If you haven't heard of "default parent syndrome," chances are you've lived it. Default parent syndrome happens when one parent does the lion's share of childcare and child-related work by default. It happens easily, quickly, without anyone meaning for it to, necessarily, but when it happens, then you can be sure one parent is on the fast track to burnout.
In this video from @lamujermorena, we meet a mom who's really, really burned out on being the default parent. And when she tried to do the right thing and get a break for herself, what did her husband do? He helpfully...brought her the baby. Um, what?
To hear the creator break down what's happening in this scenario is upsetting and infuriating. How could this woman ever manage to get her power back as a parent?But as the creator explains, it's definitely possible.
Commenters' hearts went out to this woman, and people really wanted to see her looking a little less stressed and exhausted...
"Hearing her story made my eyes tear up. I had terrible anxiety with my second and if my husband had done that it would have felt so overwhelming"
"I made my husband the default parent. Told him I carried her for 9 months and he would too. Once she’s 9 months I’ll step in a little more."
"I had a man like that, wanted 1 day away with my sister, no way he was gonna “babysit” his child on his day off!! We both worked same hours."
"this is insane. in the moment she mentioned her husband i knew what direction it was gonna go. "why is the baby crying" IDK MAN GO FIND OUT"
Seems like if you have a partner who shares the childrearing weight equally with you and you're not stuck as the default parent, things are a lot more manageable!