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101 Great Cuss/Swear Word Alternatives

Updated on August 27, 2015

Bad Words: Things to Say Instead of Cursing

If you have children, are around them often, or even work at a school, you know how hard it is to come up with creative alternatives to cussing. Here is a list of 101 great words and phrases that you can use instead of swearing! Feel free to to use any of these with your own kids and add your best words and phrases to the list!

  1. Shnookerdookies!
  2. Fudge nuggets!
  3. Cheese and rice!
  4. Sugar!
  5. God bless America!
  6. Poo!
  7. Snickerdoodle!
  8. Banana shenanigans!
  9. Six and two is eight!
  10. God bless it!
  11. Barbara Streisand!
  12. Fiddlesticks!
  13. Jiminy Crickets!
  14. Son of a gun!
  15. Egad!
  16. Great Scott!
  17. Caesar’s ghost!
  18. Merlin’s beard!
  19. Merlin’s pants!
  20. Shucks!
  21. Darn!
  22. Dagnabbit!
  23. Dang rabbit!
  24. Dadgummit!
  25. Jumpin’ Jiminy!

26. Gee willickers!
27. Gee whiz!
28. Cheese whiz!
29. Good night!
30. Sam Hill!
31. Son of a monkey!
32. Son of a bucket!
33. William Shatner!
34. Son of a motherless goat!
35. Judas Priest!
36. Gosh darn it!
37. Shut the front door!
38. Holy cow!
39. Horse pucky!
40. Geez!
41. Sufferin’ succotash!
42. Son of a mother trucker!
43. Fudge berries!
44. Geez Terwilligers!
45. Mothersmucker!
46. Cornnuts!
47. Poo on a stick!
48. Aw, duck water!
49. Jerk water!
50. Dillweed!

51. Oh, snap!
52. OMG!
53. Fraggle rock!
54. Phooey!
55. Bogus!
56. Bull spit!
57. Crap!
58. Crikey!
59. Scuddle butt!
60. Shuzzbutt!
61. Son of a biscuit!
62. Leapin’ lizards!
63. Oh my gosh!
64. Oh my goodness!
65. Peanut butter and jelly!
66. Drat!
67. Oh, man!
68. Oh, dear!
69. Criminy!
70. Mother of pearl!
71. Tartar sauce!
72. Fish paste!
73. Fart knocker!
74. Hobknocker!
75. Pokémon!

76. Golly gee!
77. What the frog!
78. Kitty whiskers!
79. Barnacles!
80. Eat soap!
81. Eat slugs!
82. Go lick a duck!
83. For Pete’s sake!
84. I don’t give a Donald Duck!
85. Cheeses!
86. Pluck it!
87. Yuck fou!
88. Aww, noodles!
89. Hamburgers!
90. Geez Louise!
91. Fishsticks!
92. Frack!
93. Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!
94. What the cuss!
95. Narf!
96. Marklar!
97. Shitake mushrooms!
98. Son of a nutcracker!
99. Raspberries!
100. Shikaka!
101. Mecrob!

If these 101 great cussword alternatives just aren't enough, check out Holy Rackafratz! 101 More Funny Swear/Cuss Word Alternatives!

Q: Is it possible to cuss politely?

A: You're darn tootin'!

Funny, Faux Curse Words that Start with "F" or "S"

adjectives that start with "f"
nouns that start wit "f"
adjectives that start with "s"
nouns that start with "s"
fat(ty)!
finger!
shabby!
sabattical!
fabulous!
firecracker!
shifty!
sushi/sashimi!
fatuous!
filagree!
sabertoothed!
succotash!
fearsome!
feather!
sadomasochistic!
scallops!
fiscal!
father!
salty!
schoolboy (or girl)!
flabby!
foccacia!
sandy!
schitzophrenic!
flaky!
flower, flowerpot!
scabby!
scurvy!
freckled!
fuzz!
schizoid!
scatterbrain!
French!
flyspeck!
scarlet!
sheep/sheepskin!
fungoid!
fedora!
scatty!
skank!
fried!
fieldmouse!
Scottish/Scotch!
slapstick!
frugal!
fiddle!
sacred!
squab!
frumpy!
frankfurter!
screwy!
sunburn!
fresh!
Frankenstein!
scrubby!
saffron!
fruity!
Freud!
seasick!
saxophone!
fungicidal!
funeral!
sexy!
sandwich!
fuzzy!
filibuster!
shaggy!
shampoo!
faux!
flux!
shuddering!
sharecropper!
funny!
forecast!
shoddy!
shoestring!
funky!
fumble!
sigmoid!
shrub!
fundamental!
frostbite!
sleeveless/strapless!
sourdough!
Combine these words with others (as in "father Christmas!" or "fiscal responsibility!"), with others on the list (like "fresh sourdough!" or "freckled Freud!"), or use the nouns alone.

Words That Are Almost Always Funny

pickle, nut, butter, bumfuzzle, dollop, doodle, giggle

Out of these alternative cuss words, which is YOUR favorite?

See results

Comments

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    • profile image

      Ur mom 2 weeks ago

      You could say oh my shnookerdoodles!!!

    • profile image

      Andy 4 weeks ago

      I'm pretty sure I was the only one who thought of Ryan Ross when I read #28

      "Did you guys get any chips?"

      "No, but I got cheese whiz."

    • profile image

      Talia 5 weeks ago

      These are so frickin' cheesy.

      like... seriously. Horse Pucky? Who SAYS that! Don't use these if you want to keep your reputation under control

    • profile image

      Aubree 6 weeks ago

      What the fudge-crab as in crap.Freak as in Frick.

    • profile image

      Des 7 weeks ago

      Shut the flock up.

    • profile image

      Hailey 2 months ago

      OH MY GOOGLE!

    • profile image

      IDK 3 months ago

      HOLY STRAWBERRY! SON OF A BANANA! :o

    • profile image

      Hailey 3 months ago

      My name for now on shall be Narf

    • profile image

      Isaac 4 months ago

      I thought of

      "Aw pickle-butter-nut-bumfuzzle-doodle"

      And wait, seriously? You know dang flabbit? I thought my family made that one up.

    • profile image

      concerned parent 5 months ago

      i personally think you should consider adding dang flabbit and sweet nibblets. Just to inform you that i am personally offended that these words were not include and to allow the other people with kids to be blessed with these helpful swearing synonyms

    • profile image

      Savannah Marietta 7 months ago

      I love the Merlin's Beard one. As a Potterhead, I saw it enough already,

    • profile image

      Anonymous 9 months ago

      Shut the full cup.

    • profile image

      shrektrek 10 months ago

      Never use Number 33 at Comic-con. not speaking from experience, it just doesn't sound like a good idea

    • profile image

      deepforest 11 months ago

      These are pretty hilarious. Personally, I never started swearing in the first place, but I do hiss. Pain response: ssssssssst. Tense moments in movies tend to be fffffffffff....and my typical reaction to something going wrong is "well, CRUD"

    • profile image

      DownUnder 11 months ago

      I like "What the Fun?!"

      I say God Bless it and God Bless America A LOT!!

    • profile image

      Mysterious 12 months ago

      Aw, baby ducks

    • profile image

      Aaron Coles 13 months ago

      I say son of a brachiosaurus

    • profile image

      jolteon 14 months ago

      Son of a female dog!

    • profile image

      EARTHQUAKE 16 months ago

      How about son of a butt

      Or you piece of trash

      Even mother of butter

    • profile image

      Dart 16 months ago

      I say "pisser." That should be #102. Or is it a swear word?

    • profile image

      Jain doe 19 months ago

      Holy crumpets

    • profile image

      Somebody that you use to know 19 months ago

      I say

      "Oh my dog!"

    • profile image

      ben mango 21 months ago

      Well I'll be shipped in dip! is my favorite. It beats being dipped in you know what.

    • profile image

      Samuel 21 months ago

      What about "(Dodge Challenger/Charger SRT) Hellcat" instead of "h*ll," "Jean-Claude Van-Damme" instead of "d**n," or "stomatch cramps" instead of "cr*p"?

    • profile image

      anonymous 22 months ago

      Shazbot to replace s**t

    • profile image

      Claudia 2 years ago

      I say "fridge" or "what the fridge"

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 years ago

      What the halo!?@!?!@!&?!?&$

    • profile image

      Scott 2 years ago

      Bullshavic

    • profile image

      Bilgewater 2 years ago

      Here's another one:

      NOODLE CRUTCH!

    • profile image

      Marie 2 years ago

      i have a British friend and you do not want to ever use #74!!!! It has a not nice meaning....do not use in England!!!!found out the hard way!

    • profile image

      Adelaine Smalls 2 years ago

      I don't mean to be a nuisance, but I had recently looked up the definition of hobknocker, and one of it's more... inappropriate definitions is not something I would allow small children nor teenagers use.

    • profile image

      Stephen 2 years ago

      Holy buckets is about my favorite

    • TMApsey profile image
      Author

      TMApsey 2 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      Nice!

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 years ago

      This list is hilarious! I say "shoot" or "sugar" and "Maple Syrup" (like Canada from Hetalia Axis Powers). Sometimes I quote the BFG (e.g. filthy fizzwiggler, flush-bunking, scrotty, bootboggler, crodwallop etc). Here are some I came up with off the top of my head:

      - Sheesh kebabs

      - Son of a Witch!

      - Dingbat - for "d***head"

      - Dingle-hopper

      - Bleep, bleep it - replaces the F-Bomb

      - Oh woe! (What On Earth)

      - Holy Fudge-nuts

      - Flipping frogs

      - Mother-Puffin - instead of 'motherf***'

      - Oh my Land! (from Wreck-It Ralph)

      - Oh bother and blow it!

      - Drat it!

      - Rat-bag

      - Wicked Witch - a 'b***' or any spiteful person

      - Fiddlesticks

      - Go fly a kite! - "go away"

    • profile image

      zoey 2 years ago

      I use "Jeesum Crow" from the play Almost, Maine quite often to replace Jesus Christ

    • broussardleslie profile image

      Leslie Broussard 2 years ago

      Awesome Hub! So helpful! FYI, found it by Google search for "clean curse words."

    • profile image

      something 2 years ago

      I like fudge as in f

    • WiccanSage profile image

      Mackenzie Sage Wright 3 years ago

      Ha love these! What a great collection-- growing up, my parents got me in the habit of saying "sugar"-- so much sweeter than what we were really thinking (another s word). Thanks for the smiles, these were cool.

    • profile image

      Sean Templin 3 years ago

      Crud Munchkins

    • amiebutchko profile image

      Amie Butchko 3 years ago from Warwick, NY

      VERY funny and useful! I love "bull spit" and "I don't give a Donald Duck." I think I'll use BOTH today. My little son will love it - I can't wait to see his wide eyes.... My grandpa used to say, "Cheese and Crackers!" emphasizing the first and last word. I love it.

    • profile image

      Yupper 3 years ago

      This was funny, thanks. Flippin', freakin', geez. Couple some friends gave used is shhhhh & holy shiver.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Oh my stars!

    • profile image

      Ehehehehe 3 years ago

      I like holy cheeseits and I've used fudge as a replacement for a lot of common cusses, and one of my favorites is whenever someone it telling me something I don't care about 'this is how many flying ducks I give' then I show my make the gesture for zero.

    • TMApsey profile image
      Author

      TMApsey 3 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      I asked all my friends and family members. It was a lot of fun.

    • profile image

      Holly 3 years ago

      HA hA!!! Good words. Where did you get all those

    • profile image

      Potty Mouth 3 years ago

      I like "cheese and rice".

    • profile image

      Knockle 3 years ago

      Mine are:

      "By my hairy legs!" (as in wtf)

      "What the flabbergast" (as in wtf)

      "What the flutecake" (as in wtf)

      "Confuddle and befound" (as in f--- this)

      "Confound and confusticate" (as in f--- this)

      "Right in Pickoodle's Noodle" (as in right in the loins; rarely used)

      "Holy schizophrenia" (as in holy sh--)

      "Flibbertigibbet" (as in f---)

      "Pickled pansy" (as in arsehole)

    • Metalhobbit7 profile image

      Metalhobbit7 4 years ago

      You're still expressing the idea of anger, or of being upset. That's what profanity is for. Somehow saying a word that sounds KIND OF like it but ISN'T QUITE the actual word, is okay. Just say the actual word, you're still conveying the idea of the word. After all, it's just a word. A certain combination of vowels and consonants, that, if read or typed uncensored, according to some, will conjure the wrath of God. It's just stupid.

    • profile image

      Corey 4 years ago

      I like to use "Mother Father!"

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ..fookin' nice - says the epi-man from lake erie time ontario canada 11:58am and holy shite it's getting cold here too.

    • profile image

      Josh 4 years ago

      Got down.. sat on a bench!

    • profile image

      A little practice 4 years ago

      I just wanted to drop a note to say Yuck Fou to all those fother muckers who think that cheese and rice didn't die for your sins. Those Mothersmuckers can lick my duck!

      You might think you're not going to H-E-double hockey sticks, but that is complete and utter BULL SPIT!!!

    • profile image

      mystery 5 years ago

      Yeah I don't swear I just like to use these, like jiminy cricket, cheese and rice, darn, fother mucker (i get yelled at for that one), fudge, butts (this is a big one), and sometimes balls if im really really mad

    • Sweets21 profile image

      Sweets21 5 years ago

      LOl I have actually used some of those up there!! I also use the phrase "Fudge Cake" as an alternative lol...Great hub!!

    • CassyLu1981 profile image

      CassyLu1981 5 years ago from Spring Lake, NC

      Awesome alternatives! Some of these have been used in my house. Thanks for more ideas! voted up and shared

    • TMApsey profile image
      Author

      TMApsey 5 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      I like "Pants!" That's a great one! I'll have to try it sometime!

    • Ciel Clark profile image

      Ciel Clark 5 years ago from USA

      Ha! Great list. Definitely a funny click. I struggled to make the switch when I taught small children. Sometimes I would pause with my mouth open so I could make sure of what I was about to say.

      Friends who knew me as a teen think it is hilarious to hear me come out with the ones I use from your list: Fiddlesticks! Crikey! Phooey!

      One I borrowed from my English sister-in-law:

      "Pants!" (underwear)

    • profile image

      leann2800 5 years ago

      This is so great. I made my son copy a definition out of the dictionary if he cussed when he was little. I told him he sounded ignorant using 4 letter words and that he couldn't actually be uninformed.So, he had to learn a word if he used one. If he used multiple words, he could copy the dictionary all day. He is a smart kid and figured out that he did not want to copy that whole book and stopped after the first time. But, I bet he would have liked your list of suggestions a lot better.

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 5 years ago

      Dear Theresa ~ Gave you bunches of #OMG clicks above for laughter, fun, useful and awesome list of substitute words. Very much enjoyed the fun. Be well, Debby

    • profile image

      jenubouka 5 years ago

      Oh how I need this right now, my son is catching on to my horrible bad language... This was absolutely the best way to start my day. I have been using the "go fly a kite" quite a bit, yet then my son starts literally looking for a kite to fly, oh well.

      Awesome!!

    • Jaymye Allen profile image

      Jaymye Allen 5 years ago from Sherman, Texas

      What the French, Toast? Is a favorite of mine ever since that Orbit Gum commercial... Now I can add some to my arsenal, Lordy knows, my boys can surely give me a run for my money.... SSSSHHHHugar tops my list daily. Thanks!

    • jfay2011 profile image

      jfay2011 5 years ago

      Hi,

      I take it you have read that book that guy wrote for adults? Bleep the Bleep Up and go to bed? I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard about it. Sounds funny. However, I will say that I have never said that to my kids. I think it's awful when parents really say that to their children. I'm sure it happens all the time. I've been happy to grow up in a good environment and set the same standards for my children. I've recently written a few hubs on raising children. I've raised four of them, and they're still growing. They'll always be my babies, even once they're all grown up and left the nest. Still feeding them worms right now. Just kidding.

    • prektjr.dc profile image

      Debbie Carey 5 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

      I would probably get that one tangled up and have too much explaining to do!!

    • ronnoco profile image

      ronnoco 5 years ago from Ireland

      I tell my kids to Shut the Uck Fup and go to bed!

    • Simone Smith profile image

      Simone Haruko Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Fraggle Rock! These are HILARIOUS!!! I literally lol'd a couple of times. Can't wait to take some of these for a spin!

    • TMApsey profile image
      Author

      TMApsey 5 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      Thanks everyone, I had lots of fun making this one!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ....well I love this so much I will be posting this to my Facebook page with a direct link back here ......

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

      Great hub with some good suggestions, I found humor in some as well! I just remember that the one keeping score knows my intent as I replace thoughts with clean words spoken, instead of the cussing. It is better to never need replacement words, but I'm guilty of the gosh dern things my self, just not as often as I used to do, 50

    • sj_workman79 profile image

      sj_workman79 5 years ago from New Hampshire

      Ha ha these are great! I'll have to remember them next time I almost swear in front of my 3 1/2 year-old neice.

    • prektjr.dc profile image

      Debbie Carey 5 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

      Snickerfritz! and Shoota Monkey! have saved me a time or two! Of course, what did a monkey ever do to you usually followed! Cute hub! I voted up, useful and funny!

    • profile image

      Vikki Jorgensen 6 years ago

      Son of a Basket Weaver. . .

      Crap on a Cracker!

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