You’re astute to appreciate how this is negatively impacting your relationships, your self-confidence, and your autonomy. You’re in a situation at home where you have little power and that often leads to despair. Because both of your parents are doing the name-calling, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed while they’re feeling emboldened by one another.
In homes where there is abuse (whether it’s verbal, physical, psychological, or sexual), members are often isolated from their extended families and the surrounding community. I’m hoping that this is not true in your case, though, and that you can reach out to other caring adults for support. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles can intervene on your behalf by speaking with your parents about the name-calling. They can encourage them to get help by seeking therapy or taking parenting classes.
As much as I admire your desire to stay nice, open, and gentle, it will be nearly impossible to do so while living in such a brutal environment. There’s no doubt that your parents’ harsh words will change who you are and break your spirit. That’s why I’m hoping that you can move in with extended family or a friend’s family until your parents get help. You deserve to be living in a place where you feel safe, loved, and respected. Your parents are incapable of providing it at this time so I recommend that you live elsewhere.