I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and the mother of two, doing everything that needs to be done to protect my children.
Signs of Wrongful Touch
There are thousands of innocent children being violated every day. The majority of them are being inappropriately touched right at home by a family member or a friend of the family. In other words, it doesn't matter how well you think you know your family, it only matters that you know and react to the signs of abuse.
Most people don't know what signs to look for, or they overlook the little clues in front of them. Through my own experiences of being a child who was wrongfully touched by a family member, I hope to shed a little light on what to look out for. Some of these things might not be anything to worry about, but they might also be warning signs of abuse.
- Crying. A child who cries continuously when you leave them or drop them off with a person, sitter, family member, daycare, or elsewhere. Also pay attention if they start crying when they never used to cry before.
- Sudden negativity. If your usually polite child suddenly displays rudeness or some other unusual reaction to a particular person.
- Monsters. If your child tells you that there's monster in the closet (or somewhere else), you should take this seriously.
- Missing clothing. If you put your child to bed in pajamas but find them with no clothes on in the morning.
- Attachment. If your child is suddenly by your side at all times and doesn't want to leave you or suddenly wants to start sleeping in your bed with you.
- Fear. When you ask your child if someone's doing things to them and they get a look of fear in their eyes. They might not answer truthfully, but you might see their fear.
- School performance. A dramatic drop in grades at school or a teacher's notice that indicate your child is not listening or doing their work.
- Pain or irritation. If your child (male or female) complains of pain when using the restroom. If there is redness or pain in their genitals, anus, or mouth.
- Lack of attention. You'll notice your child is not listening or has behavioral outbreaks and develops a negative attitude towards things they used to not mind.
- Self-harm. You might notice that your child has started calling himself stupid or has started intentionally punishing herself (cutting, hitting herself in the head, etc.).
- New vocabulary. Your child might suddenly ask you to touch their private area, or they might have new words for their body parts.
- Underwear. If your child is constantly changing their underwear because they feel dirty.
- Blood or infection. If you see any signs of infection or blood in their underwear, take them to the doctor right away.
- Sexualized play. If sexuality suddenly becomes a theme of your child's games with dolls or toys, especially if the dolls suddenly start performing sex acts you didn't know they even knew about.
- Inappropriate touch or sexual behavior. If your child tries to touch children or adults in their private areas, or if sex suddenly becomes a topic.
- Sexual kissing. Tongue or sexual kissing can be a sign.
- Self-penetration. If young children putting fingers or toys in their anus or vagina.
- Sleep issues. If your child develops nightmares or other sleep difficulties.
- Change of appetite. If they stop eating, start to binge-eat, or have difficulty swallowing.
- Mood swings. Sudden bursts of anger, insecurity, or fear might be a sign that something is going on.
- Indirect communication. A child who can't talk about it might leave some kind of clue, hoping to provoke you to start a discussion.
- Sexual imagery. If your child suddenly starts writing, drawing, singing, imagining, or dreaming sexually explicit things.
- Regression. If an older child starts acting younger (sucking their thumb, using baby talk, etc.).
- Fear of nudity. If your child resists removing their clothes for a bath, to change, etc.
- Refusal to bathe. Inadequate personal hygiene might be a sign of a problem.
- Avoidance. If your usually affectionate and loving child suddenly avoids physical contact.
- Bed-wetting or accidents. When your child is suddenly wetting the bed for no apparent reason and they never did that in the past, or if a potty-trained child suddenly starts wetting or soiling their pants.
- Lack of interest. If they start losing interest in things they used to enjoy.
- PTSD symptoms. Many of the signs above are also symptoms of a post-traumatic stress disorder: Agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destruction, social isolation, flashbacks, fear, anxiety, loss of trust, loss of interest, guilt, insomnia, nightmares, etc.
What If a Child Says They Are Being Abused or Molested?
The first and most important thing to do if your child tells you something inappropriate happened is to always, always take the child seriously, no matter whom they say did it. If they muster up the courage to come to you for help, you simply must respond like a responsible, caring adult.
- Believe them. There may be a tiny chance this is all just a misunderstanding, but that is highly unlikely. Your job is to resolutely take your child's side, protect them, and find answers.
- Don't freak out. Again, you must be the adult here. This is not the time or the place to break down or lose your temper. You can do that later.
- Comfort them. The child needs your love and reassurance now. Make sure they know that it's not their fault, that you are on their side, and that you will do everything in your power to prevent anything like this from happening again.
- Make them safe. Make every change you need to make to remove the child from danger and cut off that adult's access to your child: not tomorrow, not next week, but now. If you need to change where you live, then do it. If you must pull them out of school, do it. If your child was abused by a family member, you must break that family tie to protect your child, at least until you find another solution. This is not the time to delay, keep secrets, or worry what people think. The only thing that matters is your child's safety.
- Get help. Call the police, go to the doctor, file reports, enlist services, find counselors. Get all the help you need to protect your child and help them (and you, and your family) recover.
Many children continue to be friendly or affectionate to the person who is sexually abusing them.
What Kinds of Touch Are Wrongful and Inappropriate?
Child sexual abuse does not have to involve sex, penetration, or nudity. Any time an adult or older person touches or handles a child inappropriately, even if the child doesn't seem to notice or mind, is problematic. Hugging, "playing," rubbing, lap-sitting, and any other physical contact might be considered abusive. Remember, sexual abuse need not involve touch at all—a child can be sexually abused with words only, for example, or with a camera.
According to Crimes Against Children Research Center, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are sexually abused by age 18.
Signs That an Adult Might Be Sexually Abusing Your Child
It’s up to parents, family members, and friends to keep an eye out for the following "grooming" behaviors in the adults who come into contact with a child:
- Overbearing imposition. If the older person refuses to give the child privacy and imposes themselves physically in the child's space. If they demand control over the child.
- Bullying. Picking on or ostracizing a child.
- Playing favorites. Choosing one favorite or "pet" child and treating them better than the others. Flattering, praising, complimenting, being overly attentive to, and rewarding one child.
- Insisting on contact. If the older person goes out of their way to offer to babysit or take the child on overnight trips. If they
- Insisting on physical contact. If the older person insists on physical "affection" (a kiss, a hug, a "playful" wrestle, etc.).
- Demanding time. If an older person arranges for uninterrupted time alone with a child.
- Gifts. If they give a child gifts for no apparent reason.
- Disregard of privacy. If they talk about the child's body, if they interrupt a child who's in the bathroom or dressing, or if they embarrass or lack regard for the child's privacy.
- Preoccupation with anatomy. If the older person shows interest in the child's sexual development and growth. If they fixate upon or repeatedly bring up the subject of the child's appearance or development.
- Secrets. If the older person tries to get the child to keep something secret from the parents.
- Oversharing. An older person who shares inappropriate personal information and mature confidences with a child.
- Playing the "good guy." If they try to convince the child that they are the only one who really cares. If they try to isolate and cut the child off from their family and friends by disrespecting and undercutting those relationships.
Talking to Your Child About Sexual Abuse
These are a few things that I have experienced and have seen happen with children that have been abused.
- If you feel your child is being violated, don't be afraid to ask them, but do it in a safe and private setting.
- Reassure your child that it's okay to tell you, that you won't get upset, and that it's not their fault.
- Also reassure them that if someone threatened violence, to them or anyone else, that they don't have to worry. If that's one thing a violator does— they scare the abused child by saying that if they tell, they'll endanger themselves or a family member.
- If your child says it's a family member, don't doubt them by thinking no, that couldn't be, because I'm sorry to tell you, YES, it can be, and there's a good chance it is true. Some family members take advantage of that proximity. Sibling sexual abuse and sibling incest happens.
- The National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. Professional crisis counselors are there 24/7 to provide assistance in over 170 languages. All calls are confidential.
Read More From Wehavekids
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2009 GlstngRosePetals
Donna on August 24, 2020:
Long story short My neice 7 years old told me her "Dad" who is really her step dad but she is too young to understand hides under her bed in middle of night with door closed tv off lights off . he also scares her. He is mentally and emotionally abusive to her . she screams and crys hystarically when its time to go home she wont eat she is constantly angry eaying she hates everybody wnd everuthing i need help
Situation on August 18, 2020:
7 my little sister and kids red kiss kuler
Rtyi and lkio
You can 1
Divine Perez on August 10, 2020:
I have a question
My son is 3 Nd he kept putting his fingers in his butt every time i would ask him why he is doing that he would shrug his shoulders and say idk and recently I asked him again and he said his step dad is touching poking his butt and his privates And I ask him and his saying more people are touching him. I don’t know what to do or what to believe.... I have asked my fiancé and he got really upset asking why I would ask him that question or why I would even think he would do that after 4 years and he is an amazing dad and my Son love to go with him and lives being around him
avp0713 on March 31, 2020:
Also watch out for holes cut into the backs of your kids underwear... I have a distant memory of when I was about 9 years old (maybe younger) and waking up and finding that my uncle, who was visiting us, and who was only 2 years older than I am, had cut a hole in my undies and was perhaps trying to penetrate my butt with his fingers. I am not scarred or hurt or somehow bothered about this NOW that i'm 60 years old. I am very good friends with my uncle, but I do remember. Just putting this out there so parents will watch for this.
Sharon on March 21, 2020:
I am worried about my brother-in-law and his 2yo daughter. He is very loving with her and she loves him. But I notice when he changes her diaper, after he cleans her up he will kiss her bare vulva before putting the new diaper on. He holds her legs apart and kisses her right on her vulva, and she giggles like it tickles her. Then he puts her diaper on and finishes dressing her. If he doesn't kiss her vulva, she will spread her legs apart and ask him to. Is this normal affection or abuse? She seems to like it but it still seems bad to me.
Paul walks on February 02, 2020:
Ok have a question, I'm adult age n stay with Mom for a sec ..until fix myself correctly ..anyways first time I did flash mom I act asleep ...ok that first day I did it flash actin I didn't new
Vickiepitner on January 20, 2020:
A 6yr old girl told me her dad touched her naked butt and was happy laugh like. It was a video cgat and her dad said oh really but was it on accident or on purpose. She answered accudent then she said sge had a bump on her butt. He said really no ine wants to hear that. When i asked him how it happened he told me get a life and blicked me. I was in a relationship w him for 5 yr and i have a 3 yr old girl i worry for. What should i think?
Gregory DAgostino Jr on July 16, 2019:
My father Gregory DAgostino Sr born 12/07/1955 used to touch me my private areas abuse me are used to have to touch his thing and hear the touch mine and I was scared because if I didn’t do my mother would be the shit out of me they were both fucking really sick and now I’m thinking why didn’t they do anything about it then and now I just live my life in fear every day and all he’s doing is hurting me now and now I’m old enough to say something but I don’t know what to do he molested me he always knew you gonna shower shower with him and make us touch each other‘s things and I wonder what did he ever do to my sister but him and my sister have a weird relationship I don’t know what’s going on I think my sister just keeps her mouth shut because my father like Buys your cars and houses and all kinds of stuff but I know she’s in pain I know my mother used to beat the shit out of her all the time but I was abused as a child my entire life and I just it just makes me in fear now and I’m so much older now
mia mare on July 15, 2019:
THX this helps me alot about keeping my babies safe
TOO MANY REGRETS on June 20, 2019:
Kk follow your instinct as a mother. It doesn't matter if you/anyone thinks you're crazy because it is better to be looked at as crazy then have someone hurt your little one. Everyone else, if you suspect it report it immediately or the police will blame you and charge you for neglect for not doing anything. I am in a situation where I had to choose do I admit to my child showing signs and me suspecting something, but not reporting it because I feared to look crazy to my son father's family and being charged with neglect for not reporting it right away, which can lead to them seeing me unfit and taking my children or do I just let him get away with it. I told my daughters therapist the truth and the therapist reported me for neglect when reporting the abuse. Every day I think back to all the times when my children attempted to let me know through signs but I did not want to "jump to conclusions" and give that sick perverted mofo the "benefit of a doubt". Now he is off with a new girlfriend and new life while he goes unpunished for what he did to my children! If you have any doubt, follow your intuition or you will end up in endless torment like me. I can never sleep at night because of the guilt and gained 50lbs. Now I have to sit in the room and watch my 6-year-old whenever she plays with her brother to make sure that she does not ask my 4-year-old to touch her. Now I have to watch my once innocent 4 year- old try to sneak off to stick toys up his butt because he said daddy said it was good to do. I keep him from my son and daughter but I can not erase the memories of the pain he has caused them. There is no justice. Your child would have to get raped for them to do something, which is sad. There has to be evidence like the detective said. I tried telling the child abuse center/ Unit things multiple times and they refused to believe me because my son's father told them that I had the same suspicions about my daughter's father and that I am crazy. So what if I did have the same suspicions about her father. Sometimes people can be so stupid like there aren't millions of predators in the world. They act like there is no possibility of a guy targeting a single mother with a little girl and using something she told him in trust as a weapon to get him out of what he did! REPORT EVERYTHING as soon as it happens. If his/her private area looks weird; report it. If they are acting like they don't want to be left alone with that person even if they are a baby; do not leave them alone. Now after beating myself up about seeing the signs and doing nothing. I only live a function for my children, but I now hate part of myself for doing nothing. Could you imagine how vulnerable someone little like that must feel in a situation like that? Use me as an example of what not to do.
Rachel on April 19, 2019:
I think this article gives the wrong advise and should be edited or elaberated for those who are seeking advise and have never dealt with or been in such a situation. Advising to contact police if your child tells you they have been abused sexually is the exactly what I did and I absolutley regret doing. After two months of extreme behavioral changes, my child told me her dad was "spanking" her privates in his bed. I reported the abuse to the local police department and my child was sent to a Dr who was a specialist in examining sexually abused children. The dr told me there was no evidence of my child being abused, but that didnt mean it wasnt happening. That 90% of children who are being abused, do not have physical symptoms or evidence of being abused because they are being groomed by the perpetrators and perpetrators dont want to get caught so they dont leave evidence. When going to court with no evidence to back up my allegations, the judge was mad. He threatned me that if he heard me ever mention another word of abuse, my custody and my child would be taken away from me. Two years later my child thank goodness, seems to be doing better not displaying any noticable signs of the abuse still happening, nor has she told me anything about it happening. However, I still believe whole heartedly the abuse took place. If not her father, someone had abused my child. I had never been in this situation before, I was scared and didnt know what to do or where to turn. So after I read a few articles online such as this one, I followed the advice to go report the abuse to police. I wish I was given better advice or that the articles were a more thourough and had explained in better detail how the process works when it comes to the laws and evidence. Such as, a young childs word does not hold up in a court of law period. (Atleast not in California ). Which I did already know that the legal system needs evidence to be able to interviene, but I had never gone through this and at the time didnt know there was not going to be any evidence and by the time I learned there was no evidence, I had already made the report and had a court date to go to in the near future. So my advice from my personal experience (living nightmare). DO NOT REPORT TO ALLIGATIONS TO POLICE unless theres physical evidence of the abuse!!
Kk on April 19, 2019:
My little girl is 8 monyhs old she still doesnt care for dady n looks at me like please dont leave ahes stated crying when i change her he stuff dont look like am i cc'd raxy but dont u think its all signs i should chexk out especially when he (accidentally puts his mb hand on her booba shes just mot comfortable n she loves everyone
Joy on April 15, 2019:
I need help, am suspecting my husband that he is touching my 2yrs and 4months daughters private part. Am really suspecting him. Plz ,can I find out thru check up?
Erica on March 18, 2019:
my seven year old boy told me his father would flip him over pinch his butt bite his penis and said to him if he told someone he was going to kill him or his mom. Cps ruled it out so did the police and the judge. now I have to allowed my son see his abuser . What can I do.
Jesse on September 24, 2018:
My wife sister son he 8 is missing with my 5 year on son I've caught him putting his weiner in front of my son and I told him it was wrong and told his mom an iv put cameras in my house an im wondering what should I do he keeps missing with my son he came home i saw his lip an I asked if he touch him an he says no an I tell him not to lie an the he would tell me that he told him if he's his friend he touch his weiner iv told him that's wrong an y an told his mom but she not doing nothing about it I haven't got him on camera yet to show his mom proof what can I do should I call the cop an report it I'm not sure what to do
Mindy on August 30, 2018:
My son has downs and doesnt talk he is 15 his female techer was told by me never to change his clothes that he can do it himself and she doesnt need to be looking down there yesterday i got a note from the teacher saying that she put powder on his tesicles she didnt take him to the nurse and she just did it her self now she is saying she never did it becuse i called dcf on her but i have the note from her addmitting to it.when i show her picture to him he gets upset any one elses picture is fine this is the only way he can communicate and i have no idea what to do about this
A scared cousin on August 19, 2018:
Hey you guys I hate that I’m even here but you know this world is crazy and filled with people were these sites can even exist . Sad right ! Wish this world could just be better but it want never be . The reason I’m here I was looking online about all the child abuse . My cousin that is 19years old has been touched by her moms boyfriend which is 23 years old . Her mom didn’t believe her . And she just kinda left the thought alone . But I didn’t I always think what if he’s doing it to her still and she can’t cry to nobody because she did go out to help but it didn’t work he’s still in the house and he’s still their . My aunt had a 4 years and a 3 year old with this kid also ! And everybody in the family was just worried because their females . Hers went by and the 4 year old was in day care and told the teacher that her dad puts crayons in her panties and they called the cps and he went to jail n that’s it , he went for like a week and nothing else book back to normal . So I went to the house to visit . With my son which is 3 my boyfriend n my mom .we walk in and the step dad is on the game like a child smoking weed im like ok really ! That was strike 1 just from walking in . Then as the grown ups were talking and as I thought the kids were playing Ik the room , my son comes in the living room crying and holding me with only his shirt on , no shorts no diaper . My son can’t even take his shorten off or his diaper without help ! I was furious thinking my cousins were getting touched by their dad and I knew something was going on . My son was so upset he was saying no mama no mama every time I asked him what happened! He’s so young and I didn’t want him thinking about what just happened if it did! I went to the 4 year old which is as smart as a book she’s can speak so good but when I went back their I said what happend she said my son kept hitting her sister on her back what kind of place was the sister in to hit him on his back ? Do they do intercourse with their dad ? All that kept coming to my head ! And I said what happened to his shorts and my aunt hurried back their and cut them off n said girl your son needs to stop hunching ? I automatically flashed n said u gone turn this on him he nevertheless in his life came to me with his diaper n shorts off I have to help him when I try to put him on the toliet put him in the bath and change his clothes . So now all of a sudden he can take them off when he is here ?? No ma’am . Your daughters that are learning shit like this from an older person isn’t learning how to do it to other kids and it isn’t not cool ! She want do nothing but protect this man kid ! I want stand by and watch my cousins keep getting abused .he gotta away with it with my older cousin and she isn’t away n Georgia n doesn’t want to come back n her mom wonders why ?? N just last night my cousin called me over their which isn’t a boy n he is 11 saying the step dad hit him so he hadn’t to stay with us ! It’s touching n hitting going on in that house n needs to be stopped I need help PLEASE
Dan on August 16, 2018:
Nannie, it is not normal. Get help and you and your husband should be the only adults around him.
Nannie on July 08, 2018:
Hello . I have had custody of my grandson since he was 15 months old . He is now 4. Recently we finally went threw the potty training. He was a late kid at that . He plays soccer and I’m always with him . He visits his dad and mom bi weekly and they love him but cannot afford to keep him . They have a newborn . But recently he has been rubbing up to me making me feel uncomfortable. He loves me and I love him wit all my heart. I just read an article that has really upset me . He has been licking on me and pappie . My husband . And has been so angry. He stuck his fifer up his butt . But was fascinated with were his poo poo went thru the pipes when he was training him . His favorite word is stupid and he try’s to touch my breast and even tried to touch my private parts threw my clothing . Do you guys think it normal and he is just exploring. He is never around anyone but his pappie and me mom and dad . This is my worst nightmare since I came from a family that did this to me and my sister . Our dad . Can anyone give advice. He starts preschool this September and I’m gonna have the private part talk I read to him . Am I just freaking out over nothing or is this behavior normal ?
Annie on June 18, 2018:
Shame on you, who cares if words are Miss spelled. The person is suffering . Have compassion .
Ashlynn on June 15, 2018:
My 5 or 6 year old cousin hasn’t been around me much she came around for my graduation and couldn’t stop touching her pp I later on found out that she had a yeast infection which everyone was saying could be common if they take a bubble bath accidentally saying to my mom well walking into I food place that she shouldn’t let her daughter get this bad she overheard me as we sat down to eat my aunt whispers under her breath that it was from her bubble bath since my cousin who’s a girl has a twin brother who is male I was faceing him while my aunt said this as my male cousin nodded his head no while his mother was whispering from the bubble bath as soon as she sees my boy cousin nod his head no she immediately corrects him telling him what are you doing get over here well he had been acting out the whole time before but everytime failed to correct him untell then I call 911 and they send me to another source who called me back a few times asking my about myself only to tell me that I was a chronical lier and that if I were to report this again or anything like this they were filing charges for incorrect accusations although I never directly asked my cousin the signs were strong and didn’t feel the need to I didn’t know simply asking athourtys to check in on somthing would suddenly turn me into a chronic lier? I’m not quite sure what wrong with our system but this a profound women who lacks even cleaning her kids or taking them to the doctor not to mention has almost had her kids taken multiple time and almost had one of the twins aka our little girl almost pass away from failing to act on how sick she truly was with E. coli E. coli I’m tired of this fucking system cops are fucking pigs
Ivette on June 07, 2018:
As a mom of children who were sexually abused, my advice is first of all: put a restrainig order against the abuser protecting you and the children. This will invalidate any legal tricks the abuser can come up with when you decide to come foward with the accusations. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a restraining order.
In my case, the abuser got custody of my abused children because of my ignorance in legal matters. Please don't make the same mistake.
Grrr on May 31, 2018:
Ready your quick story is what we are dealing with. DCF is a flipping joke. We have gaurdianship of our grandson have for almost 8 months and 0 contact from the mother since January (court ordered not to) about a month ago a little more he said that his mommy and the boyfriend were touching his peepee, when asked he made a jerking off motion and then rubbing motion and continuus to have complete anxiety about taking a bath. Ok so we went to dcf about this aligation and the woman could not get it out of him what happened, so she had us go out back and talk with them, she asked him "how were they touching you?" So again he "showed" what happened and this woman did NOT even pay attention to what he was doing. Well they had us go there and visit our home once and then was just told recently they colsed the case back in April???? Wait what? Closed? No letter, no email, no phone call, no text and no more visits....um ok? I was also told that someone would return my call but that said supervisor was in a meeting...my grandson sees 2 therapist twice a week and I just mentioned to them we need to start working on the sexual abuse part, and was told they were not qualified to but would help us find one that is (thank goodness) this poor boy not only physical abuse but sexual abuse as well ...gahhhh am.so angry at the system . I could scream, and extremely angry at his mother and her boyfriend for all this abuse, yes the mother was in on the sexual abuse as well.
Eddie Brookshire on May 25, 2018:
Is it inappropriate for a nine-year-old boy to be sleeping with his 24-year-old aunt alone in a house 2 to 3 times a week
Hailey on May 15, 2018:
What do I do if my grandfather and mother are hitting me shoving me and my grandfather alsomost broke my fingers by bending them backwards and wouldn’t stop?
Anonymous on May 06, 2018:
@santos. Maybe a lawyer can help and put that jerk away. In the mean time maybe find other means of babysitting since your mom is choosing not to believe it or do anything about it. This happened to me as a child by my own grandfather and my grandmother allowed it. You as the parent have to do whatever is necessary to protect him
Santos on April 25, 2018:
My 5 and a half year old told me that someone touched his pee pee. Not trying to go into the full story since it’s a lot to write. So I’ll try to be quick. He told me to massage his “middle leg”. He then tells me days after that the guy that touched him also grabbed his but and squeezed it. Days after that he also tells me that the guy told him “a word is a word and you can’t tell anyone”. He NEVER talked like this. I’ve notivef he’s been scared on taking baths, he does talk about monsters, he cries when I have to let him go to his mothers(her cousin is the one that did it)and refuses to go. He also was super attached to me even more when he told me about the situation. I unfortunately have been going crazy because DCF and the detectives aren’t doing much. He admitted it to the DCF and pointed out the guy in a picture.He had a specialist interview him but he never told them anything. I asked him why he tells me because I don’t know them daddy, they are strangers. He also tells me that his mother told him that it never happened and it was all a Dream. I’m lost here and I’m alone on this Besides having my parents, I don’t have anyone else. The detectives are not arresting the guy and dcf is just sitting on their ass. I don’t know what else to do or who to reach? Can anyone PLEASE HELP ME???
Hope on April 23, 2018:
I don’t know what’s going on with my son but I’m very concerned. A few days ago I got called into the vice principals office because some other boy accused my son of touching his private. When I got home I spoke to him about inappropriate touching. Few weeks later I’m going through his notebook and I see he wrote the words sex, butt and gay. I asked him about it and he said said he doesn’t know what the word gay mean and he said that sex means when people lay on top of each other. I don’t what to think of my son at this point please someone help.
Brian Kelley on April 15, 2018:
My therapy for me being away from my wife and kids hurts may I get help
Marry on April 03, 2018:
my child is being molested, she falls under all of these. I need to find out who has been doing it
Deanna Dorrough on April 03, 2018:
see I my kids are cool
Sarah on March 24, 2018:
To No Name. Honey if you were my daughter, i would want to know if your dad was touching you. You arent doing anything wrong, its your dad. He shouldnt be touching you like that. She would be happier if she knew that nothing is happening to you. I hope you tell her or someone else you trust. If not her do you have grandparents or maybe an aunt or a teacher?
Leroy on March 18, 2018:
3 year old daughter had an accident playing with the other children in the play area at mikes kitchen she wet herself my girlfriend took her to the rest room that's when she asked my girlfriend make it better please the words that came from her mouth is killing me it's eating on me can someone please advise what i should do.
Annoymous on March 17, 2018:
Dear no name please tell someone maybe your grandparents or a teacher or an aunt. It’s not ok for your Dad to touch you and say it’s the last time. It’s not your fault and he needs to get help for something he is dealing with
No name on March 01, 2018:
I am 13 years old and my dad Has touched me since I was in grade 4 he always says this is the last time but it never is. I want to tell my mom but I don’t want to hurt her and brake her heart.
Concerned on February 23, 2018:
^ months ago my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter after a long week with just her daddy started doing very sexual things, all the sudden she was afraid of monsters and her bottom was looking purple. I tried to talk to my daughter, but she has an anger problem and the relationship with the babies daddy is very toxic (drugs, LSD, Speed) I went to DHS in the area and they said we don't talk to children under three. This was after the Sherrie had already spoke to my granddaughter and I was directed to do an emergency stay order and DHS told me too.
Then it all bow up! My daughter freaked out when we tried to talk to her and she doesn't want to believe it, even with the he signs all present and she swung at me in front of the DHS worker. The baby daddy is hiding in the house and all he's afraid about is going to jail. Not who might be touching our baby? The DHS wrote it off to I didn't like the Daddy.
Well, it's 6 months later and now she's 3 years old. I had her for one night and she was trying to play with my beasts and calling them Cheechees and rumbling her own. I told her we don't play that and who is doing it. She said it Daddy. I started to dress her after her bat and she told me her bottom hurt really bad. I asked why and looked at it. It was purple and red, so I asked if she had a hard poop and she said no, Daddy hurt it. She told me he puts on a scary mask and scares her and hurts her. She said he blows smoke at her and the are pot smokers.
because of how the DHS handled it last time and she didn't want to tell me what was going on. Because she didn't want me to go away again,,,, I told her I will try and find the right help this time and It's going to be okay, but meanwhile he can do whatever he wants with her. The drugs are bad and the pot use is chronic. They live with her daddy's mother (Other Grandmother) and she supports all the drugs...... Don't know what to do and I'm praying for help for my granddaughter that isn't gonna traumatized her by her not seeing us again....
She came home to us and she has known nothing but us in her life as stable....... Believing for help!!!
Prudy on February 05, 2018:
I seen a young boy about 10 go in my neighbor house I'm very concerned please help me I don't want to call the police because I'm not sure
Mish on February 01, 2018:
My sister is 7 years older than me. Growing up she's often warned me about walking around the house with minimal clothing and wearing loose, see through tops etc When it was time to shower she'd tell me to make sure i stand in a certain spot in the bathroom so when i come out of the shower no one outside can see me from the window. I'd ask her why, that theres no reason to and she'd say because dad is a man. I thought she was crazy, i always said that no way would he do anything, its so not his character to do anything improper. I even remember every time id watch a scary movie id wanna sleep in the same bed as dad. And she'd say DONT!!!!!! why would you sleep next to dad? I said why not?? and shes like he's a man afterall...
Anyways she's never said anything happened between her and dad and dad was always a very respectable person in many peoples eyes so i never even considered that it could be true. When i was 18-19 my sister found out he was cheating on my mum. And i guess that tipped her off the edge and she revealed everything to me that night. I believed her straight away and it was a very scary night. My dad knew we were talking about him, and he'd pretend to go for a smoke and stand outside our room window and he'd try to come into the room and ask what we were talking about. Ill never forget how guilty his face looked that night.
She told me it started when she hit puberty at around 13. He did it till she was about 22. It was more frequent during her high school years. He'd wake her up in the middle of the night and ask her to sit on his lap. And he'd ask her questions about what her and her boyfriend in school do together sexually. He'd tell her that mum didnt give him affection and she treats him poorly, which is true, but he used it to guilt trip her. When we'd shower he used to go out for a smoke every time he heard the shower turn on. and the weird part is he did often go out exactly when we stepped into the shower, and came back in after we came out of the bathroom. And that's why she showed me where to stand in the bathroom so no one (dad) would see us naked from the window.
The most pain was endured by my sister. He killed the person she would've been. And now the struggle on my side is that my dad growing up was my hero, i admired him and loved him so much. He never did any of that to me and to me he was a good dad. But my sister was my best friend, and he did terrible things to her. I feel torn in understanding who my dad was. Like his identity is split into 2 people. The respectable loving dad i've known him to be, and then the dad that he was to my sister who's power hungry, dark, scary and touches children like his daughter. Two extremely different people. I feel sick every time i think about it, i can recall times when they'd be very whispery in her bedroom together and there has been times where id wake up in the night and see them chatting very secretively. I always assumed they were just having an adult conversation. It has damaged me even though it didnt happen to me. It happened right next to me, to my best friend. I feel like my amazing childhood was a lie, i feel bad for my mum that she has to live obliviously next to this man who did this to her daughter. How do i move on?
Natasha on January 19, 2018:
I really don't know what to do i need help and if anyone as a number no could call I'd be very grateful when my daughter was five another five year old had put her hands down my daughter's pance and the girl told my daughter to do it back anyway I walked in to the room where this was happening fyooming is not the word I could of list it but I asked the girl very calmly where did you see this she replayed with my dad and his girlfriend do it they have also had sex why I have been in the same bed so I was mortified buy this point I felt sick to my stomach I removed my daughter and she never seen the girl again now my daughter is 7 years old there was an incident to night where there was my daughter and her friend and her friends sister all playing in one of the girls bedrooms my daughter was stopping to play and in was going home as I only live around the corner so I went upstairs to tell my daughter to make shore she dose as she's told and don't for get her manners its something I always say before I leave her at anyone's house anyway I walked up the stirs to find the bedroom door shut so I opened to find to 7 year olds and a 5 year old playing the same sex so I said what do you mean your playing sex and Imedatley sent them down the stirs to where my friend was we asked what the he'll was going on they said the 5 year old was on the bottom the to girls was on top of her moving up and down and they had all been kissing one anther I'm so discussed It's unreal I just don't know what to do about it why do kids know about this at such a young age is bloody discussing I'm worried that if there's a next time something like this could happen I'm just worried about how far things might go and I need to nip it in the bud now
Lilly on January 10, 2018:
About 5 months ago my boyfriend told me that he sees figures. He said sometimes he sees shapes and blobs but when it gets bad he sees a figure that looks like a man but has no face. He explained that he can hear footsteps that aren’t actually there. He told me that he used to cut himself everyday and heard voices telling him to kill/hurt himself. He said he would sneak his parents alcohol to get through days sometimes he’d sneak their cigarettes. At the time I had no clue how to process the information I’m just a 17 year old girl. He told me not to tell anyone because he was embarrassed and that no one would believe him. I felt terrible. Then after a few months he told me that he was sexually abused as a kid. His dad is in the military so him and his parents moved around a lot. His mom used to babysit a kid who was 2 years older than him and he would abuse him. He told me that the boy would force him to touch him or look at his gentials or he would touch him and want to look at him. After hearing this I was about to call his mother but then he sent me pictures of him holding a gun to his head and would send pictures of knifes. He said if I told anyone he’d kill himself. As weeks past he started getting physical with me. He made me delete all social media, I’m not allowed any friends, I can’t leave without telling him everything I’m doing. When I upset him he pulls my hair, spits on me, squeezes my hand really hard, forcing me to look at him. It’s getting to the point where I want to leave but I can’t manage to do it because I care and love him so much. I just want him to get help. Recently he told me he was bisexual and fantasizes about giving a guy a blowjob. This was very shocking to hear because he would always tell me he hates gay people and lesbians. He said my sister was disgusting because she’s a lesbian. I just want him to get help and I don’t know what to do.
Birdy on January 03, 2018:
i have been molested by three men when i was little. took me years to talk about it. but still kept quiet about the third person. i did see a psychologist and she did say i will have very bad scars. over the years since i saw her i never understood what she meant, but now i do. ive been single for almost 10 years, because it is difficult for me to get romantically involved with men. especially white men, i have a male friend who is muslim. known him almost 8 years, but i have found comfort and love and acceptance with him. is this because the men who molested me, was white men, and see the resemblance with all white men? why is it now different with him who is a muslim and i am white? why cant i fall in love or find the safe space every women wants or seeking for in white men?
The Aunt on December 24, 2017:
My brother received a letter from his adult daughter (she's 31) accusing him of sexually molesting her when she was a child. My brother was stunned!! She is a recovering alcoholic and is attending AA meetings every day. She is refusing to allow "grandpa" to visit or even communicate with his 2 grandsons and great grandchildren until he writes a letter acknowledging detailing his "mis-deeds" and asking for her forgiveness. I am certain my brother was never involved in such activities with his daughter but she might have been sexually molested by another male or even female person and is projecting on him because he is a safe target. Oddly enough, when I was 30, (I'm 70 now) I wrote a letter to my father explaining how I remember him doing "funny" things to me when I was 2 or 3 years old. Later, I discovered that my older sister mentioned to this same brother that she felt she was sexually molested by our father. I remember being taken to a neighbor's house and even recalled some of the furnishings that were upstairs in the bedroom. I mentioned this to our mother (much later) and she confirmed that our father used to take my older sister and I over to a neighbor's house quite often and she even confirmed the furniture that was in the room as I had remembered it. I've pretty much gotten over all this stuff and I am only left wondering whether what happened to me was real or imagined. The only things that matter is what the child is feeling as a result of being molested (real or imagined) and what can be done to fix the enormous damage the child or adult lives with afterward. The mind is an odd thing and so are many of the humans on this planet. We have to feel our way around sometimes without really knowing how to handle certain situations. I know patience helps, as well as, trying to find out the real facts.
Ami on December 13, 2017:
To Arkygirl, Amanda, and anyone else saying it: there IS a world spelt 'spelt'. It's British, and their past tense word for spell. Please remember that Americanised spellings aren't used worldwide.
A brief Google search would've shown you that, had any of you actually bothered to do so.
But that is somewhat irrevelant. If you're looking for help, advice, someone to talk to, etc., your spelling is probably not very high on the list. As long as people can understand what you're trying to say.
Rose on December 12, 2017:
I notice my sister son touch my daughter and I want to tell his therapist but Im scared they take my sis son away from her could that happen. I mean I want to protect my daughter n I am but I want to find the right way.
Concerned on December 08, 2017:
I saw a man in the sauna shower with his 12 13 yr daughter the main door was open I saw them nude and guy had a hard on..
Once before he his wife and daughter came into men's sauna.. I has small to well nothing else. They all 3 took off there swim suits. I said go to woman's. . They just smiled.
I wanted to go and shower... the man said us first pls. His wife and him. He left me in the sauna with the girl. She spread he legs and smiled... I got up and ran out. I'm worried the r may be abuse. I want to call cops... but what if im over reacting?
yakira on December 08, 2017:
at the age of 5 I was sexually abused by a woman every night. I never spoke a word to anyone for the simple fact who would believe a five year old. I tried to just push that into the back of my mind and just bury it. Now at the age of 23 I have 2 daughters 5 and 2. My five year old came to me one day and told me that her aunt has been molesting her. I called the police and everything. they took my daughter to the hospital and said they couldn't find any dna and that due to her being in the shower their was no way of telling. My family is believing my sister and I am believing my daughter. No five year old is just gonna break down crying and begging for her aunt not to come over. No five year old is just going to Say Mommy my aunty makes me play mommy and daddy. she makes me lick her pom pom (vagina) and she takes her hands and puts it in me. it hurts mommy and I don't want her to come to our house. No five year old is going to say that. I have cut all ties off with my sister and I'm cutting ties off with my family as well because ill be damn for them to tell my daughter shes lying and for her to grow up thinking that when bad things happen no one will believe her and protect her. One day the truth will come out and when it does they will owe my baby an apology.
Arkygirl on December 05, 2017:
To Alexis regardingbyour English grammar lesson. Well you need a lesson in spelling...there is no word spelled “spelt” but there is a word spelled “spelled.”
Concerned Mommy on December 03, 2017:
I recently discovered that 1 of the 3 foster children that live at the babysitters house has been engaging in sexual acts with my 7 year old daughter. 2 of the 3 children age ( 6 & 8) we’re overheard talking about the 17 year old foster child kissing my 7 year old. When it was brought to my attention I immediately asked my daughter when she got off school. Her first response was Heck No Mommy no one kissed me. Then I reassured her she was not going to be in trouble that it was okay to tell the truth because I knew the truth. Then she began to brake down and cry. She proceeded to tell me the 17 year old has been making her hide from the others and he has been kissing her like the movies. Then she tells me mom I don’t like when he puts his tongue in my mouth. He also grabs me like this ( humping motion) but he does it slowly. By this point I’m sick to my stomach by this. I’m remaining calm. I ask her how many times has this happened and she says I don’t know mama too many to count. Then I ask her why she hasn’t ever told me about this. She says that she was scared to get in trouble and she was scared of him. He told her she better not tell anyone or he would hurt her! I brought her to the police and let her tell the entire story instead of me talking. So I have to wait from here and see what they are going to do. It’s been several days since this has happened I have no clue if he has been arrested or not. Impatiently waiting. Tomorrow I have to bring her to a child advocacy center to let them talk to her .
Jones on December 03, 2017:
My daughter recently started to touch herself at night time the other night I woke up she took all her clothes off besides her pull up. I need advice please. She goes over her dad with other kids and sleeps in the room with them. I ask where did you learn this from she said one of the kids name and laughed. Help me
lc.t on November 29, 2017:
i got a lot of my questions answered.
Cee on November 29, 2017:
I have a step son (age 10) that is showing serious signs of being gay. I'm fine with it but of course its hard on his dad to want to believe it. The problem I'm having now is that his son is starting to touch his other two younger brothers inappropriately. One of the brothers is my son that me and the father have together. I just start opening up to his father about his behavior but all he does is ignore it and says it won't never happen again. We just had another episode yesterday where the youngest one came to me and said that his brother (the gay one) "told me that he is going to put his D**k in his butt". Once again I told the father immediately after it happened and he stills shows signs of blowing it off. I'm tired of this crap! I'm not mad that the son may be gay, I'm upset because the father hasn't address good touch and bad touch with the boys. He needs to set boundaries with all of them. It's even more harder because I'm only the step parent and its nothing I can do. I'm just scared to leave them home alone with each other. I know he knows what he's doing and he lies about it because he's scared to get in trouble. I should not allow a step child to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. The father has to feel some type of way about this?! What should I do? or what can I do to get over this?
Amanda on November 28, 2017:
Abuse of any kind is devastating & life changing. It brings new problems of mental illness, promiscuity and suicide. People are hurting and are using this forum to cope and try to heal from their ordeal while you ignorantly attempt to correct their grammar. Really?!
Your life must be pretty sad and lacking to attack people who are in pain.
By the way it is "spelled" and not "spelt"
Catina Quinones on November 21, 2017:
Unfortunately my daughter who is now 4 years of age, has been molested by her father for 2 years. I was fighting for about 1 1/2 for her. She had all the classic signs. Finally I was heard and my daughter finally spoke to ACS at the age of 3 1/2. My daughter has not seen him since 8/ 2016. It's been 15 months now with no contact. Because she was molested for 2 years straight, I have a hard time with her but with the grace of God I'm doing for her. She attends heart share and safe horizon for therapy. Unfortunatelt, her father was recently granted supervised visits by family court 2 times a month. My daughter says she don't want to go to see him because he's bad and touches her and hits her. The law in NY states a parent has the right to see the child they raped or molested if they didn't see them in a year. Who is protecting our children when parents fight for there children and the law goes against the parent who is not the offender. Why does the law protect parents who molested or rap?????
Lori belote on November 20, 2017:
Will threats of violence with probable groping and grooming meet the requirements for restraining order?
Joey on November 17, 2017:
My daughter was molested by her father and although he doesn't want to admit it. all the signs were there all the time - I just wasn't AT THE TIME aware of the signs. I would say to parents BE INFORMED more so about the signs in your children's behavior as victims in order to know the signs and help them to escape at a early age. Needless to say - although my child was unknowingly a victim under my own room it hit me hard - I don't think any man can humiliate a women more than to fool around with their own daughter while you work your ass of all day long in the house, at school, in the garden and in bed to keep him satisfied. BANG - he played and wreck two souls and a family apart and now blame ME for the breakup JUST because he do not want to acknowledge his guilt, repent and get forgiveness.
Alice on November 10, 2017:
I'm confused.. when i was a toddler, my parents often had sex behind my back literally behind me while my mom would lull me to sleep by scratching my back. I heard them doing it but i didn't know what they were doing before. And there was this time i was drawing on the sofa and my mom sat on the other side of the sofa, naked waist down asking me how good i was at drawing. Then she asked me draw her crotch, then she spread her legs. I stupidly drew it. That was so messed up. I became distant to my family after i learned that what they did was disgusting. Was this still considered as sexual harrassment?
E. B. White on November 06, 2017:
"There's still libraries" says the person complaining about the grammar in this article.
Catherine on November 05, 2017:
I have a 10 yo grandson who plays with himself and now has exposed himself to me. He came out of the bathroom and says "hey grandma, look," pulled his pants down and moved his penis back and forth. I put him in time-out and he mumbled to himself repeatedly "no one wants to see your ugly thing," or "you know you should not do that," and "you know mama will ground you." I am concerned, but my daughter does not seem concerned by this. She tells me she has seen no signs of this at home and I am the only one he does this for. I don't think she believed me until I made her son tell her why he was in time-out. I am at a loss of what to do.
Rob on November 03, 2017:
I hav a grandma who is breaking into my room and touching my genetals in my sleep I’ve woken up to my groin smelling of dry silava and I have whittness
Geneva foreman: on November 03, 2017:
My daughter was told to never to tell me
It’s her.stepfather has done it’some of her friends also. Will he ever change?
selena on November 01, 2017:
what do i do if i found images of 6 year old girls and younger and father raping daughter videos on my ex husbands computer we have a 13 year old son
Autumn M on October 25, 2017:
Thank you for commenting. I was sexually abused as a toddler and the effects are the same as yours. I'm 17 now and I feel enraged and terrified every day of my life. I feel like a scared bunny that's about to get it's intestines squeezed out by a giant hawk. The only time I don't feel like that is when I become the monster. I do this by killing small animals or setting fire to abandoned structures. The fire setting is especially soothing. Watching the flames dance seems to somehow pull all of the pain out of my body. I feel calmer and more in control afterwards. The effects of my abuse have ruined every aspect of my life. The smell of sex and certain alcohols terrify me. So sometimes i literally have to run out of a bathroom were a man has jacked off, because I can actually smell it. Once I was drinking my dad's beer and the smell gave me a sudden wave or panic and sickness. I immediately dumped the beer and hid in my room.
I don't have any clear memories like you do, but my body and soul seem to remember it. The terror and pain, and yet strange addiction, I feel around sex is too strong to be my imagination. This and the fact that my birth father was a registered sex offender have me pretty convinced. But I was adopted, so any man in that time could have done it. I have a weird hatred and fear of my adoptive father so I'm suspicious it was him, but I'm not sure because I didn't hate him when I was younger.
I just want you to know you're not alone. Wish we knew each other in real life. We could probably be good friends.
Alexis on October 23, 2017:
I appreciate your words and believe it gives good insight into the subject, however, I feel compelled to educate you on one thing, because if you are going to post anything online, especially for others to take your article as a source of advice, I'm sure you would want them to take you and your knowledge on the matter at hand seriously. Correct?
First of all, it is spelt "wrongful," not with two L's.
Secondly, there are three different individual words that are all pronounced as "there." Nonetheless, they are all spelt differently as they all three have different meanings. Words that are spelt differently, but have the same pronunciation which have different definitions from each other, are known as homophones. An example would be with the words, "knew"and "new," as well as "know" and "no." As you can see, these words sound the same to the ear, but they are not spelt The same nor do they have the same definition or word usage.
THEIR: this word is used to show ownership of more than one single person, thing, etc. Such as multiple persons who may own something or several things. An example sentence: "that is THEIR house." So in your article when you state under sign 3, "your child suddenly takes 'there' clothes off..." that is not correct English grammar.
Technically, even using the proper word "their" to show possession is not correct in this case either. As stated above, "their" is used to show ownership by multiple persons. With your example, you use the word child, therefore, it is a single noun (noun-person, place, or thing) which means you should have said "your child takes his/her clothes...."
In a nutshell, "their" is only used to say multiple (more than one) persons or things own whatever they possess such as a plural noun like "they."
To continue, I will explain the word THEY'RE.
"They're" is considered a contraction. A contraction is when two words are combined by an apostrophe to make one word. You may have seen some examples of words as contractions such as the words DON'T (do+not) and WON'T (will not).
Now for example, when you state in your sixth sign "there very quiet..." that, as well, is an incorrect use of the word THERE. The correct word is, you guessed it, THEY'RE. Nonetheless, it actually still isn't the proper word to use here, but lack of intelligence is just harder to detect this way and more easily accepted. Once again, you used the word child, which is a word used to describe singularity, meaning you are communicating ONE person, so the proper words to use in this type of sentence would be, "...doing stuff to HIM/HER...HE/SHE has a look...."
An example of proper usage of the word THEY'RE would be, "they're going to the store." Because without the contraction of the word they're, it would be, "THEY ARE going to the store." This is the word you should have used also in your sixth example, "there very quiet..." Indeed, it should have been, "THEY'RE very quiet."
Lastly, I will move on to what is evidently your favorite of the "there, they're, and their" homophones, or perhaps the only one you are aware of, the simple word THERE.
The word "there" is typically used as an adverb which means "in or at a place." An example sentence would be, "we are going THERE after dinner." Also you could use it as a pronoun, "There is no hope!" I'm actually surprised you used the word "there" in the wrong places more often than in the correct ones. (For better understanding, looking up the definitions of pronoun and adverb is advisable.)
That concludes my comment. I hope what I have said resonates and you were able to learn a few things about the English language and can better your grammar for later writing. Writing any kind of article for others to read is great and encouraging, especially one such as this. Nevertheless, as a reader, I am not able to take the writer and his/her potential knowledge on the issue seriously when there are grammatical errors, amongst other writing mistakes. If one cannot even express one's intellect without the ability to write properly, how in the world am I going to be able to think one is smart enough to give insight on anything, aside from how not to proof read and/or write an article poorly, that is. In this age, there is just frankly no excuse to not be educated on many subjects, especially the subject of how to write properly. Google is just a click away! Not an option? There's still libraries, if anyone can believe that.
I only listed the most irksome examples I found in this article. There were plenty more, such as run on sentences and lack of punctuation.
I wish you all the best. Good luck with your writing and all its needed corrections!
-A person who may not have a life, but has an incredible need to expose and educate those who butcher the English language.
TR. on October 14, 2017:
It would be interesing to know about your credentials and where some if this information is coming from and whether it is fact or opinion. Some of it sounds like opinion. It doesn't help that your article is full of spelling a grammatical erors.
Ash on October 04, 2017:
All of these signs of child molestation is very important an I talk to my cousins about it sometimes an it helps so thank you ✨
Paul on September 23, 2017:
I've a 3.5yr old daughter. My daughter has apparently said I've inappropriately touched her. Which I haven't. S services r involved. So Was The police. I didn't get prosecuted. So I took my ex to court because she was stopping me from having a relationship with her. I've a court order. My daughter is a proper daddy's girl. My ex hates the fact she is. She's done a fb hate campaign against me. Told all her family and friends and people from my area what I've supposedly done. Now all if a sudden my daughter has mentioned to a soc worker I've done something that I know is not true. I know things r being said in her house and by the nan. I just can't prove it. My ex now wants counselling for our daughter. Yet she shows no signs or acts in anyway that would set off alarm bells. She just randomly says things. Like daddy smacks my mooey. She even goes on about her weight. She 3.5!! I'd do a lie detector but after looking into it they don't actually work. Should I just take her back to court?
Kim on September 22, 2017:
For years now we have suspected that my granddaughter and her sisters have been molested by their dad. Many years of her complaing her privates hurt and i tell her mother that something is "Wrong"seriously WRONG. She REFUSES To believe her daughter . The other night I was drying her off after a bath and she sharply said that hurts!! I asked why and she told me daddy puts his pee pee in my butt and also said timmy(daddys friend) spits in my Pee Pee) my husband heard her and we quickly took her to cps they took all the children away its been almost a month, we were all set up to take custody again and my daughter somehow had the girls put in foster care, So at lost we did nothing wrong and granddaughter did nothing wrong. Her own mom talks with such hatered towards my husband and Our granddaughter who spoke up of her being raped. And my daughter says to me I will never see her again.The granddaughters father molested his sisters and was put in juvenile and he had his records expunged so he has no criminal records. CPS has the girls and are investagating but give us no info I told them about his past of molesting but that is not showing up in records I am so terrified they will give her back so scared. In washington grandparents have no rights. Cps gave us temp custody when she was 4 months her arm was broken and a prior broken collar bone was noted to be found they couldnt figure out who broke it almost a year later they gave her back to my daughter and her boyfriend. God please someone help her what can we do?
Puppy aunt on September 22, 2017:
My niece is being molested she told me her new mother of one month says she knows her secret and is OK with it now I have to monsters in this home and noone believes me how do I help her with no proof
AMBER on September 19, 2017:
Vicky Crum on September 02, 2017:
What if the child is only a 14 month old baby? And all she wants to do is play with herself when your changing her and she's constantly putting her hands in her diaper by her thigh ?
La on September 01, 2017:
My daughter is two. Today she came home and I was taking a shower with her. I noticed her butt area was red and so was her vagina. I checked the area and she began crying so I wouldn't look. She has sensitive skin as it is so I'm used to her butt being red from time to time. Her hymen was intact but there was white gunk on the inside of her vagina area. It didn't look like yeast either. She's recently potty training and she's doing well. She takes off her own diaper and goes. Then comes to tell me that she went potty. The past few days she has been abnormally cranky and overly tired. She fights to go to bed. I love her daycare but today I think the man that works the other part of the daycare was on her side of the building today. Im not overly fond of him. He's kind of mean to the kinds. I've been sexually abused so maybe I'm over thinking. She started at this daycare a few weeks ago and so far there has been no problems. She kept digging at herself when we got out of the shower today as well.
Melissa on August 28, 2017:
Hello i need any advice on how to deal and not fear with leaving ur kids at a day care pre school or anywhere while u can work. I was molested as a child 3 times and i said i wouldn't ever leave my kids anywhere and my sons father agreed but now he's changed and being selfish so i have no choice but to start working or stay starving. Help please I feel so stuck and hopeless.
Misty on August 23, 2017:
Child protective services are absolutely good for nothing! They don't help people, especially children! Child protective services ruins people's lives and children's lives as well. Child protective services should be totally defunded and shut down!! I mean in every state too!!! My daughter had an outcry to Child protective services and the woman did absolutely nothing! Oh the woman claimed, well we weren't here to invest that.. Can you believe these low life scum suckers??!! WORTHLESS!!! I'll be posting all of this stuff on my website. Coming soon..
Key on August 20, 2017:
Hello reader, I am having an huge problem and need advise. Please help...
I have a 6 year old daughter. She has been doing odd things, well things I find odd. The 3 things are described in this paragraph. #1)For months now she has been taking the clothes off her Barbie dolls. I would repeatedly ask her not to do that but she continued to undress them. I decided to google it to see if I was overreacting. Seems I may have been due to threads of other parents stating its normal. #2)Just last friday I was looking at her gallary on her tablet. I found a recording of her rubbing on herself and taking her clothes off. She then started to pertain to hump something while talking(couldn't completely understand what she was saying) she did that for a while then made a sound like orgasm. Then she fell over and laid down for a few seconds and then put back on her clothes. I was stunned. I asked her about the video and she beings to cry claiming she doesn't know shes just like that. So contacted her doctor that night and on monday I plan to have her evaluated. #3) Okay so today I walk into her room and she had ken and barbie in bed with ken on top. The dolls were fully clothed. I asked her why is her dolls like this and she starts to cry saying ken trying to get the good things out of barbie. I asked, what are the good things? She said a glow stick. I asked, why would he have to be on top? Her response, how else do you get it out? I asked her, has anyone do this to you? She said no. I asked has she seen this before she says she can't remember.
My issue is I do not know if I am overreacting or is she showing signs of being molested. For 3 months she has been only around me mainly. I am single and not dating (we live alone). We don't have cable but we do watch movies sometimes. Before summer vacation the following people kept her: school, my dad, her aunt(16years old and her boyfriend stays at her house), her grandmother and her great grandmother, her dad.
The thought of my baby being used or exposed to sex is so upsetting. I just lay in my room and cry. I'm her mother, her only parent and as her parent my main job was to protect her and I feel like I failed her. I need to know the truth but she doesn't trust me, even after I told her if it did happen its not her fault.
Your personal opinion am I overreacting or are these signs?
Anonymous on August 17, 2017:
My girlfriend's 11 yr old son and 7yr old daughter, wait till we fall asleep and then they start touching each other. She doesn't believe me and it really is destroying me inside. I wish she would believe me but Everytime I hear them moving around I let her know but they outsmart her completely. Sadly, I feel hopeless and considering leaving this family for good. What do I do
E on August 06, 2017:
@ VON if it were my daughter I would do whatever I had to to make sure that she didnt have to go to her dads anymore!!!! Take her to the doc to make sure she wasnt molested. Take her to counseling to help with the trauma. Get a lawyer.
Law Cooper on August 01, 2017:
A.P.S. and C.P.S. will not help you well this A.P.S. social worker told me that wasn't going to help me and there I was in bad predicament so don't think Diane that they'll help you cause they don't
.... on August 01, 2017:
Please believe your children if they say they were touched.
I was molested as a child and my mother didnt believe me.
My 4 year old just told me my bf of a year and a half pulled down her pants and spit on her. That is absolutely nasty unforgivable.
I wanted him to confess though I believed her so I told him if it was a honest mistake and he thought it was me tell me. Ugh he said it was a mistake he thought it was me.
I broke up with him and kicked him out.
Erica on July 27, 2017:
A psychological distrubed discriminating police officer in S.E. D.C. is a retaliation officer and is one of many who has not been caught yet! This black officer retaliated on me for some one i complained about and for me complaining about some other stuff or whatever and had some teachers and kids at a D.C. school and some outside neighborhood folks ...etc. bullying my little girl calling her a boy in a dress and i a man when we are not! People were verbally abusing us, had gaslighted and etc. Us off and on for a couple of years because of this policeman and recently, since 2016 after we were forced back into D.C. from L.A. because of lack of funds they have been trying to pedifile her with lesbian and gay activity words, when she is not and threats were made towards us and stuff for us to not tell on them to his superiors...the police guy bragged around me a couple of times saying he wants me to go crazy so i can go to a mental ward. So he has been using my daughter to hurt me by him having some women messing around with my little girl and sexually harrasing her and having some other MPD police guys slandering us to people...it's even deeper than this of what i have mentioned here! This is morally wrong and victimization and the injustice of life! I am sound minded and this officer needs prayer, we all do! My daughter and i needs a hero to survive this officers personal retribution ...I plead the blood of Jesus over my daughter and i...I hope you all gets justice too! U.S.A.
Von on July 26, 2017:
My daughter is 3 and she asked her brother can she see his wee wee. When it came to my attention from him telling me what she asked i asked her questions. I asked who showed you their wee wee at your dad house? She had fear in her eyes and started crying so i comforted her and asked the same question then she say no i ask why she tells me that mommy is gonna get beat up so im real concern now so i asked her again she tells me dadfy told me to touch his wee wee. Im pissed to the max. What should i do? Help me
Scared confused on July 23, 2017:
My sister and niece spent the night since yesterday my niece dad got out yesterday he's crazy in the head I know for sure my sister just wants peace with her daughter and father but after today my niece came back told me her private hurt
Angel on July 22, 2017:
When my daughter sits on her Dads lap I will glance over and she keeps trying to pull his hand toward her crotch and he will pull away. One time he was laying down on the ground and she ran ovwr and sat on his hand and he pulled it away. She neved does this with me what do you l think?
Mary on July 21, 2017:
My 2 yr old granddaughter started about 3 wks ago covering her eyes when changing her diaper. Should I be concerned about this?
Becky on July 13, 2017:
I feel a little afraid. My daughter's father always likes to shower with her and I caught him exposing himself to her when he thought I was out smoking a cigarette. He seems so offended but I'm no fool. Don't know how to catch him
Robyn on July 13, 2017:
Can I also add that they may not be afraid of the perpetrator because the touching can be pleasurable and gives them the warm fuzzies - sadly!
Diane on July 11, 2017:
I hope someone replies back to me. I'm in the middle between my husband and my daughter. My husband is being investigated because my daughter said she had sex with him. He says she's lying. She told the children services and the investigators everything in detail. I believed it then I don't then I do I'm just confused. The investigators said it will take 45 to 60 days. Now they're saying they need more time. Around the 60th day my daughter said her half-brother and her cousin raped her which is another case. My husband did refuse to take a lie detector test. Please tell me what I should do or think or what I'm really getting sick over this.
Julie Clarity on July 10, 2017:
I showed signs of molestation. My godfather helped himself to my body from ages 0-60 mos. I must have done something to give it away, and person who was my father decided to not pursue the avenue of getting me help. He used it, instead, as a was to try and groom me for when he was interested in me, sexually, as a teenager. So, there is no way I would have told my mother, if she even noticed, when he was around.
I also knew sex was a secret kept between mommies and daddies, so I may not have told her, either, due to the fear of getting beat, again.
It is a heavy burden for a tot to carry, and it has taken me forty-five years to actually come to a place I am willing to remember what happened and attempt to heal.
If anyone is standing by while a child is being molested, we do remember. Oh yes, we do remember.
No Name on July 07, 2017:
I found out my 4 year old has been molested since the age of two by her 2 older cousins. Im noticing alot of the symptoms i have been reading online. I understand my baby and I want to help her. If anyone has any info what i can do please please respond i want mt daughter to grow up happy with a healthy mentality. PLEASE I NEED RESOURCES. Does counseling help or will it make it worse for her?
Her cousins are 11 and 9
Mackenzie on July 07, 2017:
My child has been saying all those things I talked to my boyfriend/her stepdad had he said he did do things to her I broke up with him right after and kicked him out
Arielle on July 05, 2017:
These are all signs and things to watch for. Thank you for sharing.
This is a problem that we don't discuss enough and it's everywhere.
My heart goes out to ALL of you who have experienced something like this or are caring for someone who has experienced this.
I have no words.
Except that offenders are never 'cured'. Research shows this. They are broken. They deserve NO mercy. NO understanding and NO sympathy.
And, they will stop at nothing to get what they want. Thousands upon thousands have gone to 'treatment' and have professed to be 'cured' only to offend again. In fact, they get smarter and better at it.
The only thing we can do is to make our children our priority. Nothing is more important than their safety.
If you see a red flag, don't stop to wonder why, remove that person from your life. Period.
These sweet, innocent children need our protection and support above all else.
Unfortunately, the prosecutorial process is broken and returns few results. You need to rely on yourself to keep your child protected.
@Jamie, get a life. Only a narcissistic ego-maniac who is bent on criticizing others to make himself/herself look and feel smarter would be unable to see beyond the grammar to the real message here.
Marlene sutherin on July 05, 2017:
I have more of a question, my sister has recently gotten custody of her four year old daughter,my sister came by with her for the first time in 3 years, my 16 year old daughter orabelle was playing Barbie dolls with her, orabelle my daughter wanted o draw her, she freaked out screaming didn't want daughter to draw her at all. Then orabelle my daughter said ok let's take picture of you and again this little girl freaked completely, I don't know why this little girl is so afraid of pictures of herself or drawing of herself, like I've. Said have not seen her since 3 years ago. Maybe someone may shine light to hats wrong here. Thanks
Anonymous on July 04, 2017:
There is a very close acquaintance that I am involved with and they have a 6 year old daughter. She is very spoiled ( which most children are these days), but will throw a terrible tantrum if she doesn't get her way. There have been times she she has trouble pooping, she has gone for days and when she finally goes, it is painful for her. She is always acting out for attention. She is 6 years old and still acts like a baby, sometimes she has a pacifier and sometimes ..even drinks from a baby bottle. She has a babydoll that she carries around in a "real" car seat and refers to her as her baby sister. She wants "real" things for this babydoll, like a new car seat, stroller,, etc. But the most bizarre thing that has me troubled is, just this past weekend she went and got up in her 15 year old sister's lap, like she was going to cuddle with her and then she peed on her sister, on purpose, and then thought it was funny. I am extremely troubled by how she is allowed to act, especially after this past incident. I am not sure if any of this means anything or not, I just know I would never allow my child to behave in this way, and I know it is not my place but there is something going on with this child. I do not know if it's any type of abuse or what....just wondering if anyone has any ideas/comments. Thank you
Hmm on June 26, 2017:
I can totally relate to all of this, I was molested from the age of 6 to age 9 in a half, I was too afraid to tell anyone because I was told that I would get into trouble and that he would kill my family. I'm 21 years old now and it all still relays in my head from time to time, I even harmed myself because of it and wished that it never happened, I hated playing hide and go seek in the dark with him because he'd always find me and do what he wanted, he even covered my mouth so that my screams couldn't carry throughout the house and I just hate him so much for screwing up my life and having me to hate my own life
jamie on June 20, 2017:
It would be so much easier to read and believe if the author could actually write with good grammar. I don't trust anyone with missing grammar abilities or teeth. Usually they're existing simultaniously... lacking grammar and teeth I mean...
Disturbed on June 20, 2017:
To the grandma who's grandson is clearly crying out for help and saying your husband is hurting him and even telling you how.. I left this alone for a couple of days but I am sick in my soul and spirit. How dare you not protect that baby... you should be ashamed of yourself and your just as wrong as your sick husband if you don't do something and get him out of harms way. Anyone who knows of their child or grandchild crying out for help and does nothing is JUST AS GUILTY. I could be sick that more common sense isn't with a bunch of you people.
Maddie on June 19, 2017:
My daughter had all these signs now she is an adult and will not do anything and he has probably touched hundred other kids
Samantha Jones on June 18, 2017:
When I was 12, my mom would go to school. My dad would ask me to make him some coffee. I would take it to him and he would have me sit in his lap with no panties on. He dipped me back on the bed and try to insert his fingers into my private. I told my brother. My brother told me to tell Mom and I did . When dad was confronted by officials , he denied it. The officials believed him. Now that I'm grown, he says that I'm a liar and me and my siblings did him wrong. My mom is still married to that monster and when I go to see her, he's always in my face or he jumps into the conversation that I'm having with Mom. Everytime I bring a female friend to see mom, he tries to get in her face and in her private life and I end up losing a friend.
Lamees Tayyib on June 16, 2017:
If you think your child is being molested by someone, keep them safe and get them away from that person. Limit all access to them! Divorce if you have to or send the kid away to live with someone you trust like your mother until you can finalize the divorce. Please, please, please always trust your kids, kids don't /have/ sexual imaginations unless they've been sexually abused or exploited somehow (yes, even being exposed to porn is a form of sexual abuse and is often done by abusers to groom them into acting like porn stars who, as we know, are forced to engage in often incredibly painful and unnatural acts).
Saving Grace on June 15, 2017:
I've read some of the comments below. Please never give up! If something is being done to you, or you have a thought/feeling about someone you can't shake, pursue action. It is NEVER OK for anyone to touch you without your permission. YOU are in charge of your body. It is your temple. You tell everyone, and keep telling people. Someone will listen. And when you tell someone, you need to give them details. Details alert adults that something isn't right. Please don't be quiet about this, be LOUD! I will pray for all of you.
Belinda on June 14, 2017:
Believe your child. Kids don't know how to make things up like that. If they are saying something to you believe it. Make a journal and write down what she said, when she said it and signs or symptoms. Take her to her primary to let doctor know that way doctor has record of it also. Do it asap. Don't procrastinate.