Five Reasons Why I Am Not Having Another Child

Updated on June 6, 2017
ionestevens profile image

Ione Stevens obtained her bachelor's degree in English in 2016. She is now a library assistant for Stratford University.

#1: I was not blessed to forget the 31 hour labor.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard the question, "Are you having another child?", I'd be rich enough to give birth five more times and be 100% financially stable! People don't realize just how uninteresting and awkward this question can be. The first thing that pops in my mind after being asked is a flashback of me pushing a 6 lb. 9 oz. baby out of my vagina. The oh-so-vivid memory of the pressure I felt in my a** makes me want to sew this vagina up myself! Like most moms, I was not blessed with the ability to forget the 31 hour long labor I went through. I couldn't care less how 'easy' the second time around is!

#2: Breast is Best. Well, honey, these breasts are useless!

Putting the horrors of childbirth aside, let's talk about breastfeeding. Don't worry, I'm not about to get into the whole 'Breast is Best' or 'Fed is Best' debate! I'm going to tell you how it was for me.

It sucked and not in the way I had planned!

Breastfeeding was not easy. Night one after childbirth, the breast pump in the hospital could barely get any out of me. After visits from two lactation consultants and three nurses, I threw in the towel and decided to give my hangry baby formula! All the while, they kept saying the same thing over and over again: Breast is Best! Well, honey, these breasts are useless! So give me a bottle of formula and let's put this behind us.

It didn't stop there though. After coming home with our new baby in arms, I started with the pump. It wouldn't work, barely anything came out. I ate all the right things and tried all the right tricks. After a month of overworking myself and crying uncontrollably, I called it quits and we relied on formula entirely. I'm a 'Fed is Best Mom' and I'm not ashamed of it one bit.

#3: The fact that I had PPD only made it worse.

Let's not forget the possibility that I could suffer from PPD (Postpartum Depression) again...

That's right, I was an emotional wreck after we brought our bundle of joy home. Between my hormonal imbalance and leaving my job to be a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom), the first 6 weeks of motherhood was a terror. It was the only time (and I'm not exaggerating here) that my husband and I fought. I'll be honest, I triggered them all! My pregnancy cravings never went away, so I was eating up the house every chance I could get. My son had a hard time sleeping on his own, so we began co-sleeping. This didn't help either! He'd wake up in any attempt I'd make to get out of bed. My sleep schedule was out of whack, there was never time for a shower or to do housework, and I just felt like I was on watch 24/7. Although these are things new moms deal with all the time, the fact that I had PPD only made it worse. I love my son with my whole heart. But there were times, during those 6 weeks, where I just wanted to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. So yeah, it was a dark time.

#4: He was bored with his frog potty and couldn't care less about taking a man-sized dump in his diaper.

If you want to know just how tough parenthood can be, potty training a toddler just about sums it up. We gave it a shot a little after he turned 2 years old. Yeah, that lasted a day. He was bored with his frog potty and couldn't care less about taking a man-sized dump in his diaper. So we dropped it and picked it back up after he turned 3. Same thing happened. The first day was fine, but he wasn't amused. We tried everything from stickers to candy, bribing him with everything we had to get him to just sit on the potty! So while we're pulling our hairs out, thinking of ways to make it comfortable for him, he's peeing on the couch...

Finally, he starts peeing in the potty! We're ecstatic and relieved! But we quickly realized that he would leave the room, hide under a table, and poop in his underwear.... From then on, we would put the frog potty under the dining room table for him to poop, in private. Which, obviously, this is something he could do in the bathroom. But he did not like that.

Potty training is something that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. I'm happy to say that he's fully potty trained and using the toilet like a pro!

#5: With all of these accomplishments piling up, I feel like I am missing out on my son. We both do.

After a year of staying home with my little guy, I wanted to get back to work. I was still in college at the time, so a part-time job was good enough for us. Three mornings a week, I'd go to work for 5 hours, pick up my son from his Nama's, and go home. A couple of years go by and I graduate college with my Bachelor's in English. It was a huge accomplishment and I was thrilled to be DONE! Not even a month after graduating, I found a better paying job with the help of my degree. My husband gets promoted to full-time at his work. In less than a year, I am promoted to full-time with benefits! With all of these accomplishments piling up, I feel like I am missing out on my son. We both do. So on the weekends, we do everything we can to give our son more of our time.

He has grown up to be a smart, funny, adventurous little man. Everyday we are learning about who he is, what he likes/dislikes, and the things that he learns at preschool. He continues to grow so fast that we feel like we can't keep up!

So to this dreadful question: No, not right now. We're too busy raising, loving, and spending time with the child we already have. He deserves our time and our energy.

What Do You Think?

Does the question, "Are you having another child?", annoy you?

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2017 IoneLynne


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    • profile image


      2 years ago

      I wish my son was 6lbs 9oz! I had an 18 labor with a 10lb 14oz behemoth child. The told me the next one could be bigger. I think it's safe to say that this mama is done having children.

    • ionestevens profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Virginia

      Thank you! Yes, I know I shared some rather vivid images, but I've learned that when you write, write what you know. So that's what I do! Some women experience a rather pleasant child birth, which is wonderful. As for the rest, it's not so great and there's no point in covering up the gory details. Real is relate-able.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 

      3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      This gave me vivid images I am afraid won't leave my head LOL. But it was a fun to read. I appreciate your honesty about the difficulties you went through. Many moms will not admit to that. And I tip my hat for this courage and honesty. Child-birth is something I as a dad could only imagine. I do not know the pain and the joy that women go through. I tried my best to be an active part of the 9 months while my wife carried our baby. But it was all her when it came to delivering our child. I wish more dads take an active role with their wife's pregnancy and provide more support as they take care of the growing child. Men should never be just spectators in nurturing children.

      I believe that life is a precious gift from God. And women are blessed to have the privilege to carry and nurture life in their wombs. The pain is a bummer though. To you and all the mothers out there... my respect and admiration go out to all of you.


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