It’s no secret that being a single parent is rough at times. You have to find a magical balance between work, parenting, and a social life. You’re stuck battling temper tantrums and arguments about who the tiny red car nobody has played with since 2012 belongs to, and you’re also alone during happy, memorable moments like soccer championships and graduation ceremonies.
Look, I get that no husband is perfect. Comments like “I’m married but my husband never does any household chores” or “Being married doesn’t mean you’ll actually have help with the kids” remind me of that any time I dare mention that being a single mom is hard. I’m not saying a husband would solve all my problems, but I think having one would make my life easier at times.
I often imagine how nice it would be to have a husband, so I’ve compiled a list of the top 39 times I wish I had one. Some of my reasons for wanting a devoted significant other are selfish, but I’m going to share them with you anyway. I sugarcoat cookies and brownies, not emotions and opinions.
Here are 39 times, in no particular order of importance, when I wish I had a husband:
1. When one of my kids does something adorable and I have nobody to share it with. Yeah, I can tell Facebook and Twitter - and I totally do - but do my online friends really find other people’s kids as hilarious as I do?
2. Anytime one of my toddlers have a meltdown in a public place, especially if people are staring and making stupid comments.
3. When I attempt to morph my 5’ 2’’ body into a long, lean body so I can reach the snacks I hid on top of the fridge or get something out of the pantry without a chair.
4. At 2 a.m. when I wake up from a nightmare and have nobody to comfort me.
5. At 2 a.m. when one of my kids lets me know they have the flu by vomiting all over my bed.
6. During IEP meetings, when I’m hit with a ton of information about what my child is/isn’t doing right developmentally and academically, then given a short amount of time to help develop important goals for the next 12 months of his life.
7. Every time I visit the grocery store with 3 kids in tow.
8. Actually, any time I visit any store with 3 kids in tow.
9. When my kid is sick and needs meds, and I’m forced to decide whether it’s better to drag a sick kid to the pharmacy or have my child skip the meds.
10. When I’m sick and have to figure out how to maintain my household and get my kids to all of their activities.
11. Every time my doctor asks how much longer I plan to put off hernia surgery or surgery on my wrist and I don’t feel like explaining that I have no clue how I’ll get 3 kids on 3 different schedules where they need to go during my recovery process.
12. When my teenager needs a ride home from events that end long after my toddlers are in bed.
13. When I want a late-night snack made by someone other than myself and there’s no way I’m waking up 3 kids at midnight so I can get a milkshake or fries.
14. When my ex brags about the woman he left me for in an attempt to make me jealous and makes fun of me for not having someone.
15. When my ex insists I must still love him because I haven’t found someone new.
16. When my ex makes hateful comments during custody exchanges that he probably wouldn’t have the nerve to make if I had a husband sitting there with me.
17. Whenever someone says “I’m just like a single mom because my husband works a lot” so I can nod my head in agreement instead of inwardly rolling my eyes.
18. Every time I attend a parent-teacher conference alone.
19. When I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and would do anything for a nap but know that napping while 3 kids run around just isn’t going to happen.
20. Whenever I clean my house and have nobody to help with any of the tasks.
21. Every time I attempt to fix something on my own and realize I know nothing about fixing stuff. So far this year, I’ve installed a new toilet seat and shower head.
22. When I get a flat tire and am stuck 20 miles from home with 2 of my 3 kids, and none of my friends can pick me up because my kids + their kids = too many passengers and not enough seats.
23. When I have to bring my toddlers to medical appointments and pray they don’t break anything or scream over the doctor as she’s trying to explain what’s going on with my health.
24. When I realize that nobody else is going to help pay rent or buy groceries.
25. When I attempt to have a virtual meeting with clients and have nobody to entertain my toddlers (translation: keep them from screaming and trashing my house).
26. When I see my clothes hanging in the closet and realize just how empty things look without a man’s button-down shirts and suits.
27. Every Sunday when I sit at church alone.
28. Whenever I attend coed church functions and am the only single woman there.
29. When I find it hard to connect with married moms and feel bad that I can’t relate to any of their gripes about their husbands.
30. When I see Facebook posts gushing about how great someone’s husband is and remember I’m still alone.
31. When my van needs minor repairs and I’m stuck sitting at the shop all day with a bunch of cranky kids.
32. When my van needs major repairs and I’m stuck figuring out how to get home and get my kids to all of their activities in a city without public transportation.
33. When insurance companies inform me that I’d qualify for lower rates if I had a husband.
34. Whenever a friend offers to set me up with her cousin, coworker, kid’s bus driver’s uncle, etc. and I have to think of some excuse about why that’s the last thing I want.
35. When I attend weddings alone.
36. When I attend my kids’ sporting events and school functions alone.
37. When a certain family member sends me messages about how I’ll be alone forever and nobody will ever love me.
38. Whenever firsts happen - first words, first steps, first school dance - and I have nobody to discuss them with.
39. When I worry that my kids will grow up with issues because they don’t have a two-parent home (yeah, I’ve been reading too many scientific studies).
Yes, Kids Are a Blessing - Even When You Parent Them Alone
This articles isn't meant to be a total whinefest about the life of a single parent. My kids are awesome, and I love raising them. I just miss being in love with someone and having a close connection with an adult who lives in the same home as me and my kids.
I don’t want a husband just to have an extra body around to do stuff for me, but it would be nice sometimes. I'm thankful for the life I have, but I'd still enjoy the chance to make memories during family outings with another adult. Until I find love again, I’ll continue wishing for a husband every time the scenarios above occur.
Are You Married? If Not, Can You Relate to This Article?
Angie on April 02, 2020:
This article made me cry.. I have gone through everything you have and feel the same way... I wish it didn’t have to be this way.
Al on June 10, 2018:
Right there in your poll is why it's getting forever harder to find a good man.
Raul Sierra Jr from El Paso, Texas on April 23, 2017:
My sister and I were raised by a single mother. She worked her butt off keeping the lights on and food on the table. As far as I can tell neither of us has have been in prison, and both of us are raising responsible children. So, don't be fooled by the printed stats. A little love goes a long way.
Missy (author) from The Midwest on April 24, 2016:
Thanks, Frenchie Kisses! I really appreciate your kind words and think it's awesome that you and your husband help out your sister like that.
Frenchie Kisses from Home Sweet Home on April 23, 2016:
I'd like to tell you to keep up the good work as a mom, so good job! My sister is a single parent and she has had struggle after struggle. As a married mother, I can tell you that I could not do what you single ladies do. I do know that my husband and I are there for my sister and nephew- as a relief to her in helping get her son to school and babysitting for her to be able to work and attend college and a positive male role model for him. Raising children is a beautiful challenge and I hope that you have a good support system.