My 14-year-old daughter states she hates her Dad but says he’s done nothing wrong. She won’t talk or answer him when he asks her questions. She doesn’t want to be in the same room and even goes the roundabout way in the house to avoid him. She will ask me to tell him about her day, but when I start to tell him, she corrects me and takes over telling her Dad. They talk and laugh briefly and then she leaves and continues to ignore him. Do you have any ideas what’s going on?

Answer

It could be one of a number of things. At 14 kids seem to feel the need to have the same problems as their friends. If her friends are avoiding their fathers, she might be doing the same thing so that she has a story to tell. Maybe it’s ‘cool’ in her group to hate their fathers.

If I were you I’d be asking ‘Do you hate all men or just your dad?’ If she says all men, you need to figure out why. If she says ‘Just dad,’ you might have a problem.

‘There must be a reason. It wouldn’t be fair to hate your father without reason. So tell me. Should I hate him too?’

Give her a chance to talk. Keep asking, ‘Anything else?’ Tell her if she hates him you need to understand why. If there’s no immediate problem revealed, tell her you hope she’s going to either talk to you properly soon so you can understand or mellow out and stop the drama.

You could say, ‘The time is going to come in your life when you’ll look back at being 14 and wish you did things differently. So if you think you’re making some mistake right now, now is the time to change it. If you hate your dad, tell me why. If you don’t really hate him, it is time to stop acting like you do. It really isn’t fair to him or me.’

Updated on March 21, 2018

Original Article:

I Hate My Dad—Trouble at Home
By LongTimeMother
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