Whenever my dad gets home from work, I think, “Oh, great. How will this go?” It’s because of my anxiety. It’s so bad sometimes that I don't know who to trust. What am I to do?

Answer

It must be incredibly difficult being so anxious. Can you imagine waking up each morning and viewing every day as a new adventure? Because that’s what life is if you can let go of the anxiety and fear. Life is a fantastic journey with highs and lows, good days and bad days.

I think you should start by trying to figure out when / where / why your anxious feelings first began.

I’m wondering why you have trust issues, and why you can’t be confident that everything will be okay when your dad gets home from work.

Perhaps your dad has a bad temper, or he behaves irrationally or inappropriately. If that’s the case, I suggest you talk with your mother. And if you want to talk with me more about exactly what’s going on with your dad, start a conversation with me in the Comments section at the bottom of this article. There’s lots of space there for us to chat back and forth.

If you get anxious and can’t trust your dad, that’s a definite problem. But it has become a bigger problem if that fear has spread to include everyone else in your life.

Or maybe you can identify some other person or event associated with your earliest anxiety attacks. Perhaps your relationship with your father has changed as you’ve become more broadly anxious, not necessarily because of anything specific he did.

You know I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, so I’m not going to make the kind of suggestions a doctor might make. I’ll just share a few of my thoughts, in the hope they help. Sometimes we just need help to make sense of things, and to change our view of a problem. So here goes ...

Let me ask you a couple of questions.

If you were bitten by a dog, would you be frightened of all dogs? Or would you be frightened of that particular breed or the specific dog?

If your first boyfriend (or girlfriend) lets you down and breaks your heart, do you think it makes sense to ‘hate’ all men/women? Or perhaps everyone who looks like your former partner, has similar interests, or supports the same football team?

Or do you think it is far more logical and reasonable just to blame your former partner for your broken heart; the one who actually disappointed you?

When it comes to trusting people in general, I think you should ask yourself questions like these.

Yes, I’m sure you’ve been hurt before when someone you trusted let you down. But you can’t blame the whole world for that. It makes no sense to be suspicious and fearful of everyone.

I suggest you spend some time trying to figure out who (or what) is your real fear ... and distancing everything else, so there’s no confusion.

If you can’t overcome the anxiety by thinking it through for yourself, I encourage you to go and see a doctor or a therapist.

Again I remind you, I’m happy to chat in the Comments section if you like.

Updated on May 9, 2018

Original Article:

I Hate My Dad—Trouble at Home
By LongTimeMother
working

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