We're Always on Call!
Recently, one of my friends told me I was a bum for staying home all day with my daughter and that I didn't have an actual job. It definitely hurt my feelings, but I had to keep in mind that this person doesn't have a kid. They don't understand the importance and the joy that comes from this time.
I used to have a high paying job as a Program Manager and my hours were 7:30 am to 6:00 pm. Even though I'm always on call now, I don't miss my old job.
I wake up when my five-year-old daughter wakes up, which could be anywhere between 6 and 8 am. My mornings are spent making food that doesn't always get eaten, playing with dolls, teaching her to write and read, coloring, watching Paw Patrol, going to the park or zoo trying to make her tired, pushing a swing, climbing on the playground equipment because she wanted me to, taking pictures with different Snapchat filters because she laughs so hard at herself, building forts, singing the alphabet, doing the dishes, and dealing with tantrums because she changed her mind and decided she didn't want broccoli for lunch anymore.
My friend also advised me to nap when she naps. I might have laughed at her a little bit. How many of us were guilty of rolling our eyes when told this bit of information? Also, how many of us hate when non-parents give out parenting advice? We are all a little relieved when our children finally drift off for that glorious hour. Most days, however, their nap time is our catch-up time. We can use that time to fold laundry, clean bathrooms, pick up the Legos scattered all over the living room, etc. But, for the sake of my friend, let's admit that we all have days where dreams really do come true and we are so tired that we just don't care, so we NAP!
I stay up quite a while longer after we exchange goodnights and goodnight kisses. When she goes to bed, that’s my quiet time. That’s my time to wind down. It’s my time to edit pictures that I’ve taken throughout the day, or I take the time to write a little, or to read. I'll scroll through social media and catch up on my shows. I take that time to relax. We are allowed that, right?
I mentioned that I'm always on call because sometimes she has nightmares and I must comfort her at 2 am. Sometimes, she's sick and needs cuddling all night. Sometimes, there are nights where sleep just isn’t in the cards for us.
For all the mom’s that have more than one kid at home, I have no doubt that you spend a lot of your day playing referee!
We Absolutely Love What We Do!
There used to be times when my husband would come home and see the mess and ask things like, “What’s this?” “What have you done all day” “Are you still in your pajamas?” Yes, it is a mess that I’ve already picked up and I’m not picking it up again until she’s gone to bed. I’ve kept her happy. That’s what I’ve done today. Yes, I’m still in my pajamas. These clothes are super comfortable. I don’t need to slip into some jeans every single day. Eventually, he began to understand and he stopped asking questions that would almost offend me.
Trust me, when my daughter wakes up crying at 6 am and she's still whining when daddy is going to work at 7:30, I feel like going to work too! Please understand that stay at home moms chose this life because we love it. Even though there are times when we feel so left out of the adult world and we're crying because our kids are screaming so loud, I promise we love it. My income is hugs and kisses and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Honestly, I truly feel blessed because I am able to stay home with my daughter. My husband is amazing and understands how much this time means to me. She’ll start Kindergarten in the fall and I have no doubt that it’ll be harder for me than her!
I'm not saying I work harder than anyone, rather than, we ALL work hard. I do understand there will always be people who will judge or jump to conclusions about moms who choose to stay home, but I only ask the stay at home moms to remember that you are strong. You are not alone. We have children who look up to us and think we're superheroes. Isn't that all that matters?
I love learning about other parenting styles!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.