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Child Molestation Signs

Updated on April 20, 2016
Child Molestation (fotosearch.com)
Child Molestation (fotosearch.com)

Signs of Wrongfull Touch

There are thousands of children's innocents being violated everyday. The majority of the children that are being wrongfully touched are being wrongfully touched right at home by a family member or a friend of the families. A lot of family members don't know the signs of misconduct or they overlook the acts of a child that's being wrongfully touched, so in my article through my own experiences of being a child that was wrongfully touched by a family member I hope what I went through will shed a little light on what to look out for:

1.) A child that cry's continously when you drop them off at a sitters, family members, day care, etc. or cries when you leave them at home with a person and they never use to cry in the past.

2.) When your child tells you that there's monster in the closet or coming out of a vent and they just can't sleep because they were told this from the one who is wrongfully touching them.

3.) your child suddenly at night is taking off there clothes and your finding them with no clothes on in the morning.

4.) When your child is suddenly wetting the bed for no apparent reason and they never done that in the past.

5.) If your child is being violated at home your child suddenly is by your side at all times and doesn't want to leave your side or suddenly they want to start sleeping in your bed with you.

6.) A sign that I noticed is when you ask your child if someone's doing things to them and they have the look of fear in there eye's and there very quiet because the one that's violating them is in the room with both of you when asked.

7.) A dramatic drop in school grades at school and suddenly your getting notices home with your child that there not listening and doing there work during class time.

8.) If your child is female your child will suddenly complain of her private area being sore when she uses the restroom or her private area is red routinely even though she was tested for an infection. If male they"ll also complain of there private area hurting as well.

9.) You'll also notice your child not listening to what there told to do, they have behavioral out breaks and developed an hate attitude towards everything.

10.) You also notice out of nowhere your child will start calling themselves stupid and they"ll start hitting themselves in the head.

11.) When you child is telling you or someone to touch there private area and giving the private areas nicknames.

12.) When your child is constantly changing there underwear because they feel dirty in that area.

These are a few things that I have experienced and have seen happen with children that have been violated. If you feel your child is being violated don't be afraid to ask them but do it in a room where no one else is around, reassure your child that it's ok to tell you and that you wouldn't get mad and that it's not there fault, also reassure that if someone told them that they would hurt you or them that is't not going to happen that it's all lies, If that's one thing a violator does is they put fear into children that if they tell that they'll hurt them or a family member. If your child says it's a family member don't doubt them by thinking no that couldn't be because I'm sorry to tell you YES it can be and it probably is cause most of the time it happens with in the family. I hope these things that I listed are an eye opener because many people don't know what to look for or understand why there's a change in there childs' behavior and maybe you need to ask yourself if this could be happening to your child.

© 2009


Copyright 2009

Written by Glstngrosepetals


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      Paul 3 weeks ago

      I've a 3.5yr old daughter. My daughter has apparently said I've inappropriately touched her. Which I haven't. S services r involved. So Was The police. I didn't get prosecuted. So I took my ex to court because she was stopping me from having a relationship with her. I've a court order. My daughter is a proper daddy's girl. My ex hates the fact she is. She's done a fb hate campaign against me. Told all her family and friends and people from my area what I've supposedly done. Now all if a sudden my daughter has mentioned to a soc worker I've done something that I know is not true. I know things r being said in her house and by the nan. I just can't prove it. My ex now wants counselling for our daughter. Yet she shows no signs or acts in anyway that would set off alarm bells. She just randomly says things. Like daddy smacks my mooey. She even goes on about her weight. She 3.5!! I'd do a lie detector but after looking into it they don't actually work. Should I just take her back to court?

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      Kim 3 weeks ago

      For years now we have suspected that my granddaughter and her sisters have been molested by their dad. Many years of her complaing her privates hurt and i tell her mother that something is "Wrong"seriously WRONG. She REFUSES To believe her daughter . The other night I was drying her off after a bath and she sharply said that hurts!! I asked why and she told me daddy puts his pee pee in my butt and also said timmy(daddys friend) spits in my Pee Pee) my husband heard her and we quickly took her to cps they took all the children away its been almost a month, we were all set up to take custody again and my daughter somehow had the girls put in foster care, So at lost we did nothing wrong and granddaughter did nothing wrong. Her own mom talks with such hatered towards my husband and Our granddaughter who spoke up of her being raped. And my daughter says to me I will never see her again.The granddaughters father molested his sisters and was put in juvenile and he had his records expunged so he has no criminal records. CPS has the girls and are investagating but give us no info I told them about his past of molesting but that is not showing up in records I am so terrified they will give her back so scared. In washington grandparents have no rights. Cps gave us temp custody when she was 4 months her arm was broken and a prior broken collar bone was noted to be found they couldnt figure out who broke it almost a year later they gave her back to my daughter and her boyfriend. God please someone help her what can we do?

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      Puppy aunt 3 weeks ago

      My niece is being molested she told me her new mother of one month says she knows her secret and is OK with it now I have to monsters in this home and noone believes me how do I help her with no proof

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      AMBER 4 weeks ago

      AMBER

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      Vicky Crum 6 weeks ago

      What if the child is only a 14 month old baby? And all she wants to do is play with herself when your changing her and she's constantly putting her hands in her diaper by her thigh ?

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      La 6 weeks ago

      My daughter is two. Today she came home and I was taking a shower with her. I noticed her butt area was red and so was her vagina. I checked the area and she began crying so I wouldn't look. She has sensitive skin as it is so I'm used to her butt being red from time to time. Her hymen was intact but there was white gunk on the inside of her vagina area. It didn't look like yeast either. She's recently potty training and she's doing well. She takes off her own diaper and goes. Then comes to tell me that she went potty. The past few days she has been abnormally cranky and overly tired. She fights to go to bed. I love her daycare but today I think the man that works the other part of the daycare was on her side of the building today. Im not overly fond of him. He's kind of mean to the kinds. I've been sexually abused so maybe I'm over thinking. She started at this daycare a few weeks ago and so far there has been no problems. She kept digging at herself when we got out of the shower today as well.

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      Melissa 7 weeks ago

      Hello i need any advice on how to deal and not fear with leaving ur kids at a day care pre school or anywhere while u can work. I was molested as a child 3 times and i said i wouldn't ever leave my kids anywhere and my sons father agreed but now he's changed and being selfish so i have no choice but to start working or stay starving. Help please I feel so stuck and hopeless.

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      Misty 7 weeks ago

      Child protective services are absolutely good for nothing! They don't help people, especially children! Child protective services ruins people's lives and children's lives as well. Child protective services should be totally defunded and shut down!! I mean in every state too!!! My daughter had an outcry to Child protective services and the woman did absolutely nothing! Oh the woman claimed, well we weren't here to invest that.. Can you believe these low life scum suckers??!! WORTHLESS!!! I'll be posting all of this stuff on my website. Coming soon..

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      Key 8 weeks ago

      Hello reader, I am having an huge problem and need advise. Please help... 

      I have a 6 year old daughter. She has been doing odd things, well things I find odd. The 3 things are described in this paragraph. #1)For months now she has been taking the clothes off her Barbie dolls. I would repeatedly ask her not to do that but she continued to undress them. I decided to google it to see if I was overreacting. Seems I may have been due to threads of other parents stating its normal. #2)Just last friday I was looking at her gallary on her tablet. I found a recording of her rubbing on herself and taking her clothes off. She then started to pertain to hump something while talking(couldn't completely understand what she was saying) she did that for a while then made a sound like orgasm. Then she fell over and laid down for a few seconds and then put back on her clothes. I was stunned. I asked her about the video and she beings to cry claiming she doesn't know shes just like that. So contacted her doctor that night and on monday I plan to have her evaluated. #3) Okay so today I walk into her room and she had ken and barbie in bed with ken on top. The dolls were fully clothed. I asked her why is her dolls like this and she starts to cry saying ken trying to get the good things out of barbie. I asked, what are the good things? She said a glow stick. I asked, why would he have to be on top? Her response, how else do you get it out? I asked her, has anyone do this to you? She said no. I asked has she seen this before she says she can't remember. 

      My issue is I do not know if I am overreacting or is she showing signs of being molested. For 3 months she has been only around me mainly. I am single and not dating (we live alone). We don't have cable but we do watch movies sometimes. Before summer vacation the following people kept her: school, my dad, her aunt(16years old and her boyfriend stays at her house), her grandmother and her great grandmother, her dad. 

      The thought of my baby being used or exposed to sex is so upsetting. I just lay in my room and cry. I'm her mother, her only parent and as her parent my main job was to protect her and I feel like I failed her. I need to know the truth but she doesn't trust me, even after I told her if it did happen its not her fault. 

      Your personal opinion am I overreacting or are these signs?

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      Anonymous 2 months ago

      My girlfriend's 11 yr old son and 7yr old daughter, wait till we fall asleep and then they start touching each other. She doesn't believe me and it really is destroying me inside. I wish she would believe me but Everytime I hear them moving around I let her know but they outsmart her completely. Sadly, I feel hopeless and considering leaving this family for good. What do I do

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      2 months ago

      @ VON if it were my daughter I would do whatever I had to to make sure that she didnt have to go to her dads anymore!!!! Take her to the doc to make sure she wasnt molested. Take her to counseling to help with the trauma. Get a lawyer.

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      Law Cooper 2 months ago

      A.P.S. and C.P.S. will not help you well this A.P.S. social worker told me that wasn't going to help me and there I was in bad predicament so don't think Diane that they'll help you cause they don't

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      .... 2 months ago

      Please believe your children if they say they were touched.

      I was molested as a child and my mother didnt believe me.

      My 4 year old just told me my bf of a year and a half pulled down her pants and spit on her. That is absolutely nasty unforgivable.

      I wanted him to confess though I believed her so I told him if it was a honest mistake and he thought it was me tell me. Ugh he said it was a mistake he thought it was me.

      I broke up with him and kicked him out.

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      Erica 2 months ago

      A psychological distrubed discriminating police officer in S.E. D.C. is a retaliation officer and is one of many who has not been caught yet! This black officer retaliated on me for some one i complained about and for me complaining about some other stuff or whatever and had some teachers and kids at a D.C. school and some outside neighborhood folks ...etc. bullying my little girl calling her a boy in a dress and i a man when we are not! People were verbally abusing us, had gaslighted and etc. Us off and on for a couple of years because of this policeman and recently, since 2016 after we were forced back into D.C. from L.A. because of lack of funds they have been trying to pedifile her with lesbian and gay activity words, when she is not and threats were made towards us and stuff for us to not tell on them to his superiors...the police guy bragged around me a couple of times saying he wants me to go crazy so i can go to a mental ward. So he has been using my daughter to hurt me by him having some women messing around with my little girl and sexually harrasing her and having some other MPD police guys slandering us to people...it's even deeper than this of what i have mentioned here! This is morally wrong and victimization and the injustice of life! I am sound minded and this officer needs prayer, we all do! My daughter and i needs a hero to survive this officers personal retribution ...I plead the blood of Jesus over my daughter and i...I hope you all gets justice too! U.S.A.

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      Von 2 months ago

      My daughter is 3 and she asked her brother can she see his wee wee. When it came to my attention from him telling me what she asked i asked her questions. I asked who showed you their wee wee at your dad house? She had fear in her eyes and started crying so i comforted her and asked the same question then she say no i ask why she tells me that mommy is gonna get beat up so im real concern now so i asked her again she tells me dadfy told me to touch his wee wee. Im pissed to the max. What should i do? Help me

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      Scared confused 2 months ago

      My sister and niece spent the night since yesterday my niece dad got out yesterday he's crazy in the head I know for sure my sister just wants peace with her daughter and father but after today my niece came back told me her private hurt

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      Angel 2 months ago

      When my daughter sits on her Dads lap I will glance over and she keeps trying to pull his hand toward her crotch and he will pull away. One time he was laying down on the ground and she ran ovwr and sat on his hand and he pulled it away. She neved does this with me what do you l think?

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      Mary 2 months ago

      My 2 yr old granddaughter started about 3 wks ago covering her eyes when changing her diaper. Should I be concerned about this?

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      Becky 3 months ago

      I feel a little afraid. My daughter's father always likes to shower with her and I caught him exposing himself to her when he thought I was out smoking a cigarette. He seems so offended but I'm no fool. Don't know how to catch him

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      Robyn 3 months ago

      Can I also add that they may not be afraid of the perpetrator because the touching can be pleasurable and gives them the warm fuzzies - sadly!

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      Diane 3 months ago

      I hope someone replies back to me. I'm in the middle between my husband and my daughter. My husband is being investigated because my daughter said she had sex with him. He says she's lying. She told the children services and the investigators everything in detail. I believed it then I don't then I do I'm just confused. The investigators said it will take 45 to 60 days. Now they're saying they need more time. Around the 60th day my daughter said her half-brother and her cousin raped her which is another case. My husband did refuse to take a lie detector test. Please tell me what I should do or think or what I'm really getting sick over this.

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      Julie Clarity 3 months ago

      I showed signs of molestation. My godfather helped himself to my body from ages 0-60 mos. I must have done something to give it away, and person who was my father decided to not pursue the avenue of getting me help. He used it, instead, as a was to try and groom me for when he was interested in me, sexually, as a teenager. So, there is no way I would have told my mother, if she even noticed, when he was around.

      I also knew sex was a secret kept between mommies and daddies, so I may not have told her, either, due to the fear of getting beat, again.

      It is a heavy burden for a tot to carry, and it has taken me forty-five years to actually come to a place I am willing to remember what happened and attempt to heal.

      If anyone is standing by while a child is being molested, we do remember. Oh yes, we do remember.

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      No Name 3 months ago

      I found out my 4 year old has been molested since the age of two by her 2 older cousins. Im noticing alot of the symptoms i have been reading online. I understand my baby and I want to help her. If anyone has any info what i can do please please respond i want mt daughter to grow up happy with a healthy mentality. PLEASE I NEED RESOURCES. Does counseling help or will it make it worse for her?

      Her cousins are 11 and 9

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      Mackenzie 3 months ago

      My child has been saying all those things I talked to my boyfriend/her stepdad had he said he did do things to her I broke up with him right after and kicked him out

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      Arielle 3 months ago

      These are all signs and things to watch for. Thank you for sharing.

      This is a problem that we don't discuss enough and it's everywhere.

      My heart goes out to ALL of you who have experienced something like this or are caring for someone who has experienced this.

      I have no words.

      Except that offenders are never 'cured'. Research shows this. They are broken. They deserve NO mercy. NO understanding and NO sympathy.

      And, they will stop at nothing to get what they want. Thousands upon thousands have gone to 'treatment' and have professed to be 'cured' only to offend again. In fact, they get smarter and better at it.

      The only thing we can do is to make our children our priority. Nothing is more important than their safety.

      If you see a red flag, don't stop to wonder why, remove that person from your life. Period.

      These sweet, innocent children need our protection and support above all else.

      Unfortunately, the prosecutorial process is broken and returns few results. You need to rely on yourself to keep your child protected.

      @Jamie, get a life. Only a narcissistic ego-maniac who is bent on criticizing others to make himself/herself look and feel smarter would be unable to see beyond the grammar to the real message here.

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      Marlene sutherin 3 months ago

      I have more of a question, my sister has recently gotten custody of her four year old daughter,my sister came by with her for the first time in 3 years, my 16 year old daughter orabelle was playing Barbie dolls with her, orabelle my daughter wanted o draw her, she freaked out screaming didn't want daughter to draw her at all. Then orabelle my daughter said ok let's take picture of you and again this little girl freaked completely, I don't know why this little girl is so afraid of pictures of herself or drawing of herself, like I've. Said have not seen her since 3 years ago. Maybe someone may shine light to hats wrong here. Thanks

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      Anonymous 3 months ago

      There is a very close acquaintance that I am involved with and they have a 6 year old daughter. She is very spoiled ( which most children are these days), but will throw a terrible tantrum if she doesn't get her way. There have been times she she has trouble pooping, she has gone for days and when she finally goes, it is painful for her. She is always acting out for attention. She is 6 years old and still acts like a baby, sometimes she has a pacifier and sometimes ..even drinks from a baby bottle. She has a babydoll that she carries around in a "real" car seat and refers to her as her baby sister. She wants "real" things for this babydoll, like a new car seat, stroller,, etc. But the most bizarre thing that has me troubled is, just this past weekend she went and got up in her 15 year old sister's lap, like she was going to cuddle with her and then she peed on her sister, on purpose, and then thought it was funny. I am extremely troubled by how she is allowed to act, especially after this past incident. I am not sure if any of this means anything or not, I just know I would never allow my child to behave in this way, and I know it is not my place but there is something going on with this child. I do not know if it's any type of abuse or what....just wondering if anyone has any ideas/comments. Thank you

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      Hmm 3 months ago

      I can totally relate to all of this, I was molested from the age of 6 to age 9 in a half, I was too afraid to tell anyone because I was told that I would get into trouble and that he would kill my family. I'm 21 years old now and it all still relays in my head from time to time, I even harmed myself because of it and wished that it never happened, I hated playing hide and go seek in the dark with him because he'd always find me and do what he wanted, he even covered my mouth so that my screams couldn't carry throughout the house and I just hate him so much for screwing up my life and having me to hate my own life

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      jamie 3 months ago

      It would be so much easier to read and believe if the author could actually write with good grammar. I don't trust anyone with missing grammar abilities or teeth. Usually they're existing simultaniously... lacking grammar and teeth I mean...

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      Disturbed 3 months ago

      To the grandma who's grandson is clearly crying out for help and saying your husband is hurting him and even telling you how.. I left this alone for a couple of days but I am sick in my soul and spirit. How dare you not protect that baby... you should be ashamed of yourself and your just as wrong as your sick husband if you don't do something and get him out of harms way. Anyone who knows of their child or grandchild crying out for help and does nothing is JUST AS GUILTY. I could be sick that more common sense isn't with a bunch of you people.

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      Maddie 4 months ago

      My daughter had all these signs now she is an adult and will not do anything and he has probably touched hundred other kids

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      Samantha Jones 4 months ago

      When I was 12, my mom would go to school. My dad would ask me to make him some coffee. I would take it to him and he would have me sit in his lap with no panties on. He dipped me back on the bed and try to insert his fingers into my private. I told my brother. My brother told me to tell Mom and I did . When dad was confronted by officials , he denied it. The officials believed him. Now that I'm grown, he says that I'm a liar and me and my siblings did him wrong. My mom is still married to that monster and when I go to see her, he's always in my face or he jumps into the conversation that I'm having with Mom. Everytime I bring a female friend to see mom, he tries to get in her face and in her private life and I end up losing a friend.

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      Lamees Tayyib 4 months ago

      If you think your child is being molested by someone, keep them safe and get them away from that person. Limit all access to them! Divorce if you have to or send the kid away to live with someone you trust like your mother until you can finalize the divorce. Please, please, please always trust your kids, kids don't /have/ sexual imaginations unless they've been sexually abused or exploited somehow (yes, even being exposed to porn is a form of sexual abuse and is often done by abusers to groom them into acting like porn stars who, as we know, are forced to engage in often incredibly painful and unnatural acts).

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      Saving Grace 4 months ago

      I've read some of the comments below. Please never give up! If something is being done to you, or you have a thought/feeling about someone you can't shake, pursue action. It is NEVER OK for anyone to touch you without your permission. YOU are in charge of your body. It is your temple. You tell everyone, and keep telling people. Someone will listen. And when you tell someone, you need to give them details. Details alert adults that something isn't right. Please don't be quiet about this, be LOUD! I will pray for all of you.

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      Belinda 4 months ago

      Becky,

      Believe your child. Kids don't know how to make things up like that. If they are saying something to you believe it. Make a journal and write down what she said, when she said it and signs or symptoms. Take her to her primary to let doctor know that way doctor has record of it also. Do it asap. Don't procrastinate.

      God bless,

      Belinda

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      Concerned sister 4 months ago

      My 7 year old sister doesn't like to be washed ' down there ' and I have a feeling that she may have been molested. Some of the signs add up to her behavior.

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      Anonymous 4 months ago

      Im concerned that my 7yr old niece is being molested by her father. What do i do?

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      Aaliyah Turner 4 months ago

      I have distant memories that I'd like to put behind me if when I was a little girl and was molested by my older cousin. He was twice my age. I remember running down the stairs to my mom and him chasing me and her thinking we must have been playing a game. We weren't, I was running. No one ever seemed to notice what he was doing to me. My younger cousin who was also touched inappropriately would watch him touch me and say nothing. He wouldn't laugh at me as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. I remember when I wasn't watching tv and my big cousin walked in (James) he pulled down my pants and kept touching me and told me how beautiful I was. I started crying and my little cousin walked in. He watched as James touched me, he laughed in despite of me as I cried my eyes out begging for help. The worst part was my family was in the living room watching football. If I had been a little louder, if maybe they turned down the tv, or if maybe cousin simply ran out and told for me, but he didn't. I finally go the courage after he touched me and ran into the living room answering told my mom that James pulled down my pants and touched me. NO ONE DID ANYTHING! I finally had gotten the courage but no one helped me. That is probably why I took so long to tell anyone. One day after James had seriously touched me I was pretty sore. I got curious, if my cousin loves me,if he knows what was happening why did he not say anything? What didn't gen let that happen? I asked my cousin, "Landon has James ever touched you inappropriately?" He tells me that " one time James made me pull down his pants and suck his weiner" He then laughed uncontrollably. I started crying and told him that it wasn't ok what James had done to him. I wasn't sick. It was wrong what Hames hadn't done to me, but gen had hurt my family and I was determined to make it noticed. I ran and told my dad and then ran all the way to my aunts house to tell her what happened. DHS came to his house but I still didn't say anything about me. One day at school we were being lectured about being safe for Halloween and staying with our parents and then our library teacher said something about being touched badly and that's you should tell someone. I felt terrible. I went to my classroom and started crying and tried to slit my wrists in class I was whispering over and over that hated my life and that I wanted to die. A child's grabbed my wrist and carried me to my teacher I then told her what happened to me. I didn't care if i lived or died, I just wanted it to be over. I felt dirty and disgusting. My teacher sent me to my counselor who called my mom. My mom came and my counselor told her what happened my mom checked me out and cried. DHS go to involved. I thought maybe, just maybe they could help me so I relived the horror and told them. But they didn't. They didn't not help me they made me feel as though I messed up. That's maybe if in told someone sooner that they could have done something. I still go to the house it happens to me in, I still see my attacker and I even have to see him when I get dinner. I am supposed to "get over" what's he did. I hate him I want him to burn. I am only 11 years old. Only 5 years have passed since he touched me. That sounds just all I remember gen could have touched me when I was a toddler or baby. I feel sick everyday I see James. I am still resentful am dead maybe even hateful to my little cousin who didn't nothing for me. Please if you have a hunch that someone's being sexually abused, tell someone. I know I wish someone would have told for me, I might have been spared all this pain and hatred.

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      Concerned Stepmom 4 months ago

      Hi , i am in situation my husband's daughter came in to his life after not seeing her since she was one . They only been in touch for 5 months so we went and picked her up... She has been here for a week they always hugging , sitting on the couch cuddle up together . He watchs her when she gets up walks away watchs her stretch and pull her shorts down while he sitts there beside her ...I feel uncomfortable for some reason

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      Becky 5 months ago

      My 2 year old daughter started saying my dad hurts my butt I am not sure if I should be worried or pass it over. I asked my husband and he says he would never do anything to her. But I don't want to ignore her comments I tried to get details and she is unable to explain. She just repeats it. She doesn't act any different with her dad but sometimes she cries and says her butt hurts. I never question it because she is usually constipated and has trouble having bowel movement.what should I do I want to take her to be exam but what if it's nothing please advice

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      Auntie 5 months ago

      My nieces father recently told my husband that he saw his own father rushing to put my baby nieces diaper back on when the father walked in the room. I have also noticed my niece beginning to take her diaper off and touching her private and rubbing it on the ground. She has also gone into tantrums where she hits herself in the head and pulls her hair and screams uncontrollably when her mom doesn't pay attention. It's been scary. I found my sisters phone where she has texted the grandfather calling him a disgusting person who deserves to die and all that. So who do I go to report this to if my sister, my nieces mom, doesn't want to come forward. My niece is two years on June 25th 2017

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      Nobody 5 months ago

      My older sister who is 17 years old had wrote in a notebook that she was abused by my parents and I don't know what I should believe. I read this while ago and have never talked to anyone about it because I don't know if it's true or who to tell.

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      concerned gmom 5 months ago

      I am a very concerned grandmother of a precious 3 year old grandson. Here lately when my grandson is visiting which is often, I have noticed what I believe to be very unusual behavior, for instance,he will quietly sneek behind my back and lift up my shirt, carass my back and put his hand down my pants. He goes under a blanket and ask me to go under with him and he will start lifting up my shirt and try to get to my butt as he says. sometimes under the covers he says" lets close our eyes and go to sleep" and then he starts with the carassing again when he sees my eyes are closed. I noticed thisd probably about a year or so ago in the living room and I mentioned to my daughter and she said he does it to her to but it was thought of innocence and not taking seriously because of his age. I did feel very uncomfortable with it. since then he has done it on occasions which is very uncomfortable but here more recent, my daugther and her soon to be ex-husband are living separately and the behavior has become more apparent to the point I have sat her down and asked her if her husband had watched porn with him in the room at any time and she says "he woudn't do that" I dont want to feel this way at all but its all very uncomfortable. anyway, my husband and I have had a huge part in raising my grandson since he was born they have lived with us on two occasions for months at a time and so I have unfortunately seen behavior from my son-in-law that was not acceptable like one time when my son-in-law and my grandson were home I was in the living room along with him and my son-in-law- asked my grandson probably about 10 times "can I have a hug, can I have a hug" I thought that was odd to repeat that it gave me a weird feeling. anyway, back to more recent my husband and I are separated but my husband and I are very cordial and our grandson is a very important part of our lives. My husband lives in maryland and our grandson visits him and help care for him when my daughter needs him. without telling my husband wthat I had confronted my daugther cuple days prior to the behavior my grandson has been displaying , I get a text from my husband out of the blue (my grandson is visiting him at this time)that says " has _____ ever asked you to go under the covers lift your shirt up and tried to take your pants off'? Well that REALLY struck me odd because I did not tell my husband of what I talked with my daughter about. I immediately text my daugther and told her to call me ASAP i had to talk. When I told her what happened she said that her soon to be ex-husband would do that. The next day when I went to pick up my grandson at my husbands house we were in the family room with my grandson talking and there was a comforter out and he puts the comforter over my husband tells him lets close our eyes and go to sleep. Then he makes his way down my husbands back, my husband said he feels like hes licking my back, then said hes trying to bite me. Sure enough my husband cries out from the pain of biting and throws the covers back and he has a red mark on his back. As we are there and chatting my grandson is playing with his toys we are just sitting and talking and I amy on the floor talking, watching tv, wtc. and my grandsond get the blanket again starts doing the pulling of the shirt up and carassing and then he says "grandpa, come here" I told my husband to see what hes going to do. I told him I know its uncomfortable, but lets see whats he does. He whispers to my husband, "lets creep up on her" then whsipers "lets take off her pants" then says, "take off her clothes" then because I have jeans on he says "its hard" (taking down my pants) then he rolls me over and tries to unzip me and although this was very uncomfortable and couldn't been seen because they were under the covers, I had my husband video tape it from my phone. its was VERY disturbing to say the least and it seemed my grandson knew exactly what he was doing. I am one to not start trouble or drama as a matter of fact, I hate confrontation and dont like situtations one bit. but when some thing arises I confront it and of course made to think I am the crazy one. anyway, I really dont want to believe my son in law is doing anythng but I do know that he has watched porn and he, when my daughter and he were together, has badgered her into doing sexual acts with others while he watched beside having a temper problems, uses drugs and has been on a mood disorder med. that would make me feel that he may not be physically abusing my grandson, he or someone has taught my grandson how to behave this way. Please tell me that mine and my husbands instincts are incorrect and I will drop the whole matter. Im sick to the point of nausea and feel like if I call authorities nothing can be proven. besides the fact that my other daugther out of the blue said "mom, did I tell you what _____did. I said "what" she said they were sitting on the couch the other day and my grandson siad, lets get under the covers and close our eyes and fall asleep" he then started to carass her butt and she said it was very uncomfortable. My son also stated that my grnadson was playing cops with him and put my sons hands behind his back put him on the floor. My son was just telling me this but I was taking it all in consideration cause my son does not know whats going on. please, please tell me I have no worries

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      Sabs 5 months ago

      Wish this world can change for the better

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      She 7 months ago

      I really appreciate this article. Thank you for the information. However, I would like it if people would take you more seriously.

      Wrongfull should be wrongful.

      There (in many cases) should be their.

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      Candy 8 months ago

      My 8 year old granddaughter has complained to her teacher that her mothers boyfriend walks in on her while she's trying to dress. She expressed that nothing happened but she said that he made her feel like something was going to happen. CPS has been involved and my daughter has been ordered to keep her boyfriend out permanently or charges will be brought against her. However, she continues to see her boyfriend outside the house and I'm afraid that she will take a chance and bring him in. This man has psychiatric medical records along with substance abuse. What to do?

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      Lenora 8 months ago

      My 3 yr old told me on Dec 16, 2016 while putting up the Xmas tree "Papa put his butt in me. He pulled off his underwear parted his legs came to an erection, open his butt and said Papa put it right here. Every day since that day he's told me the same thing. He told my husband to face, and when my husband said no he did not. My grandson yelled "yes you did". I too went through calling child protective services, because they had one interview with. He wouldn't open up. Now I'm taking the child to therapy. I don't allow my husband to touch when he comes around. He keep saying he would never harm the baby. Now my grandson will not sleep n his bedroom sometimes because he's afraid.

      What can you do?

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      Ashamed of myself 9 months ago

      I'm 16 when I was 11 I was repeatedly molested by my mom boyfriend I always told me mom but she never believed he gets me everything I want & he told me I couldn't tell nobody but I did told my friends & my mom is still with him

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      Tiffany 9 months ago

      I'm under the impression my child is being molested my her father . She is almost three but because of her age the court does not take it serious. She says to me her dad sticks his finger in her booty hole with out me asking. I tell her to tell teachers becuz I have personally have already dealt with dcp&p in which they are no help. He has court visitation so I can't do anything about visitation. I am very helpless. My child goes to a therapist but still nothing since it's not constant becuz of visitation schedules. Any one have any further advice to keep my daughter safe?

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      Lyn 4 years ago

      My 5 year old is very curious about sexting (sex). He sometimes kissing little girls & a friend mine. I tell him repeated. I also noticed he always takes off his clothes & has been touching himself daily. When he was 3 he bent over in front of a guy friend & said look a hole, then touched his but. A couple of months ago he attempted to put a littleness lego guy keychain in his butt & was open about it. Most recently he undressed & had his 4yo stepbrother checking at his wee-wee. When asked about eating to shedt

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      HeadOn 5 years ago

      Only I and my brother know the truth. I'm an adult now and have never told my family. We are not on talking terms and my abuser has vanished from my life. My brother has since passed away yrs ago leaving me alone to fight this demon. I'm a single father now and need to be strong. I thought I had suppresed it but a month ago my 88yr old grandmother was raped by an intruder. It feels like everything has broken loose and I have no one to talk to. I have been forced to face this demon head on and could use a friend to help defeat it, unfortunately because of my emotional fatigue I may have pushed my only friend away that could have helped me. I need to stay strong for my childrens sake but I have gotten very little sleep since my grandmothers incident several weeks ago. I'm facing this issue on my own and pray to God that I'm strong enough to overcome it.

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      anon 5 years ago

      My husband and I are both survivors of child abuse. He was molested by his half-sister and I was taken advantage of by an older neighbourhood playmate. Because of this, we both have a lot of issues dealing with our feelings, self-image and our sexuality. These incidents affect both of us, almost every day, particularly in the way we deal with other people.

      He is the first person I've told about my incident with the neighbour, except for my mother (whom I told the day it happened and she chose to never do anything about it, never even told my father). He alone has helped me open up about it, and become a stronger person, because his wonderful family helped him to deal with his issue (and thankfully the person who hurt him is no longer a part of their lives).

      Please, if you feel that a child you know and love is being abused, contact the authorities. Tell somebody. To this day I have a rocky relationship with my alcoholic mother (herself abused as a child by her brothers) because I blamed her for what happened to me.

      Without my amazing partner I believe I would still be unable to deal with this issue. Talking with someone who understands and has been through a similar time helped me SOOO much. Everybody deserves to be happy and SAFE!!!!

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      Alliebaby1974 5 years ago

      Hi .

      My mother & I are like best friends . We tell each other everything . We always have deep conversations about are past . She's makes me a strong young 16 year old girl . We have been threw A lot . She was raped since she was little until around 7 years ago .

      A lot of multiple thing has happened to her . & she knows I was molested by one of my dads friends that he raised .

      My dad molested his other daughters , family , raped my mom in front of me & my brother many times .

      He molested me too , I didn't start remember him doing it until around 2years ago . Is that normal ?

      I just always had flash backs about the son doing things to me . I was only around 6 . But after I started seeing my dad doing it to me . I would rememeber wakeing up in the mornings wet , not knowing what it was , but now I do . I would wake up in the middle of what he was doing to me , but to embarrassed to face him after , it would be so hard to look at him cause how awkward it would be . I always pretended to be waking up so just maybe he would stop , hoping . But he never did stop .

      My mom knows that I lost my virginity to a boy that I went out with for 2 years . I'm not a girl that trusts anybody . Not friends family anybody . But I trusted him a lot , I'm in secure with my body , I hate people touching me on my legs , waist , anywhere . I have problems with that , I see things so differently from people . I don't like when guys hit on me , I'm not gonna lie a lot of guys want me , I have a figure , I've always had I guess since that happened to me since I was little . I have eyes that everyone wants , lol i don't wanna sound conceited but yeah I'm just good looking from what everyone says. But not in my eyes . I don't think so at all . But sometimes i wished i was able to trust people easilier . My friends always ask but i never really tell . Only sometimes .

      People think I'm a hoe just cause I get a lot of guys but people don't know that I ignore them or I pretend to not understand or something lol .

      When I lost my virginity my cherry never popped , I never told my mom that I never got to experience that cause I'm guessing there the ones that popped it , which is sad cause I think that's something special . But when I told her she started questioning , she knew about the son doing that to me , he was like my best friend though I don't get it . Then I I said well it wasn't only him . & she automatically knew it was my dad . She wants me to be in councilong now .

      She doesn't wan me to turn up like her . She's recently got out of rehab , & got all four of her kids back . I got tooken away & was forced to stay at my aunt & uncles which they assume I'm a whore , just cause they knew what happened to me when I was little & thought j just wanted to have sex all the time cause that's How Usually girls turn out when they get molested , which not all gurls turn Out like that . My mom has always hated them cause my uncle always touched me in weird places , never let me even be seen by a guy , never let me leave his side , said unneccessary comments about my big ass or boobs . And my aunt , she's always hated me . I have no idea why but we could never stand in one room alone together .

      I hate my dad with a passion , I could barely here someone say his name . I haven't talked to him for years.

      I have many friends who has been raped , abused . & just hurt by there own fathers . I don't get it . How could someone just do that ?

      I have been threw much more , but I'm reading threw all these comments & it breaks my heart but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this .

      That there other girls that has to live with something inside that'll always be there , with the fear of guys , or of someone that will scare you for life again .

      But I'm not gonna lie , that's one of the things that has made me such a strong young girl . I don't show my feelings in front of people . I NEVER let people see my cry , or hurt . My mom has taught me the best , since we both went threw the same thing , we understand each other even more .

      I'm thankful for that . I don't know of I would be the same young lady I am today if this has never happened to me .

      But Girls stay strong no matter what . God bless you guys . It's always easy to just smile .

      Smile now , cry later

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Concerned: I think what needs to be done is this. You have two choices on what you can do here. You can wait for the child to come back from the moms house, see if she complains about it hurting down there and see if she says who did it again. If she complains when she first gets home do not bath her or change her clothes also if they don't want her clothes that they bring back home with her don't wash any of those either, what I want you to do is if she comes home and complains take her right to the police station, have her real father go as well, let him tell her it's ok to talk to the police they are her friends and it's ok to tell them who touched her, also when you go take any dirty underwear from there house with you as evidence, some police stations have a table with a scanner that they have a person squat on and it scans the private area and can show if something happened, have her father press charges. or you can get the hospital paper work see what it says if it says anything about being touched down below then her father can take that to the courthouse and file an emergency custody order and an order of protection against the mom and boyfriend and in it he needs to explain why and he needs to put on it that the hospital says she has been touched and she is saying it's moms boyfriend whatever his name is, you should put being molested, and it will ask if harm is being caused and you put yes private area bleeding and raw and child is scared and whatever else is going on with her. It will probably ask about CPS and you explain that circumstances as well on what happened there, that the child is afraid to talk to strangers, now remember she is with her mom right now so her boyfriend and mom are going to put fear into her and tell her not to say anything, keep log of all of this stuff what you posted here, reported, time and what she is saying to you. Whatever you do don't give up, keep bringing it to court, also you can audio and video what she is saying to you and also if she is showing unusual behavior like touhing herself, etc. You will win and get her away from this jerk just keep fighting for her and don't give up and have her dad go to these places as well, he needs to. Let me know how it goes and I'm so sorry that this little girl has to go through this crap. Why people feel they can do this I'll never understand there sick ass behavior.

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      concerned 5 years ago

      well I ended up taking her down to the ER and she told them what she had said to me. they got in contact with CPS and we met with them they took her into a room by herself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches" she said no so now CPS says they cant do anything without her disclosing the information in a room by herself and she cant be checked by a specialist unless CPS calls them and tell them because it is too traumatizing (like being molested is a fun day in the park for her) and since she told me this i have been researching online and she has many symptoms of being molested lately and when i talked to her by myself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches?" she told me yes so when i asked her why didn't she tell the lady that she told me she didn't know she was allowed to which leads me to believe this man is telling her not to tell anyone. so now she is at her mothers house where this man is and when we talked with CPS they said this man was to not be around the children until the investigation is over so we told her mother that and the following day she is telling us CPS told her is allowed around the children. i feel so helpless and CPS is doing nothing !

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image
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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Concerned: If I were you I would have her dad take her to the police department and File charges against that creep. Let her dad explain what has been going on and they will check the child out they have ways of doing this. The police will question her as well. I wouldn't allow her to go back to her moms and her dad should file with the courts for full rights and he should tell the courts she is an unstable mom having men come in and out of her home and putting his daughter as risk of being molested. CPS sometimes doesn't do crap to help definitely take her to a specialist and if they say yes her hymen has been broken and there are problemes down there get to the police station immediately and file charges and don't allow her back at that home. I think what your doing so far is good your taking the appropriate steps. Let me know how it goes.

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      concerned 5 years ago

      i have a 4 year old stepdaughter who is only here every other weekend. Over this past weekend I was bathing her and she didn't want to open her legs for me to wash her then I began to explain to her I have to clean her ( 2 weeks prior she had complained about pain while using the bathroom ) that way it didn't hurt anymore because she had just been treated for a UTI. I finally get her to let me wash her and she cringed in paint when I did. Then she began to tell me her moms boyfriend checks her to see if there is toilet paper in there and I asked her does it hurt when he checks you and she said yes sometimes and sometimes he makes me bleed. so that threw up a red flag to me so I called her dad at work told him and he told me to take her to the ER to have her checked. I took her and there was nothing they could do at the moment since she hadn't been with the boyfriend in the past day. so they reported it to CPS and an investigation will be done. I had her father call her mother that night and let her know what was going on and she said its ridiculous that this is turning into this big of a deal and its embarrassing that CPS needs to come investigate her home. Is that a normal behavior? Also my step daughter HATES her moms boyfriend and never in the past has she hated any of her moms boyfriend (in the past 2 years there has been maybe 6 different men) Also now she has wet herself 4 times in the past 2 days (3 times at night and 1 during the day) and she has not had an accident in the past year maybe year and a half.. I am going to take her to get her checked by a specialist hopefully they can get her in today because in there custody agreement she goes to her mothers house this afternoon and my fear is if this is happening how do we let her go back into that house?

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      achenheart16 5 years ago

      its kinda hard to just say this but as a new member i see many people been in my spot as a mother with a achen heart my life change from sweet happyness to broken pain on Nov.13,2011 i f#cking hate nasty people like Roy Alvarado thanks to him my daughter can't sleep she cant behave and she says nasty words this grown ass man raped my daughter while i was outside with my boyfriend not t make me sound like a bad parent but she was asleep it happened at midnight not only did i just leave her in the room i asumed she be okay at the time i lived with my boyfriend and well we lived with his grandmother i just love how his people seemed to be nice people i didn't ever think my boyfriends family would do harm my child was raped by his oldest cousin while we were outside hanging out thinking nothing like this would ever happen ESPECIALLY ME ;{ ... then all of a sudden i could hear screaming but the first few times i ignored it then i heard a closer so i told my boyfriend i think baby is up so as soon as i got to the front door there was my daughter standing there looking the other way in a historical way i was blank minded you no until i noticed her diaper was halfway off n she was pooped so i took her to the bathroom and that's when i just went from blank to PHYSCO UNFURIATED HURT SAD I knew right there and then she was raped she had blood coming from her private i screamed for my boyfriend and he flipped out i told em what i saw and he was without words i went back to the room washed her off and immidetially called my parents to pick her up my daughter seemed calm she wasn't even crying i was she just kept asking me why you crying mommie what's wrong don't cry shes only two years old why in gods world would anybody do such a thing to a helpless child who cant and don't understand what's being done to them seriously ???? after i made the phone call my parents i ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and went to look for the bastard who did this to my child unfortunely he left before i seen what was done to my child he smelled like poop and look like he was afraid so he said he was gonna go casino .. honestly i noticed he changed his shirt and all of a sudden needed perfume for himself ... he left blood n poop stains with his hand prints on the wall leading from the room my daughter was to the living room and as i started putting the puzzle together i noticed a lot sh#t my boyfriend till this day is indinial i believe its cause it was his cousin and his cousin has kids who i assume he to has touched but they wouldn't ever no .. it kills me idk how to live if all i do is cry and take it out on myself now ya no as well feels good to let it out i just wish it never happened in the first place cause honestly the bastard never got told on i was threaten by him so im scared to tell and at the time i was scared to inform the cops ;"("""""" F##K YOU ROY you nasty fuck !!! idk how you csn live with yourself i hope you burn in hell ... cause and one day ill soon forgive you because that's what my god would want me to do but im broken and unhealed so till then i cant !!

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      lilbuggirl: Hi I think you should tell your mom the truth about what happened to you. It might make you feel better and lift the weight off of your chest that you've been carrying around for so many years. I'm glad he was convicted but he should serve more time for what he has done to you as well. I think you should get into counseling to help with trust issues and to also help you through this. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you get counseling and let your mom know that it happened to you as well.

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      lilbiggurl 5 years ago

      I am sixteen years old. When I was six or seven, I was sexually abused. I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't realize what was going on at the time.I was just scared. Up until not too long ago, I had thought my experience something of the past. I recently started a psych class, and in it I started to recognize some of the behavioural traits in myself.As I learn more I come to realize just how much this has affected me, and how keeping it inside for so long affects me even still now. He was my babysitter. He had a girlfriend too, lived with him. They were drunks. I remember hearing my mom talk about it. I always saw beer around their house, I thought it couldve been pop. I only remember it happening once, but I think it happened a lot more than that. I have blocked out ( the term is repression ) almost the entire thing except for a few minutes, the way he did it....it felt like I was in agreement..at first. he somehow got me sitting on his lap. I remember his girlfriend up in the shower. He asked me if it was okay and he put his hand down my pants...after a few minutes I heard his girlfriend coming down the stairs and got terrified. I remember saying I had to go and running from the house. I don't know if she knew or not. The last thing I remember is walking the street alone thinking I would never tell anyone. I didn't know what was gong on, or why I was so scared. I don't remember anything for the rest of that day, where I went after, what I did. I had to go back. I begged and pleaded my mother please don't make me go back there. Time and time again I went back. I was terrified. I found out he had been doing it to other girls in the neighbourhood when he got convicted. I remember the first thing my mom saying, if he did that to my girl she wouldve told me, then look at me and ask, right? Ive always agreed. even if the story should come up in passing she always brings that up. its like subconciously, she knows. i have never been one to want attention drawn on myself, and at this some ten years later, I don't know what telling anyone would do. but any idea how to conquer the trust issues, the mood swings, the non comittal relationships, the self hate? id like to know...thanks

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      gogigirl 5 years ago

      I posted the following a couple of months ago: After reading it again, I left out some key parts:

      What I failed to include is that when one of my sisters approached my dad 30 years ago, it was about fondling her and he didn't remember. Side note: He was an alcoholic. The things mentioned in the dream were all real memories. The only difference was that there was that important detail I talk about. And when mentioning the medication, I think I failed to say that it has been known to enhance memory. Since this post I have confronted my mother and 3 sisters. 2 sisters and mom all confirm sexual abuse. I suppose my question is that is it possible to repress a memory for so long? I cannot talk to my dad about it. He has no recollection of my sisters abuse that she approached him about and vividly remembers. So how and why would he remember anything with me? I'm simply trying to connect many dots! Help would be helpful! Thank you again!

      Hello, I'm going for counseling starting Jan 10 2012. I started taking a med for a sleep disorder. Nuvigil. It stimulates a part of the brain for more waking hours during the day. I don't know if it's the med, but I had a very detailed disturbing dream about my dad. He used to make me sleep with him as a child. I can account for the "breaking of my seal" so I never considered being abused. Well, my mind is flooding with thoughts and memories that could be making sense of my 52 years of life. In the dream, he was using the area between my thighs for friction. What made it more disturbing is that in the dream I could see "it" and "it" was uncircumcised. My dad is uncircumcised. I've talked to only a couple of really close people including my husband, who has been amazing. I have a feeling that I will begin to heal from 52 years of self abuse, anorexia, self loathing and hatred, anger, OCD issues etc. Here is a couple of many problems. I have 3 sisters. One four years older and two, each a year apart, younger than I. Dad was an alcoholic. He is remarried now and this is not a part of his current life. One sister approached him 30 years ago about fondling. I was soo angry with her thinking she was being convinced it happened. I feel so bad now. Should I talk to my sisters? Why drudge it all up with my dad, who I have always had a good relationship with, (or so I thought) and possibly ruin his marriage. I'm certain he hasn't been drunk or alone with any children. I know if I was to say anything to him about any of this, it would crush him as I'm sure he doesn't even know and or remember. You'd have to know him to know this. Is it possible he has suppressed memories? Seriously, after all we've been through in 52 years of life, and now, just now all of a sudden this is all hitting me? I'm excited to heal and move forward......

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      PrplSun 5 years ago

      Confused, I think when it comes to the safety of a child you can never be too sure. You should always question anything you find strange but on the other hand the first impression I got after reading that is she is potty training. 2 is the common age to potty train. With what you have been through it is totally expected for you to derive that meaning from the statement made by your boyfriend but that isn't the only meaning it could have.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      victimofchildabuse- I don't think that GOD will punish you, you had no control of what happened to you as a child. If anything GOD is going to punish the one's that hurt you. I wouldn't worry to much if I were you, especially if your happy and safe now. You can always talk to a priest,minister,etc and get there input.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Ijustknow32- Good I'm glad he was convicted. I'm glad she in know away from him. I hope you both are getting counseling though to help her and you. I wish the best for you both and hope you both can now heal.

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      Victimofchildabuse 5 years ago

      Will God still punish me for being bisexual even though it was not my fault . For feeling this way after being abused .

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      ijustknow32 5 years ago from Lacombe

      Concerned Aunt as far as your nephews go they are too young to be considered child molesters at that age it is pure curiosity. just let them know that it is inappropriate to touch each others private parts. if the 5 year old is still doing stuff like that when he is 8 or 9 then get him help right away. maybe also ask him if someone has touched him that way. he could be doing what was done to him. my daughter after what was done to her was doing things to kids younger than her and when asked why she said because the kissing monster told her to. (meaning her molester)

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      ijustknow32 5 years ago from Lacombe

      things are way better now glstngrosepetals. her father was finally convicted not for what he did to my daughter cause with out her disclosures to authority there was nothing that could be done however he was convicted for what he did to the other little girl. i was informed by his own mother that he had to register as a sex offender now. i will not post his name on here as much as i would like to but for my daughters safety i have to leave it out. i wish that canadians had access to the sex offender registry like the states do cause then i would know for sure.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      ijustknow32- I'm sorry for what your child has gone through. I have to say that I'm glad CPS is on your side. I wonder if you can request a different judge since the one that is assigned to you seems to have no interest of your childs well being. I thankyou for sharing this with us, stay strong and keep fighting for your daughter. let me know how things go. :)

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      ijustknow32 5 years ago from Lacombe

      i know how these parents feel when they say we should record everything that our children say, unfortunately in canada that kind of stuff does not hold up in court. i went thru a big battle with my ex after he molested our 7 year old daughter she was only 4 years old when i found out ( he had custody of her) and he had custody because i too suffered from depression and was going to AA meetings but when found this out i was lucky enough to have my daughter for a weekend visit and i right away phoned child welfare who informed me not to return her to him. until there was a full investigation. during the investigation i had to still give him some sort of access to her he was able to talk to her on speakerphone and he got supervised visits one day a week for a few hours. unfortunately because there was no physical evidence and she would not disclose anything to the authorities he ended up getting unsupervised visits. that devasted me i wanted him to pay for what he had done i wanted the courts to help me protect my child. and they failed (so i thought) then suddenly there was a light. my daughters father had struck again with someone elses child a child that wasn't afraid to speak up ( thank goodness ) i ended up getting a visit from child welfare in which they suggested that i go back to court and get the visits removed. that was hard to do because even tho they gave me a letter saying they had no concerns as long as she remained in my care the judge didn't see it as counting as visits too. so he still got access but it was supervised only unfortunately it was for a whole weekend not just a few hours. i did what ever i could to work with the system to protect my child but nothing seemed to work so all that was left to do was to wait til the final court hearing. and take matters into my own hands (no i didn't harm him) child welfare paid me another visit and suggested that i move closer to my family and said that they would work with me to keep him away from her. i would have done anything to keep her safe even if i wasn't able to take custody of her i would have had child welfare step in and take her into their custody.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      mentally111- I would like to know do you have visitation rights to your son? If not what you need to do is straighten up your life, which i see you said past drug use so hopefully your not using, also get your depression under control with medicines prescribed by a doctor seek counselong as well, also have the courts or do it yourself but have a place called TASK drug test you better yet file papers with the courts to have some rights giving back if the drug use issue comes up tell the judge that you are willing to have the courts test you weekly to see to it that your clean, this is a good thing for the judge to hear, it shows your willing to change but you have to stay clean from now on, as you continue to stay clean and straighten out your life continue fighting for more rights so you have you son more, maybe eventually it can go where you have him for a week and then his dad, this way as time goes on if something is happening and you son is with you that week and states something is going on you can take him to the police station and let your son tell the cops what has happened and hopefully then they will make an arrest. I know it's hard and it's baby steps but you have to stay strong for your son and don't give up the fight. Prove to the judge that your a good mom and you have your life together and stay clean I think you have a good chance at regaining more rights and then you can protect your son and he can go to the police. I'm sorry about your brother and I can't even imagine the pain your feeling but stay strong don't let yourself get weak and fall and if you have pick yourself back up and do what's right for your son and you. I hope this helps let me know how it goes.

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      Mentally Ill concerned mommy 5 years ago

      My brother when he was 19 years old He told me my cousin molested him when he was 10, I couldn't believe it I was beyond angry, My brother and I were very close, So i wanted to literaly KILL HIM, . Anyway I tried helping my brother, I told him I was molested too, but we have two choices either we can be survivors or victims, I told my brother I was here for him anything he needed, But his world got too dark , I found him dead in my bedroom after commiting suicide , This happened in 1999. And now my 7 year old son is telling me his step grandfather has touched his pee pee and my son was very specific too, I took him to court and do to lack of evidence nothing was done, Of course the stepfather denies everything , its driving me insane i don't know what to do , i feel like a bad mother i should of protected my baby, I don't have custody of my boy do to my depression and past drug use, so his father his full custody, and the step grandfather is still in his life, my sons life , im still supicouse do to many reasons, one my step dad spoils my son with gifts anything my son wants he buys it, two, step dad acts too guilty sometimes or deffensive, I feel like my son is still being molested and i am powerless everyone sees me as the crazy mentaly ill physco . but that's not the case i feel like i failed as a sister for my brother, and now this is probably happening to my son?! Im going crazy i don't know what to do. I feel usless and powerless, I want to protect my baby :( help

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      ??- It depends on what she saw on TV and what she is relating to it, but If your husband has done something sexually to your child then you definitely need to do something about it and get your daughter away from him. A grown man doing anything like that to a child is definitely not normal and it will probably continue. If I were you I'd seek help through a counselor but if he is sexually doing something to your daugher he will probably be arrested and he needs to be if so. Protect your daughter she comes first.

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      ?? 5 years ago

      I think my childhood sweetheart who's my husband of 12 years has done something to my3 year old daughter she saw an Ad on Tv and told me that's what daddy done and went onto more detail....I just need to know can he stop...is there any chnace we can make things right..all my kids love him and they are not scared of him..Im sure they will be devasted as I am to leave...but can he get mental help...can he change?..or is it the begining ...So confused...I love my family...but will protect my children...

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      RioNilo- Thankyou for your comment and I totally agree with you.

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      RioNilo 5 years ago

      Dear posters - I'm a mom of two girls and a victim of molestation same here no one believed me - my eldest daughter was also molested by the babysitter's brother and believe when I say this not by experience but because I've know of people of have been molested by their own dad - this is unthinkable and can't imagine how painful it must be for the mother to hear this from their own child, confront the husband and even send him to jail ...but please I beg you to listen to your kids, they deserve to feel safe and if the people who are supposed to be protecting them are doing these to them, who else can they trust. You may be heartbroken but they have a life ahead and our responsibility as parents to keep them safe. Help them heal and get yourself help to get through it....God won't leave you -You are not alone ---Let's save our kids from these predators...they are helpless little creatures...please take care of them.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      GT- Thankyou for sharing with us. I'm sorry that you and your son are going through this. I'm also wondering if the girl was molested at one point to make her do what she has done. I agree there are times when the system fails children and it breaks my heart. Lately it seems they fail more then anything. I hope in court the truth does come out about the case worker because it definitely needs to. I also feel your right a person does need to record and document everything including a name of who they spoke to, a time and a date. Please keep in contact and let us know how everything goes.

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      gt 5 years ago

      All I can say is, if you ever have a situation where your child discloses to you, if at all possible video the conversation. I believed my 5 year old when he told me his stepsister was touching his privates and I am now fighting a major court battle for protecting my 5 year old son. Regret? Yes, only one, that I did not record EVERY contact I had with DCS.

      Please, believe your children and protect them but record everything possible and MAKE SURE to seek help in the private sector before depending on an over worked, underpaid system -- especially when it is in a small town and eveyone knows everyone. That is why I am where I am, someone is doing a favor for someone and they apparently do not care that they have endangered the life of a child and adversly affected others in the process.

      In my situation, there is evidence, that because the DCS worker had a desired outcome, she failed to properly investigate and her dishonesty will be proven in court, soon. Meanwhile, my son is heartbroken because he told and now he cannot see his sister and worse, my step daughter now lives with the person she fears the most (that is from her own mouth). She has said since her removal from Dad's home "no one can save me now".

      Very sad and avoidable - please, be smart than me and record, document, record. Get independent non-family, good moral character witnesses involved.

      But above everything, protect your children!

      You will definitely be hearing more from me! Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you respect that I am just wanting everyone to protect themselves too.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Gil- No your definitely not alone with the life style you have chosing. I'm not sure where you live but here on the west coast the lifestyle is a lot similar to yours. If your both happy then I wouldn't worry to much about it. Life is to short to worry.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Gil And Dina- Also you both chose an alternative lifestyle as many others have and people should not judge you for that.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Gil And Dina= Hi I just wanted to say if your both comfortable with what you're doing and have an agreement with what your doing then that's your choice as long as you both are happy then I don't see an issue with your decision.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Gil- In my opinion I wouldn't go because I feel that in time it will cause problemes with your marriage. I also think that you want to heal from what has happened to you and that by going your living in the past. Your not a monster you have been through an ordeal that was very tramatic for you and it shows. I think you and your wife should find something that you really enjoy doing together and try to stay away from anything that has to do with the past. I think it would be healthy for both of you. Try things like bowling, playing pool,etc. Take a blanket when it's warmer and go outside and lay on it together and look up at the stars while holding hands and talking. I know in the bible it says God is against the same sex so I can't answer that question for you but I know God is a forgiving God and if you ask for forgiveness he will forgive but that means you can't go and commit the same sin. I hope this helps and I think it's a start for you and a new beginning by asking me for help, your admitting something is wrong and I can see it hurts you, I'm not a psychiatrist though and I'm giving you my opinion on things and what I would do to help me heal. I hope this helps you.

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      Gil 5 years ago

      My mother did not believe me for yrs before she past away. Making me feel like monster. So, I finally told my wife. She was in the same way. The same thing happened to her. As, a child by her cousin. And now we are both going to gay clubs . Dancing with others. Is this good we don't know . One thing is we come home safe. Will God punish us for this matter. Plz help. Classes don't work.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Gil- I'm sorry for what you went through and are going through right now. Statistics show that when a male child is molested by another male that when they get older a male questions his sexuality because of what you went through, so what your feeling is normal do to what you have been through. I think you should look into counseling and try to get some help for what your feeling. I also think after you start going to counseling you should also be fair and honest and talk to your wife about what you have been through and what your feeling, if she truly loves you she will help you through this so your marriage lasts. She will probably be shocked and upset at first but honesty it is the right thing and you both took vows and if your love is strong you'll both get through this. I hope this helps and please keep in touch and let me know how it goes.

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      Gil 5 years ago

      When I was 5 yrs old I was abused by my older brother. Over and over until we were caught by my other older brothers . And I still cont. to inter course with my friends til age 6. And life went on normal. But was made fun from my other brothers and now that im 44. And married for 20 yrs. My mind still confused. Wanting to go out with gay guys. But im married . I feel good thinking of being with other guys. My life is screwed up. Plz help me some one.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Laura: Hi I'm sorry for what you went through. I know exactly how you feel. You can still take action against them for what they have done to you. I'm glad your out of that situation know and that you have an understanding boyfriend. I think that maybe you should get into some counseling to help and I'm pretty sure your boyfriend will be supportive of this in every which way. I am truly sorry for what you had to deal with and please let me know if you get into counseling and how it's going and if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.

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      Laura 5 years ago

      I was molestered when I was 12 years old by my older brother then as I got older my little brother did the same I felt so discusting... I felt that it was my fault a few years on my grandad did it but only when he looked after us and drank a lot. I really hated my family, I told my mum about it and she believed me at first but then I got scared because all of these strange people kept coming to see me so I told my mum that my brother hadn't done it and that was my biggest regret because when I tried to tell her again when it happened again she didn't believe me and that went on just before my 18th birthday... My boyfriend of two years now had rescued me I told me everything then he said did you want to live with him and so I did, Also when I was a child I used to cry alone in my bedroom and I couldn't explain it. I used to hit myself and wanted to just fall asleep and never wake up again.

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      Confused 5 years ago

      Thank your for that kind advice.. I feel bad for the child if ever something is really going on since she is just two years old.. I will indeed try to talk to him but I don't know how to approach him.. I just hope and pray that nothing is really going on because denial would not help me in anyway...Being sexually abused as a child is very difficult you would really wonder why there are people who would try to abuse children ...

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Confused: I'm not sure how close you and your boyfriend are but If I were you I'd talk to him, tell him that what he said sounded a little akward and maybe share with him why it made you feel that way and what you've been through. If he is truly in love with you he will understand and respet your feelings and if not then let him go because if he can't respect how you feel then he never will. I hope this helps. Also you might want to get into some counseling to help relieve some of that anger as far as the trust issue because of went happened to you that's a fear that just doesn't go away, I still to this day have issue's with trusting especially when it comes to my children.

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      Confused 5 years ago

      Hi I wanted to share my own experience about this.. this is the first time that I would be expressing this kind of thing and I am glad that somehow I have this opportunity. When I was a kid, I was molested by my cousin who was way older than me, I was also molested by my brother.. I'm honestly full of hatred that this kind of thing happened to me and because of this I find it hard to trust people... This kind of experience is very traumatic every time I remember it, it just make me feel so sad and disgusted.. I try my best to forget but somehow the bad memory has its own way of commming back. I don't know what to do.... Another concern that I have is my boyfriend he sleeps at the bedroom of his older sister who has a two year old daughter.. He openly admits to me that he sleeps in his sisters room beside her neice. I didn't want to give any malice to that but if I look back to my own experience it gives me this fear.. The other day I was in his sister's room I he was also there we were both playing with his neice and then he said " Oh your wearing panties" while kissing her on the lips like a smack. That moment I felt fear in my heart. I honestly didn't know what to think or do... Can you please give me some advice.... thank you

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Maddeline: I'm sorry your Uncle did that to you. He had no right to violate you like that. If I were you I would sit down with your mom and Dad or one of them alone and talk to them and let them know what happened to you and tell them why you haven't said something sooner and that your telling them now because your worried about your cousins. Don't be afraid to bring up the past because this is still bothering you to this day and you need to maybe get some counseling to help you get through the memory of what happened. Please talk to your mom or dad and let me knows how it goes. I think doing this is the right thing to do and you'll also being saving your cousins by talking to someone about it.

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      Maddeline 5 years ago

      hi i'm now 17 but when i was 14 i was touched by my friends uncle in the gential area, i don't know what to do, i have told friends but still find it difficult to forget. i don't want to bring the past up but i'm now satrtig to get worried considering my friends uncle has children.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Ashamed: Im sorry to hear about this horific event. #1. Keep your daughter safe and listen to her. #2 Take your daughter out of the situation that involves him. #3 Get your daughter tested at the hospital or police station. #4 Confront him with your daughter in a safe place away from him. #5 seek counsiling for your daughter and you #6 press charges for child molestation as this will continue if you allow it to. Please keep in touch and any other questions i can help with please let me know. Please be smart and listen to your child.

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      ashamed of it all 5 years ago

      I ashamed to say that my 4yr old just told me that my husband has touched her on her pee-pee. As a child i was molested by numores family friends and cousins n even a teacher it all strtd at 5 and didn't stop till i was 15 and to this day i have never told my mom n dad. But my daughter has told me and she has showed severl signs of it but i don't know where to start in taking action bcuz she says it happned when we lived in our old house and i was at work well we moved out of that house 2weeks ago and i haven't wrkd in several weeks almost 2 months but her behavior has gottn really bad when she use to be a sweet angle and did everything she cld to be nice to ppl now she hits her self in the head gets angrey very easy and just talks jibber jabberish ll the time at first i wrote it all off as jelousy due to haven a new baby. In 9 weeks but she wasn't this way when i had her brother 1 1/2 yrs ago and she's always cryn when i tell her she has to stay home with my husband. And s well as severl other things. Please someone respond and tell me what is the firsstep that i need to take to get help for my child. She was brave enough to tell me wat has happened but I'm scared and do not know what i need to do. Sincerely ashamed by it all

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Naomi: Hi. It's really hard to say if something happened or not being that she is so young and can't tell you. I think the decision you made was a good one because I would of done the same by not allowing her to go over there anymore. I feel if a child is uncomfortable going somewhere or being around certain people then people should listen to there children's behaviors and not force them to be where they don't want to be. I think as parents if we start listening and paying attention to our children's actions then it just might help bring down the statistics of children being molested. I honestly believe you made the right decision, always go by your natural instincts and gut feeling... Thanks for sharing.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Tink: Thankyou for your comment. Something could of happened to you as a child but if you have no memory of anything bad happening I would think that being in the room and pulled up on a mans chest and being afraid could be maybe you had a dream or you possibly were some where other then home with your parents and just didn't feel safe. I think you shaking when your with a new partner is just your nerves from being with a new person your dating. I would just relax and enjoy the company of your partner. I hope this helps and good luck.

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      naomi 5 years ago

      I have a toddler. at the time she just turned two. I made a friend thought I knew him well. then i started to notice that A. She was getting red rashes on her vagina, B. she would kick me and scream at the top of her lungs every time I went to change her C. she wouldn't let me out of her sight, D. she wasn't excited to go see her friend when ever we went there. So I stopped seeing them. I had no proof if they were mistreating her. I would even ask her by myself, but with her being as young as she was she couldn't give me a yes or no answer. then she started to play with her dolls and go right to there vagina. We no longer live close to them anymore or have contact with them. But I always suspected that her friends dad did something to her. but I wasn't sure. I wasn't susre that if everything i listed was a phase that all kids go through or not.

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      Tink 5 years ago

      I'm really not sure if I should even be posting here. I have just had this feeling for a while.

      I have this one memory of when I was a child - It was a dark room and I was being pulled up to lay on top of a mans chest. I remember not wanting to be there in that room. I remember being scared and uncomfortable. I remember there was a loud fan going in the background but it was still very hot. But that's all I can recall.

      I do know that when I was younger I had a lot of problems with my private area always being inflamed. And now in today's society I sometimes start shaking uncontrolably for no reason at all when lay in bed with someone I'm dating.

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      Cindy 5 years ago

      Leticia

      I agree with you. I think your sisters boyfriend is molesting the three year old innocent girl he is showering with. First, I want to know why in hell would your sister let an opposite sex person shower with your baby girl??? That's just wrong. Its like he wants her to look up and ask questions about his adult body parts or something. THAT IS COMPLETELY INNAPPROPRIATE AND ABUSIVE BECAUSE NO THREE YEAR OLD NEEDS TO BE FORCED TO LOOK AT SOME GROSS ADULTS THING HANGING ABOVE THEIR HEAD IN THE SHOWER! I would talk to your sister about what you are hearing going on when you are by yourself with her. If she doesn't handle it call CPS before her boyfriend threatens your sister and they move away and that poor baby of God is in more danger. Trust your instinct because they are right. Im sorry, but your right.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      MoMofKandK- I think your decision of not allowing your children over ther eis an appropriate decision I would of made the same decision as you did. I'm not sure if it's molestation or if something is going on but I'd bring it to there parents attention on what happened and you felt it was innappropriate and that whatever these children are seeing or whatever is going on needs to stop asap. I would definitely stick to your decision on not allowing your children over there anymore to keep your kids safe. I hope this helps.

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      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Absolutely depressed mom: I'm sorry for your pain and in time your daughter will realize what he did was wrong right know the probleme is he brain washed her into thinking she was special and that it was ok and that's what child molesters do, the signs I have listed above are just some but not all every molester acts in there own way and your case just happens to be in a different way. I can understand why you still love him and why part of you hates him, it was a relationship that you always wanted and he trated you like you wanted to be treated it felt like true love but behind the man you fell in love with was another side of that person you didn't know about so I can see why you say you love him because it was a shock and you weren't ready to let him go but you had to because molestation of a child isn't right so he was taking away to prison. I know what I'm about to say will probably hurt and I'm sorry but if he was molesting your daughter then he truly didn't love you he was pretending to to be able to be with your daughter and he is wrong and sick for it but eventually down the road you will find true love when the timing is right. I'm so sorry your going through what your going through. Give your daughter time she is still very young and doesn't fully understand but as she gets older she will realize what he did was truly wrong. Please keep in touch with me and what you did was the right thing to do.