Signs of Bad Parenting
Are You a Bad Mother or Father to Your Child?
Have we not all heard that bad kids come from bad parents? There are several signs of bad parenting. The actions of parents speak louder to children than just words.
As the first teachers of a child, parents are the first influence in his or her life. The attitude, views, goals, and perspective of a child depend to a large extent on what he learns from his parents. What a child learns in the early years is known to have a lasting impression, which is why good parenting is an absolute necessity.
Whenever a child commits a mistake or lacks manners, the blame is mostly put on the parents. Is bad parenting damaging your child? What makes a bad parent? What are the signs? What are the effects of bad parenting on children? How can you be a good parent? I will try to answer these questions.
Overcoming Your Past
The first thing a parent or prospective parent should realize is that you cannot be perfect in all aspects. As human beings we are prone to making mistakes, but one has to learn from mistakes and correct them and not let it affect their children.
Managing tantrums, mistakes and mischief wisely can help make your child a good citizen. Though it may not be easy to be a perfect parent, at least you can try to be a good parent. No two children are alike, and the life of being a parent is a constant learning process.
Many of us (including me) have suffered from the effects of bad parenting. As for me, I had a neglected childhood where I was forced to stay away from my parents and also suffered from favoritism.
I am sure that there are many who have suffered like me and more as a child. But it is up to you to turn that negative into a positive. What I suffered made me a much stronger person. It made me promise myself to be a better parent and never let my children suffer the way I did.
8 Signs of Bad Parenting
1. Avoiding and Neglecting Your Child
Neglecting your child physically or emotionally can affect him or her in a negative manner. Child neglect is a very common type of child abuse, which is more than physical abuse.
Ignoring the needs of children, putting them in unsupervised or in dangerous situations or making the child feel worthless can lead to low self-esteem and isolation. Many times this can affect the mental health or social development of the child and may even leave lifelong psychological scars.
A child needs to feel loved and cherished.
2. Physical and Verbal Abuse
Exposing the child to physical violence or verbal abuse can be very damaging to a child’s psychology. Many children are victims of verbal abuse from their parents.
Many parents vent their frustrations at their children without realizing what sort of psychological damage they are inflicting on them. Such acts can also lead to the child losing confidence and developing an inferiority complex.
Punishment is required when a child does something wrong, but when they are extensively punished for even small matters it may lead to them being rebellious. A child requires physical contact with the parent like hugs, kisses, and other signs of affection. If you yell at your child, call him or her names or say that he or she is no good, you are sending the wrong message.
3. Encouraging Bad Behavior in Children and Not Disciplining
There are many parents who do nothing to discourage bad behavior or manners in their kids and turn a blind eye to their behavior. As the saying goes, what you sow is what you reap.
If you are someone who shouts or uses bad words in front of children then it is only natural that they will take after you. That may be the reason why children of drunkards or smokers may start drinking or smoking at a very young age.
The parents are also in no position to stop them as they themselves have the same bad habits. Fighting or indulging in physical or verbal abuse in front of the child also is not a sign of a good parent. It is very important for a parent to be a good example for the child to follow.
4. Favoritism or Partiality
Favoritism or partiality can be very damaging to a child. In many households, boys get preferential treatment, making the girl child feel useless or neglected. Be it with education, food or essential requirements, girls are often known to suffer, beginning in their own homes.
Many parents even have the habit of complaining to others about their own children. Many grumble or complain about anything or everything in front of others rather than dealing with the problem.
Parents who are overly critical and compare their children to other children are also causing them damage.
5. Forcing Choices Onto Their Children
It is very true that a parent knows what is best for his or her child. But often parents force their choices onto their children without considering their interests, intelligence level or capacity. Many parents are very demanding and look to achieve their own unfulfilled dreams and ambitions through their children.
But when the child can not live up to the expectations of the parent it can be very de-motivating and disappointing. A child requires encouragement and motivation from parents and demoralizing and de-motivating them can affect them adversely.
6. Not Being Wise With Money
Many parents are not very wise with money as far as children are concerned. While some cater to every whim and fancy of the child, others are excessively stingy which may result in the child developing the habit of stealing to fulfill their needs.
At the same time, those children whose every need is fulfilled may fail to realize the real value of money and may indulge in bad habits. So maintaining a balance is very important.
7. Too Much Pampering or Interfering
Like negligence, too much pampering or worrying about children also can spoil the child by making them too demanding.
Many parents protect their children and interfere in their activities in such a manner that when they grow up they become overly dependent on others or grow up as cowards.
8. Not Trusting the Child
Many parents believe others more than they believe their own children. Many times they do not even allow the child to give an explanation. Many parents have no faith in their children and de-motivate them with their words or actions. This sort of behavior can cause a child to be a rebel or do things which they are not supposed to do.
In short, there are several signs and effects of bad parenting. Many kids lose self-esteem, develop bad habits or feel inhibited for the rest of their lives. Parenting is a continuous job and children rely on parents for the same. So make it a point to take time out for children, teach them good manners and correct them when they do wrong.
When parents neglect to set rules and boundaries for their children it is only natural for the kids to become brats or display unacceptable behavior. So it is your choice if you want to be a positive role model or be a bad parent.
I think I have covered all the major signs of bad parenting. Have I left anything? Feel free to add them by way of comments.