My father left my mom when I was 5 years old. He has another family and never spoke with me or my sister after he left. I don't know whether I'm affected by his absence. Are women always affected by their father's absence?


There are no absolutes for fatherless daughters. Several, in fact, have written to say that they're doing extremely well and are offended by the suggestion that they've been negatively impacted by their dad's absence in any way. I take them at their word and am happy for them.

I imagine that your mother is a big reason why you're doing well. When moms are open and honest about a dad's weaknesses (his hardheartedness, irresponsibility, self-absorption, addictive personality, etc.), they let their daughters off the hook for his behavior. Because kids are naturally egocentric and believe everything revolves around them, this is an enormous relief to them. They no longer blame themselves, jumping to the conclusion that they're unlovable and unworthy.

After reading my article, you're now aware of the pitfalls that some fatherless daughters encounter. Setting goals and working hard to achieve them, practicing daily self-care, expressing their emotions, and building a solid support system are crucial for them. As they begin to date, it's essential that they don't use guys as an escape from life's challenges--an easier option than striving for an independent life. It's imperative that they develop their own self-worth and not think a man can provide it.

The spiritual author and speaker, Bryon Katie, says: “To believe that you need what you don't have is the definition of insanity.” It's certainly true that some fatherless daughters drive themselves crazy and make themselves miserable by pinning their failed relationships, career disappointments, and unhealthy lifestyle choices on their dad's absence.

If you struggle in the future, don't hesitate to talk with a therapist. We all lose our way at times and a professional can help us get back on track. You may want to read my article entitled: “5 Ways for a Fatherless Daughter to Recover From Her Dad's Rejection.”

Updated on February 5, 2020

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers

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