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Unique, Unusual Baby Names: Whimsical, Wonderful or Just Weird?

Updated on April 20, 2016
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Otherwise titled "What Not to Name Your Baby"

Gosh, I'm a b***h when it comes to baby names. I got the idea for this hub from Syrusv37, a hubber who posted a question on the HubPages Answers page. Normally I'm a polite, noncontroversial, nonconfrontational person, especially here on HubPages. But for some reason, I was pretty harsh with the poor guy. He wanted to know if Kree and Kite were good names for twin babies, with Kree for a girl and Kite for a boy. I told him that I thought those names sounded like he was trying way too hard to be cool and they made me cringe.

Being the sweet little wimp that I am, I felt bad that I had voiced my opinion so harshly. I went to repost something nicer, but it was too late. Hubpages allows each hubber only one answer per question. However, the automated tag telling me I could not post a second answer suggested I write a hub about the subject, so I decided to do just that.

Normally, I pride myself on being a nonjudgmental person. If you want to dye your hair purple or get multiple piercings -- go for it, I say. Are you gay, bi, transgender? None of my business. I could not care less. Are you cheating on your spouse? Are you deep in debt because you've purchased way too many unnecessary luxury items? Ooops -- those are not choices I would make, but hey, you are you and I am me.

So why do I care that a basically anonymous person wants to name his son Kite? For whatever reason, I get judgmental about the names people choose for their children. I'm not normally one to to get a bee in my bonnet about things that do not affect me, but when I hear of someone naming their child a weird or trendy name, I just want to roll my eyes and beg them to stop the madness!

So basically, when it comes to parents naming their children, I get my b***h on and turn into a judgmental, tantrum-throwing brat. I did a quick search of hubs here, and found that there are quite a few about names, including some quite funny ones that critiicize what are deemed "gay" names. I decided that if those hubbers had their little rants, that I too, would indulge my inner b***h and have a rant myself.

"Unique" Name Categories I Typically Don't Like

Although there are exceptions in every category, in general I don't care for:
• Car names
• Location names
• Food names
• Hotel names
• Poser Cowboy names
• "Roughing It" names
• Tough names
• Dumb names
• White Trash names
• Pretentious Poser Aristocrat names
• Hipster names
• Feminine names for boys
• Overly Masculine names for girls
• Made-up names, aka "Pharmaceuticals" names
• Names with unfortunate spellings
• Overused Trendy names ....and....
• Silly Celebrity names.

Location Names

Many location names are are fine in my opinion, but some sound so pretentious or silly, including these:
Bronx
London
Paris
Aspen
Cheyenne
Boston
Phoenix
Memphis
Germany

Car Names

"Mercedes" and "Porche" were girls' names long before the automobile was invented. I may be mistaken, but I believe these two types of cars were named after people. However, these days, some parents have taken to naming their kids after cars.
Camry, Kamri, Kaamri, etc.
Lexus
Riviera
Denali
Diesel
Chevy
Chassi (or Chassis)

Hotel Names

Believe it or not, I know an adorable little girl named Raddison. Blech.
Westin
Raddison
Sheraton
Hilton
Hiatt
Mariott

Roughing It Names

These are similar to poser cowboy names. They're slightly different but just as annoying, in my opinion.
Hunter
Archer
Fisher
Angler
Trapper
Pike
Ridge
Cutter

Food and Alcohol names

I would never name my kid after something you eat, but I would rather name a baby after something you eat than an alcoholic drink. That's just asking for future troubled soul. Perhaps I should move the alcoholic names to the 'Dumb" category. It's hard to believe that parents have actually given these names to a tiny little baby. Granted, Jameson was a surname before it was a whiskey, so I almost hate to include it. However, it does belong in my rant. If I move it out of the alcohol category, I can put it in the "pretentious poser aristocrat" category, instead.
Food names:
Cayenne
Kobe
Tiramisu
Chutney
Paprika
Kale (Kale is another word for cabbage! Who would name their kid "Cabbage?")
Dijon
Candy
Saffron
Brie
Mocha

Alcohol names:
Cristal
Tequila
Jameson
Chivas
Guinness
Skyy
Hennessy
Bacardi
Kahlua
Champagne
Alizé
Zima
Chablis
Merlot
Cognac
Marsala
Brandy
Daiquiri
Chardonnay

Poser Cowboy Names

I have nothing against cowboys -- it's just that I live in Texas and see so many city slickers who are posing as cowboys. They give their kids cheesy wannabe names. If you give your child one of these names, you'd better make your living by riding and roping.
Dakota
Stetson
Maverick
Buck
Colt, Colter, Colton
Dallas
Cheyenne
Wrangler
Dalton
Cash
Montana
Cassidy
Dillinger
Laramie

Tough names

These sound like the parents are trying a bit too hard to make their kid seem tough. Of course, giving your child one of these names is no guarantee they'll actually be tough.
Tripp
Blade
Blaze
Rowdy
Gunner
Jagger
Jett
Crash
Magnum
Ace
Race
Pace
Mace
Rogue
Steel

White Trash Names

White trash names fall into three subgroups: they're either hickish, sound as if their parents are trying too hard to be "classy," or they're just plain icky. I'll let you decide which of these names fall into which subgroup.
Graceland
Presley
Diamond
ShyAnne
Rebel
Armani
Chanel
Chantel
Desriee
Destiny
Chastity
Journey
Memory
Leroy
Mack
Wayne
Princess
Precious

Dumb Names

When I say these are dumb names, what I mean is that the people who choose them must be dumb. Believe it or not, these are not urban legends like the often-cited Lemonjello, Orangejello and Le-a. These are names that have actually been given to kids. Give your child one of these names, and people will question your brain power. Please don't chose one of these. Ever.
Adolph
Satan
Demon
Lucifer
Stalin
Aryan
Jezebel
Navaeh
Fayemus
Jermajesty
Nada

Overused, Trendy Names

Stick a fork in it. These names are done. I'm not talking about names like Michael and Emily here. Yes, Michael and Emily are very popular and perhaps overused, but they are tried-and-true names that have been given to children for centuries. What I'm talking about are the trendy names that parents think are really cool and unique, until they go to drop their child off on the first day of preschool only to find that five kids out of the 20 in the class have that same "unique" name.

The "Mc" or "MaK" names: McKenzie, MaKayla, McKenna, McKinley, etc.
Madison, Madysyn, Mattisen, etc.
Dillon, Dylan, Dillan, etc.
All the "aden" names: Aiden, Grayden, Caden, Stayden, Brayden, etc.
The "iley" names: Kyley, Riley, Wylie, Briley.
The "lin" or "lyn" ames: Kaitlin, Brooklyn, Ashlyn, Jazzlin, Jaydlyn, etc. .
Kennedy, Kennidi, etc.
Jaxon, Jackson, etc.

Hipster Names

Many hipster names are simply names that are sometimes referred to as "geriatric" names, meaning they are so out of fashion that the hipsters are using them because it's hip to be square. Many names in the hipster/geriatric category are names that were given to my grandparents and great aunts and uncles, such as Esther, Raymond, Frank, Hazel and Minnie. I don't mind the geriatric names, because they are actual names with meaning and have been used for centuries, as opposed to made-up "pharmaceuticals" names. While some hipster names can be cute, pretty or otherwise appropriate, on the other hand, some of them just make it seem like the parents are trying waaaaay to hard to be hip.
Calliope
Baptiste
Ever
Guthrie
Linus
Oswald
Zelda
Elvis
Pandora
Tallulah
Salinger
Thelonius
Lennon

Pretentious, Poser Aristocrat Names

If the white trash parent wants to give their child a "classy" name, they might choose Chantel or Wayne. Middle class parents who want to appear aristocratic have ther own set of names, which are way more pretentious. There is often quite a bit of overlap with these names and Hipster names. I've sorted the overlap names into one category or another, but many of them fit well in either category.
Paxton
Baxter
Fritz
Chase
Chance
Atticus
Holden
Brooks
Brennan
Anastasia
Aubrianna
Alistair
Piers
Beckett
Tennyson
Kingsley
Antoinette
Felice
Brantly
Thurston
Archibald
Crandall
Winthorpe
Cannes
Ainsley
Flannery
Aristotle
Spartacus
Bentley
Huntley
Brecken
Blakesly
Ridglea

Too-Masculine Names Given to Girls

Sorry boys, but parents of girls keep naming their babies traditionally boys' names, which eventually gives them a feminine connotation, and they must be removed from consideration for boys. If this trend keeps going, there are going to be tons of girls named Mike and Steve. I haven't met any female Mikes or Steves yet, but I have actually met adorable little girls with these names:
Kevin
Kyle
Parker
Logan
Brett
Maddox
Hudson

Too-Feminine Names Given to Boys

It's getting harder and harder to name a boy something other than Mike or Steve. Every time a name gets trendy-hot, parents of girls take it over, and what once was a masculine name becomes associated with girls. If you've given your boy one of these names, all I can say is "sorry." The girls have claimed these and they now seem too feminine for a boy.

Ashton
Ashley
Eden
Skylar
Bailey
Dana
Shannon
Addison
Darby
Avery
Emmerson
Sidney
Peyton
Robin
Tracy

Names with Unfortunate Spellings

I totally get that parents want their children to have unique, memorable names. But please know that giving your child’s name a yoouneek, speshull spelling can often hurt more than it can help. I don’t mean spelling Mandy “I” instead of a “y”. What I’m talking about is butchering your child’s possibly perfectly wonderful name with an idiotic, unfortunate spelling. Some of these names spell nouns that are not associated with the name (Raygun, for example) and some of the spellings are just so totally twisted that they make the parent appear to be illiterate.

Raygun (Reagan)
Danyell (Danielle)
Debe (Debbie)
Ginafur (Jennifer) "Fur" in a name is appropriate only for a cat or dog!
Porshay (Porche)
Keightlyn
Mattalin
Dezeray
Jailen
Jailah
Typhanea
Tailey
Tailer
Chace


Made-up Names, aka Pharmaceuticals Names

I sometimes call made-up names “pharmaceuticals" names because -- you guessed it -- many of the made-up these names sound like the latest offering to treat asthma, eczema or erectile dysfunction.

Braylon
Jalen
Dayson
Natalin
Addalin
Jayton
Laken
Cayton
Malin
Braley
Briley
Bryden
Jaythan
Jaxten
Kymbrie
Kambree
Merrix
Maxon
Maxton

Silly Celebrity Names

Celebrities seem more likely than the average person to give their children just plain silly names. ALthough silly celebrity names are way more ridiculous than the annoying names in the other categories I've listed here, they don't bother me much because the chance that I will ever know a cute kid with one of these names is very low. I don't think there is much danger of average citizens giving their babies one of these names:
Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin)
Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette)
Banjo (Rachel Griffiths)
Mars, Seven and Sirius (Erykah Badu)
Alabama Gypsyrose (Drea DeMateo and Shooter Jennings)
Kal-El (Nicholas Cage)
Zowie (David Bowie)
Moon Unit, Dweezil (Frank Zappa)
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)

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    • prayeriepal 5 years ago from Omaha NE

      You forgot one: The horrific name that rocker legend,Grace Slick, of Jefferson Airplane fame(later Jefferson Starship)named her son - "God." Gee, do you suppose that come to her whilst on some acid trip? GAG ME! Do you think he's changed his name by now? One wonders and one would surely hope so, if he had the brain cells that Grace evidently killed off by drug abuse. As for the rest of your copious list, some i agreed with and some not so much, but the crazy spellings of names is, imo, the MOST annoying, as they will FOREVER have to be spelling their names for everyone, every time, every where. Barf. -- susie

    • SmartAndFun profile image
      Author

      SmartAndFun 5 years ago from Texas

      LOL, Susie. I had not heard about the kid named God. I believe I read somewhere that Zowie Bowie changed his name to something average, so perhaps God did as well. I'll have to google that and see what I can find out. Thanks for your comments!

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Some of the names you list are the names of people I know!!

      Jaxton is my nieces little boy - Jaxon is my grandson (my older daughter passed on this one because there were ten of them in our kindergarten classes the year that grandson "Miles" was born - unfortunately, my younger daughter loved the name and therefore we have "Jax")I have a niece named Kennedy and about half of your list are students where I teach!

      Another great list! (My newest grandchild will be Rylin Arabella for a girl or Roman Able if a boy....)

    • SmartAndFun profile image
      Author

      SmartAndFun 5 years ago from Texas

      Just a teacher, I'm sorry people you know are on this list! I was really nervous to publish this little rant and I feel bad if anyone is offended. Like I said, I don't know what comes over me when it comes to names that I don't like. Thanks for your kind words, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it even though I am being so critical!

    • Alice 4 years ago

      Oh my gosh! I am so happy you did this article...I have been thinking Navaeh and the "-aden series" is completely retarded for years. Glad someone finally said something.

    • amelia 4 years ago

      malin is a real name in sweden... one of the most popular, actually.

    • Not telling my name 3 years ago

      Really I love the name Riley in fact a now a girl named Riley and she does not have an over used name! her parents named her that so don't be ripping on the name Riley people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • dearmommy profile image

      dearmommy 3 years ago

      I think this is hysterical!! Good for you for owning up to being judgemental, although, I don't blame you for getting upset. LOL. Thanks for the laugh!!!

    • Anonymous 3 years ago

      "lyn" is actually a name ending from the Norse. There are a lot of Norse names that end with "lyn." Gwendolyn, Iolyn, and Emlyn being examples. Although, I do agree with you that names like "Ashlyn" and "Jaydlyn" are stupid and really shouldn't be names at all.

    • DrMark1961 profile image

      DrMark1961 3 years ago from The Beach of Brazil

      I loved the white trash names. Some of them would do really well when given to a Redbone Coonhound. To my son or daughter, no way!

    • LKMore01 profile image

      LKMore01 3 years ago

      Enjoyed this Hub, Smart and Fun. It's amazing how being irritated or annoyed can be the impetus for great creative writing.

    • Joseph Renne profile image

      Joseph Renne 3 years ago from Milton

      Nice Hub! I enjoy the white-trash Names

    • SmartAndFun profile image
      Author

      SmartAndFun 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, everyone for reading and commenting. I enjoy hearing everyone's opinion and I'm so glad people don't seem to be too bothered by the fact that I'm so witchy in mine. I do love names and hearing what names people have chosen for their own kids. It is very interesting and lots of fun!

    • ella 3 years ago

      What's your opinion on these names?

      Hollis

      Thisbe (this as in thistle - bee)

      Auden

    • babynology profile image

      babynology 3 years ago from New York

      Thanks, I am reading and commenting. I have really enjoyed following article. I admire your naming style. I will be sharing this article with my friends. I have something interesting.

    • Anon 3 years ago

      My sister named her baby boy Khayden Angelous.... And i think it sounds a bit stupid. he is a gorgeous little boy but seriously, Khayden is over used. Its just Caden spelt differently... and she thought Angelous was a boy version of Angie, like the rolling stones song. It just makes me think of trying too hard semi-hipster crap, and a million other kids are going to have similar names.

    • SmartAndFun profile image
      Author

      SmartAndFun 3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, Anon, for joining in the discussion. I must agree with you! I think Khayden Angelous sounds like the parents are trying way too hard! Oh well, at least they will probably try just as hard to be great parents and give him a great life.

    • Pinkchic18 profile image

      Sarah Carlsley 3 years ago from Minnesota

      Lots of names here! This sure rules them out!

    • Anon 3 years ago

      Hey guess what!!! I can name my kid whatever I want and so can everyone else!

    • SmartAndFun profile image
      Author

      SmartAndFun 3 years ago from Texas

      Hi Anon, yes, absolutely you sure can! Names are very personal, and I'm sure your kids will have the perfect names for them. Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • dug Trudi 3 years ago

      I What do you think Ambrielle Schai

    • Cheyenne 3 years ago

      My name made not one, not two, but three of your lists. I personally would be terrified to run my kids names by you! Haha I teach at a daycare and have seen the name trends and yes it can get annoying, but that name may mean something to that family. Sounds like you are very opinionated, which is fine, but do try to consider the fact that there may be a backstory you know nothing about. I personally was named Cheyenne because my dying grandmother loved the name.

    • Grace 2 years ago

      The nurse that helped deliver my brother named him because my parents are from a different culture, and they wanted to name him Nester. The nurse told my parents that Nester wasn't a good name and they should name him Dennis instead, so his name is Dennis.

    • Juliette 2 years ago

      You forgot Shannyn Sossamon's son Audio Science. Most of the names on here are pretty awful but I once met two twin musicians named Kite and Sky and I thought it was lovely. I just assumed their parents were hippies. And I think Cheyenne and Dakota are beautiful.

    • Genesis 15 months ago

      Lol I named my son Blayze! I wasn't thinking tough. I just liked the name and thought it was different. He get compliments on his name most of the time! Yeah it was one person said i was setting him up for failure and some think it's cool. But oh well :-p

    • Sophia 7 weeks ago

      I use to say in school, "I hate it when parents name their kids wrong." My friends laughed at me for it, but I totally get you.

      My sister in law recently made up the name for her daughter which is Annfrythd. I'm going to be calling her Annie.

      Thanks for the article and I totally enjoyed the read and truthfulness to it.

      I also hate how popular my name has become! Use to be a nice unpopular name.

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