10 Reasons Why People Want Kids (and 10 Reasons They Don't)
Why Do People Want Kids?
This is a question many couples ask themselves, and there are many reasons for and against having children. In this article, I will go over some of the ways that having children can positively impact your life, and I will also go over some of the ways that having children can negatively impact your life.
Reasons for and Against Having Kids
Reasons to Have Children
Reasons to Not Have Children
They Want to Create a Family
To Carry on the Family Name and Values
You Love Babies and Small Children
To Give and Receive Unconditional Love
To Give Your Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence
Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits
To Give Meaning to Their Life
To Create and Mold a Life
To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents
Passing Down Physical and Mental Health Issues
Social Pressure and Expectations
Ten Common Reasons to Have Children
Here are ten common reasons my friends and other people I know tell me when I ask them why they want to have kids.
- They Want to Create a Family
To Carry on the Family Name and Values
- They Love Babies and Small Children
- Human Biology
- To Give and Receive Unconditional Love
- To Give Their Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence
- To Give Meaning to Their Life
- To Create and Mold a Life
- To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents
- Social Pressure and Expectations
1. They Want to Create a Family
People who were raised in a positive home environment with a stable family want to create that life with their significant other. They want to create a family that is full of joy and love where they can be affectionate towards their children. Essentially, they have placed a high priority on creating a family of their own like their parents before them.
2. To Carry on the Family Name and Values
There are plenty of people out there who want to carry on the family name and the family values. Of course, this tends to apply to the father's family name, but the point is that many prospective parents want to continue the historic family lineage. They find joy in knowing that their child will bear their last name and keep the family going. Again, this is all based around societal customs.
3. They Love Babies and Small Children
The idea of being around babies and young children might disgust some people but others love the notion of raising a little one from birth into adulthood. These people may want to relive the silly and fun parts of their childhood with their child.
4. It's Human Nature
The simple fact of biology is that we are hardwired to procreate and pass on our genes to the next generation. This biological imperative and drive are strong in many people, who feel the need to have and raise children.
5. To Give and Receive Unconditional Love
There is a certain type of bond between parent and child that is incredibly powerful. The unconditional love that a parent has for their offspring and vice versa is a motivator for some. They want to feel those strong emotions and share those emotions with their significant other and their children.
6. To Let Their Children (Who Don't Exist Yet) Experience the Joy of Existence
The idea of bringing another human into the world and the joy of seeing that person go through life is another powerful reason why couples want to have a child. Parents want to see their child grow up and become a productive member of society.
7. To Give Meaning to Their Life
While it may seem obvious to some, having a child completely changes your life, and it gives new meaning to your life. After having a child you become responsible for their life and because of that, your existence takes on a whole new meaning.
8. To Create and Mold a Life
Many people love the idea of getting to create and raise a child, one that they can share their love with. This concept is appealing because you get to determine how your child will turn out and what values they will have. Couples can find that type of experience exciting and gratifying.
9. To Fix the Mistakes of Their Parents
Not everyone gets to grow up in a stable home environment with good parents. Many people grow up with parents who have serious flaws and so they decide that when they become parents they will not make the same mistakes.
10. Social Pressure and Expectations
There is a lot of pressure on couples to have children, and this has been ingrained in society since the very beginning of time. Their mentality is that they have to have kids just like everyone else and be just like their parents. It has become an expectation that couples have children and start families.
Ten Common Reasons Why You Should Not Have Children
There are a lot of environmental, economic, and personal reasons that suggest having multiple children (or even one child) is not worth it in the long run. Here are ten of the most prominent reasons:
- Environmental Impact
- Economic Impact
- Stress Levels
- Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits
- Passing Down Physical and Mental Health Issues
- Marital Issues
1. Environmental Impact
With the current state of the environment, having a child is one of the most environmentally destructive things you can do. According to a study done by Lund University in Sweden, not having a kid can save “an average of 58.6 tonnes of CO2-equivalent emissions per year”. That is a massive amount of CO2, and it easily outpaces other individual efforts to cut down on personal CO2 emissions.
2. Economic Impact
According to the USDA, the cost of raising a child amounts to around $233,610 from birth until age 17. For many couples, this type of economic commitment is not feasible and having a child would put a lot of stress on the parents to provide economically for the child. This number goes up the more kids you have as well.
3. Stress Levels
The amount of stress placed on the parents while raising a child are enormous, particularly on the mother as she tends to wind up having the biggest burden. According to a study conducted by the University of Texas at Austin, a mother's self-reported stress levels increased by 20 to 22 percent after having a child. This level of stress continued for years after having the child, and the impact of such high stress levels is poor health for both parents.
While many people claim that having kids has made them happier, there is a growing mound of evidence that suggests that is not actually the case. According to work done by the British Psychological Association, having children dramatically increases unhappiness. People delude themselves into thinking that feelings of unhappiness will not crop up when they have kids but that is simply not the case. Having a child is a stressful event that places parents in a tough position and it leads to feelings of unhappiness.
As one could imagine, parents do not get a lot of sleep, and this is not healthy for the body or the mind. There are a wide range of issues caused by sleep deprivation such as mood disorders, increased risk of heart disease, increased risk of diabetes, memory issues, high blood pressure, weight gain, and many others. The early years of raising a child are when this is the worst and having more than one child can make even more years of disordered sleeping pile up, which is terrible for one's health.
6. Poor Eating and Lifestyle Habits
Much like poor sleep quality, poor eating habits and poor health increase when raising a child. It is all too easy to fall into the trap of eating processed food that damages one's health and not getting enough exercise and outdoor time. Seeing as your free time is severely restricted when you are raising a child, it can be difficult to live a healthy lifestyle. In fact, many non-parents report they live healthier lifestyles than parents.
With the world's population now over 7 billion people, the competition for housing and resources is only becoming worse. The strain on the earth will only increase as the population does and we will get to the point where it is not sustainable for civilization to continue.
The logistics of two parents raising a child can be difficult to navigate. With the costs of childcare factored in and the growing need for both parents to work full time, it puts even more stress on the parents to find a way to make everything work. This gets even more difficult if it is a single parent raising a child.
9. Passing Down Mental and Physical Issues
Many individuals have mental and physical health issues that run in the family and could be passed down to future generations. Having a child born with these issues may be something that potential parents do not want to deal with. This is particularly the case with mental health issues, which have been increasingly shown to have a genetic component that can be passed down.
10. Marital Issues
Research has shown that parenthood tends to have a negative impact on marriage due to the restrictions and stresses that come with raising a child. This negative impact can lead to other fissures in the marriage and the more children in the family correlated with lower parental satisfaction according to a meta-analysis from the Journal of Marriage and Family.
What to Do?
When you decide to bring a new life into this world, think about it many times and think as if you are your unborn child. Ask questions and answer them in your unborn child's perspective and not in yours. Think about the ramifications and consequences of having a child and the impact it will have on your life and the life of your significant other.
Questions & Answers
Are two children expensive for parents?
One child itself is extremely expensive for the earth. On top of that, not only is the earth paying the debts that humanity accumulated over centuries, children will be paying for the interests accrued over generations in the form of war, riots, conflict, food supply, water shortage, unbreathable air, etc. So, think about the children who will inhabit a world trashed with plastics.Helpful 13