You seem to know yourself well and have a lot of insight about your feelings, motives, and behaviors. If your jealousy and over-protectiveness are distressing you or are causing friction in your marriage, then seeking therapy (online or in person) would be the prudent thing to do. A good cognitive therapist could help you change your thinking when you’re feeling distressed by your husband’s social interactions.
If your husband wants children and you don’t, then marriage counseling would be beneficial. You and he need to be on the same page before bringing a baby into the world. As any parent will tell you, a youngster changes a marriage dramatically and requires an enormous amount of time, energy, and resources. If you don’t want your husband’s attention to be subdivided, you shouldn’t get pregnant. If you want a marriage in which you two can be 100 percent devoted to one another, then remaining childless is the way to go.
By reading this article and asking this question, you realize deep-down that you’d like help with these struggles. Being angry and jealous is no way to go through life and you deserve some relief. Sarah Fields said: “Hate is just a bodyguard for grief. When people lose the hate, they are forced to deal with the pain underneath.” These feelings about your husband can be an opportunity to deal with the hard emotions that stem from never having known your dad. I wish you well on this journey.