Instead of being petrified, share this article with your daughter and discuss with her the pitfalls that she may encounter. She probably has friends who are already struggling with some of these problems but don’t necessarily connect them with being fatherless. When young women know what to expect, they’re better prepared to meet the moment and stay focused on their goals.
Your daughter needs to know that she can open up and be vulnerable with you. Sadly, I hear from many fatherless daughters who can’t do this with their mothers and, therefore, feel alone and misunderstood. When they want to talk about their dad’s absence and its negative impact on them, they’re met with anger and defensiveness from their moms.
It’s helpful when moms admit the mistake that they made in having sex with a man who was ill-suited to be a parent. If they apologize for it and acknowledge the hurt that they’ve caused, they open the door for real conversation and truth-telling. They give their daughters hope that they can have a happy marriage and family one day. They let them know that it’s not a crapshoot but something within their control when they use good judgment.
The psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, said: “True listening involves setting aside of the self.” Yet, how often do any of us really do that? When a mom puts her ego on the shelf, she can find out what her daughter is truly feeling. Listening is more valuable than any advice that you can give.