How to Help a Child Overcome a Fear of Flying
A trip in a plane gives you a chance to see clouds from above. Haven't you always wondered what they look like? If you're really lucky, you'll get to see them at sunset!
Photo by LongTimeMother
Flying for the First Time
You know the fastest way to travel to your holiday destination is on a plane. The tickets are affordable and you could spend more time with your family—but you are afraid of flying
Or maybe you're afraid your child will be afraid of flying. You don't really know how bad your fear of flying is because you've never really tried it ... but you've seen enough movies and television footage to give you a dry mouth and a fear of all the things that might go wrong.
Without firsthand experience, how can you effectively prepare your child? What can you say? What can you do? How could you cope once you're locked in the plane if your child is unhappy and wants to get off?
Fear of Flying Is an Emotional Response
Most people who have the chance to fly welcome the adventure. They might feel a little nervous, but the fun and excitement of what awaits them at the end of their flight are enough to get them packed, seated, and in the air without any real problem at all.
I'd be surprised if many people step aboard an airplane feeling invincible, but a deep breath and a quick thought or prayer for a safe journey are generally all that's required to get set for take-off.
If you are nervous about flying, don't waste energy trying to analyze why you feel the way you do. Statistics show that plane travel is safer than road travel. If you don't feel overwhelmed by fear every time you sit in a car, there's really no need to succumb to fear about flying.
If you do feel nervous, just accept it. "I'm nervous, but there's no point stressing about it."
Listen to the safety instructions that are given at the beginning of every flight, read the safety card in the pocket of the seat in front of you, then do your best to relax. Busy yourself with a book or a game of sudoku; something that will engage your attention.
Bring a friend on a plane flight. Choose one that is soft, washable and quiet. A good flight buddy is always quiet. Don't bring a toy that can talk.
Photo by LongTimeMother
How to Help as the Airplane Takes Off
Pilots fly planes. That's their profession. Buckle up and don't be a backseat driver.
As your plane speeds down the runway don't worry about how fast you're going or how fast you think you should be going. Forget about how long the runway looked or how long it should take to leave the ground.
Just accept that planes gain speed quickly, there may be a bit of a lurch as the plane leaves the ground, and once you are in the air the pilot will turn the plane to head in the right direction
If you are sitting beside your child, now is a good time to make sure their special soft toy is comfortable. With young children, I generally ask if they think teddy looks excited ... and if the engines sound particularly noisy during take-off (depending on the type of plane you're flying in), I joke about it being noisier than my washing machine or the lawnmower—and I ask the kids what else makes this much noise?
"So this is what it feels like when you take off in a plane," you could say. "Do you think we can remember how to describe this to Granny?"
There are lots of things you can discuss with your child. Ask them questions and they'll concentrate on the answers. What colour are the seats? How many people do you think are on our plane? Talk about trips that other people you know have taken - and whether or not they flew there.
Within minutes you'll be in the air and the engines will be less noisy.
Lots of Parents Fly With Children
I have lived in many places with my children—all of them requiring a plane trip to visit friends and family left behind.
Catch a plane between Australia and anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere and you quickly learn what works and what doesn't with children on a plane. The flights are so long that kids become bored with crayons and all the usual games people rely on when traveling by road.
In a plane, you are in an extremely confined space, so it is very important you be well prepared before boarding the flight. Drop a pencil or a piece of a puzzle and you'll have trouble retrieving it from between or beneath the seats.
Give thought to what interests your child and plan how you will amuse them in the airport and on the plane. Flying is not a time for tantrums and tears.
Have a new game hidden away for each leg of the journey. If your child is bored with the last one, produce the next game when you need them to stay quiet and still.
Photo by LongTimeMother
Some planes have screens in the backs of seats for inflight entertainment. They may show movies, or maps of the plane's progress. Some show a view of the ground during landing (you don't have to watch if you don't want to).
Photo by LongTimeMother
The Best Toy to Bring on the Plane
Nintendo DS has been replaced by DSi and other more updated versions, but the Nintendo products still remain my preferred toy for amusing children on planes. They are compact and sturdy.
- Packed away in its own strong carry case with room for storing games, the DS can easily fit in the small travel bag I take on board the plane, or even my coat pocket.
- We have dropped Nintendo products many times and they've withstood the harsh treatment. Can't say the same for the ipod or ipads that hit the ground, sadly.
- They don't have a phone and don't attract the same restrictions for using on planes.
- Good variety of simple games—for adults and children.
- Easy-to-see screen without pixelation.
- You can simply shut the game and put it away while you get on or off the plane, then open it again when there's more time spent waiting, and pick up where you left off.
- Bring an earphone or headphones if your child is unable to play the games with the volume turned off.
When my kids were sleeping, I'd put a Brain Training or Mahjong game in the DSi and amuse myself.
Here are more ideas for entertaining activities for the plane.
When we fly with backpacks, our kids fly with backpacks. If we take bags with wheels, so do our kids. Children like to feel as though they are keeping up with their parents. Use this to overcome their fear of flying. Be confident. They will be too.
Which Is Best: Window Seat or Aisle?
The size of your plane will determine how many people are seated side by side. In a small plane for instance, there might only be two seats between the window and the aisle. In a larger plane, there are generally three seats down each side with a wider row in the centre.
Do you care where you sit, or will you just leave it to chance?
There are advantages to being near the window. You get to look at the view and take photos.
If you have a fear of flying and think you're not yet ready to see a wing and the workings of the plane outside your window, ask to be seated where you see only the view.
In an aisle seat, you can stand and walk to the toilet or just exercise your legs without bothering the person next to you. If you are traveling with family, it is not such an issue. Disturbing a husband, wife, or child to give you free passage in and out of your seat is much easier than repeatedly asking a stranger to make room.
When traveling with a child, particularly on a long flight, I suggest you put yourself closest to the aisle so your little one isn't tempted to get out of their seat and wander—especially if you have fallen asleep.
When you look out your plane window and you see a mountain below you, don't panic. Millions of people just like me successfully travel in planes. Would you like a window seat to take great photos? Do you want to see the wing as well, or not?
Photo by LongTimeMother
Fear of Flying ... or Fear of the Unknown?
I suspect for many people the fear of flying is largely due to a fear of the unknown.
If you or your child are the type of person who has anxiety and doesn't like to leave their comfort zone, catching a plane for the first time can be very intimidating.
Here are a few tips that might help.
Tips for First-Time Plane Passengers
Can I walk around on a plane? | Yes. You can stretch your legs if you'd like to, but there are certain times when you are required to remain in your seat. There will be a light on the console above your head that shows you when you are required to stay in your seat. |
Are there toilets on planes? | Yes. The cubicles are generally rather small but they have everything you need. Flushing the toilet might make a loud 'whoosh' noise, using suction not water to clear waste. |
Can I get a pillow if I want to sleep? | Absolutely. Ask for one, particularly for children. Some plane seats however have little 'flaps' that pull out as head rests to cradle your head. You might not need a pillow. |
What if I'm cold? | Turn off the air vent directed towards your seat. (Look up at the console.) You can also ask for a rug. Press the button on the console (or on the arm rest between seats) to get the flight attendant's attention. |
Does take off and landing hurt your ears? | That depends a lot on the person. Take a lolly or piece of candy to suck. Give one to your child. Sucking on a drink bottle or a bottle of water might help. |
What am I allowed to take on the plane with me? | Google search your chosen airline. Ask your travel agent. Remember rules may vary on international flights. There might be rules about packaging liquids and whether or not you can even take bottles of drink on board. Where you live will affect the answer to this question. |
I am vegetarian. If they serve me a meal can I ask for vegetarian food? | If you have special dietary requirements, make them known at the time you book your flight. Most airlines are happy to accommodate you. |
Can I take my own food on a plane? | You can certainly take packets of sealed food on most flights eg packets of crisps. Pieces of fruit etc are generally okay on most flights, but you might have to discard them if they are uneaten before passing through customs or quarantine areas after landing. |
What should I wear? | Wear comfortable clothing, particularly on long flights. Choose the right shoes. If your feet swell as some people's do, you might find yourself wishing you'd worn different footwear. Wear or carry a coat onboard if you'll be getting off the plane at a colder destination. :) |
How to Deal With Turbulence
Let me start by saying I have been on many flights where it has been a smooth ride from beginning to end. No storms, no strong winds, no turbulence.
I have also been on a handful where the weather has been atrocious and the airplane has passed through ferocious storms. Sometimes the experience lasts for just a few minutes while the plane climbs above the stormy weather, and a couple of times we have just plowed on through the storm.
If you are making a short trip from one city to another, the solution to the problem of turbulence is easy. Book your flight on a nice sunny day, and travel while the weather is fine.
Of course international flights are far more difficult to make spontaneously and you'd be hard-pressed to accurately predict the weather high in the air over a journey of thousands of miles or kilometres.
When I find myself bumping around due to turbulence, I remind myself that I am not the first to be flying through a storm—and I won't be the last. It is simply part of the experience.
You are not doing yourself any favors if you start to panic because of bad weather. Leave the flying to the experts in the cockpit. There's nothing you can do about it.
As soon as I become aware of turbulence ahead (the pilot generally makes a cool, calm announcement over the intercom), if I am traveling alone I decide it is time to take a nap. If I am traveling with children, it is time for them to take a nap - and I stay awake to make sure they sleep through.
Turbulence can be unsettling, but it tends to simply be a slight rocking - and that's easy to sleep through. If you've ever made a long journey on a train and been rocked to a sound sleep, close your eyes and imagine you are on that train again.
Silly you if you watch those tv programs that highlight plane accidents. I honestly don't understand why anyone would bother. Such programs will feed anyone's fear of flying. Many more hours of television could be made about flights that successfully complete their journey, irrespective of the weather encountered along the way.
Don't feed the fear. Just accept that sometimes flights have bumpy periods. It's all just part of the journey.
There is always something to spot in an airport that will make a great story to tell when you fly home. Australians get a good laugh at the sign at Boise Idaho's airport that says Smell the Bloomin' Onion. Who will you tell your stories to?
Photo by LongTimeMother
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2013 LongTimeMother
Comments
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on February 11, 2014:
It might be his inner child with the fear of flying, Better Yourself. Might be worth showing him the hub and seeing if anything in here helps. :)
Better Yourself from North Carolina on January 27, 2014:
Great and helpful hub, and congrats on HOTD! My husband and I had both flown a few times when younger but his fear of flying has only gotten worse over the years so we haven't gone anywhere together that requires flying. Not sure most of these tactics would work on him, but think you've included some really great ideas for kids! Well done and thanks for sharing!
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on January 26, 2014:
lol, Levertis Steele. You write as though you really love the key elements of flying. I hope you manage to enjoy being over the clouds as well. For me, that bed of clouds is lovely. It feels so peaceful being above the hustle and bustle of the world below. :)
Hi Tom. I confess I really enjoy an uninterrupted view, but I can see how sitting alongside the wing could have helped your friend. Thanks.
HollieT, five in a car can be too many on even a short drive. lol. What a shame your mother wasn't confident enough to fly. Still, I'm pleased your parents went to the effort of taking you all on holidays. :)
HollieT from Belfast, Northern Ireland on January 25, 2014:
Congrats on HOTD, LTM :) Very well deserved. My mother has always been afraid of flying and we went to France and Spain when I was a kid, we had to take the ferry and then my dad would have to drive to our destination. Was not the most comfortable journey when there was five of us in the car!
Tom Schumacher from Huntington Beach, CA on January 22, 2014:
Excellent hub topic to cover! I had a friend who was absolutely terrified of flying, but after insisting on a window seat next to the wing, which allowed her to watch the entire flying process, she eventually developed a manageable comfort level. Your hub offers several valuable tips. - Voted up.
Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on January 22, 2014:
You have certainly covered a lot, and this hub is sure to be helpful to first-time flyers.
I took 13 flights hoping to overcome my fear of flying. If there is a dire need for me to fly, a severe emergency that requires me to get to a certain place that only a plane can take me in the time needed, I will fly again. I must say that flying helped a little. It helped me to know that I could do it if I must, but the comfort is not there.
I do not have a fear of death. I have a fear of heights and falling a great distance. As long as I see the land and buildings, I am ok. When earth disappears, clouds are below me, everything is milky outside the window, the plane has completed its ascension, and the pilot says the formidable: "We have now reached an altitude of 36,ooo feet; my whole body turns to helpless Jello.
After my 13th flight, I understood the declaration, "When I exited the plane, I kissed the ground." When I landed, I wanted to eat the ground. It looked so delicious. I developed a deeper appreciation for ground. I have even begun to add more beds to my garden area. Ground is great!
Aside from that, I did enjoy something about the flights. I loved the take-offs down the runway, the lift-offs, and the landing. I especially enjoyed the short time it took to fly a great distance. Experiencing these pleasures was so thrilling. I felt a sense of power as if I had suddenly grown wings. I knew what the bald eagle must have felt as he ascended to the mountain top. I also discovered that my dreams of flight were accurate experiences.
Yes, indeed, I faced my fears, and the flying experiences helped, but I have yet to overcome my phobia of heights. I am hopeful.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on January 22, 2014:
Hello DzyMsLizzy. 9/11 certainly took the fun out of flying. I don't worry about the element of terrorism because security checks are very thorough these days. What annoys me most are the long queues to get through the security checkpoints. I really miss those pre-9/11 years when you spent less time on the ground waiting to board the plane. :)
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on January 22, 2014:
Hi RTalloni. I guess it takes a particular type of personality to be a pilot. lol. You are absolutely correct about children responding well to practical conversation about the issues. :)
Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on January 22, 2014:
Congrats on HOTD!!
Great advice for traveling with young children, whether on a plane or not!
I grew up flying--my dad worked for an airline, and we got discount tickets, so from the time I was as young as a babe in arms up through my late teens, we flew back to visit relatives in Massachusetts about every three or four years.
Since then, I've flown to various destinations, including Canada, and always enjoyed flying. Flying itself does not scare me or make me nervous; in addition to working for an airline, my father had also taken flying lessons for a while in his bachelor days, so I have long been familiar with the changes in the plane; lowering/raising of wing flaps, etc. When a girlfriend and I went alone to Disneyland after high school graduation, it was her first flight, and she was very nervous because the wing was flexing...I was able to reassure her that it was designed to do that, and said, "You'd better hope it does flex!"
That all changed with the 9/11 attacks. Ever since then, I don't want to get on an airplane anymore. :(
Voted up, interesting and useful.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on January 22, 2014:
You did well to overcome your fear, Marcy. Thanks for your feedback. I'm sure others will gain confidence from your ability to fly again. :)
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on January 22, 2014:
Thank you, rebeccamealey. Being a little nervous is absolutely normal. Just imagine yourself safely on the ground at your destination. :)
RTalloni on January 22, 2014:
Congrats for your Hub of the Day award on this super look at flying with children. The exceptional usefulness of this post will be appreciated by adults who have experience with flying on their own and those who have never flown themselves.
My last trip gave me the most fun with kids I've ever had on a flight. A brother and sister were beside me and both were inquisitive chatterers. They were delightful even when distressed because all they needed was some practical conversation about the issues from someone who showed care for what concerned them.
That trip also gave me a new experience with turbulence. A 2 seater from Kenai to Anchorage was during an unusual rainstorm. At the end I told the pilots that I had a new appreciation for their skills. Their reply? Laughter and comments about how they don't often "get" to fly in that weather and how they love it!!! À chacun son goût… :)
Marcy Goodfleisch from Planet Earth on January 22, 2014:
Excellent and well-researched! You hub is packed with really solid information on this fear. I actually went through several years of a paralyzingly fear of flying (had not been afraid before that, but had some traumas related to height). I was even afraid to take one of those courses to overcome the fear, although I wanted to stop being afraid.
Finally, when my job required travel by air, I forced myself to focus on what was really happening in the plane, rather than on my fears, and I overcame the terror. Your tips are great, and the list of things to expect is really useful. So deserving of the HOTD - congrats!
Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA on January 22, 2014:
Flying does make me a little nervous. Having read this will really help. Thanks, wonderful Hub and very deserving of HOTD!
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on December 25, 2013:
My pre-teen daughter has just been on an interstate trip with one of her adult sisters ... and caught the plane home by herself in time for Christmas.
This was her first flight as an unaccompanied minor so I was delighted when she arrived with a smile on her face. She simply took the flight the way we always do when we travel together, and talked quietly to herself in her mind pointing out the same things as I usually would.
lol. As we crossed the carpark, she pointed to the cloudy sky and announced, "I am one of the lucky few who has seen those clouds from the top!"
Aren't kids great?!!
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 28, 2013:
Hi aviannovice. I recently added more photos. I'm always happy to help nervous souls cope. :)
Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on November 28, 2013:
Great ideas, which can actually help any nervous soul cope. Good work.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 25, 2013:
Thank you for your comment, DDE. It is difficult when one person is eager to jump on a plane, but their partner is not keen. I hope these tips make it a little easier on your next flight together. :)
Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on November 25, 2013:
Help to Overcome Fear of Flying - for children and parents interesting na informative tips here. I enjoy flying but my better half hates it these sound like the most helpful tips I read thus far thank you.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 21, 2013:
Thanks, Mike Robbers. Hope it helps someone in your life. :)
Hi annart. Seems a bit silly to explain why people are suffering without making an effort to relieve their stress. :(
Ann Carr from SW England on November 21, 2013:
It was punctuated by a psychologist giving reasons why some react as they do, with a few suggestions for breathing etc, which was ok but nothing terribly satisfactory! Just an 'oh dear poor things' film mainly! It would have been much better with more suggestions like yours.
Mike Robbers from London on November 21, 2013:
Very interesting and useful hub for all of us.Thank you for sharing!
Voted up of course!
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 19, 2013:
Well that sounds awfully cruel if they didn't at least prepare them for the wing changes and the bumps taking off and landing, annart. I'm struggling to imagine what the point of the tv story was. These are tips to help people with a fear of flying? Or lets watch people suffer?
There's every possibility it will end up on Australian television. I'd better not watch it because it will just make me cranky. :)
Ann Carr from SW England on November 19, 2013:
Saw a programme on our British tv last night about exactly this. They followed various people who were in pieces on the plane. I couldn't help but think they needed to read your suggestions!
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 19, 2013:
Thanks, teaches12345. I hope it proves useful. I doubt it will ever top the search engines because there's lots of other pages written for people who fear flying ... but I wasn't really impressed by what I saw there.
Who knows, maybe this hub will just grow wings and fly all by itself. lol.
Dianna Mendez on November 18, 2013:
This should be on every plane or offered as you purchase a ticket. Great advice and suggestions for getting through the first ride. Providing games (ipads, etc.) are excellent time wasters and keep one's mind occupied.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 17, 2013:
Hello Eddy. Thanks for your vote. Wales is on my list for a future trip. :)
Eiddwen from Wales on November 16, 2013:
Interesting and very useful. Will benefit many readers and voted up by me.
Eddy.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 16, 2013:
Thanks, annart. I sat next to a tough looking fellow with tattoos on one flight, who nearly flipped when the wing flaps opened. I decided that was an important point to cover here. I have always wondered why other people giving advice to fearful fliers don't bother mentioning it. Maybe they will now. :)
Ann Carr from SW England on November 16, 2013:
I meant to add before that your photos of the wing changes through the landing procedure is reassuring, as many people don't understand the movements of flaps etc.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 16, 2013:
Hi Beth. I do use my own photos as often as possible in hubs. I think it helps to show readers that you've actually experienced what you are writing about. I am trying to get in the habit of just snapping photos in all kinds of places in case they are useful for later hubs. It would be great if you'd do it too. :)
Thanks for your comment.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 16, 2013:
Hello annart. I believe it will help people who fear flying to read your comment about being nervous and yet still making long trips to the southern hemisphere. It is perfectly natural to feel nervous. If everyone who was nervous stopped flying, planes would be empty! lol. Thanks so much for your feedback. :)
Beth Eaglescliffe on November 16, 2013:
This is a great hub and full of useful information. I like the way you've used all your own photos too. (That's something I should do more of in my own hubs!)
Voted up.
Ann Carr from SW England on November 16, 2013:
This is a great hub, full of common sense and practical suggestions for children and adults alike. I'm not keen on flying but often it's the best way to get from A to B (as it's the quickest!). I've made a few trips to and from Australia and New Zealand, sometimes on my own; always nervous but as you say, if you read or play games or talk to someone it passes the time and gives you something else to think about. Trusting the pilot and crew is the main thing - as you say, they know so much more than you do, so let them get on with it. This should be read by all those who fear flying; it's a great help. Up, useful, interesting and shared.
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 13, 2013:
Thanks, mgt28. I have so many photos to choose from. lol. Fortunately I am not often looking at a wing for an entire trip. Glad I took those photos now. :)
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 13, 2013:
Hi Ginger. Thanks for your visit. Good to hear you have no fear of flying 'usually'. I'm sure it is perfectly natural for all of us to be nervous on occasion.
Like you, I've flown with a few scary airlines in some parts of the world - a couple I will never fly with again. I know someone people will get on 'any plane' ... but I certainly avoid single engine planes in third world countries, for instance. :)
mgt28 on November 13, 2013:
Good hub. Your pictures are very good, they are so original and that shows passion on your side.
ExpectGreatThings from Illinois on November 13, 2013:
This was really useful! I am not usually afraid of flying, thankfully, and that makes this a great resource for knowing how to help those who might be afraid.
Your poll reminded me that there are airlines that don't have great reputations. When I lived in Central Asia I took quite a few flights that made me physically tense. I'm not sure how some of them stayed in the air! - Ginger
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 13, 2013:
Very kind of you, My Cook Book. There's so much more that could be said but I tried to cover the key points. Thanks for your votes. :)
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 13, 2013:
Hi FlourishAnyway. Sadly I drove into Boise and flew out a few days later so I didn't see the sign until I was leaving. I would have loved to have gone and smelt the bloomin' onion. lol. Why do they promote that? Don't you cook onions on your barbecues in the US?
I'm thinking they sell kangaroo steaks there, right? It is actually one of the healthiest red meats, although despite have plague numbers of kangaroos in many parts of Australia most aussies still don't eat roo.
I'm thinking it must be a big chain of steakhouses if there's two outlets in Boise. I'm making a mental note to visit one next time I'm in the US. :)
LongTimeMother (author) from Australia on November 13, 2013:
Thanks for your feedback, Nell. I'm sure it will be good for readers with a fear of flying to hear about yet another successful flight through a storm. And you're right about the cabin crew getting on with the job being kind of reassuring. I'm not sure I'd like to have my drink delivered if it is bumpy though. lol.
Dil Vil from India on November 12, 2013:
So cool, a great article with useful advice. Thank you for sharing the same. Voted UP and useful.
Elaina Baker from USA on November 12, 2013:
This is good advice for anyone who fears flying. I also liked your photo of the Outback advertisement. They have us Americans thinking that what they serve is Australian food. (I hope you had a chance to go there. Their food is awesome.) When I went to went to Ireland with a tour group, I sat next to an Australian lady the entire trip and was surprised (I know, I know) to discover the truth. Marketing.
Nell Rose from Buckinghamshire UK on November 12, 2013:
Hi, this is great advice for children who are flying, yes anything to take their mind of it, especially teddy bears and getting them to remember it so they can tell another family member. I remember going up through a storm once, and the lightning and thunder was booming and crashing, that did make me nervous! but then I looked at the cabin crew and they were laughing and getting on with their work, so I took a deep breath and thought, well, they can do it so can I! lol!
