The 10 Worst Things About Pregnancy
Having given birth just a mere three weeks ago, everything about pregnancy is still fresh on my mind. The bliss of "Oh, I Forget Everything! Let's Have Another Child" is so far from the realm of possibility right now that I need to write everything I hated about pregnancy down right now to remind my future self not to rush into Child Number Two.
It will come as no secret for anyone close to me (just my husband) that I was not the biggest fan of being pregnant. After a day of a lot of false smiles and faking the funk, I would come home and dump a lot of my annoyances and frustrations out on him. While there are a lot of things I did enjoy about being pregnant (blog on that coming later) and one of my greatest joys is staring at me right now with big, brown eyes, I want to get out everything I didn't like for others to be able to relate, complain, and vent with me if they aren't exactly a big fan of pregnancy and all the symptoms occupied with it. I have listed these in order from This Stinks to OMG! This is the Worst Thing Ever.
Problem: I have always frequented the bathroom a lot, but pregnancy took my trips to the restroom to a whole new level. I had to pee again while actually peeing. It starts off bad in the first trimester and then gets progressively worse until the moment of delivery. There were many times that the pressure on my bladder was so intense that I looked "down there" to see if maybe I was peeing out my son. Then, there are the times when you lose control of your bladder and some pee comes out after you sneeze or cough or a lot of pee comes out after you throw up, causing you to think that your water has broken until you force your husband to smell your underwear after which he determines that the liquid on your panties is, in fact, urine and not amniotic fluid.
Solution: Wear Depends or permanently live in the bathroom the remainder of the pregnancy. Setting up camp in the bathroom will come in handy for another pregnancy problem mentioned later in this blog.
9. Lack of Sleep
Problem: As a baby shower gift, pregnancy decides to give you a big case of I Can't Sleeps right before you have a baby who will also give you the same exact gift! How thoughtful! Luckily for me, the pregnancy gods blessed me with the ability to sleep almost right up until the day I gave birth. However, toward the end, you get so big it's hard to find a position in the bed in which you can contort yourself into REM. Oh, and you also wake up every 1-2 hours to pee.
Solution: Body pillows might help, but I suggest learning to sleep siting up on the toilet because we all know that's where you are going to spend a majority of your time.
8. Being Big
Problem: Seeing that a human grew inside of me for about 9 months, it was only natural that I myself would get bigger as the being inside of me got bigger. I didn't have a problem with that. While I didn't want to stay that way forever, I embraced my growing belly. What I did have a problem with, though, was the fact that the cute, little monster inside of me messed with my food and exercise game. If I ate too much or even ate normally, I felt like I was going to explode, and eating too much is something I genuinely enjoy doing. Likewise, if I did the exercises I typically did pre-pregnancy (running and yoga), I felt like my sweet bundle would rip open my bladder and all the remnants inside of me would spill out, which would stink on many levels.
Solution: Micro meals and slow walking. Basically, you can only eat a morsel at a time and walk at the speed of an injured turtle.
7. Sciatic Nerve Pain
Problem: Since my joints, ligaments, muscles, and remaining body parts were being stretched to astronomical new levels, I developed sciatic nerve pain that radiated from my butt down my leg. Sometimes it would be come so intense that I momentarily would become paralyzed with pain at inopportune times like using the bathroom. I will let you use your imagine on that one.
Solution: Cut of your legs and butt and hips and feet while you are at it.
6. Food Aversions
Problem: In a cruel twist of fate, contrary to the movies and TV, I wasn't some crazy pregnant lady begging her husband to get her ice cream at 3 AM to satisfy her sweet craving. No, instead I was some crazy pregnant lady begging her husband to throw away his Asian food at 3 AM on a redeye flight back to our home because the leftover stench from underneath his seat was wafting up to my nostrils causing me to be sick. Yep, I rarely craved food but instead despised it, especially in the first trimester. For a couple weeks all I could stomach was toast, popsicles, bland soups, and on one occasion Greek yogurt bars. I was really looking forward to being that pregnant woman stuffing her face with a tub of ice cream and peanut butter on the couch. Oh well maybe next time.
Solution: Try eating a gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, nut-free, sugar-free, fat-free, vegan diet. So essentially just suck on ice cubes.
Problem: Unlike regular vomiting, pregnancy vomiting hits you very quickly, and you sometimes don't have time to make it to a trash can or a toilet and sometimes it sprays all over on the kitchen floor or your husband's shoes which were right next to both a toilet and a trash can. It also comes in rapid succession, and you don't feel even remotely better when it's finished. You feel as if you have been hit by ten thousands trucks, and you need to lie down forever. Luckily, for me this only happened about once a week in what I am dubbing the "Terrible Weeks" of the latter half of the first trimester and the beginning part of the second trimester.
Solution: Again decide to live in the bathroom or permanently attach a trash can to your body right below your mouth.
Problem: Not to be confused with actually vomiting, gagging was worse because instead of having actual evidence so people could feel sorry for me I would just make weird sounds and faces at random times. Lots of things would make me uncontrollably gag. Taking my vitamins. The smell of my car. The odor of the reed diffuser in our bathroom. And oddly enough the shear thought of peppermints. Gagging could lead to vomiting, but it happened a lot more often and continued throughout the whole pregnancy.
Solution: Live in a bubble because you cannot take the chance of any sense hitting you at any given time.
Problem: I only experienced contractions for a few hours since I had a c-section and never had Braxton Hicks, but even in that time I was able to determine how much I didn't like them. They mainly happened in my lower back and groin area and came every 3-5 minutes. During that time, I would scream and squeeze James' hand. They stopped me in my tracks and rendered me unable to move, think, or formulate coherent words. Luckily, in the scheme of pregnancy they don't last that long.
Solution: In all seriousness I suggest looking up or taking a class on how to cope with contractions. I did and some of the stuff I learned worked well. They still stink, but they mean that pregnancy is almost over, which stunk more!
Problem: To put this delicately I didn't just have constipation. Oh I had to defecate but the problem was, how to say this, the floodgates would not open. I would park my rear end on the toilet and wait and wait and wait. The urge would be incredible. I would gear up to let it all out and then...nothing. The pain was intense. I sat there for literally hours, practically all night. I would meditate, breathe, and do anything to relax the muscles down there, but it was fruitless. I reached a point in my struggles in which I almost had to make a decision in my marriage that I never thought I would come to. I came painfully close to asking my husband to ummm perform duties akin to a dentist who has to extract a tooth out of a patient's mouth. Luckily, I waited it out and found some medicine and food that got things rolling.
Solution: Ask your husband to perform dentist duties. It would have solved things a lot faster. Your relationship would never be the same, but, hey, at least you won't be in pain.
Problem: This was by far the worst because it lasted pretty much the whole pregnancy. I would wake up feeling pretty good and by the end of breakfast it would creep up again and get progressively worse by the end of the day. It started Week 6, was the worse at Week 10 where I lied in bed the whole week, tapered off by around Week 18, seemed to disappear by Week 30-32, and started again on Week 35. The nausea consisted of a combination of gagging, smell aversions, headaches, weird tastes, vomiting, fatigue, and an overall crappy feeling.
Solution: Unisom with a side of complaining helped.
I hope you can find this relatable if you are having a hard time with pregnancy. Sometimes it was nice to just have other women with whom to vent and complain. If you just found out you are pregnant, I swear it is well worth it. Good luck, you got it girl!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.