My father was very loving until I turned 12 years old. Out of the blue, he hated me, and he became my enemy. Why does he love my sisters, but does not love me? He always said I was the weakest and the stupidest. How can I heal that rejection?

Answer

I'm so sorry, but there is a big piece of the puzzle missing here so I can't be of much help. People don't change radically as you suggest your father did, suddenly turning from a loving dad to one who hates you without explanation. Unless someone is using illegal substances or has developed a brain tumor, we humans are pretty consistent in our personalities and behaviors.

It's true that some dads turn away from their daughters when they start puberty, develop breasts and curves, and take an interest in boys. These fathers don't know how to relate to their daughters when they start becoming women. They may feel guilty that they find their own daughter attractive and sexually appealing. They slowly drift away and leave the parenting to the moms. However, this doesn't seem to be the case with you because it sounds like your dad stayed close with your sisters.

Another possibility is that something about your personality triggers your dad. He sees something in you that reminds him of himself—something he doesn't like and feels needs to be changed. Unable to look inward, he chooses to distance himself from you.

If you still have a relationship with your father, it's time to open up to him about your feelings. Give him a chance to explain his side of the story. Talk with your sisters as well and get their perspective. If everyone is highly motivated, you can start family therapy with a professional who can facilitate effective communication among all of you.

I wish I could be more helpful, but I don't understand what happened that would make your dad change so suddenly and dramatically. A therapist could help you get to the root of the problem because there must be a lot more to the story. Best to you as you move forward in the healing process. My article entitled “5 Steps to Heal Her Pain: How a Fatherless Daughter Can Move on From a Dad's Rejection” may also be helpful.

https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/How-Ab...

Updated on January 6, 2019

Original Article:

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing up Without a Dad Affects Women
By McKenna Meyers
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