Signs of Sexual Abuse, Molestation, and Wrongful Touch of Children

Updated on November 16, 2017
GlstngRosePetals profile image

I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and the mother of two, doing everything that needs to be done to protect my children.


Signs of Wrongful Touch

There are thousands of innocent children being violated every day. The majority of them are being wrongfully touched right at home by a family member or a friend of the family. In other words, it doesn't matter how well you think you know your family, it only matters that you know and react to the signs of abuse.

Most people don't know what signs to look for, or they overlook the little clues in front of them. Through my own experiences of being a child that was wrongfully touched by a family member, I hope what I went through will shed a little light on what to look out for. Some of these things might not be anything to worry about, but they might also be warning signs of abuse.

  1. Crying. A child that cries continuously when you leave them or drop them off with a person, sitter, family member, daycare, or elsewhere. Also pay attention if they start crying when they never used to cry before.
  2. Sudden negativity. If your usually polite child suddenly displays rudeness or some other unusual reaction to a particular person.
  3. Monsters. If your child tells you that there's monster in the closet (or somewhere else), you should take this seriously.
  4. Missing clothing. If you put your child to bed in pajamas but find them with no clothes on in the morning.
  5. Attachment. If your child suddenly by your side at all times and doesn't want to leave you or suddenly they want to start sleeping in your bed with you.
  6. Fear. When you ask your child if someone's doing things to them and they get a look of fear in their eyes. They might not answer truthfully, but you might see their fear.
  7. School performance. A dramatic drop in grades at school or a teacher's notice that indicate your child is not listening or doing their work.
  8. Pain or irritation. If your child (male or female) complains of pain when using the restroom. If there is redness or pain in their genitals, anus, or mouth.
  9. Lack of attention. You'll notice your child is not listening or if they have behavioral outbreaks and develop a negative attitude towards things they used to not mind.
  10. Self-harm. You might notice that your child has started calling himself stupid or has started intentionally punishing herself (cutting, hitting herself in the head, etc.).
  11. New vocabulary. Your child might suddenly ask you to touch their private area, or they might have new words for their body parts.
  12. Underwear. If your child is constantly changing their underwear because they feel dirty.
  13. Blood or infection. If you see any signs of infection or blood in their underwear, take them to the doctor right away.
  14. Sexualized play. If sexuality suddenly becomes a theme of your child's games with dolls or toys, especially if the dolls suddenly start performing sex acts you didn't know they even knew about.
  15. Inappropriate touch or sexual behavior. If your child tries to touch children or adults in their private areas, or if sex suddenly becomes a topic.
  16. Sexual kissing. Tongue or sexual kissing can be a sign.
  17. Self-penetration. If young children putting fingers or toys in their anus or vagina.
  18. Sleep issues. If your child develops nightmares or other sleep difficulties.
  19. Change of appetite. If they stop eating, start to binge-eat, or have difficulty swallowing.
  20. Mood swings. Sudden bursts of anger, insecurity, or fear might be a sign that something is going on.
  21. Indirect communication. A child who can't talk about it might leave some kind of clue, hoping to provoke you to start a discussion.
  22. Sexual imagery. If your child suddenly starts writing, drawing, singing, imagining, or dreaming sexually explicit things.
  23. Regression. If an older child starts acting younger (sucking their thumb, using baby talk, etc.).
  24. Fear of nudity. If your child resists removing their clothes for a bath, to change, etc.
  25. Refusal to bathe. Inadequate personal hygiene might be a sign of a problem.
  26. Avoidance. If your usually affectionate and loving child suddenly avoids physical contact.
  27. Bed-wetting or accidents. When your child is suddenly wetting the bed for no apparent reason and they never did that in the past, or if a potty-trained child suddenly starts wetting or soiling their pants.
  28. Lack of interest. If they start losing interest in things they used to enjoy.
  29. PTSD symptoms. Many of the signs above are also symptoms of a post-traumatic stress disorder: Agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destruction, social isolation, flashbacks, fear, anxiety, loss of trust, loss of interest, guilt, insomnia, nightmares, etc.

A Child's Sexual Behavior Isn't Always a Sign of Abuse

You must figure out what behavior is normal, healthy, and age-appropriate and what is inappropriate and alarming.

What If a Child Says They Are Being Abused or Molested?

The first and most important thing to do if your child tells you something inappropriate happened is to always, always take the child seriously, no matter whom they say did it. If they muster up the courage to come to you for help, you simply must respond like a responsible, caring adult.

  1. Believe them. There may be a tiny chance this is all just a misunderstanding, but that is highly unlikely. Your job is to resolutely take your child's side, protect them, and find answers.
  2. Don't freak out. Again, you must be the adult here. This is not the time or the place to break down or lose your temper. You can do that later.
  3. Comfort them. The child needs your love and reassurance now. Make sure they know that it's not their fault, that you are on their side, and that you will do everything in your power to prevent anything like this from happening again.
  4. Make them safe. Make every change you need to make to remove the child from danger and cut off that adult's access to your child: not tomorrow, not next week, but now. If you need to change where you live, then do it. If you must pull them out of school, do it. If your child was abused by a family member, you must break that family tie to protect your child, at least until you find another solution. This is not the time to delay, keep secrets, or worry what people think. The only thing that matters is your child's safety.
  5. Get help. Call the police, go to the doctor, file reports, enlist services, find counselors. Get all the help you need to protect your child and help them (and you, and your family) recover.

Many children continue to be friendly or affectionate to the person who is sexually abusing them.

What Kinds of Touch Are Wrongful and Inappropriate?

Child sexual abuse does not have to involve sex, penetration, or nudity. Any time an adult or older person touches or handles a child inappropriately, even if the child doesn't seem to notice or mind, is problematic. Hugging, "playing," rubbing, lap-sitting, and any other physical contact might be considered abusive. Remember, sexual abuse need not involve touch at all—a child can be sexually abused with words only, for example, or with a camera.

According to Crimes Against Children Research Center, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are sexually abused by age 18.

Signs That an Adult Might Be Sexually Abusing Your Child

It’s up to parents, family members, and friends to keep an eye out for the following "grooming" behaviors in the adults who come into contact with a child:

  • Overbearing imposition. If the older person refuses to give the child privacy and imposes themselves physically in the child's space. If they demand control over the child.
  • Bullying. Picking on or ostracizing a child.
  • Playing favorites. Choosing one favorite or "pet" child and treating them better than the others. Flattering, praising, complimenting, being overly attentive to, and rewarding one child.
  • Insisting on contact. If the older person goes out of their way to offer to babysit or take the child on overnight trips. If they
  • Insisting on physical contact. If the older person insists on physical "affection" (a kiss, a hug, a "playful" wrestle, etc.).
  • Demanding time. If an older person arranges for uninterrupted time alone with a child.
  • Gifts. If they give a child gifts for no apparent reason.
  • Disregard of privacy. If they talk about the child's body, if they interrupt a child who's in the bathroom or dressing, or if they embarrass or lack regard for the child's privacy.
  • Preoccupation with anatomy. If the older person shows interest in the child's sexual development and growth. If they fixate upon or repeatedly bring up the subject of the child's appearance or development.
  • Secrets. If the older person tries to get the child to keep something secret from the parents.
  • Oversharing. An older person who shares inappropriate personal information and mature confidences with a child.
  • Playing the "good guy." If they try to convince the child that they are the only one who really cares. If they try to isolate and cut the child off from their family and friends by disrespecting and undercutting those relationships.

Predators Target the Most Vulnerable Children

They look for kids who are unhappy, needy, lonely, and hungry for attention.

Talking to Your Child About Sexual Abuse

These are a few things that I have experienced and have seen happen with children that have been abused.

  • If you feel your child is being violated, don't be afraid to ask them, but do it in a safe and private setting.
  • Reassure your child that it's okay to tell you, that you won't get upset, and that it's not their fault.
  • Also reassure them that if someone threatened violence, to them or anyone else, that they don't have to worry. If that's one thing a violator does— they scare the abused child by saying that if they tell, they'll endanger themselves or a family member.
  • If your child says it's a family member, don't doubt them by thinking no, that couldn't be, because I'm sorry to tell you, YES, it can be, and there's a good chance it is true. Some family members take advantage of that proximity. Sibling sexual abuse and sibling incest happens.
  • The National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. Professional crisis counselors are there 24/7 to provide assistance in over 170 languages. All calls are confidential.

The National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453

Professional crisis counselors are there 24/7 to provide assistance in over 170 languages. All calls are confidential.

Questions & Answers

    © 2009 GlstngRosePetals


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      • profile image

        Marry 2 weeks ago

        my child is being molested, she falls under all of these. I need to find out who has been doing it

      • profile image

        Deanna Dorrough 2 weeks ago

        see I my kids are cool

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        Sarah 3 weeks ago

        To No Name. Honey if you were my daughter, i would want to know if your dad was touching you. You arent doing anything wrong, its your dad. He shouldnt be touching you like that. She would be happier if she knew that nothing is happening to you. I hope you tell her or someone else you trust. If not her do you have grandparents or maybe an aunt or a teacher?

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        Leroy 4 weeks ago

        3 year old daughter had an accident playing with the other children in the play area at mikes kitchen she wet herself my girlfriend took her to the rest room that's when she asked my girlfriend make it better please the words that came from her mouth is killing me it's eating on me can someone please advise what i should do.

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        Annoymous 4 weeks ago

        Dear no name please tell someone maybe your grandparents or a teacher or an aunt. It’s not ok for your Dad to touch you and say it’s the last time. It’s not your fault and he needs to get help for something he is dealing with

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        No name 7 weeks ago

        I am 13 years old and my dad Has touched me since I was in grade 4 he always says this is the last time but it never is. I want to tell my mom but I don’t want to hurt her and brake her heart.

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        Concerned 7 weeks ago

        ^ months ago my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter after a long week with just her daddy started doing very sexual things, all the sudden she was afraid of monsters and her bottom was looking purple. I tried to talk to my daughter, but she has an anger problem and the relationship with the babies daddy is very toxic (drugs, LSD, Speed) I went to DHS in the area and they said we don't talk to children under three. This was after the Sherrie had already spoke to my granddaughter and I was directed to do an emergency stay order and DHS told me too.

        Then it all bow up! My daughter freaked out when we tried to talk to her and she doesn't want to believe it, even with the he signs all present and she swung at me in front of the DHS worker. The baby daddy is hiding in the house and all he's afraid about is going to jail. Not who might be touching our baby? The DHS wrote it off to I didn't like the Daddy.

        Well, it's 6 months later and now she's 3 years old. I had her for one night and she was trying to play with my beasts and calling them Cheechees and rumbling her own. I told her we don't play that and who is doing it. She said it Daddy. I started to dress her after her bat and she told me her bottom hurt really bad. I asked why and looked at it. It was purple and red, so I asked if she had a hard poop and she said no, Daddy hurt it. She told me he puts on a scary mask and scares her and hurts her. She said he blows smoke at her and the are pot smokers.

        because of how the DHS handled it last time and she didn't want to tell me what was going on. Because she didn't want me to go away again,,,, I told her I will try and find the right help this time and It's going to be okay, but meanwhile he can do whatever he wants with her. The drugs are bad and the pot use is chronic. They live with her daddy's mother (Other Grandmother) and she supports all the drugs...... Don't know what to do and I'm praying for help for my granddaughter that isn't gonna traumatized her by her not seeing us again....

        She came home to us and she has known nothing but us in her life as stable....... Believing for help!!!

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        Prudy 2 months ago

        I seen a young boy about 10 go in my neighbor house I'm very concerned please help me I don't want to call the police because I'm not sure

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        Mish 2 months ago

        My sister is 7 years older than me. Growing up she's often warned me about walking around the house with minimal clothing and wearing loose, see through tops etc When it was time to shower she'd tell me to make sure i stand in a certain spot in the bathroom so when i come out of the shower no one outside can see me from the window. I'd ask her why, that theres no reason to and she'd say because dad is a man. I thought she was crazy, i always said that no way would he do anything, its so not his character to do anything improper. I even remember every time id watch a scary movie id wanna sleep in the same bed as dad. And she'd say DONT!!!!!! why would you sleep next to dad? I said why not?? and shes like he's a man afterall...

        Anyways she's never said anything happened between her and dad and dad was always a very respectable person in many peoples eyes so i never even considered that it could be true. When i was 18-19 my sister found out he was cheating on my mum. And i guess that tipped her off the edge and she revealed everything to me that night. I believed her straight away and it was a very scary night. My dad knew we were talking about him, and he'd pretend to go for a smoke and stand outside our room window and he'd try to come into the room and ask what we were talking about. Ill never forget how guilty his face looked that night.

        She told me it started when she hit puberty at around 13. He did it till she was about 22. It was more frequent during her high school years. He'd wake her up in the middle of the night and ask her to sit on his lap. And he'd ask her questions about what her and her boyfriend in school do together sexually. He'd tell her that mum didnt give him affection and she treats him poorly, which is true, but he used it to guilt trip her. When we'd shower he used to go out for a smoke every time he heard the shower turn on. and the weird part is he did often go out exactly when we stepped into the shower, and came back in after we came out of the bathroom. And that's why she showed me where to stand in the bathroom so no one (dad) would see us naked from the window.

        The most pain was endured by my sister. He killed the person she would've been. And now the struggle on my side is that my dad growing up was my hero, i admired him and loved him so much. He never did any of that to me and to me he was a good dad. But my sister was my best friend, and he did terrible things to her. I feel torn in understanding who my dad was. Like his identity is split into 2 people. The respectable loving dad i've known him to be, and then the dad that he was to my sister who's power hungry, dark, scary and touches children like his daughter. Two extremely different people. I feel sick every time i think about it, i can recall times when they'd be very whispery in her bedroom together and there has been times where id wake up in the night and see them chatting very secretively. I always assumed they were just having an adult conversation. It has damaged me even though it didnt happen to me. It happened right next to me, to my best friend. I feel like my amazing childhood was a lie, i feel bad for my mum that she has to live obliviously next to this man who did this to her daughter. How do i move on?

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        Natasha 2 months ago

        I really don't know what to do i need help and if anyone as a number no could call I'd be very grateful when my daughter was five another five year old had put her hands down my daughter's pance and the girl told my daughter to do it back anyway I walked in to the room where this was happening fyooming is not the word I could of list it but I asked the girl very calmly where did you see this she replayed with my dad and his girlfriend do it they have also had sex why I have been in the same bed so I was mortified buy this point I felt sick to my stomach I removed my daughter and she never seen the girl again now my daughter is 7 years old there was an incident to night where there was my daughter and her friend and her friends sister all playing in one of the girls bedrooms my daughter was stopping to play and in was going home as I only live around the corner so I went upstairs to tell my daughter to make shore she dose as she's told and don't for get her manners its something I always say before I leave her at anyone's house anyway I walked up the stirs to find the bedroom door shut so I opened to find to 7 year olds and a 5 year old playing the same sex so I said what do you mean your playing sex and Imedatley sent them down the stirs to where my friend was we asked what the he'll was going on they said the 5 year old was on the bottom the to girls was on top of her moving up and down and they had all been kissing one anther I'm so discussed It's unreal I just don't know what to do about it why do kids know about this at such a young age is bloody discussing I'm worried that if there's a next time something like this could happen I'm just worried about how far things might go and I need to nip it in the bud now

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        Lilly 3 months ago

        About 5 months ago my boyfriend told me that he sees figures. He said sometimes he sees shapes and blobs but when it gets bad he sees a figure that looks like a man but has no face. He explained that he can hear footsteps that aren’t actually there. He told me that he used to cut himself everyday and heard voices telling him to kill/hurt himself. He said he would sneak his parents alcohol to get through days sometimes he’d sneak their cigarettes. At the time I had no clue how to process the information I’m just a 17 year old girl. He told me not to tell anyone because he was embarrassed and that no one would believe him. I felt terrible. Then after a few months he told me that he was sexually abused as a kid. His dad is in the military so him and his parents moved around a lot. His mom used to babysit a kid who was 2 years older than him and he would abuse him. He told me that the boy would force him to touch him or look at his gentials or he would touch him and want to look at him. After hearing this I was about to call his mother but then he sent me pictures of him holding a gun to his head and would send pictures of knifes. He said if I told anyone he’d kill himself. As weeks past he started getting physical with me. He made me delete all social media, I’m not allowed any friends, I can’t leave without telling him everything I’m doing. When I upset him he pulls my hair, spits on me, squeezes my hand really hard, forcing me to look at him. It’s getting to the point where I want to leave but I can’t manage to do it because I care and love him so much. I just want him to get help. Recently he told me he was bisexual and fantasizes about giving a guy a blowjob. This was very shocking to hear because he would always tell me he hates gay people and lesbians. He said my sister was disgusting because she’s a lesbian. I just want him to get help and I don’t know what to do.

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        Birdy 3 months ago

        i have been molested by three men when i was little. took me years to talk about it. but still kept quiet about the third person. i did see a psychologist and she did say i will have very bad scars. over the years since i saw her i never understood what she meant, but now i do. ive been single for almost 10 years, because it is difficult for me to get romantically involved with men. especially white men, i have a male friend who is muslim. known him almost 8 years, but i have found comfort and love and acceptance with him. is this because the men who molested me, was white men, and see the resemblance with all white men? why is it now different with him who is a muslim and i am white? why cant i fall in love or find the safe space every women wants or seeking for in white men?

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        The Aunt 3 months ago

        My brother received a letter from his adult daughter (she's 31) accusing him of sexually molesting her when she was a child. My brother was stunned!! She is a recovering alcoholic and is attending AA meetings every day. She is refusing to allow "grandpa" to visit or even communicate with his 2 grandsons and great grandchildren until he writes a letter acknowledging detailing his "mis-deeds" and asking for her forgiveness. I am certain my brother was never involved in such activities with his daughter but she might have been sexually molested by another male or even female person and is projecting on him because he is a safe target. Oddly enough, when I was 30, (I'm 70 now) I wrote a letter to my father explaining how I remember him doing "funny" things to me when I was 2 or 3 years old. Later, I discovered that my older sister mentioned to this same brother that she felt she was sexually molested by our father. I remember being taken to a neighbor's house and even recalled some of the furnishings that were upstairs in the bedroom. I mentioned this to our mother (much later) and she confirmed that our father used to take my older sister and I over to a neighbor's house quite often and she even confirmed the furniture that was in the room as I had remembered it. I've pretty much gotten over all this stuff and I am only left wondering whether what happened to me was real or imagined. The only things that matter is what the child is feeling as a result of being molested (real or imagined) and what can be done to fix the enormous damage the child or adult lives with afterward. The mind is an odd thing and so are many of the humans on this planet. We have to feel our way around sometimes without really knowing how to handle certain situations. I know patience helps, as well as, trying to find out the real facts.

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        Ami 4 months ago

        To Arkygirl, Amanda, and anyone else saying it: there IS a world spelt 'spelt'. It's British, and their past tense word for spell. Please remember that Americanised spellings aren't used worldwide.

        A brief Google search would've shown you that, had any of you actually bothered to do so.

        But that is somewhat irrevelant. If you're looking for help, advice, someone to talk to, etc., your spelling is probably not very high on the list. As long as people can understand what you're trying to say.

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        Rose 4 months ago

        I notice my sister son touch my daughter and I want to tell his therapist but Im scared they take my sis son away from her could that happen. I mean I want to protect my daughter n I am but I want to find the right way.

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        Concerned 4 months ago

        I saw a man in the sauna shower with his 12 13 yr daughter the main door was open I saw them nude and guy had a hard on..

        Once before he his wife and daughter came into men's sauna.. I has small to well nothing else. They all 3 took off there swim suits. I said go to woman's. . They just smiled.

        I wanted to go and shower... the man said us first pls. His wife and him. He left me in the sauna with the girl. She spread he legs and smiled... I got up and ran out. I'm worried the r may be abuse. I want to call cops... but what if im over reacting?

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        yakira 4 months ago

        at the age of 5 I was sexually abused by a woman every night. I never spoke a word to anyone for the simple fact who would believe a five year old. I tried to just push that into the back of my mind and just bury it. Now at the age of 23 I have 2 daughters 5 and 2. My five year old came to me one day and told me that her aunt has been molesting her. I called the police and everything. they took my daughter to the hospital and said they couldn't find any dna and that due to her being in the shower their was no way of telling. My family is believing my sister and I am believing my daughter. No five year old is just gonna break down crying and begging for her aunt not to come over. No five year old is just going to Say Mommy my aunty makes me play mommy and daddy. she makes me lick her pom pom (vagina) and she takes her hands and puts it in me. it hurts mommy and I don't want her to come to our house. No five year old is going to say that. I have cut all ties off with my sister and I'm cutting ties off with my family as well because ill be damn for them to tell my daughter shes lying and for her to grow up thinking that when bad things happen no one will believe her and protect her. One day the truth will come out and when it does they will owe my baby an apology.

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        Arkygirl 4 months ago

        To Alexis regardingbyour English grammar lesson. Well you need a lesson in spelling...there is no word spelled “spelt” but there is a word spelled “spelled.”

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        Concerned Mommy 4 months ago

        I recently discovered that 1 of the 3 foster children that live at the babysitters house has been engaging in sexual acts with my 7 year old daughter. 2 of the 3 children age ( 6 & 8) we’re overheard talking about the 17 year old foster child kissing my 7 year old. When it was brought to my attention I immediately asked my daughter when she got off school. Her first response was Heck No Mommy no one kissed me. Then I reassured her she was not going to be in trouble that it was okay to tell the truth because I knew the truth. Then she began to brake down and cry. She proceeded to tell me the 17 year old has been making her hide from the others and he has been kissing her like the movies. Then she tells me mom I don’t like when he puts his tongue in my mouth. He also grabs me like this ( humping motion) but he does it slowly. By this point I’m sick to my stomach by this. I’m remaining calm. I ask her how many times has this happened and she says I don’t know mama too many to count. Then I ask her why she hasn’t ever told me about this. She says that she was scared to get in trouble and she was scared of him. He told her she better not tell anyone or he would hurt her! I brought her to the police and let her tell the entire story instead of me talking. So I have to wait from here and see what they are going to do. It’s been several days since this has happened I have no clue if he has been arrested or not. Impatiently waiting. Tomorrow I have to bring her to a child advocacy center to let them talk to her .

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        Jones 4 months ago

        My daughter recently started to touch herself at night time the other night I woke up she took all her clothes off besides her pull up. I need advice please. She goes over her dad with other kids and sleeps in the room with them. I ask where did you learn this from she said one of the kids name and laughed. Help me

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        lc.t 4 months ago

        i got a lot of my questions answered.

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        Cee 4 months ago

        I have a step son (age 10) that is showing serious signs of being gay. I'm fine with it but of course its hard on his dad to want to believe it. The problem I'm having now is that his son is starting to touch his other two younger brothers inappropriately. One of the brothers is my son that me and the father have together. I just start opening up to his father about his behavior but all he does is ignore it and says it won't never happen again. We just had another episode yesterday where the youngest one came to me and said that his brother (the gay one) "told me that he is going to put his D**k in his butt". Once again I told the father immediately after it happened and he stills shows signs of blowing it off. I'm tired of this crap! I'm not mad that the son may be gay, I'm upset because the father hasn't address good touch and bad touch with the boys. He needs to set boundaries with all of them. It's even more harder because I'm only the step parent and its nothing I can do. I'm just scared to leave them home alone with each other. I know he knows what he's doing and he lies about it because he's scared to get in trouble. I should not allow a step child to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. The father has to feel some type of way about this?! What should I do? or what can I do to get over this?

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        Amanda 4 months ago

        To Alexis,

        Abuse of any kind is devastating & life changing. It brings new problems of mental illness, promiscuity and suicide. People are hurting and are using this forum to cope and try to heal from their ordeal while you ignorantly attempt to correct their grammar. Really?!

        Your life must be pretty sad and lacking to attack people who are in pain.

        By the way it is "spelled" and not "spelt"

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        Catina Quinones 4 months ago

        Unfortunately my daughter who is now 4 years of age, has been molested by her father for 2 years. I was fighting for about 1 1/2 for her. She had all the classic signs. Finally I was heard and my daughter finally spoke to ACS at the age of 3 1/2. My daughter has not seen him since 8/ 2016. It's been 15 months now with no contact. Because she was molested for 2 years straight, I have a hard time with her but with the grace of God I'm doing for her. She attends heart share and safe horizon for therapy. Unfortunatelt, her father was recently granted supervised visits by family court 2 times a month. My daughter says she don't want to go to see him because he's bad and touches her and hits her. The law in NY states a parent has the right to see the child they raped or molested if they didn't see them in a year. Who is protecting our children when parents fight for there children and the law goes against the parent who is not the offender. Why does the law protect parents who molested or rap?????

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        Lori belote 5 months ago

        Will threats of violence with probable groping and grooming meet the requirements for restraining order?

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        Joey 5 months ago

        My daughter was molested by her father and although he doesn't want to admit it. all the signs were there all the time - I just wasn't AT THE TIME aware of the signs. I would say to parents BE INFORMED more so about the signs in your children's behavior as victims in order to know the signs and help them to escape at a early age. Needless to say - although my child was unknowingly a victim under my own room it hit me hard - I don't think any man can humiliate a women more than to fool around with their own daughter while you work your ass of all day long in the house, at school, in the garden and in bed to keep him satisfied. BANG - he played and wreck two souls and a family apart and now blame ME for the breakup JUST because he do not want to acknowledge his guilt, repent and get forgiveness.

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        Alice 5 months ago

        I'm confused.. when i was a toddler, my parents often had sex behind my back literally behind me while my mom would lull me to sleep by scratching my back. I heard them doing it but i didn't know what they were doing before. And there was this time i was drawing on the sofa and my mom sat on the other side of the sofa, naked waist down asking me how good i was at drawing. Then she asked me draw her crotch, then she spread her legs. I stupidly drew it. That was so messed up. I became distant to my family after i learned that what they did was disgusting. Was this still considered as sexual harrassment?

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        E. B. White 5 months ago

        "There's still libraries" says the person complaining about the grammar in this article.

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        Catherine 5 months ago

        I have a 10 yo grandson who plays with himself and now has exposed himself to me. He came out of the bathroom and says "hey grandma, look," pulled his pants down and moved his penis back and forth. I put him in time-out and he mumbled to himself repeatedly "no one wants to see your ugly thing," or "you know you should not do that," and "you know mama will ground you." I am concerned, but my daughter does not seem concerned by this. She tells me she has seen no signs of this at home and I am the only one he does this for. I don't think she believed me until I made her son tell her why he was in time-out. I am at a loss of what to do.

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        Rob 5 months ago

        I hav a grandma who is breaking into my room and touching my genetals in my sleep I’ve woken up to my groin smelling of dry silava and I have whittness

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        Geneva foreman: 5 months ago

        My daughter was told to never to tell me

        It’s her.stepfather has done it’some of her friends also. Will he ever change?

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        selena 5 months ago

        what do i do if i found images of 6 year old girls and younger and father raping daughter videos on my ex husbands computer we have a 13 year old son

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        Autumn M 5 months ago

        @Aaliyah Turner

        Thank you for commenting. I was sexually abused as a toddler and the effects are the same as yours. I'm 17 now and I feel enraged and terrified every day of my life. I feel like a scared bunny that's about to get it's intestines squeezed out by a giant hawk. The only time I don't feel like that is when I become the monster. I do this by killing small animals or setting fire to abandoned structures. The fire setting is especially soothing. Watching the flames dance seems to somehow pull all of the pain out of my body. I feel calmer and more in control afterwards. The effects of my abuse have ruined every aspect of my life. The smell of sex and certain alcohols terrify me. So sometimes i literally have to run out of a bathroom were a man has jacked off, because I can actually smell it. Once I was drinking my dad's beer and the smell gave me a sudden wave or panic and sickness. I immediately dumped the beer and hid in my room.

        I don't have any clear memories like you do, but my body and soul seem to remember it. The terror and pain, and yet strange addiction, I feel around sex is too strong to be my imagination. This and the fact that my birth father was a registered sex offender have me pretty convinced. But I was adopted, so any man in that time could have done it. I have a weird hatred and fear of my adoptive father so I'm suspicious it was him, but I'm not sure because I didn't hate him when I was younger.

        I just want you to know you're not alone. Wish we knew each other in real life. We could probably be good friends.

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        Alexis 5 months ago

        I appreciate your words and believe it gives good insight into the subject, however, I feel compelled to educate you on one thing, because if you are going to post anything online, especially for others to take your article as a source of advice, I'm sure you would want them to take you and your knowledge on the matter at hand seriously. Correct?

        First of all, it is spelt "wrongful," not with two L's.

        Secondly, there are three different individual words that are all pronounced as "there." Nonetheless, they are all spelt differently as they all three have different meanings. Words that are spelt differently, but have the same pronunciation which have different definitions from each other, are known as homophones. An example would be with the words, "knew"and "new," as well as "know" and "no." As you can see, these words sound the same to the ear, but they are not spelt The same nor do they have the same definition or word usage.

        THEIR: this word is used to show ownership of more than one single person, thing, etc. Such as multiple persons who may own something or several things. An example sentence: "that is THEIR house." So in your article when you state under sign 3, "your child suddenly takes 'there' clothes off..." that is not correct English grammar.

        Technically, even using the proper word "their" to show possession is not correct in this case either. As stated above, "their" is used to show ownership by multiple persons. With your example, you use the word child, therefore, it is a single noun (noun-person, place, or thing) which means you should have said "your child takes his/her clothes...."

        In a nutshell, "their" is only used to say multiple (more than one) persons or things own whatever they possess such as a plural noun like "they."

        To continue, I will explain the word THEY'RE.

        "They're" is considered a contraction. A contraction is when two words are combined by an apostrophe to make one word. You may have seen some examples of words as contractions such as the words DON'T (do+not) and WON'T (will not).

        Now for example, when you state in your sixth sign "there very quiet..." that, as well, is an incorrect use of the word THERE. The correct word is, you guessed it, THEY'RE. Nonetheless, it actually still isn't the proper word to use here, but lack of intelligence is just harder to detect this way and more easily accepted. Once again, you used the word child, which is a word used to describe singularity, meaning you are communicating ONE person, so the proper words to use in this type of sentence would be, "...doing stuff to HIM/HER...HE/SHE has a look...."

        An example of proper usage of the word THEY'RE would be, "they're going to the store." Because without the contraction of the word they're, it would be, "THEY ARE going to the store." This is the word you should have used also in your sixth example, "there very quiet..." Indeed, it should have been, "THEY'RE very quiet."

        Lastly, I will move on to what is evidently your favorite of the "there, they're, and their" homophones, or perhaps the only one you are aware of, the simple word THERE.

        The word "there" is typically used as an adverb which means "in or at a place." An example sentence would be, "we are going THERE after dinner." Also you could use it as a pronoun, "There is no hope!" I'm actually surprised you used the word "there" in the wrong places more often than in the correct ones. (For better understanding, looking up the definitions of pronoun and adverb is advisable.)

        That concludes my comment. I hope what I have said resonates and you were able to learn a few things about the English language and can better your grammar for later writing. Writing any kind of article for others to read is great and encouraging, especially one such as this. Nevertheless, as a reader, I am not able to take the writer and his/her potential knowledge on the issue seriously when there are grammatical errors, amongst other writing mistakes. If one cannot even express one's intellect without the ability to write properly, how in the world am I going to be able to think one is smart enough to give insight on anything, aside from how not to proof read and/or write an article poorly, that is. In this age, there is just frankly no excuse to not be educated on many subjects, especially the subject of how to write properly. Google is just a click away! Not an option? There's still libraries, if anyone can believe that.

        I only listed the most irksome examples I found in this article. There were plenty more, such as run on sentences and lack of punctuation.

        I wish you all the best. Good luck with your writing and all its needed corrections!

        -A person who may not have a life, but has an incredible need to expose and educate those who butcher the English language.

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        Paul 6 months ago

        I've a 3.5yr old daughter. My daughter has apparently said I've inappropriately touched her. Which I haven't. S services r involved. So Was The police. I didn't get prosecuted. So I took my ex to court because she was stopping me from having a relationship with her. I've a court order. My daughter is a proper daddy's girl. My ex hates the fact she is. She's done a fb hate campaign against me. Told all her family and friends and people from my area what I've supposedly done. Now all if a sudden my daughter has mentioned to a soc worker I've done something that I know is not true. I know things r being said in her house and by the nan. I just can't prove it. My ex now wants counselling for our daughter. Yet she shows no signs or acts in anyway that would set off alarm bells. She just randomly says things. Like daddy smacks my mooey. She even goes on about her weight. She 3.5!! I'd do a lie detector but after looking into it they don't actually work. Should I just take her back to court?

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        Kim 6 months ago

        For years now we have suspected that my granddaughter and her sisters have been molested by their dad. Many years of her complaing her privates hurt and i tell her mother that something is "Wrong"seriously WRONG. She REFUSES To believe her daughter . The other night I was drying her off after a bath and she sharply said that hurts!! I asked why and she told me daddy puts his pee pee in my butt and also said timmy(daddys friend) spits in my Pee Pee) my husband heard her and we quickly took her to cps they took all the children away its been almost a month, we were all set up to take custody again and my daughter somehow had the girls put in foster care, So at lost we did nothing wrong and granddaughter did nothing wrong. Her own mom talks with such hatered towards my husband and Our granddaughter who spoke up of her being raped. And my daughter says to me I will never see her again.The granddaughters father molested his sisters and was put in juvenile and he had his records expunged so he has no criminal records. CPS has the girls and are investagating but give us no info I told them about his past of molesting but that is not showing up in records I am so terrified they will give her back so scared. In washington grandparents have no rights. Cps gave us temp custody when she was 4 months her arm was broken and a prior broken collar bone was noted to be found they couldnt figure out who broke it almost a year later they gave her back to my daughter and her boyfriend. God please someone help her what can we do?

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        Puppy aunt 6 months ago

        My niece is being molested she told me her new mother of one month says she knows her secret and is OK with it now I have to monsters in this home and noone believes me how do I help her with no proof

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        AMBER 7 months ago


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        Vicky Crum 7 months ago

        What if the child is only a 14 month old baby? And all she wants to do is play with herself when your changing her and she's constantly putting her hands in her diaper by her thigh ?

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        La 7 months ago

        My daughter is two. Today she came home and I was taking a shower with her. I noticed her butt area was red and so was her vagina. I checked the area and she began crying so I wouldn't look. She has sensitive skin as it is so I'm used to her butt being red from time to time. Her hymen was intact but there was white gunk on the inside of her vagina area. It didn't look like yeast either. She's recently potty training and she's doing well. She takes off her own diaper and goes. Then comes to tell me that she went potty. The past few days she has been abnormally cranky and overly tired. She fights to go to bed. I love her daycare but today I think the man that works the other part of the daycare was on her side of the building today. Im not overly fond of him. He's kind of mean to the kinds. I've been sexually abused so maybe I'm over thinking. She started at this daycare a few weeks ago and so far there has been no problems. She kept digging at herself when we got out of the shower today as well.

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        Melissa 7 months ago

        Hello i need any advice on how to deal and not fear with leaving ur kids at a day care pre school or anywhere while u can work. I was molested as a child 3 times and i said i wouldn't ever leave my kids anywhere and my sons father agreed but now he's changed and being selfish so i have no choice but to start working or stay starving. Help please I feel so stuck and hopeless.

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        Misty 7 months ago

        Child protective services are absolutely good for nothing! They don't help people, especially children! Child protective services ruins people's lives and children's lives as well. Child protective services should be totally defunded and shut down!! I mean in every state too!!! My daughter had an outcry to Child protective services and the woman did absolutely nothing! Oh the woman claimed, well we weren't here to invest that.. Can you believe these low life scum suckers??!! WORTHLESS!!! I'll be posting all of this stuff on my website. Coming soon..

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        Key 8 months ago

        Hello reader, I am having an huge problem and need advise. Please help... 

        I have a 6 year old daughter. She has been doing odd things, well things I find odd. The 3 things are described in this paragraph. #1)For months now she has been taking the clothes off her Barbie dolls. I would repeatedly ask her not to do that but she continued to undress them. I decided to google it to see if I was overreacting. Seems I may have been due to threads of other parents stating its normal. #2)Just last friday I was looking at her gallary on her tablet. I found a recording of her rubbing on herself and taking her clothes off. She then started to pertain to hump something while talking(couldn't completely understand what she was saying) she did that for a while then made a sound like orgasm. Then she fell over and laid down for a few seconds and then put back on her clothes. I was stunned. I asked her about the video and she beings to cry claiming she doesn't know shes just like that. So contacted her doctor that night and on monday I plan to have her evaluated. #3) Okay so today I walk into her room and she had ken and barbie in bed with ken on top. The dolls were fully clothed. I asked her why is her dolls like this and she starts to cry saying ken trying to get the good things out of barbie. I asked, what are the good things? She said a glow stick. I asked, why would he have to be on top? Her response, how else do you get it out? I asked her, has anyone do this to you? She said no. I asked has she seen this before she says she can't remember. 

        My issue is I do not know if I am overreacting or is she showing signs of being molested. For 3 months she has been only around me mainly. I am single and not dating (we live alone). We don't have cable but we do watch movies sometimes. Before summer vacation the following people kept her: school, my dad, her aunt(16years old and her boyfriend stays at her house), her grandmother and her great grandmother, her dad. 

        The thought of my baby being used or exposed to sex is so upsetting. I just lay in my room and cry. I'm her mother, her only parent and as her parent my main job was to protect her and I feel like I failed her. I need to know the truth but she doesn't trust me, even after I told her if it did happen its not her fault. 

        Your personal opinion am I overreacting or are these signs?

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        Anonymous 8 months ago

        My girlfriend's 11 yr old son and 7yr old daughter, wait till we fall asleep and then they start touching each other. She doesn't believe me and it really is destroying me inside. I wish she would believe me but Everytime I hear them moving around I let her know but they outsmart her completely. Sadly, I feel hopeless and considering leaving this family for good. What do I do

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        8 months ago

        @ VON if it were my daughter I would do whatever I had to to make sure that she didnt have to go to her dads anymore!!!! Take her to the doc to make sure she wasnt molested. Take her to counseling to help with the trauma. Get a lawyer.

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        Law Cooper 8 months ago

        A.P.S. and C.P.S. will not help you well this A.P.S. social worker told me that wasn't going to help me and there I was in bad predicament so don't think Diane that they'll help you cause they don't

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        .... 8 months ago

        Please believe your children if they say they were touched.

        I was molested as a child and my mother didnt believe me.

        My 4 year old just told me my bf of a year and a half pulled down her pants and spit on her. That is absolutely nasty unforgivable.

        I wanted him to confess though I believed her so I told him if it was a honest mistake and he thought it was me tell me. Ugh he said it was a mistake he thought it was me.

        I broke up with him and kicked him out.

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        Erica 8 months ago

        A psychological distrubed discriminating police officer in S.E. D.C. is a retaliation officer and is one of many who has not been caught yet! This black officer retaliated on me for some one i complained about and for me complaining about some other stuff or whatever and had some teachers and kids at a D.C. school and some outside neighborhood folks ...etc. bullying my little girl calling her a boy in a dress and i a man when we are not! People were verbally abusing us, had gaslighted and etc. Us off and on for a couple of years because of this policeman and recently, since 2016 after we were forced back into D.C. from L.A. because of lack of funds they have been trying to pedifile her with lesbian and gay activity words, when she is not and threats were made towards us and stuff for us to not tell on them to his superiors...the police guy bragged around me a couple of times saying he wants me to go crazy so i can go to a mental ward. So he has been using my daughter to hurt me by him having some women messing around with my little girl and sexually harrasing her and having some other MPD police guys slandering us to's even deeper than this of what i have mentioned here! This is morally wrong and victimization and the injustice of life! I am sound minded and this officer needs prayer, we all do! My daughter and i needs a hero to survive this officers personal retribution ...I plead the blood of Jesus over my daughter and i...I hope you all gets justice too! U.S.A.

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        Von 8 months ago

        My daughter is 3 and she asked her brother can she see his wee wee. When it came to my attention from him telling me what she asked i asked her questions. I asked who showed you their wee wee at your dad house? She had fear in her eyes and started crying so i comforted her and asked the same question then she say no i ask why she tells me that mommy is gonna get beat up so im real concern now so i asked her again she tells me dadfy told me to touch his wee wee. Im pissed to the max. What should i do? Help me

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        Scared confused 9 months ago

        My sister and niece spent the night since yesterday my niece dad got out yesterday he's crazy in the head I know for sure my sister just wants peace with her daughter and father but after today my niece came back told me her private hurt

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        Angel 9 months ago

        When my daughter sits on her Dads lap I will glance over and she keeps trying to pull his hand toward her crotch and he will pull away. One time he was laying down on the ground and she ran ovwr and sat on his hand and he pulled it away. She neved does this with me what do you l think?

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        Mary 9 months ago

        My 2 yr old granddaughter started about 3 wks ago covering her eyes when changing her diaper. Should I be concerned about this?

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        Becky 9 months ago

        I feel a little afraid. My daughter's father always likes to shower with her and I caught him exposing himself to her when he thought I was out smoking a cigarette. He seems so offended but I'm no fool. Don't know how to catch him

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        Robyn 9 months ago

        Can I also add that they may not be afraid of the perpetrator because the touching can be pleasurable and gives them the warm fuzzies - sadly!

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        Diane 9 months ago

        I hope someone replies back to me. I'm in the middle between my husband and my daughter. My husband is being investigated because my daughter said she had sex with him. He says she's lying. She told the children services and the investigators everything in detail. I believed it then I don't then I do I'm just confused. The investigators said it will take 45 to 60 days. Now they're saying they need more time. Around the 60th day my daughter said her half-brother and her cousin raped her which is another case. My husband did refuse to take a lie detector test. Please tell me what I should do or think or what I'm really getting sick over this.

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        Julie Clarity 9 months ago

        I showed signs of molestation. My godfather helped himself to my body from ages 0-60 mos. I must have done something to give it away, and person who was my father decided to not pursue the avenue of getting me help. He used it, instead, as a was to try and groom me for when he was interested in me, sexually, as a teenager. So, there is no way I would have told my mother, if she even noticed, when he was around.

        I also knew sex was a secret kept between mommies and daddies, so I may not have told her, either, due to the fear of getting beat, again.

        It is a heavy burden for a tot to carry, and it has taken me forty-five years to actually come to a place I am willing to remember what happened and attempt to heal.

        If anyone is standing by while a child is being molested, we do remember. Oh yes, we do remember.

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        No Name 9 months ago

        I found out my 4 year old has been molested since the age of two by her 2 older cousins. Im noticing alot of the symptoms i have been reading online. I understand my baby and I want to help her. If anyone has any info what i can do please please respond i want mt daughter to grow up happy with a healthy mentality. PLEASE I NEED RESOURCES. Does counseling help or will it make it worse for her?

        Her cousins are 11 and 9

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        Mackenzie 9 months ago

        My child has been saying all those things I talked to my boyfriend/her stepdad had he said he did do things to her I broke up with him right after and kicked him out

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        Arielle 9 months ago

        These are all signs and things to watch for. Thank you for sharing.

        This is a problem that we don't discuss enough and it's everywhere.

        My heart goes out to ALL of you who have experienced something like this or are caring for someone who has experienced this.

        I have no words.

        Except that offenders are never 'cured'. Research shows this. They are broken. They deserve NO mercy. NO understanding and NO sympathy.

        And, they will stop at nothing to get what they want. Thousands upon thousands have gone to 'treatment' and have professed to be 'cured' only to offend again. In fact, they get smarter and better at it.

        The only thing we can do is to make our children our priority. Nothing is more important than their safety.

        If you see a red flag, don't stop to wonder why, remove that person from your life. Period.

        These sweet, innocent children need our protection and support above all else.

        Unfortunately, the prosecutorial process is broken and returns few results. You need to rely on yourself to keep your child protected.

        @Jamie, get a life. Only a narcissistic ego-maniac who is bent on criticizing others to make himself/herself look and feel smarter would be unable to see beyond the grammar to the real message here.

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        Marlene sutherin 9 months ago

        I have more of a question, my sister has recently gotten custody of her four year old daughter,my sister came by with her for the first time in 3 years, my 16 year old daughter orabelle was playing Barbie dolls with her, orabelle my daughter wanted o draw her, she freaked out screaming didn't want daughter to draw her at all. Then orabelle my daughter said ok let's take picture of you and again this little girl freaked completely, I don't know why this little girl is so afraid of pictures of herself or drawing of herself, like I've. Said have not seen her since 3 years ago. Maybe someone may shine light to hats wrong here. Thanks

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        Anonymous 9 months ago

        There is a very close acquaintance that I am involved with and they have a 6 year old daughter. She is very spoiled ( which most children are these days), but will throw a terrible tantrum if she doesn't get her way. There have been times she she has trouble pooping, she has gone for days and when she finally goes, it is painful for her. She is always acting out for attention. She is 6 years old and still acts like a baby, sometimes she has a pacifier and sometimes ..even drinks from a baby bottle. She has a babydoll that she carries around in a "real" car seat and refers to her as her baby sister. She wants "real" things for this babydoll, like a new car seat, stroller,, etc. But the most bizarre thing that has me troubled is, just this past weekend she went and got up in her 15 year old sister's lap, like she was going to cuddle with her and then she peed on her sister, on purpose, and then thought it was funny. I am extremely troubled by how she is allowed to act, especially after this past incident. I am not sure if any of this means anything or not, I just know I would never allow my child to behave in this way, and I know it is not my place but there is something going on with this child. I do not know if it's any type of abuse or what....just wondering if anyone has any ideas/comments. Thank you

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        Hmm 9 months ago

        I can totally relate to all of this, I was molested from the age of 6 to age 9 in a half, I was too afraid to tell anyone because I was told that I would get into trouble and that he would kill my family. I'm 21 years old now and it all still relays in my head from time to time, I even harmed myself because of it and wished that it never happened, I hated playing hide and go seek in the dark with him because he'd always find me and do what he wanted, he even covered my mouth so that my screams couldn't carry throughout the house and I just hate him so much for screwing up my life and having me to hate my own life

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        jamie 10 months ago

        It would be so much easier to read and believe if the author could actually write with good grammar. I don't trust anyone with missing grammar abilities or teeth. Usually they're existing simultaniously... lacking grammar and teeth I mean...

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        Disturbed 10 months ago

        To the grandma who's grandson is clearly crying out for help and saying your husband is hurting him and even telling you how.. I left this alone for a couple of days but I am sick in my soul and spirit. How dare you not protect that baby... you should be ashamed of yourself and your just as wrong as your sick husband if you don't do something and get him out of harms way. Anyone who knows of their child or grandchild crying out for help and does nothing is JUST AS GUILTY. I could be sick that more common sense isn't with a bunch of you people.

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        Maddie 10 months ago

        My daughter had all these signs now she is an adult and will not do anything and he has probably touched hundred other kids

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        Samantha Jones 10 months ago

        When I was 12, my mom would go to school. My dad would ask me to make him some coffee. I would take it to him and he would have me sit in his lap with no panties on. He dipped me back on the bed and try to insert his fingers into my private. I told my brother. My brother told me to tell Mom and I did . When dad was confronted by officials , he denied it. The officials believed him. Now that I'm grown, he says that I'm a liar and me and my siblings did him wrong. My mom is still married to that monster and when I go to see her, he's always in my face or he jumps into the conversation that I'm having with Mom. Everytime I bring a female friend to see mom, he tries to get in her face and in her private life and I end up losing a friend.

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        Lamees Tayyib 10 months ago

        If you think your child is being molested by someone, keep them safe and get them away from that person. Limit all access to them! Divorce if you have to or send the kid away to live with someone you trust like your mother until you can finalize the divorce. Please, please, please always trust your kids, kids don't /have/ sexual imaginations unless they've been sexually abused or exploited somehow (yes, even being exposed to porn is a form of sexual abuse and is often done by abusers to groom them into acting like porn stars who, as we know, are forced to engage in often incredibly painful and unnatural acts).

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        Saving Grace 10 months ago

        I've read some of the comments below. Please never give up! If something is being done to you, or you have a thought/feeling about someone you can't shake, pursue action. It is NEVER OK for anyone to touch you without your permission. YOU are in charge of your body. It is your temple. You tell everyone, and keep telling people. Someone will listen. And when you tell someone, you need to give them details. Details alert adults that something isn't right. Please don't be quiet about this, be LOUD! I will pray for all of you.

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        Belinda 10 months ago


        Believe your child. Kids don't know how to make things up like that. If they are saying something to you believe it. Make a journal and write down what she said, when she said it and signs or symptoms. Take her to her primary to let doctor know that way doctor has record of it also. Do it asap. Don't procrastinate.

        God bless,


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        Concerned sister 10 months ago

        My 7 year old sister doesn't like to be washed ' down there ' and I have a feeling that she may have been molested. Some of the signs add up to her behavior.

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        Anonymous 10 months ago

        Im concerned that my 7yr old niece is being molested by her father. What do i do?

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        Aaliyah Turner 10 months ago

        I have distant memories that I'd like to put behind me if when I was a little girl and was molested by my older cousin. He was twice my age. I remember running down the stairs to my mom and him chasing me and her thinking we must have been playing a game. We weren't, I was running. No one ever seemed to notice what he was doing to me. My younger cousin who was also touched inappropriately would watch him touch me and say nothing. He wouldn't laugh at me as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. I remember when I wasn't watching tv and my big cousin walked in (James) he pulled down my pants and kept touching me and told me how beautiful I was. I started crying and my little cousin walked in. He watched as James touched me, he laughed in despite of me as I cried my eyes out begging for help. The worst part was my family was in the living room watching football. If I had been a little louder, if maybe they turned down the tv, or if maybe cousin simply ran out and told for me, but he didn't. I finally go the courage after he touched me and ran into the living room answering told my mom that James pulled down my pants and touched me. NO ONE DID ANYTHING! I finally had gotten the courage but no one helped me. That is probably why I took so long to tell anyone. One day after James had seriously touched me I was pretty sore. I got curious, if my cousin loves me,if he knows what was happening why did he not say anything? What didn't gen let that happen? I asked my cousin, "Landon has James ever touched you inappropriately?" He tells me that " one time James made me pull down his pants and suck his weiner" He then laughed uncontrollably. I started crying and told him that it wasn't ok what James had done to him. I wasn't sick. It was wrong what Hames hadn't done to me, but gen had hurt my family and I was determined to make it noticed. I ran and told my dad and then ran all the way to my aunts house to tell her what happened. DHS came to his house but I still didn't say anything about me. One day at school we were being lectured about being safe for Halloween and staying with our parents and then our library teacher said something about being touched badly and that's you should tell someone. I felt terrible. I went to my classroom and started crying and tried to slit my wrists in class I was whispering over and over that hated my life and that I wanted to die. A child's grabbed my wrist and carried me to my teacher I then told her what happened to me. I didn't care if i lived or died, I just wanted it to be over. I felt dirty and disgusting. My teacher sent me to my counselor who called my mom. My mom came and my counselor told her what happened my mom checked me out and cried. DHS go to involved. I thought maybe, just maybe they could help me so I relived the horror and told them. But they didn't. They didn't not help me they made me feel as though I messed up. That's maybe if in told someone sooner that they could have done something. I still go to the house it happens to me in, I still see my attacker and I even have to see him when I get dinner. I am supposed to "get over" what's he did. I hate him I want him to burn. I am only 11 years old. Only 5 years have passed since he touched me. That sounds just all I remember gen could have touched me when I was a toddler or baby. I feel sick everyday I see James. I am still resentful am dead maybe even hateful to my little cousin who didn't nothing for me. Please if you have a hunch that someone's being sexually abused, tell someone. I know I wish someone would have told for me, I might have been spared all this pain and hatred.

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        Concerned Stepmom 10 months ago

        Hi , i am in situation my husband's daughter came in to his life after not seeing her since she was one . They only been in touch for 5 months so we went and picked her up... She has been here for a week they always hugging , sitting on the couch cuddle up together . He watchs her when she gets up walks away watchs her stretch and pull her shorts down while he sitts there beside her ...I feel uncomfortable for some reason

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        Becky 11 months ago

        My 2 year old daughter started saying my dad hurts my butt I am not sure if I should be worried or pass it over. I asked my husband and he says he would never do anything to her. But I don't want to ignore her comments I tried to get details and she is unable to explain. She just repeats it. She doesn't act any different with her dad but sometimes she cries and says her butt hurts. I never question it because she is usually constipated and has trouble having bowel movement.what should I do I want to take her to be exam but what if it's nothing please advice

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        Auntie 11 months ago

        My nieces father recently told my husband that he saw his own father rushing to put my baby nieces diaper back on when the father walked in the room. I have also noticed my niece beginning to take her diaper off and touching her private and rubbing it on the ground. She has also gone into tantrums where she hits herself in the head and pulls her hair and screams uncontrollably when her mom doesn't pay attention. It's been scary. I found my sisters phone where she has texted the grandfather calling him a disgusting person who deserves to die and all that. So who do I go to report this to if my sister, my nieces mom, doesn't want to come forward. My niece is two years on June 25th 2017

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        Nobody 11 months ago

        My older sister who is 17 years old had wrote in a notebook that she was abused by my parents and I don't know what I should believe. I read this while ago and have never talked to anyone about it because I don't know if it's true or who to tell.

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        concerned gmom 11 months ago

        I am a very concerned grandmother of a precious 3 year old grandson. Here lately when my grandson is visiting which is often, I have noticed what I believe to be very unusual behavior, for instance,he will quietly sneek behind my back and lift up my shirt, carass my back and put his hand down my pants. He goes under a blanket and ask me to go under with him and he will start lifting up my shirt and try to get to my butt as he says. sometimes under the covers he says" lets close our eyes and go to sleep" and then he starts with the carassing again when he sees my eyes are closed. I noticed thisd probably about a year or so ago in the living room and I mentioned to my daughter and she said he does it to her to but it was thought of innocence and not taking seriously because of his age. I did feel very uncomfortable with it. since then he has done it on occasions which is very uncomfortable but here more recent, my daugther and her soon to be ex-husband are living separately and the behavior has become more apparent to the point I have sat her down and asked her if her husband had watched porn with him in the room at any time and she says "he woudn't do that" I dont want to feel this way at all but its all very uncomfortable. anyway, my husband and I have had a huge part in raising my grandson since he was born they have lived with us on two occasions for months at a time and so I have unfortunately seen behavior from my son-in-law that was not acceptable like one time when my son-in-law and my grandson were home I was in the living room along with him and my son-in-law- asked my grandson probably about 10 times "can I have a hug, can I have a hug" I thought that was odd to repeat that it gave me a weird feeling. anyway, back to more recent my husband and I are separated but my husband and I are very cordial and our grandson is a very important part of our lives. My husband lives in maryland and our grandson visits him and help care for him when my daughter needs him. without telling my husband wthat I had confronted my daugther cuple days prior to the behavior my grandson has been displaying , I get a text from my husband out of the blue (my grandson is visiting him at this time)that says " has _____ ever asked you to go under the covers lift your shirt up and tried to take your pants off'? Well that REALLY struck me odd because I did not tell my husband of what I talked with my daughter about. I immediately text my daugther and told her to call me ASAP i had to talk. When I told her what happened she said that her soon to be ex-husband would do that. The next day when I went to pick up my grandson at my husbands house we were in the family room with my grandson talking and there was a comforter out and he puts the comforter over my husband tells him lets close our eyes and go to sleep. Then he makes his way down my husbands back, my husband said he feels like hes licking my back, then said hes trying to bite me. Sure enough my husband cries out from the pain of biting and throws the covers back and he has a red mark on his back. As we are there and chatting my grandson is playing with his toys we are just sitting and talking and I amy on the floor talking, watching tv, wtc. and my grandsond get the blanket again starts doing the pulling of the shirt up and carassing and then he says "grandpa, come here" I told my husband to see what hes going to do. I told him I know its uncomfortable, but lets see whats he does. He whispers to my husband, "lets creep up on her" then whsipers "lets take off her pants" then says, "take off her clothes" then because I have jeans on he says "its hard" (taking down my pants) then he rolls me over and tries to unzip me and although this was very uncomfortable and couldn't been seen because they were under the covers, I had my husband video tape it from my phone. its was VERY disturbing to say the least and it seemed my grandson knew exactly what he was doing. I am one to not start trouble or drama as a matter of fact, I hate confrontation and dont like situtations one bit. but when some thing arises I confront it and of course made to think I am the crazy one. anyway, I really dont want to believe my son in law is doing anythng but I do know that he has watched porn and he, when my daughter and he were together, has badgered her into doing sexual acts with others while he watched beside having a temper problems, uses drugs and has been on a mood disorder med. that would make me feel that he may not be physically abusing my grandson, he or someone has taught my grandson how to behave this way. Please tell me that mine and my husbands instincts are incorrect and I will drop the whole matter. Im sick to the point of nausea and feel like if I call authorities nothing can be proven. besides the fact that my other daugther out of the blue said "mom, did I tell you what _____did. I said "what" she said they were sitting on the couch the other day and my grandson siad, lets get under the covers and close our eyes and fall asleep" he then started to carass her butt and she said it was very uncomfortable. My son also stated that my grnadson was playing cops with him and put my sons hands behind his back put him on the floor. My son was just telling me this but I was taking it all in consideration cause my son does not know whats going on. please, please tell me I have no worries

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        Sabs 12 months ago

        Wish this world can change for the better

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        She 14 months ago

        I really appreciate this article. Thank you for the information. However, I would like it if people would take you more seriously.

        Wrongfull should be wrongful.

        There (in many cases) should be their.

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        Candy 14 months ago

        My 8 year old granddaughter has complained to her teacher that her mothers boyfriend walks in on her while she's trying to dress. She expressed that nothing happened but she said that he made her feel like something was going to happen. CPS has been involved and my daughter has been ordered to keep her boyfriend out permanently or charges will be brought against her. However, she continues to see her boyfriend outside the house and I'm afraid that she will take a chance and bring him in. This man has psychiatric medical records along with substance abuse. What to do?

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        Lenora 15 months ago

        My 3 yr old told me on Dec 16, 2016 while putting up the Xmas tree "Papa put his butt in me. He pulled off his underwear parted his legs came to an erection, open his butt and said Papa put it right here. Every day since that day he's told me the same thing. He told my husband to face, and when my husband said no he did not. My grandson yelled "yes you did". I too went through calling child protective services, because they had one interview with. He wouldn't open up. Now I'm taking the child to therapy. I don't allow my husband to touch when he comes around. He keep saying he would never harm the baby. Now my grandson will not sleep n his bedroom sometimes because he's afraid.

        What can you do?

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        Ashamed of myself 15 months ago

        I'm 16 when I was 11 I was repeatedly molested by my mom boyfriend I always told me mom but she never believed he gets me everything I want & he told me I couldn't tell nobody but I did told my friends & my mom is still with him

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        Tiffany 15 months ago

        I'm under the impression my child is being molested my her father . She is almost three but because of her age the court does not take it serious. She says to me her dad sticks his finger in her booty hole with out me asking. I tell her to tell teachers becuz I have personally have already dealt with dcp&p in which they are no help. He has court visitation so I can't do anything about visitation. I am very helpless. My child goes to a therapist but still nothing since it's not constant becuz of visitation schedules. Any one have any further advice to keep my daughter safe?

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        Lyn 4 years ago

        My 5 year old is very curious about sexting (sex). He sometimes kissing little girls & a friend mine. I tell him repeated. I also noticed he always takes off his clothes & has been touching himself daily. When he was 3 he bent over in front of a guy friend & said look a hole, then touched his but. A couple of months ago he attempted to put a littleness lego guy keychain in his butt & was open about it. Most recently he undressed & had his 4yo stepbrother checking at his wee-wee. When asked about eating to shedt

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        HeadOn 5 years ago

        Only I and my brother know the truth. I'm an adult now and have never told my family. We are not on talking terms and my abuser has vanished from my life. My brother has since passed away yrs ago leaving me alone to fight this demon. I'm a single father now and need to be strong. I thought I had suppresed it but a month ago my 88yr old grandmother was raped by an intruder. It feels like everything has broken loose and I have no one to talk to. I have been forced to face this demon head on and could use a friend to help defeat it, unfortunately because of my emotional fatigue I may have pushed my only friend away that could have helped me. I need to stay strong for my childrens sake but I have gotten very little sleep since my grandmothers incident several weeks ago. I'm facing this issue on my own and pray to God that I'm strong enough to overcome it.

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        anon 5 years ago

        My husband and I are both survivors of child abuse. He was molested by his half-sister and I was taken advantage of by an older neighbourhood playmate. Because of this, we both have a lot of issues dealing with our feelings, self-image and our sexuality. These incidents affect both of us, almost every day, particularly in the way we deal with other people.

        He is the first person I've told about my incident with the neighbour, except for my mother (whom I told the day it happened and she chose to never do anything about it, never even told my father). He alone has helped me open up about it, and become a stronger person, because his wonderful family helped him to deal with his issue (and thankfully the person who hurt him is no longer a part of their lives).

        Please, if you feel that a child you know and love is being abused, contact the authorities. Tell somebody. To this day I have a rocky relationship with my alcoholic mother (herself abused as a child by her brothers) because I blamed her for what happened to me.

        Without my amazing partner I believe I would still be unable to deal with this issue. Talking with someone who understands and has been through a similar time helped me SOOO much. Everybody deserves to be happy and SAFE!!!!

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        Alliebaby1974 5 years ago

        Hi .

        My mother & I are like best friends . We tell each other everything . We always have deep conversations about are past . She's makes me a strong young 16 year old girl . We have been threw A lot . She was raped since she was little until around 7 years ago .

        A lot of multiple thing has happened to her . & she knows I was molested by one of my dads friends that he raised .

        My dad molested his other daughters , family , raped my mom in front of me & my brother many times .

        He molested me too , I didn't start remember him doing it until around 2years ago . Is that normal ?

        I just always had flash backs about the son doing things to me . I was only around 6 . But after I started seeing my dad doing it to me . I would rememeber wakeing up in the mornings wet , not knowing what it was , but now I do . I would wake up in the middle of what he was doing to me , but to embarrassed to face him after , it would be so hard to look at him cause how awkward it would be . I always pretended to be waking up so just maybe he would stop , hoping . But he never did stop .

        My mom knows that I lost my virginity to a boy that I went out with for 2 years . I'm not a girl that trusts anybody . Not friends family anybody . But I trusted him a lot , I'm in secure with my body , I hate people touching me on my legs , waist , anywhere . I have problems with that , I see things so differently from people . I don't like when guys hit on me , I'm not gonna lie a lot of guys want me , I have a figure , I've always had I guess since that happened to me since I was little . I have eyes that everyone wants , lol i don't wanna sound conceited but yeah I'm just good looking from what everyone says. But not in my eyes . I don't think so at all . But sometimes i wished i was able to trust people easilier . My friends always ask but i never really tell . Only sometimes .

        People think I'm a hoe just cause I get a lot of guys but people don't know that I ignore them or I pretend to not understand or something lol .

        When I lost my virginity my cherry never popped , I never told my mom that I never got to experience that cause I'm guessing there the ones that popped it , which is sad cause I think that's something special . But when I told her she started questioning , she knew about the son doing that to me , he was like my best friend though I don't get it . Then I I said well it wasn't only him . & she automatically knew it was my dad . She wants me to be in councilong now .

        She doesn't wan me to turn up like her . She's recently got out of rehab , & got all four of her kids back . I got tooken away & was forced to stay at my aunt & uncles which they assume I'm a whore , just cause they knew what happened to me when I was little & thought j just wanted to have sex all the time cause that's How Usually girls turn out when they get molested , which not all gurls turn Out like that . My mom has always hated them cause my uncle always touched me in weird places , never let me even be seen by a guy , never let me leave his side , said unneccessary comments about my big ass or boobs . And my aunt , she's always hated me . I have no idea why but we could never stand in one room alone together .

        I hate my dad with a passion , I could barely here someone say his name . I haven't talked to him for years.

        I have many friends who has been raped , abused . & just hurt by there own fathers . I don't get it . How could someone just do that ?

        I have been threw much more , but I'm reading threw all these comments & it breaks my heart but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this .

        That there other girls that has to live with something inside that'll always be there , with the fear of guys , or of someone that will scare you for life again .

        But I'm not gonna lie , that's one of the things that has made me such a strong young girl . I don't show my feelings in front of people . I NEVER let people see my cry , or hurt . My mom has taught me the best , since we both went threw the same thing , we understand each other even more .

        I'm thankful for that . I don't know of I would be the same young lady I am today if this has never happened to me .

        But Girls stay strong no matter what . God bless you guys . It's always easy to just smile .

        Smile now , cry later

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        GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

        Concerned: I think what needs to be done is this. You have two choices on what you can do here. You can wait for the child to come back from the moms house, see if she complains about it hurting down there and see if she says who did it again. If she complains when she first gets home do not bath her or change her clothes also if they don't want her clothes that they bring back home with her don't wash any of those either, what I want you to do is if she comes home and complains take her right to the police station, have her real father go as well, let him tell her it's ok to talk to the police they are her friends and it's ok to tell them who touched her, also when you go take any dirty underwear from there house with you as evidence, some police stations have a table with a scanner that they have a person squat on and it scans the private area and can show if something happened, have her father press charges. or you can get the hospital paper work see what it says if it says anything about being touched down below then her father can take that to the courthouse and file an emergency custody order and an order of protection against the mom and boyfriend and in it he needs to explain why and he needs to put on it that the hospital says she has been touched and she is saying it's moms boyfriend whatever his name is, you should put being molested, and it will ask if harm is being caused and you put yes private area bleeding and raw and child is scared and whatever else is going on with her. It will probably ask about CPS and you explain that circumstances as well on what happened there, that the child is afraid to talk to strangers, now remember she is with her mom right now so her boyfriend and mom are going to put fear into her and tell her not to say anything, keep log of all of this stuff what you posted here, reported, time and what she is saying to you. Whatever you do don't give up, keep bringing it to court, also you can audio and video what she is saying to you and also if she is showing unusual behavior like touhing herself, etc. You will win and get her away from this jerk just keep fighting for her and don't give up and have her dad go to these places as well, he needs to. Let me know how it goes and I'm so sorry that this little girl has to go through this crap. Why people feel they can do this I'll never understand there sick ass behavior.

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        concerned 6 years ago

        well I ended up taking her down to the ER and she told them what she had said to me. they got in contact with CPS and we met with them they took her into a room by herself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches" she said no so now CPS says they cant do anything without her disclosing the information in a room by herself and she cant be checked by a specialist unless CPS calls them and tell them because it is too traumatizing (like being molested is a fun day in the park for her) and since she told me this i have been researching online and she has many symptoms of being molested lately and when i talked to her by myself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches?" she told me yes so when i asked her why didn't she tell the lady that she told me she didn't know she was allowed to which leads me to believe this man is telling her not to tell anyone. so now she is at her mothers house where this man is and when we talked with CPS they said this man was to not be around the children until the investigation is over so we told her mother that and the following day she is telling us CPS told her is allowed around the children. i feel so helpless and CPS is doing nothing !

      • GlstngRosePetals profile image

        GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

        Concerned: If I were you I would have her dad take her to the police department and File charges against that creep. Let her dad explain what has been going on and they will check the child out they have ways of doing this. The police will question her as well. I wouldn't allow her to go back to her moms and her dad should file with the courts for full rights and he should tell the courts she is an unstable mom having men come in and out of her home and putting his daughter as risk of being molested. CPS sometimes doesn't do crap to help definitely take her to a specialist and if they say yes her hymen has been broken and there are problemes down there get to the police station immediately and file charges and don't allow her back at that home. I think what your doing so far is good your taking the appropriate steps. Let me know how it goes.

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        concerned 6 years ago

        i have a 4 year old stepdaughter who is only here every other weekend. Over this past weekend I was bathing her and she didn't want to open her legs for me to wash her then I began to explain to her I have to clean her ( 2 weeks prior she had complained about pain while using the bathroom ) that way it didn't hurt anymore because she had just been treated for a UTI. I finally get her to let me wash her and she cringed in paint when I did. Then she began to tell me her moms boyfriend checks her to see if there is toilet paper in there and I asked her does it hurt when he checks you and she said yes sometimes and sometimes he makes me bleed. so that threw up a red flag to me so I called her dad at work told him and he told me to take her to the ER to have her checked. I took her and there was nothing they could do at the moment since she hadn't been with the boyfriend in the past day. so they reported it to CPS and an investigation will be done. I had her father call her mother that night and let her know what was going on and she said its ridiculous that this is turning into this big of a deal and its embarrassing that CPS needs to come investigate her home. Is that a normal behavior? Also my step daughter HATES her moms boyfriend and never in the past has she hated any of her moms boyfriend (in the past 2 years there has been maybe 6 different men) Also now she has wet herself 4 times in the past 2 days (3 times at night and 1 during the day) and she has not had an accident in the past year maybe year and a half.. I am going to take her to get her checked by a specialist hopefully they can get her in today because in there custody agreement she goes to her mothers house this afternoon and my fear is if this is happening how do we let her go back into that house?

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        achenheart16 6 years ago

        its kinda hard to just say this but as a new member i see many people been in my spot as a mother with a achen heart my life change from sweet happyness to broken pain on Nov.13,2011 i f#cking hate nasty people like Roy Alvarado thanks to him my daughter can't sleep she cant behave and she says nasty words this grown ass man raped my daughter while i was outside with my boyfriend not t make me sound like a bad parent but she was asleep it happened at midnight not only did i just leave her in the room i asumed she be okay at the time i lived with my boyfriend and well we lived with his grandmother i just love how his people seemed to be nice people i didn't ever think my boyfriends family would do harm my child was raped by his oldest cousin while we were outside hanging out thinking nothing like this would ever happen ESPECIALLY ME ;{ ... then all of a sudden i could hear screaming but the first few times i ignored it then i heard a closer so i told my boyfriend i think baby is up so as soon as i got to the front door there was my daughter standing there looking the other way in a historical way i was blank minded you no until i noticed her diaper was halfway off n she was pooped so i took her to the bathroom and that's when i just went from blank to PHYSCO UNFURIATED HURT SAD I knew right there and then she was raped she had blood coming from her private i screamed for my boyfriend and he flipped out i told em what i saw and he was without words i went back to the room washed her off and immidetially called my parents to pick her up my daughter seemed calm she wasn't even crying i was she just kept asking me why you crying mommie what's wrong don't cry shes only two years old why in gods world would anybody do such a thing to a helpless child who cant and don't understand what's being done to them seriously ???? after i made the phone call my parents i ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and went to look for the bastard who did this to my child unfortunely he left before i seen what was done to my child he smelled like poop and look like he was afraid so he said he was gonna go casino .. honestly i noticed he changed his shirt and all of a sudden needed perfume for himself ... he left blood n poop stains with his hand prints on the wall leading from the room my daughter was to the living room and as i started putting the puzzle together i noticed a lot sh#t my boyfriend till this day is indinial i believe its cause it was his cousin and his cousin has kids who i assume he to has touched but they wouldn't ever no .. it kills me idk how to live if all i do is cry and take it out on myself now ya no as well feels good to let it out i just wish it never happened in the first place cause honestly the bastard never got told on i was threaten by him so im scared to tell and at the time i was scared to inform the cops ;"("""""" F##K YOU ROY you nasty fuck !!! idk how you csn live with yourself i hope you burn in hell ... cause and one day ill soon forgive you because that's what my god would want me to do but im broken and unhealed so till then i cant !!

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        GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

        lilbuggirl: Hi I think you should tell your mom the truth about what happened to you. It might make you feel better and lift the weight off of your chest that you've been carrying around for so many years. I'm glad he was convicted but he should serve more time for what he has done to you as well. I think you should get into counseling to help with trust issues and to also help you through this. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you get counseling and let your mom know that it happened to you as well.

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        lilbiggurl 6 years ago

        I am sixteen years old. When I was six or seven, I was sexually abused. I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't realize what was going on at the time.I was just scared. Up until not too long ago, I had thought my experience something of the past. I recently started a psych class, and in it I started to recognize some of the behavioural traits in myself.As I learn more I come to realize just how much this has affected me, and how keeping it inside for so long affects me even still now. He was my babysitter. He had a girlfriend too, lived with him. They were drunks. I remember hearing my mom talk about it. I always saw beer around their house, I thought it couldve been pop. I only remember it happening once, but I think it happened a lot more than that. I have blocked out ( the term is repression ) almost the entire thing except for a few minutes, the way he did felt like I was in first. he somehow got me sitting on his lap. I remember his girlfriend up in the shower. He asked me if it was okay and he put his hand down my pants...after a few minutes I heard his girlfriend coming down the stairs and got terrified. I remember saying I had to go and running from the house. I don't know if she knew or not. The last thing I remember is walking the street alone thinking I would never tell anyone. I didn't know what was gong on, or why I was so scared. I don't remember anything for the rest of that day, where I went after, what I did. I had to go back. I begged and pleaded my mother please don't make me go back there. Time and time again I went back. I was terrified. I found out he had been doing it to other girls in the neighbourhood when he got convicted. I remember the first thing my mom saying, if he did that to my girl she wouldve told me, then look at me and ask, right? Ive always agreed. even if the story should come up in passing she always brings that up. its like subconciously, she knows. i have never been one to want attention drawn on myself, and at this some ten years later, I don't know what telling anyone would do. but any idea how to conquer the trust issues, the mood swings, the non comittal relationships, the self hate? id like to know...thanks

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        gogigirl 6 years ago

        I posted the following a couple of months ago: After reading it again, I left out some key parts:

        What I failed to include is that when one of my sisters approached my dad 30 years ago, it was about fondling her and he didn't remember. Side note: He was an alcoholic. The things mentioned in the dream were all real memories. The only difference was that there was that important detail I talk about. And when mentioning the medication, I think I failed to say that it has been known to enhance memory. Since this post I have confronted my mother and 3 sisters. 2 sisters and mom all confirm sexual abuse. I suppose my question is that is it possible to repress a memory for so long? I cannot talk to my dad about it. He has no recollection of my sisters abuse that she approached him about and vividly remembers. So how and why would he remember anything with me? I'm simply trying to connect many dots! Help would be helpful! Thank you again!

        Hello, I'm going for counseling starting Jan 10 2012. I started taking a med for a sleep disorder. Nuvigil. It stimulates a part of the brain for more waking hours during the day. I don't know if it's the med, but I had a very detailed disturbing dream about my dad. He used to make me sleep with him as a child. I can account for the "breaking of my seal" so I never considered being abused. Well, my mind is flooding with thoughts and memories that could be making sense of my 52 years of life. In the dream, he was using the area between my thighs for friction. What made it more disturbing is that in the dream I could see "it" and "it" was uncircumcised. My dad is uncircumcised. I've talked to only a couple of really close people including my husband, who has been amazing. I have a feeling that I will begin to heal from 52 years of self abuse, anorexia, self loathing and hatred, anger, OCD issues etc. Here is a couple of many problems. I have 3 sisters. One four years older and two, each a year apart, younger than I. Dad was an alcoholic. He is remarried now and this is not a part of his current life. One sister approached him 30 years ago about fondling. I was soo angry with her thinking she was being convinced it happened. I feel so bad now. Should I talk to my sisters? Why drudge it all up with my dad, who I have always had a good relationship with, (or so I thought) and possibly ruin his marriage. I'm certain he hasn't been drunk or alone with any children. I know if I was to say anything to him about any of this, it would crush him as I'm sure he doesn't even know and or remember. You'd have to know him to know this. Is it possible he has suppressed memories? Seriously, after all we've been through in 52 years of life, and now, just now all of a sudden this is all hitting me? I'm excited to heal and move forward......

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        PrplSun 6 years ago

        Confused, I think when it comes to the safety of a child you can never be too sure. You should always question anything you find strange but on the other hand the first impression I got after reading that is she is potty training. 2 is the common age to potty train. With what you have been through it is totally expected for you to derive that meaning from the statement made by your boyfriend but that isn't the only meaning it could have.

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        GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

        victimofchildabuse- I don't think that GOD will punish you, you had no control of what happened to you as a child. If anything GOD is going to punish the one's that hurt you. I wouldn't worry to much if I were you, especially if your happy and safe now. You can always talk to a priest,minister,etc and get there input.

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        GlstngRosePetals 6 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

        Ijustknow32- Good I'm glad he was convicted. I'm glad she in know away from him. I hope you both are getting counseling though to help her and you. I wish the best for you both and hope you both can now heal.

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        Victimofchildabuse 6 years ago

        Will God still punish me for being bisexual even though it was not my fault . For feeling this way after being abused .

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        ijustknow32 6 years ago from Lacombe

        Concerned Aunt as far as your nephews go they are too young to be considered child molesters at that age it is pure curiosity. just let them know that it is inappropriate to touch each others private parts. if the 5 year old is still doing stuff like that when he is 8 or 9 then get him help right away. maybe also ask him if someone has touched him that way. he could be doing what was done to him. my daughter after what was done to her was doing things to kids younger than her and when asked why she said because the kissing monster told her to. (meaning her molester)