My Fears of Being a Good Mother With Anxiety Issues

Updated on August 23, 2017

New Relationship, Baby, Wedding. . . All in 6 Months!

All of a sudden I was crying, curling up into a ball, hyperventilating, and isolating myself from the world when I was not working. I was not capable of taking care of myself, let alone a child. I was taking medications and going to therapy—was this going to be enough to keep me sane enough to deal with the hormones and stress of a newborn?

Well, it was. August 2015, I found out that I was going to be a mother. Can you say shock? Here I am trying to handle life and take care of myself and in the blink of an eye my life changed. This is when I started to realize, I had to get my s**t together. "Dana, pull yourself together! Quit being such a negative Nancy and start being positive Peggy!" And so that is what I did.

Every doctors appointment, I worried about the health of my baby. I was stressed at work, made a huge life change and moved in with my now husband after 3 months of dating, and became a wife 6 months into my new relationship. Although I had no doubts about my husband, I was doubting my abilities as a wife and a mother.

Here I am, relying on medication to keep my sanity as well as therapy just to vent to someone I didn't feel I was going to bother. As months passed by, I realized how much I had accomplished for myself. I was managing my emotions, in a healthy relationship, had a healthy baby inside of me, and stopped working and had time to relax and focus on my child.

April 8, 2016, 1:56pm my life changed forever. My little girl "Baby A" was brought into this world. I finally met the missing piece of my heart and I felt relief. I had successfully kept her safe and healthy for 9 months, and I will continue that on the outside for the rest of my life. At first, the sleepless nights, endless hours of exclusively pumping, doing week after week of homework in online classes, and keeping a house clean while caring for my child, my husband, and myself was stressful.

I got lucky, I have an amazing husband as well as an amazing support system. We soon established a routine and life began to get I thought.

I was still 40 pounds up from my pre-baby weight, barely bringing in an income, dealing with house hunting and our new home for the next 4 years, as well as adjusting to life as a stay at home mother who takes online classes.

All of this in itself was stressful, not Just when you think the hard part of being a mother is over, it is not. Yes, as children get older it is easier to take care of them but at the same time I feel I neglect her more now.

She is much more independent, walking, and can entertain herself. I am home with her 24/7 and yet, as much cleaning and cooking and homework and interacting with my daughter that I do, I still do not feel good enough. Why do other children speak words at this age but my child doesn't? Why do other kids have the patience to sit down and learn and my child doesn't? Was this a reflection on me? As much time as we spend together playing, cuddling, napping, eating, etc. I still feel as if I will not ever be a good enough mother.

Yes, my daughter is healthy and happy and smart and beautiful. She behaves so great when we take her out and she is a social butterfly. So why do I still feel this way? Will it ever go away?

Yes, yes it will. This is my anxiety talking. I over analyze everything and are so hard on myself. When tasks and situations are so simple, I make them difficult. Even though my husband tells me I am still sexy and beautiful after having my daughter, I still hate my body. I love my stretch marks because of their symbolism but I am not a fan of my weight. Again, all of this is my anxiety.

I have a happy and healthy baby, a beautiful house, beautiful family, loving husband, and a great life. So why do I feel like such a bad mother? The answer is because I am a mother who is living with anxiety.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

    © 2017 Dana Abbott


      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      No comments yet.


      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

      Show Details
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)