I feel like my dad doesn't love or care about me. I see other kids that are happy, and they spend time with their parents. I do stuff right, but he still finds a way to yell at me. He tells me not to eat, which makes me want to starve to death. I can't have friends without him making racist comments. I can't do anything in his mind, and I wish that my dad would care and love me as other dads love their children. Why is my dad like this?

Answer

I’m so sorry you’re one of the millions of kids with a dad who is really hard to live with. I know it doesn’t seem fair. Your father is teaching you what NOT to do with your own kids when you are older.

Please remember to make mental notes so you’re a better parent than your dad.

Meanwhile, you have no choice but to cope the best you can. You need to be mature enough to know how and when to ignore your father.

Your mission is to avoid clashing with your father if you can and look after yourself until you’re old enough to leave home and start having fun as a young adult.

You have to eat. Feed your body and your brain. There’s nothing to be gained from starving yourself. Just more trouble, more hassles, and more mental and emotional anguish. You don’t want to make things worse than they are.

Study and prepare yourself for some kind of great career where you make plenty of money as an adult.

Make friends and value their friendship, even if you can’t invite them to your home when your dad’s there. Maybe you can visit their homes instead, especially if they’re lucky enough to have good dads.

My husband is the kind of dad all kids wish they had, and he always welcomes our kids’ friends. They can visit, share meals, and stay the night with us.

I’m a mother who deliberately set out to create a very different home for my kids, compared to the unhappy home I was raised in. As a child, I wasn’t allowed to visit friends or have kids come to visit. My family home felt like a prison, and I can’t honestly remember my parents ever laughing.

But my home now I’m an adult is filled with love and laughter. It’s great!! I always end phone calls with my adult kids (and the one remaining teenager) with ‘Love you!’ which is something never said in my childhood home.

I want you to make it your long-term goal to be a happy, loving adult with your own happy, loving kids with a happy, loving partner, just like I have.

You just have to survive the miserable years of living in your childhood home before you get to the fun and excitement that’s waiting for you.

You can do it, just like I did and millions of other kids in the same unfortunate position. I’m sure it feels like it will take ‘forever’ to become independent, but before you know it you’ll be as old as I am, and your unhappy childhood will just be a distant memory. Eat, study, stay strong, and dream of your happy future!

Updated on May 30, 2018

Original Article:

I Hate My Dad—Trouble at Home
By LongTimeMother
working

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