My dad left my mum when she was pregnant. I have never met my dad before. I want to find him, but people are telling me he died from sickness. Some part of me doesn't want to believe that until I see it for myself. How am I supposed to find him now?

Answer

You can hire a detective when you become an adult. Today, with the use of the internet, they need nominal information to find someone, whether dead or alive. However, I caution you to give this careful consideration before moving forward.

If you have a loving, supportive mother and extended family, you should be mindful of their opinions regarding this man. They may very well be protecting you from getting hurt by him, knowing he's a person of low character. You already know that he abandoned your pregnant mother so he was obviously not a strong, responsible guy. Moreover, he never returned to see you, get in touch with you, or contribute to your well-being.

You should also keep in mind how painful it might be for your mom if you seek out this guy. After all, she's been the one who stayed, sacrificed, and struggled to make a good life for you. He was merely the sperm donor.

Whatever you decide, don't let your preoccupation with finding him stall your life. Young women often do this because they're afraid of all the challenges before them: getting educated, starting a career, building friendships, becoming financially independent, and pursuing romantic relationships. It's easier and safer to stay stuck in the past, pining for the Daddy they never had. It has the potential to stunt their development and cause them a lot of heartache.

It sounds like you and your mom need to have a good long talk about all of this.

Updated on March 9, 2020

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers
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