Why Do Teenagers Feel so Lonely?

Updated on May 20, 2018
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I am a 20-year-old who knows what it's like to feel lonely and loves to help others who feel the same way.

Why Do We Feel so Alone?

Some teenagers feel alone and would like some company once in a while. Most of them would not admit that fully (that they need help) but in the end, everyone does, whether or not it's obvious. Most of the time, they are certain they can manage everything by themselves, but in reality, they can't. It is considered to be one of the most difficult phases of life.

Do you find yourself sitting alone in your room and go on social media in hopes that someone on there cares about you? In the hope that other people appreciate you for who you are? Some of your friends do, and some of them fake it. How can you know?

I guess school makes it difficult at this point. For example, in my school, everyone is snobby and only cares about physical appearances. I am not like that. Many people change their attitudes, their ways, their personality, and themselves in order to be accepted by this little strange society.

Your parents won't understand your problems even if they say they do. What you do instead is spend hours on websites like StumbleUpon, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, or Skype to find two things: the passion that you lost and the happiness that you need.

Now, I know that happiness cannot be found on the internet, but a little distraction is very useful at times, especially if you feel like crying. So you go on the internet and find that people your age are having the same issues and are dealing with them like you do. It's nice to know that you are not the only one having that particular problem. You can read about their experiences and points-of-view. You meet virtual friends that you wish were real and right beside you. But they aren't. Why can't we have long-term friends in real life? People talk behind our backs, especially the ones we thought were our friends.

I know this is kind of depressing but in a teenage world, most of it works like this. Time changes and people get meaner. They care about how thin you are and how popular you are, not how your personality is. What a sad world.

People Expect You to Be Someone You're Not

Why do I always have to look good for other people? Yet, when I do it for me, people blame me for that. They don't accept me for me. There's this famous quote that says, "We don't let change happen, because when a thing is different, we change it back to normal."

When People Let You Down

This is the most unsatisfying feeling. You really trust someone and are ready to do anything for them, but then they let you down the moment you need them. This happens to me all the time. I wonder why I am such a good friend and let other people ruin my life so easily.

Reasons Why We Feel Alone

  • Family problems (most of the pain comes from here)
  • No real friends (just people that pretend to be)
  • No acceptance in society (as a whole or even in smaller groups like schools; who you are may not be accepted by everyone; yet, we all have rights that are unfortunately not always respected)
  • Not satisfied with your life
  • No one understands you.
  • Not accepted for your choices (music artists/genre, fashion style, personality, etc.)
  • Prejudices (some people find it fun to criticize you when they have no clue who you are, and as they do so, other people start to think negative things about you as well, and so the rumors start, and when they do, it's difficult to stop them)
  • Being afraid to speak up (sharing of opinions becomes difficult, and you get trapped by your own self)

There are so many more reasons, but these are some of the more common ones.

Some Inspirational Quotes for the Lonely Times

  • "And be careful of what you do, 'cause the lie becomes the truth."—Michael Jackson
  • "There's nothing wrong with you; there's a lot wrong with the world you live in."—Chris Colfer
  • "Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."—St. Francis De Sales
  • "It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for something you are not."—Andre Gide
  • "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."—Eleanor Roosevelt
  • "If you care about what others think, then you will be forever their slave."
  • "Don't ever let somebody tell you that you can't do something."—Will Smith
  • "Life is not about people who act true to your face. It's about people who remain true behind your back."
  • "Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had."—Ziad K. Abdelnour

And Always Remember...

Want to Talk About It? I Am Here to Help.

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      Person 1 

      3 weeks ago

      I'm a fourteen year old girl and I have pretty good friends but I still feel lonely because they have very different personalities to me and I feel like the don't know or understand me at all. I've also never had a boyfriend because I've been teased and hurt by guys before so now I try and keep my distance but I'm worried I'm going to be lonely forever and I'm never going to find someone like me. I've tried talking to my mum about how I feel but she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say. She can't even tell when I'm sad, though it's not because she doesn't care. I mean, I love her but she does not get me at all. No one does. I suppose another part of why I'm so lonely is that I struggle to open up to people. I find it way easier to be alone because then I can't hurt anyone or muck anything up. Also when I get close to people I get hurt or betrayed. I learned that if I keep my head down and hide in the corners nothing bad happens, although nothing good happens either. Besides, nothing good ever lasts. I just wish I knew someone who understood what it's like to stand in the middle of a crowd and feel so immensely lonely. I have a hollow pit in my chest and I want to find someone I can talk to to fill it but I feel like there is no such person and even if they did come along I wouldn't know how to talk to them. It's all very complicated and sometimes everything becomes too much and I feel like it would be so much easier to end it all. I feel like I'm surviving and I want to live but I don't know how. I feel better knowing that other people feel this way. I just wish we were all able to actually talk to each other because I feel like that would help so much but everyone is always on snapchat and I'm not going to reveal my deep dark feelings through a photo that last 10 seconds. I don't think I will ever commit suicide. I think if I keep trying eventually something good will happen right. All this suffering can't be for nothing. That probably sounds super naive but I really do hope it's true.

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      Ashu 

      6 weeks ago

      Hey author,

      I am glad to know about your website I'm Ashu a 15 year old boy I feel lonely bcoz my father died when I was 11 year and another reason is that im in a boarding school since 2005 and no one understand my feeling even when I tried to hang out with my friends my mom just scold me and after reading your article I feel there is who care for my feeling thank you so much that you wrote this article .

      Your fan

      Ashu

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      Mahalakshmi 

      7 weeks ago

      i"m actually not been considered as i even exist. I don't have a lot of real friends.literally only one. My mom neglects me all the time and pays attetion only to the others kids in our street.I feel left out..I just wanna die.

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      Real 

      7 weeks ago

      Am 18 and I've been feeling depressed for at least 10 years now, my parents are trying to shape me onto something am not, and every time I try to please them it always comes back to hunt me and I feel so sad and unhappy all the time, I sit in my toilet for hours just crying and how badly I want to die and get it over with. I don't know the solution because I've tried to cage my emotions cause I don't like social media and I don't really have any true friend i can talk to about my emotions. Please help me, a reply can save my life

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      2 months ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Mace, I am sorry you are feeling this way and hopefully this article was useful for you. I can assure that these are the very little things in life that will soon change. School is a tough place but it helps you get stronger. Be patient with your parents... I know how you feel but try doing something else (hobby) to get distracted. Distracting yourself is a good start, maybe a sport that also allows you to meet new people. I wish you all the very best and remember that nothing is set in stone and you can move to Florida when deciding which University to go to. If you wanna talk about anything remember that there are people here for you. Feel free to message me if you wanna share anything else :) Wish you all the best.

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      Mace 

      2 months ago

      My parents limit everything, I lose friends for not wearing Jordans and doing something other than smoking weed. According to society my leather jacket makes me a school shooter even though its the only thing i have to hide my scars from cutting. My parents dont understand me. My only true friend is moving to Florida in less than a week which is 1500 miles away. I cant own anything cool like BB guns or a pocket knife. Life sucks and i want to die

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      2 months ago from Tasmania

      And Secret, there is nothing right about what he has been doing to you. There is nothing right about any forced sexual activity on anyone at any time. The only time any sex is ok is when both persons are totally in agreement, total understanding and totally unselfish: considering the other persons needs as well as their own. At least, this how I see it after all these years.

      So, Secret, you are not to blame, not at fault. Whatever you decide to do from now on, rest assured you deserve good friendships. And on the road to discovering those friendships, although there will be mistakes, you will have successes and these will bring you joy back into your life. So, stand tall, look at your self in the mirror, look your self in your eyes, SMILE with love in your heart. Be friends with your self. and say: "Hi. Shall we walk along together? I would love to get to know you."

      I wish you lots of love and success.

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      2 months ago from Tasmania

      Goshami, N, Kate, Michael, Secret.....and everyone on this site, I hear your messages, loud and clear! What can I or anyone else say that might help you.

      Wish I could wave a magic wand, sort of Harry Potter fashion, lol. But that’s no good obviously.

      All I can say is about my own life - and I am almost 77 now! My life was lonely as a young boy of 7; most times, through teenaged years; 20s; 30s and all the way through to my 70s. But You know what? I have lived. Been many places, done many things, had successes, made mistakes....and survived them all. Had lots of joys through many experiences that I had only dreamed of. Never been married, no kids (I’m gay but only found out in my mid 20s). So as you can imagine I feel quite protective of anyone who’s trapped by their feeling lonely, whatever age, for whatever reason. That is why I first happened to visit this forum because I was already on HubPages. You can see from my profile what my interests are. And I am still getting new interests at this age. Getting new friends, too. Getting to be respected for my age too, by some people....but some think I’m a funny old f..t ! I don’t mind that, it’s all for a laugh.

      Sorry to go on for so long here, but it’s just to show that when you are young, especially in those teenage years, there are not many people who will tell you REALLY what it’s like going on through life. Now you know, from what I’ve told you about my own life, that you cannot expect it to all be easy, fun, with just the right people you want around.

      It is necessary to take the rough with the smooth. Be honest with yourself and with your feelings. Try to be honest with others about how you feel....even the hard bit - with your parents. If you don’t share it with them, they can’t know for sure how you want them to help you.

      I do hope that the people who came on here 3-4 years ago with their problems, have managed to come through and find that life is not so bad after all. And if you can stand in front of the mirror, smile, love yourself for all your success and all the mistakes you have ever made, you are well on the way to becoming fine adult individuals. With lots to give to the world and expecting to get some of what you want in return. You deserve it. Wishing you well.

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      Malakai 

      2 months ago

      I’ve had a rough time in school this girl I really liked my best freind went out with her I became close with her after they broke up she wanted to commit suicide she came to me for help a lot of stuff went on she was happy so was I we became best freinds although I still have feelings for her I told her about my life same there other way around after we became distant for some reason I started conversations but she closed them now I feel useless alone i don’t live close to my freinds I thought of suicide I don’t know what to do

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      Rachel Martin-Pankey 

      2 months ago

      The thing is that I’m a 16 year old girl that’s in the 9th grade and everytime I say or do something I just end up hurting those I care about, and the big problem is that me and my best friend since I was in the 7th grade are no longer friends anymore because apparently everything I do it just ruins his life, and his relationship and I tried to fix the mistake that I made and he told me that I can’t fix this problem not this time and then the day after that my best friend since I was in the 8th grade and when I was in the 8th grade he was in the 7th grade and we had dated for 1 year and 4 months and then we booked up and he got mad because I gave away his new girlfriends cell phone to someone that actually asked for it and he had told me to not talk to him ever again. What should I do someone please tell me I’m begging I really need some advice on what to do?

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      Secret 

      3 months ago

      My biggest secret, is the worst thing in my life. I wanna tell the police, about my father raping me since i was 7 years old. Been raped for 9 and a half year. I'm so tired :( HE is the reason i wanna kill myself, and have tried it for so long...

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      Michael 

      3 months ago

      My name's Michael and i'm 15 years old. I feel so unconfortable, because just so many people are such assholes and cocks. I have a few people but they aren't like real friends. I feel so insecure of my looks because people just care so much.. Lol idk it sucks. I am changing school in half a year though... Hoping for a new start

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      Kate 

      3 months ago

      Same as everyone else. I lock myself in my room thinking about things.

      I ALWays thought meditating was dumb but I gave it a try. IT actually helps for abit.

      I have problems on Instagram, I have even gotten alot of questions but I’m too on scared to face them. THe questions are more like orders and they aren’t of me. I feel like I’ve lost myself completely. School is pretty stressing as well. My best friend went for a month to travel. My other friends aren’t so good. THey go by looks, there was this guy sitting just outside the friend circle. THE Guy is really nice and helped me with a few things so I Asked if he wanted to sit with the group because he was alone. The people in the group straight away said “Oolala Kate likes him” they also said the guy didn’t look good enough and one of my friends said he ate toast in the toilet so apprently he was disgusting.

      I’m sure they have done something as equal disgustingly as well.

      That day I stayed in the corner muttering how bad the world has become. Of course not everyone is like that but I just....... don’t know.

      It’s Easter weekend so we got Friday. The weekend and Monday, Tuesday off.

      During the weeks I had nothing to do. I literally stay in bed till 11am, get up have breakfast go back to bed and either watch YouTube, read my depressing book (about a guy who doesn’t know what to do with his life) or play choices/episodes.

      This isn’t the real me. The real me is me playing outside. Playing with my brother who I said no to the last few days. WHo loves drawing and painting. It was Easter this weekend at I didn’t even do anything. Same goes with April fools day. Last year I tricked my parents on April fools and I enjoyed doing Easter egg hunts with my brother.

      Now I just dont. Please reply I have no idea how to move on. I just feel like suiciding. No point in life if I keep living like this.

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      3 months ago

      I don’t have anything in common with anyone else and I tag along and get in the way. People like me fine and I don’t have real enemies but no one really cares much and I don’t have that good friend I can do anything for and who will do anything back. I don’t know who I really am and I’m awkward and I never know what to do or say. The girls I thought were my friends r starting to find me a pain in the butt so I’m lonely and I don’t spend time with anyone outside of school. I’m not allowed to do most of the things they do together like watch Netflix or go into town without my parents. I’m 13 and I left all my primary school friends to go to a different school and I only have one really good friend left. The others have all moved on and forgotten and I don’t live near her so we don’t see each other much. I’m so scared we’ll drift apart too then I’ll have no one at all. I don’t know what to do

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      3 months ago from Tasmania

      @Goshami....sorry you got no replies to that message. I hope you are ok. Please write again.

      There are people who care about you. Please, go and find one of them. You will be hurting them so so bad if you take your own life.

      Please keep talking to us here.

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      3 months ago from Tasmania

      @unknown...."I don't want help - but I do...."

      Many of us do just that at times, confusionof feelings and think we are strange, unusual, peculiar.

      You are not strange. Not unusual. Not peculiar. You are just a beautiful young person who deserves to be loved.

      Have courage and the energy to just keep going. Learn the skills to keep climbing to the top of the hill. You will make it. The view of your road ahead is much clearer from there. You WILL make it. Tell yourself this.

    • profile image

      Goshami 

      3 months ago

      I have some serious problem here i don't talk much i don't mix with others i always like being alone locking myself in my room i don't want to go outside now i always feel like i should commit suicide

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      blackraiinbow 

      4 months ago

      i am writing this cause i hope smn will read. i just don't wanna go outside anymore. i just want to sit there in my room. this days are just same. going to school, coming back and doing homework. i have friend but she is not feeling good either. i am scared talking bout how i feel. i do not know what is wrong with me i just do not wanna live like this anymore. my life is not anything like i thought it would be. ppl telling me it woul geet better but wheeennn. i am teen now it should be the best eyars of my life. know i should have so much fun and u know.. i am just tired of all this shit.

      i like smn but i don't know him. i think i like boy who i created in my fantasy. what the hell is happening to me?

    • profile image

      unknown 

      4 months ago

      can anyone help i have no reason to be sad and want to cry THIS much i mean its normal to cry every now & then but god i feel alone right now even though i have a group of people who can help its like i don't want help..... but i do... anyone else?

    • profile image

      lin 

      4 months ago

      hi Brynn you r going through the hard time i am going through i wish we can help one another pls tell me how we can communicate

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      Ahmed 

      4 months ago

      Ik this sounds kind of rude but it’s nice reading all those comments and realising I’m not the only one going through this, if we could all just connect in any way. We’re all suffering from the same thing, we have so much in common yet we are all lonely. If anyone wants to talk just message me on instagram @ sre._.l

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      Brynn 

      4 months ago

      I don’t know how to explain it except I am just depressed. I am nearing 14 and I have no real friends. I have one but she is the only person at school who will just talk to me. Everyone else just goes on about there day like nothing is wrong. I started to well... cut myself. But I am just sad and lonely I have tried to talk to my “friends”. But every time I try to they just walk away. I have told them how I feel and they brush it off like it’s nothing. I can’t anymore. Can’t deal with it. Help!

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      trishph 

      4 months ago

      i hate my self,, i dont know how to find my true happiness, i try but i feel something..

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      Blck24 

      4 months ago

      I'm a teen. I self-harm, but recently it just hasn't been as satisfying as it used to be. I currently just feel so empty and alone. I'm waiting for it to end, but I want to be there after I die, to see who, if anyone, really cares.

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      Khadijah 

      5 months ago

      I’m thirteen and I honestly just feel really lonely and I currently have like no friends and it’s just difficult because everyone just cares about your appearance and your ethnicity and feel like I’m not accepted and I don’t know what to do to just feel better

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      I need him 

      5 months ago

      I went to public school for a little and i meet this boy we are really good friends i like him alot but now im on home school and hes in public school

      Ps. Im in 6th grade middle school

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      kay 

      5 months ago

      I feel i'm over sensitive and is the reason i'm lonely. I'm in seventh grade and have many school relationships. When I get home from the end of the day my mom tells me things that I do wrong like she should, but they really aren't a big deal. I remember everything else why can't i remember the things she says? She also makes me feel like i'm the only person in the world who does this. This makes me feel sad alone and depressed. Along with this I feel i am mature but i can't talk to her. she is a aggressive monster in my head. get. her. out.

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      Michael 

      5 months ago

      being between 10 and 20 isn't fun. i'm 14, as an example.

      my life:

      nothing happens and you can't do anything and whenever i do something to make me feel better it just gives me time to think about what life was like when i was smaller and different choices i could have made and things i could have said and how my life isn't anything like i thought i would be at this point and how everything feels empty and i just want to tell people but i can't except in overly-dramatic internet comments and i can't help feeling sorry for myself and whenever i say anything about it i feel like im using being sad to get internet sympathy and i don't know who the school psychologist is because noone does and im too embarrassed to ask anyone and so i just become a cynical depressed teenager stereotype so noone takes what i say seriously and the only escapes i can think of either make me sadder or might mess my brain up because i'm still young

      i don't have a job, or a smartphone, or strong friend relationships, or a girl/boyfriend, or experience in anything that will be useful to adult me. and thinking about any and all of this just makes me wish even more that i could go back and be someone else. someone who wasn't so invested in school, so when i realised it was all pointless i had something in my life to fall back on. someone who grew up in a diverse suburb so i don't question whether i'm racist or not. someone who got out of the house once in a while to build friendships and explore the neighbourhood so I know where and who I live with. someone who wasn't so unassuming and cute and child-like when i was small, so when i say i care about money my parents think i know what i mean. someone who didn't have such a complicated mental picture of me and my brother, so I knew whether to be him or reject him or something in between.

      everyone has things about them they hate. everyone has emptinesses and regrets and wishes that they could go back in time.

      you either fight back and become a stereotypical rebellious teen, give up and become a stereotypical depressed teen, or give in and become a stereotypical cool teen. mix and match different ratios of the above on both the inside and outside of someone's personality, and you get a young public which doesn't know what it wants in the future, isn't prepared for the future, and is too indifferent to the future that they spiral into regret and reminiscence about their past.

      at least that's my look at it. personally, i love learning about and coming up with languages, which i guess is some psychological thing about my need to communicate with people and tell them about my problems and hear their problems and do something to help or be helped. either that or i just find languages interesting, you be the judge

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      5 months ago

      I recently had a fight with my friends. It started off with me texting hi on our chat. Then one of the girls texted back in a mean way and she started the fight out of nowhere. I thought she was my friend but obviously not. Then the other girl was a neutral at first but she ended up siding with her. Since this day I have hung out with different people but I feel like I don't fit in with this group. Sometimes I feel lonely and feel like crying. If u have any advice please help

    • profile image

      Kayle 

      7 months ago

      I feel empty and sad for no reason..when i think of reality and myself it gets worse..even if I'm trying to hide it...im so depressed i wanna cry but its like my tears are dried up... : (

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      Hayden 

      8 months ago

      Im a 8th grader who has friends and family bud no one to love iv been bullied iv been through rough times but the reason im here is i have no one to live for my friends have girl friends so does every one in school but not me i cant talk to my parents like how you can with a girlfriend i feel like i got a load and theres no where to put it.

    • profile image

      Aditya Pant 

      8 months ago

      I feel so much lonely... it’s like I want to die ... i want to cry.. i just want to die... no one understands.. am just a burden on this Earth... am going to commit suicide this mid night..

    • profile image

      Madhumita Bera 

      8 months ago

      I am 15. I have like typical indian parents who want like good grades all the time and i keep dissapointing them and the thing is everyone else in my class seems to be doing well in studies except me and it make me hate myself because I dont know why i suck at everything. I don't have like any best friend and the friends I have don't consider me as their best friends as well, and when ever i ask them for help if i dont undertsand things in class they either don't reply or just say like one word and it make me want to cry. Also the thing is evryone is supposed to be good at something and i am actually good at nothing, I don't look that good , and I am an introvert and I am a failure in life.

    • profile image

      Emma 

      9 months ago

      I feel lonely because I feel like I can't do anything

    • profile image

      Jason Covin 

      10 months ago

      Sad....

    • profile image

      Lonely teen 

      10 months ago

      I am in seventh grade. In fourth grade I got bullied, because I was different than my classmates. I escalated the problem and made up lies, but still, I was mistreated. I ended up moving schools in the middle of my fourth grade year. I was ten. Then I moved to a new school. The beginning was good - I made friends, experimented with different social groups, and then in fifth grade, I had found a large group to hang out with. But in sixth grade everything changed. My family is not allowed to listen to secular music or have social media, and that's all my class cared about. Also I am taller (real tall for that age- 5"3). I was so confused bc I had finally made friends. Now I am thirteen and in seventh grade, and I am getting bullied again and I sit alone at the lunch table with my twin. No one wants to work with me in class and be my friends. I tried everything. I invite people to hangout, and they reject. I am not overweight. I am 5"5, I have a nice figure, although smallish breasts, and 98 lbs. I eat healthy and excercise, love hanging out with my family, baking and doing art. I love English and bible studies (I go to religious school). Any advice? I feel like all the girls are pretty little things, dainty and girly, and I am too mature for them. I crave relationships and my social situation is taking a toll on my familial relations since I am irritable and grumpy at home :(

    • profile image

      Anon 

      10 months ago

      sometimes i feel lonely for no reason. on a night that i'm not talking to anyone, i feel like nobody is similar to me or even understands me, although the logical part of me knows that's not true. then again, that's a catch 22 because me thinking like that seems to be unique compared to the people that i know, and thought dilemmas like this make me feel even more sad and angry.

    • profile image

      11 months ago

      I want to share my problems but I don't know why I couldn't

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      Anonymous 

      11 months ago

      I feel sad

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      nina 

      12 months ago

      I immigrated to another country 1 year ago and i just miss family and friends but i know i need to move on and i want to and every time i think i have i just realise i never even took 1 step forward. And its hard because i don't have somebody with me to share all the great moments with and i don't trust anybody quick like i trusted my family and friends back home.

      And like i dont even know what i like doing and im just feel lost and confused about everything!!

      If you can help it would be really appreciated!!

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      Alan 

      17 months ago from Tasmania

      Zichepe, I hear you. I hope others will come in here and chat with you. Keep trying; have courage and don't dispare. Meanwhile, look after your own health. Maintain a healthy diet as best you can. You need your own mental and physical strength if you are to be of any help for another person in your life.

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      Zichepe 

      17 months ago

      Thank you all for posting. I believe this relates to my son 15. He is starting to open up but I have no tools to help him overcome the loneliness etc. Could someone connect with us at felistaszichepe@gmail.com

      I look forward to hearing from you.

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      Bambi 

      19 months ago

      Hi l am 17 years old .l m so lonely, and l don t know where l gonna make friends?

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      Kerrin 

      3 years ago

      I am going to be 16 years old in April and i have no friends i am home schooled till September and i am feeling so lonely when i see other people with their friends i feel even worse and i don't know how i should go about making friends because i don't know how to approach people i'm used to going to public school but we moved and now i just don't know what to do

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      Hi fluffy. We all need friends, that's for sure. I'm on my way out the door for a hectic 12 hour stint helping a friend and I hope someone else has time to write to you before I get back. (Sometimes friends can be a drain on your energy levels. lol.) Nice to meet you.

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      fluffy 

      3 years ago

      Family struggles have caused me to make drastic decisions and I am still 18-I no longer live at home and I'm still in high school with no job license or car and life for me has always been the lonely kind. My parents always where doing their own thing so I learned to do things by myself and with one parent dead and the other parent not speaking to me, I find myself being lonely lost and confused-and I find myself clinging more to those people who make me feel more comfortable, but I still get depressed when they have to leave. I feel like an idiot half the time because I don't know what I'm doing and the other half, I feel like a caged animal begging for attention.

      I do have a good support group but it doesn't seem like it's ever enough

      It's like life isn't worth it if there isn't anybody to share it with.

    • profile image

      @loner 

      3 years ago

      I am a fresher in college. I made two good girls friends. However when they meet up with the guys of our group they totally ignore me. What should I do?? I really need friends who will stay with me forever. I am the one who always has to start a conversation. People don't approach me on their own.

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      thanku :)

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      Hello manissha. I am pleased to hear you are feeling better. :) I hope you are happy on that forum or one like it. I'm sure there are lots of teenagers who feel lonely and ignored who will become friends to you online.

      Life is not always easy, manissha ... but there will always be someone who will talk to you and help you when you need it. Lots of people like me do care enough to take time out for a chat. You just have to reach out like you did. Somebody will stop and give you attention

      I wish you all the best for your life. :) Take care.

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      thanku so much i think now i gain my confidence back :) i checked the site it was gd i will wait for ur reply long time mother u have come as a light in my life bt words are not enough to say bt still i will say thanku

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      3 years ago from Tasmania

      manissha, what I am about to say might sound like it's too much like you would read in a text book, and therefore you might not believe it...but I will say it anyway:

      Sometimes the most difficult times can be essential for you to reach the best times. So, the path you are treading now, all that loneliness, will eventually be the experience which brings you the reward of treasured friendships. So .... hang in there, try to use your good sense and your intelligence to find ways to climb out of the "cave" you find yourself in right now.

      LongTimeMother has spoken a lot of sense, and she obviously has a lot, really a lot, of concern for you. Do keep in touch here with us readers, even when life begins to improve for you. Because your sharing here might just help some other person in a very similar situation to yourself.

      You are not alone, really; believe in your self and your own ability. Wishing you success and good friendships..... and don't forget the fun...try to get some of that, because as a young person you deserve it.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      lol. You wrote to me while I was writing to you. I had already looked ... but I didn't need to ask anyone. :)

      I am very happy that you feel more relaxed. Expressing your feelings is a good thing.

      If you discover a whole lot of teenagers to talk to on that forum, you might be too busy to come back and talk to me again ... but I will watch out, just in case. :) Bye for now.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      manissha, I just found one that has over 78,000 members and over 1 million posts. I scrolled all the way to the bottom of the page and there's heaps of posts from today. Lots of threads about lots of topics.

      http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/

      You can either be a member or a guest.

      I am hoping you might check it out and then come back here and write to tell us if it is a good site or not. I know you'd rather have friends in the real world, but maybe having some online teens to chat with will help you feel less lonely. And maybe it might help you to feel more confident at school as well.

      Would you please have a look and share your thoughts with me and others who come to this page?

      I will definitely check back for your thoughts after my busy day tomorrow. (Nearly 2 in the morning now and I have to be up and out in exactly 5 hours from now.)

      I would like to chat with you again. :) I will have a look here in case you've left a note tomorrow. Take care!

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      no dnt do this bt after chatting wid u i feel relax thanku so much m really feeling gd now for d 1 time i expressed my feelings to some 1 and the experience was awesome ;)

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      Surely there must be good websites or forums where teenagers can chat with each other ... just like I'm chatting with you now ... and share their sorrows.

      Have you heard of any, manissha? Would you like me to ask around and see if I can make any suggestions?

      If you think it is not a good idea, just tell me. But if the internet had been invented when I was a teenager, I'd have loved to chat with other teens in other countries. (lol! I learned to type on a manual typewriter and can remember being excited to use an electric typewriter. I feel like a dinosaur because you kids know so much about technology.)

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      loneliness

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      I remember being 15, and a few of my kids have passed the 15 year old mark. I can tell you it all gets much easier as you get older. Some of the annoying things we do (like getting angry about stupid things), we just grow out of.

      Other things we learn how to handle better.

      What's your biggest problem right now?

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      yes m 15 years old

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      How old are you? Do you go to school?

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      no nt wid my family bt i think peer presure disturbs me i have no friend wid whom i can share my sorrows

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      yes sure i want to talk i am very upset with my attitude i get irritate with pity things i feel no is there around me i just lonely i try to share it wid others bt i dnt know how to express my fellings :(

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      What are you angry about? Do you have problems with your family?

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      It is 1 o'clock in the morning, here but I will stay awake a while longer because I am wondering what pains your heart. Would you like to talk about it?

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      i live in India

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      moreover i cant control my anger i fell frustrated i want to change my attitude bt i dnt know how ?

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      You have my attention right now, manissha. Which country are you in? I am in Australia ... and happy to chat with you for a while. What's happening in your life?

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      i feel ignored

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      3 years ago from Australia

      What are you saying, manissha? Talk to us.

    • profile image

      manissha 

      3 years ago

      hy thanx for this inspiring article bt still i feel alone nd m going in darkness i cant feel anything i have lots of pains in my heart

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Tiara, I'm glad the article helped you! :) I wish you the best of luck!

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      4 years ago from Tasmania

      I would just like to add one more note to Alyssa.... on reading your last post again, something occurred to me: you write very well. You said you are home-schooled. Well that certainly seems to have paid off here at least! The grammar, spelling, punctuation are all pretty good and you have been able to express yourself and your feels well. (I was never anywhere near that good in my teens.)

      So, you are off to a good start in life. If you care to come back to this hub occasionally and let us know of any progress, that might give your fellow readers some encouragement, too.

    • profile image

      Tiara 

      4 years ago

      Hey! Thank you for this article! I'm 17 and feeling this kind of depression/loneliness. I thought I'm just the only one feeling like this! After reading this, I feel a bit comfortable right now... Thankyou again!):)

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      4 years ago from Tasmania

      Alyssa, I hope what I want to say now does not sound (again) like that "one-liner solution."

      Just that being 15 is not the time of life you need to feel "mature," or "with it," or to "know where you are going."

      I would see it as a time to learn lots of the basic things that might be of use to you in life. You can't know what will be useful, or when it might arise.... but having lots of little skills, or at least the beginnings of those skills, under you skin, can give you a bit of a focus.

      Let's suggest a few of them. Learning to touch-type. It does not look like the standard QWERTY keyboard will go out of fashion soon. And once you have got the pattern of working your fingers to the tune of your mind it will always come back to you when required, no matter how long you live. Your typing will become more accurate. You will eventually have your fingers typing what you are thinking, and just as fast. This is a skill you could pick up in a few weeks if you are persistent and disciplined at it. (I would suggest going out to a course, rather than doing it at home off the Internet. You said you need company, this might be one way of getting it.) Maybe you already do touch type. If so that is excellent.

      Then there is a basic personal economics course....learning to manage your finances. Start now, and you will continue learning this skill for your whole life.... because you will always make mistakes, no matter how much you think you know. And the lessons will help you recover and survive from mistakes.... that is one of the biggest lessons of life for survival.

      Not aiming to become expert at anything, or being a "trainee manager," because that needs you to have experience on the bottom rung or the ladder.

      Look around for other skills you think might be appropriate. You never know what's just around the corner.

      I just hope these ideas are food for thought. Work out whatever fits for you at this time, and go for it.

      Wishing you well.

    • profile image

      Alyssa 

      4 years ago

      Thank you. You're right about the one liner thing; I've learned that the hard way, searching the internet for answers. I'm 15, so unforuntely right in the middle of the teenage years. A few years ago I was in bad depression. I had lots of online friends back then, but we fought a lot (we were all kind of immature) so that didn't help. I was depressed about that, and how pathetic I was (being shy, losing my friends (eventually they stopped going on the website and I fell out with my last friend that was left), being weak, among other things). In 2012, after I had lost all my friends, I found something to help me cope. I found a tv show. That got me out of depression if you can believe it. In 2013, I started becoming more mature and decided to start changing things, like working on the whole shy issue. You can't make your life better if you don't do anything about it right? I made a friend like I mentioned. I'm also not as shy as I once was. As you can see though, I struggle a lot... the mood swings associated with being a teenager doesn't help. In late 2013 and early 2014 being lonely started getting to me more and I started distracting myself from it without realizing it. I did that with books and tv shows. After I would get done with the book or tv show though I would become depressed. Right now I'm trying to rely less on those things, and more with real life. It's hard though because I'm homeschooled and can't really make friends. I always feel awkward around people anyway; I feel like they'll get mad at me for no good reason or that I need to act a certain way for them to like me. I used to go to public school and I'm thinking about going to a class or two in a school again in the fall... honestly though it scares me. Sometimes I think I'll be able to do it, maybe make a friend, but then other times I think I'll just be alone with people excluding me like when I used to go to public school.

      You seem to have survived though so hopefully I will be able to survive too haha.

      Also, I'm happy to have found a site like this. A few weeks ago I was feeling worse than ever... I felt like there was nothing good about the world, nothing will change, etc. More than anything I wanted someone to talk to about it. My family was out of the question because I just feel awkward talking to them... I didn't want to bother my friend either since she was busy. So that left me with nobody but myself to talk to. Luckily I got over that bout of depression. I should probably stop before this gets any longer haha.

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      4 years ago from Tasmania

      Alyssa, it's good and sensible that you had the courage to post here. I hear what you are saying. If there is anything more you feel a need to chat about, both I and several others will pick up on your post.

      It's not good us saying glib one-liner problem solvers to you, they don't usually help. But if you have an urge to share more of your situation here, in public but anonymously, that can sometimes help others too. People might pick up on something you say and suddenly realise that they have perhaps a similar situation, or it triggers a link to something else they can do to improve things for themselves.

      Just knowing your age would be a help when people offer you a reply.

    • profile image

      Alyssa 

      4 years ago

      I just wanted to say thank you to everybody that has posted here -- I was feeling lonely again like I always do, and I managed to stumble upon this blog. It made me realize some things that I never considered or forgot... I only have one friend who is an internet friend and I don't get to talk to her often anyway because she's busy with school... I don't fit in anywhere (I don't really want to fit it anyway; just accepted) so I often end up feeling this way. I'm shy so talking doesn't come easy for me. I'm trying to work on it but it's a slow process.... it's a constant battle for me; always struggling to be happy but failing often. Anyway, I'm rambling but again thank you. :)

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      hopefully it will just be a phase or just a bad period of your life, but remember to keep your head high and things will get better. I've experienced that as well and sometimes you need to be alone and have time for yourself and to think about things :) I'm sure everything will be okay

    • profile image

      Someone 

      4 years ago

      I have felt like shit lately ... I have been through a tough patch and seem to be more analysing so I used to be pretty cool but now it seems like i have been driving people away and m feeling quite lonely ...... Seems hell

    • profile image

      help pl 

      4 years ago

      i have read the comments on here and rwally need someone to help me..my daughter has been telling vicious lies about me saying i beat her and don't care and i just don't know what to do..i want to help her but don't know how can anyone help me pl

    • profile image

      Lizbeth 

      4 years ago

      Hi, im dating an older guy im 15 hes 19 .... My mom and family all know about him i really do like him i just don't like the fact that he could go to jail my mom has anger problems she gets mad at me and my brothers for no reason i feel so alone some times .. I've tried to commit suicide before its not fun ... Idk what to do anymore

    • profile image

      Sarah 

      4 years ago

      I'm in high school and my best friends are the year above me, the group of girls I sit with now are so fake a part from one of them,so I've been attempting to change groups of friends that I sit with and talk to. The group I'm trying to get to know are very close so it will take time but I just feel really lonely, girls that I use to call friends don't seem to want to talk to me and I know it's probably for the best if that's how they are but I still feel lonely a lot thinking about going to school with no real group of friends, especially since I have a few years to go still.

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hey @Maddie ! I am so sorry you feel this way. Probably it is not that your friends don't consider you, but if they really do, then they absolutely do not deserve you as a friend! I mean it when I say that I completely understand how you feel and please, if there is ANYTHING you would like to talk about, I am here to help you!

      I know that sometime it is hard, but keep strong and be confident because it is just a hard phase in your life. I promise it will get better. Just give it time. Please e-mail me or inbox me for anything else or if you simply want someone to talk to or be listened :)

    • profile image

      Maddie 

      4 years ago

      At school I feel unappreciated and feel invisible. My 2 closest friends in my form have a very close relationship and I feel like the 3rd wheel. If something was to happen to me I don't think they would care. I have very low self confidence and am very shy. I have one close friend in another form who I feel cares about me but sometimes I feel like no one even cares.....

    • profile image

      uma sabo 

      4 years ago

      If this is a dream believe me i don't wish to wake up,After 10years relationship with my lover Tom Walker he just decided to have a divorce with me because he was having an affair with another lady and the lady told him to break up with me so she can come and took my position when Tom told me that he was no longer interested that he is tired of me i was like after 10years now you are tired of me so the next thing was a letter from the lawyer saying Tom said he needs a divorce when i saw the letter tears rushed out of my eye i composed my self and said wow this world has around turned round against me.So i decided to try all my possible best until one day when i was listen to the radio where i saw people giving testimony how there divorce was cancelled within 24 hours i was like this is same problem am having i just say people testifying in the name of this great man called Dr sabo for what he has done for them how he has helped them to bring back there lover i waited for the problem to finish and they dropped Dr sabo cell number and email,Immediately i gave dr sabo a call and shared my problem with him he just told me not worry that he assures me that Tom will tell the lawyer to cancel the divorce within 24 hours really what Dr sabo said came to past within the 24 hours was a call from tom crying that he his just coming from the lawyers office that he does not need a divorce anymore that he wants me back home that he his sending that lady away so when he said that i was so happy now Tom came home brought all document and told the lawyer that he his willing everything to me and that he wants me to be the right owner of everything he owns i was so happy,I bless the day i meant dr sabo meeting him was never a regret please clean your tears dr sabo is here to solve your problem you can contact him on umasabotraditionalhomes01@gmail.com

      Name:Jasmine Berries Country Canada

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Angela, sorry for the late reply, yes I am happy to share my hub with you :) No problem, glad I could help.

    • profile image

      Angela 

      4 years ago

      Dear randomizing,

      unfortunately, the email function didn't work so I have to post here. I wanted to ask you for your kind permission using excerpts of your article for my English lessons in some classes. I think it meets their emotions and makes them to work more intensely with an English text. Please kindly let me know if this is fine with you. Thanks, Angela

    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      Jaded 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      @mashmallw pwnxess

      If you ever want to message me privately and talk about ANYTHING.. I am here to listen to you and help you. I have been through some stuff myself and I'b be more than happy to listen and hopefully make you feel better. :)

      Just remember you are not alone and people are willing to help if you let them :)

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      4 years ago from Tasmania

      mashmallw, I hear you! Can I say what I think you are saying?

      Are you saying this: "I want to live a life that I really enjoy living. I want a life I can share with other people." I bet you are. I want this for you too. And if you look through every other post in this thread you will maybe find someone else who is thinking a bit like you.

      You are NOT totally alone, but it can feel like that sometimes. Especially when you tell yourself you are alone.

      I am old and I have known being alone.... really alone. But right now, the sun IS shining. The day IS good. I just have to be patient, because not every day is sunny, and not every day is good.

      Please, keep talking here. There are others who will read what you say. We will listen to you.

    • profile image

      mashmallw pwnxess 

      4 years ago

      its really lonely being a teen.....i wish i cud die...but neither i want to die or neither wornt to be alive....wat to do guyxxx???

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      4 years ago from Tasmania

      Hi Jane.... how is life working out for you?

    • profile image

      jane 

      4 years ago

      hi.....

    • who-is-william profile image

      who-is-william 

      4 years ago

      Loneliness and depression can have similar feelings for a person, also loneliness can cause depression. I'm not sure if it's a 'phase' in life because you can feel or be lonely at any age or at any time. I'm lonely for about 2 years now, actually I've been lonely for all my life, it's just now that I'm really realizing it, 18 years old now and I feel like I'm in this vicious circle which I'll never come out. No Money - No Friends

      - Loneliness - Depression - No Money .. etc, etc..

      I just don't know what to do.

      Every time I watch videos from YMCMB I try to imagine how much better my life would be if I had the same amount of cash that they have on my bank account.

    • livinggood profile image

      Robert Thomas 

      5 years ago from California

      I too was a lonely teenager and it almost destroyed me. It took over 20 years of drugs and alcohol to finally realize that it was all my fault that I was lonely. I had allot of friends, but I did not hang out with them do to depression. Instead I would drink and get high. Don't let this happen to your life.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      5 years ago from Australia

      Hi Rekha. That's very true! :)

    • profile image

      Rekha Bhatt 

      5 years ago

      I liked this hub very much.

      Not only teenagers but sometimes elder people also feel lonely.

      Thanks for posting.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      5 years ago from Australia

      Hey jonnycomelately. It is 2 o'clock in the morning where I live, so I'm pretty darned sure it is 2am in Tasmania as well. lol.

      I tried to play that link but it has the audio blocked. I was wondering if its because I'm in oz, but if it works for you it should work for me. Hmmm. I'll try it again in the morning. Thanks.

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      5 years ago from Tasmania

      LongTimeMother, you have hit on some wonderful insights here :)

      I don't know if any of you people have seen this video clip, but it brought tears to my eyes. (Hope people seeing it on Ipods or small screens can get as much out of it as I did. It also helps to have good sound, like using headphones.)

      http://www.youtube.com/v/1eXS0o6r-Wk%26rel%3d0%26h...

      The lesson it brought to me was: We never know what great experience is just around the corner..... so keep open to the unexpected!

      I loved the way that Silver Back guided one of his offspring with his hand.... don't think I look quite like him if I walk on my hands and knees, but not very different! And the feeling I get from his careful protection that wells up in me. It's that need for a caring family, isn't it? We all need it, and I am hoping you lonely teenagers can sample a little of it.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 

      5 years ago from Australia

      Hey, teenagers, I'm back to check how everyone is doing. I was hoping there might be a few updates from people like Brett and Jenny. Pleased to see a few more teens have stopped in and left a comment.

      That's great. You want to talk, there's people here listening. Not judging, just listening.

      What a brilliant place you've created here randomizing. I've voted you up and awesome again!

      I also want to express my huge respect for jonnycomelately. Thanks, jcl, for responding so promptly to the people who leave messages here.

      For those of you have read all the comments on this page, including jonnycomelately talking about his childhood in England, I don't know if you know where Tasmania is, but it's in Australia. I'm willing to bet money that when he was young in England he never thought he'd be living on the other side of the world.

      I grew up here in Australia, but I lived in the UK for a few years and I've spent quite a lot of time in other countries including the US. Never thought I would when I was a kid.

      Life is full of great things that we don't see coming when we're young and stuck in lives that feel like we're smothering.

      What a shame we don't have a crystal ball that tells us what the future holds, and what we can look forward to. I wish when I was a miserable teenager, someone had said to me "Hang in there, kid. One day you're going to see inside the Queen's Chamber of the Great Pyramid in Egypt. Stick around, because you're not going to want to miss it."

      I wouldn't have believed them. Not in a million years. But I have in fact been inside the Queen's Chamber in the Great Pyramid, and I've travelled down the River Nile. When I was at school, hating history and geography, I never saw that trip coming. lol.

      Once a lonely kid feeling just as bad as you teenagers do now, I never thought for a minute that I'd have an exciting life. I wasn't sure I'd have any life. But I am SO glad that I had a chance to get past the black and ugly parts and into the really nice, bright places that you can reach when you're an adult.

      Tell us your problems, and we'll see if we can offer some kind of helpful advice. At least you'll know we are listening.

      I wrote a hub a while back for teenagers who are feeling so depressed that it is hard to imagine any kind of future. I don't think I'm supposed to promote it here, but what the heck, you kids are worth any scolding that I get, so here's the link ...

      http://longtimemother.hubpages.com/hub/Important-M...

      Have a look at it. There's a whole list of successful adults who looked and felt like complete failures when they were young. There's no reason why each and every one of you can't be just as successful in the future.

      Actually, I think anyone who is reading this page has a very good chance of getting through your difficult lonely stage and doing great things. Why? Because you're smart enough to be on the internet looking for help and ideas. To me, that shows great spirit.

      Whether you leave a comment on a hub page or not, you just have to know that there are people out here in the world who genuinely care, and want you to be strong and hang in there.

      I've been a mother for a long time now. I've seen a lot of teenagers near rock bottom who became spectacular adults living happy lives with their own kids years later. That's what I'm expecting will happen for you. You just have to allow yourself to grow into the adult that you're going to be. It won't take as long as you think. I promise.

      Good luck. xxx

    • jonnycomelately profile image

      Alan 

      5 years ago from Tasmania

      I do understand you.... you are not alone, and you are not peculiar..... you are a normal lovely person. There is a special place in this world which you are the best person to fill..... it might mean a long search for you, or you might find that special space in a very quick search. Just be courageous and search... there is a victory waiting for you to put in the effort.

      You have put a lot of your truth and honesty into this sentence. I really admire you for that. So keep trying, never stop, never get low because you think there's something wrong with you. You are a normal person, and with your honesty you will find someone to support you through the difficult times.

      Please, keep coming back to HubPages. There are others here who will be very happy to talk with you. I for one do not look down on you. I admire you for having the guts to talk about your problems.

    • profile image

      ... 

      5 years ago

      I feel like that sometimes, especially on weekends. I try reading and listening to music or go on youtube to distract myself but it doesn't really work...

      i don't think i have a problem but i use to though. I suffered depression and anxiety for two years mostly because of friendship problems and afraid of how people view me when i talk to them

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