What You Should Do If Your Child Is a Bully

Updated on June 16, 2017

Have You Just Found Out Your Kid Is a Bully? Here Is What to Do.

A parent's worst nightmare for their child is being bullied. Nothing is as stressful as watching our young, delicate children scared to go somewhere because a bully is treating them mean, or worse, physically hurting them.

But when our child is the bully, what can we do? This is a possibility you probably have not prepared for. Here are some possible actions for a parent with a child who is a bully.

1. Have a Conversation With Your Child

If you come to know for a fact that your kid is indeed bullying other children, it is better that you sit down with them and talk things through which will help you find out why he or she is behaving in that fashion. One might be shocked to learn what his motives were. Take the child's agenda into account when formulating your plan of action.

2. Be Ready to Go the Distance

A professional counselor may be needed if talking to your children does not resolve the issue. A professional will identify the needs of your child and suggest actions you can take to meet these needs.

3. Allow Others to Be Involved

Speak with your kid's teacher and also the mother and father of the kids that are enduring bullying. What you learn could be surprising. You could also note that there may be other kids that have an interest in bullying maneuvers. Breaking up a bullying ring and creating a more positive environment for the children of the school could be a part of the process in these discussions. You must be ready to listen to things that may be hard to hear about your child.

What It’s Like To Be Bullied

4. Broaden Your Child's Perspective

Help him to understand the bad experiences of being bullied. Share experiences of you or a member of your family getting bullied with him. When he begins to understand just how much suffering he has caused another as a result of his bullying, it may help him and even change him for the better.

5. Be a Great Example

Kids will often copy what they see. Is there something the surrounding that causes kids to act like that? Work to eliminate or alter these situations and circumstances if you can identify them. It may be for you or your family to receive counseling on how to change the environment for the better.

6. Let the Child Know What Is Acceptable Behavior and What Is Not

Be consistent in reminding your child that there are consequences to his behavior. After you speak with the authorities at school, you can go about setting the limits on his behavior and put an end to his career as a bully. The child needs to know that the people in his life are noticing him and will link bad behavior with consequences for that behavior. If previously agreed-upon rules are not met, then consequences should be swift and forthcoming. The emphasis is on consequences that do not involve physical retribution and is suited to the age of the individual. To achieve the goal may mean the elimination of loved activities and taking away others.

7. Love Your Kids

First and foremost, you must love your kids. Spend time with him to get to know him and to understand how he thinks and feels. He is likelier to share his difficulties with you rather than resorting to being the bully as you grow in your relationship. Well, as you scream out "Help my child is the bullied" be positive and know there is assistance.
And the most important thing that you can do for your child is to accept that he may be a bully so that you can work with him to resolve the issue. The next time an angry or upset parent comes to you complaining about your child's aggression, don't snap at her or call her a liar. Instead, listen to her, observe your child and work with him to modify his behavior.
We as adults need to do more to teach our kids that cruelty is cruelty, and no matter how much you think they deserved it, or what your reasons are, it is still wrong.. Parents, adults, role models, need to start living by this principle themselves.

Were you a bully?

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I have added a link to an amazing video about bullying. If you would like more information on what to do, this video has got you covered.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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    • Down South Mama profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago from Florida

      I guess that could happen, but more offten it is becouse a lack of under standing how it makes the other fill, or some other issue that meeds to ne taken care of. I will add that having a child that is a bully dose not mean you did a bad job. Your child just needs some guidance from you at this time.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Someone was saying to me that the dark side to having high self esteem is in becoming a bully and feeling self-entitled. Could it be that you have done a good job in building up a sense of value in your child but the pride side neeeds to brought into balance?


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