While understanding your desire to do this, I would suggest it's not the best way to heal and move forward with your life. It would be much healthier for you to have a ceremony or perform a ritual where you forgive your father and release yourself from the pain he's caused you That would be the best gift you could give yourself. Forgiving your dad will ultimately bring you the peace, freedom, and joy you're seeking.
Sometimes it's better to let something go than to cling to it. If you say goodbye to your dad—to this person you never knew but caused you so much pain—you can free up the space he's taking up in your heart and your mind and make room for people and things that really matter. If you accept that the past cannot be changed and stop fighting it, you will have newfound hope for what tomorrow can bring.
The spiritual counselor, Iyanla Vanzant, says: “What you focus on, grows!” If you put your energies into the hate you feel toward your dad, you'll become contaminated by it. It will hurt you, not him. Forgiving your father is all about liberating yourself and letting yourself live in the here and now.
My recommendation is to make a list of five people who've stuck with you through thick and thin. Go to the store and select five beautiful cards for them—each one unique. Then write a note in each one, thanking that individual for impacting your life in a positive, loving way while being as specific as possible.
This would be so much more empowering to you, focusing on your blessings and not your misfortune. It would also bring some much-needed joy into this world. Being grateful is the most effective tool we have to improve our lives.