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Woman’s Approach to Tantrums Is Something Parents Should Aspire To

This is peak gentle parenting.

Coping with tantrums is one of the most challenging parts of parenting. Fresh out of that sleepless, super demanding infant period comes toddlerdom, and with it a lot of big emotions, which often lead to our normally sweet kids screaming, kicking, and throwing things... sometimes while we're in public. It's overwhelming, to say the least.

If you're someone who's struggling with finding the right way to handle tantrums while also maintaining your gentle parenting goals, keep reading. One mom is sharing her unique perspective on tantrums in a video on TikTok, and we have to admit that she's giving us a bit of much needed clarity.


She starts off by comparing her kids' tantrums to getting bitten by a dog. If you try to pull your hand out, you're probably going to make the situation worse. But if you just go with it, you might be able to escape unharmed, and this is why this mom says she refuses to "fix feelings."

Instead her goal is "empathizing, understanding, not trying to fix it." She recognizes their emotion, and then she asks questions (which she calls "empathy guesses") about how they're feeling — and of course, she's making sure she stays calm through all of this. 

"Regulate my emotions, empathize, reflect back," she said. "Then, once they've calmed down and I've calmed down, we can problem solve together. And if we continuously give them space to sit with their emotions, we learn to sit with those emotions." 

Check out the video, because her approach definitely seems worth trying. This isn't a bad way to handle what can quickly become a stressful situation for both parents and kids.