My father hasn't been participating in my life ever since he broke up with my mother (divorced). I have insecurity and trust issues when it comes to men, causing me to doubt my worth as a woman. I always suck up to men because I desire a man's love, which I've never felt. How do go about fixing myself and my daddy issues?


Unlike many fatherless daughters who engage in destructive behaviors with little insight, you see what you're doing wrong. Most significantly, you realize that the only way to make it better is by changing yourself. With that goal in mind, you now need to put in the hard work to get it done.

Men are an easy distraction from achieving our goals. What if you resolved to take romantic relationships off your agenda for one year to focus on yourself? That would be an amazing gift and would set you up for more happiness and tranquility in the years to come.

The only way to build your self-worth is to become proud of yourself by setting and achieving goals. Take a hard look at your life and make a list of 10 aims for the year. They could include activities such as signing up for some classes at the community college, looking for a new job, going to the gym, writing daily in a journal, joining a church, reading one book per week, learning ballroom dancing, taking vegan cooking classes, building friendships, volunteering in your community or whatever you feel is necessary to make yourself more self-assured. What specific goals could you accomplish that would make you say to yourself, “Wow, I can't believe I stuck with that and made it a reality. I'm awesome!”

When you feel more confident about yourself, you'll attract a higher quality of men. You won't need guys to make you feel good about yourself because you already will. You won't be looking for a father figure to take care of you because you'll already be taking care of yourself.

The spiritual life coach, Iyanla Vanzant, said: “When life removes something from you, it's not helpful to go chase it down and get it back. “ Instead, accept the fact that your dad was absent in your life and no man will ever replace him. Grieve that loss but don't make being a fatherless daughter your identity. Use positive self-talk to encourage and comfort yourself. I wish you well.

Updated on November 19, 2019

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers

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