You have experienced an enormous amount of trauma and heartache with your mother’s death and your father’s abandonment. If you haven’t already received professional help, please work with a therapist (either online or in-person). This is too much for you to try to handle on your own. Since I don’t know in which areas you’re struggling, I can’t offer any useful advice other than this. Please get started now so you find peace and acceptance and can move forward with your life.
My father has been in and out of my life. He told me when I was 15 that I was one of the reasons he was unhappy and left us. He also told me to never have children. I don’t know how to move on from this. If I ever try to bring up the pain that he has caused me, he gets angry and sad and tells me I’m the reason I’m sad and I should move on. Please could you tell me how to move on?
I've seen my father only 3 times. He has kids with another woman and lives with and cares for them. He hasn't reached out to me for 10 years. Then, all of a sudden, he wanted to be back in my life (turns out it was for money). How can I forgive and forget to get that pain out of my heart? I’m tired of questioning myself “Am I not good enough?” My self-esteem was so low at one point because of him that I wanted to kill myself.
My father was incarcerated for the majority of my life. He never seemed to care about us and was only ever thinking of himself. At one point, he tried to get rid of us and my mom when I was little. Now that we are growing up he wants to participate in our lives. I feel like he is only acting as a father when he wants to and it does truly hurt. Is it okay to NOT want to see him and be involved with him? He wasn't ever here and now he is. I just don't want to get hurt.
I am illegitimate. My father left when my mother said that she was pregnant. She didn't like me because I looked like him. There were no other family members: no cousins, grandparents, aunts or uncles. I'm tired of seeing photos of my friends with their parents or grandparents who doted on them. They feel more solid than I am. I feel like I have no core, no sense of self. Just a big dull pain. I'm older, and it still hurts. What can I do to feel whole?
I never knew my father, but I'm married now. I tend to be angry when people get close to my husband. I'm so over-protective of him. I always want to be the one he loves more. I don't even want to have children because I feel like they will take away the love that my husband has for me. Do you think that I need help?
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