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What You Should Do If Your Child Is a Bully

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I’m a homegrown southern woman, mom to three wonderful kids, and wife to the man of my dreams. I write a lot about motherhood and parenting.


What to Do If Your Kid Is a Bully

A parent's worst nightmare for their child is being bullied. Nothing is as stressful as watching our young, delicate children scared to go somewhere because a bully is treating them mean, or worse, physically hurting them.

But when our child is the bully, what can we do? This is a possibility you probably have not prepared for. Here are some possible actions for a parent with a child who is a bully.

1. Have a Conversation With Your Child

If you come to know for a fact that your kid is indeed bullying other children, it is better that you sit down with them and talk things through, which will help you find out why they are behaving in that fashion. One might be shocked to learn what their motives were. Take the child's schedule into account when formulating your plan of action.

2. Consider Seeing a Professional

A professional counselor may be needed if talking to your child does not resolve the issue. A therapist will identify your child's needs and suggest actions you can take to meet these needs.

3. Allow Others to Be Involved

Speak with your kid's teacher and also the mother and father of the kids that are enduring bullying. What you learn could be surprising. You could also note that there may be other kids interested in bullying maneuvers.

Breaking up a bullying ring and creating a more favorable environment for the children of the school could be a part of the process in these discussions. You must be ready to listen to things that may be hard to hear about your child.

4. Broaden Your Child's Perspective

Please help them to understand the bad experiences of being bullied. Share with them your experiences with bullying or stories from a family member. When they begin to understand just how much suffering they have caused another due to their bullying, it may help them and even change them for the better.

5. Be a Great Example

Kids will often copy what they see. Is there something in the surrounding that causes kids to act like that? Work to eliminate or alter these situations and circumstances if you can identify them. It may be for you or your family to receive counseling on how to change the environment for the better.

6. Let the Child Know What Is Acceptable Behavior and What Is Not

Be consistent in reminding your child that there are consequences to their behavior. After you speak with the authorities at school, you can go about setting the limits on their behavior and put an end to their career as a bully. The child needs to know that the people in their life are noticing them and will link lousy behavior with consequences for that behavior.

If previously agreed-upon rules are not met, consequences should be swift and forthcoming. The emphasis is on implications that do not involve physical retribution and is suited to the individual's age. To achieve the goal may mean the elimination of loved activities and taking away others.

7. Love Your Kids

First and foremost, you must love your kids. Spend time with them to get to know them and to understand how they think and feel. They are more likely to share their difficulties with you rather than resort to being the bully as you grow in your relationship. Well, as you scream out "Help my child is the bullied" be positive and know there is assistance.

And the most important thing that you can do for your child is to accept that they may be a bully so that you can work with them to resolve the issue. The next time an angry or upset parent comes to you complaining about your child's aggression, don't snap at her or call her a liar. Instead, listen to her, observe your child and work with them to modify their behavior.

We as adults need to do more to teach our kids that cruelty is cruelty, and no matter how much you think they deserved it, or what your reasons are, it is still wrong. Parents, adults, and role models need to start living by this principle themselves.

An Amazing Video About Bullying

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2017 Brenda


Brenda (author) from Florida on June 08, 2017:

I guess that could happen, but more offten it is becouse a lack of under standing how it makes the other fill, or some other issue that meeds to ne taken care of. I will add that having a child that is a bully dose not mean you did a bad job. Your child just needs some guidance from you at this time.

threekeys on June 08, 2017:

Someone was saying to me that the dark side to having high self esteem is in becoming a bully and feeling self-entitled. Could it be that you have done a good job in building up a sense of value in your child but the pride side neeeds to brought into balance?