It is very painful to have a child that you've sacrificed for to become such an unpleasant person to live with. Giving a child choices is generally a good thing if it teaches them to make good choices. Right now, your daughter is an adult and her attitude is showing she is making poor choices. You may not be able to change those poor choices, but you can make her have consequences for poor choices. I don't know your circumstances, or whether your daughter is working or in school, but you certainly should be able to figure out some consequences for her not complying with the rules you establish for your home. The best sort of consequences are tied to something the person cares about. Perhaps that can be tied to giving her money, or requiring her to pay rent. Or it could be consequences related to privileges like having a car or even continuing to live in your home. It may also help to sit down with her and talk about why she is behaving this way. You might want to make a contract with her about expectations and consequences.