have no children. I have two dogs and and a great husband. I never wanted children. I just didn't feel the tug of motherly instinct to nurture a child for 20 years of my life. Selfish? Probably. Thankful for my decision? definitely. I was financially able to retire 3 years ago,debt free. Could I have done that with children. no. Some of my friend's children are still at home with them. Many boomeranged. Some got sick. Some can't or will not hold a job of any kind. Some just don't want to leave.Their Moma is still cutting the crust off their bread and helping to raise their children. Hurray for those who did have children and they did well, with both parents who stayed together and Mom stayed home and all is well. I just don't know many folks like that.

The dynamics of society have changed since the 50's,in so many ways yet some still chase the Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle which Never existed in the first place. Am I happy I didn't have children? Ecstatic. Just short of smug. Too many children are born to people who can not, will not, and have no intention of raising children to become responsible adults. The cycle repeats itself generation after generation. I know this from my 30 years in public education. I know this from cousins in my own family. I know this from parents telling me they can not wait until school starts again or put my kid in special ed so I can get government money. Parents blame the bad kid down the street, TV, the school system, the government, pick your whipping boy, but somebody else is to blame for the failures and disappointments and that of their children. I could say a lot more but in short, too many children are raised by institutions not nuclear families. Two institutions that HAVE thrived over the past 20-30 years are indicative of 2-parent, financially responsible, mature, and spiritual families; daycare and the prison system. Both getting bigger all the time.

Ivetta on January 16, 2019:

No, no, no ! There are only negative side effects. Today we often do not have time for ourselves, we lose ourselves in everyday work, in communication with people... There is no time to think about ourselves. We become stressed, tired, both emotionally and physically. No time to travel, no money and time to do whatever you enjoy (yes, some may enjoy their children, but it is rare this case). Then why children? So nonsensical, pointless use of time and energy. And then you die.

Naomi on November 23, 2018:

Have them for the experience of having them - it happens naturally when you have sex so it’s as if it’s a gift of life to have the opportunity to have children if you can (maybe wasting a huge learning opportunity if you can have them but choose not to) - if you commit to doing the right thing, you’ll become a better person.

christabel on November 15, 2018:

It good to have baby's because your life becomes more episodes to leave when you have a baby

Marwa on November 10, 2018:

There is a whole perspective in life that you don’t understand in life until you have children. All the writers mentioned reasons aren’t generally the right reasons except maybe human nature. We have children because they make the world a better place, they make us & others happy with all their good qualities & hope in the future. They make us better by being selfless & remind us of what’s good in life. Not to mention other reasons. You have several dogs despite it being economically not good for example, we don’t think about those things when you have a loved one. You have kids almost for the same reasons you have partners. The writer just “doesn’t get it” because she never had any. If you ask any parent if they would have their kids again & again the majority will say yes for sure as their kids are the most beautiful thing in life for many parents despite all the “disadvantages” you mention. Having said that it’s fine if some people do not want any. It’s their choice. Just like some people do not want to get married. But the majority will naturally want to.

Jack on November 01, 2018:

It urks me that a bunch of people here say things like "If your parents chose not to have children, you wouldn't be here writing this article, exploring the world", etc.

I wish my parents chose not to have children. They abused and neglected me my whole life, I've spent most of my life in poverty, battling hereditary conditions. I have never been happy, and considering my age, I doubt I ever will be.

I would have preferred not to have been born. Life is not a gift. Something forced upon someone without their concent is not a gift. Some might like it, but that's coincidental. You're not making children for the children, you're making them for themselves.

And all the people who claim that they never wanted children, but then had one and now that's the meaning of their lives - yey for you, but that's also irrelevant. I'm glad it worked out for you, and I'm glad you're making the best of the situation, but that has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to have kids, and with whether or not people should.

My parents wanted children. Because they wanted a toy. But they didn't want the responsibility, nor did they want something that would grow into a person. They were also in no financial, social, or personal position to have a child. They had one for fun. No one should do that. It doesn't turn out well for anyone.

fKids on October 16, 2018:

First time ever that I see someone listing reasons why people don't want to have kids and it isn't all just "become they are a shitty human being"

jewel on October 01, 2018:

why just why

Donald on September 19, 2018:

I have two kids and i love them for bringing them to the world.

GaryHobson on September 15, 2018:

I never had kids because of my wife's mental illness. After 30 years I never had a yearning for kids, nor any regrets. Sometimes I think what a burden it would have been financially but life is fine without them besides future generations will be subjected to the devastation of climate change. Who wants to live in year round heat?

Life with a Purpose on August 16, 2018:

Life without kids is BORING! There is no amount of travel, no career pinnacle, no material indulgence that can hold a candle to the joy of raising a family.

Here’s a reason the author of this article never considered: having children makes you a better person. Most people would never learn the importance of self-sacrifice and devotion to the needs of others without having children. Children also bind communities together, giving parents a communal incentive to stand against corrosive influences like crime and for amenities like parks and recreational venues.

As a previous poster also mentioned, kids are hilarious! My teenagers’ quick wits and silly antics keep me laughing.

Children also create a commitment to the future. I want the world to be a better place for my kids, for their kids, and so on. It’s not some abstraction to hope for a better world...it is an imperative to fight for their future.

And for all the Henny Pennys worrying that our planet is “overpopulated,” I offer the two points in closing:

1. Paul Ehrlich’s prognostications layed out in his manifesto, Population Bomb, were laughably wrong. Even Ehrlich has since had a child.

2. If the planet actually were “overpopulated,” it would be a self-correcting problem, fixed by the many woeful prognostications Ehrlich predicted were imminent. Alas, population bombs are about as credible as the former hysteria over peak oil.

Steph on August 09, 2018:

Hi Maria, I agree, but what is the solution?!

William on August 06, 2018:

The thing that always struck me as weird about this is that 9 out of 10 of these reasons are all ego based. ie. The adult wants the kid for their own reasons.

María Guadalupe on August 03, 2018:

While I really apreciate that not everyone wants kids and that's fine, tehre is small thing that bothers me: everyone talk about having keds sucking all your money and having to work a lot to support a family. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. This is the result of a terrible set of economic decisions. Working class families shouldnt need to have both parents working full time and having no time to themselves. And actually, the economy allowed families to subsist, own houses and a car, and take holidays on ONE source of income alone.

Of couse people need to make sure they want kids and that they want kids for the right reason. But to have built a society in wich only the people who decide to not have kids get to purse their interests, have valuable experiences and etc, is BONKERS.

It's BONKERS. It's an economical setting that makes sure that families are impoverished, children are raised by the tv, parents are stressed and alienated, and that the people who actually have free time to make questions and be critical and politically active are the ones that leave no children behind.

Let's make sure to point out that having to opt-out of parenthood to have the possibility of having free time and savings is a dilemma that capitalism invented.

Charles Wansings on July 27, 2018:

My wife and I are 42 yrs old, married for 11 years with no kids. Guess what we get to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, for the rest of our lives? Whatever the heck we like!!!

And as a bonus, we’ve amassed so much savings from not having kids, we will retire early.

Sure I see people with kids and feel bad sometimes since they look so cute, but then again, I feel the same way with someone who has a dog (and we don’t want that responsibility either).

My theory is, we are both the youngest in our families and we still want all the attention on ourselves. Call it selfish, but thats the way it is....

Connor on July 17, 2018:

I definitely don't want to have children. Not now. Not ever. However the author comes off as very angry at her own parents/family and lots of others she's never met.

I spent most of my life raising my parents. I literally had to give up on a pursuit of my own life to make sure they survived. Now that I am nearly 30, I want to create a life for myself. If I had children, I would dedicate nearly 100% of my time to them and be eternally upset for never pursuing my desires.

It's possible to explain to people why I don't want to have children without being rude or trying to invalidate his/her joy in having children. What I tell them is a lot like the paragraph above. Folks are generally pretty understanding.

Do I think there are a lot of terrible parents out there? Oh yes! I wish my own parents were not allowed to have children. That being said I won't resort to blasting off on anonymous others with different viewpoints than my own.

Didn't this article begin with the author being upset about people criticizing her for not having children? Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Cat on July 17, 2018:

Preach girl! Everyone thinks you NEED to have a child but really? Its optional. People eally don't think about how much you have to give up when aving a child. Money, personal hapiness... Sometimes you have to cut connections with some people or even get over an addiction fore having kids. You have to be selfless when having kids. That's what makes these reasons invalid and the people saying them unprepared for having children.

J.ca on July 05, 2018:

It's good to promote thought on the matter rather than just everyone filling up the already overpopulated planet for the wrong reasons.

I personally feel that not enough people put time or energy into improving -- themselves ---, saying they don't have time etc because they have kids.

Truth seems to be that it's not your potential kids' job to make the world a better place, to contribute, and study - it's Yours! Don't be lazy & have kids saying 'they'll make the world a better place', it's everyone's responsibility to do this regardless of whether you have kids or not.

Irony on July 02, 2018:

Good thing your parents decided to have children... ;)

Brent on July 02, 2018:

This article reads like the author has a chip on her shoulder. Anger management might help you let go of the feeling that people are judging you when they ask you why you don't have kids.

Aside from that... People have children because it's the experience they want to have. Very simple. There are a million specific reasons to have kids just as there are a million reasons not too. Why do we have to boil it down to one... Or a list of 10? There's personal growth to be had, the same as starting a business, or a Ying a sport, or.... choosing not to have kids.

For people who don't want kids, they choose not to because that's the experience they want for themselves.

Pretty simple.

Thinking on June 24, 2018:

I suppose if this was the popular opinion we wont be here to read this article...but looking at every listed reason here to have a child they are all very selfish and egotistic..t.o be happy, reason for living , to experience the laughter.... we create life for our amusement? The more likely truth is that we are parasites driven to multiply until this planet and its beauty is totally void of everything. Yes, that's a sombre thought and sounds really pessimistic ...but think about it ...

Sociable on June 24, 2018:

Its only point number ten I consider reasonable not to just have children just because they want children. Please think of what your generation want to inherit from you not that you will invite people to come and suffer in this world

Butterwutter on June 21, 2018:

Cool

Tbs on June 19, 2018:

Wow why do people need to have kids not need want

DJ Hurst on June 14, 2018:

It stops you getting old and bitter like all the childless people I know.

Nimster on June 10, 2018:

AWESOME. I INTERVIEWED 100 PAREMTS AND ASKED WHY THEY HAD KIDS? AND 90 % WERE MAD,SAID WELL ITS TIME, EVERYONE HAS KIDS, ITS FUN. THEN I ASKED WHY WHEN KIDS GET TO 15 ,WE CANT WAIT TO GET RID OF THEM AND HOPE THEY PAY THEIR COLLGE AND GET A JOB?? THEY WERE SPEECHLESS. IT COSTS 300,000 TO RAISE A KID... PEOPLE DI IT CAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF CRITICSM AND WILL LOOK BAD AMONG FRIENDS AND FAMILY. ENJOY LIFE.. YOU HAVE KIDS TO GIVE THEM A GEAT LIFE AND TEACH THEM WHAT YOU LEARNT IN LIFE AND MAKE THEM SUCCESFUL IN THE COMMUNITY AND MAKE THE WORLD BETTER

LaLa on June 08, 2018:

So it seems you need a license or degree to practice anything except parenthood. It is a very serious responsibility and yet so many people don't think before bringing children into this world. The average person thinks that love is enough to sustain the life of child but let's face it, some people's idea of love is debatable. I believe that if you live a life that is less than anything that is fulfilling, then what makes you think that you have what it takes to enhance and support new life. People in general are selfish and don't put much thought into the quality of life they can afford an innocent child who didn't ask to be here. I believe in God and procreation. I also believe that it is sinful the amount of inconsideration that people have when it comes to it. If one in fact decides to procreate, it is no longer about you but instead putting all of your efforts and ability into nurturing that life that you are ultimately responsible for. Don't have kids for the sake of having kids. It is not a rite of passage. Kids life matter.

nobody on June 07, 2018:

The only and true reason to have children is written in the blible: "Be fruitful and multiply"

GoneCrazy on June 04, 2018:

Found this post trying to wrack my brain for an answer as to why people choose to have kids. To me it makes perfect sense that your life is basically over once you have a kid, I just don't understand what people don't understand about this. Kids are the ultimate money and time suck. Take any goal or value you have for yourself in life, and almost certainly, having a child in the mix will make it difficult if not impossible. I can't understand if the world's gone crazy, or I have.

wizard on June 02, 2018:

I have been with my partner for 7 years, and some of our friends are asking us about marriage and children. When I ask people of why they are interested I get the same answers as this article. I am not some one who is keen on becoming a mother. Recently I have thought of perhaps bringing a child or adopting one but for different reasons. I usually meet people who I feel should not have kids because they are either very unintelligent or narrow minded. It feels like the wrong people give birth to children and pass on very shallow views to them. It doesn't matter how educated some one may be, they can still see the world only from their point of view (the judgemntal view). I would like to see more feminists, environmentalists, and activists have children. I would like to bring a child and teach them about acceptance. I don't have to give birth to them. I live in a developed country and I want to help a child in a developing country. After all, the deveolped countries expoit the developing countries. Also, I feel that may be this child could contribute to the society and make it a better place because no matter how hard I tried, I feel that I failed at it. Of course, there is no guarantee that my child will turn out to be a non-judgemental human being or even become this very selfish human being. So, this reason could also be a silly one that coud be added to the list.

キャット on May 28, 2018:

I totally agree with this

Jasmine on May 27, 2018:

Really not a fan of children, I'm sick of seeing them on every bus and ever train.

I'd like to go out and NOT see kids everywhere I go.

That'd be nice.

There's over 7 billion of us, so eventually people need to calm down on the childbirth a bit.

Vik from Pune, Maharashtra on May 10, 2018:

great article, I would love to have a kid with my wife

but I cannot find a decent reason why I would want to - except that I would love to have a kid with my wife and that it would make her happy.

but i cannot stop thinking about the crazy financial and emotional factor involved, I dont want to dive in and think later. I want to count the cost before building my tower, even before laying the foundation

Why should I want a kid?

I just dont have a decent logical answer and maybe there isn't one anyway

Still thinking...

Jus sayin on April 24, 2018:

I'm glad i came across the read. Very easy to understand, and as a person who is choosing to live the rest of her life childless, a supportive branch to climb up on. The more articles, blogs, opinions shedding light on lifestyles sans children and the potential joys to be experienced from doing so, just creates more of a safe place for people like myself to exist online.

Random dude on April 23, 2018:

this honestly feels like a sarcastic article bashing everyone that has decided to have kids. Good read.

Child-free on April 16, 2018:

1. New social life

By the time you reach the age of thinking about prospective parenthood, which, on average, is slightly over the hump of 30, you are tiring of a lot of your friends. Many you will have known since school or university and been heartily sick of them for years. I met most of the friends I have now at the school gates, or when accompanying one of my children to sleepovers. Gradually, you can edge out the old friends who have begun to bore you because now you’re boring them back about the difficulty of finding nursery places and they are going to run a mile.

2. Something to talk about with your partner

As with friends, so with partners. Those first few years giggling in bed, and sometimes even having sex there, are losing their allure. Puzzling over the meaning of life and the proper reaction to a piece of contemporary art is less of a rush than it once was. You start to realise that you are average and dull like everyone else. Having children means you can stop trying to be Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre and get on with the real meaning of life – wiping excrement from children’s bottoms. As the immortal PJ O’Rourke put it: “Don’t try and come on like Jean-Paul Belmondo/Aspire instead to two kids and a condo.”

3. Laughter

A lot is talked about how children give you someone to love and how they offer a sense of purpose. What isn’t so often mentioned is that they are very funny. If I tried to explain how they are funny and the countless ways they have made me laugh over the years, the stories would sound lame. OK, I can’t resist it anyway. Here’s one off the top of my head. I was walking in the park and saw a rabbit. I said to my then seven-year-old, in an admittedly patronising fashion: “Look, darling, there’s a bunny rabbit.”

She shook her head despairingly and replied: “Daddy, I’m not a baby. Don’t call it a bunny rabbit.”

She glared disapprovingly, then snapped: “It’s a bunny.”

You had to be there. But believe me, I multiplied my laugh rate 10 times more than when I was childless.

4. You stop thinking about throwing yourself under a bus

Before you have children, you are quite likely to have a number of philosophical crises about life, death and meaninglessness. Is it all worth it? “There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide” said Camus. However, after children you realise there are other questions, after all – whether Beany Babies have souls and if there are fairies at the bottom of the garden, how can they stand the smell of the composter? These kinds of inquiries, which will be incessant, usually leave no room for thoughts of self-annihilation.

5. Beauty

Children are not only funny, they are beautiful. Even ugly ones are thought beautiful by their parents. Simply surrounding yourself with creatures so visually pleasing makes every day an aesthetic delight.

So go ahead – do it. Have some kids. I won’t say you’ll never regret it. In fact, you’ll probably frequently regret it. But it’s a hell of an experience, and if you consider that you want to be brave and adventurous, don’t go on a canoe down the Orinoco, bin the condoms and starting stencilling the spare room with u