Why does my dad call me names?

Answer

Since I don’t know your dad, I can’t say. All I can do is speak from my own experience and from what other people have shared with me. With that being said, some parents resort to name-calling out of a combination of ignorance and arrogance.

My dad was a highly intelligent college graduate but never bothered to learn about parenting even though he fathered four kids. He never took a parenting class, never read a parenting book, and never showed a drop of curiosity about child development. He was a man who never should have been a dad but that’s what was expected of him during the 1960s.

Like many moms and dads, he went into parenting with the mindset that it was easy and that he didn’t need to educate himself about it. As a result of his ignorance and arrogance, he wound up not having any parenting philosophy or any long-range plan for rearing his kids. He just reacted with anger and frustration as different problems arose and name-calling became his favorite weapon.

When he became stressed with his job or worried about family finances, his name-calling escalated. He could be cruel, deriving pleasure from making his kids cry, especially my sister and me. When we stopped showing any outward emotional response to his name-calling, it diminished.

When a mom or dad resorts to name-calling, it reveals that they don’t have the necessary tools to parent in a mature, thoughtful way. It has nothing to do with their kids. Therefore, I encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult who can speak to your father on your behalf: a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, your mom, your coach, or a family friend. Your dad needs to hear from another grownup that what he’s doing is wrong and that he needs to learn better ways of parenting. Take good care of yourself!

Updated on June 12, 2020

Original Article:

5 Reasons Parental Verbal Abuse Is Far More Damaging Than We Thought
By McKenna Meyers
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