The bottom line is if your children are self-sufficient and able to take care of themselves, maybe it is time for that conversation about leaving. That doesn't make you a bad mom. It lets them know that they have alternatives if they are not going to respect your home. It also lets them see that you can set boundaries with them and not let them continue to take you for granted. With that said, I also suspect that there's a part of you that isn't ready to let go. Of course, they are still young and most kids in their twenties these days are not ready to move out. So the dilemma lies within you: assess your readiness to encourage independence while setting strong boundaries and limits about how they treat you. Give them opportunities to take on responsibilities if they want to stay there. This will allow you and your children to prepare for adulthood and work toward becoming more respectful to you and responsible for themselves.