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Hispanic Parenting 101

Updated on January 4, 2017

10 Parenting Tips/Rules for the Hispanic

I am Colombian. Growing up I always thought to myself, My parents are so extra! I will never be like that! Fast forward to Mommyhood of my own and BAM! I've become my mom. Here is a bit of a glimpse into Parenting as a Hispanic.

1. Never forget, our babies are our everything, but we will cut them down in a second if they give us un actitud.

2. Age is literally just a number… I am 33 years old, mi Mama lives 500 miles away and I still shiver when she threatens me. Parenting win, Ana P!

3. Trust no one except Familia (all 127 of them).

  • We do not do sleepovers… ¡Casa Ajena… No!
  • We don’t just leave our kids with anyone… Babysitter? ¡Ajeno… No!
  • We don’t like people looking at our babies… Mal de ojo… and don’t even think about touching them. Can you say Azabache???

4. ¡Para!, ¡Coño!, & ¡Te voy a joder!, Become key phrases.

5. We require our babies to Saludar everyone when we go to a party or a family member’s house. I don’t give a shit if Tio Franco is drunk… ¡Vaya a Saludar!

6. Older cousins are like Tios & Tias and have full reign to bust your ass if you act up… It takes a village.

7. You have an arsenal of DIY parenting tools… don’t just limit yourself to the Chancleta. The wooden spoon, Correa, Escoba or even a solid hairbrush can be used to drive home discipline.

8. Do not forget the importance of a healthy dose of guilt.

  • Kids forget to call Abuela? Remind them that she is viejita and if she dies, the thought of not calling her will haunt them forever.
  • Don’t like their dinner? Remind them that there are niños in Colombia that don’t have parents, a home, and especially don’t have that Carne Guisada sitting in front of them.

9. Speaking of food. We don’t do this vegetarian shit. You will starve. Period. ¡Comate la Carne Pelao!

10. Finally, nothing in life is free and life is not fair. You will be up on Saturdays & Sundays helping with la Limpieza.

  • Que sleeping in, ni que sleeping in? Did I sleep in on the day you were born? ¡No… levantate!

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