ADHD Symptoms: Managing Your Child’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD)

Updated on April 9, 2018
ADD Moms Cope profile image

I'm a mother of two children with ADHD from Indianapolis, Indiana.

ADHD Symptoms: Managing Your Child’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD)

A child with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) can be described as being aggressive, impulsive, and highly irritable. Did you know that people diagnosed with ADHD are up to 11 times more likely to also be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Managing your child’s ODD along with his other ADHD symptoms can seem impossible at times.

In my experience with my children, it seems this disorder compels them to do EXACTLY what they know will annoy or frustrate another person. At times they seem to enjoy this, to the point where they look to be smiling slightly in delight. If your child has ODD, I’m sure similar scenarios have played out in your home. We all love our children no matter what. However, coping and managing these co-morbid ADHD symptoms will not only frustrate us as parents but can also be hurtful and cause dysfunction in the family dynamic.

What can we do? In my experience, when my children are being defiant, it’s mostly because they are trying to solicit a reaction or gain attention, even if that attention is not positive. Here are some ways I’ve learned to manage defiant behavior with my children. Of course, all children are different and these approaches may not work for your children. However, if you are struggling, they may be worth a try.

Ignore the Behavior

Whenever it is possible, just ignore the behavior. If they move toward you, don’t look at them. You may verbally explain in a short sentence why you are ignoring them (“I will not acknowledge you until you change your behavior”). However, don’t give any eye contact. Act as if you are blind and deaf. I’ve often used this approach with my son. When he became old enough to read, I began writing the brief sentence in a short note, as I know feelings or reactions can be heard in your voice.

Talk to Your Child

When your child has resolved to abandon the defiant behavior, ask them to explain why. The most likely answer is going to be, “I don’t know,” but that’s OK. The purpose of the question is to make your child think about how they have behaved. If they are age appropriate, dig deeper. Ask them what did they intend to accomplish? Begin a conversation with them regarding their previous behavior. During your discussion, brainstorm ideas with your child on more positive approaches to a similar situation that may happen in the future.

Give Them Time to Be Alone

This is as simple as sending him to his room. Remind your child that their behavior will have to change prior to coming back. I know this seems pretty basic, however, the purpose is to deny them receiving a reaction from anyone, which is what they may be seeking. Remember, when you tell them to go to their room, do not yell and try to speak as monotone as you can.

I know some of you are thinking, “What if they refuse to go?” Simply leave them where they stand; everyone must leave the room, even the dog!

Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash
Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash

Writing Exercise

When your child begins showing defiant behavior make him write a sentence multiple times. Make sure the sentence is positive. When my son was in 3rd grade, if he got into trouble at school, I made him write, “I am a good kid and I make good choices” 25 times. You might be wondering, if he was being defiant, how did you get him to write the sentences? My guess is, he was getting attention or a reaction. However, this was not the reaction he wanted.

Take-Home Thoughts

As parents raising children with ADHD, our journey is often fraught with strife, but we can’t give up! We must hold steadfast, teaching our children to successfully navigate life through constant coaching. Remember, as parents, we are our child’s biggest advocate and at times “tough love” is appropriate. If we don’t correct our children and show them more appropriate ways to cope, then who will? The answer is no one!

Our hope is to help extinguish these unwanted behaviors while they are children, still learning who they are. We want to cherish our children and create happy childhood memories for years to come, instilling positivity and confidence. Through these “bumps in the road”, let’s not forget to recognize and reward our child’s many positive attributes and behaviors. Lastly, we must make sure our children understand that our actions are motivated by our unbreakable love for them and our will to lead them to be the best person they can be.

If you are willing to share some of your experiences, please leave a comment. I love to hear from my readers.

ADHD Symptoms: ODD

Does Your Child Also Have Oppositional Defiance Disorder

See results

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Seven Stevens

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      No comments yet.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, wehavekids.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://wehavekids.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)