Why Teenage Girls Never Clean Their Messy Rooms

Updated on November 29, 2016

Teenager is to Messy Room as Prisoner is to Orange Jumpsuit

If you're the parent of a teenager, now or in the past, then most likely you've had numerous fights or at least given an exasperated lecture to try to get your son or daughter to clean his or her room. Maybe you continue the effort constantly or occasionally, or maybe you've given up arguing and content yourself with a loud sigh or dirty look every time you pass your teenager's room.

Well, I don't know how to make a teenager clean his or her room. If you're looking for tips on how to make her clean up, I don't have them. I can, however, offer some explanation as to why teenage girls have such messy rooms. I'm sure many teenage boys also have this problem, but I can only speak to the female mindset.

Even though I'm no longer a teenager, I will use the communal "we" to describe the actions and thoughts of myself and my almost-peers. Because, even though I've passed into my twenties, I still don't clean my room, and I don't do it for the same reasons I haven't for the past ten years or so.

A teenage girl who never cleaned her room
A teenage girl who never cleaned her room

Reason Number 1: Too much stuff, not enough stuff-holders

Teenage girls like to buy things. Whether we enjoy the act of shopping or not, the fact remains that we like to have lots of stuff. In this situation, it would be particularly apt to apply the proverb of "Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs." No, we don't eat more food than we can fit in our stomachs, but we buy more stuff than we can fit in our rooms.

Or, if we can manage to fit everything into our rooms, often we don't manage to find a place to put our belongings that's not the floor or the desk. We don't have enough organizational tools for all of the stuff that we accumulate. So, perhaps I do have a tip for clutter-crazy parents: Buy your daughter some more storage units. A chest of drawers, a book shelf, even an extra crate or endtable. If our stuff has a designated home, the stuff is less likely to end up in a pile on the headboard of the bed.

Part of the excuse for our stuff often having no home is that really, a teenage girl's room is the only place in the house that is truly hers to put stuff in. Which brings us to the next reason...

The messiest room in the world... I challenge you to find messier
The messiest room in the world... I challenge you to find messier

Reason 2: Ownership

When we live in our parents' house, there isn't much that truly belongs to us. Parents often use this fact to their advantage: "As long as you live in my house, you follow my rules!" "When YOU pay the mortgage, YOU can do whatever YOU want!"

Not that I find fault with wanting things to be the way you choose in your own space. Exactly the opposite; I agree completely. Which is why we feel that things should be the way WE want in the only room that belongs to us. True, we don't pay the bills (in most cases), but we do spend a large part of our time in that room, and it plays host to most of our belongings.

A girl's room is not just a dumping room for her stuff. It's the one place in the house that she can be herself, that she can relax and not have to worry about following other people's rules. Her messy room is an outpouring of her personality and of her busy life. It's where she doesn't have to pretend to be neat if she's not.

Clothes go on the printer, right?
Clothes go on the printer, right?

Reason Number 3: Different priorities

While parents may put cleanliness and orderliness near the top of their priority lists, (most) teenage girls do not. And it's really hard to get a girl (or anyone!) to do something when she feels like she has more important things to get done. Like homework. Or play rehearsal. Or tennis practice. Or shopping. Or sleeping. No one wants to feel like she is wasting her time.

Reason Number 4: Futility

Futile: incapable of producing any result; ineffective; useless

If it's hard to do something that isn't high on the priority list, it's even harder to do something when you know it's a pointless effort. We know that our rooms are going to get messy again, probably very soon, so it's quite difficult to force ourselves to clean them. Why do something if you're just going to have to repeat yourself a week or a month later?

Reason Number 5: Sleep

When we come home from school, or work, or whatever has occupied our time all day, the first thing many of us want to do is drop everything and rest. This leaves little time for cleaning.

If a teenage girl isn't much into napping, the "sleep" excuse still stands, just in a less direct way. When we come home, we dump everything we are carrying on our beds and immediately go do something mind-numbing like eating or watching TV. When the evening ends, and it's time for bed, we return to our room and, lo and behold, everything is still on the bed. At this point, we are too tired to put everything away in its proper place, if there is a proper place. So, it all goes on the floor. Or the desk. Or the headboard. See a vicious cycle here? If this pattern continues every day, the pile grows every day, and we become even less inclined to pick anything up.

Should teenage girls be forced to clean their rooms?

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      Priscylla 4 weeks ago

      To be honest I don't think teenage girls should have to clean their disorganised room because there will go messy again in a couple of days sometimes hours. I'm a teen myself and I don't clean my room because I have a forgetful memory and won't remember where I put things whereas when my room is messy I find things more easily. Parents rule over everything in the house apart from rooms of their children and since the children only have one room to rule over they should at least have the privilege to make the room a space of their own.

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      Destiny 7 weeks ago

      I’m a teen and the view point I always have is, “Why clean itif nobody but me has to go in there?” They’ve always told me to stop being disrespectful or not to talk back. But that’s never worked. I HATE cleaning. Not just cleaning my room. I hate cleaning in general. I rarely come out of my room. I have everything I need in there. So, the real question to be asked is, “Why do parents want their kids rooms cleaned if they never have to go in there?” Well, because parents are narcissistic and liketo cause pain on their children. Just kidding. But the saying, “If you want it do it on your own then,” really works in this situation. Unless you have parents like mine who usually take everything out of your room and throw it away. So, all I have if they do that would be, my bed, tv, night stand and charging stuff. MAYBE they’ll leave my bookshelf for my school stuff.

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      Sabrina 2 months ago

      There is definitely a difference between an unorganized room and a dirty room. My room is 100% disorganized. Stuff is everywhere, and the "clothes on the printer" photo gives a similar peek into how my room is - no place to store stuff, I have a hard time giving/throwing old stuff away, and no one comes in my room besides me. My dad will complain occasionally, but my parents are done fighting about it, which I think is fair.

      A dirty room, however, is a problem-causer and should be addressed as so. Bugs, mice, etc. are a huge problem, and can spread past the bedroom. I am not allowed to eat in my room, so I do not have this problem. Forcing teenagers to clean up after themselves to avoid a larger issue should be encouraged for parents. I think parents just need to assess the mess, and figure out what type of "messy" the room really is.

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      Mean Mom 2 months ago

      My teen daughter no longer has her own room because she kept it so nasty. I removed the equivalent of an 80 gallon garbage container of garbage from the room. The carpet is ruined and will need to be replaced. She now temporarily bunks in with her younger brother. She’s going on 18 and will move out this coming summer. Respect my house and rules or suffer the consequences.

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      Jadyn Robinson 3 months ago

      For those of you who think we should keep our rooms clean how about u come and do it for us...we preoccupy ouselvex with other stuff and since u have about 5 or 6 free hours than u come do it

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      Ellena Navarro 9 months ago

      I laugh at the folks that say let their room be. Yeah that's all fine and good until bugs start making their way from their room to the rest of the house. Their nasty rooms affects everyone therefore, at least put dirty dishes away and pick up your nasty underwear.

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      Joe Blow 10 months ago

      They should clean it, just to be organized and to be able to find things, also get out all the dirty clothes, and the clean clothes put away where they belong. WTF?

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      Natalie 3 years ago

      Maybe this is true for some people having a messy room when growing up, but I never did I like things to be organised and always have. My mum never had rules about cleaning our rooms we just did as we wanted too. To this day I still do not like mess and still like things to be in order.

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      Rose 5 years ago

      I'm 14 and i have a really messy room. I believe I have mice and My parents are not forcing me to clean it. I'm scared of mice and hate them. I know this is my fault but is there anyone out there that can help me get it clean in one day?

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      Rebecca 5 years ago

      I'm 15 years old and my mom and dad always complain to me about my room. The only reason I don't clean it is because I'm too lazy. I think of how long it would take for me to clean it and I get overwhelmed. When my mom does yell at me to clean, I really do try....but then 5 minutes later I'm distracted by all of the things I find. I'm really trying to work on my messiness. I've noticed that the condition of my room is affecting my school grades as well (Not being able to find an important paper because of my mess) I just need to figure out how to overcome procrastination and laziness. :/

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      Fran 5 years ago

      My room is a tip :D. I will carry on dumping stuff on my floor or bed until I get to the stage where even I am sick of it. I will tidy it up a bit and then it will be back to the same state within a month and the cycle repeats.

      I lnow what clothes are clean and what's dirty; clean clothes are on my desk chair and smell of washing powder the rest is in a pile on the floor behind my door. It's organised chaos.

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      rebecca 5 years ago

      I am a teenage girl and I want to keep my room clean but I don't want to spend the time doing it.

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      Anjili 5 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid

      Thanks for the advice on teenage girls. I have several under my roof who make me blow my top whenever I peep in their rooms in their absence. You painted a clear picture on their private thoughts. However, I usually insist on each person having more than enough hangers around such that, none of them excuse their untidy mess. I have one daughter who has finished high school and refuses to spread her bed despite previous training. I hate untidy beds. They keep me away from the bedroom. Makes me wonder how she will maintain her own house in future. It might keep me away. I wish girls would be more careful.

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      Girl3Boy 6 years ago

      I am 15 years old. When I was in elementary school I always had REALLY much stuff on the floor, when I always woke up I did always look first down from my bed and I did see a mess and then I always became depress because in my dream my room were clean and by the way I have loft bed.

      But know I clean my room without anyone say' it to me because if there are just little of stuff lay' around because I hate when stuff are lay' around and I have a lot off storage to my stuff but they will take to much space so know I have plot of my room and know I have to decide what I will throw a way and I got a plan I will clean one wardrobe with is in my room and put everything in there organized and all my clothes are next to my room in a very little stock tomorrow is clean' time.^^he he he he heee~~

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      Megan 6 years ago

      I have a tip for parents with a messy teenager (since I'm a messy "young adult"). Give them a decent sized room. Before my parents decided to move, I had a fairly large bedroom. I had the room to put in shelves and containers for my stuff. Sure my laundry was usually on the floor but it was dirty and it was washed when the washing machine was available (when you have a family of four, the washing machine works overtime). If I did have random debris on the floor, it didn't stay there long because it had a spot and there was room to get it to that spot.

      In my new house (yes, still with mom and dad), my room is MUCH smaller. I can barely fit my bed, dresser, and bird in. Even that is pushing it. I have a hard time getting to my dresser so most of my clothes stay on baskets on the floor. I can't fit shelving of any kind and the closet is already full. I have no place for my things so they go wherever there is space.

      If you can't get away with giving your teen a small bedroom, have another place they can store their "treasures". Someplace that you won't go. It could be a closet or another small room or anything really. As long as your kid knows that what goes in that room is for their eyes and you won't go through their belongings in that area. It's similar to a diary with a lock on it. What is in there is for your kid's eyes only.

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      graceomalley 7 years ago

      I am a mom of an 11 year old girl, and you have just helped me understand her room behavior better. Tomorrow i am going to follow your advice and get a few storage units.

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      nefia 7 years ago

      I'm 15 and have been kicked out of my house by my mum. she thought my room wasn't up to her OFF standards. my room is just the ,way I like it and having things all over is the only way I can function ESPECIALLY in my room. its the only thing I have any control over and by having someone constantly on my ass to clean it I feel more stressed and defiant than necessary. plus I have to worry about getting excellent grades on top of having everything orderly. by the time my homework is done I barely have time to sleep let alone clean my room.

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      Karla 7 years ago

      I keep a tidy home, although I remember that I didn't always keep a tidy room as a young girl. I try to cut my daughter some slack and I'm surprised to find that when she has the time, she ends up cleaning her own room. As long as the job gets done, I don't mind if she doesn't clean up as soon as I tell her to.

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      tina S 7 years ago

      I believe they should keep their rooms tidy. If they do not learn to keep their room tidy and in order, what will happen when they get married or get their own home? They will just continue to live in the same way. They will continue living in a messy, smelly, unorganized, cluttered house. Has anyone seen the TV series "how clean is your home"? That is what happens to people who do not learn to clean their homes.

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      joanne mathias 7 years ago

      You are just making excuses to do your work !!!!

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      Annette G 7 years ago

      I believe as a girl begins to mature especially an older teenage girl, she should clean up her mess and be responsible. There is no excuse for a big girl, and I mean big girl to be so blasted nasty. I cannot stand clutter. These girls need to get up off their ass and help around the house and especially to keep their rooms clean. They do not have a maid and it reeks of selfishness when they are so disgustedly untidy.

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      Nali 7 years ago

      I am 17, and this is one of the biggest issues I have with my parents. I agree with all of the points. May I also add, that sometimes it is about you are too tired to put things back in the right place, if they have one. I come home from track meets where I am too tired to even take my contacts out, let alone make sure everything in the right place. Or, unpreparedness. Like, if I have my a-game on, I may pick out my outfits for the next week, or next day. However, if I don't, all heck breaks loose on school-day mornings. And, I also have a problem with being late, so add 2 and 2 together and you get clothes all over the floor. Also, you might want to consider getting distracted. Because in the few times i have tried to clean my room, I'll start, go downstairs, and then BAM! its nighttime. Oh, that pile of clean shirts doesn't need to be hung up, I can tell what's clean if it is on the floor. BTW, I do my own laundry (most the time, if I remember). IDK, maybe that is just me, ADD. But, thanks for providing this article. It helps to know that I am not the only teen girl facing this dilemma.

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      Beth100 8 years ago from Canada

      I'm laughing as I read this...same struggle with my daughter but I've learned to just let her be. She'll clean it up when she can't stand it! lol I just close the door, and it's out of my sight and out of my mind. Oh, she has plenty of storage...too much probably, but she still doesn't use them. I think she's over compensating for my over cleaniless, maybe?!? :D

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      marilyn ferrell  8 years ago

      i think that cleaning ur room is a waste of time if u dont like it then ill just close my door so u cant c it

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      LillyMoore 8 years ago

      I'm 15 and a love cleaning my room! Is that weird? Maybe, but I can't keep it clean enough! What's the point of having your own space if you can't even be bothered to take care of it? If you clean your room it shows your parents a bit of responsibility and respect. I don't see the points in teenagers trying to rebel against their parents rules about room cleaning because it just backfires on them, and then they have to live in a mess! Love this article, but I'm just defending all the teenage girls who do clean their rooms :)

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      Funnyhaha 8 years ago

      This is kinda weird but I luv the pics of the room it gives good examples, and I really like the article but im still kinda wondering how to/do I or them get my or their room so messy?!

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      sally 8 years ago

      thanks god my daughters room is not that messy.we've been bought up with European culture.so the girl gets taught to clean up at a very early age.even thou i thought she was messy seeing this photos made me realize that she is actually alright.i think she needs more storage like you said...

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      Rainbow Brite 9 years ago

      WAY too funny and very true! And btw, love the pic of the cat, my cat was doing that this morning. I was like ok, mice are NOT pillows, nor are they meant for you to chase! lol. In any case, I thoroughly agree with the points you have set forth here, and I would like to add that these habits may or may not follow us into our adult lives depending on the type of person we end up living with. Perfect example - my ex-husband was a pig! No matter where we lived when I was with him, it was always a pig sty and there was nothing I could do about it. Then we broke up and I moved in with someone who was a neat freak. The apartment stayed spotless 24/7. Got back with the ex, and the house got thrashed. You follow my line of logic here!