My dad was in my life for years, up until late 2016. All his broken promises and lies are mentally tearing me down. He fell in love with some woman who doesn't like us. He takes everything out on me and told me some mean or harsh things when I was little. I am thinking about telling him to never talk to me again. I'm never as happy as I used to be. I've been deeply depressed for 3 years now, a daughter in distress. Please, what do I do?

Answer

You need to make yourself a priority now and plan for your future. As such, it seems like your father has no place in your life at this time. He's not functioning as a good parent and is even detrimental to your well-being. He was selfish to marry (and stay married to) someone who doesn't like his children. While it's easy to peg her as the bad guy, it's actually your father who is 100 percent responsible for the situation he created.

You have your whole life in front of you with new friendships to make, new romances to embrace, and new opportunities to explore. The last thing you want to do is get stuck in this emotional turmoil with your dad. He's made his choices and now it's your time to make yours. Hopefully, you'll make better ones that don't create so much heartache for others.

Women get depressed when they feel helpless and immobile. Once you start taking steps to seize control of your destiny, you'll feel much better. If you feel it necessary, please set up sessions to talk with a therapist in person or online. Any positive steps forward—talking to a counselor, writing in a journal, beginning an exercise routine, meditating, praying, changing your diet, taking long walks in nature—will lighten your mood and make you feel empowered.

When I was in therapy, my counselor said something to me that made all the difference. It was: “Depression is angry toward inward.” That was so true for me. Once I acknowledged, verbalized, and dealt with my rage, I felt much better. If you admit how angry you are with your dad for being a lousy parent, you'll feel better.

You are now the architect of your life. You choose who's a part of it and who's not. You chose the path you wish to travel.

Updated on March 24, 2020

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers
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