My father passed away. I had just turned 10. Ever since then, things have gone down hill. I had a baby at 18. How can I learn to not be so mad anymore or be scared for my baby?

Answer

Feeling angry is actually a healthy response, especially when it propels you to take action. Denying your emotions or bottling them up is the worst choice because it can lead to depression. Keep feeling all your feelings, talking about them, and writing about them.

Instead of mourning your dad, you may have skipped that essential stage and gone straight into a rage. Have you taken the time to process his loss and all the bad things that came about because of it? Sarah Fields said: “Hate is just a bodyguard for grief. When people lose the hate, they are forced to deal with the pain underneath.”

As you plan a future for you and your baby, start becoming intentional about your actions. Make plans for your future. Set goals and have a list of things to accomplish each day in order to reach them. Once you're in control of your destiny and stop blaming others, your anger will subside.

As a young mother, you need a support system. Whether it's your family, the family of the baby's father, friends, or the community at large, you need to reach out for help. Staying isolated is defeating, especially for new moms who may be suffering from postpartum depression. Join activities at the local hospital, through your parks and recreation department, or at a fitness center (exercise is wonderful for lifting our spirits). Talk to your doctor for advice and resources.

Open up to people. Be vulnerable and share your story. Once you begin to build a caring community of folks around you and your child, you won't be so scared...for yourself or your baby. Being a parent is an overwhelming responsibility so don't hesitate to reach out for help.

Updated on November 8, 2019

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers
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